Hamburg, November 15th, 18:09:
Annika Schröder was in the military hospital of Hamburg. She had wanted to get rid of the baby as fast as possible and return back for duty. The abortion should have happened today, but the woman before her had had some complications, which meant that Annika was supposed to be the first one the following day.
She stayed in her room. At first, she thought it was quite an advantage to have a room to her own, but now she had cabin fever and yearned for someone to talk to. Not the psychologist the Bundeswehr had assigned her to. She had talked to him, but it hadn't been helpful. She had only done it to keep the Bundeswehr happy, which the psychologist knew, of course. She probably wasn't the first one to try that. But for the moment he was playing along, probably hoping that she would give in to him and let him help her. But she simply didn't want to speak to him about her problems. She had to solve them on her own. That´s what she had been taught all her life.
No longer able to stand the smothering silence of her room, Annika got dressed and went out to go for a walk. It was dark outside already, but that didn't matter to her. She walked past the entrance to the maternity ward, where – not paying attention to where she was walking – she collided with someone. After she had picked herself up from the ground, Annika noticed that the other person was male, about 1,80 m, blue eyes, brown hair and wore the uniform of a Kapitänleutnant.
"I´m so sorry," he apologised profoundly. "Are you alright?" He looked at her which made Annika notice his red-rimmed eyes: He had cried not so long ago. "I was lost in thoughts."
"Nothing happened," she assured the man. "I was in thoughts as well."
"I´m so relieved to hear that," he said. There was a moment of awkward silence before he nodded at her one last time and walked away.
Annika watched him walk away. Then her gaze turned towards the building housing the maternity ward looming in front of her. She didn't know why – it was as if her feet had suddenly developed a life of their own – but somehow she went into the station.
Through the windows she could gaze upon the rows of new-borns that were cared for by nurses and doctors. Some were sleeping, some were crying and some were just babbling into thin air. Suddenly Annika felt as if she couldn't breathe anymore. All noises sounded so subdued and far away, as if she was underwater and water was slowly filling her lungs. Only the cries of the babies pierced through her mind like gunshots.
Coming here had been a mistake. She turned around and even though she wanted to walk away in a dignified manner, she couldn't help but run outside, just trying to escape what lied behind her. So absorbed in her panic, Annika didn't notice the dark uniform which suddenly appeared in front of her as she ran along one of the paths in the park. This time the collision was harder, as she had been running and no time to stop. Both fell.
"Oh, it is you," the man spoke after he had recognised her. "I think we´re even now, aren't we?"
Just now she recognized him as the soldier that had come out of the maternity ward only a few minutes ago.
"If we continue literally running into each other we should at least know each other´s names," the soldier joked. "I am Martin Dräscher."
"Annika Schröder," she introduced herself. "Nice to meet you."
"I always thought such things only happened in romcoms," he remarked.
"You´re right!" Annika laughed. "It´s like some Hollywood movies starring Sandra Bullock."
"Yes, indeed," Martin agreed. "And then they get married in quite the dramatic fashion."
"Indeed," Annika replied curtly. That line of thought wasn't something she was comfortable to talk about.
Martin seemed to recognize it. "I´m sorry. I didn't mean to creep you out."
"You didn't," Annika lied. "It´s quite weird that we ran into each other twice."
"Ehm, I only wanted to find some space for me and my thoughts," Martin explained. While he spoke, Annika noticed the way he was fidgeting with the ring he was wearing on his right hand. He seemed to be a little bit nervours.
"Me, too," she replied. "I´ll leave you to it then."
"That's really not necessary," Martin said. "I can go elsewhere."
"If you insist," Annika agreed. Then, because it was only a logical conclusion to arrive at she added: "And my best wishes to your wife and child." It had been a honest congratulation, and yet Annika realised too late that she had misread the situation, when Martin´s eyes started to tear up until he couldn't hold back the tears any longer.
"Oh, I´m so sorry!" she exclaimed. "I didn't know…how insensitive of me." She didn't really know what to do, so she just stood there awkwardly next to the man until he had calmed down again.
"I´m so sorry," he apologised. "I thought I had it under control, but…well, obviously I didn't."
"Is it the child?" Annika inquired hesitantly.
"The girl is fine. It is her mother…" Martin swallowed. "Maria is...was from Münster. Very catholic. I didn't mind. We married four years ago and she moved to Kiel where I was stationed. We were happy at first but then the problems started to appear: I wanted children while she didn't. Additionally, I often had to leave her several weeks or months." He paused for a moment. "I really don't know, why I´m telling you this."
Annika just shrugged. "Maybe telling a stranger is easier than talking to someone you know. After all, we´ll never see each other after this."
"Last year she left," Martin continued, "but her parents could persuad her to come back. I was happy. She even seemed to have considered her refusal and now wanted to get a child. And it worked." Another pause. "At least I thought so. But then, shortly before the Event, we had a huge quarrel. She thought that returning had been a mistake. That she wanted a divorce and abort the child which she thought had been forced upon her."
Martin swallowed. "I was stunned and hurt. She only didn't do it because her parents pressured her to. It just hurt so much, you know, because she didn't even consider carrying the child to terms and let me raise it." He sighed. "The next day she left me and travelled back to her parents to Münster. And then the Americans attacked."
"Oh my God!" Annika exclaimed. Martin just nodded.
"Her parents were killed, and she was hit by a splinter," Martin continued. "She was delivered to the hospital with severe head injuries. But they were too severe; they told me that she would never recover. But the child? She was innocent, completely innocent. Only a child. A baby in need of help. They told me that saving the baby would risk the mother´s life, but I didn't care. I told them that she would have wanted the baby to live, even if though it was a lie. And now she is dead.
I thought that I was finished with Maria, but now that she is dead, I feel this all-consuming guilt. Because I made the decision that killed her. And I feel even guiltier because I´d do it again if it means saving my child."
As if a valve had been opened, all emotions seemed to leave the man. Only now he seemed to realise that he told his whole story to a complete stranger.
"I´m so sorry," he stammered. "I shouldn't have told you that." And before Annika could even react, he was already walking away.
Annika was completely stunned. She couldn't really find it in herself to judge him for what he had done. But one sentence struck a chord in her: The baby was innocent. Of course, it was. But wasn't that also true in regard to her own baby?
She returned to her room. The next morning, when Annika was about to be prepared, she refused. Instead she took her stuff and went out to find Martin.
"Herr Dräscher, I need to talk to you..." A little later, at the very same place as the evening before, she told him her story. And that she would keep the baby.
