Please add in the quotation marks. Here is my edits. Also pay attention to the commas and correct words.Shelbyville's Bad For Business.
You were Bozo B. Buffone, and things were looking bright. Sure, your relatively short life didn't start off that great (those desperate hunted days after you and your family escaped from the lab still haunt you), but that was in the past. After months of hard work and a lot of luck, you'd managed to rise above the drudgery your 98 brothers (and one sister) found themselves in and entered the coveted realm of the middle class. Sure, being a franchisee for "The Hyper-Potamus Pizza-Party-Torium" wasn't glamorous, but what else was a guy in permanent clown makeup supposed to apply a small business loan for? A nightclub? A mattress store? That'd just be silly.
You knew that you couldn't screw this up. If you succeed here, you'd be the first of the B.B. clan to make something of themselves and get out of B.B. Prime's shadow. Sure, Springfield and Shelbyville weren't exactly your first pick of locations (for obvious reasons), but besides some local place called Krusty Burger, it was mostly free of the bigger chains, and you figured you could make his mark on the area. And after the meetings with both towns mayors, they made it clear you could only set up shop in one of them. You knew that the choice of location could make or break his career as a restaurateur.
It took a few days of searching, but you found a place in Springfield that looked like it would make a great location. It was near the new MegaMall, so it would hopefully leech off the people going to it. The decrepit looking Lasertag place next door was an eyesore, but hopefully, either someone would fix it up, or if the business really boomed, you could turn it into an extended parking lot.
You were just about to head over to Shelbyville and scout out locations there when a couple of Italian men pulled up in a black van. One got out of the side door and shouted at you. "Hey clown, you want some lemons? They uh… fell off the back of a truck." Well, you were never one to turn down free food. There was a famine, after all. (And you remembered those first terrible starving days of your life). You approached the van, and the next thing you knew, you were waking up in what looked like a dimly lit warehouse.
As you awoke from the groggy delirium, you noticed you were sitting at a table with an overhead lamp being the only light in the room. You weren't tied up, but the guys from the van standing beside you quickly dissuaded you from the notion of getting up. Once they saw you were awake, one shouted into the darkness. "Hey boss, he's up!" a small flame briefly shone out of the dark as a large Italian man walked out of the darkness, followed by even more thugs. As he finished lighting his cigar, he looked you over. He turned to one of his goons, irritation showing in his voice. Who's this Bozo?" (Oh crap, they know your name!!!) "He's the guy who's building the crappy pizza joint," the man who offered you lemons answered. The big man sighed as he sat down. "What is it with this town and clowns owning restaurants?"
"Who.. who are you, and what do you want from me?" Any reason to be kidnapped would be bad, but you at least wanted to know. The Fat man smiled; it was a malicious smile, a cold smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Me? You could say I'm just a concerned citizen. As for what I want?" He takes a puff of his cigar. "I'm just ensuring you don't make a grave mistake."
"As an Italian, I must say I am disappointed in your company serving pineapple on its pizza. Especially given what happened to Hawaii." All the thugs started making the sign of the cross at that. Crap, one of them was putting on brass knuckles! Thankfully, the fat guy waved him off as he continued to speak. "However, as a legitimate businessman myself, I must warn you that a business in Shelbyville is a risky prospect. All sorts of awful things may happen to an entrepreneurial clown such as yourself." You started to shiver at the obvious threat. "Oh really?" You squeak in reply. The Fat man grinned at that. "Of course. Unexpected fires, vandalism, robberies, maybe even worse. If you don't believe me, just ask Skinny Giuseppe."
Who?
The big man took a puff of his cigar and looked straight into your soul as he answered you. "Precisely." You didn't think his smile could be more predatory, but there it is. (Oh crap, now he and all his goons are laughing. Uh, you better laugh too). You begin to chuckle along halfheartedly. Which was apparently the wrong move as the man raised his hand, and everyone was suddenly quiet.
"I see by your awkward laughter that you need further convincing." A grim look came over the man's face. "I'm truly sorry, my comedic friend. I really did not want to do this. Bring it in, boys!" You tried to bolt from the chair. To make a run for it. But the goons grabbed you and pushed you back down. With dawning horror, you watched as the fat man reached into his jacket pocket. All your struggling in vain. You closed your eyes, not wanting to see the end coming. When suddenly, there was a loud.
BOOOM!!!
"As you can see here, Springfield has seen unprecedented growth in the past few quarters while Shelbyville has recently begun stagnating."
…What? Seriously, What?!
You opened your eyes to see the fat man wearing a pair of reading glasses and shuffling through a manila folder. One of many folders and books now stacked up on the table. And some of the thugs looked like they were setting up some sort of video presentation.
"Hey, Bozo, I hope you're paying attention! I hate this bookkeeping shit, and I don't want to be here all night." As you saw the stacks upon stacks of financial data and statistics the goons were unloading onto the table, you could only ask yourself one question. Why can't they just shoot me?
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I had fun writing this. I'm especially proud of the Skinny Giuseppe joke. The hardest thing was actually coming up with a name so I just settled with what it is. Let me know if you see any errors.
A Hellfish flys again! ( a Simpsons X DVV CK2 Quest)
- Thread starter Ranger65
- Start date
Please add in the quotation marks. Here is my edits. Also pay attention to the commas and correct words.
Man that is amazing. When I asked for people to point out any mistakes I was expecting a missing or misspelt word. Not a full blown edit. Thanks.
- Pronouns
- Female
Very sweet! Canon!
Your Reward is either
+5 to a Homer Personal Action
OR
+5 to a National Action Homer is assigned to
One of the most unexpected Omakes, but definitely a very interesting one! Canon... mostly. We shall have to debate on if Foxy Loxy actually comes to Springfield or not
Anyways your rewards are:
+5 to Opening A New Ecosystem
OR
+5 Springfields infiltration DC next turn
OR
A Mystery Box (A QM is interested in the consequences of this)
Pfft. Fun and amusing! Happy to see the Birthday Bandit Clones are doing ok as they can given the circumstances.
Canon (though still doesn't guarantee The pizzeria will come to Springfield)
+ 10 to a Hiring Action
OR
A Question for us QMs
Hmmm…. Hit me with that mystery box chief
- Location
- Germany
Dunno if you guys are still getting to it, but there´s still my third CAndace omake to scrutinize as well
So I talked to the QM's on Discord about the mystery box I chose. They said we have like till turn eight for the consequences or something related to it due to my mystery box.
Oh, we forgot to include!
A lovely continuation to the vampire candace storyline, Excited to see how you continue this series of excellent omakes!, Canon
Chose between
+ 10 to a occult roll
OR
+ 10 to a Doofenshmirtz related roll
OR
A Question for us QMs
Cool, I'll take the +5 to a Homer personal
- Location
- Germany
Thanks, guys
I'll take the +10 to a Doof action - can I use it on him this RER alrady?
If yes, maybe whichever of his taken Actions got the hightest DC
But yeah, that omake being canon as well means three things:
- Candace s closest friends and family now knof her being a vampire
- She, Stacy and Jeremy are now at least trying out a full polypile relationship
- Isabella and Phineas are now a couple as well, with the girl being very grateful towards Candace for having her a much needed shove forward
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MrWealthman
Filthy Capitalist
- Location
- Deep in the piles of cash.
This may be me just wanting to make a xxxl drink but do you think we can grow limes?
Well since I already have a question I'm struggling to come up with* I'll go with the + 10 to a Hiring Action.
*I promise I'll try and figure one out by the time the full turn is done.
- Location
- Fall, or somewhere close to it
You know it only seems fair to ask this.
I am nearing completion of the party interlude but who would you all like to see interact? I've got room for 1-2 more scenes and would love to hear who you all would like to see interact together.
I am nearing completion of the party interlude but who would you all like to see interact? I've got room for 1-2 more scenes and would love to hear who you all would like to see interact together.
Since they're in Springfield I wouldn't mind the Good Luck Charlie family or The Greens getting some screen time. Other then them any of the non Springfielder's reacting to Springfield is good really.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Well might be bias since wrote the omake but wouldn't mind some highlight on Comic Book Guy and Kumiko are doing along with wedding plans.
Outside of that would love to see Webby and Lena meet and interact with Lisa, Bart, and two certain Green children~
OH! And perhaps have a little reunion between the Greens and Gloria.
Outside of that perhaps see Binkley and Bates also enjoying themselves or potentially making a friend. Though do to a recent Simpsons episode Women in Shorts can't help but picture Binkley forming a rivalry with Agnes Skinner~
we're Having a party!
- Location
- Fall, or somewhere close to it
We're Having A Party!
You stood in the parking lot of the Power Plant and was shocked that in January they were having the barbeque to end all barbeques!
When you had entrusted your son with the task of organizing a party not just for your employees, but basically the whole town there was a part of you that was worried that he might prove to be his usual lazy self but he really showed up! Working with Frink to set up a series of heaters that kept the entire area nice and toasty while also setting up a big sledding hill meant you was currently enjoying a grilled burger as he watched Lena, Webby, and what appeared to be a very reluctant Hunter sledding down the largest of the hills set up, the two ducks laughing as the poor boy yelled out.
Several Springfield residents were cheering him on as they went down the almost vertical drop. You're sure the young man would be fine as you continued your walk through the party.
Passing by the tavern pop up Moe had brought along, you see that the man himself was currently fighting Barney off from one of the kegs with the help of that lady friend of his. Huh, girl had a mean right hook, Barney bouncing back to his seat stool with a noise you could hear from here. You gave the two of them a wave as you passed, but you're fairly certain neither of them saw you as the hearts in Moe's eyes meant he had eyes only for one person right now.
As you wandered through and saw the people of Springfield out and happy, taking this time to really cut loose and let off some steam, a smile crossed your face. You just hope your employees were having as much fun.
You were Hunter, and you had a mouthful of snow.
You were surprisingly okay with that as you saw Lena was buried up to her stomach, headfirst, in a pile of snow. Webby was stuck hanging by her sweater in a nearby tree. She waved cheerfully at you as you spat out snow, seemingly unbothered by her predicament. Of course, this was Webby. She was probably fine.
Pushing yourself up and wiping the snow off, you trudged over to the taller duck and grabbed onto her legs.
"I'm gonna pull you out, okay?"
All you got in response was a muffled noise you couldn't make out through all the snow. Still, you figured Lena wasn't enjoying being headfirst in a snowbank, so you pulled—
—and immediately landed on your butt as Lena rocketed backward, her glowing hand blasting her free.
"Lena!" Webby screamed in alarm from her perch, kicking her legs in a futile attempt to free herself.
You were already moving, diving forward just in time to catch Lena before she could crash headfirst into the ground. The momentum sent both of you sprawling in a tangled heap.
The two of you locked eyes for a moment before bursting into laughter. Lena pushed herself up from your grasp, brushing snow off her jacket as she grinned.
"Okay, maybe I didn't need to give the sled that last little push when we hit the jump," Lena admitted, her laughter bubbling through her words as she clung to her knees for support.
"Maybe?!" Webby called from her tree, still dangling like a decoration. "A little push?! That thing went airborne!"
You and Lena exchanged a glance before both breaking into another fit of laughter. Webby groaned but couldn't keep the smile off her face.
The two of you manage to get Webby down, Lena grumbling that she absolutely could have freed herself but no, Webby was insistent that she had to be saved and that was that.
Handing the sled off to the next group, who were apparently having second thoughts after seeing how your adventure went, you all grabbed some hot chocolate. Finding a spot at a nearby table, you settled down in the space between the heaters and the cold, an odd mix of warmth on one side of your body and cold on the other.
"This is nice," Lena notes idly, stirring her hot chocolate as she looked out over the party as a whole. "Gramps really knows how to get a party going apparently. Or at least, he knows how to pick someone to put everything together."
"Definitely the best boss I've ever had," you agree as you finish your sip of cocoa. "Though considering the competition to be my uncle, that's not that hard."
"Oh don't try and beat me in who's got the worst former family boss," Lena counters, pointing her finger at you with a smirk on her face. "Let me tell you golden boy, my aunt has got anything your uncle did beat by a mile."
"Ummm guys I don't think debating whose role model was worse is a good thing," Webby speaks up, but the both of you ignore her.
"Oh is that right? Did your aunt brainwash you for as long as you can remember to be their tool to be used and discarded?" You challenge, an odd energy filling you as you so casually confess something you doubt you could have talked to a therapist about.
"All that and a bag of chips soldier boy," she leans back in her seat, a smirk on her bill. "How about only giving any sign of affection when it was a means to an end to further their own end goal and magical ascension?"
"And made you think you were a part of something much bigger. That you had a purpose and weren't just a… thing."
"Yeah…"
The table goes quiet as Webby looks between the two of you, a mix between worry and sadness on her face.
You swallow hard. "I didn't just work for him. I worshipped him," You confess, the words tumbling out. "I believed everything he said, no matter how awful. I thought I was helping people, doing something important. Turns out, I was just helping him hurt more people."
Lena sighed, running a hand through her feathers. "Sounds familiar. Magica wasn't just my aunt; she was my everything. Or at least, that's what I thought. She made me believe I owed her everything, that I was nothing without her. It's... it's hard to unlearn that, y'know?"
Another moment of silence before Webby desperately tries to change the subject. "SO! How about we head over to the barbeque! That'll be great and completely non-traumatic right?"
"What's the worst thing your uncle ever did to you?"
"Lena!" Webby gasps, mortified.
You just give her a look. "Uh, try everything.'"
"No, I mean, like, what's the pettiest thing. The stuff that wasn't evil, just... stupid."
You thought for a moment before snorting. "He used to make me stand in the rain for hours as 'punishment.' Said it was character building. Really, I think he just enjoyed watching me get soaked."
Lena cackled. "That's awful. Magic had me sleep in a cauldron for a full week once, it was supposed to 'prepare my mind' for the potion she was going to have me make. I know that potion now, doesn't need that, she was just being a witch because I spent too much time focusing on fixing a hole in my hideout and not enough time on her revenge schemes."
"No way."
"Way."
You laughed, shaking your head. "Okay, that's pretty bad. But did she ever make you clean her entire lair with a toothbrush? Because Belos did. Twice."
Lena raised an eyebrow. "That's child abuse."
"No kidding."
Webby groaned, burying her face in her hands. "You two are the worst."
You and Lena ignored her, now fully engrossed in your trauma bonding.
Was it healthy? No. But you both had made it out now and could laugh and cry about it as much or as little as you wished to. So you both decided to laugh tonight.
Because it was your choice now.
You were… Well everyone around here called you Professor Crumbs and that was a fine title.
It was no "Headmaster Crumbs" like you had been for thousands of years now, but the world was changing-
No. No the world had changed and it had decided it didn't need you anymore. A 'confiscated' wand, little but what you could fit inside your magically expanded suitcase to try and pack up millenia of life, and what megger amount of money you had in your personal account.
For the first time in millenia you didn't have a duty to the Wizarding World. You were not the one to see the youths grow into the wizards of tomorrow, nor the one to guide them along their paths. It might have been welcome and freeing had it not been thrust upon you in such a fashion.
If it had not cost the life of a young man with such a bright future ahead of him.
"Aye, if you're gonna sigh you gotta at least drink with me too."
You look at the young man sharing the bench with you as the two of you look over the field of barbeques set up. Mr. Beardsley didn't look a day over 70 and he wore the age well, barely a stoop in his spine and still a gleam in his eye.
"That is fair and very rude of me, I apologize my good man."
He grunts and holds his wooden tankard to you, which you clink with your own personal flask. You rarely had a chance to truly cut loose as the principle of Wiz-Tech, but the flask was a gift from Dionysus from back in the day and you could hardly throw away such a keepsake could you?
Taking a pull of the everfull wine flask, you smack your lips at the taste as Mr. Beardsley let out a contented sigh having polished off his entire drink in one long pull.
"You seem rather content today Mr. Beardsley, beyond that of even just the festivities. Would you be willing to share what has got you in such high spirits?"
"Sure," he says, scratching his beard as he looks at the empty tankard. "Managed to talk to some people I'd been trying to meet for a while now. They were weird, but good weird. Like Abe or you."
"I'll have you know that I am perfectly normal for a wizard." You reply with a smile.
"That's because all wizards are like you, probably."
His reply catches you on the backfoot but you give him your full attention even as he seems to focus on one of the grills cooking up a number of sausage links.
"And what exactly do you mean by that?"
"You ran a school." His eyes briefly return to you before focusing on the grill again. "Ran it for a long time. You decided what got taught, how it got taught. That means anyone who went there learned like you."
"I assure you, I was a light hand!" You reply, sitting up and starting to feel a small bit of anger. "I would leave teaching to the teachers, save for the times I had to substitute or help with a lesson."
"But you taught the teachers, or taught their teachers, or even further back." Jasper's eyes focus on you now and there is a light there, a hard and gleaming light that you had seen in the eyes of the Argonauts. "I've seen how you look at us Crumbs, look at all of us. Like we're all kids, even the old men like Abe and I who've seen hell. You see everyone as kids because that's what you did for forever, taught kids and shaped your secret little world because you taught kids."
Jasper stands and he seems… imposing.
"I appreciate what you're doing for Abe and the town Crumbs. But you're not in school anymore and no one around here, not even the kids, are gonna get to be kids for much longer."
You barely hear his last words as he heads towards the grills, the sounds of long contained joy almost blocking his words.
"Storm's coming. And it's bigger than anything anyone's ever seen."
You, Krusty the Clown, were incredibly nervous.
You had decided to do a set for the party, but as per usual, things had immediately gone awry.
The people who showed up were The Green family, that Gus kid and Bates. Others were probably milling about in earshot, but those were the ones who seemed really invested.
But your entire set was about Big City, people with big ears and Monkey Fist! SERIOUSLY!? WHAT WERE THE ODDS!?
You really couldn't afford pissing off a crowd again, you had been doing so well lately! What if one of them gets REALLY mad and spreads word and you have to go through the rigamarole of getting cancelled again!?
"Uhhhh.. H-Hey, I uh, don't think these jokes are, uh, appropriate! Yeah. So maybe come back later-" You try to weasel your way out.
"Whoa! Really!? Now I really gotta hear this!" Cricket exclaimed excitedly. Bill gave a sigh that was a mixture of exasperated and loving, and the others seemed in no rush to leave either, chanting "Krusty! Krusty! Krusty!"
Aw man. Name chanting. Your sixth greatest weakness!
Might as well get this over with...
"Why do they call it Big City? Because everyone is in a big rush to shittily waste your time..." You said, unable to work up enthusiasm for your doom.
To your utter shock, however, the crowd... laughed!? The Greens were laughing the hardest!
What!?
"Ha! It's true, a lot of people in Big City don't value time!" Nancy snorted.
"I am so lost, what is this, a Big City mall map?" You tell another joke on reflex, though you were genuinely baffled. The crowd laughs some more.
"...Are you folks ok?" You ask.
"Oooh, what's the punchline going to be?" Gus mused.
"... Because I think one of you might be lost to the Dumbo convention with those ears." You finish with another joke instead, trying to test the waters.
"Ha! I understand that reference!" Gus laughed.
"...." You are completely lost. They.... Weren't offended or looking to get mad at the drop of the hat!? These guys were weird!
"You're more fun than a barrel of monkeys, folks. I guess one of you would know, pampering the bottom of that Monkey Fist guy! Hope he didn't fling his poop everywhere!"
Bates, who had been reservedly chuckling, burst out into genuine laughter at that one.
"Ohohoho! Master Fisk was certainly a handful!" He agreed, wiping a tear.
"....I love you guys." You say, genuinely.
"...You know I can't say I can see what the punchline could possibly be. This is exciting!" Tilly obliviously smiled.
You facepalm. Ok, great crowd, but maybe not the best environment for sentimentality.
You're Dee while you're here and this party rules!
Not the boring section with all the calm stuff and clowns trying to do comedy, but this music absolutely RIPS!
Metal Wolf is a killer name for a band that shreds this hard! You had already knocked out like six people in the mosh pit and were now stepping over their bodies to head to the drinks stand. All that partying can really work up a thirst!
Throwing some kind of currency on the counter, you grabbed three bottles even as the proprietor looked at the crystals in confusion and walked off, already popping the top and taking a swig as you found a place to actually enjoy your drinks.
Only place open was a table that already had an old timer sitting at it with an open chair across from him. You give a grin to the fart as you slam into the seat across from him.
"This seat taken? Is now." You dare him to say something as your bottles are laid out on the table. Never as much of a fight in old people, but it's fun to get in a brawl wherever you can anyways.
"No young lady, The old guy laughs out. "No one was taking that seat, though I doubt anyone would be willing to say if they were anyways, you've got a heck of a look to ya!"
"Damn right old timer, Dee doesn't take shit from anybody." You point one of your drinks at him to emphasize your point while using your thumb to draw a line over your neck like.
"I don't doubt is missy," he takes a drink from his own bottle, a simple brew from the look of it, not nearly as hard as the stuff you were drinking. "And if they do, doubt they manage it a second time, do they?"
Your chuckle is a dark thing, but you nod along.
"Got it in one you old fart."
The top of the second bottle pops as you take a swig and look out at the absolute rager going on around the two of you.
"I gotta say, I've never been here before but this doesn't seem like your scene old-timer."
The man chuckled, surprising her. "Old-timer, huh? That's rich, comin' from someone wearin' enough chains to anchor a battleship. But yeah, this is my scene. I paid for it."
Dee arched an eyebrow. "What, the drinks? Good on you to get everyone pumped."
"Nope. The concert. The party. The whole shebang." He gestured broadly, his drink sloshing a little. "Figured the town deserved a bash, y'know? Celebrate the end of a crummy chapter.
Curiosity peaked, you tilt your head. "Oh? Something big happen around here then?"
"Yeah," The old guy chuckles as he nods. "Yeah you could say that. You're definitely from out of town, I'm sure I'd have heard about a lady like yourself by now otherwise."
You laugh at how right he is. "Yeah, definitely from waaaay out of town. But come on, share the deets with your drinking buddy, what's been going on?"
"Well we've had everything from our own government taking too much of an interest in us, to an old bastard named Burns trying to take down the whole city because he lost his fortune." He leans back in his chair and takes another sip of his drink as he continues. "But honestly, it's just been a year where everything outside seemed to be getting worse. Whole world seems darker, you know? Throwing a big bash like this, seemed like a good way to remind everyone that things can get better and they are getting better if I've got anything to say about it!"
The sentiment grosses you out a bit, but there is a real fire behind the old guy's words that you can get behind.
"Well anyone who throws a bash like this can't be all marshmallows and fluff," You raise your drink to meet his in a cheers. "Here's to shit continuing to get better and stepping on the necks of anyone that gets in the way of that."
"I've cheered to worse than that." The old man laughs as he clicks his bottle to yours. "Life's short in the grand scheme, let's enjoy it while we've got it. Lord knows that I'll do worse to make sure this town is safe and everyone gets to see another party like this come next year."
"Well if you're going to make this a yearly thing, I'll have to be sure to come back then old-timer."
"You're always welcome here…" He realized he doesn't have your name. You laugh as you stand, pulling the top off your last drink with your teeth and spitting it with such force it hits someone in the eye. The guy goes down, hard.
"It's Dee. Maybe you'll see me around."
With that exchange done, you head back into the pit, ready to break some more bones.
Still though… not bad for an old guy. Maybe you'd leave this place for last if they keep throwing parties like this.
You are Abe Simpson and somehow… you made all this happen. Sure your son may have planned the party, others may be catering it, and others still are running the rides, but you can see the joy on everyone's faces as they celebrate and you know this never would have happened with Burns still in control of the plant.
He was a monster who loved the misery of others and the sea of happy faces, the laughter, and the sheer relief people were showing never would have happened.
It's been a minute since you've had time to make it to church, but as you sit on this bench watching your grandson teaching several colorful children how to correctly aim a slingshot, watching Moe fall even further in love, and watching the entirety of Springfield come alive again, you take a minute to be thankful.
That you had the chance to make this better, that you could make up with your son and bring people a night of happiness, and that there was a Springfield to make better.
As you open your eyes again, you see a teenage warlock standing in front of you looking more awkward than ever.
"Hey uh… you doin alright Gramps? Need another nap?"
"I'm fine Lena." You wave her off before scooting over to let her take a seat next to you. "Enjoying the party."
"Yeah actually, a lot more than I expected." She takes the offered spot next to you, not sitting down but perching and seemingly nervous despite her words. "But uh Webby had brought up that I needed to ask you something and I figured now while you're in a good mood would be the best time so…"
You give her a moment as she very much doesn't say whatever it is that's got her in such a knot.
You give her another as she begins worrying at her own hands, pulling at the sleeves of her sweater.
You don't give her another.
"Lena, you're as welcome in my house as any of the rest of my family."
The teenage warlock of immense power falls from her perched position and face plants into the ground.
She pushes herself back up before you can really react and spits out some grass, her face red and her eyes a little wild.
"What?! No! That's not what- I mean I'm really grateful Gramps and Flanders has been trying to get me off his couch and it'll be great to live with Webby and all but-" She stops herself and slaps at her own cheeks trying to recenter herself.
"Okay. Okay." She breaths in as you watch her go through this, really not sure what's going on. "Look Gramps, you've been nothing but good to me and Webby so I want you to know that the reason we all had to run away from Duckberg… was me."
She looks down and seems to expect you to blow up at her but you don't really get it.
"Lena, sure you've got magic but… you're what 13? How could you make a lady like Ms.Beakly need to move?" You had seen the woman lift an entire couch one handed while your son was sleeping on it, that was a strong woman.
"Because of my aunt. Magica DeSpell."
The night was as clear as it comes without a cloud in the sky, but when Lena spoke that name you swear you heard a crack of thunder.
"She… she's the most powerful witch I've ever seen and she… she made me."
Now you're getting even more confused!
"I know a thing or two about how family stuff works Lena," you say, uncertainty in your tone as you look at her. "But wouldn't that make her not your Aunt if she made you? Wouldn't that make her your-"
"NO!"
The force of her voice is enhanced, laced with magic from the sheer denial of what you were about to say as you nearly bowl over the bench.
Pulling yourself back up, you see that Lena looks horrified and has her fists balled.
"I'm… I'm sorry Gramps this was stupid, all of this was dumb I shouldn't have talked about this, I shouldn't even be here."
She's about to run off.
You're not going to make the same mistakes again.
Taking her hand as she turns to run, you pull her into a hug, even as she's stiff as a board.
"Look Lena, I dunno what this 'Magiky" lady did, but if she's got ya this ruffled, she didn't deserve ya and I'm glad ya ran from her. You're a good kid who deserves better."
She is stiff as you hug her, but slowly she relaxes, hugging you back. You don't notice the wetness that drips onto you in the hug.
"Thanks Gramps…"
As you hold the girl you say one more thanks of your own.
Lena eventually pulls back from the hug and gives you a watery smile.
"You're good people Abe, you know that?"
"Nah, but I'm trying to be," Chuckling, you shake your head. "That's all a guy can do right?"
"Probably. Now come on Gramps, things are wrapping up and they're probably gonna want you to give a speech."
"Nerts to them and nerts to a speech," you say, settling back down on the bench. You can see Frink setting up the fireworks display, having promised something very special for the night's conclusion. "I paid for this party, if they want a speech they can get the guy who planned it to give one."
You were Homer Simpson and you were being pushed on stage to a crowd of people.
All those hot dogs and beer probably weren't a good idea but you didn't know you'd have to give a speech!
As you grab the mic you decide to wing it.
"Hello Springfield!" You yell out and the crowd roars back. This was easy!
"I can't hear you, I said HELLO SPRINGFIELD!"
The wall of screams back are deafening but you just grin and wave both arms as the people scream and shout.
"Glad you're all enjoying the New Year's BBQ Bash! I gotta say, when my dad told me to throw a party I wasn't sure what it'd be."
"Food and beer were your idea, what a surprise!"
The heckling gets a laugh from the crowd but all you can do is smile.
"You're dang right it was! And look how much everyone is enjoying themselves! If anyone doesn't want their beer and food, I'll be sure to take it off your hands!"
More laughs from the crowd, but this time much more on your side.
"I'm supposed to do some kinda big speech, but I think I just wanna say thank you to my dad." You point out to the crowd, you can't see him but you think it'll look cool if you do it. "Dad! Thanks for believing in me! For believing in Springfield! For getting everyone back on their feet after the dome! And thanks for the party! Let's do it again next year!"
The roar of approval from the crowd is drowned out as Frink sets off his fireworks, the explosions and brilliant displays letting you step off stage into Marge's arms as you both enjoy the display.
Free food, beer, and your wife was here.
A good night.
Results:
Springfield has had a hell of a party! Relationship with Springfield has increased to 10/10! You have earned the trust and love of the city and your 'A Grandpa to all Springfield' trait has evolved. It now gives a +15 to rolls when helping solve a situation in the city, granting the same bonus to protecting his family or citizens of Springfield from danger and advantage on rolls to protect them.
In addition, new actions are unlocked and Springfield itself seems more alive.
All of your heroes had a great time at the party, though some had a better time than others.
Jasper, Frink, Kaiser, Mona, Apu, The Finale, Professor Crumbs, and Rotwood all gain +5 Opinion
Ned, Tony, Moe, Willie, Hunter, and Krusty all gain +10 Opinion
Homer and Lena +20 Opinion
That old coots of burns must be revolving on his chair seeing a lot of his fortune being wasted in something so useless and for those that he sees as lessers in his eyes.
Which is fine by me, the sooner we give the old coot a heart attack the better.
But man, this, this really shows that if it wasn't for Burns, Springfield is indeed a good and quirky place to live in.
Just need to fix Burns screws ups and cover ups over the years and we are golden.
Also hey new character, cannot really recognize who this Dee is at the moment but seems chill.
I loved everyone interactions.
Lena and Hunter bonding over their shitty lives much to Webby dismay.
Crumbs and Jasper really setting in the tone of how fucked the situation is really and Jasper outright telling Crumbs that he needs to take off those old glasses of his and see things for what they are really.
Lena getting a peptalk from Abe and finally at least accepting that people are giving her another chance no matter what, so she may as well take it and well if Magica comes to rip her out of our hands, then that witch has another thing coming, I still have to see someone who is inmune to lead when they are distracted and is not made of bullshittium.
And Homer, he is just happy this turned out fine and so we are.
Which is fine by me, the sooner we give the old coot a heart attack the better.
But man, this, this really shows that if it wasn't for Burns, Springfield is indeed a good and quirky place to live in.
Just need to fix Burns screws ups and cover ups over the years and we are golden.
Also hey new character, cannot really recognize who this Dee is at the moment but seems chill.
I loved everyone interactions.
Lena and Hunter bonding over their shitty lives much to Webby dismay.
Crumbs and Jasper really setting in the tone of how fucked the situation is really and Jasper outright telling Crumbs that he needs to take off those old glasses of his and see things for what they are really.
Lena getting a peptalk from Abe and finally at least accepting that people are giving her another chance no matter what, so she may as well take it and well if Magica comes to rip her out of our hands, then that witch has another thing coming, I still have to see someone who is inmune to lead when they are distracted and is not made of bullshittium.
And Homer, he is just happy this turned out fine and so we are.
MrWealthman
Filthy Capitalist
- Location
- Deep in the piles of cash.
Well we reached max relationship with Springfield and our trait upgraded! Shame that means we don't need to pave the streets in gold…. Aw heck let's do it anyway!
So uhh gang we might have a little issue with Dee…
Yeah, she's a bad guy.
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdEo_t-iVbM
Looks like we're throwing a party next year too.
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdEo_t-iVbM
Looks like we're throwing a party next year too.
Surprise it's dominator who just came to our party…
So everyone if they want to panic, please do it in the panic hole
So everyone if they want to panic, please do it in the panic hole
- Location
- Germany
...we´ll think about it, okay, you big goofball - thanks, Homer..^^
...what was the OLD version for "A Grandpa to all Springfield" again, guys? Just for comparison´s sake
But yeah, great news, guys - both the new action options (*as long as they aren´t fucking STEW^^*) and the partially *insane* Opinion buffs
Pretty sure that anyone trying to unseat us now will have their work cut out for them - also funny that the epilogue of my Titania omake (taking place in late T 5, remember?) turned out to be eerily prophetic about people gaining a lot of hope about Springfield being able to drag itself outta its decades-old funk and really loving Abe for it
Weird how that one panned out despite me having written that omake way back in T2 or T3 iirc - even more reason to seriously consider buying the Burlesque House soon-ish, eh?^^
It was +10 with our old trait before it got updated
- Location
- Germany
And once we do that, we have these guys patrol the city for extra cheeky referential fun^^
View: https://youtu.be/-Eo910_YDWc
- Location
- Three feet to the left
- Pronouns
- He/They
Good times, good times! And Homer's right, we should do this next year!
We should probably follow up with Lena next turn, maybe also Beakly.
Jasper's pretty canny when he wants to be, huh? We might want to see about getting Crumb his magic back...
We should probably follow up with Lena next turn, maybe also Beakly.
Jasper's pretty canny when he wants to be, huh? We might want to see about getting Crumb his magic back...