Magical Girl Quest - The Fire That Burns

affected

This line can be easily misunderstood to say that having 3 affinities (including Growth) is unusual.

What is Divinity :V

Personally, I would bold Super Abilities here.

Since this is the only place you discuss this type of conflict, should probably also mention that supers trump regular abilities.

Should probably either say "its level usually directly correlates with your Base Damage and Magic Modifier" or "unless specified otherwise, its level directly correlates with your Base Damage and Magic Modifier"

attacker's
Maybe add "under certain conditions" to the end of this sentence.

Might as well use the proper terminology (or at least same as Lost's big combat math post) of Offensive String and Defensive String. Perhaps also include a hyperlink to said post.

This is quite poorly phrased, because it implies that Total is the same as Base and that Total End is what Total actually is.

It does not at all get across that Total End is the result of subtracting the two Totals from each other (and then sometimes applying some extra modifiers to the result).

Should probably add in that normally you can only use one Spell per turn.

This isn't really true? The 1 action per turn thing is only for aerial dogfights. When two fliers are fighting each other. It does not apply for things like aerial bombardment or bombing runs.

Lvl 2

Also, this has a bit of incorrect info. If you have Flight, then HSC level ups are automatic and free when your Flight speed matches the speed of your HSC. Having a cost to upgrade HSC in the shop is only if you get HSC without Flight, which this section doesn't even acknowledge the possibility of.

Skillful Dodge

as
Thirteenth
Dark

Dark


Pillar
Fixed~
V1.1 is up
 
Justin already said most of the things I saw. I don't really see anything wrong, but here are some things that bother me.
Magical Girls usually have two of these.
You should probably clarify that this is two plus the growth affinity. I know growth affinity is in a separate section, but this is misleading.

(EDIT: yes, justin said it, but you didnt change it.)
APT usually increases at a rate of 1 per 5 levels of the weapon, though this may be changed by QM's.
This seems like it is saying any other rate is unusual. APT growth varies by character. 1/5 levels is just the best known, due to most of the quest MCs having it. It's common, but not enough so as to make other rates uncommon.
Each turn is 10 seconds
I thought they were deliberately left a bit nebulous to fit the narrative, but "around 10 seconds" is still right.
the Elven Empire is the second strongest of the Unified Light.

...

False Heaven is second only to the Akashic Pillar in sheer power when it comes to the Unified Light.
Err...
 
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Justin already said most of the things I saw. I don't really see anything wrong, but here are some things that bother me.

You should probably clarify that this is two plus the growth affinity. I know growth affinity is in a separate section, but this is misleading.

(EDIT: yes, justin said it, but you didnt change it.)

This seems like it is saying any other rate is unusual. APT growth varies by character. 1/5 levels is just the best known, due to most of the quest MCs having it. It's common, but not enough so as to make other rates uncommon.

I thought they were deliberately left a bit nebulous to fit the narrative, but "around 10 seconds" is still right.
Err...
1 - Fixed, properly this time.

2 - This is a quick guide for casual readers, to all appearances, 1/5 is the usual.

3 - It is specified that one turn is ten seconds by Crys.

4 - This is a direct copy past from Crys info dump on the Factions, but I will edit it to remove this part.
 
I think that it should be noted (from CWMGQ) that the first MG affinity usually denotes the source of their power, while their second affinity usually denotes the methodology of their power.

An Evil-Truth girl (Canon - MG Truth) may have an aura of Truth that disallows lies she uses to casually suss out traitors... But a Truth-Evil girl is more likely to actively seek out the most painful truths to Break People By Talking, and have a Passive Ability to discern those truths and know just how to twist the metaphorical knife.
 
Well, we have a three-way tie here. How are you gonna resolve this Rukia?
Adhoc vote count started by Rukia on Sep 15, 2018 at 2:49 PM, finished with 10205 posts and 20 votes.
 
[x] Sarah Meadows, The Princess
Number of voters: 16

[x] Nia Ihejirika, The Gun
Number of voters: 11

[X] Wei Jiang, The Conqueror
Number of voters: 11

Vote Locked.

Expect an update sometime tomorrow
 
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As of tomorrow I'll be starting University, and I have literally no clue how much this is going to impact my free time. As such, you guys should prepare for the possibility that this won't be getting updated at least once a week; I didn't update yesterday or today because I was busy finishing registration.
 
So, I am rereading this quest and when I read this
You grunt in affirmation, but don't say anything. She lets the silence rest for a while longer before shaking her head. "Alright, unless you have any objections, the plan will be to let you rest for a day, then return here. I'll talk to her when you get here."

You let out a snort at that, shaking your head. "No, you are going to give her a couple of days to rest before you start sinking your hooks into her." She blinks at little at your statement, pursing her lips as she stares at you. Eventually she nods, acceding to your demands, though you notice she didn't verbally agree. Not used to someone actually standing up to you?
I started wondering what would have happened with Sabina if this exchange didn't happen.
 
Cerys and Sabina both have sharper canines than normal people, but not Daiyu. You make a small humming noise as you quickly scribble the fact onto the notepad you'd left on the side.

Is the underlined part important and/or related to being magical girls, or is it important? Also, how do you notice how sharp someone's teeth is just by looking at them. I guess it's just part of why Morgan is a good scout.

Edit: I am probably making a mountain out of a molehill.
 
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Is the underlined part important and/or related to being magical girls, or is it important? Also, how do you notice how sharp someone's teeth is just by looking at them. I guess it's just part of why Morgan is a good scout.

Edit: I am probably making a mountain out of a molehill.
Someone actually noticed that?
For Cerys, it's a little quirk Gaia engineered into her because she thinks it's cute, Sabina's is 80% natural and the rest is a little bit of her magic.
 
What's the difference between youkai and Spirits, or are they different words meaning the same thing? Actually to phrase it better, what are youkai?

Edit: Sorry for asking about this out of nowhere.
 
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What's the difference between youkai and Spirits, or are they different words meaning the same thing? Actually to phrase it better, what are youkai?

Edit: Sorry for asking about this out of nowhere.
There are a ton of little differences, but all in all it's just the Japanese name for Spirits.
They have a separate name mostly because they are so active still.

I don't mind.
 
So, another question, are the new naturally made magical girls' sexuality changed so that they like girls or is that just something that only affect magical girls Gaia made?
 
This, is why I should never write while tired, or without a beta.

I thought I'd removed that months ago...

EDIT: Just remembered why I left it there. Morgan isn't wrong, it's more that Gaia is picky enough to only empower people who fit her image.
 
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