You cannot cheat on your friends. You just can't. That's not how friendship works. Even if you have friends in common- even if those friends usually come as a pair!- it does not count as infidelity if you hang out with one person instead of another. It's just acknowledging the facts.
That's what Manami told herself as she settled onto the park. It wasn't helping the guilt even slightly. Still, she needed help from someone who at least understood politeness. Anko and Tsume just... wouldn't understand.
Her guest seemed to have no such issues.
"So, what seems to be the trouble, Manami?"
"I wouldn't say trouble, as such. It's more..." she sighed. "Can I trust in your discretion?"
"Of course," he replied, looking offended that she even had to ask.
"Well... since Daisuke left the nest, I've been... well."
"At a loose end?"
"Exactly, yes. So I've been thinking about what I could do to fill the time. I thought I might get a job."
"Excellent idea."
"Thank you."
"But, if I might be direct, I don't see how I can be of much help. My areas of influence are a little... shall we say, specialised."
"No, I realise that. It's more... given your skillset, I thought you might make a good sounding board."
"Alright..."
"Do you know anyone who understands the complexity of courtly etiquette better than me?"
"Well no, of course not, but-"
"Don't be coy. You're popular around the village."
"With ninja, yes. Civilians tend to be a bit put-off."
"Besides the point entirely. What about social skills in general?"
"...Compared to you?"
"Yes."
"A few, but they're all social specialists themselves. Members of the diplomatic corps, or T&I Interrogators."
"...really?"
"Oh yes. Quite a few of them don't bother with torture. Just pick the right tea ceremony, create the right atmosphere, and people will tell you anything."
"When you put it like that it's obvious."
"It strikes me we're getting sidetracked."
"Yes. Yes, of course. My point is, I have an absolute wealth of knowledge on human interaction that might be very useful to the village."
"...I think I see where you're going with this. You want to teach the social trainees."
"Not immediately. I would imagine there would be a question of security clearance."
"Naturally. But that would be the end goal."
"Yes. What do you think?"
A pause.
"I think it would be difficult, but... I also can't think of anyone more qualified."
"Flatterer. But you know ninja better than I do. Do you think it's feasible?"
"Depends how you go about it. If you just march into the Hokage's tower demanding work, then you'll be lucky if they just laugh you out of the door."
"Well, obviously."
"How did you want to go about it?"
"I thought I'd start in the village; offering etiquette and elocution lessons to civilian girls."
"And then branch out to the civilian-born ninja."
"Exactly. And when I do make that transition, I'd offer a discount for telling their friends. From an outside perspective, it'll look like I'm looking for new clients-"
"-which you are, but it'll also serve to get your name out there in the wider shinobi community. Very clever. You realise they'll spot what you're doing, though."
"Oh, of course. Underneath the underneath and all that. But if I'm good enough, it won't matter. They'll know I'm manipulating them and I'll know they know I'm manipulating them but they'll do it anyway because I'm just so charming."
"...That you were not born a ninja is a tragedy, Manami."
"So you approve? There's no obvious problems I'm missing?"
"Nothing I can see."
"Good. Thank you for taking the time to listen to me."
"Think nothing of it. Now, I don't mean to be rude, but you mentioned a game of fetch?" asked Kuromaru, wagging his tail.