Game of the Year: A Naruto Quest

5 Omakes (1 and 2 canon) by Enetious
@Vesvius I wrote a bit more than I meant too...

Sometime before the Academy Exams…

Daisuke wiped a bead of seat off his forehead after he dodged another of Ino's sword slashes barely by an inch. He and Ino were sparring with each other today, and it was his turn to pick the activity they'd be training in. His usual choices are Taijutsu, Genjutsu, and Kenjutsu, while Ino's was Ninjutsu and ninja tag which involved a lot of acrobatics, dexterity, and low-key tracking. Using this system, they shore up their weaknesses a bit by training in things they normally wouldn't.

Daisuke parried another blow and struck at the defenseless Ino, who nimbly dodged his strike and counter-attacked. The blade scrapping across his armored left hand, he backed off to analyze the situation.

Ino was huffing from the exertion with a grin on her face, settling back into a more passive Kenjutsu stance and looking right back at him. "Come on Dai, I know you've got more than that to attack me with!"

Daisuke gave an honest smile, lowering his sword a bit. "Nah, its just that you've improved a lot since we last sparred like this."

Ino cheeks reddened a bit from the praise, but raised her sword in preparation of her next slash at Daisuke. She swiftly ran forward and stabbed at the stationary target before her, before slashing through a mundane log and a cloud of chakra residue. Hearing a pop behind her she swirled around to hear Daisuke muttering something.

Daisuke held his fan in just the right spot along his blade and uttered his jutsu. "Yin Release: Tone of Discord." A pause. Ino's smile expanded a bit and let out a little giggle. Then she started laughing uncontrollably as she held her sides.

"T-t-tickling me with your g-genjutsu D-Dai?! R-really?" she laughed trying to get her hands to dispel this jutsu with Kai. Daisuke chucked at the intended outcome.

"Its getting late, so perhaps we should stop for today," said Daisuke, looking towards the blue-turning-orange sky and walking towards Ino.

Ino dispelled the Genjutsu and stood back up, sheathing her blade. With a malicious grin, she Kawarimi'd behind Daisuke and immediately went for his sides.

Daisuke laughed uncontrollably as he was ambushed by Ino. It was moments like these that showed how close they are as friends.

And so the two continued tickling one another through a variety of ways for the next few minutes and the day ended with no clear victor in this grand battle.

Where Daisuke's recent competency with animals comes from…

"... So how do I do this again?" Daisuke was in the Inuzuka kennels working off the debt he owed Hana. Surprisingly, Kiba showed up to watch.

"No, you gotta let the little guys know your not dangerous, and since you not part of the clan you gotta let them get used to your scent." Kiba was instructing Daisuke on the proper etiquette when it came to caring for the more younger ninken in the compound, and making sure he wasn't going to mess up and hurt one of them. What was his sister thinking letting Daisuke loose in the kennels by himself? He showed a bit of irritation on his face, but continued guiding his classmate on the proper care for the pups.

Letting the puppies get used to his presence and scent, Daisuke began to feed them some special Inuzuka dog food, brushing and bathing the ninken, and giving the occasional pat on the head or belly rub to the more openly excited ones.

Daisuke let out a smile as he cared for the adorable puppies. He could see why Kiba dotes on Akamaru so much in class when he thinks no one is looking now. One of the pups ran up to his leg and began brushing against it with a happy expression.

Kiba looked a bit surprised at this. "… Huh, looks like Tomomaru took a liking to you." At Daisuke's confused stare he elaborated. "Usually the pups don't really try to attach themselves with non-clan members, but since you come here so often I guess these guys are beginning to take a liking to you."

Daisuke's face took on that of a look of realization before he crouched down and began pampering Tomomaru. A couple of other ninken rushed up to him barking to receive similar treatment.

Though Daisuke didn't have much experience with animals in general, he was getting competent enough, Kiba thought. He was pretty surprised though, as he never took Daisuke as the animal-liking type, what with his infamous war against squirrels he occasionally hears about from other students in the Academy. With a bored expression he continued to watch over Daisuke working with the ninken until he finally left.

A sound of a crackle echoes out from the fire pit before him. Inwardly, a melody many people knew of played in Daisuke's head. The moonlight shone on the backyard and the stars were visible before him.

As Daisuke stared at the burning strawman, he saluted the burning dummy and let out a sniffle. He was at the funeral of one of his oldest friends, Mr. Straw. He would've wanted to go out in a burst of fire, he thought.

Manami looked on the porch behind Daisuke worried. She knew her son was attached to the dummies she'd gotten him as a child, but she severely underestimated the amount of time he apparently spent with them whenever she was away. Anko, who was next to her, just let out an amused chuckle at the kid's antics.

Daisuke moved back and spoke aloud. "A moment a silence, please everyone." He wipes a non-existent tear from his cheek.

Ino, Sakura, Jabari, and Yui stood on the porch as well a bit away from the two women, watching the spectacle with equal parts curiosity and worry. They were invited by a somber Daisuke the day before. Though Sakura was keeping her distance from her friends, with Jabari following along, she was persuaded by Daisuke's out-of-character act, and went along with the other to see what was going on.

They all dead-panned at Daisuke's impromptu funeral. "… So this is kind of weird," muttered Ino, a bit worried for Dai in light of his reaction to "killing" his dummy.

"Yeah…" Sakura just stared at Daisuke, eye twitching at the obvious waste of time this is.

Jabari and Yui stood in the background, content to watch this whole situation go through, Jabari a bit confused and Yui with an all-knowing grin on her face.

Daisuke stopped staring at the pyre. "Rest in peace Mr. Straw, and may you reach the great straw fields in the sky." Anko cackled loudly in the background at this, taking a swig of sake. He turned to see his family and friends staring at him with mixed expressions, most of them being worry and confusion. He'd deal with this later, for now, he must mourn.

A Divine-level Disguise omake, brought to you by Katsuragi-brand fiat…

It was all about concealing yourself and passing yourself as someone else that's an absolute game-changer. Or rather, that's what Daisuke thought. Turns out, he had such a capability in disguising himself now, he could pass as anyone. Even the Sandaime Hokage, shockingly enough. He'd know, he'd done it already.

Through some fiat unknown to Daisuke, no matter who saw him, be it Danzo or Kakashi with their sharingan, a Hyuuga member, or any of the sensor-nin in Konoha, nobody could distinguish between his disguises and the real deal. And that's what lead him to this situation, a situation that had two identical copies of the Sandaime Hokage present in his office, the original thinking him a Kage Bushin gone rogue.

Puffing out smoke from his pipe, Hiruzen took in his counterpart with his senses. He knew for a fact that this being was himself, so logically it was a rogue Kage Bushin that had gotten out of the original's control like all the horror stories he'd heard from many-a-Jonin. "… Hm, maybe we can make this work…" he mutters to the obvious Kage Bushin in front of him.

Daisuke was incredibly tense as the Hokage stared at him. He overreached in his experimentation, and now it was time to pay his dues to the God of Shinobi.

"I know that we don't want to do this type of work, but we both can lessen our workload by working half-time on our paperwork," Hiruzen gestures to the large stack of papers upon his desk with a wily grin on his elderly face. Then it morphs into a threatening look that let killing intent flood the air around them, causing the nearby ANBU to tense.

"Of course, if you don't obey these ground rules, we're well aware that I can take care of even a Kage Bushin of myself."

And so, by fiat, Daisuke disguised his movements to be that of a Sandaime Hokage doing paperwork and worked the day away filling out dreadfully boring paperwork while smoking his pipe to fade away some of the creaking of his bones and looking through his crystal ball every once in a while. Wait a moment…

Maybe he should tone down the disguise a bit before he loses all sense of self, he decided.

Raccoons were a wily bunch of creatures. Ninja raccoons however? You don't mess with the ninja raccoons. And yet by some string of bad luck Daisuke did just that by knocking over a lone garbage bin by accident.

Running away from the mob of chakra-using raccoons behind him, he maneuvered his way past many of the natural obstacles one would find in Konoha's alleyways. He dodged a spurt of a small water jutsu and hopped over a small earthen wall that was erected by a Earth Release-using raccoon. A flame licked at his backside, encouraging Daisuke to make his muscles burn even further as he pushed his body past its limits.

Pushing through a crowd, and he made his way into another series of alleys on the other side of the road. These raccoons knew tree-walking, so they jettisoned themselves across the busy street and into the new alleyway. Fear coursed through him as he fled from the angry mob behind him, which was closing on him. He needed to do something to escape these fiends…

Unsheathing his sword, he abruptly turned on the invading forces before him and expertly tapped out a specific combination of tones with his fan. "Yin Release: Song of Discord," he muttered. Chaos arose withing their ranks, and they began to run the way they came shouting obscenities at each other in their own particular language.

Giving a sigh of temporary relief, he sheathed his sword and tree-climbed the buildings surrounding him to make a quick get-away.
***
The next morning, while exiting his home to go to the Academy, he found something that chilled him from head to toe. Impaled to his back door by a small kunai was a note, declaring him an enemy of the Raccoon faction in Konoha, and that they'd be back for revenge when he'd least expect it.

… He knew he was forgetting something that time. He forgot to wash away his scent! Face pale and eyes searching too and fro on his way to the Academy, he'd be extra careful from now on whenever he's out and about inside the more urban areas of Konoha, where the Raccoons have their center of influence in.
 
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Naruto's Graduation by Berserkslash
"HAHAHAHAHA! YOU LOSERS ALL SUCK!" A young boy yells out from the giant stone face carved into the side of the mountain. Pushing off from the huge nose he makes sure to get a nice and clear booger trail leading from the inside, using the ropes holding him up as a pendulum.

"YOU MORON, ENOUGH WITH THE DUMBASS PRANKS!"
"YOU WON'T GETTING AWAY WITH JUST A WARNING FOR THIS ONE YOU IDIOT!"
"THEY'LL KILL YOU WHEN THEY CATCH YOU THIS TIME!"

The crowd watching from the top of the large circular building that contains many shinobi institutions scream out and shake fists in anger.

"YOU ALL WISH YOU HAD WHAT IT TOOK TO DO WHAT I DO ON A DAILY BASIS! I'M JUST THE GREATEST YOU'LL EVER SEE!"

As the blonde boy begins laughing loudly he is suddenly silenced, his head knocking back against the stone behind him.

"OWWWWW!" Screaming out, he grabs both his forehead and the back of his head with each hand to clutch at the two new knots sure to be forming. As he does so the pail of pain in the hand that goes to grab the back of his head upends and covers his back in bright green pain. A small chalk eraser falls down from where it had hit his head and the hand that goes to that position paints his face as well.

"YOU FOOL!" A young man with a scar across the bridge of his nose screams out, before leaping across the distance to stand horizontally along the stone face next to the boy. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING! WASTING YOUR TIME ON WORTHLESS TRICKS LIKE THIS ON THIS DAY OF ALL DAYS?!?"

The crowd watching bursts into loud laughter and jeers, enjoying the spectacle and the earned comeuppance.

"You didn't hafta hit me so hard Iruka-Sensei!" The boy complains pulling his hands away from his head finally and seeing what he'd done to himself. "And now I'm all covered in paint! Geez." Grumbling, he sneaks a peak out to the crowd still roaring with laughter and a hidden smile plays over his lips for a moment before his attention is dragged back to the irate teacher in front of him.

"Of course I had to hit you that hard! I SHOULD have hit you HARDER you IDIOT! Do you have any idea what you've done!" Glaring with rage, facial muscles twitching, Iruka had to hold himself back from smacking him upside the head to get him to understand.

"Whaddaya mean, it's just some statues, I'll be up here soon enough and way bigger! Maybe even have them build a bigger mountain on top sos I can be bigger'n all of em put together!" Smiling so wide his eyes closed, Naruto can't help but to imagine that happening in the future. But his daydream is destroyed with a sudden repeat of his previous pain to his forehead and then the back of his head.

"OWWW! Why ya gotta do that again!"

"BECAUSE THAT'LL NEVER HAPPEN RETARD! Without even getting into all the disrespect for the previous Lord Hokage of this village you can't become the leader of the leaf if you NEVER GODDAMN GRADUATE! YOU MISSED THE DAMNED TESTS TODAY YOU ABSOLUTE MORON!"

"WHAT!! NO WAY, THAT WAS TOMORROW WASN'T IT!" Bug eyed, Naruto stared at Iruka in horror.

"You missed the graduation test Naruto, and with the mess you made there's no way we're going to let you try and make it up today, you'll clean this up and then maybe you can beg to be reinstated for the next year of the academy." Snorting, he turns around and motions for Naruto to stay where he is as he leaves to collect cleaning supplies.

~~~


It had been hours and was closing in on to the evening, Naruto was still hard at work cleaning up the rest of the paint on the monument. Iruka stood on the roof of the administration building, silently staring at Naruto working as he had done since he had returned with cleaning supplies.

Every time Naruto attempted to talk during the process was met with a stony silence, and he could only glare resentfully at the rock in his view, ignoring Iruka back to the best of his abilities. Occasionally the boy would wince at a scrape to his hands as he scrubbed too hard in anger, but he continues on determinedly.

"Hey, Iruka, you don't think that's enough now? The rain will get the rest right?"

A sudden new voice nearly breaks his concentration to look back, but he remembers he is angry and just continues to glare the paint into submission as he scrubs harder.

"No. He needs to realize the consequences of his actions and finally shape up. He'll never amount to anything otherwise, if he even can now." Iruka harshly responds, causing Naruto to freeze a moment and nearly tear up before redoubling his scrubbing, trying to ignore everything.

"Ahh, maybe, maybe, just think you're a bit worked up being so harsh on him."

"Hmph."

"How about this, I owe ya for that last test for the year three students, how about I take over the rest of his punishment and you head off to get to work on the rest of the reports, I know you ain't done them all yet."

There is a small sound shuffling feet, before a sigh is given in response.

"Alright, but don't let him leave before he gets every last spot.. Thanks, Mizuki."

"Don't mind, don't mind." The silver haired man says and waves his fellow teacher off.

The silence grows back in moments as the scarred man leaves. Mizuki gives a sigh, and there is a slight creak of metal, glancing out of the corner of his eye, Naruto sees him leaning against the guard rail staring at the monument with a strange look in his eyes, before they meet his and Naruto quickly spins back around to face the stone.

"You know, you screwed the pooch on this one pretty bad, huh?"

There is silence for a while before Naruto can't take it anymore and responds.

"I DIDN'T KNOw the test was today……." Trailing off momentarily, he continues. "I was sure the test was tomorrow, I had my milk and it was just fine, I got it specifically cuz it'd go bad on test day and I'd know for sure, even marked it down and everything……"

"These things can happen sometimes, you can't let it get you down. And don't worry 'bout Iruka, he's only so harsh on you because he sees himself in you, he grew up without parents too you know."

"That doesn't mean he has to be such a dick!"

"No, but he wants to believe you can do better, don't you?"

"OF COURSE I DO, but…. It's too late now, I'm never gonna be able to wait a whole nother year with little kids to graduate… I'll never become Hokage like this!" He slams his fists to the stone in frustration, his vision blurring from what he pretends is the pain.

"You know…… The academy test isn't the only way people become Genin."

"WHAT!" Naruto spins around to stare at his teacher with wide eyes.

And so Mizuki explains the secret test and Naruto runs off, never seeing the gleeful smile covering his teachers face.

~~~

"--Congratulations Uzumaki Naruto, Genin of Konoha."

Feeling a weight on his forehead and hearing words, Naruto has only one reaction.

"IRUKA-SENSEI!"

"OOF"

~~~

The pair are a strange pair, wondering the street at such a late hour of the night. A young boy, a young ninja truly by the strangely worn forehead protector wrapped around said location, in torn and bloody clothes. A young man, another ninja of greater experience, wearing easily visible bandages even with his full uniform, which is also torn and bloody and to an even greater extent than his companions.

The two enter a small roadside restaurant and place their orders.

As they arrive the two happily enjoy their meal of noodles.

The two happily converse.

"--so, so, I was thinking! Yanno, I took out the Old man super easily with my Henge and I just came up with a super powerful version that'll totally let me take over as Hokage right away!"

"I thought I told you to stop creating stupid techniques Naruto." Sighing Iruka can only chuckle a bit as Naruto continues on.

"It ain't a stupid technique if it works on the Hokage! And so, and so, I was gonna use the full Taijuu Kage Bunshin and combine it with a super version of my Henge! I haven't got the study materials down just right yet, but with my Kage Bunshin I'm bound to get it eventually! I mean, Daisuke's mom is the prettiest lady I've ever seen, even if she is old, so no one could beat it!"

Laughing at his genius he doesn't notice Iruka going pale in front of him and the shifting of cloth behind him until a chill goes down his spine.

~~~

Naruto and Iruka had to visit the hospital a second time before the night ended.
So, did you know that Naruto pulled his whole Hokage mountain prank the day before the test and not the day of? This is my idea of the butterflies for the starting scene, but then destiny or my lack of ability cause things to pretty much go as canon after. Also fun scenes that I can't write but allude to.
 
From The Files of the Daimyo of Iron by Polemarch (canon)
@Vesvius I wrote this, and so I'm posting it

The old woman looked down at the file. Satomura Daisuke was emblazoned across the top, and that name was becoming more and more… troublesome. It was a thinly kept secret in the court that the old secretary of the Daimyo was also one of his closest advisors, but in truth she along with that old weasel Kano, were the ones who first came up with the idea of sending the child to Konoha. To be raised in obscurity under the watchful eyes of the samurai, that would have been best. For one such as her, Naihara Umo, who had dedicated her entire life to Iron. Daisuke Satomura was nothing more than a raised sword, one who was always raised in the direction of Iron, waiting for the day when that steel edge would fall upon the throne.

She looked back down at that file. Satomura Daisuke. All she saw in her mind's eye was that young child full of smiles and vigor. Hardly the image of a skulking bastard waiting to destabilize the kingdom. She could hardly that only a few years from then, he would have killed Tokei, one of the most dedicated samurai in the retinue of Lord Imagawa. No, everything that had happened only illustrated the danger in that name.

He was strong too. That may have been the worst of his offenses, for every day while he lived he weakened the authority of his kin. The Prince was a good child if spoiled, but he was patently unexceptional, and to have a possible claimant who seemed something of a prodigy was only a spur to any possible dissenters. One could barely handle the bare minimum of samurai exercises, while the boy from Konoha had apparently re-discovered the crescent strike, a pivotal piece of Samurai skill. She tried to pretend she didn't see the Daimyo in here every so often, and she tried to forget that she knew exactly where his eyes drifted when he thought she couldn't see. She was sure that his love for Manami would fade, and yet it seemed to continually grow brighter, white hot for lack of contact only erased her flaws in his mind. She knew he wondered whether he made the right decision, whether he should have named the boy the heir, and damn the consequences. She knew that he had wanted to. No matter how he presented it, he cared little for the queen, and wished for the return of his one great love.

She looked at the most recent photograph of the boy, and could only see the Daiymo reflected back at her in those serious eyes. They looked far too similar for anyone to deny their relationship. It was a far cry from the chubby cheeked and black haired heir.

She acted as if she couldn't hear the rumors all across the land, just whispers now, but they spoke without fail of the boys talent, speaking with pride of the true ability of the land of Iron, that it would prosper even when taught the skills less suited for their blood. That the blood of Imagawa bred true in the boy. Of course, there was always the corollary that the blood had bred false indeed in the anointed prince of Iron.

Umo nodded her head firmly. Daisuke Satomura was without a doubt a great threat to the Land. Yet… she couldn't help but see the toddler in the park, or the unspoken heir of command in his eyes. There was always that treacherous thought in the back of her mind as she looked at the handsome face of the bastard prince, one which would forever have to be unspoken but lingered nonetheless. There is one who was born to be Daimyo.
 
Sasuke Most Certainly Doesn't Brood by Katsuragi
@Vesvius

Daisuke...

It all boiled down to that boy, didn't it.

Well. No, that wasn't fair. He was a genin now, that made him a man for all intents and purposes.

Just like it made him a man.

Uchiha Sasuke was most certainly not brooding, no matter what his classmates would say. Some of them dismissively and some of them longingly, but the point stood. He was not brooding. He was just sitting alone in his clan district, away from everyone else, in deep thought.

That was all.

A man needed time alone with his thoughts.

Despite his laziness, Shikamaru had the right idea when it came to certain things. Would he have been more like that if he had the comfort of his clan to fall back on?

He shook his head. None of that. Getting off track.

Daisuke. Daisuke had beaten him in a fair fight. No tricks...well, any more so than was to be expected in a shibobi fight at any rate. He hadn't like, slipped laxatives into his breakfast or anything super underhanded like that.

Hm. A possible tactic for that man? ...No, that was silly. That was old academy him thinking. He was newly minted Sasuke the man, the genin, he didn't have time for such silly nonsense.

He hadn't thought that it was possible. There were people better than him at some things in class. He wasn't at the top with all three of the academy basics, and Dai had him beat when it came to pure physical confrontation. Not that there was any surprise there, given who he had been getting personal training from for years.

He swallowed back a bit of bitterness.

He wasn't too proud to admit that he had done some digging into his rival. After he'd started rapidly climbing the academy ranks, he found himself curious. What was he doing differently to close the gap so fast?

Well. He had been intending to do some digging himself, anyways. Turned out he hadn't needed to. He'd off offhandedly mentioned something about his curiosity to Kairi and she'd begun to lyrically wax the things that Daisuke was doing to catch up so that he could woo him and they'd be together.

He had to dismiss a lot of it as...artistic license, but there was no doubt that he was pushing himself. Hard. He'd staked out a few areas of the village at various parts of the night and day just to confirm (he was just switching up his training routine timing! He wasn't stalking or anything!) and it did seem like the rumors of Dai barely sleeping were accurate.

Coupled with the amount of time he was spending with Ino (Though he was a bit baffled there. Were they not aware there was no way the village would allow that match to happen? Forget just the absurdity of a romance being permitted, the village wasn't going to break the Ino-Shika-Cho tradition for teams) and he had a willing partner to help drive him. He would have dismissed working with someone to better yourself as foolishness but... in private, to himself, he couldn't guarantee that if he and Ino fought that he'd win every time. That couldn't be coincidence.

He reached his hand out and clenched it into a fist. Was this his limit? Was this as far as he could reach on his own? He'd slaved away, but Daisuke slaved harder. He'd looked at every book and resource, watched more experienced Ninja train to figure out ways to improve, and Daisuke had Ino working directly with him.

It was possible.

No...

But it was possible...that his methods were flawed.

That man was a prodigy in a way that no one, not him, not Daisuke, not anyone that had ever graduated the academy before or after, was. Just being naturally better than him wasn't going to happen.

Daisuke pushed himself even harder than Sasuke did. He'd need to double down on that, sleep less, train more, but at best he'd match the other genin there.

He'd seen that Sakura girl show a solid shape manipulation construct. Apparently she'd worked it out with that big lumbering friend of hers. He had no delusions he'd have worked out something similar in the same span of time.

He wasn't the most naturally talented. He could, maybe, push himself to catch up on the handwork side of things, and he didn't have allies to play off of and learn from.

And that man had all of them, at least at some point in his life, and a huge head start between the two of them.

He.

He swallowed.

Without Daisuke beating him there, he had his doubts he would have ever confronted this particular reality.

It wasn't a gap that he could close. Not by himself.

He...

He would make allies. People to spar with, people to train jutsu and physical skills. And...people he could call on, when he decided to go after that man.

Yeah. Yeah. He had to avenge his clan, regardless of what it took. Even if what it took was swallowing his own pride.
 
Enter Team 8 by Enetious (canon)
@Vesvius All of this omake's XP to Acrobatics, and also up to 50 XP into Acrobatics as well, until its Journeyman.

"So… uh, I guess we're on the same team then." Mere minutes after the announcement, and after all of the commotion over the insane (to them) team assignments, Sakura reluctantly made her way over to Shino, with Jabari following behind her with a noticeable frown.

"Indeed, that would be the case Sakura," Shino replied staring at her. The way Shino speaks has always freaked Sakura out, and she shivered a bit at the kikaichu-user's response.

Jabari sat down next to Shino with a noticeable plop and took out his bento. "This kinda sucks and all, but I guess we should eat up before our sensei comes to pick us up." Jabari had been hoping to be on a team with at least one more of his friends, and though Shino wasn't exactly a bad guy, he was kind of creepy to most of the class including himself. No reason not to give the guy a chance though, and at least he didn't seem to be put off by his large stature like many of his other classmates.

Sakura, in no hurry, sat herself down next to Jabari and pulled out her bento as well. Shino had apparently followed their example as her was already picking at his bento with chopsticks before they'd even opened their own.

"So how do you guys think our sensei will be like?" piped up Sakura between bites to cleave through the awkward silence. Jabari shrugged and continued to eat from his bento. Shino paused in his eating.

"Given what we know of the Inuzuka clan, it is logical to say that this Inuzuka Gaku will be a tracker. Why, you ask? Because of the Inuzuka clan's heightened sense of smell and their companionship with their ninken."

'... Huh, Shino's pretty smart,' thought Sakura. Though he had an odd way of conversing with them, he seemed pretty knowledgeable as well. Then she heard a subtle rumbling coming from Shino's direction. Shino then continued consuming his meal.

"Um, Shino, what was that?" questioned a curious Sakura. Shino looked over to Sakura to answer, pausing once more in eating his meal.

"My kikaichu live within my body, so I must supply them with a steady stream of chakra to continue their development. How, you ask? By eating enough to support my kikaichu and myself." Shino sped up slightly in his eating.

Sakura immediately slipped away a seat while shivering slightly at the thought of the bugs in Shino's body.

'This team-building thing is going to be hard,' thought Sakura, as Jabari slid into Sakura's now unused seat.
 
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Water is the Mother of Tea by FourmyleOfCeres (canon)
Tea, dammit. First of three. Inspired by the Consumable Connoisseur perk.

Tea is drunk to forget the din of the world. – T'ien Yi-heng

The Tea Rotation was more than just polishing your social skills. It was a way to relax. Your mother had insisted on it, as being able to serve and recognize the right tea was a boon in your line of work. Gathering information, fitting in, relaxing; all incredibly important skills. You knew enough to fit in almost anywhere, and so she sent you out. Considering the state you often found her in when you got back, it was likely a cover for her games and other habits.

Each rotation covered three groups, and it usually took three weeks to cover the village. If you had wanted to do it more efficiently, you might have been able to squeeze four or five into a day. But efficiency was not the point of this exercise, nor of tea.

You liked to start your month with the Nara. They were the most respectable of the clans, when it came to tea. After all, Nothing was the most respectful and respectable thing to do. The fact that the Nara provided most of the tea and herbs to the village, and thus helped you cover everyone else, was a side benefit.

It was a quiet time, full of small-talk and quiet contemplation. Their tea of choice was known as the Big Red Robe. It was an oolong they imported, and it was known for it's restorative qualities. The smooth, rich flavor lingers on the tongue. It wasn't treated the same way as others, it was on the darker end. Oxidized for longer, but stopped just short of developing the astringent and malty flavor.

Tea began as a medicine and grew into a beverage, and the Big Red Robe was no different. An ill nobleman was roaming the mountains he stumbled upon a village growing tea. They didn't care about his money, or his origin: only that he was sick. So they nursed him back to health, with this special blend. He recovered quickly, and he attributed it all to the tea. He placed his robe on the bush that had they had picked from, and declared it more deserving of his title than himself.

Supposedly, these noble plants still prosper.

You idly played a game of collecting stones. In other lands, they're played for the stones themselves, with rubies, sapphires, and whatever else. In still others they're played to determine who pays for the tea. Here, they were to impart a useful skill. The ability to quickly estimate how many of something your foes have in reserve, how to allocate your resources, and most importantly, how to deal with people smarter than you. The game was not a game with two players, it was a scam. The first player can always win. With three or more players, however... Even if everyone played perfectly, it was a toss up, as their stratagems collided. In short, it was perfect for the Naras.

You drink your tea as they do: slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the world earth revolves. Slowly, evenly, without rushing toward the future. When the pot is empty, only then is it time for money to change hands. You left with tea-leaves, fruit, and spices.

The next stop on your rotation was the Aburame clan. They required the most preparation, and you often started the night before. It had to be mixed with the right extracts and cooled, and you carried it with you in a thermos.

The Aburame compound was always full of life, as much as the Nara compound was full of leisure. But even they had time for tea. Especially yours. They brought out tall, slender glasses for them and the shaker for you. Cold tea and fruit syrups were added to the shaker, and you shook with a vigor that only Gai could have matched. They accepted the result as they always did, a quiet respect.

The fruit you'd procured at the Nara compound was divided among those present, and the cups were poured. The Aburame did not like the heat, for obvious reasons, so a cold tea was the most appropriate for them. This was also an oolong, though not one of a special pedigree. A roasted flavor, a slight tannic flavor cut by the fruit sugars, it was cooling on a warm day, and energizing on a cold one. But that is not what made it special.

Teas vary as much in appearance as the different faces of men. This was not a dark pool, or a sparkling green cup. It had a thick froth, lustrous like freshly fallen snow, and resplendent like the spring's blossom. It could be mistaken for an alcoholic beverage, especially considering how delighted the Aburame were. Then again, you treated both them and their inhabitants.

You left with a jar of fresh honey, enough to last the month. The next stop was the culmination of today's chores. The Akimichi clan were finicky, and it had taken several tries to create what they desired. All others loved their simplicity, but for the Akimichi, every meal must be properly spiced, and this included tea and snacks.

These leaves were supposed to be holy ones, perfect for opening the third eye. Those who didn't know better would assume you'd save them for the Yamanaka clan. But Yamanaka did not need help. Nor did they want it. For the Akimichi, however, to experience more, to live more was a great blessing. If you didn't add the spices, it would be a light brown orange with a slight flowery and fruity aroma. The spices, however add their own life and color to it. The fennel adds a touch of sweetness, the ginger and cinnamon some heat. The orange peel adds a touch of sour, and that citric acid sparkle. The cardamom and cloves change the texture, numbing the tongue slightly, while giving the slightly medicinal flavor. The fact that most of these are good for the joints is not lost on you.

And then the Aburame honey. The spice blend, and the connection to the other clans, is what really sold them on your tea skills. Anyone could take leaves, water, and heat and make something a hungry man would drink. But only you could make a hungry man forget his food, if only for a moment. You could quiet the din of the kitchen, you could make them forget tomorrow.

The conversation was full of local gossip, as well as tips and tricks for food preparation. It was well known that you were a well rounded man, seeking to be more than just a tool. Comfortable anywhere. A good husband, a good friend. Which would, ironically, make you even better as a tool for the village.

Still, if you ever failed or retired, they'd help you get a tea shop. And they probably weren't alone.
Edit: crap, I forgot to tag @Vesvius . Pretty sure they don't work in Edits, so I'll quote tag him later.
Edit2: maybe they do. Huh.
 
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The Contest by Katsuragi
@Vesvius

He had to say, his current contest wasn't the most dignified thing that he had ever done, and even that was a bit if an understatement.

It wasn't his fault though, and if anyone asked that was his story. He had been sitting in the park, minding his own buismrss, and replenishing his enjoyment motive with a liberal application of reading when he had felt the need come on.

No one else had been around, and so he'd decided to do so in the nearby woods.

He had just returned from the woods and started to read again when he heard footsteps approaching. A few minutes later Kiba walked into the clearing.

"Hey Dai." He said with a cheery wave. "Out training?"

"Yeah." You gave him a small smile. You got along with Kiba well enough, and any awkwardness with each other's families was just an understood fact of life for boys of your age with hot relatives.

He paused and sniffed.

"Did you..."

Oh. Right. His sense of smell. Awkward.

"...mark your territory in my chunk of woods?"

You blinked slowly. "Your...chunk of woods?"

He growls lightly before giving you a firm nod. "Yes. Training grounds 6 and 8 are mine. You should have been able to smell it."

"Ah. Kiba, you know most of us don't have your sense of smell, right?"

He pauses. "...oh...yeah. Right. Well, just keep it in mind in the future, ok?"

"Not to be clanist, but is that a clan thing?"

He shrugs. "Sure. All males of the clan have set territories. We mark them, patrol them, and keep the local wildlife under control in them."

Huh. That made...an odd kinda sense. Distributed wildlife control.

"...what about the squirrels?" You're not sure where that came from.

"Maaan. I have no idea what you have against squirrels. Keep your hate boner in check dude. They play a vital role in the local ecosystem."

No. They were all horrible menaces that needed to be dealt with. You just knew they were plotting your destruction.

"Anyhow. Even if you didn't know better, I can't let this slide. You marked in my territory."

You roll your eyes. "And?"

"Aaaand. You need to be punished. So, I think you're going to pay for my lunch."

"...no."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yeah."

"It's not happening, Kiba."

He shrugs. "Well, you made me do this. Guess we're going to have to go with an old show of dominance."

You return the shrug and stand up, grabbing your sword. If that's the way he wants to play, you both know how it's going to go.

"Nah nah." He waves his hands in front of him, a bit too frantically. "As the showey of dominance, I get to pick the contest."

Not those words. Not those dreaded words. Gai had made it clear that a man never turned down a contest from a potential rival, no matter how absurd. As as Hana's brother, he qualified. Crushe's siblings totally counted, according to Gai.

"So, here's how things are going to work..."


..............


And that's how you found yourself in a good old rousing contest of who could mark the most territory in 72 hours. Thank the game for your skills in getting around, Kiba could fucking move.
 
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A Teapot, it's Father by FourmyleOfCeres (canon)
@Vesvius Part two.
Part One can be found Here.
This morning's tea makes yesterday distant.

The next tea rotation had come. Last week's adventure fed into this week's, the honey being the easiest to use. But the herbs from the Nara were going to be important today. First it was the Inuzuka. In a way, you both loved and dreaded this.

The Inuzuka clan had their own way of doing things, one different from any of the other clans, major or minor. The reason was that they were in their own way closest to you. It was farther back in their history, of course, but it was right there in the name. One of eight families blessed by the Inugami. One of eight samurai clans, to be precise. Their life had changed and drifted, but at heart they were still loyal and fierce protectors.

Everything your mother had told you about her home country was twisted and made profane by them. The worst of the samurai, the ones who were like wild dogs, kept in check only by the collars of their masters. And yet, they were still civilized, perhaps more so. They lived so much, knew so much. It wasn't that they were less human or less formal than anyone else. It was that they were more human.

The lived in a constant state of information overload, and only made it worse when they were using their control of their partners bodies. Though their tea time was less ritualized than others, it was still important. Tea was a sort of spiritual refreshment, an elixir of clarity and wakeful tranquility. Which was not to say the meeting was ever tranquil.

They did not take honey, for to them love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea. After all, they could smell who had been with whom, and they were curious by nature. Which meant that your not-a-relationship with Hana and Kiba's closeness with your mother were ever-green topics. You'd come to accept that your blush and ire were the price for the mushrooms they collected from the forest.

Their tea of choice was a plainer one. The Straight Valley, a black that was dried in a more rapid manner than others. It was done in a wok over resinous pine, and the smoke mingled naturally. It was never force smoked, no matter if that was becoming more popular. It was fruity, but not overly sweet, resembling in someways dried lychee.

There were imitators, of course, that used actual lychee juice to give their black teas that flavor. Which was fair, because not everyone could handle the rest of it. The pine smoke impregnated the leaves, and gave it all a warming flavor. It was like drinking a campfire, really. A soothing, warming experience. The perfect thing to gather around after a long shift or just to relax with.

You took your mushrooms and put them away in your pack, to be dried later. It was always cheapest to get from the foragers than the shop keepers, and you doubted the Nara would mind.

The Yamanaka Clan was next, and while you had many friends there, there was the issue of Inoichi himself. You had hoped that spending time with him and the others without any expectation of your best friend being there would cool his temper and allow him to warm up to you. Had hoped. You no longer had such illusions.

Inoichi himself felt that the thirst for tea is never far from one's craving for beauty. And what other beauty would a man your age be seeking than his princess? This left the whole affair rather frosty despite the steam of the cups and the joy of the sweets. If he spoke, it would only be a pleasant word or two; and tea became something less of a social occasion and more of a meditation.

That suited you just fine, in truth. The cup bought you a few minutes' peace among the constant battles of life. Kasai relaxed alongside you, when she could. Whether she believed as her husband did, you knew not. But you knew that all of you resorted to only using words when you could no longer communicate by gesture and mood alone. Considering that the Yamanaka were known for their ability to read people, with or without their clan techniques, this meant speech had become rare indeed.

The Downy Tips from the Great Gate were your choice here. It originated from a border town and was traditionally served to dignitaries. The young hairy buds were harvested for it, and they became wiry when processed. They were strong enough for two infusions, and this often meant that you stayed here the second longest. The tea itself came out a wonderful vermilion, with a smokey flavor and little of the floral scent that surrounded the shop itself. It tasted almost of roast chestnuts, to be honest. What it was known for, however, was fostering open communication and opening hearts. If only it allowed Inoichi to see that you had no designs on his daughter.

They provided the snacks, gelatinous things covered in powdered sugar. They were sweetened with extracts from various flowers and fruits, and were the culmination of cooperation between the Yamanaka, Akimichi, and Nara clans. The bones from the Akimichi's meals and restaurants were boiled to become the gelatin, the flowers the Yamanaka grew added the flavor, and spices and herbs from the Nara tempered it all. It was a symbol of their synergy, and a reminder that you would not and could not intrude on it.

Which you accepted, and understood when Inoichi had asked you to deliver a box to your mother after graduation. This did not stop you from purchasing edible flowers and flowers for tea from them. And the occasional box of those sweets.

The last group you visited was not a clan, at least not by birth. The Academy Teachers were as dear to you as any family, and deserved as much as anyone could give. You knew what terrors kids could be, you had just been one of those terrors. The tea you brought for them was not intended to ingratiate. It was field medicine for the mind and soul.

You chose a pure Mountain Tea for the teachers, in part because there were so many of them that something more distinct would be sure to irritate someone. Crisp, clean green leaves with more of a sparkling flavor than the common one they'd get for themselves. It was a bit pricier, but it was also suitable for many infusions. This little secret let you get through much of the staff without your pocket-book sobbing.

The snacks were whatever the teachers brought for themselves and whatever you had grabbed on your wanderings. They had joked that you were rushing to become a professor as soon as you graduated, and you'd dodged by saying that learning should not stop simply because school had come to an end.

The fact that you were no longer a student meant that they were more open about their gripes, and this in turn gave you insight into the village and the little pieces of politics that you would have to be aware of in the future. You also picked up tips and tricks here and there. Some on saving money, some on saving time.

Once you'd finished, it was time to head home again, and prepare for next week. The part of the rotation you most dreaded...

Okay, there's a detail here that I absolutely have to explain. Why are the Inuzuka clan related, albeit distantly, to Samurai? Because, they are! The Inuzuka clan are named after one of the eight "Dog Samurai" from Nansō Satomi Hakkenden. The main characters are all half brothers all descended from a dog spirit and the shogun's daughter. So uh... The Inuzuka are also descended from the Bastard Son of Samurai. Yeah.

The Nansō Satomi Hakkenden is one of those things that doesn't need explanation over there, every decade there's an adaptation or two of it. You can find a translation to English in progress if you look. You can also find an Anime Adaption, though I don't know if it's streaming anywhere(legally).

(Edited to clarify things a little)
 
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The Prank by KnightofTempest (canon)
@Vesvius I made a thing!

The Prank

Naruto was practically vibrating with Anticipation. Today was the day. He hadn't pranked Satomura since that thing with the Fan way back at the start of the Year, and that had only turned out like it did because the fan was a family heirloom. He figured that so long as he didn't mess with Daisuke's Fan or Sword he would be able to prank the Pretty Boy without too many consequences.

Oh, he'd thought long and hard about how to get Satomura back for being such an arrogant Prick. Really, the guy was almost as bad as the Teme, and Satomura didn't even have the excuse of being an Uchiha to cover for his bad attitude! Naruto was struck with a bit of brilliance last night. What did Satomura put the most effort into on a day to day basis? Obviously his looks! The Guy was like the Definition of Bishounen, he could probably be mistaken for a girl if looked at from far enough away!

So Naruto had done the legwork, found out where Satomura lived, what places he frequented, what times he was out and about. He'd been trailing Satomura for about a week now, using his stealth and Henge to best effect. People often looked down on Naruto's Skills because he usually skipped lessons or did things his own way, like with Taijutsu, where he used a combination of improvisation and outlasting his opponents to see him through the day. In actuality, Naruto was highly skilled at Stealth, Trapmaking, and Henge. He had to be to pull off so many pranks and consistently escape ANBU pursuit. He was sure Satomura hadn't noticed him.

That night, while Satomura was out doing evening training and his mom was out doing. . .whatever it was rich ladies do at night to pass the time, Naruto Snuck into Daisuke's House using the spare key he had observed being placed in the bottom of a water feature in his back garden. The hiding place would have fooled a lot of people, but Naruto had been observing Daisuke for about a week and a half now.

Entering the Satomura Household from the back garden, Naruto crept to Daisuke's Bathroom. He had to be quick about this, he wouldn't have much time if Daisuke came back from Evening Training with the weird bushybrows taijutsu sensei he had and his team. Spotting his target, Naruto quickly poured out Daisuke's Shampoo down the drain and filled the Bottle with a concoction of his own design that would remove Daisuke's Hair. It was the beginning of the Marking Period so Daisuke should grow it back in time for the end. It was just a little harmless prank. Satomura couldn't be mad at him for that, right?

When he was done here, he quickly exited the Satomura House the same way he entered, relocking the back door and placing the Key back in the bottom of the Water Feature in the Back Garden. Daisuke should be none the wiser and tomorrow he would be bald in class. Naruto couldn't wait. . .

XXXX

The Next Day however, Daisuke walked into class with his hair still intact and Naruto couldn't believe it. He had a grimace on his face the entire day all the way up until Taijutsu Sparring, where he had been paired up with Daisuke. The pair made the seal of conflict before the Match Started and it looked like Daisuke was glaring Daggers at Naruto.

"I Know you were in my house, you replaced my Shampoo." Intoned Daisuke, dangerously.

Naruto Gulped at the tone and said, "You look fine, it was just a harmless prank."

"Naruto, what is one of the three Ninjutsu we learn at the Academy?" Asked Daisuke, still in that low tone.

"Henge? You're Under Henge?" Asked Naruto.

"My Reserves and Control are good enough that I can keep this up until I go home. You on the other hand. . .Well it's time for you to take your medicine." Intoned Daisuke.

Naruto gulped, "H-hey, can't we talk this out?" He asked.

"This is for your own good Naruto, you need to learn to pick your targets." Replied Daisuke.

Daisuke beat Naruto six ways from Sunday in that spar, using techniques taught to him by Maito Gai. Naruto was so sore for about a day afterwards that he thought he would never recover. Of course, he did eventually, but there was one thing for damn certain.

Naruto would never prank Satomura Daisuke ever again. . .
 
Manami and Anko Discuss Dai's Placement by Katsuragi (canon)
@Vesvius

Appologies for errors. Composed on cellphone.

Seperate post for threadmark reasons.

"Kurenai huh?" Anko muses. "Yeah, that's a pretty good match. Lucky kid too."

Manami sips on her mixed drink. "How so?"

"She's a dedicated teacher at heart. If she wasn't so skilled, she'd have wound up teaching at the academy. They don't stick our elite behind desks though, so she's been chomping at the bit to be officially recognized as an elite so she could take on a team."

Manami smiles lightly. "That does sound like an excellent jounin for my boy to get...but it sounds like she's new to her rank?"

Anko snorts. "I forget some common sense stuff is lost on you because you're not a ninja. She's an elite. Best of the best. You know I'm a certified badass, right?"

A nod from the mother in the room. "Kurenai could kick my ass all up and down the village without breaking a sweat, and that's without her specialty. Even with a freshly minted one, there's no elite jounin that doesn't make enemies that hear there name piss themselves a bit."

Sip. "Her specialty?"

Anko grins. "Oh, yeah. Kurenai is the genjutsu mistress of the villiage. Full on recognized master, no one's better at it than her, full stop. Genjutsu was never a major focus of the village. The Uchiha dominated the field innately because of that Sharingan of theirs, but she's had a natural talent with it since she was a kid and she's pushed it to the limit. Reminds me of your kid a bit there."

Manami blinked in surprise for once. "With the kind of training he did, I assumed he was more the hit them type?"

Another snort from Anko. "Yeah, sure. That's where he's been working his butt of the hardest. But I've seen his exam scores and looked over records. He's already developed and trained up an original genjutsu. In the academy. So yeah, he's got that sword and he trains with it near every day, and he's had personal training from Gai on taijutsu. So it's no wonder he's amazing in a scrap for his age. But that skill with illusions? That's natural talent if I've ever seen it."

Manami placed her glass down. "So he'll be staying out of direct fights and disabling enemies with illusions?"

Anko shook her head with a smirk. "Maybe if he'd had a different mentor growing up. No, your boy is almost certainly going to be focusing on disabling and disorienting with his skills so he can hit them with his fists or stick them with the pointy end. He's a brawler at heart. Anything else he does is supplemental to that."

Dai's mother nods at that. "Sounds more like him" she murmurs.

"Boy is going to be a terror, I tell you. Give him a few years and I wouldn't want to be on the other side from him. Won't know which was is up or my ass from a hole in the ground while he's sticking me with that sword of his..."

"Mmm. It does sound effective, and safer than just being a straight brawler..."

"Kids gonna be alright, Manami. With his skills, drive, and natural talent, he's going to go far. Wouldn't be surprised if he makes chuunin at the exams in a few months. Got money riding on it, in fact."

"Oh?" A quirked eyebrow. "Well, that sounds like something I must get in on. Say 100,000 on my boy?"

Anko grins. "Sure. I'll put it in for you."

"Also, I don't suppose I could meet this Kurenai?"

Anko shrugs. "Well duh. Of course you can. She's a good friend of mine. I can drag her out the next time we go drinking.

Manami smiles at that. "Excellent."
 
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