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A Sword Without a Hilt: A Song of Ice and Fire/D&D 3.5 Crossover

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I'm kind of fond of him for it. He's like Azel's advocate.

Or rather adversary.

Which is doubly ironic a comparison. :V
 
"ARRRRR MATEY, BEHOLD MY SECRET TECHNIQUE!"
Adhoc vote count started by Crake on Mar 7, 2018 at 7:22 AM, finished with 162463 posts and 7 votes.
  • [X] Plan Accidentally A City
    -[X] Port to SD. Tell everyone that we are mobilising right now. The Shadow Tower and the Legion are to be prepared for deployment.
    -[X] Take Xor, Garin and Tyene along. Also the Iron Golems.
    -[X] Dany, Garin and Tyene will accompany our guest to the hidden market of Lys to gather intel. Bribe her well if necessary and offer her a job.
    -[X] Viserys and Lya inspect the Fleshforge.
    -[X] Xor, guarded by the rest, errects a curtain wall around the tree as a staging area.
    -[X] Once everyone is back, prepare to cast all the divinations.
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Duesal said:
Accidentally conquered Mantarys in one day.
Accidentally conquered Westhaven in one night.
Accidentally conquered Lys when we actually meant to conquer Tyrosh and have been extensively planning to do so.

Sounds legit. :rolleyes:
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SV: It might not be the place we intended to conquer after months of planning but we're here and armed so we might as well do it anyway.
 
Once everyone is back, we fire a few divinations, hold a Grand Speech to the arriving sellswords, burn the avatar of Burny and then go for a decapitation strike against Lys leadership.

Old Gods dammit. :facepalm:
We just wanted to do some gardening.
 
Azel said:
Once everyone is back, we fire a few divinations, hold a Grand Speech to the arriving sellswords, burn the avatar of Burny and then go for a decapitation strike against Lys leadership.

Old Gods dammit. :facepalm:
We just wanted to do some gardening.
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Eh, I'm not too burned up about this. I'm counting on Tyrosh doing something exceedingly stupid in the wake of this and forcing us to go in with a full murder/sacrifice-capture team very soon. This just means more trees for us.
 
Lyseni magister/slaver #1: By all accounts, that damned slave-lover of a dragonlord plans to invade Tyrosh first, so we're safe... for now.
Lyseni magister/slaver #2: Yes, let those fork-bearded painted fools enjoy his attentions...
Slave #41248: I hate my life...
Lyseni magister/slaver #3: *out of breath* There's this damned tree that's just popped out of nowhere and soldiers bedecked in the Black and Red all afoot! We're fucked!
Lyseni magister/slaver #1 and 2: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Slave #41248: *keks*
 
Azel said:
Once everyone is back, we fire a few divinations, hold a Grand Speech to the arriving sellswords, burn the avatar of Burny and then go for a decapitation strike against Lys leadership.

Old Gods dammit. :facepalm:
We just wanted to do some gardening.
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Viserys: "How do you feel about the word... and this is just hypothetically speaking... "conquest"?
Dany: "I felt a strong twinge in my chest. Are you going to do it with their own blades?"
Viserys: "I'm just... so proud of you, right now."
Dany: "Oh, hush."
Lya & Waymar: Wait--RIGHT now?! But what about--
Richard: *sigh* The things I do for Duty.

Elsewhere...

Rhaella: They what?!
*faints*
 
Duesal said:
Eh, I'm not too burned up about this. I'm counting on Tyrosh doing something exceedingly stupid in the wake of this and forcing us to go in with a full murder/sacrifice-capture team very soon. This just means more trees for us.
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I'm expecting them to go into a panic and attack Westhaven while we are "distracted". Which neatly solves the lack of a Casus Bellu on our side and means that a good deal of their military power is shark fodder.
 
Oh right, Rhaella...

Should we tell her about his when we go back?

Also our junior-adventurers are currently on a mission, kinda bad time for this.
 
Azel said:
I'm expecting them to go into a panic and attack Westhaven while we are "distracted". Which neatly solves the lack of a Casus Bellu on our side and means that a good deal of their military power is shark fodder.
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I welcome that eventuality. Bring it on, Tyrosh, you won't stand a freaking chance. And being attacked by a foreign power should only serve to make our citizens even more fervently patriotic. Our empire is coming along nicely indeed...
 
Valaena: They what?!

...

Valaena: Sorry, don't have time to faint. Battling monsters. Call back!

Elsewhere...

Moonsong: They didn't invite me?! *frothing*
Theon: Oh. Oh dear.
Moonsong: Helm! Turn the ship around!
Helmsman: N-now?
Moonsong: NOW!
 
Artemis1992 said:
Oh right, Rhaella...

Should we tell her about his when we go back?

Also our junior-adventurers are currently on a mission, kinda bad time for this.
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We can use the Shadow Tower now, which massively changes the calculus. Furthermore, Lys isn't nearly as defensible as the former military post Tyrosh.

It's regrettable, but their chances for Glory will come soon.
 
egoo said:
...Can we loot the tree?
T_T
I'm getting ready to salt, this isn't what I expected to get out of this quest.
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Just noticed this. @egoo, seriously, we already have the absolute best tree we could possibly hope for in Sorcerer's Deep. Weirwoods are sized according to how powerful they are--Landwarden powering the tree in Lys--or by how old they are--see tree in Winterfell.

We have a petrified weirwood from the Dawn Age. There isn't anything else that will match its size or power once we revive it. We've already got the best weirwood.
 
You know what the best part of all this is?

In the most ironic way, this is the most secure conquering plan we could have ever come up with.

No quantum ciphers, no dice rolling, no divination wards, no 15 step plans that involve secret ballots and memory wipes.

Nope, simple, fucking, chance.

No one could have foreseen it because we didn't even know we wanted to do it until right this moment.

It's the ultimate fake out, cause we did it to our goddamn selves.
 
Duesal said:
Just noticed this. @egoo, seriously, we already have the absolute best tree we could possibly hope for in Sorcerer's Deep. Weirwoods are sized according to how powerful they are--Landwarden powering the tree in Lys--or by how old they are--see tree in Winterfell.

We have a petrified weirwood from the Dawn Age. There isn't anything else that will match its size or power once we revive it. We've already got the best weirwood.
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I don't think that tree will grow that much, but it's bound to be hilariously powerful.
 
...Is this a good time to drop out of thread for a while?
I mean, for all I see it being necessary I really don't want to go all conquest-mode right now. And especially not in Lys.
*Sigh*
I just... Find it hard to deal with unexpectedly changing circumstances and plans. I've been waiting for Dracolich showdown with baited breath, and now it seems same went for Tyrosh...
Eh.
Whatever. I'll go and sleep, see if situation changes.

Hopefully, we're overthinking this and nothing will go wrong.
Heh heheheh.
*Laughter that goes hysterical and slowly erupts into sobbing*
 
I feel bad for Diomedon, honestly.

Plans that don't have some kind of quantum element to them don't survive us, let alone make it within sightlines of the enemy.
Adhoc vote count started by Crake on Mar 7, 2018 at 7:38 AM, finished with 162481 posts and 8 votes.
  • [X] Plan Accidentally A City
    -[X] Port to SD. Tell everyone that we are mobilising right now. The Shadow Tower and the Legion are to be prepared for deployment.
    -[X] Take Xor, Garin and Tyene along. Also the Iron Golems.
    -[X] Dany, Garin and Tyene will accompany our guest to the hidden market of Lys to gather intel. Bribe her well if necessary and offer her a job.
    -[X] Viserys and Lya inspect the Fleshforge.
    -[X] Xor, guarded by the rest, errects a curtain wall around the tree as a staging area.
    -[X] Once everyone is back, prepare to cast all the divinations.
    -[X] Also get the bedroll for a powernap for Viserys.
Click to expand...
 
egoo said:
...Is this a good time to drop out of thread for a while?
I mean, for all I see it being necessary I really don't want to go all conquest-mode right now. And especially not in Lys.
*Sigh*
I just... Find it hard to deal with unexpectedly changing circumstances and plans. I've been waiting for Dracolich showdown with baited breath, and now it seems same went for Tyrosh...
Eh.
Whatever. I'll go and sleep, see if situation changes.

Hopefully, we're overthinking this and nothing will go wrong.
Heh heheheh.
*Laughter that goes hysterical and slowly erupts into sobbing*
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Take a break for a few days. I did so myself recently and it helped a whole lot.

We will welcome you back with hookers and whatever the lyseni equivalent to a margherita is.
 
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