Well time to toss my hat into the ring.
Health and Dental
"So is there something in the water here in Goldsheaf or does our Lady have
certain criteria when it comes to choosing her followers?"
Dana blinked at the sudden non-sequitur and looked over at Layla Current, the pirate currently sprawled out like a lazy cat in the afternoon sun. It had been a long day for all and the two women had been taking a moment to breath before the next inevitable issue arose.
"I'm....not sure what you mean, miss Current."
"Captain or Layla, not a 'miss'. And
please. The wind in my sails might not blow that way but I can understand why each and every one of you Flower knights has the boys tripping over their own tongues just by walking past, with or without those bodygloves on. And the huntsmen? Nothing but Prime-grade
beef underneath the armor. Mills is good. Damn good, but even he couldn't turn a bunch of random recruits into
that with the time he's had. So like I said, what's the deal?"
Dana was quiet for a moment before looking at each of the Flower knights nearby. Of course there had been the two that had done
pin-ups of all things to help recruitment but they were simply better looking then the majority right? However now, comparing the one of the pair present and others; they looked about equal in appearance. Looking down at her hands in confusion she noticed two more oddities. She had been seeing the development of wrinkles on her hands (no doubt stress induced) ever since she had first heard of just what the Publicani intended to tax from Equinox. Not only that, but she'd long since had a scar running half the legth of her right little finger caused by an accident when she have been young. Now both were gone, nothing but smooth pristine skin that looked at least five years younger.
"M'lady, what did you do?"
"Nothing, really. The symbiote helps but this is what you are supposed to be. It's nothing odd."
As usual, the Verdant Maiden had appeared from nowhere, fan in hand and a guileless smile on her face. It said something about how often this occurred that Dana didn't even twitch anymore. Layla meanwhile, raised an eyebrow in response.
"Last I heard that shrub-glove gave a bit of protection and healing. How's that equal them looking like they all got pumped full of high grade juvenat and got a Biologis to do some work?"
"Do you have any idea just how much of the aging process is simple wear and tear along with tons of little errors piling up? It's a LOT and the symbiote heals the messes while enabling your body to sort out the problems. Same thing for conditioning. The human body needs far too much prodding to get in gear about that so the symbiote speeds things up while ensuring no damage occurs. Sure you'll need to eat more but it's got to get the energy and materials from somewhere right?"
At this Layla rolled over looking at the Verdant Maiden with interest. "So you're saying if I squeeze into one of those things, I get to stay young and tight forever while not having to do more then sitting on my ass?"
"Oh no, I'd never inflict immortality on you. All things must be born, live and then someday die. It's the proper way of things. You'll still age but it would be about two hundred, maybe two hundred and fifty year life span? I haven't really done the math. And you'll need to move around, just no more then what the average active lifestyle demands in order to start seeing benefits. You simply don't need to torment yourself to get results."
At this a bray of laughter erupted. "Frack. If you'd told me about that, I'd have signed up even without you sticking it to the Governor. Now I've got to get one of those to try on. Hey Dana, maybe you should change up the pamplets: Join the Cult of the Verdant Maiden. Complete Healthcare plan included for free!"
Dana want to facepalm, Layla continued to laugh and the Maiden simply smiled; happy that her followers were in such good spirits.
AN: To continue with the anime bulls**t in this quest I'm going off a few tropes. The female leads (particularly those wearing the bodysuits/tight space suits etc) are always very attractive+fit (while even the pure civvie guys are athletic enough to join mecha fights etc with little conditioning). Seriously, you see very few fat/out of shape people that aren't also old. And the other 'fat' individuals tend to be either acrofatic or in the stout strength category. Combine that with the mention in turn 6 of the Belladona pods fixing 'minor blemishes' and the '
To gild a lily' omake I figured why not? Mills is happy since he can shove the Huntsmen into truely over-the-top anime-style training montages and get even better results. The Huntsmen are less happy about it. But yeah, everybody with the symbiotes look like fitness models while living longer and healthier lives then anybody who doesn't have the cash of an Imperial noble could hope for. Cue more Ordo Malleus Report fodder.
