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A Sword Without a Hilt: A Song of Ice and Fire/D&D 3.5 Crossover

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Angelazreal1 said:
There are times when I wish DP would show us what's going on in Roberts court. Then I remember what kind of a king Robert is and I realize there's probably not much. Any real move that would be made against us would probably come from Tywin. Robert does the minimal amount of ruling, Cersi is a shrew, and the kids are kids.
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Just like with Aerys, Tywin really is effectively the king. Robert is just a useful figurehead.
 
Very nice omake @Crake. I always did have a weakness for writing that humanized Joffrey. He is pretty terrible in canon yes, but one of the things GRRM got right that a lot of fan-fic authors miss is the fundamental humanity of the character. He is not some 2D evil cut-out, but a person whose actions always remain understandable, even when there can no longer be any sympathy for him.

As for Joffrey right now, well he's a child and yes more than a bit sympathetic.
 
I mean, Joffrey is a shit, but let remenber he was not so far from Viserys in that regard.

And look us now we are good......kinda.....sort....off.
 
Azel said:
Viserys: "You can be whatever you want! The sky is the limit!"

Ramsay & Joffrey: *nod eagerly*
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Both are unrepentant murderers with sins that reached the base of a mountain.

Both of them are bastards from their original family.

Both came from the family line that disobeyed their liege.

Hmmm...

@Azel, would you be aversed to employ the soon-to-be former Prince as our asset? Provided that he proves to be actually useful?
 
Azel said:
Viserys: "You can be whatever you want! The sky is the limit!"

Ramsay & Joffrey: *nod eagerly*
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Viserys: "Of course, that doesn't mean I won't kill you dead or feed you to one of my divine buddies if you offend my sensibilities."

R & J: "...."

Viserys: "So whenever you are about to make any decision which may seem to run counter to commonly accepted social mores, I want you to think to yourself 'What Would Viserys Do To Me If I Get Caught?'. Before you go, we should also visit one of my more eccentric vassals. Elaheh is always looking for more test subjects..."
 
Goldfish said:
Viserys: "Of course, that doesn't mean I won't kill you dead or feed you to one of my divine buddies if you offend my sensibilities."

R & J: "...."

Viserys: "So whenever you are about to make any decision which may seem to run counter to commonly accepted social mores, I want you to think to yourself 'What Would Viserys Do To Me If I Get Caught?'. Before you go, we should also visit one of my more eccentric vassals. Elaheh is always looking for more test subjects..."
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I already have enough Elaheh omakes to write without her sewing Ramsay and Joffrey together into some bastardization of the natural order. Thank you very much.
 
Goldfish said:
Okay, due to popular demand, I'll include one of the rings for her on the order.
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Jeyne: "It does what?"

Viserys: "Roughly make you twice as powerful for half as much effort, at least until it runs out for the day. There is a limit on the ring... the equivalent of a sorcerer of the second circle, I suppose? But anything up to that is fair game."

Jeyne, blinking, suddenly worried about even scratching the thing: "And... you said it was worth how much?"

Viserys: "Roughly eight thousand marks."

Jeyne, faintly: "Eight thousand?"

Viserys: "Yes, before the mark up.

Jeyne, looking pretty pale: "Mark up?"

Viserys: "Yes, something like two thirds as much more than usual market price? There wasn't much point in getting the more advanced version for you just yet. Don't worry, we can make it twice as strong later on, it was only another twenty thousand or so to upgrade it, give or take... probably give, to be honest."

Viserys: "Lady Jeyne? Are you alright? What's wrong?!"

...

Jeyne: "And... you said it was worth how much?"

Viserys, after thinking about her question a bit more: "Don't worry about it."

Jeyne: "But you said..."

Viserys: "Really, don't worry about it."
 
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Crake said:
They wandered over and after cooling down Uncle Jaime knelt to look Joffrey in the eye, "You have trouble learning like everyone else, right?" Joffrey scowled at the accusation, it wasn't like it was a lie, but that didn't make Joffrey wrong, did it? Maybe everyone else was going about it all wrong. He wasn't stupid!

His uncle gave him that look, the smirk coming back, "Would you believe me if I told you I never quite got reading and writing on my own, either?"
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My first thought was "Wait, Jaime is an inbred too?" to explain the stupidity. I feel like a bad person now.
 
Hmm, remind me again what's our policy regarding Incest in our Empire? Provided they aren't of Old Gods faith.

Because I'm sure that some people (Volantene, mainly) would probably still emulate the ancient Valyrian practice.
 
Azel said:
Said dragonblood is probably the only reason Viserys has the correct number of thumbs for a human.
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Dragonblood is easily one of the oddest genetic components of D&D. Dragons can breed with damn near anything and somehow make it work. I'm not surprised the blood serves as some sort of mild buffer against the bad effects of incest.
Jack vile Ripper said:
Hmm, remind me again what's our policy regarding Incest in our Empire? Provided they aren't of Old Gods faith.

Because I'm sure that some people (Volantene, mainly) would probably still emulate the ancient Valyrian practice.
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It's legal. If we made it illegal we'd have to negotiate with the Old Blood of Volantis who go at it old school Valyrian style. Also it'd be OOC for Viserys to ban it considering he personally has no issue with it.

The Old Gods (and probably other gods) aren't fans, but they're not in charge, they're just allies.
 
Viserys sees nothing wrong with incest seeing as how it was the least messed up thing about his family tree... which is saying a lot.
 
Crake said:
Viserys sees nothing wrong with incest seeing as how it was the least messed up thing about his family tree... which is saying a lot.
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He doesn't see it as messed up at all is the thing. Other people are uncomfortable with it, but he sees no issue.
DragonParadox said:
Something that bares mentioning is that Viserys IC is not against incest in principle. He just does not feel that way about Dany for reasons ranging from the age difference to the pseudo-parental role he was pushed into by circumstance. If two of his very hypothetical offspring decided to follow the family tradition he would see nothing wrong with that.
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He's okay enough with it that if his own children decided to do it he'd support them.
 
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