- Location
- United Kingdom
[X] Deal with him before the campaign with Sandor and Oberyn
-[X] Kill
-[X] Kill
A Sword Without a Hilt: A Song of Ice and Fire/D&D 3.5 Crossover
- Thread starter DragonParadox
- Start date
-
- Tags
- a song of ice and fire a sword without a hilt d&d 3.5 dungeons & dragons 100% high octane dragon fuel ave corvidae battle action dragon diplomacy best sister bureaucromancy delicious soul-stuff dragon dreams come true dragon ta'veren greatest uncle hubris is a coward's word in defiance of gods and men mammon's folly mutually assured mage's disjunction qm murderhobo top tier coatl
Goldfish
Friendly Spider-Fish Abomination
- Location
- Formerly of the Far Realm
Yeah, we can spare that much without any issue. I want to use most of the rest for upgrades for Maelor and Bronn. They deserve some pretty things.
[X] Azel
- Location
- Germany
[X] Once Sandor is decanted, present him with the prototype Warden-Pattern Power Armor refitted for his new stature.
-[X] His first assignment, together with Oberyn, will be to kill his brother.
-[X] Oberyn will be loaned the Composite Armor for this missions.
My only regret is Sandor won't beat Gregor to death by using Lorch as a blunt instrument.
-[X] His first assignment, together with Oberyn, will be to kill his brother.
-[X] Oberyn will be loaned the Composite Armor for this missions.
My only regret is Sandor won't beat Gregor to death by using Lorch as a blunt instrument.
- Location
- Texas
- Pronouns
- He/Him
[X] Azel
- Location
- United States
[X] Azel
Ace of Scarabs
Mechanoid Pilot
- Location
- Singapore
[X] Azel
- Location
- ?????????
[X] Azel
Omake: In the Council
CandyCoatedChaos
Evil is just misunderstood
- Location
- You'd never be able to guess, eh?
Fun little omake.
Small council chambers, Red Keep.
A large meaty fist slams down on the table, of those present only the elderly Grand Maester flinches at the rage wafting off the King.
"You are telling me the damn dragonspawn will invade shortly, you are telling me he is behind Littlefingers death." Again a meaty fist slams into the table scattering maps and spilling wine. "What the fuck use are you useless lot if you can't tell me why we only know now!" Robert Baratehon roars.
The master of magic Kevan Lannister eyes the spilled wine and ruined maps with cool disregard. "Things are not easily divined from the east, be thankful we knew enough to call the banners ahead of time your grace."
Robert sneers at the Lannister, " Something you all did by yourselves without informing your king. Treason I smell in here." He spits to the side before giving a frustrated snort and sitting back down. "Well, let me hear it then."
Pycelle winces, a shaky hand resting on top of the responses ravens all across the land had brought back. "Mayhap this news is best shared once its all been thoroughly checked Your grace. Perhaps after supper?"
Before the king can erupt over the excuse the smooth voice of the master of whispers interjects. "Now Grand Maester what could be more important then news of the banners, surely no time can be lost lest we allow the dragon to get ahead of us?"
Pycelle glares at the eunuch although without much real heat, surely not even the master of whispers knows how bad the news are for the king. At least I picked the right king...
"Well, I have recieved replies from most of the realm. Heartening to see such quick reaponses." Pycelle starts weakly.
"I AM NOT IN THE MOOD FOR YOUR SIMPERING PYCELLE!" The king roars getting wary looks from the members of the small council, if one looked closely there was hidden amusement behind the fake wariness of the master of whispers.
"When can we expect the Redwyne fleet to link up with the Royal fleet and the Lannister fleet." The master of ships asks eager to escape the wrath of the steaming king.
Pycelle wets his lips looking around helplessly for anyone to take this task from him, he finds no sympathy. "They, uh, send their regrets that... They will be heading for King's Landing flying the dragon banner."
"What. Did. You. Say?" The king bites out as the master of ships sits back in his chair white as a sheet.
With the look of a man heading for the gallows Pycelle continues on, sweating heavily. " Also the Tyrells sent a raven apologising they can not raise their banners as they did not recieve the raven asking them to, they claim it must have been lost on the way..." Pycelle trails off disbelievingly as he double check what Mace Tyrell had sent.
The kings rage slows to a simmer as he tries to process the thinking behind sending such a letter. "Continue.." He orders resolving to hear all the news before starting to bash in the heads of lord paramounts.
"What of the north, surely Eddard Stark is raising his banners." Varys inquires with a polite smile.
The king snorts, "Of course he is, your lack of balls must have finally addled your brains spider."
"Lord Stark sends his regrets... It seems that most of the northern lords are refusing to go south, he will not be able to raise any banners." Pycelle says slowly.
The king sags in his seat mumbling to himself in shock as Kevan Lannister swears loudly. "What of the Vale? Riverlands?"
" The Vale says that the mountain clans are acting up and they can not afford to send anyone." Pycelle answers reluctantly one eye on the despondent king. " From the Riverlands Hoster Tully sent a positive reply..."
"At least there is that...What?" Kevan asks seeing the Grand Maesters look.
"While the Tully's are loyal, we recieved replies from the Freys and most lords of the Riverlands that profoundly stated that Hoster Tully could only count on his own men for the stag..."
"By the seven...What of the Iron islands?" The master of ships gasps, still white as a sheet and grasping for straws if the looks he receives from Kevan Lannister and Varys are to tell.
"Just a few words... I will enjoy this. It is all the letter says." Pycelle winces.
"Stannis!" The king suddenly stands up waking from his stupor. "With the stormlands added to our forces we stand a chance!"
Pycelle picks up the letter from Stannis Baratheon, one he had yet to read as the answer was a surety, Stannis epitomized duty.
He drops the letter like it was on fire as soon as he sees its content. "He...He says he will be busy washing his hair!"
"Speak sense you doddering old fool!" Robert snarls.
"He says he can not join up the Stormlands with your armies as he and his bannermen are washing their hair that day..."
"What." The king says blankly.
Varys grabs the fallen letter and looks at it with a now no longer hidden smile. "Well your grace it appears Stannis is standing you up."
"What."
"This is really bad, only the Lannisters and whatever scattered crownlanders and Riverlanders on our side!" The master of ships whimpers.
"What..." The king states again blandly with unseeing eyes.
"Great... He is now even more useless." Kevan says putting his head in his hands despairingly.
"Weather is nice today though." Varys chirps.
Small council chambers, Red Keep.
A large meaty fist slams down on the table, of those present only the elderly Grand Maester flinches at the rage wafting off the King.
"You are telling me the damn dragonspawn will invade shortly, you are telling me he is behind Littlefingers death." Again a meaty fist slams into the table scattering maps and spilling wine. "What the fuck use are you useless lot if you can't tell me why we only know now!" Robert Baratehon roars.
The master of magic Kevan Lannister eyes the spilled wine and ruined maps with cool disregard. "Things are not easily divined from the east, be thankful we knew enough to call the banners ahead of time your grace."
Robert sneers at the Lannister, " Something you all did by yourselves without informing your king. Treason I smell in here." He spits to the side before giving a frustrated snort and sitting back down. "Well, let me hear it then."
Pycelle winces, a shaky hand resting on top of the responses ravens all across the land had brought back. "Mayhap this news is best shared once its all been thoroughly checked Your grace. Perhaps after supper?"
Before the king can erupt over the excuse the smooth voice of the master of whispers interjects. "Now Grand Maester what could be more important then news of the banners, surely no time can be lost lest we allow the dragon to get ahead of us?"
Pycelle glares at the eunuch although without much real heat, surely not even the master of whispers knows how bad the news are for the king. At least I picked the right king...
"Well, I have recieved replies from most of the realm. Heartening to see such quick reaponses." Pycelle starts weakly.
"I AM NOT IN THE MOOD FOR YOUR SIMPERING PYCELLE!" The king roars getting wary looks from the members of the small council, if one looked closely there was hidden amusement behind the fake wariness of the master of whispers.
"When can we expect the Redwyne fleet to link up with the Royal fleet and the Lannister fleet." The master of ships asks eager to escape the wrath of the steaming king.
Pycelle wets his lips looking around helplessly for anyone to take this task from him, he finds no sympathy. "They, uh, send their regrets that... They will be heading for King's Landing flying the dragon banner."
"What. Did. You. Say?" The king bites out as the master of ships sits back in his chair white as a sheet.
With the look of a man heading for the gallows Pycelle continues on, sweating heavily. " Also the Tyrells sent a raven apologising they can not raise their banners as they did not recieve the raven asking them to, they claim it must have been lost on the way..." Pycelle trails off disbelievingly as he double check what Mace Tyrell had sent.
The kings rage slows to a simmer as he tries to process the thinking behind sending such a letter. "Continue.." He orders resolving to hear all the news before starting to bash in the heads of lord paramounts.
"What of the north, surely Eddard Stark is raising his banners." Varys inquires with a polite smile.
The king snorts, "Of course he is, your lack of balls must have finally addled your brains spider."
"Lord Stark sends his regrets... It seems that most of the northern lords are refusing to go south, he will not be able to raise any banners." Pycelle says slowly.
The king sags in his seat mumbling to himself in shock as Kevan Lannister swears loudly. "What of the Vale? Riverlands?"
" The Vale says that the mountain clans are acting up and they can not afford to send anyone." Pycelle answers reluctantly one eye on the despondent king. " From the Riverlands Hoster Tully sent a positive reply..."
"At least there is that...What?" Kevan asks seeing the Grand Maesters look.
"While the Tully's are loyal, we recieved replies from the Freys and most lords of the Riverlands that profoundly stated that Hoster Tully could only count on his own men for the stag..."
"By the seven...What of the Iron islands?" The master of ships gasps, still white as a sheet and grasping for straws if the looks he receives from Kevan Lannister and Varys are to tell.
"Just a few words... I will enjoy this. It is all the letter says." Pycelle winces.
"Stannis!" The king suddenly stands up waking from his stupor. "With the stormlands added to our forces we stand a chance!"
Pycelle picks up the letter from Stannis Baratheon, one he had yet to read as the answer was a surety, Stannis epitomized duty.
He drops the letter like it was on fire as soon as he sees its content. "He...He says he will be busy washing his hair!"
"Speak sense you doddering old fool!" Robert snarls.
"He says he can not join up the Stormlands with your armies as he and his bannermen are washing their hair that day..."
"What." The king says blankly.
Varys grabs the fallen letter and looks at it with a now no longer hidden smile. "Well your grace it appears Stannis is standing you up."
"What."
"This is really bad, only the Lannisters and whatever scattered crownlanders and Riverlanders on our side!" The master of ships whimpers.
"What..." The king states again blandly with unseeing eyes.
"Great... He is now even more useless." Kevan says putting his head in his hands despairingly.
"Weather is nice today though." Varys chirps.
Fun omake @CandyCoatedChaos. The idea of Stannis of all people sending a letter saying he's buys washing his hair is hilarious.
Crake
I AM THE STORM THAT IS APPROACHING
- Location
- USA
Kevan: "Enough with your delays! Answer if you'll come to court as friend or foe."
Stannis' letter: Neither.
Kevan's next letter: "You are advised to submit without further delay, for if I bring my army into your land, I will destroy your farms, slay your people, and siege your castle."
Stannis again:
Stannis' letter: Neither.
Kevan's next letter: "You are advised to submit without further delay, for if I bring my army into your land, I will destroy your farms, slay your people, and siege your castle."
Stannis again:
CandyCoatedChaos
Evil is just misunderstood
- Location
- You'd never be able to guess, eh?
As much as Robert treats Stannis like crap I think he might actually have a heart attack if he found out that Stannis of all people has turned on him.
I mean to only have the Lannisters as allies... Who the enemy has been stopping from killing you this entire time... I mean we are doing him a favour killing him at this point.
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Evaunit02mark1
S-s-smell the Prey, S-s-start the Hunt.
[X] Deal with him before the campaign with Sandor and Oberyn
-[X] Kill
You say murder I say bonding moment.
-[X] Kill
You say murder I say bonding moment.
- Location
- Germany
I'm pretty sure that Robert is right now pretty busy oscillating between aimless rage and deep depression and doesn't really pays much attention to anything.
His father figure died last month.
The brother he likes has disappeared.
The brother he takes for granted keeps him at arms length.
The only allies he has are his harridan of a wife and her family.
He can't go to see his only friend up North.
And now his useless Master of Whatever was murdered and everyone is in a panic, getting on his nerves and being useless.
His father figure died last month.
The brother he likes has disappeared.
The brother he takes for granted keeps him at arms length.
The only allies he has are his harridan of a wife and her family.
He can't go to see his only friend up North.
And now his useless Master of Whatever was murdered and everyone is in a panic, getting on his nerves and being useless.
- Location
- United States
Robert's life is a genuine tragedy at this point. May he have better luck in the next life.
CandyCoatedChaos
Evil is just misunderstood
- Location
- You'd never be able to guess, eh?
Him and Jon Arryn can hang out again in the sevens realm and at least feel safe in the knowledge they won't have to deal with anymore fucking Lannisters.
Well he he can survive the River of Souls, though granted he has a better chance than most.
Annatar
Lord of Gifts
- Location
- Pittsburgh
- Pronouns
- He/Him/They/Them
It would be funny if he somehow became a celestial of some kind.
Imagine begging your God to send down an angel to protect you or smite some great evil, and you get one who's drunk off his ass, flirts with anything that could conceivably called female and smashes shit with a big ass hammer.
The adventures of Bobby B the Archon would be a funny omakes series...
Vote closed.
- Location
- ferreries
Really? Why?
CandyCoatedChaos
Evil is just misunderstood
- Location
- You'd never be able to guess, eh?
I am just thankful that even if any of our enemies grabs his soul for something, to use as a weapon against us... It will be pretty damn useless as we hardly give a damn about him and his best skills now lay in eating a whole pig on his own.
Why is it dangerous or why is Robert more likely to endure?
The first because it's broken and there are fiends fishing in it, the second because he is Robert Baratheon. Cut away the fat and sorrows of kingship, give him a soul-stealing monster to fight with his bare hands and he is quite likely to tear it apart.
Annatar
Lord of Gifts
- Location
- Pittsburgh
- Pronouns
- He/Him/They/Them
Many forget that despite his absolutely ineptitude at rulership, and the years of terrible self-care, Robert Baratheon was a supreme badass.
He didn't get the title "Demon of the Trident" for nothing, he broke Rhaegar like a twig and if given the opportunity to fight in his prime with all the gear he has now, he might actually be a serious threat to one or more of our Companions.
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