What can I say, I got inspired.
The Tormond Report
Running Avernus was a process that generated what most would consider an obscene quantity of reports that required attention and action from the very top. It would take a truly exceptional individual to meaningfully impact that number.
According to the completely unbiased opinion of those that knew him, Tormond was without a doubt exceptional.
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"...and, in other news, Tormond Rotbart uncovered a spy ring based in the University using a novel methodology that is being considered for wider deployment."
Ordinarily the 'in other news' portion of the periodic non-emergency updates did not provoke questions from Rotbart—it tended towards self-explanatory information that he ought to know or status updates from prior update's events. For obvious reasons, this one did.
"Wait, what? How on Terra did he manage to get himself into that serious a situation in school of all places," was the immediate (and somewhat resigned) interjection.
"It says here that he noticed one of the students in his militia regiment didn't have a vaccination she should have from her background. Nothing obvious, just a particularly virulent plague strain that had been active in Asmat during the time she claimed to have lived there that had resulted in a mandatory vaccination order as a precautionary measure. The only reason he caught it was because he had chosen that plague strain on a whim for a case study in his epidemiology course and had access to her vaccination records due to his position in the militia," replied a somewhat confused clerk. "Looks like nothing more than good luck bringing the contradictory information to his attention."
"Luck being involved is damn near inevitable when it involves Tormond. Did he at least alert the proper authorities to his suspicions at that point, or did he take it upon himself to handle the spy-busting? No, wait, I know. He did a bit more investigating to make sure the suspicion wasn't baseless and then passed everything off to the Arbites, including a neatly typed proposal for cross-checking health and habitation records for agreement both to improve internal security and reduce vaccination non-compliance," Rotbart replied, resignation and acceptance warring in his voice.
Double-checking the records in front of him, the clerk affirmed that yes, in fact, that was a fully accurate summation of what had occurred and that the spy ring in question had been quietly wrapped up, entirely unaware of what had ultimately given them away.
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"...and the Architectural Division is considering revisiting the standards on subterranean defenses and reinforcement after a gnaw worm managed to break out of confinement rated for Green-level safety areas in front of a class of students. Fortunately, your grandson easily dispatched the worm in question it before it could injure anyone or cause damage to the university, but it raises questions about the rating system we've been using for the past several decades when it pertains to outlier individuals or strains of commonly known species..."
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"Macro-fauna attacks on the University region are up fifteen percent over the past three years compared to historical averages after correcting for biome scale aggression levels. Overall damage is only up eight percent, though, in part due to your grandson's efforts with the Orb he was gifted..."
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The Tormond Addendum (as it was unofficially referred to) had been relatively minor. He had only somehow managed to attract the hostile attention of a very lost Giant Mosquito, which had been killed by a Blink Spider before anyone could respond. That this was a minor event was telling.
"You know," said Rotbart, "I asked Ridcully what could happen if I sent Tormond to Vanaheim. I mean, it's Vanaheim. It's considered a paradise world. It's safe."
"Apparently, though, with just the right push, their current governing coalition could implode without leaving any single group able to get enough votes together to get anything done, leading to what is effectively ruling by disagreeing committee for a century or so. I didn't ask what the odds were, or what the push was. I just didn't have the heart."
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Another small portion of the map of Tarascon was now inked out as a restricted (to everyone) area. It had been a closer than usual brush with death for Tormond, and the alternative was prolonged orbital bombardment—only itself a reasonable option because it had limited mobility and intelligence. Ultimately, the decision had been made to let sleeping dogs lie, and maybe see if they could steer any hostile forces they particularly hated in that direction.
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The Tormond Addendum being nothing had provoked more started responses than many of the more outlandish occurrences. Ultimately, it was decided to see if he was sick or if a doppelgänger had managed to swap with him for a bit.
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Aside from a slight flu, the answer had been that nothing was wrong. As a precautionary measure the flu strain had been fully sequenced and antidotes for it and its likely mutations were being synthesized. This later proved a prescient move, averting the catastrophe of the Draining Plague before it truly began.
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After extensive practice Tormond had somehow figured out a way to provoke a Blink Spider into attacking something else, inspired by what had happened to the mosquito. While of limited utility in actual combat, it had temporarily resulted in a plummet in his personal reputation until he had begun using it to get Blink Spiders to attack each other.
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He was pretty sure he'd be awarding those professors a medal for professionalism and service in adversarial circumstances. They'd certainly earned it recently.
"Apparently sending him to Muspelheim isn't any better. Apparently I also don't want to know. I'm pretty sure I'm right."
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"I've heard that university is traditionally a time for learning and growing as a person as well as experimentation, but I'm pretty sure that those sorts of experiments are supposed to be conducted in a laboratory environment with ample safety precautions. I'm torn between applauding his ingenuity and being appalled at his lack of caution. I'll settle for both."