With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Twelve)

[Mr Zoat]

28th September
21:21 GMT -3

The universe slows, my immediate surroundings blurring for a moment as my power armour materialises around my body. My right arm reaches for the Sword of the Fallen at the same time as filaments dart towards my colleagues. Jade and Thana get construct armour almost immediately, while the other filaments move through the air at what feels like a crawl.

Euanthe is stepping away from the horror that was once a port official, but her epidermis is already darkening and hardening into brawling bark. Nyssa has drawn a pistol, but is quite sensibly trying to increase the distance between her and the Demon. Beulah is going for her pistol, an aura of burning purple already forming around her left hand while the grundywomen leap through the air at the malefactor.

Railguns.

The first grundywoman takes a demonic fist to the face, head deforming at the point of impact. She falls aside, but the Demon isn't quite able to strike the second fast enough to prevent it grabbing onto his torso. The Demon just grins as the grundywoman tightens her grip, then the spikes inserted along his limbs glow and extend, stabbing through his undead attacker. The spikes don't do much more than poke holes, but she immediately goes limp as the spells animating her fail.

Euanthe gestures and vines redolent with the power of the Green shoot upwards from the earth, grasping for the airborne Demon. He rolls in the air, ducking behind the vines as Beulah's fire blast strikes the place he was a heartbeat before and incinerates them.

Angel feather rounds and fly.

The shockwaves from my shots blast the grass back and tear the leaves from nearby trees. And I think I see the Demon wink an instant before the sludge of the Lazarus Pit vomits upward to envelop him. The kinetic force of the railgun round impact causes the goo to ripple and undulate, as if someone had taken a hammer to a lump of oobleck. He's knocked back, but-. Of course. He's controlling the Pit indirectly. The Angel feather round would only burn up demonic magic if it came into direct contact. The magic in the Pit-gunk somehow absorbed a lot of force, but that's perfectly possible for mid-tier magic users.

Fine. Mage slayer rounds.

The Pit-gunk pulls down, taking the Demon with it.

Um, what?

I float directly over the Pit, railguns pointing directly downwards.

"Anyone know what just happened?"

Beulah points her pistol at me, not bothering to try removing her construct armour. "Warlock! You called up a Demon!"

"Clearly, but how? We certainly didn't mean-."

"You called back a damned soul! Did you think the master of that place would fail to notice?"

Actually… Yes. Satanus… Worked out what I was doing based on… Three disappearances? Hell is vast. I mean, yes, if he knew exactly what we were trying to do it would be predictable, but he'd have to have good enough intelligence both on me and on the domains of the other Lords of Hell. And he'd have to know exactly who Jade had killed. That's… Scary-good.

"Fine, but we can kill Demons." He's not physically in the Pit… "What's he doing now?"

The ground around the Pit sinks, some sort of foulness bubbling up from underneath. I hurriedly lift Nyssa, Jade, Thana and Beulah off the ground while Euanthe roots herself, a powerful tree trunk blasting upwards from the ground just behind her and a root network expanding outwards in all directions. The remains of the grundywomen start being absorbed into the ground almost immediately, the foul ground digesting their dead flesh.

"Pavlos! He is using his body's connection to the land to open a portal!"

Fiddlesticks. "Can you stop him?"

"I can restrict his influence somewhat, but I do not understand the magic he is using well enough to truly counter it!"

"Beulah, you know much about Demon magic?"

She points her pistol downward and fires, the ectoplasmically enhanced shot doing little to the morass beneath us. "Fighting, yes. Banishing, certainly. But whatever devilry this Devil is about, I've not seen the like before."

Oh dear. "Logically, if a Demon was able to bind its own hellish magic to a site of geomantic power-."

"It will open a gate. One that will not be worn away."

"Right-oh." I generate four additional railguns and start firing with mage slayer rounds, scattering my shots across the parts of the morass furthest from Euanthe's roots. "Anything you can to do counteract that would be much appreciated."

She kneels on my construct platform, hands held together in prayer.

"While I wouldn't turn away divine intervention-."

A white-burning witch-sign appears between her palms. Never mind then.

Below, the mage slayers appear to have nullified the Demon's attempts to alter the ground… At least on the surface. I'm still getting confused scans from underground. Target those patches. Okay, if he does manage to open a gate it shouldn't be that hard to kill any escapees before they get somewhere with people in it. In extremis I can use Praexis Demons, but a simple transition-stab would most likely work as well. This has.. gone badly, but it isn't catastrophic just yet.

Hm. If Euanthe gets a firm perimeter established, grabbing everything inside that and throwing it into space could be a sound op-

Blood splatters across the front of my faceplate.

-tion. Where did that come from?

Another splatter, but my colleagues' armour is holding fine. It's not coming from them. The Demon hasn't reappeared. It doesn't appear to be coming from anyone, and it's not the sort of splatter you get from a wound. It's more like.. rain…

The forest vanishes, a dimly-lit basalt landscape replacing it, and the rain of blood from the literally hellish clouds above us increases in intensity.

Oh dear.

The horizon towards what used to be the west undulates and… No, that's a horde of minor Demons heading our way.

"Paul, what just happened?"

"This is Hell. The Demon wasn't opening a portal to call in reinforcements. He was trying to draw us in."

A shimmering image of a red-skinned man in Roman armour appears a short distance in front of us. "Orange Lantern."

"Satanus."

"Welcome to The Odium. Hell's industrial heartland. I thought that you might appreciate the opportunity to look over the modernisation campaign you inspired."

"No. Send us back or I destroy it."

"Really? My auguries show that the Snake of Avarice is no longer with you. Do you think you're powerful enough to kill all demonkind?"

"I'd give myself a better than even chan-"

Beulah shoots the illusion, which shimmers and fades to nothing.

"-ce."

I look at the oncoming horde, and ready my railguns.

Praexis Demons, go.

 

[Mr Zoat]

28th September
21:23 GMT -3

Praexis Demons spill from my rings and fly at what is for them a reasonable speed towards the army of abominations. Looks like an irregular formation, monstrosities formed of twisted Human forms and/or bits of animals, no two looking quite alike. Some squirm on their bellies like snakes, some undulate like caterpillars, some fly on insect or avian wings and others run on two or three or six or eight or more-than-I-can-easily-count legs. Some have simple weapons, other carry things that look more like tools while the great majority appear happy to rely on their natural weapons.

Beulah shoots me a foul look as she reloads her pistol. "You use Demons."

"Technically, they stop being Demons when I assimilate them, since they contain no Hell magic and are entirely made of orange light. Do your people use living slaves?"

"No, such is an Abomination."

"There you are, then. Looks kind of similar, isn't the same thing."

"Be that as it may, should we survive I am done aiding you in this."

Can't really complain about that.

Jade draws her swords, glancing sidelong at me. "Can we beat them?"

I target the largest of the oncoming Demons with an Angel feather round and fire. "Against all the hordes of Hell?" It strikes home, causing him to throw back his head and scream in agony as the golden fires consume him. "In a straight fight, no. However, I'm reasonably confident that I can slaughter enough of them that they'll either let us leave or flee."

"Reasonably confident, huh?"

The Praexis Demons hit the horde's front rank, immediately causing it to cave in on itself as they start biting everything in reach and the Demons on either side of their line turn to try to envelop them. Almost at once they start flowing from my rings once more, but if I unfocus a little I can also feel them reproducing from the mana-rich Demon flesh.

"I've seen better odds. Thana?"

"A-ah, yes?"

"Can you feel anything around here that isn't hellish?"

She shakes her head. "Lord Hades has no power in this place. Even if he would hear my prayers here, he-."

"We're in Hell. I'll take a portal to anywhere. Back to Earth would be nice-."

Nyssa's looking upwards. "Lantern…"

I follow her oh shit.

The clouds part slightly as a swarm of aircraft break through and head in our direction. Unlike the horde heading towards us across the open terrain, these are clearly the product of a technologically sophisticated civilisation. Part aquatic predator and part rune-covered mechanical war machine, they swim through the air as their emaciated crocodile pilots prepare their weapons. And floating just behind them is a golden humanoid wrapped in barbed wire.

He waves politely.

Railguns the fuck now.

I see tiny flares of light as they open fire with some sort of projectile weapon, bullets of kaahuite punching into the rock around us. Should probably try and collect some of that… I generate a shield construct as the cybersharks start getting their shots on target, the kaahuite striking and pancaking against the construct as its inherently destructive magics get to work. I'm forced to selectively make holes after the force of the initial impact is absorbed, letting the blobs of glutinous metal plop to the ground.

"Me taking all of you up against the fliers gives slightly better survival odds than me leaving you here." Agony is the most senior Demon I've seen so far. "Other options would be appreciated."

Now let's see how physics work here.

Mage slayers rounds strike cybersharks, glowing red arcane barriers manifesting around them and then being drained by the anti-magic properties of my ammunition. Sharks shudder in the air as they start taking hits, demonic machinery vibrating as the shockwaves from the supersonic impacts pass through their bodies. Pilots cry out and break off from their attack dives in an attempt to evade, which is really what I'm trying for at this point. As the fastest members of the horde -a group of skeletal figures on ruddy-glowing bikes- start getting too close for comfort I reinforce the platform beneath my group's feet and lift us upwards.

Cybersharks start to fall out of formation from damage, and with us out of easy melee range I mentally command a group of Praexis Demons to break away and chase them down. Plenty of food in those things. Next, I generate a small bank of cold guns and shoot anything that looks like it's burning. Some go out, frozen just as solid as a conventional flame. Other flaming Demons just brush it off, moving to evade the beam in some discomfort and then returning to their full incendiary glory as soon as they manage it. One or two impressively dressed Demons just take it, or become ethereal and allow it to pass through them.

Fine. Now, cross my fingers, aim a railgun at Agony, load an Angel feather round and fire.

"Oh, no, no-"

He lazily raises his right hand, the barbed wire biting into it swirling outward for a moment and-

"-no."

-striking my supersonic round in the air for an instant before the round carries on to its target…

Who catches it with no apparent difficulty. Thaat's not meant to be possible.

"Delightful as the torment of Heaven's fire would be-"

Praexis Demons start targeting cybershark riders, pulling them from their seats and chomping them to pâté.

"-I do have-"

I focus my fire on him, cold beams doing nothing and mage slayer rounds being met with barbed wire caresses before being ignored. My first couple of orange energy pulses draw a raised eyebrow when I fire them and a disturbing-

"-a job to arh-uaha-ah!"

-sigh of pleasure as they do little more than mar his skin.

"I'm open to ide-."

GruughhhhhhhhhA!

My vision whites out as every nerve ending in my body suddenly signals horrible burning agony! My muscles convulse and I slump bonelessly in my armour.

Spell eater exceeding critical temperature.

Replace it!

Uhuh! Better.

"Down! Take us down!"

I try looking sceptically at Beulah, but I'm wearing a faceplate and my face is still humming with pain. "Yeah. Sure. Why?"

"I have a weak sympathetic link to the Dryad. If God smiles upon us-."

"Good show, going down."

The ranks of Demons beneath us let out a howling cheer as we fall, and those who can spare attention from the ever-growing Praexis mob ready their weapons as I target them.

 

[Mr Zoat]

28th September
21:26 GMT -3

"Cleanse the ground!"

How many mage slayer and Angel feather rounds do I have left now? Not as many as I'd like… But this isn't the time. I dismiss the railguns and switch to all-cold guns, sweeping the ground below us at full power. No sense in being conservative either; we either get back now or we'll have to hide somewhere in Hell, and if we have to do that then I'll either have time.. or we'll be dead. Demonic fires flicker around the demonic bikers as they try to avoid being frozen, but they're nothing like powerful enough. Of course here Demons aren't quite as vulnerable to anything so base as physical destruction; they can maintain their physical forms with only the power freely available all around them.

That's why I thrust giant shovel constructs into the mass and shove their fracturing parts aside, dropping us into the gap as fast as I can. Next: railguns. I take advantage of the lower angle to fire full force mage slayer rounds into the closest edge of the horde. The closest few fade and falter, while the kinetic force of the shot is enough to drive those behind them back as well.

That.. giant Slug demon with a palanquin is getting a bit close…

"Beulah?"

Shimmering witch signs float over both of her hands. "Cleanse, blast you! I need the demonic taint gone!"

"But there was a Demon on the other side-?"

"I will not use Demon magic!"

Ah… Right… Maintaining fire and-.

The Slug convulses, and a foul blob of something bubbly and magical flies through the air and splats over my construct barrier. It immediately starts both eating through the construct and tainting it. I-. And I can't get rid of it.

I shoot my own construct with an Angel feather round. Golden flames flare through it, causing a moment of decidedly uncomfortable feedback through my rings. Then I regain control as the taint is burnt out, thrusting my shield outwards while replacing it with another.

Then I target the slug with another round. It hits home with the expected burst of golden fire, but… The Slug… It's actually made of many.. smaller slugs and… A lot of them die, but the structure as a whole carries on just fine. Forget that. Cleansing. I fire Angel feather rounds into the ground in a rough circle around us at low power, then aim my railguns a little further away and fire again. A haze of translucent golden fire wafts across the hellish landscape…

"Good enough?"

Beulah's visibly straining, hands shuddering as if witch signs are electrifying her. "Nearly…"

Jade points upwards. "Paul…"

I follow her-. Ah. Fiddlesticks. Agony has abandoned his former reticence and has followed us down, smiling curiously as he does so.

"Escaping? A theoretically sound approach, but I'm afraid-" The barbed wire around his legs lashes out and.. somehow sticks in the air. "-that my manipulation of the Selvage is far-"

"Gaaarh!"

Beulah's eyes roll back and her whole body convulses as the witch signs fade and die. Praexis Demons!

"-too good for that to be a realistic prospect. Satanus wanted to see if I could block your access to avarice as well… But it looks like that won't be ne..cess-." He looks up as the massively expanded Praexis horde bears down on him. "Ah. A moment." He raises his arms, the barbed wire covering them flying outwards and tearing through the mob. A flicking motion, and the greater proportion of them are flayed apart and don't return to my rings. "Creatures with no capacity for pain or pleasure. How distastef-."

My railguns form a circle around him and shoot. His head jerks towards my guns and his eyes widen slightly, the barbed wire around his torso swirling to intercept the oncoming projectiles around him. None penetrate his defences, but I don't see any spare strands…

I form a new railgun beneath him and shoot him with my last Angel feather round.

It strikes him in the crotch, golden flames enveloping his skin and incinerating his barbed wires. Immediately Beulah rights herself and recreates her witch signs as Agony writhes in the air with a massive grin on his increasingly skull-like face. "It's a good pain!"

I don't bother with railguns, I just shoot a pneumatic ram construct into his chest and thrust him in the general direction of the demonic army.

"Clear?"

I see an arm stick out of the palanquin's curtains and gesture for the foremost Demons to advance across the burning rock. A few obey, shuddering in pain as it eats into their bodies… But the flames dim in response.

"Beulah?"

"There!"

The witch signs flare, momentarily blotting out the hellscape. When they fade, we're standing on the patch of bare earth surrounded by forest. Far more forest than was here a few minutes-

"Pavlos!"

-ago. I turn around to see-

"rAAAAAAAGHH!!"

-the Demon who sent us there being shredded by the razor sharp thorns running throughout his body.

"Are you all back?"

I check, Beulah slumped in Nyssa's arms, Jade watching our surroundings for the next attack and Thana standing rigidly in the centre of our group.

"Yes!"

The brambles squirm and contract, all that's left of Mr Okereke falling apart as the thorns cut him to pieces. The nails that had been stuck through him fall free, and I swiftly envelop them in small lumps of iron.

"Link broken?!"

The wooden Ogre that Euanthe has become shoulders its way through the foliage and plants her right hand on what's left of the Demon. "It is as broken as I can make it. The power of the Green outshines all other influences!"

"Good sho-."

Jade jabs her right hand at me. "That was not good."

"Alright. No, not.. good in absolute-."

"Going to Hell is not good! We would have died and our souls-!"

She bites the rest of her diatribe down, trying to regain her composure.

I nod. "You have a good point. Trying to carry on now that Satanus knows how to do that would be.. foolhardy." She grudgingly nods. "So if we limit ourselves to people who aren't monotheists-."

"NO!"

Um..?

"Look." Jade steps up into ideal stare-down range. "I get you're trying to help. And to start with it was nice… In a weird sort of way. But this needs to stop. If this is what happens when we bring people back from the dead, I'll learn to live with the consequences of what I did the normal way."

"If that's w-?"

"And you need to not… Go.. crazy when I say things like this."

I send my armour back into subspace and nod solemnly. "Alright. I'll.. try. Ah, everyone? I'll.. fly you all home."

 

[Mr Zoat]

29th September
17:13 GMT -5

Jade takes a moment to look me and my bouquet over as I stand in the doorway, then steps back to allow me inside.

"I… Asked Doctor Mist to check the site." I look around and fail to spot a suitable vase, so I take one out of subspace and put the flowers in it before setting them in the middle of her kitchen table. "Apparently, Euanthe did a good job of sealing it."

"Without creating a killer forest?"

"It was a.. forested area anyway. Nothing like as interesting, spiritually speaking."

She nods, taking a moment to look at the flowers. "What else did Doctor Mist say?"

"He.. wasn't exactly impressed with the fact that I was bringing people back from the dead. He.. seems to regard it as 'cheating'." I look at the floor for a moment. "I've.. added an equipment harness to my power armour. I'll be carrying the Aces around with me from now on."

"That's.. not the problem."

I nod. "Yes, I… I know. You told me that the problem was having killed them, not the fact that they were currently dead. And I ignored that and focused on the resurrection part."

"And got us pulled into Hell."

"That… Wasn't something I could reasonably have foreseen."

"Did you know it could happen?"

"I knew that some of the people we brought back had been in Hell. Ambrose and I had procedures in place for dealing with that, with… For dealing with small amounts of Hell magic, making sure that no one could track it. But I had no idea that it was possible for them to possess a corpse while it was being infused with geomantic power. The whole… Thing with Thana checking was supposed to ensure that the person we were targeting was.. actually who we thought they were, but…"

"But it turns out that Satanus knows more about Demon magic than you do."

I look up. "Yes. Demon-magic isn't.. really well-explored by professional thaumaturgists."

"And what happened to 'I've read the Book of Truth'?"

"Satanus.. wasn't in it. I recognised Agony-."

"The golden one with the barbed wire."

I nod. "Yes. And I could try summoning him, but he'd know it was me and he wouldn't have to come. And the people who wrote the book didn't write it with people who could brawl with high-end Demons in mind. I could.. identify most of the other Demons either individually or collectively, but I.. don't think that's really the point."

"No." Jade thinks for a moment. "How are the others?"

"Thana isn't.. coming out of the Temple right now. Beulah tried shooting me again. Nyssa thinks.. suspending the study is the right thing to do, though she did say that she wouldn't mind taking a look at the successful resurrectees. Euanthe was.. pretty upbeat, actually. Which.. given what happened to her-."

Jade scowls. "And what did Ambrose say when you gave him those nails?"

"That.. they could probably be used to make another Ace for.. when I have to fight Angels. And.. that the people he was looking after looked like they were starting to recover a bit, so that's… Still not the point." I take a.. slightly wary step towards her. She doesn't back away. "I tried to deal with the way you were feeling in a rational way rather than an empathic way. I can't.. exactly relate to how you feel, as the only person I felt guilty about killing got better-."

She frowns. "You felt guilty about killing Ra's?"

"No, Matthew Hagen. Missus Wayne's mudman turned out to be able to survive being baked by gamma radiation. My point is, if you want to talk about it, I'll actually listen and not.. do anything crazy… No matter how logical it seems… I'll do it. Alternatively, I.. can get hold of someone with experience in counselling child soldiers or... Harleen?"

"I'm not sure that confessing to committing a string of unsolved murders to a prison psychiatrist is such a smart thing to do."

"She takes her patients' privacy very seriously. Or…" I spread my hands out to the sides. "Whatever you want. What do you want?"

She half-turns away. "I don't know how to deal with a guy who says he'll do anything for me and actually can."

"Well… You can… Think about it. Though there was… One other thing…"

"Mm?"

"This…" I tilt my head back for a moment. "I didn't think we'd be having this conversation for a month or two…"

"What conversation?"

"I'm really powerful. And the few enemies I have are either really powerful or really good at hiding. I didn't predict a horde of Demons, but fighting a horde of Demons is something I'm prepared to have happen to me."

"And you don't think I'm powerful enough."

"It's not that you're not powerful enough. Superman's girlfriend is a baseline Human woman. But… She's got basic self-defence training and can use a handgun. She isn't directly involved in superheroing and has no.. pretensions in that direction. So Superman can get into whatever fights he wants and she… She knows she's not part of that. And it only bothers her when someone throws her off a building or throws a car at her. On the other hand, your.. self-concept is tied up in your abilities as a fighter."

"I fought Nabu with you."

"We had preparation time and you had a weapon specifically designed to disrupt his magic. This time Demons just turned up unexpectedly."

"I know that. And I know that being around you is-. You expect these things and I can't do that."

"And it makes you angry. Quite understandable. What do you want to do about it?"

"I-." Her eyes narrow slightly. "You were planning for this conversation?"

"Well, yes. I know that your skill in combat means a lot to you, and I know what a Lantern can do. Assuming that we stay together -and I do want to- it was inevitable that the relative difference in capacity was going to come up at some point."

"And what exactly did you decide I should do about it?"

"I'm.. not…"

"You may as well say it."

"The obvious alternatives are that you improve your capabilities, or that you find something else to do. I can train you with a ring-"

"No."

"-or… I mean, you're only twenty, you could retrain for.. anything. Anything you want. Or you can keep doing what you're doing now. I don't think you'll find it satisfying-. "

"Okay."

I stop and wait.

"You've… Given me some things to think about. Thank you for the flowers."

Ah.

I nod, turn, and walk out through the doorway.

 

[Mr Zoat]

Alienated

29th September
07:17 GMT -6

Ms Wor-Ul barely looks up from her weeding as I step off the veranda of her house, a crate containing some of the nicer Kryptonian relics from Amalak's hoard in my right hand. "What do you want?"

I stop on the soil and squint at her tub of weeds. "Why are you doing that?"

"Preserving my cover." Her hands move quick, faster than a Human could with any accuracy. Not super fast, though. "The fields need weeding, I don't want to risk hiring someone else to do it."

She-. How did-? Ah, she's not squatting on the ground, she's floating just off it in a squatting position, moving along as she eliminates the invading plantlife from everywhere within arm's reach. That sort of precise-and-constant-movements-that-she's-not-really-thinking-about flight is pretty hard to do, and I speak from personal experience there.

"And you can't use weed killer because..?"

"Do you have any idea what Earth weed killers do to Kryptonian plants?"

Fair point. Probably. I actually don't know if they do anything…

"Alright, but you could probably get some sort of drone-weeder..?"

She looks up, frowning at me like I've said something particularly stupid. "How could I justify Kirsten Wells affording something like that?"

"Stealth.. drone weeder..?" Yeah, okay. "Anyway, while I was out going to and fro across the universe and walking up and down on it-."

"Spare me. I get enough bible quotes from the locals."

"I picked up a few things that might interest you." I hold the case out slightly in her direction.

"Why, did you go to Krypton?" She stands, peeling off her weeding gloves as she does so. "If that's a crate full of glowing rocks I'm not exactly going to be impressed."

"Ms Wor-Ul, I have no desire at all to harm you. I came across some artefacts of Kryptonian origin and you were the first person I thought of."

She frowns as she walks towards me. "And not the boy scout or your friends Kon-El and Match? Interesting choice."

"You're the only Kryptonian I know who's actually from Krypton." I crouch as she reaches me, laying the case on the ground in front of me. "Of course, if you don't want it I imagine that Kal-El will be only too happy to take it off my hands."

"Alright." She crouches down in front of the case and opens the clasps. "Let's see what you've found in the galactic flea markets..." She opens the lid and there's a very slight intake of breath. I can see the shock in her eyes that momentarily breaks through her usually controlled manner. She actually hesitates in commenting on it, gently picking up some sort of.. commemorative plaque and carefully examining it. "Where did you get this?"

"It used to belong to a mercenary commander by the name of Amalak. He was something of a collector of Kryptonian memorabilia."

Her eyes start to glow. Just a little, but I'm watching for it. "I think I need to talk to him."

"Do you have supernatural powers? Sorry, heh." I look away for a moment as my desire to quote Terry Pratchett overwhelms my common sense. "I mean, he's dead, so unless you've trained as a necromancer…"

Her eyes turn upwards while the rest of her remains completely still. "How did he come by it?"

"It's a little hard to tell; between the Spider Guild and the Crown Imperium's fleet his records were in a poor state when I got access to them. From what I read-" A data crystal emerges from subspace and floats out in front of her. "-it looks like he was either hunting down surviving Kryptonians himself or-."

"Ro." She takes hold of a headband decorated with Kryptonian characters.

Ah. "I'm… Sorry. Someone you knew?"

She shakes her head slightly, returning it to the case. "Did you find anything else?"

"Yes, but I put the best bits in there."

"I'd… Like to go through it. All of it."

I nod. "Fine with me. I had a few things I wanted to discuss with you anyway."

I stand, and she takes a moment to carefully return the items she moved to exactly where they were when she opened it before closing the case again. "We knew... Someone was targeting us. I never heard the name 'Amalak'…"

"He was the more intelligent sort of mercenary commander. He was from a planet called Timaron, it was-."

"One of the Possession Worlds." Ms Wor-Ul stands, keeping a solid grip on the base of the case. "I visited it a few times."

"Anything you want to tell me?"

She shrugs as I lead the way back toward the hush tube opening. "No, not really. Technically, they were part of the Kryptonian Empire but we didn't intervene a whole lot in their internal affairs. We paid for supplies, protected their civilian shipping."

She looks around curiously as we walk through the tube and out into the command area of the Hny'xx facility. My Lanterns overran it a few days after the fall of the Citadel and managed to capture it largely intact. I've had the Genomorphs tidying things up a bit since then.

"You.. missed General Zod's putsch attempt, didn't you?"

"Mm. Heard about it. I didn't like the Science Council either but you didn't see me turning traitor."

"You went AWOL."

"Sure. That was my life, but I accepted the results of the election even though I knew it was stupid. And look what happened: Krypton got destroyed and there weren't any ships to evacuate anyone. Maybe if the General had won then we wouldn't be going extinct."

"As far as I've been able to piece together, General Zod manufactured a confrontation with the government of Timaron and carried out an orbital strike. The resulting dust clouds nearly wiped out the planet's population. Amalak got evacuated as a child, but most of his species died."

Her face twitches. "Rao. I knew the General was a nasty piece of work, but… That…"

"Did you ever meet him?"

"He wasn't even born when I left." She looks around again. "What is this place?"

"This is where they were growing the new generation of Citadelians. Essentially, it's a giant cloning facility." I stop and look at her. "Do you want it?"

She frowns. "Me? What for? I don't have any use for Citadelians."

"As you said, your species is on the verge of extinction. I have a staff experienced in cloning Kryptonians and the best facilities you're likely to find, as well as plenty of Kryptonian genetic records. I would rather your species did not slip into non-existence, and I would like a Kryptonian to be in charge of the project. Interested?"

Her eyes widen slightly. "Defences?"

"Isolated location, and I can have two hundred Lanterns here within a few minutes. And… Ten as a standing garrison? Plus fixed weapons, epic shields and interdiction fields as well as conventional soldiers."

"I-." She averts her eyes and shakes her head. "I'm not a scientist, I can't-."

"You're a military commander. This means that you have organisational skills. And you also have a knowledge of Kryptonian sociology that no one else does. No one else could raise a new generation to be Kryptonians rather than monochrome Tamaranians."

"It's… A lot to think about." She stares about us. "I'll need to look over the whole place."

I nod. "Of course. I've planned out a tour. Oh, and one other thing. Since you raised the point about defences…" I generate a construct image. "You'll never guess what we found buried underneath Texas…"

 

[Mr Zoat]

30th September
18:03 GMT -6

I feel a little nervous when I see Warden Waller waiting for me. I'd like to say that it's a bit late for her to have second thoughts, but the truth is that she can cancel this little excursion at a moment's notice.

"Warden Waller. I thought that Deputy Warden Bendemann was handling this?"

"Since I'm the one who's going to have to explain it to the Senate Judiciary Committee if anything goes wrong, I thought I might as well see you off myself."

"Do you.. actually have any reason to think anything will?"

"Oh, I've got a-" She holds up a ring binder and shakes it at me. "-whole mess of reports telling me that they're behaving, they're getting educated and staying away from bad influences. And I've got a state Governor who heard about them helping you back in January and who's been asking me about commuting their sentences."

"The State of Louisiana wants to let someone out of prison early?"

"Uh-huh."

I shake my head. "I don't understand you."

For a brief moment she nearly smiles. "I don't either. This is the man who laughed when I told him the reason why I wanted to build this prison in his state was because they wouldn't let me hang them."

And she's.. probably not joking.

"I.. honestly don't think that totally commuting their sentence is a good idea. Did he.. give you some idea of the figure he had in mind?"

"And why would I tell you details of a private discussion I had with the Governor?"

I shrug. "You brought it up. We're both trying to rehabilitate them, and… They're not really the deferred gratification types. If they know that what they've already done has materially improved their position, I think it would help make sure that they keep going."

"I'll make you a deal: if this whole thing happens without incident, I'll talk it through with you."

I smile warmly. And maybe a little smugly. "There aren't going to be any incidents, so that's fine."

She looks unconvinced, but activates her radio. "Warden Waller to Correctional Sergeant Haynes. Bring them on through."

I turn and stand at parade rest as the armoured door behind me slides open. Two plasma gun armed correctional officers walk through and take positions on either side of the door. Then with a quiet "Get moving." Tuppence Beresford trudges out. She's wearing a white t-shirt, blue jeans and a blue denim jacket, solid working boots… And of course that fetching prison-issue choker. She flickers her eyes to the armed guards waiting for her and then dismisses them. I get a suspicious glare, but I just grin and wave until she starts to feel awkward and looks away.

A similarly dressed Thomas comes out a moment later. He spots me and smiles and waves back. "Hey man."

"Convict."

"Ah." He comes to something that might generously be called attention. "Warden."

Two further correctional officers follow on behind them, guns raised.

"Thomas and Tuppence Beresford. Contrary to my expectations, you've actually shaped up since coming here. As a consequence, I have signed off on Orange Lantern's work release program. For exactly twenty four hours you will be under his direction, no less than eight hours of which will involve performing useful labor under his direction on the project you have agreed to."

Thomas nods. "Yes 'm."

"If I hear anything about the two of you taking advantage of this, it'll be the last time it ever happens. Am I clear, convicts?"

Thomas nods, while Tuppence just sort of shuffles slightly. "Yes, Warden." / "Yes Warden."

Waller breathes deeply, then activates her radio. "Warden Waller to Control. Deactivate collars on prisoners Beresford, Thomas and Beresford, Tuppence."

The red lights flash, then fade. Tuppence yanks hers off immediately while her brother takes a little more care. Both hold them out as the prison officers on either side lower their guns to approach and recover them, Tuppence smiling as she hands it over and stretching to loosen up her re-empowered muscles.

"God help us." Waller turns to face me. "They're to be back no later than twenty hundred hours and you have to feed them."

"Understood." She looks away, waving her right hand in an arc from me to them. "Thank you." I walk towards my new charges. "Shall we be off, then?"

Thomas shrugs. "I dunno, man. Shall we?"

I'd love to believe that was intentional. "Transition in three, two, one."

1st October
06:06 GMT +6

Since I've travelled with both of them like this before, neither Thomas nor Tuppence react much to the sudden scenery shift. He looks around vaguely before turning to me for directions while she starts studying the ship hulks. A few of the locals turn to stare in our direction, but this place doesn't really come alive for another hour or so.

"Welcome to the Chittagong Ship Breaking Yard. We'll be starting over here-."

"Ah! You're here!" Magnificus Sivana gets out of the rugged off-road vehicle he'd been waiting in, accompanied by site supervisor Mr Hazari. Magnificus has gone for work boots, khaki Bermuda shorts and a similarly coloured short-sleeved shirt. "Ready to get to work?"

Tuppence pulls a face. "What you doin' heyah?"

Magnificus stops as the mud sinks slightly further than he was expecting, evaluates, then strides through it anyway. "I'm joining in."

"Don't y'all got fancy doctor-work to be doin'?"

"Yes, but I'm here anyway. I don't mind a little physical labor now and again." He looks like he minds a little physical labour now and again. "Oh, watch out for the mud when you're leaping. It won't support your landing."

"Thanks, man. Good t' finally meet y'all." Thomas extends his right hand, and Magnificus doesn't hesitate. Honours in the resulting squeezing contest are about even, though Magnificus disguises his reaction slightly better.

Tuppence looks Magnificus over disinterestedly. "Mah double not comin'?"

"Oh, no, she's-" He and Thomas let go, honour apparently satisfied. "-here. Beautia volunteered to help out in the local medical center. You'll meet her at lunch."

"Mister Lantern?" I turn my attention to Mr Hazari. "You are welcome to start on any of the-" He points toward the shore. "-three ships there. Just break them up and drag the parts to the high tide line. Our workers will handle the sorting."

"Any potential hazards?"

"We took out most of the fuel after they were beached, but there are probably still fumes in the fuel tank area. Otherwise, no. Not for people as resilient as…" He points to my work detail.

"Thank you, we'll get started right away then."

 

[Mr Zoat]

1st October
12:21 GMT +6

"Tuppy!" Thomas hoists a sheet of steel hull over his head. "Catch!"

Tuppence turns around, giant marine propulsion unit held in both hands over her head. "Whut?"

Thomas throws, sheet metal spinning through the air from the partially dismantled hulk like a giant Frisbee.

Tuppence is already tossing the engine- "Doc, catch!" -to Magnificus as she takes three hurried paces-

"What? Agh!"

-in the direction of the oncoming oblong then leaps, shooting through the air and intercepting it as it starts to fall in earnest. Their momentums cancel each other out almost perfectly, and the local workers hurry to get out of the way as Tuppence lands in the mud with a plop and an explosion of silt!

She pauses to catch her breath, then shoves the plate into the mud and checks herself over. Yeah, I think there's… Maybe a square inch in total that isn't covered in grey-brown sludge right now. She tries wiping her face, then flicking as much off her hands as she can. Her attempt accomplishes little.

"YAH BIG COOYON!"

Thomas appears to be cracking up. Tuppence spots this, and goes to pick up the hull plate-.

Ah, no. I transition next to her and she spots me just as she's winding up for her retaliatory throw. She sort of waves the plate around for a moment, not wanting to throw it with me right there but not prepared to retreat in the face of her brother's prank.

"Allow me."

A wave of orange light passes over her from her feet to the top of her head, removing mud as it passes. She looks at her hands, lets go of the plate with her right hand so she can check her face. "Uh. Thanks." She sticks the plate on her shoulder and starts walking back to the drop-off point. "Ah guess."

"You're welcome." I float after her, accelerating until I come alongside her. "I couldn't help but notice..?"

"Whut?"

"Are you growing your hair?"

"What if'n I am?"

"Nothing, nothing. Just making a social enquiry."

"Burman's women's side barber."

"Really? Wow, that.. doesn't sound clever."

"She ain't exactly bad at it? But I ain't lettin' her nowhere near me with a razor."

"You know, I could… Probably get you a hair dresser..? If you wanted one? Someone who wasn't a serial killer?"

"Naw… I kinda like it."

I nod. "Enjoying the day so far?"

"Beats gow'n t'class, I guess."

"So -given the choice between a normal day in Belle Reve and doing this again..?"

"I'd come back. Probably." I smi-. "What yew lookin' so happy fawah?"

"You've found a legitimate job which you enjoy. That's a big part of getting you to the point where you can be released from prison."

"How much we gettin' fer today?"

"I'm paying for lunch."

"Uh." She grunts, then tosses the hull plate so that it spins in the air before landing and embedding itself point first next to the others. "I'll have the Lobster."

"Having checked the water quality around here, I wouldn't recommend it." Ring, radio.

Compliance.

"Thomas, I was thinking we could break for lunch now. That alright with you?"

He waves his right arm, nods, then turns around to lower himself off the side of the ship before letting go and falling to the ground. The resulting mud wave is deflected by the lumps of metal already covering the ground by the ship, and he makes his way towards us in a series of somewhat more conservative leaps.

I turn back to the scrap pile, where Magnificus is directing people who do this for a living on a daily basis how to take an engine apart. "Magnificus, are you joining us?"

He looks around. "Yes, alright. Do you have somewhere in mind? If you don't, I.. know a place in Dhaka..?"

"Fine with me." Thomas lands and has to stagger to absorb his momentum. Mister Hazari looks around and sees the four of us together. "We're going to take an hour for lunch."

He waves back. "Okay!"

Magnificus looks at his somewhat soiled apparel. "Lantern, would you mind..?"

I wave my right hand, orange light giving him and Thomas a quick clean up. Thomas smiles. "Shuwer beats prison shawahs."

"Hey." Tuppence jerks her chin at Magnificus. "Doctor Magnificent."

"Magnificu-. Magni, just call me Magni."

"Raaht. Doc Magni. We actually related or whut?"

"Father assures me-" Our surroundings flicker as we appear just outside the local medical centre. "-that we're not. Beyond.. being from the same ethnic group, obviously. Tia?!"

"The whut group?"

"Physical features. Pale skin, blonde hair, blue eyes. It was most likely an evolutionary response to the low levels of light in Northern-."

"An' the formula we gaht don't do nuthin' to make us smartah?"

"Nothing.. significant. It would make you resistant to head injuries… We still aren't entirely sure what all of the effects are, but-."

"Hello!" Doctor Beautia Sivana strides out of the medical centre, dressed in the shapeless sort of clothes recommended for Western women visiting Islamic countries. "I'm Tia, and you must be Thomas and Tuppence."

Thomas leans a little closer to me as Tuppence regards her doppelganger. "Not related, raht?"

"Thomas…"

He grins and nods. "Yeah, Doc. Tommy Beresford. Please t' meet cha. How's it… Ah, how's it gawin'?"

"Malnutrition, poisoning and deformities from industrial waste, five different diseases that don't exist in America any longer… About what I was expecting." Beautia turns to Tuppence. "How are you finding ship breaking?"

"S'okay ah gyus? Lot more fun than sittin' in Belle Reve."

Huh. First time I've heard her address a new person with something other than hostility. Interesting. "Magnificus, where was that restaurant?"

 

[Mr Zoat]

1st October
12:34 GMT +6

"…'Sivana' like the midget guy?"

I am seeing an entirely new side of Tuppence right now. And other than Magnificus' famous ability with condescension I'm really not clear why. She wasn't even this nice to Dr Munro. Contrary to my expectations of Magnificus' tastes we're in a tourist-orientated restaurant rather than a more prestigious establishment. Which is fortunate, as I don't think I'm renowned enough around here to walk into whatever restaurant I want and be guaranteed a table. We've been issued with menus and drinks, and Thomas has fallen silent as he tries to work out exactly what he's being offered.

"He's.. not actually a midget. Dad's just short. And he's not even that short; he's just a little under five feet."

Magnificus nods. "We both take after our mother, physically speaking."

"Sounds lakh you gaht the best a' both."

Beautia folds her menu and puts it to one side. "Dad won't tell me exactly what he did-"

Thomas elbows me. "Hey."

"Yes?"

"-but he always said that's what he was aiming for. I'm not sure exactly how…"

Thomas tilts his menu my way. "What is alla theus?"

Normally I'd treat a question like that as a joke. But I don't think that's the correct thing to do here. The menu is in English, but I'm.. assuming that he's not used to this sort of restaurant. "Bangladeshi food. It's all perfectly edible."

"Yeah, but… What's a 'pakora'?"

"A fritter, basically."

"So that one theyah is 'fried chicken'?"

"Fried in spicy batter, but essentially, yes."

Thomas smiles with relief. "And here I thawt this wuz gow be hard."

"Never eaten Indian food before?"

"Naw, man. Hey, ah, what you having?"

"Mutton bhuna khichuri with mixed vegetables."

He frowns. "What sort a' animal's a 'mutton'?"

"A female or castrated male Sheep over two years old. Though… In this part of the world it can also mean 'goat meat' for some reason."

"Then why don't it just say 'Sheep bunna kicurry?"

"I think it was the Normans, but-"

"Are you ready to order, sirs?"

"-that's a history lesson for another day." I look around. "Are we?"

Magnificus looks a little sceptically at Tuppence, who responds by pointing somewhere in the middle of the second page of the menu. "Thayat one."

I suppose that if you've never had this sort of food that's as good a way of picking something as any other. It also means that she doesn't have to ask for help. Sort of makes me wonder how the two of them managed after they left home. I haven't wanted to bring it up for fear of alienating them, but they were on the road for over a year before they rampaged badly enough to come to League attention. They must have been eating alright, and their clothes were clean when they ran into Wallace and Kon so they were either recently stolen or they'd been doing laundry. And I don't remember that being on their charge sheet. Given their mother, they'd probably have had to learn how to clean things at a fairly early age…

"And you sir?"

"Mutton bhuna khichuri with mixed vegetables, thank you."

I pass my menu back, and he piles it with the others. He gives us a short bow and then turns around and heads for the kitchen.

"So, you think ship-breaking could be the career for you?"

Magnificus shakes his head. "Oh, good heavens no. Give me a nice clean laboratory any…" Something occurs to him. "You weren't talking to me."

Beautia smiles at his discomfiture, while Tuppence looks like she's about to take offence. But her eyes flick to Beautia and she just snorts instead. Heck, if this is all it takes I'm going to get in touch with Ms Brauer and see if she minds doing some mentoring.

"I imagine that they'd take you on if you wanted the job…"

"No, no, not about me. Thomas?"

Thomas turns his head to look out of the window. "I dunno, man. I ain't never-" Magnificus twitches. "-had a regular job befowah. They gawt places like that in America?"

Magnificus shrugs, so I nod. "Yes, though nothing quite on this scale. I'm not sure they could provide you with enough ships to make it worth your time."

"Hey, thayt's even bettuh. We could jus' stawp by a few days a month."

Tuppence shakes her head. "They ain't gonna pay fer a few days a month."

"Actually, they might. If you think about it, if it costs them slightly less to hire you than to hire a whole team plus equipment, then-" Assuming they're confident that you'll behave yourselves. "-they'll pick you. That's just good business sense. The only reason I'm sure about the workload is because super strength doesn't help with sorting or processing the parts of the superstructure, and they make their money selling that. But, since they can only get so many ships in…"

Thomas nods. "Makes sense ah geuss."

Tuppence frowns. "Hey, how come we ain't they'uh raht now?"

"Because US law makes hiring you to do jobs like that legally complicated while in Bangladesh they don't care. Once you're released it's easier, but until then their insurance wouldn't cover the risks."

"'Cause they think we gonna go crazy or somethin'."

"Because you might drop something on someone and they'd be financially liable for the damage. They understand cranes. They don't understand super strength."

"Hey." Tuppence looks thoughtful. "What wuz that you wuz sayin' 'bout them havin' all kinds a' diseases 'round here?"

"Um, well… Parts of the world like this don't have the same sort of immunisation program or healthcare that the US does. If children don't get immunised, they can get sick from the disease and the disease is around because people still carry it. And those regulations that make companies liable for the consequences of their action exist for a reason; it's practically impossible for someone here to get compensation from their employer if they get injured."

"But it ain't a problem fer us?"

"Danner enhanciles aren't immune to disease, though we are resistant to side effects, injuries and poisons. Assuming that you had your shots, you shouldn't have anything to worry about yourself, but-."

Tuppence shrugs nonchalantly. "Sucks t' be them, don't it?"

 

[Mr Zoat]

3rd October
00:04 GMT +3

"Thana?"

I step nervously into the Temple of Hades. I've visited here every day since the Hell incident, but each time another priestess -a woman by the name of Natasa- told me that she wasn't available. I hadn't even realised that there was another priestess of Hades on Themyscira. I mean, logically it makes sense that there would be more than one priestess but after their forebears went crazy the job rather slipped down the totem pole as a status symbol. I certainly hadn't seen anyone other than Thana in here in a professional capacity before that. Huh. Given that I might eventually end up here permanently, I.. do.. sort of need to smooth things over with her.

"Natasa?"

No, she's not here either. I could scan for her, but that does seem somewhat intrusive. Particularly given that the reason I'm here is I think I've… What's the word? Scared her? Trespassed against her?

"Identify yourself."

An Amazon soldier I don't recognise walks out of the crypts, a shield decorated with a wreathed skull on her left arm and her right hand on the hilt of her sword. I'm.. not seeing much from her, just the black eddies I get from Thana when she's communing with the dead.

"My.. Amazon sisters have taken to calling me Pavlos, though I'm afraid that I can't speak my real name." She.. doesn't appear to recognise it. Odd. "The Orange Lantern? The one who… Ah… Instigated the incident that led to Thana spending a few minutes in hell last week?"

"Ah." She releases the hilt of her sword. "Natasa told me that you had wanted to propitiate her."

"Right, and I'm.. sorry about the lateness of the hour, but Natasa said she might be available if I came back.. now. Is she?"

"She is." A woman… Thana, appears to materialise out of thin air as she lifts a helmet from her head. "I apologise for keeping you waiting, but I had urgent business to attend to." She's.. dressed warmly, and in addition to the helmet has a pack on her back.

"Quite understandable. Are you.. going somewhere?"

She nods, stowing the helmet under her left arm. "Indeed. Captain, why don't you go and complete your preparations?"

"Yes, priestess."

The.. captain? Bows, then strides back into the crypts.

"Thana, I want to apologise. My preparations were inadequate. I should have waited until my Atlantean contacts were available before pressing on with my investigation."

"Oh, that is quite alright. I had every opportunity to refuse to take part, and I should have noticed that there was something wrong with Mister Okereke's shade."

"Oh. Ah, I'd rather gotten the impression that you were avoiding me. I thought that I'd offended you rather worse than I.. appear to have done."

"Oh, I'm not offended. In fact… I should say that I'm grateful."

Um? "You are?"

"Oh yes." She looks down at the ground for a moment. "Eternal torment. Such a deceptively simple phrase. I wonder if it's truly possible for a person to understand the concept until they.. are forced to experience it for themselves."

"I… I don't know. I hope not."

"You hope..? Ah." She nods. "I suppose that would be kinder." She takes a moment to examine the decorations on one of the walls, the ones detailing the fates of those the Olympians singled out for 'special' treatment. "Prometheus, condemned to have his liver pecked out. Painful, extraordinarily painful. But it could not kill him, and he only endured it for thirty years before Herakles killed the Eagle."

"And Zeus didn't just send a new one?"

"I believe that Zeus was distracted at the time. Lord Hades believed that the punishment was excessive, and chose not to remind his brother once his schedule became clear."

"Oh?" I smile. "What was her name?"

"Ganymede."

Ah.

She walks a little further along the diorama. "Sisyphus, obliged to roll a stone up a hill whose summit he will never reach. Hardly agonising. Many labourers must do more each day, and he was a quite unpleasant man." She sighs. "But true eternal torment, great pain being inflicted constantly with no hope of release at all… Horrifying."

"Yes. It is."

She looks at me with mildly disappointed affection. "You don't understand, do you? I am attuned to the spirits of the dead. That did not stop-" Oh shit. "-simply because we were in the domain of another god. Satanus called the region we were in Hell's centre of industry. Do you know what sort of industry they are engaged in?"

"No."

"Once their psyches decay too far into madness as a result of Hell's torments they transform shades into reflections of whatever device they require. Both the process and the results are… It is unspeakable. A violation such as…" She shakes her head. "I could see their suffering. Feel the echo of it in my own breath… It was such an obscenity, and I did not even begin to understand it until I saw it myself. Thank you for showing it to me."

"You're welcome? So… Where have you been?"

"I have been in Asphodelopolis, consulting with Lord Hades as to what to do about it."

"I've been thinking about that myself, but as big a threat as Satanus is, I don't think that an attack is going to be a realistic prospect for the foreseeable future."

"I agree. But I wasn't talking about that." She glances back towards the crypt as the captain emerges once more, followed by a small squad of other Amazon guardswomen. All are carrying packs for travel and all show the same black blur when I try looking into them. "I do not believe that there is much I can do for the poor souls already there, but I can try to prevent others from being sent there. I am travelling to New York and..." She takes a deep breath. "And then onwards wherever I must go, to preach against the evils of the God of Monotheism and convert as many as I can away from the foul faiths which condemn people to such a place."

…

"I see. Um. You appreciate that about two thirds of the Human species are monotheists of various stripes, yes?"

She nods. "My resolve is no less for that. In the face of such a horror, I can do no less." The guardswomen come to a halt just behind her. "I would have gone on my own, but Lord Hades felt that it would be better if I took a retinue for my protection."

I take another look at her companions. And on several of them I see thick scars on parts of their bodies where strikes would have been lethal.

"And as proof of my own god's generosity."

"You understand that this offer will appeal most of all to some fairly unpleasant people?"

She nods. "I don't care. No one deserves that. The worst person it has ever been my misfortune to meet is Herakles, and even he…" She shakes her head. "No. No one. Punishment for wrongdoing is just, but not forever."

"Right. Well. I wasn't expecting this, but I wish you all the best of luck. Feel free to get in touch with me if you need anything."

"Thank you, Pavlos. I will."

 

[Mr Zoat]

3rd October
12:34 GMT -5

Jade narrows her eyes in a distinctly unimpressed way. "What do you mean, Catwoman can't keep up with Batman? She was stealing from rich people in Gotham for years without getting caught for longer than five minutes."

I take a moment to look around the restaurant, but either no one is paying attention or 'IRL Who Would Win' debates are so common here that no one cares. But… I take out a sound scrambler anyway. "Catwoman was most successful when Batman first started, when he was mostly fighting organised criminal gangs and corrupt officials. The reason why she was so successful was that he generally had better things to do than chase down a cat burglar who didn't kill people. On the few occasions they did run into each other, she was able to get away. That isn't the same as being able to win an actual fight."

"She took on Carmine Falcone and his bodyguards armed with inch-long claws. They had guns. Falcone had that scar across his face until Dent killed him."

"I didn't say she couldn't fight. I just said that she's not in Batman's league. Look." I raise my hands to forestall her retort. "If two people in costumes operate in the same sort of area and one is a vigilante and the other is a criminal, they get linked in people's minds. That doesn't mean that they're actually an even match. Very few of Batman's opponents can win a fistfight with him. Mister Cobblepot can't, Mister Nygma can't, Ms Pye can't… Even Mister Napier needed preparation and a lot of luck. Talia could, because she used highly lethal weapons and he wouldn't, but you have to go down the list to Doctor Langstrom or Mister Reardon-."

Jade frowns in puzzlement.

"Man-Bat? The Ten-Eyed Man?"

She looks incredulous. "Batman.. fought a man with.. ten eyes."

"He has photosensitive cells on his fingertips and I know it sounds stupid. The point is, it's possible to be an extremely successful criminal in Gotham without being able to fight Batman one on one. Most times Batman has come close to death were due to traps, ambushes or 'industrial accidents'." I smile. "Though Holly probably deserves a special mention for stabbing him on his first night out."

"Hol-? Holly stabbed Batman?"

"Please don't tell her. I really want to see her face when she finds out."

"How can she not know? He is kind of distinctive."

"He was dressed up like a drifter, pretending to be a local while he took in a few crime hotspots. He hadn't even settled on the whole 'Batman' thing back them."

She raises her eyebrows. "And you know this how?"

"Batman has a scar right where it would have gone in, and there's a report matching what I remember on the Justice League's database. And Holly once mentioned something that sounded very much like the incident in question."

"And I thought killing a Justice League member was supposed to be hard."

"Batman isn't on the League because he's good at punching people. Which is -again- why the Catwoman comparison falls through. Because even if she was as good at fighting as he is, she doesn't have most of the other skills that he does."

"She might not be as good a detective as Batman, but she can track down criminals perfectly well."

"And the rest?"

"She doesn't have a Catmobile, if that's what you mean."

"Catwoman's perfectly capable of investigating street crime locally. But more to the point… Batman started work in Gotham about twelve years ago. Since then, the crime families have gone underground and the city's government is far less corrupt. He fought a campaign, and he's largely won it. And he didn't do it just by punching people."

"And Catwoman cleaning up East Side doesn't count because..?"

"Because there's no strategy. She only went sort of straight because she made enough money that she no longer needed to steal." And because of her interesting personal relationship with Batman, but that isn't public knowledge. "But take.. drugs. Okay, she beats up a dealer and ties them up somewhere where the police can pick them up. The demand is still there, so someone else comes in. Net change as far as the area is concerned, nothing. Maybe a slight spike in local prices."

She sits back, crossing her arms. "So you're saying I'm wasting my time."

"Depends what you're trying to get out of it. But if you're trying to improve Gotham in a lasting way… Then… Yes. If you're just beating up acceptable targets for the exercise, then, fine…"

"I can't infiltrate the gangs to bring down the supply network completely because I'm too well known. And I need a job that actually pays me. I don't have any special skills relating to rehab except locking addicts in a locked room until the symptoms stop. That was part of my training."

"Your father or the League..?"

"Does it matter?

I look down at the remains of my lunch. "I suppose not."

"I can't start a business because I only really know how to do one thing and I don't think my probation worker would really want me passing those skills on."

"Offering.. self.. defence training is an option. I know a couple of people in the Gotham Police Department..?"

"I don't think Detective Bullock really has the build to use my style." She raises her eyebrows expectantly. "Isn't this where you offer me a power ring again?"

I shake my head. "You don't want a power ring. You know you don't want a power ring."

"I thought you were supposed to be good at this."

"Talking to women?" I shake my head. "No." She snorts. "Okay, look: you can afford to take time out of employment to do training. But, I don't think you'll be satisfied with something that doesn't involve fighting. You don't want to work as an assassin, you don't want to join the military and joining the police would be tricky. Have you considered looking further afield?"

She looks away to her right. "Every country I'd seriously consider working in would check my background."

"I was thinking more 'another planet'." That gets raised eyebrows, but she doesn't say no. "The Orange Lantern Corps is one of a number of Maltusian-run military organisations. I doubt that the fleet or marines would interest you, but the Darkstars do infiltration, sabotage and reconnaissance. And they mostly do it against the Reach, who are super evil. What they do broadly matches your skill set. And they're down on operatives because a number of them just transferred to the Orange Lantern Corps."

"I don't speak any alien languages."

"Most people don't. They provide translation devices, or you can get lessons."

"That… Could be interesting."

"I can create Darkstar-style armour to your specifications if you want to try it out. And I.. happen to know where some Kobra cultists are hanging out…"

She relaxes her shoulders slightly, resting her hands on the table. "I suppose giving it a try wouldn't hurt."