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To Establish Peace - A Romance of the Three Kingdoms Quest

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While I was having a sandwich a brilliant idea struck me.

We should have kept the heads of defeated bandit chieftains as trophies. That way, we could show our collection to the advancing bandit army from the city walls. Chu Yan's head would fit in perfectly.
 
Sertorius said:
While I was having a sandwich a brilliant idea struck me.

We should have kept the heads of defeated bandit chieftains as trophies. That way, we could show our collection to the advancing bandit army from the city walls. Chu Yan's head would fit perfectly.
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You do have Huang Long's head, from memory. Still room to collect more!
 
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Chu Yan Interlude - A Thief's Reasoning
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    • Elsewhere, a day prior...
    ​
    To say that tensions were high, and the pressure was on, would be understatements. After all, only a few days ago, word had come back that three of their allied armies had suffered rather unexpected defeats in quick succession. One had broken down into infighting, as old rivalries between siblings had caused them to lose sight of the true objective. Another had been so demoralised by their loss that their leaders were still fleeing westwards. The third, the one with the most sterling reputation, had by every account been thoroughly crushed. Even its vaunted chieftain had fallen on the field. These were the only major setbacks his plan had experienced so far, everything else had gone off mostly without a single hitch. Walled towns and cities had been sieged and sacked with relative ease. Local garrisons had been routed, some had even surrendered and joined the cause. An enormous amount of treasure, arms, horses and foot had been procured, more even than he ever expected. Perhaps it was partially due to this frankly astonishingly successful campaign that Chu Yan was now faced with this predicament. Before him in the tent was a motley collection of leaders, chieftains, mercenary captains, defected Han officials, tribal heads, clan patriarchs, champion warriors and other notable commanders of the Heishan coalition, as well as a few Yellow Turban representatives. The intention was to feast, drink and share in merriment before the final siege of the campaign. An opportunity to increase camaraderie, boost morale and, indeed, mourn their fallen brothers and comrades. Even though a truly fine array of food had been prepared, made up of captured livestock and game, the mood was sour. Then, as the evening drew later and the wine cups began to fill, the bickering began. Chu Yan, from his seat, merely watched and observed, mostly in silence, only speaking to whisper words to Yu Du sat at his left, or to order one of the slaves to refill his cup.

    "Huang Long was worth more than any of you wretched fellows here!" One grizzled old bandit barks out, standing up and pointing his finger at a few others. "He was a warrior of honour and a man of dignity, of respect! He still followed the old ways, and came all this way due to his principles! None of you here understand that, not anymore."

    A much younger rogue quaffs his wine, before retorting, "That's probably why he's dead, and we're not!" He guffaws, with those around him snickering and chortling to each other. He pats the backs of the two men sat next to him. "Me and my brothers here are far too smart to worry about such shite as "honour." We've got full pockets, and lovely new wives too! All our lads and men are filthy rich as well!"

    Another spits out some bone. "Yes, and you only got that rich from slaughtering villages that had already surrendered. They had already given us tribute and gave up their weapons, but your gang killed them all anyway! You promised that town elder personally that his family would be safe!"

    "As I said," The rogue grins, revealing several crooked teeth, "Lovely new wives. Big words comin' from a man who used to be a Prefect's guard captain. I bet you felt all high and mighty when you plunged your blade into your own lord's back!"

    A mercenary captain grabs a nearby serving girl, and forces the terrified lass onto his lap with a grasp of his strong hands. "I for one am rather enjoying this little arrangement. Far better pay than protecting some silk robed bureaucrat or watching the caravan of some prick of a merchant. It's far easier and far more fun to be on the other "side", so to speak...heh heh. Who cares if some of the troops are dead? It is their leaders' fault for being stupid enough to attempt open battle against a Han militia. Besides, it just means more share for the rest of us, eh? Heh heh!"

    "Hear hear!"

    "I got so much loot, I have never seen such riches!"

    "My clan has been starving for years, trying to scrape a harvest in the hills. My wife and daughters will not believe their eyes when they see all the cattle that is now mine!"

    A man clad in heavy furs stands up with a grunt, placing his hands on the table. "It is not about the plunder or the money." He says, in a rather thick accent. "Since before my father's father's father's time, my people have been under the thumb of the Han. We have been forced to pay their taxes, and fight and die in their wars. Five of my own brothers were sent far west to bleed for the Han, not one returned. This is the time when my people, and all the clans of the great black mountains, shall finally have their independence."

    "Nah, I am all about both the plunder AND the money, thanks!" A one eyed man off to the side interjects, to laughs and jeers.

    A young man clad in yellow cloth, with a headscarf around his head, stands up and punches the air. "No, I agree with him! The Great Teacher said that once the year is Jiazi, then the Yellow Sky will rise! That year is now, my friends, and the cruel days of the Han are finally at an end! Freedom, tranquillity, and prosperity will come to all of you, my brothers! Long live the Yellow Turbans! Long live the Great Teacher! Long live the Way of Pe-OW!" He is interrupted when a half-eaten apple is tossed at his head, to taunts and laughs.

    The thrower of the fruit cries out, "Shut up, no one here cares about that Way of Peace shite!"

    "Yeah, piss off, you mad cultist!"

    Another, aging chieftain crosses his arms. "I don't even know why we're still here. We got all the loot we could ever ask for. We won some spectacular victories. We have travelled many, many li. Is it not time for us to go home?"

    "What's stopping you, old man? The Red Bone Gang left this morning. Cun Du and his men left last night. The Sunken Hill tribe packed up days ago. More and more are leaving every day."

    "I hear not long after Xia Pan and his gang left, they got butchered by some northern cavalry army. Same thing happened to the Su Brothers, and the Morning Mist clan. They say that army is getting closer and closer..."

    "Huang Long was the best warrior here, and they say he was killed by... well... you know who. In single combat."

    "An entire Han army is about to march into Shangdang. It's true, I heard it from my cousin who rode to join us from Henei. They number ten thousand, and their numbers swell daily..."

    "We can't beat a regular Han army in battle, going up against that would be suicide!"

    "Does Chu Yan even know what he's doing?"

    "How the hell does Xinshen have such numbers? It's one, tiny county I'd never even heard of before!"

    "They say the Azure Lance cavalry is unbeatable. Our own riders stand no chance against them!"

    "More and more of us leave every day, and who can blame them?"

    "There's a monster in the Azure Lance army. They say he is half man, half pig, half bear. To him, even a hundred soldiers can't slow him down."

    "That's nothing! I hear the real monster is that rider with two spears, the one who knows no fear, no mercy, no emotion at all."

    "Oh, I heard of him. He's the one who nearly killed Chu Yan, right? I heard he got so scared he pissed himself...."

    "Well, I heard that the Hawk's wife is a woman ten times as strong as any man, who can throw a shield two hundred paces and still hit it's mark."

    "I think we're only here because Chu Yan has some petty grudge or something. I don't want to risk my men's lives for his foolish cause!"

    "Last I heard, the boss in the north is having some trouble. We should go back and help him."

    "Forget about the boss, Chu Yan is the real leader, everyone knows that. I'd much rather fight for him than that stuck up old man."

    "You all are just cowards, scared of some children. With our numbers, who do we even fear?"

    "Yes, that is why we all need to stick together!"

    "Forget that. As soon as first light hits, I'm taking all my plunder, all of my men, and I am going home!"

    Chu Yan watches and listens as the myriad arguments rise in the tent to form a cacophony of noisy bickering. How long was this going to go on for? How many times had he heard these same banal discussions, over and over and over again? The shouting goes on and on. He rolls his eyes, and bites his fingernails.

    That is, until, a single question cuts through the noise. A question on the minds of many, but one that no man had dared to ask. A question that immediately causes the tent to fall into awkward silence.

    "Who is Liang Shu?" A very young bandit asks.

    As some hushed whispers and murmurs begin, Chu Yan chooses this moment to stand up.

    "Liang Shu...Liang Shu.... hmm, how do I explain this one...?" Chu Yan scratches his head in an overly performed manner, whilst pacing from his seat with his usual pronounced swagger is. "Liang Shu is, aha!" He snaps his fingers. "He is a mistake. To be clear, he is my mistake, for even someone as enlightened as I is not infallible. Can you believe that? Well, it is true! Really!" He gives a broad grin. "For some context, a while back, I was doing some, uh...freelance work. Sellsword stuff. The, uh, stab people and get paid kind. You know what I mean? Not my proudest moment, but we've all done stupid things to get a bit of scratch, I am sure. All of! Yes, even you, Ren Gu! I see you there, shaking your head! Maybe one day I'll share the story about your little...hm...fox incident? Yeah, that wiped that look from your face! Hey, hey, don't growl at me, I'm not judging! You know I'm not!"

    "Feiyan." Yu Du says, simply but loudly. "Focus."

    "Oh! Right! Sorry! Apologies, gentlemen, but when one's brain is as thoroughly vast as mine, the mind cannot help but...wander. Honestly, with my impeccable genius, it is a wonder why I stay so humble!" Chu Yan smirks, before continuing his staggering stroll. "So! I was hired by this decrepit old noble prick called Ge Lang to plunder Xinshen, cause some general unrest, chaos, disorder, and to kill the prefect. In return, I would get any goods I...procured during my raiding, as well as some undisclosed rewards. These rewards were rather vast, too! I would be foolish to say no, and I am many things, but a fool I am not." He bends over to snatch an apple out of the mouth of a seated man. He takes a bite out of it, and hands it back to the shocked brigand. "So, I do the deed. The classic feigned retreat thing. Maybe it's a bit overdone, but if Han garrisons keep falling for it, I'll keep doing it, you know? But yeah. Arrow. Face. Dead prefect. Should be end of the story, right? Wrong!" He grabs someone's full cup from the table, drains it with one gulp, and tosses it over his shoulder. "First problem is this. Never." He claps his hands. "Trust." Clap. "A." Clap. "Nobleman!" Clap. "Liars and cretins, all of them! And they call US thieves? This Ge Lang gives me NOTHING what he promised me! Not even that granddaughter of his, which was, quite frankly, more like a bonus than anything compared to the other things. In hindsight, his offer was so good I doubt he'd be able to pay me all he promised anyway! Second problem, gents!" He raises a single finger. He gives it a puzzled, baffled look. His head tilts to the side as he stares at his upright index finger. "That's not right." He raises a second finger. He gives it a surprised, and then satisfied glance, and then grins. "Ah. That's better! Yes, second problem. This prefect, Liang Qi, had a son. Normally wouldn't be an issue. He'd go into mourning for a year or two, and then wouldn't have the guts to do anything anyway. Maybe petition to the local government and get nowhere. The problem is though, this little brat, Liang Shu, doesn't live in reality like you and I. He lives in a dreamworld, a fantasy! He thinks he is some kind of hero!" Chu Yan waves his arm around, accidentally hitting a man in the face. "He thinks his filial duty is to avenge his father's death, by taking up a weapon, strapping on armour, mounting a horse, and somehow convincing others to risk their lives for him. Bafflingly, he is good at it. Great at it, even! Big Eyes Li, Zuo Zizhangba, our dearly missed Huang Long, and no doubts many other fine fellows have lost their lives to this little squirt, who is probably even younger than you are!" He points a thumb towards the young bandit who asked the question in the first place. "Do you know why he keeps getting away with this? Do you know why he has won so many battles and has been such a pain in my arse? Does anyone know why? Anyone?"

    Murmurs and grumbles are the only answers he is given.

    "Well, I'll tell you why!" Chu Yan shouts, suddenly hopping up onto the table, standing in a bowl , spilling some cups and kicking away some duck. "It's so fucking simple that it's no wonder no one gets it!" He points to the side of his own head, his eyes getting maniacal. "It's because all of you, because EVERYONE, underestimates him!" He extends his arms out wide, and begins walking up and down the table, purposefully kicking more dishes of food as he does so. "Everyone is like 'oh he's just a boy, he's just a child! He hasn't even got hairs on his chin yet! He's no match for us!' Well, he's not a just a child!" Chu Yan says in a mocking, sing-song tone. "He is, frankly, an astounding warrior and a great military mind. Conventional tactics won't be any use against him, nor will typical ambushes or traps. He has surrounded himself with talent, too, most of whom also get underestimated due to their age. Well, I do not underestimate Liang Shu...nor have I grown to fear him like some of you. He may be a skilled leader but he has never gone up against someone like me before. Against conventional methods he can win out, but against methods so baffling and unpredictable even I can't keep track of what I am doing? He stands no chance. I already have plans in mind to beat him, and Poison over there already has Xinshen primed to fall from within." He points over his shoulder to Yu Du.

    "Yes. As soon as we march on the city, a team within will seize the armoury, start a fire, capture the prefect and leaders, secure one wall and open one gate." Yu Du says with a nod. "It will be done at night, as well, to truly catch them off guard."

    "See?" Chu Yan grins. "So, just leave Liang Shu to me, and the city to him, and everything will go fine iiiiif you all follow my orders exactly. Or Yu Du's orders. One of us, really."

    He hops off the table, but not before kicking someone else's dish for good measure.

    "Don't forget why we are here, either. People are rising up against the Han at last, so don't worry about retaliation. This is to prove we can work together." Chu Yan clasps his hands in place. "East, north, west and south, people are fed up. Fed up of going hungry or getting sick...with no relief off the nobles or the government! All of us have had to scrape by to feed our families, only for tax collectors to seize most of our grain and gains anyway. We have been taxed until we bleed, and when we go into the hills to escape their greed, they call US bandits and thieves! Their oppressive and strict laws have crippled us, whilst only those with extreme wealth and noble privilege are allowed to benefit and rise up. We break our backs beneath their feet, but the moment any of us bite back, we are the ones branded criminals! I am sure all of us know people who were arrested, beaten, imprisoned or even killed for taking food to feed their starving family. Well, that time is over, brothers, and our time is now. Bingzhou is a land of strong people, who deserve independence and freedom. We will win it for them...and if that means we get rich ourselves in the process, well, that is only a side benefit, right? Either way, the Han Empire is done for. With all the ruckus they won't even be able to spare men to fight us. I can see now, all of us being "rewarded" with fancy titles, ranks, fiefs and lands of our own, actual legitimacy, because the Han will be too scared to fight us. In order to prove we are too strong for them, we merely have to win just one more battle. Some of you in the room fear what will face here in Xinshen, but remember! As long as we stick together and fight side by side, we outnumber them by an overwhelming margin. No amount of skill or luck will allow Liang Shu to get leverage over that, especially with Yu Du's plan to nullify their walled city."

    A big grin appears on his face. "So! Stop all this bickering and moaning, and get back to feasting! Eat, drink, my friends! Just imagine what glory and riches await you!" He glances over to the now wrecked banquet, spilled food and drink everywhere. "Oh, and uh...someone get one of the servants? No, let's be honest.. someone get one of the slaves to clean up this mess that someone made. And get them to cook more food It's a disgrace that our feast ended up in such a state. Someone, beat the slaves so this doesn't happen again? Ok, thanks! Enjoy!" Waving over his shoulder, he saunters back to his seat next to Yu Du.

    "So, are you still going to pay Ge Lang a visit tomorrow?" Yu Du asks him quietly as he sits down.

    "As you know, Poison, I can't take such a slight. Call me petty, but I won't let him get away with it." Chu Yan sighs. "I wouldn't be able to call this a success if I don't personally kill his family and make him watch. It wouldn't feel right. After I return from that sordid affair, I'll tell you exactly how we are doing to crush that little hawk. Look forward to it, my dear friend, I have some fun things in store."
     
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    • Gaz said:
    "As you know, Poison, I can't take such a slight. Call me petty, but I won't let him get away with it." Chu Yan sighs. "I wouldn't be able to call this a success if I don't personally kill his family and make him watch. It wouldn't feel right. After I return from that sordid affair, I'll tell you exactly how we are doing to crush that little hawk. Look forward to it, my dear friend, I have some fun things in store."
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    Correct me if I'm wrong... but this line, to me, implies that Chu Yan has screwed up and hasn't set up some elaborate trap, since he says he'll tell the man how he'll deal with Liang Shu after he returns from attacking the Ge Clan.
     
    Man it looks like Chu Yan is at this point the major linchpin of the bandit army.

    So assuming Liang sucessfully kills him in the upcoming fight I wonder if the bandit army is just going to collapse into a bunch of smaller bandit bands. They already seem to be creaking and unstable.
     
    Daniella_c2 said:
    So assuming Liang sucessfully kills him in the upcoming fight I wonder if the bandit army is just going to collapse into a bunch of smaller bandit bands. They already seem to be creaking and unstable.
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    Especially since that speech he gave will backfire spectacularly if he dies or is captured. If he says they have nothing to fear from Liang Shu, and is subsequently defeated by him soon after, morale is gonna plummet among the bandits.
     
    Gaz said:
    "Liang Shu...Liang Shu.... hmm, how do I explain this one...?" Chu Yan scratches his head in an overly performed manner, whilst pacing from his seat with his usual pronounced swagger is. "Liang Shu is, aha!" He snaps his fingers. "He is a mistake. To be clear, he is my mistake, for even someone as enlightened as I is not infallible.
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    Gaz said:
    "So, I do the deed. The classic feigned retreat thing. Maybe it's a bit overdone, but if Han garrisons keep falling for it, I'll keep doing it, you know? But yeah. Arrow. Face. Dead prefect. Should be end of the story, right? Wrong!"
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    Guys, can't you all see?! It's all metaphorical!

    Chu Yan is Liang Qi, our father. An arrow to the face is just an elaborate metaphor for midlife crisis and erectile dysfunction. This is Liang Qi's "grabbing the leather jacket, buying a motorcycle, calling up the guys, and going to sack Bingzhou" moment.

    I'm glad we voted this way. Can't you all see the tearful moment of reconciliation where we barge in right as he's about to behead Ge Maiyu in front of Ge Lang, only for both us and Chu Yan to recognize each other? Maybe we can finally play Catch in the burning mansion, as Shu has secretly wanted to do for so long, as Ge Lang and Maiyu realize they probably shouldn't have poisoned Liang Qi and Liang Shu with those strange mushrooms.
     
    Well, well...seems like this is not an elaborate Trap after all, then.

    If we're lucky, despite him having a relatively good Picture of Liang Shu, we may actually have caught Chu Yan off guard here.
     
    Aleadrex said:
    Guys, can't you all see?! It's all metaphorical!

    Chu Yan is Liang Qi, our father. An arrow to the face is just an elaborate metaphor for midlife crisis and erectile dysfunction. This is Liang Qi's "grabbing the leather jacket, buying a motorcycle, calling up the guys, and going to sack Bingzhou" moment.

    I'm glad we voted this way. Can't you all see the tearful moment of reconciliation where we barge in right as he's about to behead Ge Maiyu in front of Ge Lang, only for both us and Chu Yan to recognize each other? Maybe we can finally play Catch in the burning mansion, as Shu has secretly wanted to do for so long, as Ge Lang and Maiyu realize they probably shouldn't have poisoned Liang Qi and Liang Shu with those strange mushrooms.
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    You should be writing the quest, it's a better story than what I have planned :V
     
    Gaz said:
    They say he is half man, half pig, half bear.
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    Bandit with Half a Brain: "That's too many halves!"

    Duke William of said:
    Especially since that speech he gave will backfire spectacularly if he dies or is captured. If he says they have nothing to fear from Liang Shu, and is subsequently defeated by him soon after, morale is gonna plummet among the bandits.
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    Chu Yan: "Don't worry, folks! I know exactly how to deal with Liang Shu!"

    Also Chu Yan: *gets killed by Liang Shu literally the next day*
     
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