ThatGuyWithIdeas
Treize died for our sins
- Location
- Romania
[X]Yes: I will ride in the Parade!
La Chanson de la Victoire (The Song of Victory): La Petite Arpenteuse (Non, SV, you are a General of France in the Napoleonic War!)
- Thread starter Plausbius
- Start date
- Mature Alt. History
- Location
- Versailles
One of my favourite quests. Always happy to see it isn't dead.
[X]Yes: I will ride in the Parade!
[X]Yes: I will ride in the Parade!
- Location
- Hawaii
Ah, another "Severin, what did you do?!" moment from Therese. He did something to keep the others from being Master of Ceremonies. Ideas~! Also, MC Severin in the house! Another thing, if we're rolling out the new awards and medals, I would like to nominate Jean Thurel from the Legion of Honor, because that man served more than 75 years in the French Army, and chose a common award (3rd 24-year service award, pinned by the King) rather than one typically reserved for high officers and nobles. He also happens to be that guy Matteo carried off the battlefield at Minden in my last omake.
[x]Yes: I will ride in the Parade!
[x]Yes: I will ride in the Parade!
Sir_Travelsalot
Never wakes up tired.
- Location
- At Home
[X]Yes: I will ride in the Parade!
Interlude: The Paris Party of the Change of the Century Part 2
Magoose
SV's Questing Fanatic
- Location
- California USA
- Pronouns
- He
Interlude: The Paris Party of the Change of the Century Part 2:
You were not comfortable with the situation you found yourself in. That being, on a horse. "Fucking saddle." You swore as you held the reins tightly, trying to maintain the steed that was under you… to middling success. Yet in your anger, you remained in control. "I swear to god and all that is holy, I will ride you well enough to not embarrass myself, you nasty beast."
"Then you're doing a terrible job of it." The voice of the other man being honored… well a third, rode towards you as you scowled. He was the garnish. Not that was not the right word to describe the Dandy man's bright colors. He was wearing a blue uniform, yes, but he was going all out in his decorative spirit. "When one is riding with a horse, you are not just in control, you are also the one being controlled. You must take part in the delicate balance of the bond." He replied.
You wondered just how Murat could turn a parade into a fashion statement, with his uniform glistening not only with his medals and accomplishments but with multiple sold gold eagles over his new red sash. Five in total, for every battle he fought with you.
And he had shaved to make himself more presentable, but he had kept those blasted sideburns!
For the love of all that is good, you had hoped that he would have at least tried to conform a little bit to show that he was one of the men. Instead, he seemed content to turn the entire parade into his own coming-to party.
Considering it was his wedding day, it was something you had expected.
But you were not happy about it. "A carriage would have been far more appropriate." You muttered.
"Do you hate riding a horse so much that you despise the very thought of actually being on one?" Murat teased, knowing full well you hated riding a horse. "Even if it would damage your reputation in the eyes of the citizenry."
You frowned. "If it meant that I would be off of this uncomfortable saddle, yes." You replied.
Murat laughed. "Well you are not wounded, you are not pregnant, and you are most certainly not going to leave the parade to hide with Napoleon, not after Severin spent so much time preparing this."
You frowned. "He barely did anything!" You protested.
Murat, however, did something you did not expect. He frowned and went to defend the former Sargent. "I will make you very well aware, that Marshal Severin did indeed plan for everything in this parade, and did so with meticulous precision and detail."
Good god, this was going to be the end of the World. Murat was defending the Work of Denis Martin Severin! The man he despised!
"Who are you and what have you done with Murat!?" You joked, realizing that Severin was doing all this for you as well.
"I became a Hero in Spain, same as you." There was a pause, a rather long one as he looked out to the men that were to be escorting you. "There is one problem. Brian isn't here."
Of course, he wasn't. He wasn't going to be celebrating this victory, even if it was his own. "He…" You didn't remember the last letter that came from him. He was still in Avigon… but that was nothing more. He was more interested in ignoring the pageantry. Ignore Napoleon.
Ignore you.
"He still believes that we could have done more." You stated, thinking back to the events in Spain. "I'm still surprised Carlos didn't try to kill him."
There was a jovial, and dry laugh. "I think for his sake, he should have done far less. It wouldn't have provoked Brian's anger."
He stopped and moved his horse beside yours. "Shall I help you get ready to position?" He asked.
You nodded. "Just to there."
And he helped.
-----------------------------------------------
The Parade was a sea of blue colors and of horses and Guns. A pandemonium of sounds, with the entire city it seemed in attendance
The marching, was in good order, just as Severin had hoped, and the city itself seemed to be on your side.
The people of Paris seemed to be less chalked full of individuals, but more a class, a muster of what you could only hope were tens of thousands, celebrating the soldiers of France.
The Knights Own were all mounted, somehow, with several men riding on carriages or on the backs of their comrade's own horses. Much of the delighted and elite Cavalry of the Empire was seen, by the Parisians for the first time, all with glistening and polished armor, helmets of colorful feathers, and brightly dyed sashes. A simple thing of Murat's own instruction, to be seen through the smoke, and to strike fear into their enemies.
Their swords were at their sides, and all carried two pistols. Dragoons and Shock cavalry, in Murat's own words. They were prepared for everything.
But it was, in the end, just a show. They were an act that only cemented, not only their own abilities but their own opulence. They were like the knights of old, riding into battle, expecting to be treated better than everyone. But with all the scares they bore, it was well warranted.
However, what you saw in front of you, did not shock you whatsoever. The stark conservatism of the two commanders and their own styles at play was something to be seen.
All the men of Davouts Corps were entirely dressed in their dress, but they moved in such sync that seemed to be almost mechanical in nature.
Davout had trained the men well, as they moved, and captivated the entire city with their movements.
You had heard stories of a well-drilled army being a sight to behold.
Davout heard them and decided to make his corps that well-drilled army. It was almost magical in the way they moved, their execution of the drills, and how they moved.
As they finished, to make sure that the final part of the parade was through, you instead could only marvel at your Corps, the Empress Own march.
The March:D100 => 94
And it put Davout's own Drilling and show to Shames.
Napoleon may have had his Old Guard, but none had the experience of the Empresses' Own.
Even with an unsteady head, that was you saddled on the horse, you could only lead them through the streets, through the parade with nothing short of assurance. Once the light was upon you, you were ready to greet this parade.
VIII Corp was something far more than what all could expect.
There was so much more that you could do, but with a slight motion with your sword, drawn and ready in a salute, as you passed Napoleon. You could feel pride. You could feel anxiety.
But most of all, you could feel that you were not alone, at least for a moment.
--------------------------------------------
In a Few Hours, Murat and Caroline would be married. And you had time to speak to some important people.
Who do you talk to?:
Choose 3
[]Napoleon
[]Murat
[]Marmont
[]Davout
[]Caroline
[]Severin
[]Berthier
[]Alexandre and Roland
[]Pierre
[]Write in (Subject to QM Approval)
AN: Enjoy and vote in plan format.
You were not comfortable with the situation you found yourself in. That being, on a horse. "Fucking saddle." You swore as you held the reins tightly, trying to maintain the steed that was under you… to middling success. Yet in your anger, you remained in control. "I swear to god and all that is holy, I will ride you well enough to not embarrass myself, you nasty beast."
"Then you're doing a terrible job of it." The voice of the other man being honored… well a third, rode towards you as you scowled. He was the garnish. Not that was not the right word to describe the Dandy man's bright colors. He was wearing a blue uniform, yes, but he was going all out in his decorative spirit. "When one is riding with a horse, you are not just in control, you are also the one being controlled. You must take part in the delicate balance of the bond." He replied.
You wondered just how Murat could turn a parade into a fashion statement, with his uniform glistening not only with his medals and accomplishments but with multiple sold gold eagles over his new red sash. Five in total, for every battle he fought with you.
And he had shaved to make himself more presentable, but he had kept those blasted sideburns!
For the love of all that is good, you had hoped that he would have at least tried to conform a little bit to show that he was one of the men. Instead, he seemed content to turn the entire parade into his own coming-to party.
Considering it was his wedding day, it was something you had expected.
But you were not happy about it. "A carriage would have been far more appropriate." You muttered.
"Do you hate riding a horse so much that you despise the very thought of actually being on one?" Murat teased, knowing full well you hated riding a horse. "Even if it would damage your reputation in the eyes of the citizenry."
You frowned. "If it meant that I would be off of this uncomfortable saddle, yes." You replied.
Murat laughed. "Well you are not wounded, you are not pregnant, and you are most certainly not going to leave the parade to hide with Napoleon, not after Severin spent so much time preparing this."
You frowned. "He barely did anything!" You protested.
Murat, however, did something you did not expect. He frowned and went to defend the former Sargent. "I will make you very well aware, that Marshal Severin did indeed plan for everything in this parade, and did so with meticulous precision and detail."
Good god, this was going to be the end of the World. Murat was defending the Work of Denis Martin Severin! The man he despised!
"Who are you and what have you done with Murat!?" You joked, realizing that Severin was doing all this for you as well.
"I became a Hero in Spain, same as you." There was a pause, a rather long one as he looked out to the men that were to be escorting you. "There is one problem. Brian isn't here."
Of course, he wasn't. He wasn't going to be celebrating this victory, even if it was his own. "He…" You didn't remember the last letter that came from him. He was still in Avigon… but that was nothing more. He was more interested in ignoring the pageantry. Ignore Napoleon.
Ignore you.
"He still believes that we could have done more." You stated, thinking back to the events in Spain. "I'm still surprised Carlos didn't try to kill him."
There was a jovial, and dry laugh. "I think for his sake, he should have done far less. It wouldn't have provoked Brian's anger."
He stopped and moved his horse beside yours. "Shall I help you get ready to position?" He asked.
You nodded. "Just to there."
And he helped.
-----------------------------------------------
The Parade was a sea of blue colors and of horses and Guns. A pandemonium of sounds, with the entire city it seemed in attendance
The marching, was in good order, just as Severin had hoped, and the city itself seemed to be on your side.
The people of Paris seemed to be less chalked full of individuals, but more a class, a muster of what you could only hope were tens of thousands, celebrating the soldiers of France.
The Knights Own were all mounted, somehow, with several men riding on carriages or on the backs of their comrade's own horses. Much of the delighted and elite Cavalry of the Empire was seen, by the Parisians for the first time, all with glistening and polished armor, helmets of colorful feathers, and brightly dyed sashes. A simple thing of Murat's own instruction, to be seen through the smoke, and to strike fear into their enemies.
Their swords were at their sides, and all carried two pistols. Dragoons and Shock cavalry, in Murat's own words. They were prepared for everything.
But it was, in the end, just a show. They were an act that only cemented, not only their own abilities but their own opulence. They were like the knights of old, riding into battle, expecting to be treated better than everyone. But with all the scares they bore, it was well warranted.
However, what you saw in front of you, did not shock you whatsoever. The stark conservatism of the two commanders and their own styles at play was something to be seen.
All the men of Davouts Corps were entirely dressed in their dress, but they moved in such sync that seemed to be almost mechanical in nature.
Davout had trained the men well, as they moved, and captivated the entire city with their movements.
You had heard stories of a well-drilled army being a sight to behold.
Davout heard them and decided to make his corps that well-drilled army. It was almost magical in the way they moved, their execution of the drills, and how they moved.
As they finished, to make sure that the final part of the parade was through, you instead could only marvel at your Corps, the Empress Own march.
The March:D100 => 94
And it put Davout's own Drilling and show to Shames.
Napoleon may have had his Old Guard, but none had the experience of the Empresses' Own.
Even with an unsteady head, that was you saddled on the horse, you could only lead them through the streets, through the parade with nothing short of assurance. Once the light was upon you, you were ready to greet this parade.
VIII Corp was something far more than what all could expect.
There was so much more that you could do, but with a slight motion with your sword, drawn and ready in a salute, as you passed Napoleon. You could feel pride. You could feel anxiety.
But most of all, you could feel that you were not alone, at least for a moment.
--------------------------------------------
In a Few Hours, Murat and Caroline would be married. And you had time to speak to some important people.
Who do you talk to?:
Choose 3
[]Napoleon
[]Murat
[]Marmont
[]Davout
[]Caroline
[]Severin
[]Berthier
[]Alexandre and Roland
[]Pierre
[]Write in (Subject to QM Approval)
AN: Enjoy and vote in plan format.
It's back
[X]Plan: friends, new family, and a retiree!
-[X]Davout
-[X]Caroline
-[X]Write in : Thomas Dumas
Is Dumas there? I know he retired while we were gone and this is as good a time as ever to reconnect with him and see what is up.
Davout social because he's our dude, dude, and Caroline for some woman on woman marriage advice.
Also, WHEW glad we marched super well lol. As for other potential socials, we talk alot already with Nappy, Murat, and Severin, so maybe a talk with some others we don't often get to see as potential?
edit: is my format right for the plan? I don't do these often
-[X]Davout
-[X]Caroline
-[X]Write in : Thomas Dumas
Is Dumas there? I know he retired while we were gone and this is as good a time as ever to reconnect with him and see what is up.
Davout social because he's our dude, dude, and Caroline for some woman on woman marriage advice.
Also, WHEW glad we marched super well lol. As for other potential socials, we talk alot already with Nappy, Murat, and Severin, so maybe a talk with some others we don't often get to see as potential?
edit: is my format right for the plan? I don't do these often
Last edited:
[X]Plan: friends, new family, and a retiree!
-[X]Davout
-[X]Caroline
-[X]Write in : Thomas Dumas
-[X]Davout
-[X]Caroline
-[X]Write in : Thomas Dumas
[X]Plan: friends, new family, and a retiree!
-[X]Davout
-[X]Caroline
-[X]Write in : Thomas Dumas
How hard did we succeed in Spain? It sounds like we avoided the disaster that is the peninsular war altogether. We reduced that war's length from nearly 6 years to only 1 year. Also, When will Spain's fleet be able to help us to defeat the British? Napoleon's main reason for helping Spain was OTL was to get their navy to tie up the British fleet and invade the British Isles. Also, do Therese, Brian, or any of the marshals that came with us get any traits like the ones we earned after the battle of Palermo, except geared towards stopping unrest in foreign countries, defending against guerilla tactics, and better supply lines? In-story, this makes sense because they won the dreaded Peninsular campaign handily but out of story I can see how this is cheap. We didn't really do anything to earn it—just asking because this is a monumental feat that the players didn't achieve so curious if we actually get anything as a reward other than closing an entire war front altogether.
Anyway, thanks for the update!
-[X]Davout
-[X]Caroline
-[X]Write in : Thomas Dumas
How hard did we succeed in Spain? It sounds like we avoided the disaster that is the peninsular war altogether. We reduced that war's length from nearly 6 years to only 1 year. Also, When will Spain's fleet be able to help us to defeat the British? Napoleon's main reason for helping Spain was OTL was to get their navy to tie up the British fleet and invade the British Isles. Also, do Therese, Brian, or any of the marshals that came with us get any traits like the ones we earned after the battle of Palermo, except geared towards stopping unrest in foreign countries, defending against guerilla tactics, and better supply lines? In-story, this makes sense because they won the dreaded Peninsular campaign handily but out of story I can see how this is cheap. We didn't really do anything to earn it—just asking because this is a monumental feat that the players didn't achieve so curious if we actually get anything as a reward other than closing an entire war front altogether.
Anyway, thanks for the update!
from what I understand we succeeded pretty hard. IDK if there was a roll for it or not but we stop the countryside from exploding to bad, drove off the British, and stabilized the government (including stopping the king from doing any pants on head dumb absolutist monarch stuff). All in all from what I can read into it, Therese had a very successful campaign.
Magoose
SV's Questing Fanatic
- Location
- California USA
- Pronouns
- He
Alright so I'm going to say this:
We succeeded in Spain, well enough to where it is, for the most part, stable and that it won't blow up anytime soon.
As for the Spanish fleet: Most of it is gone.
Remember in quest a few years ago, Spains Royal family, save for Carlos and his line and a few army units, evacuated themselves to the new world when the nation exploded into civil war.
Spain utterly collapsed and it was only due to Suchets reenactment of the battle of Alesia that Spain didn't have either a British puppet government, a republic that would not have been able to secure its own power outside of Madrid…
Or Spain collapsing into dozens of fragmented kingdoms.
To say that the war went swimmingly is an understatement.
Actually, the entire Grand Armee is going to be gaining a trait for it. Or rather, army spirit.
Since we created a system and culture of merit through out the ranks of the French Army over the course of the quest, some successes that we do do not give us traits.
But it gives traits to the Entire French Army.
Basically, it dosent just reward you for excellence and victory.
It rewards all of the French Army.
Calling it successful is an understatement.
We succeeded very hard.
Best Wishes Before the Wedding of the Century (AvidFicReader)
- Location
- Hawaii
Best Wishes Before the Wedding of the Century
"So! How fares the Groom on the big day?"
"Damn you Severin, the first thing you ask me before my wedding and it's a fucking horse pun?"
"Now, my friend, I wouldn't be me if I didn't lead off with a pun. Why that would be out-of-character for me, and you'd have to check for an imposter among us!"
"Pah, as if there were other jovial, giant Swedes with the audacity to openly carry the only Marshal's baton fashioned into an axe in such a plain uniform! Were there such an imposter he would deserve to assassinate the Emperor and all of the Marshal's. You, Severin, are a unique existence in the world."
"Ah, my friend, you will make me blush with such a compliment!"
"Ah, ah, don't slap my back you brute! You'll wrinkle my uniform right before the wedding! And that was not meant as a compliment! Merely that you are such an oddball that none could replace you!"
"Such kind words from the Royal Brother-in-law! You say such harsh things, but mean the opposite, you big softie! And we all know why this wedding is happening on such short notice, you dog!"
"Again, hands off the uniform! Lord knows where that elbow has been! And stop winking, that expression you're making fills me with disgust!"
"Ha ha! You'll be joining the child-rearing club soon enough, Prince Pony Groomer, you'd better listen to the hard-won lessons from those who came before you!"
"Shut up, shut up, shut up! I'll not come begging to you for instruction! Davout, come help me wrangle this moron!"
"Oh, calling on Nick for reinforcements, are you? Not so proud that you have the infantry acting as the cavalry for once?"
"You can share about how you both are so lovey-dovey with your wives to each other, just let me compose myself before the wedding. You only get married once, so let me look my best for Caroline's and my big day."
"What's this now, Denis?"
"Nick, the Royal Brother-in-law wants advice about children, but is too shy to ask me. That and he's being adorable about wanting, and I quote: "Caroline's and my big day" to go smoothly! That's the first time I can remember that he's put someone else before his Dandy derriere!"
"Yes, heh, indeed."
"Not you as well Davout! Severin! How?! How have you corrupted the Iron Marshal's sense of humor from all the way in the Netherlands? We were in Spain! Hundreds of miles distant!"
"Don't be so dramatic, Joachim, letters exist."
"Yeah, Nick and I've been exchanging letters, and he's written some jokes, like the state of the Spanish army, haha!"
"Pft! Stop that! They are our allies now! And they- they've gotten much better! Davout saw to that! Don't just say things like that!"
"Carlos thinks he's intelligent."
"Heh- Davout, stop, I swear to God-"
"I told you, Nick is a riot! Funniest shit I've heard in a long while!"
"But, he, I- you can't just say that! The Spanish envoys are right there!"
"They would agree."
"They're his friends! He appointed them!"
"Then they'd know best."
"Davout, please, I beg of you, stop talking!"
"Fine. Your wedding gift from me."
"You- wha- Severin, you ape! I know you enjoy rolling around in the mud, but pick yourself off the floor! Make yourself presentable and have some dignity!"
"-Ahahahahahahahahaha! Oh, my sides! Nick, your jokes have gotten better than ever! And Jockey, dignity, me? Your jokes have gotten a lot better too, my friend!"
"Jockey? What fresh hell is this? I can feel my intelligence leaking out my ears from this conversation."
"Hey, it's a great nickname! Not only is it a horse pun, but it's based off your name! Joachim, the Swedish diminutive is Jocke, Jockey! My new nickname for you when I don't feel like making new horse puns!"
"You're running out of ideas, aren't you?"
"Hey now, I never said that! That being said, it is getting harder to get fresh ones without cracking open a thesaurus..."
"Question, Denis. Why did you want to organize the parade?"
"Oh, a couple of reasons! Firstly, I did it so Jockey here would sweat over how I would mess with him on his- I mean, his bride-to-be's big day."
"Shut up about that already!"
"Secondly, I wanted to give Therese and two of my best friends the best triumphal parade possible, since you're all so important to me."
"How cute, Denis."
"That is... surprisingly wholesome of you, Severin."
"Thirdly, I wanted to arrange the parade so that as many of the citizens could enjoy it, and I knew your lads could handle the longer, more winding parade route."
"Thoughtful of you."
"Ah, more people to witness our glorious march."
"Fourthly... You noticed how clean the streets were? No chamber pot dumping and no horseshit on the streets?"
"Unusually clean."
"Yes, I did notice the lack of... sewage and horse apples."
"Well... I did have someone in dire need of punishment detail, so I suckered him into the "honor" of -ahem- "Preparing the parade route for the Heroes of the Spanish Campaign."
"Sucker indeed."
"Who could possibly have drawn your ire for such a... creative punishment detail? You are surprisingly lenient for a renowned drillmaster befitting your family name."
"Well, there was this officer of I Corps who challenged a certain Captain Falcon to an honor duel, and when he lost, he proceeded to beat Louis and my son, leaving them for dead."
"Surprised you didn't kill him."
"Agreed, you don't seem the type to be lenient on those that bring harm to your family or proteges."
"France cannot afford to lose experienced officers, regardless of personal issues and feuds. That and I've learned to curb my temper from Mon Soleil. She has a much more vicious temperament than I, yet so deliciously creative while remaining within the bounds of the law. Mmhm, very sexy..."
"I see."
"And that's enough of that! So what, you put the man in charge of the cleaning detail, and he ordered a bunch of workers to clean the streets? Not much of a punishment to me."
"Oh no, he got to lead the cleaning detail. He had to inspect every inch and crack of cobblestone with his issued tool. A toothbrush! Mwahahahaha! The idiot had to get down on his hands and knees in the filth to make sure -every- single- inch- of the parade route was cleaned."
"How evil. Good job."
"That parade route was five miles long, winding through the Capital's most crowded districts... That's so evil of you, Severin. I almost respect you for that alone."
"Mwahahaha! He'll never get the smell of shit out of his nose! Usually it's "talk shit, get hit," but in this case, it's "beat kids whenever, smell shit forever!"
"That aside, Denis, how is the readiness of the North? I've not heard good things after Dumas took his leave."
"We're managing. He gave me a bit of notice, so I arranged for my second to transfer and take over. Johnny's good, but he hasn't led more than a brigade in battle. Served in the Netherlands the same time you did, Nick, then on the Rhine under the Fox. Led the holding action against Blucher at Mannheim while Jourdan collapsed his flanks. If not Johnny, it would have been the Hussar General, La Salle. He'd give Jockey a run for his money, but he's got less of a head for infantry than him too."
"Hey! No one is better than me at cavalry-"
"Kellerman."
"Kellerman."
"Ahem, no one aside from literally the most experienced Marshal of France is better than me at cavalry-"
"So! How fares the Groom on the big day?"
"Damn you Severin, the first thing you ask me before my wedding and it's a fucking horse pun?"
"Now, my friend, I wouldn't be me if I didn't lead off with a pun. Why that would be out-of-character for me, and you'd have to check for an imposter among us!"
"Pah, as if there were other jovial, giant Swedes with the audacity to openly carry the only Marshal's baton fashioned into an axe in such a plain uniform! Were there such an imposter he would deserve to assassinate the Emperor and all of the Marshal's. You, Severin, are a unique existence in the world."
"Ah, my friend, you will make me blush with such a compliment!"
"Ah, ah, don't slap my back you brute! You'll wrinkle my uniform right before the wedding! And that was not meant as a compliment! Merely that you are such an oddball that none could replace you!"
"Such kind words from the Royal Brother-in-law! You say such harsh things, but mean the opposite, you big softie! And we all know why this wedding is happening on such short notice, you dog!"
"Again, hands off the uniform! Lord knows where that elbow has been! And stop winking, that expression you're making fills me with disgust!"
"Ha ha! You'll be joining the child-rearing club soon enough, Prince Pony Groomer, you'd better listen to the hard-won lessons from those who came before you!"
"Shut up, shut up, shut up! I'll not come begging to you for instruction! Davout, come help me wrangle this moron!"
"Oh, calling on Nick for reinforcements, are you? Not so proud that you have the infantry acting as the cavalry for once?"
"You can share about how you both are so lovey-dovey with your wives to each other, just let me compose myself before the wedding. You only get married once, so let me look my best for Caroline's and my big day."
"What's this now, Denis?"
"Nick, the Royal Brother-in-law wants advice about children, but is too shy to ask me. That and he's being adorable about wanting, and I quote: "Caroline's and my big day" to go smoothly! That's the first time I can remember that he's put someone else before his Dandy derriere!"
"Yes, heh, indeed."
"Not you as well Davout! Severin! How?! How have you corrupted the Iron Marshal's sense of humor from all the way in the Netherlands? We were in Spain! Hundreds of miles distant!"
"Don't be so dramatic, Joachim, letters exist."
"Yeah, Nick and I've been exchanging letters, and he's written some jokes, like the state of the Spanish army, haha!"
"Pft! Stop that! They are our allies now! And they- they've gotten much better! Davout saw to that! Don't just say things like that!"
"Carlos thinks he's intelligent."
"Heh- Davout, stop, I swear to God-"
"I told you, Nick is a riot! Funniest shit I've heard in a long while!"
"But, he, I- you can't just say that! The Spanish envoys are right there!"
"They would agree."
"They're his friends! He appointed them!"
"Then they'd know best."
"Davout, please, I beg of you, stop talking!"
"Fine. Your wedding gift from me."
"You- wha- Severin, you ape! I know you enjoy rolling around in the mud, but pick yourself off the floor! Make yourself presentable and have some dignity!"
"-Ahahahahahahahahaha! Oh, my sides! Nick, your jokes have gotten better than ever! And Jockey, dignity, me? Your jokes have gotten a lot better too, my friend!"
"Jockey? What fresh hell is this? I can feel my intelligence leaking out my ears from this conversation."
"Hey, it's a great nickname! Not only is it a horse pun, but it's based off your name! Joachim, the Swedish diminutive is Jocke, Jockey! My new nickname for you when I don't feel like making new horse puns!"
"You're running out of ideas, aren't you?"
"Hey now, I never said that! That being said, it is getting harder to get fresh ones without cracking open a thesaurus..."
"Question, Denis. Why did you want to organize the parade?"
"Oh, a couple of reasons! Firstly, I did it so Jockey here would sweat over how I would mess with him on his- I mean, his bride-to-be's big day."
"Shut up about that already!"
"Secondly, I wanted to give Therese and two of my best friends the best triumphal parade possible, since you're all so important to me."
"How cute, Denis."
"That is... surprisingly wholesome of you, Severin."
"Thirdly, I wanted to arrange the parade so that as many of the citizens could enjoy it, and I knew your lads could handle the longer, more winding parade route."
"Thoughtful of you."
"Ah, more people to witness our glorious march."
"Fourthly... You noticed how clean the streets were? No chamber pot dumping and no horseshit on the streets?"
"Unusually clean."
"Yes, I did notice the lack of... sewage and horse apples."
"Well... I did have someone in dire need of punishment detail, so I suckered him into the "honor" of -ahem- "Preparing the parade route for the Heroes of the Spanish Campaign."
"Sucker indeed."
"Who could possibly have drawn your ire for such a... creative punishment detail? You are surprisingly lenient for a renowned drillmaster befitting your family name."
"Well, there was this officer of I Corps who challenged a certain Captain Falcon to an honor duel, and when he lost, he proceeded to beat Louis and my son, leaving them for dead."
"Surprised you didn't kill him."
"Agreed, you don't seem the type to be lenient on those that bring harm to your family or proteges."
"France cannot afford to lose experienced officers, regardless of personal issues and feuds. That and I've learned to curb my temper from Mon Soleil. She has a much more vicious temperament than I, yet so deliciously creative while remaining within the bounds of the law. Mmhm, very sexy..."
"I see."
"And that's enough of that! So what, you put the man in charge of the cleaning detail, and he ordered a bunch of workers to clean the streets? Not much of a punishment to me."
"Oh no, he got to lead the cleaning detail. He had to inspect every inch and crack of cobblestone with his issued tool. A toothbrush! Mwahahahaha! The idiot had to get down on his hands and knees in the filth to make sure -every- single- inch- of the parade route was cleaned."
"How evil. Good job."
"That parade route was five miles long, winding through the Capital's most crowded districts... That's so evil of you, Severin. I almost respect you for that alone."
"Mwahahaha! He'll never get the smell of shit out of his nose! Usually it's "talk shit, get hit," but in this case, it's "beat kids whenever, smell shit forever!"
"That aside, Denis, how is the readiness of the North? I've not heard good things after Dumas took his leave."
"We're managing. He gave me a bit of notice, so I arranged for my second to transfer and take over. Johnny's good, but he hasn't led more than a brigade in battle. Served in the Netherlands the same time you did, Nick, then on the Rhine under the Fox. Led the holding action against Blucher at Mannheim while Jourdan collapsed his flanks. If not Johnny, it would have been the Hussar General, La Salle. He'd give Jockey a run for his money, but he's got less of a head for infantry than him too."
"Hey! No one is better than me at cavalry-"
"Kellerman."
"Kellerman."
"Ahem, no one aside from literally the most experienced Marshal of France is better than me at cavalry-"
Oh look, another omake entirely of dialogue and banter!
Severin starting off strong with an actually appropriate horse pun, what a shocker!
Amogus and Murat being tsundere. Tsun with Severin, Dere with Caroline.
IIRC, I think every time I've had Murat speak, he's always listed himself before anyone else by name, unless it was referring to a superior officer by title.
I about killed myself laughing imagining Davout as an utterly savage, laconic, deadpan snarker, roasting everyone around him with every sentence. IRL, he was a man of few words, blunt as hell, and disliked by many of his peers socially. Exposure of Severin over the last fiveish years has corrupted him.
Murat's latest nickname, explained. And yes, it's been harder to make up new nicknames off the top of my head without looking up horse-related terms.
"O kawaii koto" -Louis-Nicholas Davout, The Iron Marshal, 31 December, 1799.
Severin playing mind games and resolving the plot thread around the officer that assaulted Louis by channeling big "NCO of Pure Evil" energy.
Severin hyping up Bernadotte, and a reveal for Doom-Guy's super-jacked cavalry commander. I've seen historians rank La Salle up there with Murat and Kellerman as the best cavalry commander of the Revolutionary and Napoleonic Wars.
Davout and Severin roasting Murat about the Marshal wargame results.
Severin starting off strong with an actually appropriate horse pun, what a shocker!
Amogus and Murat being tsundere. Tsun with Severin, Dere with Caroline.
IIRC, I think every time I've had Murat speak, he's always listed himself before anyone else by name, unless it was referring to a superior officer by title.
I about killed myself laughing imagining Davout as an utterly savage, laconic, deadpan snarker, roasting everyone around him with every sentence. IRL, he was a man of few words, blunt as hell, and disliked by many of his peers socially. Exposure of Severin over the last fiveish years has corrupted him.
Murat's latest nickname, explained. And yes, it's been harder to make up new nicknames off the top of my head without looking up horse-related terms.
"O kawaii koto" -Louis-Nicholas Davout, The Iron Marshal, 31 December, 1799.
Severin playing mind games and resolving the plot thread around the officer that assaulted Louis by channeling big "NCO of Pure Evil" energy.
Severin hyping up Bernadotte, and a reveal for Doom-Guy's super-jacked cavalry commander. I've seen historians rank La Salle up there with Murat and Kellerman as the best cavalry commander of the Revolutionary and Napoleonic Wars.
Davout and Severin roasting Murat about the Marshal wargame results.
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Magoose
SV's Questing Fanatic
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- California USA
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- He
+20 to the rolls.
is there a threadmark that shows what army spirits the french army has?
Magoose
SV's Questing Fanatic
- Location
- California USA
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It is on chapter 12.7
Army Spirits gained from the Inspector Generalship! And beyond!:
The College of War: The French Military is lacking, in many junior officers. Men who were maybe privates or sargents, or never held a military rank before. They needed to be trained so thoroughly that they will be without peers.
-This will open up a new military college, and depending on how funded and how rigorous its recruitment is, it can create the highest quality of officers.
-Officers will no longer suffer debuffs in their first combat, and they will know what the hell they are doing
-Staff officers and junior officers for Staff work will not be left out to die, and in fact, are encouraged to learn field and staff work.
-Remedial training for Officers are required for promotion to a more senior rank and officers must learn the duties of the next two ranks if they wish to proceed
- (OOC: Opens up OC Creation!)
-Current Funding Status: (Fully Funded)
The Emperors System: Marshal Kellerman has finished his creation of payment for each rank, first to prevent men from relying on Loot, stealing from the land they are occupying, or within France itself, to maintain good order and discipline. While in the upper circles of the Army, this move was seen as unpopular, as the great wealth officers of their station gained during the looting and sacking of cities and townships. But among the rank and file, there is nothing short of celebration. Many men are happy that, for the rest of their careers, they can be assured payment on the first and 15th of the month.
-Men will no longer have a loot roll, meaning that after an assault, there will be no negative relationship penalties during negotiations.
-The Morale of the French Army has increased in its lower ranks due to assured payment.
-Expect more on-duty gambling and other activities that will need to be disciplined.
The Post Soldier Vocation Career Paths: Once a soldier who has fought for his entire career or even his youth, leaves, he may have nothing but the soldiering experience to guide him. He may be a good man, but lacking many skills. To alleviate, and prevent a crime wave when soldiers are sent on their own, they will be trained in vocational skills, and other trained skills that will be needed, carpentry, masonry, engineering. There will be a test that all soldiers will take when they are recruited, after they are assigned their units, to test their aptitude, and then are assigned courses while in France to take.
-This will create a skilled labor force post-army career, and help prevent a large crimewave from happening again after demobilization
-May lead to a great increase in skilled labor and may cause problems for the economy.
-You will need to enforce the training for the young enlisted men who just want to be soldiers.
Gain Doctrine:
Counter Insurgency (Infancy): Marshal Soults Theory on how to maintain and occupation of a foreign land, and win its populace has become something of required reading as of late for the senior staff of the French Army. You are no different, as you have taken in numerous advancing lessons on how the Vendee was handled, before Brian and Napoleon unleashed hell upon the region, and how small units were able to combat the bandits and the guerillas. There was so much to learn, yet even as Soult finished such a treatise… he stated he still did not have a single idea how the hell all of it would work.
-When acting as an occupying or police force, gain a +10 for these actions
-The Doctrine is still very much new, and as such, will be developed on how you react and act during its usage.
-Other commanders do not like this doctrine and may wish to see it revoked or changed.
To sum it up, the reason we escaped fighting for years in Spain is because Spain is Tired.
In Spain, Brother has killed Brother for years. Father against Son. Uncle vs Uncle...familes have been broken. And oh so many just want to rest. To heal these wounds.
The Bourbon King became the worst sort of traitor. One that even many of their previously most ardent supporters could not deny. The republic proved unable to bring order. Dozens of claiments and seperatist forces had risen up. This was a decade of chaos for Spain.
So when France marches in with a force and proceeds to hearts and mind their way into the problem in support of the Carlists, who now have the strongest claim to the throne after the Bourbon betrayal of many of their own supporters...Mant have likely decided to just accept it. They could have fought...but they are tired. They want peace after years of war.
We did not avoid the Pennsular War, we just avoided being a combatant in it until the end when no one had the energy to continue fighting against a very well-behaved french army going out of their way to not inflame things.
Now it is up to the Carlists to Keep this Peace.
The preceding events of the French army invading spain after Spain joined the second coalition (why did they join that way back when?) made things much easier for us. Along with the French army not committing wanton violence against the natives, us not having the reputation of an atheist France, Therese's compassion towards royalty (this is seen across europe as Therese harboring some monarchist sentiments but we know that's not entirely the case), and a much more limited British presence made this Peninsular war a lot easier and a lot less bloody.
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A combination of overconfidence in their own strength and the general political Situation at the time. France was split in a Civil War and despite how badly we kicked Europe's ass in the first War, the Situation looked promising enough for them to jump in. Britain throwing mountains of cash at everyone to convince them attack us helped, too.
Of course then we ended the Civil War in, like, two weeks with almost no bloodshed and Napoleon and Co. proceeded to clown all over the Second Coalition so hard it wasn't even funny.
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- Location
- Hawaii
Nappy and Therese managed to turn the French Civil War into an anticlimax via Talk no Jutsu, while Davout and the Boys knocked out Naples and Italy; Lannes, Kleber (RIP) and Dumas Blitzed the Austrians and Prussians in the Netherlands, and Jourdan stalemated Blucher at Mannheim on the Rhine before Nappy went on the offensive. Meanwhile the Russians took their sweet time, and noped out before fighting us. Britain focused their own forces in the Caribbean, but failed to make any gains on Cuba or Haiti. So the Second Coalition on paper looked to be very strong against a divided France, but the circumstances changed so rapidly that even as countries were piling in for their share of British dosh, coalition members were already being knocked out of the fight and France was able to turn its focus to holding the frontiers and counterattacking. Also Spain and its empire self-destructing right after joining the coalition.
Magoose
SV's Questing Fanatic
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- California USA
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I blame the dice for that one, but I still love it.
The coalition only existed on paper, as they did not pull a 6th coalition and actually try to unify their forces and try to remember the Cardinal rule:
Don't battle napoleon because he will win.
esspecially when he has very competent subordinates.
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