Imperious
Without the sun of my life
In terms of marriage, I still think the best option would marry sufficiently below our station (lordly but not a Lord Paramount family, maybe) that the seniority inside the marriage is never in doubt, and that we can pass on the family name through the matrilinear line. Yes, this risks not forging a friendship with a power bloc, but I do think those are the pitfalls a woman in a position of power has to navigate - lest she be de facto usurped by her husband.
If we're specifically looking for a match that's lordly but not paramount then Harwin Strong seems like he might be an option. He's heir to Harrenhal and we could probably manage a pretty loving marriage with him. One of the issues that would bring though is that it would put us into conflict with Larys, who's the Varys of our time in terms of being a sneaky git and who really wants to kill his own family.
Though I think you might be worrying too much about the dangers of being usurped by our husband given we're a dragonrider. Provided our match is not a Targaryen, a Celtigar or a Velaryon then our husband likely wouldn't manage to be able to do the same, which means they'd likely know that their best way for their line to inherit the throne is for us to do so and then have our joint children inherit us.
Canonically the arrangement that was had with Laenor, who was the Velaryon heir, is that our first born inherits the Iron Throne and the name Targaryen, while the second inherits his father's demense and the father's family name.
Our hand in marriage is too valuable to not leverage it into an alliance, but yeah, station is important. We should be looking for third sons or cousins of sitting Lords Paramount, not their own heirs.
I'm not sure I agree. A Lord Paramount would probably fight harder in order to keep their own progney on the throne then they would that of their cousin or younger siblings.
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