K so.... I'm going to be brutally honest with all of you. I still fucking love this story to pieces but I feel like I'm ramming my head against a wall here. the last chapter fought me tooth and nail even though I knew exactly what I wanted going into it. now... Hell now I'm having more trouble than ever even just starting the next update. the whole galaxy finding out whats happening is something that causes everything to go topsy turvy. Sure given how few Jedi there are they aren't a part of daily life but at this point in the time line they are also a source of hope and inspiration for... literally anyone in need. See Anakin dreaming of freeing all the slaves even if his mother was experienced enough to know that's just not how it works.
So you have alarmists convinced this will lead to a neo sith war, not impossible. You have people that are excited to emulate their childhood heroes, you've got hoards of people trying to figure out how they can turn this to their advantage with different plans for how to do that some of which will inevitably be incompatible.
The part of me that wants to produce the best story possible wants to go into detail on this, give perspectives and show this off. My muse on the other hand keeps shying away from the idea like a whipped dog. so I think I just have to accept that it's not going to happen.
my back up plan which I liked more was to write about all this chaos from the POV of people in power, I was leaning towards Padme and Satine. guess how well that's going over with my muse... Yeah it isn't. Padme is a weird collection of contradictory traits in my mind not exactly mutually exclusive traits. just... they don't fit together properly in my head which makes the idea of writing from her perspective about issues that nothing even remotely similar to has happened on screen I can draw inspiration from is daunting and I feel like I don't have enough of a framework to pull it off... Granted I've written Dumbledore and he is so much worse, but at least I have more examples to draw on for him and it wasn't his POV. Satine by contrast is just... does not compute. She's the head of a planetary government and a pacifist. yes yes I understand the how of it all, childhood trauma, her world horribly scared by war etc etc etc. but writing from her POV, her thoughts? Forget it, I'll only end up bashing her trying to twist my brain to fit a mold it can't see. if her personal stance was pacifism and she was just one person fine, I could make that work, but as the leader of a planet... no. I really really can't, it's willful ignorance and denial of reality and I can't write that without bashing her to hell and back and if I do that from her POV it would just be so much worse.
I thought about doing some kind of forum discussion but honestly that just sounds like chaos with dozens of different points of view and I really don't want to try it.
Getting some of these ideas out there seems important in an abstract way but it's fighting me tooth and nail. I'm kind of leaning towrds a different idea now. Maybe just write chapters from POV's I've already used where the POV character is confronted in some way with a few of the more common opinions? It would take a lot of the pressure off and let me get on with some of the more interesting character interactions I've been wanting to explore...
I don't know. Mostly right now I just... I'm aware how neglected this fic has been, and it makes me cringe. so I guess I'm info dumping to let you all know what's been going on in my head and to try and get my thoughts in order and to hopefully kick start something in my muse which has spent the last month bouncing between four different fics like a sugar high squerral, and no I am very much not in charge when my muse get like this. If it keeps running away from me like this I'm going to find myself with more stories and I kind of really do not want that right now thanks, but I've never once been in complete control of my imagination so that's just going to be whatever it decides to be and I'll just have to live with it.