Omake: If only lightning was as fast as deadlines.
Tap tap tap.
The pen rapped a consistent rhythm across the table. The room had seen better days. An old
interrogation cell that had been requisitioned for bureaucratic purposes as a cheep alternative to
the costs that a secure extension to the intelligence facilities would cost.
It certainly showed. Besides the rickety table a bare flickering light bulb the rooms only illumination,
but time was of the essence and needs must. This was a sacrifice his country was willing to make after all.
"Alright let's start from the top again. Konohagakure. The Leaf has taken some hits recently, but despite recent losses remain of paramount importance to cloud and it's defense of the land of lightning. We have already gone over the old Konoha
personnel
to death. I probably know more about Konaha's senior leadership then I do my own kids, so I won't waste your time with that.
Furthermore an in depth analysis of the death of the 3rd hokage and damage from the invasion will
have to wait pending a more in depth info gathering."
The speaker was well seen despite the inconsistent lighting. His features revealed by embers of his
half smoked cigarette. His hair was greying at the temples and his face lined. All products of a life of
stress and service having prematurely aged him. Still he had the look of a man grimly determined to get on with it.
"Instead we shall be looking at some of the surprises to come out of recent events. Such chaos
tends to push the up and comers into the lime light" The old jonin raised a device and with the hit
of a button a projector sprang to life. The grain footage showing what to the uninformed might mistake as the elemental nations latest block buster. To the men in the room it was a rare
recording of an enemy in action. As the video of the three girls climatic fight drew to a close only to
repeat a snort brought the attention back to the room.
"Sage's tits man. I swear they pump out even more over bred super soldiers every year.
Where do they even find these kids man. I mean we damn near depopulated the place after they pretty much picked a fight with almost literally everybody in the 3rd war. What's it going to take to get these fuckers to chill already." The three figures sat across from the old hand was a colorful group to say the least. The one to have marked himself out by his irreverence was clad in the mask and stereotypical operations uniform common amongst the deniable assets of the great villages. A practice he was assured was subtle by way of being uniformly unsubtle whatever that meant. Now one might feel that being an irreverent loud mouth was a terrible trait in a black ops agent, but in the seemingly young mans defense they had all forgotten he was there until he spoke.
There was frustrated mumbles of agreement to this statement despite themselves. They in intelligence knew better then anyone just how mean Konoha got when you put them up against a wall.
"Alright then I guess I'll start then." The cheerful voice of the 2nd expert spoke up.
Now this man would never be mistaken for a ninja. In fact one might upon seeing him think him to
be an average accountant one of many across the nations if one with curly brown hair, a taste for
green and gold vests, and boxes of a confection he called doughnuts. Still looks can be deceiving and not all ways of serving your country involved infiltration in the dead of night.
"The one with the purple black hair is one Uchiha Hisana. De facto head of the Uchiha clan. In
technicality she shares this position with her relation and teammate Sasuke the previous clan heads
son. Despite this de jure state of affairs he shows little interest or talent for such things leaving
much of the work to our subject. Despite the enormity such duties would entail she has managed
the Uchiha portion of the village with much aplomb for a child her age. More impressive
considering the fervor she pursues her ninja career with. A known workaholic I have little doubt she
will die of stress before the esteemed members of this meeting." the chubby man tilt his head with
a demure smile at his joke. "Still this has granted her excellent skills for her age. One of our
merchants had been in Konoha for us in order to observe the chunin exams. A more in depth report
has been filed for those with the proper clearance, but for the purposes of this discussion we shall
keep it brief. She was well scoring in the knowledge exam and managed the survival test while
enlisting others to her cause. Her performance in the public portion was more then sufficient for a
chunin, but it is clear that the majority of her talent would have gone unnoticed if not for the
following invasion. Here she proved her skills taking out many of the oto elites." At this point
everyone flinched at the reappearance of the masked nin.
"Yeah we keep better watch of Konoha missing nin then Konoha. In fact the betting pool is going to be so disappointed when they find out this wasn't some shadow op by Konoha in order to create secretly loyal deniable assets. the look on their faces shall be hilarious."
"You wear masks." the committee head commented.
"Never stopped us before. Anyway yeah that Kaguya guy bad news. bastards broken as hell, and the
rest of Orochimaru's lab experiments aren't bad either. Have to give her an A for effort here."
" Quite." the chief analyst replied having used the interruption to finish a doughnut. "Overall in summery she is a well rounded individual speaking well for her chances of jonin if it wasn't for a crippling lack of experience. Her skill in kenjutsu, seal less ninjutsu, Seals, and sheer chakra allow her to fight at the level of most jonins with favorable results. Her speed... is beyond the norm. Most jonin will need some sort of advantage to off set the likely lack of parity on this front." Pursing his lips as his eyes go distant focusing his mind on the battle ahead. "Her relative weakness in taijutsu and genjutsu are not exploitable to the level to be used by an unspecialized force in the field."
The man settles his weight as he leans back in his chair. "... Recommended forces to fight her is three jonin in order to maximize chances of zero losses. In the context of her team as a whole it is my opinion that Genin Team Seven be branded as a strategic threat in case of war."
The chairman let a scowl cross his grizzled face, but flipped his tapping pen to record the necessary details of the threat and the appropriate files to use to complete the bingo entry. "Noted. Next?"
"We have had previous experience with the next subject before." commented the third advisor.
The man to his far right affected the air of a doctor his white coat immaculate. He was what the chairman would call the most normal looking of the three, but the effect was ruined by his wild hair and a mix of cold calculation and insanity in his electric blue eyes that even ninja found hard to acquire.
" Ah right! I remember my sempais talking about this when I was in training! Don't worry I got this!" Mask said. His obvious excitement prompting a brief hustle to check their snacks to see if he'd poisoned them when they weren't looking. "Okay Hyuuga Hinata. Heir to the old white eyes. About 8 years back we had been running a bit of an operation to put some pressure on Konoha after the forth died. Was hoping to provoke Konoha into declaring war on us then enlisting the others to pile in on them. Didn't happen that way, but what we got wasn't bad." The man shrugged.
"Basic plan was to kidnap the kid and bring her to join the village and when they retaliate blame them for breaking the truce. After all everybody knows Konoha got up to shady black ops all the time during the war, and if they backed down the Hyuuga would probably start shit with the rest of them and leave them open for a surprise attack." Mask again shrugged. "Didn't turn out that way, but they ended up showing so much weakness we got a ton of the mission cut anyway. So all's well that ends well!"
Mask nodded in affirmation of his own comment. "So the girl. She's pretty good at her families arts, but no master. Although that sure as fuck isn't from lack of trying. Her family Pretty much beat it into her. Honestly wonder if she wouldn't have preferred to have come here. Pretty nice place if I do say so myself. I'd say it's because she's the shyest bird I ever did see, but I'll be honest I can't tell the difference between those and the quiet obsessed stalker type. So I'll get back to you on that after I've hazed one of my kohais by sending him to ask her out. If he can survive bad romance decisions he'll survive basic training just as well!" the chairman responded to this by exhaling his smoke. He most certainly didn't aim it at his subordinates face. "If I had to say one thing about her it's that she unlike her family is willing to improvise. She's modified the gentle fist and made it her own, and learned first aid. She's even willing to contemplate learning elemental jutsu! It's that flexable but unbroken nature of hers that will make her dangerous. Still she isn't hot enough to be in this book. Give her a few years."
Tap tap tap.
The Chairman was beginning to become impatient with his subordinates pace and method of completing this bingo book.
The Doctor was unknowingly prompt to his unspoken command. "I must agree with my associate about the ability of Konoha to produce bloodlines from nowhere. It's getting so bad that not only are they ignoring their own losses from their near destruction in the third war, but also the concerted efforts of the 2nd. Uzumaki Karin appears to have inherited her blood line to an unusually strong degree considering the circumstances of the villages destruction. Only the unimportant would have likely been able to flee. Until recently she has been a genin of kusagakure, but after the circumstances in the forest of death joined Konoha. Very Little is understood about what happened in the forest. If we are considered to be in need to know you will be contacted. There shall be no further questions about this." The Mask took the opportunity to snicker. The Doctor continued ignoring him. "She fights very much like an Uzumaki. Much of her fighting style is enhanced by these traits. She has a blend of ranged and close quarters options and has recently began learning strong fist. This makes her a dangerous combatant, but it is the opinion of my department that she should be captured alive if possible despite the difficulty."
"Hey man the last one somehow died in the middle of Konoha, and this one isn't even half as bad. Hope springs eternal man!" The Mask assured him.
Tap tap SNAP
Ok that was it! He was tired of his subordinates inability to condense this drivel into time efficient conveying of information in Bingo book format. Didn't they know they had no time! If they didn't finish soon he'd be getting a visit from...
All of a sudden a feeling like a creature loomed over him like some terrible creature had pulled it self from the dark inky depths and had come to ambush him. He turned his head to look over his shoulder. Speak of the devil and he shall appear.
"Yo yo yo my man what's up I am in the house. Sup fan. you are looking a little morose. Is my bingo ready to go on the down low?" The larger then life dreadlocked man with the permanent tan. belted out a rap.
"Ah B sama. Due to all the recent events it's taking us a little longer then usual" The chairman gulped hoping his for current purposes boss wasn't going to be too angry.
"Nah fam pick up the speed of the band. It's speed that makes a real man. If you want be killa on the mike don't be like Iwa right. Anyway be back soon. Cause baby make me swoon. Peace out ya'll." And like a whirlwind he was gone.
"fuck."
The chairman picked up another pencil.
Tap tap tap.
"Alright next up is the on going dumpster fire that is the bloody mist. That has somehow gotten even worse. Even worse it appears to be that Konoha is involved via a mission including the young miss Hyuuga"
The three simultaneously grin like he'd promised to pay their bills this month, and lean forward excitedly.
"I'm getting to old for this shit."
AN: well that took me hours. It's bee years since I've done an omake so If you see some stuff wrong call me on it, but keep it in mind if it sucks.
Edit: Some basic edits. Because I avoided a recount of service history I never got around to the Analyst saying he just straight up bought the extended cut. Also missed out on the Chairman bemoaning how he knew that maintaining the strongest military required being spare with funds but the least they could give him for putting up with these guys was a proper desk. Don't know if anyone noticed, but that was his final pen too.