La Chanson de la Victoire (The Song of Victory): La Petite Arpenteuse (Non, SV, you are a General of France in the Napoleonic War!)

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  • Total voters
    1,137
I really think that we should try to abide by those statements:
DO NOT INVADE SPAIN, DO NOT HELP SPAIN AND DO NOT EVEN HINT THAT WE WOULD BE INTERESTED IN SPANISH MATTERS.
Spain, as Magoose said, will be an ulcer, now there is two way for us to react:
1 Go in and inevitably offence enough Spaniard that they star a guerrilla that we may win or lose, we will have to contend with the brit (who normally will have the same problem)
2 Build up our defence in the northern mountains of Spain and let Spain fight itself (and the brit if we are lucky). Then if and only if Spain call us to take on the brit we go in and out as fast as possible.

But I know that the crown of Spain is a perfect nappy bait...............
Yeah, except if Spain rolls badly one more time, it will be the worst case scenario for all of Europe.

No, I say we intervene NOW while we still can. We can still take control of the Narrative here. Besides, intervening can mean many things. We don't have to send an Army beyond Barcelona, which we already control. We can support Pro-France Groups in Spain with less outright Force of Arms just the same.
 
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While I'm not exactly advocating for intervention in Spain, letting the British get Spain would be bad for us and we would not know peace, as the British will use their newly conquered territory to restart the war against us, for their power will always be threatened so long as France exist, and, to that end, Britain is pretty much interested in destroying France. There will be no peace for France as long as Britain has the means to attack France.

If we refuse to intervene, then it is imperative that we scapegoat the British for the Spanish collapse in order to ensure they are unable to make use of any European Congress on the Spanish situation to their favor.
 
If we refuse to intervene, then it is imperative that we scapegoat the British for the Spanish collapse in order to ensure they are unable to make use of any European Congress on the Spanish situation to their favor.
The Problem with that is that Spain collapsing forever is the worst case Scenario of this Situation for all of Europe, as @Magoose said. And one more Crit-Fail Roll for them and that will happen. Sure, if it comes to that, we should blame GB for it all.

But if there are any Actions that boost Spain's Rumor Mill Roll in the upcoming Turn that don't involve outright sending our Armies into Spain, I think we should take those. Averting Spain's collapse is in our best Interest.
 
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Are the British even that big of a problem right now? they just send 20,000 men to spain, there army in India got hurt very badly and is gonna have to be rebuild if they want to hold India, they are in a war with the US, and they have lost a lot of ships during the war with France and now with the US, and there economy was damage and now they will to pay France while still in a war with the US
 
The papacy should lead the effort to stabilise Spain. They're most likely to be trusted by the locals.
That could be one Option, yes. Creating some sort of Relief and Stabilization Effort that (at least officially) doesn't belong to any one Nation and convincing the Pope to lead or at least officially sanction said effort.

...That actually sounds like a really cool Idea.
 
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Not helping Spain is very, very much bound to bite us in the ass, be it in short term, or long term.

The refugees reaching France, the proxy war, the effect it would have in the economy, not to mention the sheer fricking impact the death of a nation would do in pretty much everyone's perception of many things, and that is if GB doesn't manage to use it as propaganda against us. Hell, even if we use it as propaganda, the fact of the matter is that the problem will very much not be dealt with, and it'll only get worse from there.

Edit: This is not a case of "one less enemy". This is a ulcer in Europe that could very easily become infected, and cause cathastrophes of it's own.
 
Are the British even that big of a problem right now? they just send 20,000 men to spain, there army in India got hurt very badly and is gonna have to be rebuild if they want to hold India, they are in a war with the US, and they have lost a lot of ships during the war with France and now with the US, and there economy was damage and now they will to pay France while still in a war with the US

Do not underestimate the British. They may have taken losses (especially when it comes to fleets), but they also secured India. They are also unafraid to renege on peace treaties if they believe they can get away with it (and if they get Spain, they will renege, as they can use that territory to station troops from Britain to Spain and make another attack on France in a desperate attempt at restoring their status as the hegemon of Europe).

An army of 20,000 Regulars have landed in northern Spain, and have, in many ways brought order and stability to the North.

To the point where many in Spain saw them as liberators and saviors from the dastardly french.

Save for Don Carlos. He had… Seen through the horrors that are coming, and is marching with his army to Madrid, to make intact with his allies.

News from India.

They have completely destroyed their enemies in India. A Brilliant feint by General Weslley that enveloped the Indian Sultan…

And destroyed his army.

India was now Ripe for the takeing.
 
We might even have a Congress of all the European powers to figure out who's ass sits on the throne and how Europe should handle this complete clusterfuck of a crisis.

You know if we are to do this then we might as well call for all European intervention in Spain, by that i mean France, British (cuz they are already there) and Russia. Austria and Prussia being involved in lesser part due to internal issues (also because I want to throw Austria a bone because I believe that Austria collapsing isn't good for anyone) .

Advantage of this is that we aren't going in alone and if we get other powers behind our backs regarding Spain, British and by extension Portuguese will have to back off.
 
You know if we are to do this then we might as well call for all European intervention in Spain, by that i mean France, British (cuz they are already there) and Russia. Austria and Prussia being involved in lesser part due to internal issues (also because I want to throw Austria a bone because I believe that Austria collapsing isn't good for anyone) .

Advantage of this is that we aren't going in alone and if we get other powers behind our backs regarding Spain, British and by extension Portuguese will have to back off.
As long as the Brits are actually willing to agree to that Idea. ...And Nappy too, for that matter.

Though with our Nations all at peace now...it might work.
 
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I doubt Britain is going to be amenable to having the other great powers in Europe intervene in the Spanish situation, as it prevents them from benefitting from the situation. We may have to bypass getting their approval by painting them as the main cause for Spanish instability.
True. But if they refuse, we get even more Ammunition to use against them in the Propaganda War.

"See?! They caused this whole mess and now they refuse to help us fix it because they want to exploit the Chaos, which they always intended to do!"
 
True. But if they refuse, we get even more Ammunition to use against them in the Propaganda War.

We may also want to get the pope to denounce the British army in Spain and claim that they aren't there to stop a humanitarian crisis, but to conquer and subjucate.

Also, we may be able to make use of this as justification for sending an army, if it comes down to that:
There were also reports that an American Expedition led by an American officer, William Eaton has escaped slavery in Tunisia, and, with the help of some Berber tribesmen. Five hundred French, American, and even Spanish escapees are now marching across the Moroccan coastal desert, towards Spain.
 
We may also want to get the pope to denounce the British army in Spain and claim that they aren't there to stop a humanitarian crisis, but to conquer and subjucate.

Don't use the Pope that way, yes he's our puppet, but we do still want him to maintain some sort of credibility among Catholic world. It's better to simply use him as diplomatic channel to call on other powers of Europe and to support our candidate for the throne.


As long as the Brits are actually willing to agree to that Idea. ...And Nappy too, for that matter.

Though with our Nations all at peace now...it might work.

If every other great power accepts the call they won't really have much choice, otherwise they appear as unreasonable party and face isolation in Europe.

Regarding other powers, Austria needs successful campaign to distract public from recent failure and to secure prestige aboard. That also means that they will probably just send token force (similar to Russia in coalition) just to sit on negotiation table , not to mention they won't dare to go against France as they still remember last war, while British on other hand can't really harm them that much. They will probably adhere, or seek to influence Russian position to balance France and for protection , they'll also try and see can they get some concession from France in return for supporting their position (maybe lighter peace treaty).

Prussia is the same as Austria, though they'll probably be more direct in seeking concession (Magoose said we have some common in things we can stand behind of).

Russia will probably join because there's no real risk to it and for prestige in Europe.

Brits could be against as it throws their plans for Spain in the water, but if France has other powers behind their back it will be possible to bring them on table.

Regarding Pope, have him call the meeting for those Austrian points and if British prove uncooperative then he can condemn them and more importantly the Portuguese with Europe behind his back for greater legitimacy.

Edit:

Basically our main goals are territorial integrity of Spain and our candidate for the throne.
 
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Like I said: Intervention in Spain, with heavy emphasis on restoring Order and rebuilding the Country, is in my Opinion our best Option now.
While yes that will be the best thing, politics will get in the way and fuck everything up
An ulcer is better than the open wound spain will be. I have my doubts things would collapse so badly to be compared to the jewish diaspora however.
I only used that because there have been some diasporas like this before, but never in this… level of bad in this timeline.
Yeah, except if Spain rolls badly one more time, it will be the worst case scenario for all of Europe.

No, I say we intervene NOW while we still can. We can still take control of the Narrative here. Besides, intervening can mean many things. We don't have to send an Army beyond Barcelona, which we already control. We can support Pro-France Groups in Spain with less outright Force of Arms just the same.
Spain Dying will also have a knock on effect of collapsing the World economy. Well more then it has right now

that also would be pretty bad
Because Spain collapsing forever, which it will do after one more bad Roll, and turning into a festering wound upon Europe or falling under Britain's sway will be worse then anything we can lose by intervening.
It would be A VERY FUCKING BAD THING.

as that may make something very bad.
While I'm not exactly advocating for intervention in Spain, letting the British get Spain would be bad for us and we would not know peace, as the British will use their newly conquered territory to restart the war against us, for their power will always be threatened so long as France exist, and, to that end, Britain is pretty much interested in destroying France. There will be no peace for France as long as Britain has the means to attack France
Britain's plan in Spain is to… "restore order" as well

that involves massacres and possibly forced relocations of Spaniards.

And trying to kill Don Carlos before he can reach any Congress.
If we refuse to intervene, then it is imperative that we scapegoat the British for the Spanish collapse in order to ensure they are unable to make use of any European Congress on the Spanish situation to their favor
Trying to scapegoat the brits is easier said then done.
The Problem with that is that Spain collapsing forever is the worst case Scenario of this Situation for all of Europe, as @Magoose said. And one more Crit-Fail Roll for them and that will happen. Sure, if it comes to that, we should blame GB for it all
Indeed
But if there are any Actions that boost Spain's Rumor Mill Roll in the upcoming Turn that don't involve outright sending our Armies into Spain, I think we should take those. Averting Spain's collapse is in our best Interest
There will be some. Not a lot, but some.
You know if we are to do this then we might as well call for all European intervention in Spain, by that i mean France, British (cuz they are already there) and Russia. Austria and Prussia being involved in lesser part due to internal issues (also because I want to throw Austria a bone because I believe that Austria collapsing isn't good for anyone) .

Advantage of this is that we aren't going in alone and if we get other powers behind our backs regarding Spain, British and by extension Portuguese will have to back off.
So pull an america during desert storm and shield?

oh hell yeah…

America France called, we're borrowing your foreign policy.
 
OSP-Omake - Therese Auclair, Part 2: From Hero to Legend (and Empress) (Alexander Sturnn)
OSP-Omake - Therese Auclair, Part 2: From Hero to Legend (and Empress)


Blue: "Like I said, life's funny sometimes when Revolutions are afoot. Women become Generals in a deeply patriarchal and misogynistic Society and save the day, Governments change like it's nothing and even an overthrown Mass-murderer manages to scheme his way back to power.

...Whoops.

Alright then! When we last left off, Therese Auclair had just absolutely SMASHED the Kingdoms of Naples and Sicily, ended the War of the First Coalition and established a new Sister Republic. But there was little time for Celebrations, for trouble was brewing all around her and this 18th/19th Century Feminist Icon still had along way before her.

So, to understand how she walked this Path...let's do some History!

As France had been trying to keep foreign Armies from setting it's regions as on fire as California in the summertime, the government was going through (shock of all shocks) ANOTHER government change.

What happened this time you may ask? Well, the Directory made a seriously boneheaded move and decided not to pay the soldiers after they finally had a break during the multiple battles they had with the other nations in the First Coalition and got payments from the defeated powers.

Ya know, the people trying to prevent the rest of Europe from steamrolling France? AFTER having dealt with the previous rulers who were hoarding money and other things that would allow people to live?

(Sighs)

It's this kinda attitude and sheer amounts of tunnel vision that led to France changing its government SO many times in the 19th and 20th Centuries.

Anyway, the government was later visited by one Michel Ney, an up and coming officer under Napoleon who took upon himself to barge in and arrest the government for not paying the Army. Brian and Napoleon helped in this endeavor and the French government once again changed because it was a revolving door of governments at this point.

Eventually they managed to establish a Consulship of three with Napoleon, Brian, and (unfortunately) Robespierre taking the positions. This in hindsight may have been a bad decision cause Robby was still in power but Napoleon probably had no other choice as the other Consul position could have been filled in with a yes man for Robespierre and so had asked Brian to be Consul to keep the madman in check.

Honestly, it feels like it's going the same way as the Second Triumvirate of the late Roman Republic with Robby being Mark Anthony though minus a Cleopatra to influence him.

Speaking of Cleopatra (or her closest equal in this case), Therese had been preparing for her memetic sweep through Sicily while this game of governmental musical chairs was going on.

She took the News with remarkable grace, though she likely also hoped that the New Government would be more inclined to stop with Sicily rather then sending her on this boneheaded Campaign in Egypt. Not to mention that she was glad her Brother had stabilized the Situation somewhat.

However, one rather significant Event took place before she set sails to Sicily: She and Napoleon went on their first Date!

I should note at this Point that Nappy had tried to convince Brian to allow him to court Therese for the last two years now. She had thoroughly impressed him and he had developed an admiration - some might say obsession - for her. Therese was a bit less sure about this, but after getting sent sappy love poem after sappy love poem by Nappy, she finally decided to give it a try.

Their first date, which has been the subject of many a romance novel and Theater Play, went rather well, surprisingly. The two already DID respect each other, but Therese was also a bit weary since she could sense that Napoleon had so much Ambition that he may as well have it written on his forehead. So, after a nice long talk, she actually managed to make him promise her something: To, no matter what he would do in the Future, always keep the Ideals of the Revolution alive in both France and his own heart. And Napoleon did so.

...Okay, seriously, who let God watch Anime before he wrote the Napoleonic Era?!

So anyway, one captured island and destroyed enemy army later, Therese managed to not get the whole population of Sicily angry and oversaw the formation of a new Sister Republic.

However as she was making her soldiers learn to NOT attack civilians, she was also dealing the little fact she and her army had been excommunicated by the Pope. Because they had beaten the Sicilians so hard.

...Yeah, no one was buying this. This was just the Papacy using it's Power for political gains again.

So she had Davout take half of her Army to Italy, march on Rome (along with the Capet siblings), and sit in front of the Vatican to convince the Pope to change his mind. And by change I mean possibly threaten.

Once again, let this be a lesson on how Therese did not take shit from anyone.

However, while she was still in Sicily, possibly reading more of Napoleon's sappy love poems, in France things were on fire YET AGAIN.

...Man it just doesn't let up.

Now how did this happen you may ask? Well that had to do with Therese's older Brother Brian, who is also quite the fascinating character in his own right.

His Character and Motivations have been much debated by Historians, but most have come to the same conclusion:

Brian Auclair was perhaps the greatest Champion of the French Revolution, the one who embodied it's Ideals the most.

He had only accepted the Office of First Consul reluctantly and only at Napoleon's pleading. He felt that he, considering his Role in the Coup that overthrew Robespierre, shouldn't have any political Power. However, not taking the Office meant either trusting his ambitious Friend Napoleon as the Second Consul to not put himself into absolute Power or allowing the Third Consul Robespierre to do his thing. So, he accepted Office for a while.

Unfortunately...his trust in the People of France and the Revolution proved to be TOO great. After a few Months, he resigned from Office to be with his Wife (Nappy's Sister) and newborn Daughter, hoping that things had stabilized enough to the point that he wasn't needed anymore...and effectively giving Robespierre free reign.

Now, does such an Action speak of a rather poor understanding of Politics? Yes. However, it also shows just how truly committed Brian was to the Ideals of the French Republic. Unlike so many others who only partially supported it or only did so for their own interest, he truly had the best Intentions, wanting to give the People of France the Chance to choose their own Future without him dictating it to them.

Sadly, he completely underestimated the Effects a skilled Orator and Demagogue like ol' Robby could have on the People of Paris.

So as Brian was attempting to pull a Cincinnatus by stepping down peacefully, Robespierre pulled a Caeser and took power, making himself the new head of the government. He then organized the National Guard and mobs together to hunt down any of his political opponents, INCLUDING Brian.

While Brian was able to escape by making himself into a common soldier and was escorted by Ney back to Napoleon in Lyon, his wife and daughter were captured by the mob and taken to prison.

Meanwhile Robespierre was going full on Red Queen and was beheaded any of his opponents and those that made the slightest remark about him and his government. I mean this was basically becoming Reign of Terror II: Electric Boogaloo.

Luckily, much of the Army and its officers had gone to Napoleon's side so while Robby had the capital, Nappy had the experience and capable leadership.

Flipside, most of the Civilian Government had sided with Robespierre, so Nappy lacked much of a legal foundation for being the Authority in France. Only a few Ministers joined his cause, and at least one of them was imprisoned before he could do like Brian and run for Lyon.

Also, one Army, the Army of the North, which consisted mostly of fresh recruits, had sided with Robby, so he wasn't entirely without Forces.

All in all, everything seemed dead set for this upcoming French Civil War to be bloody and gruesome.

And then Robespierre ruined EVERYTHING for himself.

See, Therese in Sicily was unsure what to do. Robby had ordered her to keep up her Campaign and not return to France. Napoleon pleaded with her to come back as soon as possible, since he knew that her 50000 Men - remember, half of her Army was busy holding the Papacy at Gunpoint - would make a key difference in the Civil War.

And then, as she was deliberating what to do, a second letter by Robespierre reached her.

A letter that ORDERED her to hand over the Capet Siblings, whom she had come to consider to be her very own Children, for immediate execution.
...Yup.

Now, there are MANY Questions one could ask about this Order, though personally I'm mostly inclined to scream at Robby "What the HECK were you thinking?!"

Because, yeah, Therese did NOT take this well. And with her Mama Bear-Mode thoroughly triggered, she promptly declared her support for Napoleon and Brian and returned to France, dead set on making mincemeat out of Robespierre.

So she took her half of the Army back with her to France in order to kick Robespierre from his high horse and potentially drag his ass to the guillotine.

Oh I should also mention that at this time that another Coalition had formed to get revenge on France. Yes, literally a short time after winning the previous war, Europe was giving it another try.

You may reasonably ask, what gives? The answer, Britain gives my friends, they give loads of money, by the tonnage.

So with the promise of getting that sweet, sweet British silver, Austria, Prussia, the Holy Roman Empire (Germany), Naples, Spain, and Russia declared war on the troubled France.

...Okay, let's go over these players because I would like to highlight that they had multiple issues going on themselves.

Spain was probably going to war due to the whole excommunication thing, but they had the issue of their Territories in America being a HOT MESS.

Austria had gotten absolutely dopesmacked by Brian and Napoleon basically pulling a Hannibal Barca and did their version of Cannae (though with less death and more captured soldiers). So they wanted revenge but were running the risk of getting even more humiliated.

Prussia, while not as badly beaten, had still been humiliated by Therese when she was stationed along the border with the HRE, so they wanted to get back at her and France.

The HRE states were also in a rather weird position as French forces were getting prepared across the Rhine so any attack would be met with resistance.

Russia joined as the new Tsar Alexander I. wanted the money to help rebuild his country after its own civil war. So he would send a rather decent force to prove he was contributing to the Coalition to get the money.

And then there is Naples...

To say that Ferdinand III. had lost the plot is the understatement of the century. He had just lost one of his two Territories, most of his Army, and had a French Force not that far away on Italian Mainland. This was possibly the WORST time to get back into war, but the promise of more money was too tempting, so they went ahead to fight yet again.

God, at this point the only members of the Bourbons with any survival instincts are Charlotte and Louis, and Louis wanted to die on the battlefield for France at this time!

Anyway, upon coming back to France, Therese marched to Lyon, where Napoleon was planning to win the Civil War as fast as possible. But as I said, he needed Legitimacy. And for that, he had a Plan.

After a Scene straight from a Romance Novel, in which he asked Therese to forgive him since he did not see how he would be able to keep his promise and she told him that he still could, he finally asked for her hand in marriage. She accepted.
And then, in a Move showing both his political Genius and INCREDIBLE Ego/Ambition, Napoleon turned their Wedding, which was held right after, into a simultaneous Coronation of them both as Emperor and Empress of the French People!

And said French People LOVED it, for the most part. The Narrative of two of the Nations greatest Heroes joining in Marriage to save France from both foreign Enemies and Robespierre's Terrorism proved to be so effective that, from one second to the next, Robespierre lost almost all of his Legitimacy and Credibility in one fell swoop, despite having most of the Government on his side.
Though, granted, most of said Government only supported him because he had threatened to put them and their entire Families on the Guillotine, so...eh.

Anyway, Napoleon, Brian and Therese quickly got to work to defeat Robby as fast as possible so that they could focus on defending France from the second Coalition.
What followed next was so comically lopsided that calling it a 'Civil War' is honestly false advertising.

As the aforementioned Army of the North was coming down, Therese, the former Commander of said Army during her days of smacking the Prussians silly came to meet them in battle. However, she saw that this was a pointless fight as the men before her, lead by General Marmot were only doing so largely cause Robby was threatening them. Plus, you know, the new Coalition that was bearing down on France.

So she made an impassioned speech to make them surrender and lay down their arms. Amazingly, this actually worked as they stood down...save for a commissar that shot and wounded her. Though he would regret that choice as the soldiers nearest to him would literally tear him apart.

This was truly a miracle in many ways as Marmot and those willing to fight for Therese joined her force and marched on to meet with Napoleon.

Side note, this event happened after she had gotten pregnant so while it was a concern after the fact she was still able to have two healthy boys.

Like I said, a miracle in more ways then one.

Meanwhile outside of Paris, Napoleon not wanting to be left behind by his Wife in making miracles happen, pulled off the same accomplishment by having the force around Paris stand down in much the same way.

This honestly the equivalent to Alexander the Overachiever stopping a war by simply marching his troops around. TWICE.

Also, can we appreciate the delicious irony that the Civil War was ended by a couple of speeches by the two People claimed to be selfish, violent despots by the most bloodthirsty person in all of France?

(Chef kiss)

With the Robespierre Faction effectively dismantled, Nappy and his Forces marched into Paris. Robby tried to give them one last Middlefinger by executing Brian's wife - who was also Napoleon's Sister - and their Daughter, but they were saved by Minister Paul Barras and General Kellermann, who despite being pretty old and imprisoned for months, single-handedly killed two armed men as they barged into the cell where all of them were held.

Madlads.

So, everything was alright? Well, not exactly. See, just before they could finally catch Robespierre...a bunch of friggin' Ninjas grabbed him and got him out of France.

N-no, seriously, a Team of foreign agents of undetermined allegiance just grabbed Robespierre and ran off into the Night, disappearing without a trace.

At this Point, Robby is rivaling Alexander the Main Protagonist for Plot Armor!

So with Robby on the run and Paris secured, the 'Civil War' was over in record time before the Second Coalition could take any sort of advantage from it.

Therese was now able to have the chance of dealing with her pregnancy in peace while Napoleon and Brian went out to smack the Austrians and Prussians again.

However she was also given the position of reforming the French Army while the two were out.

See while the Army had doing well on the different fronts, some of the commanders noted that there were areas where they could improve to make the Army more effective then it currently was. So Therese began to issue a Series of reforms.

First was making a legal code for the Army that would discourage looting and massacres by the soldiers along with improving overall discipline and professionalism.

Second was classifying new missions and objectives for the French Army to deal with different situations that they could encounter. This includes policing troubled areas and dealing non conventional issues. This would help improve morale and prevent international pressure from different nations by showing that the French wasn't just conquering places.

Finally, she helped in setting up a vocational program for when Army veterans retire from service and go hunting for jobs. This is especially important as whenever demobilization occurred at this time there was a high chance plenty of soldiers would turn criminal and lead to a surge in crime. Plus she also wanted to give them benefits if they were to stay.

And again, I should note she was doing this while pregnant. Never let it be said that Therese was lazy."



A.N.: Another Collab-Omake by me and @Blazblade. Hope you liked it!
 
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