So what if it is trauma? Unless you are going to say that it can be fixed, or healed as if it had never been, it's still going to be a core part of who she is, and why she does what she does.
The reason she is in the sect is the same reason as drives her cultivation is the same reason she has a goal in life is the same reason she hates her tails.
So what is her way? Is it to become more like her mother, in the hopes of catching up and surpassing her with the bloodline arts? No! It is rejection of the spirit part of herself, becoming more human in location and friends and self.
Power is not the be-all end-all for all cultivators. I think our foxgirl is more like the radiant serpent of the side stories than the white serpent of peerless power.
[X] If Su Ling truly desired to rid herself of her mother's traits, so be it. She hoped Su Ling would be careful and seek advice and help if she was going to undertake such a project though.