Words of Flame and Words of Water
5th of July 2006 A.D.
Standing in this dingy office, trying to talk yo your mother to an audience of rats and cockroaches you almost give up, just throw the whole tangled mess of it at someone who knows more than you do. You had messed up so many times, failed so much, so many people... but you just
can't. It feels like giving up for good to step aside now and just let the adults clean it up. It would be failing yourself, it would be failing Usum who had given you the power to fight your way out of Winter and in a way it would even be failing mom and dad by asking them to come to terms with whatever ancient power you had taken up on their own.
I should try at least. ""It's not like it's some coin I can just pick up and throw away if I have to." With a thought you make the strange symbol flare on your brow and reach out to grasp it. It feels warm against your hand, as warm as flesh aught to be... and very
very solid. You have the feeling that if someone were to drill into the skin around it, then into the bone and the flesh and the brain the brass would just keep going deeper .
That's not macabre at all is it Molly? you think as you drop your hand to your side.
"You have to want to let go," your mother says quietly, though there is a creeping note of desperation in her voice...
About you not wanting to give up magic? About you being right that you cannot? You can't tell and its terrifying in the way fighting giant fairy spiders could never be.
"Even
if I could put this particular deal down, that doesn't change what's already happened in the past--I don't think the option of completely turning away is there anymore, and even if it was, I'm not sure it'd be the right idea. All of this happened because I was being an idiot, because I didn't know what I was doing and thought that I
did, and that's not going to change unless I decide to start paying attention and taking responsibility."
"It's because you lied and kept secrets," her voice grows sharper, but then she sighs and closes her eyes for a moment as if fighting a headache. "You want to fight fire with fire and everything can catch. People aren't supposed to have that kind of power, they aren't meant to meddle in those sorts of powers and principalities and when they do..." she trails off, obviously not wanting to remind you of Arctis Tor, but you do not need any reminding.
"Mom... I am six thousand miles from shore in a rowboat and you are telling me to walk back. Whether I
should have tried to wade out when I was six feet away does not matter I now have to learn how to row and navigate." You glance down at the grimy floor and add. "I don't think I have the faith to walk on water. I'm sorry."
At the back of your mind you feel Usum start to say something, then remain mercifully silent.
She sighs and in that sigh there might have been a prayer, too low to hear the words to. Aloud she says at last. "I believe there is a way get rid of it, to let it fade...
I have to, but if I'm wrong, if there isn't one to get rid of..." she waves at your forehead. "That, then we will find a way to live with it."
You let out a breath you had not known you were holding. It's not much, barely anything really, but it's a start just the same.
***
When you return to the main room the fay woman and her companion are gone and Harry does not want to tell you where they had gone, but turning to Thomas earns you a fetchng smile and a faintly exasperated snort. "The Summer Lady and her Knight are off to fight Winter, which they can now do because most of them had to run back into their realm on account of all the chaos we made."
"She doesn't need to know..."
"Need no, I want to though," you cut Harry off. "Good for Summer kicking them in the teeth. I hope they get them good."
"Careful of him..." Usum whispers in your thoughts.
"Oh not him, the pale one, I recognize him now that you are not distracted with the cause of Righteous Slaughter of your foes, he's a pari, a lust demon." What follows is a short, but thorough description of how spirits of lust bound to mortal flesh feed, and proof that no matter how cold you have gotten you can
definitely still blush.
The demon either does not care, or more likely does not understand the feeling
. "It would likely be quite safe for you to partake so long as you set a clear..."
"No more talk about pari!" you command before your face can reach the shade of a tomato.
Of course that is when your mother asks how you are doing. Looking for anything to change the subject you practically blurt out:
[] To Harry: How do you learn magic?
[] To Officer Murphy: How did you learn about all this, do many cops know?
[] Write in
OOC: Urge of the Forbidden is not just seeking out obscure and dangerous magical lore, it is also more benign stuff like an inclination to ask questions under stress. Plus I think it works as a good contrast to the excellency fueled socials up there that managed to budge Charity, even if just a little.