6.9 - Breaking
Erien
God's Weakest Soldier
- Location
- Georgia
- Pronouns
- He/Him
[Sakura]
She was doing her best to recall what little she knew of magecraft, and was having a breakdown all the way. Something called to her, something she could not contain.
Thanks to @Armoury for the beta!
—
You have company from the very moment you opened the door to your room, Leysritt is standing just outside it. The maid expressionless as she bows deeply. She rises a moment later, red eyes fixed on you. "Hello again, do I need to replace the sheets?"
"Why would… you need to do that?"
Leysritt tilts her head. "To cleanse them of your debauchery."
… No, not even worth engaging. "Where's Sakura?"
Leysritt tilts her head the other way. "Were the two servants not enough? You require even more?"
"Where's Sakura?"
Leysritt points a finger down the hall. "Take two left turns, first door on your right."
You nod, and step past her. Leysritt watches you leave, then, clutching her nose she enters your room.
—
View: https://youtu.be/ZW7heWDx38A
---
The door to her room was partially open, and you didn't bother to knock. Instead you open the door the rest of the way slow-
"Gandr!"
Sakura was standing in the middle of the room, her right hand outstretched with a pointed finger. From it a bolt of light launched, firing against the wall where an ornamental shield rested. The bolt of magic slammed into the shield, causing it to bulge inward before it fell off the wall, skidding across the floor to rest at Sakura's feet. The girl… woman stood there panting, sweat pouring down her face. Then she tipped over, falling to the side and landing on the carpet. Archer, in the corner of the room, begins to move towards her, but stops and disappears from sight as you enter the room yourself. You run to her side, sliding down on your knees and lifting her by the back of the head to look her face to face.
Her hair clung to her forehead, and every breath came out in a harsh pant. Her chest rose and fell with abandon as she fought for every breath, her face a rictus of pain. You move a hand to the side of her face, saying nothing, letting her breathe. Her gaze was unfocused, shifting from point to point. With time, her breathing calmed however, though the sweat and general exhaustion remained as she turned her focus to you with none of the usual exuberance you had grown accustomed to.
"Are you alright Sakura?"
She stares at you, saying nothing. Then, she slowly extricates herself from you, sitting up. She's still panting, her clothes sticking to her in places. She hadn't bothered to take off the heavier winter clothing she had been wearing when you arrived here. "No." Sakura says quietly, so quietly you aren't sure she said anything at all.
"No, I'm not."
It wasn't much, but from Sakura it was a lot. The girl was never honest with how she was feeling, at least with negative emotions. Whenever she was in poor moods, she was usually obvious about it. She tended to avoid you. Now though, it was different. Sakura seemed tired, and more than just physically.
"I'm not a magus. I wasn't ever taught." Sakura says quietly. "Nothing beyond the absolute basics and what I could teach myself. I wasn't taught anything useful, it wasn't my role. I can't help you."
"Sakura, I care more about you being safe than you helping me." You say quietly. "The whole reason I involved myself in this war was so that people wouldn't get hurt. Something I've…" you close your eyes. "Something I've been less than successful at. I understand you want to he-"
"Don't pretend you understand! Nobody ever understood! Nobody ever cared! Not you, not Rin, not my father! Nobody ever cared because I wasn't worth caring about!" Sakura screams, jerking around to face you. "I'm weak! I've always been…" Sakura slumps. "Weak. I've never been strong enough, and now my sister is dead."
Your hands had been moving to steady her, but they still. "Your sister?" you… weren't even aware she had one. But then, when did Sakura ever talk about her home life?
Sakura looks away. "Rin… Rin was my sister."
Your heart skips a beat, and a chill fills you. "Ri… how?"
Sakura turns her head slowly towards you, her eyes vacant of emotion. "I was a Magus. Rin was a Magus. A family can only have one magical heir. I was given to the Matou. They found a use for me. Rin never cared." Her lip twitches, like she wants to smile but can't. "I don't know what to do now that she's dead. Be happy? Sad?" She looks away once more. "Nobody ever cared, so I don't know what I'm supposed to be feeling." Sakura hangs her head. " "I'm… I'm… I'm not even supposed to be alive."
Your arms wrap around her, a million questions running through your mind. None of them are any more important than the overriding desire to hold her until everything is alright again. "I'm sorry, Sakura. I know that isn't enough, but I'm sorry."
Sakura hesitates for a moment, then her hands gently move to hold your arms there. She says nothing, but as she begins to cry silently, you simply hold her tighter. You don't say anything, you are simply there for her. A rock, just as you are for Ayako, just as you are for everyone else you could be. It could have lasted half an hour, hell, it could have lasted the entire rest of the day and you would be there for her. But eventually the tears stop falling, she doesn't move however, her hands still on your arms as if afraid you'll disappear the moment she lets go. You refuse to let go yourself, she could stay there as long as she needed to, she had been through much lately, too much. It wasn't the first time the two of you had sat in simple silence, but it was the first time it had been filled with as much emotion.
"I still remember meeting you for the first time," you say quietly. "Back when I was still friends with Shinji years ago. You were so quiet then, I don't think you even said a word to me."
Sakura lets out a quiet breath. "Shinji had never brought anyone home… I didn't know what was going on."
You smile, "then we started talking at the archery club."
"I thought you were going to quit a few months ago. Ayako was… grumbling about it, saying you were running away."
"I had been thinking about it," you admit. "But… Taiga told me I actually needed a hobby that would cause me to interact with people instead of practicing magic in the shed all day… not that she knew about what I was actually doing there."
Sakura nods. "I saw you there once… a year ago. I knew you were a magus."
"Then why were you so surprised when you found me with Medea in my house?"
Sakura stirs slightly, adjusting herself against you. But doesn't remove herself. "I didn't want you to be involved in the war…" she says quietly. "I knew you were a Magus, but I was hoping I was wrong… or that you wouldn't get involved."
"I wish I didn't have to be," you say honestly. "I really wish I didn't. But too many lives are at risk."
"Why does it have to be you?"
"It has to be someone… and nobody else is doing anything. Not Ruler, not the other masters… whoever they are. Shinji certainly didn't, neither did…" you pause.
"Rin." Sakura finishes for you.
You say nothing for a few moments, then. "I knew you were a Magus too."
Sakura's head jerks, her red eyes looking up at you in confusion in alarm. "H-how? Not even Rin did."
"By lying." You reply with a smile.
Sakura stares at you wide eyed. Then her glares, her hand slapping yours lightly. "Shirou…" But she has a small smile on her face as well now, a far, far better expression than she had been wearing.
"Well I'm sorry, now I know I'll have to ask Medea to guard that shed to protect myself from peepers…" You shake your head. "Not that it matters, I'm going to have to go house hunting as soon as this is all over."
Sakura giggles, it's a quiet thing, but far better than how she was feeling just a few minutes prior. "There isn't much left of mine." Her head then looks up, scanning the room. It was nearly identical to yours in every way, barring the inclusion of a standing mirror in the corner. "This is… too much."
"I thought the same about Raiga's," you admit. "But I didn't have much of a choice there either. It's better than being homeless, and Illya is friendly."
"How do you know that?" Sakura asks, sounding more curious than accusatory. "You've only just met her."
You frown, wondering how to say this properly. "She's…" you sigh. "She's different, but she's helped me. Without getting anything in return really. She could have easily killed me whenever she wanted, on multiple occasions. If she was truly an enemy master, I wouldn't still be here right now."
"That… seems…"
"Don't worry about it," you say tiredly. "I get enough about my failings from Me- Caster. She's quicker than Mister Kuzuki is at pointing out mistakes."
… Speaking of which he was in that building, you aren't sure why and frankly you are afraid to find out. You hadn't been to school in so long that for all you know it had turned into a madhouse. Or, at least, as mad as the rest of Fuyuki was at this point.
"She's teaching you magic, right?"
"A bit… it's mostly Circe however. I can ask her to help you if you want." You say.
Sakura nods her head, then leans it back against you. She squirms a bit, pushing herself closer to you. "You're all I have left Shirou… I want to help."
You open your mouth to respond, but any response you have dies in your throat as she turns herself slowly around. Her eyes were… lidded slightly, and she was panting again. A fierce blush had overtaken her now as her hands press against your knees.
"Sakura, are you alr-"
She darts forward, her mouth capturing your own. You grunt in surprise, then fall back to the floor. Sakura goes with you, her lips never leaving your own. She molds herself against you, her legs tangling around yours, her hands now pressing against your shoulder. She removes herself a good twenty seconds later, her blush brighter than ever, her breath hot and heavy. "I'm sorry Shirou… I'm sorry… but I can't hold it back anymore."
And… you smelled something… something strange as she began to lean down again. Ever since Sakura had been staying with you outside her own house you had been starting to smell her magic more. A light scent, like… iron flowers. It wasn't a scent per se, most magic didn't rely on the 'senses'. But it was the detection of things unusual, anything different than normal. And now you smelled… you didn't know what it was. But it was rotting.
But Sakura pressed against you, still babbling apologies, tears flowing freely from her eyes as she held you against her. "I love you Shirou, you don't deserve someone as filthy as me…" She leans back, hands moving to her jacket. She grinds herself against you, crotch rubbing against crotch. "I'm sorry."
—
[] [You aren't filthy Sakura]
You never would be, this was moving too quickly, but if she needed the comfort, you weren't going to argue.
[] [Push her off]
This was going quickly, far too quickly.
[] [Call Medea]
Something was odd about this, she turned around too quickly. You tried to improve her mood, but this?
[] [Write-in]
She was doing her best to recall what little she knew of magecraft, and was having a breakdown all the way. Something called to her, something she could not contain.
Thanks to @Armoury for the beta!
—
You have company from the very moment you opened the door to your room, Leysritt is standing just outside it. The maid expressionless as she bows deeply. She rises a moment later, red eyes fixed on you. "Hello again, do I need to replace the sheets?"
"Why would… you need to do that?"
Leysritt tilts her head. "To cleanse them of your debauchery."
… No, not even worth engaging. "Where's Sakura?"
Leysritt tilts her head the other way. "Were the two servants not enough? You require even more?"
"Where's Sakura?"
Leysritt points a finger down the hall. "Take two left turns, first door on your right."
You nod, and step past her. Leysritt watches you leave, then, clutching her nose she enters your room.
—
View: https://youtu.be/ZW7heWDx38A
---
The door to her room was partially open, and you didn't bother to knock. Instead you open the door the rest of the way slow-
"Gandr!"
Sakura was standing in the middle of the room, her right hand outstretched with a pointed finger. From it a bolt of light launched, firing against the wall where an ornamental shield rested. The bolt of magic slammed into the shield, causing it to bulge inward before it fell off the wall, skidding across the floor to rest at Sakura's feet. The girl… woman stood there panting, sweat pouring down her face. Then she tipped over, falling to the side and landing on the carpet. Archer, in the corner of the room, begins to move towards her, but stops and disappears from sight as you enter the room yourself. You run to her side, sliding down on your knees and lifting her by the back of the head to look her face to face.
Her hair clung to her forehead, and every breath came out in a harsh pant. Her chest rose and fell with abandon as she fought for every breath, her face a rictus of pain. You move a hand to the side of her face, saying nothing, letting her breathe. Her gaze was unfocused, shifting from point to point. With time, her breathing calmed however, though the sweat and general exhaustion remained as she turned her focus to you with none of the usual exuberance you had grown accustomed to.
"Are you alright Sakura?"
She stares at you, saying nothing. Then, she slowly extricates herself from you, sitting up. She's still panting, her clothes sticking to her in places. She hadn't bothered to take off the heavier winter clothing she had been wearing when you arrived here. "No." Sakura says quietly, so quietly you aren't sure she said anything at all.
"No, I'm not."
It wasn't much, but from Sakura it was a lot. The girl was never honest with how she was feeling, at least with negative emotions. Whenever she was in poor moods, she was usually obvious about it. She tended to avoid you. Now though, it was different. Sakura seemed tired, and more than just physically.
"I'm not a magus. I wasn't ever taught." Sakura says quietly. "Nothing beyond the absolute basics and what I could teach myself. I wasn't taught anything useful, it wasn't my role. I can't help you."
"Sakura, I care more about you being safe than you helping me." You say quietly. "The whole reason I involved myself in this war was so that people wouldn't get hurt. Something I've…" you close your eyes. "Something I've been less than successful at. I understand you want to he-"
"Don't pretend you understand! Nobody ever understood! Nobody ever cared! Not you, not Rin, not my father! Nobody ever cared because I wasn't worth caring about!" Sakura screams, jerking around to face you. "I'm weak! I've always been…" Sakura slumps. "Weak. I've never been strong enough, and now my sister is dead."
Your hands had been moving to steady her, but they still. "Your sister?" you… weren't even aware she had one. But then, when did Sakura ever talk about her home life?
Sakura looks away. "Rin… Rin was my sister."
Your heart skips a beat, and a chill fills you. "Ri… how?"
Sakura turns her head slowly towards you, her eyes vacant of emotion. "I was a Magus. Rin was a Magus. A family can only have one magical heir. I was given to the Matou. They found a use for me. Rin never cared." Her lip twitches, like she wants to smile but can't. "I don't know what to do now that she's dead. Be happy? Sad?" She looks away once more. "Nobody ever cared, so I don't know what I'm supposed to be feeling." Sakura hangs her head. " "I'm… I'm… I'm not even supposed to be alive."
Your arms wrap around her, a million questions running through your mind. None of them are any more important than the overriding desire to hold her until everything is alright again. "I'm sorry, Sakura. I know that isn't enough, but I'm sorry."
Sakura hesitates for a moment, then her hands gently move to hold your arms there. She says nothing, but as she begins to cry silently, you simply hold her tighter. You don't say anything, you are simply there for her. A rock, just as you are for Ayako, just as you are for everyone else you could be. It could have lasted half an hour, hell, it could have lasted the entire rest of the day and you would be there for her. But eventually the tears stop falling, she doesn't move however, her hands still on your arms as if afraid you'll disappear the moment she lets go. You refuse to let go yourself, she could stay there as long as she needed to, she had been through much lately, too much. It wasn't the first time the two of you had sat in simple silence, but it was the first time it had been filled with as much emotion.
"I still remember meeting you for the first time," you say quietly. "Back when I was still friends with Shinji years ago. You were so quiet then, I don't think you even said a word to me."
Sakura lets out a quiet breath. "Shinji had never brought anyone home… I didn't know what was going on."
You smile, "then we started talking at the archery club."
"I thought you were going to quit a few months ago. Ayako was… grumbling about it, saying you were running away."
"I had been thinking about it," you admit. "But… Taiga told me I actually needed a hobby that would cause me to interact with people instead of practicing magic in the shed all day… not that she knew about what I was actually doing there."
Sakura nods. "I saw you there once… a year ago. I knew you were a magus."
"Then why were you so surprised when you found me with Medea in my house?"
Sakura stirs slightly, adjusting herself against you. But doesn't remove herself. "I didn't want you to be involved in the war…" she says quietly. "I knew you were a Magus, but I was hoping I was wrong… or that you wouldn't get involved."
"I wish I didn't have to be," you say honestly. "I really wish I didn't. But too many lives are at risk."
"Why does it have to be you?"
"It has to be someone… and nobody else is doing anything. Not Ruler, not the other masters… whoever they are. Shinji certainly didn't, neither did…" you pause.
"Rin." Sakura finishes for you.
You say nothing for a few moments, then. "I knew you were a Magus too."
Sakura's head jerks, her red eyes looking up at you in confusion in alarm. "H-how? Not even Rin did."
"By lying." You reply with a smile.
Sakura stares at you wide eyed. Then her glares, her hand slapping yours lightly. "Shirou…" But she has a small smile on her face as well now, a far, far better expression than she had been wearing.
"Well I'm sorry, now I know I'll have to ask Medea to guard that shed to protect myself from peepers…" You shake your head. "Not that it matters, I'm going to have to go house hunting as soon as this is all over."
Sakura giggles, it's a quiet thing, but far better than how she was feeling just a few minutes prior. "There isn't much left of mine." Her head then looks up, scanning the room. It was nearly identical to yours in every way, barring the inclusion of a standing mirror in the corner. "This is… too much."
"I thought the same about Raiga's," you admit. "But I didn't have much of a choice there either. It's better than being homeless, and Illya is friendly."
"How do you know that?" Sakura asks, sounding more curious than accusatory. "You've only just met her."
You frown, wondering how to say this properly. "She's…" you sigh. "She's different, but she's helped me. Without getting anything in return really. She could have easily killed me whenever she wanted, on multiple occasions. If she was truly an enemy master, I wouldn't still be here right now."
"That… seems…"
"Don't worry about it," you say tiredly. "I get enough about my failings from Me- Caster. She's quicker than Mister Kuzuki is at pointing out mistakes."
… Speaking of which he was in that building, you aren't sure why and frankly you are afraid to find out. You hadn't been to school in so long that for all you know it had turned into a madhouse. Or, at least, as mad as the rest of Fuyuki was at this point.
"She's teaching you magic, right?"
"A bit… it's mostly Circe however. I can ask her to help you if you want." You say.
Sakura nods her head, then leans it back against you. She squirms a bit, pushing herself closer to you. "You're all I have left Shirou… I want to help."
You open your mouth to respond, but any response you have dies in your throat as she turns herself slowly around. Her eyes were… lidded slightly, and she was panting again. A fierce blush had overtaken her now as her hands press against your knees.
"Sakura, are you alr-"
She darts forward, her mouth capturing your own. You grunt in surprise, then fall back to the floor. Sakura goes with you, her lips never leaving your own. She molds herself against you, her legs tangling around yours, her hands now pressing against your shoulder. She removes herself a good twenty seconds later, her blush brighter than ever, her breath hot and heavy. "I'm sorry Shirou… I'm sorry… but I can't hold it back anymore."
And… you smelled something… something strange as she began to lean down again. Ever since Sakura had been staying with you outside her own house you had been starting to smell her magic more. A light scent, like… iron flowers. It wasn't a scent per se, most magic didn't rely on the 'senses'. But it was the detection of things unusual, anything different than normal. And now you smelled… you didn't know what it was. But it was rotting.
But Sakura pressed against you, still babbling apologies, tears flowing freely from her eyes as she held you against her. "I love you Shirou, you don't deserve someone as filthy as me…" She leans back, hands moving to her jacket. She grinds herself against you, crotch rubbing against crotch. "I'm sorry."
—
[] [You aren't filthy Sakura]
You never would be, this was moving too quickly, but if she needed the comfort, you weren't going to argue.
[] [Push her off]
This was going quickly, far too quickly.
[] [Call Medea]
Something was odd about this, she turned around too quickly. You tried to improve her mood, but this?
[] [Write-in]
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