"You said that you had something important to discuss with me, mother?" You state formally as yo walk into the living room. Manami, said mother, is sitting regally in the chair she reserves for entertaining guests and her more formal interactions with you. Some might find the formality with her child weird, but you are well aware of the standards of nobility and proper interpersonal interactions. All things in their time and place.
"Yes, son, something rather vital." She gives a soft smile. "You've recently turned 13 and your graduation fast approaches. You may have noticed some changes coming to your body, and..."
You blanch. Is this the talk? Is your mother giving you the talk? You knew this was bound to happen. Vague remembrances of your past life aside, some of your friends had already hinted at the horrors of having to go through this themselves. However, you have a trump card reserved for just this occasion.
Your mom beats you to it, however, holding up a hand to forestall, while giving you an amused look. "As fun as it would be to give you that particular talk, it's unnecessary. I'm well aware the academy covers such things. It would be irresponsible not to, given the level of independence granted to shinobi teams."
You let out a breath. Crisis adverted.
"Related, however."
...she's fucking with you. You know that she is. The slight upturn of her right lip says she's enjoying your comfortableness immensely.
"There are certain things that you need to be aware of, certain training that you have to undergo now that you're fully growing into your body. Both I and your father have bred true, in you, and that's something must be cultivated."
And now you're just mildly lost.
"Daisuke. You're aware that you're already one of the most attractive individuals in your class?"
You mull it over. It wasn't something you'd actually sat down and thought about, but it was something you'd, perhaps, taken for granted. Everyone was just starting to get into the age where you'd notice the occasional look, and some of your classmates acting a touch odd around you. Giving it some consideration, you'd say you were in the same ballpark of such attentions as Sauske. He was ahead of you in such regards, factoring in his tragic backstory and the loner stick he pulled, but there wasn't anyone else in the class that demanded such attention. On the boys side, at least.
"Indeed." You give a small nod to show your understanding.
"It's going to get more so. I can see your father's features already coming through. In the next few months there will be few people in the village on your level. You'll find that such attractiveness makes your life easier, for the most part. People more willing to talk to you, trust you, give you opportunities. There are lesser drawbacks, however. People will be paying more attention to you in general, there will be those that take an almost vindictive pleasure in watching for you to slip or have a bad day, and you'll have to deal with your adoring fans."
That did give you pause as you placed yourself in Sauske's position. That...wasn't the most enviable future you could see in your mind.
She gives you a knowing smile, easily reading your thoughts. "Part of your training will be focusing on how to deal with these things, turning them to your advantage, or mitigating them where needed. As you can imagine, this is important. The number of suitors I've had to deal with alone would have caused a good deal of inconveniences and headaches if I hadn't had the proper training to deal with them."
You...really didn't need to hear about your mother's suitors.
"On the other hand." She drawls slightly, demonstrating where you picked up the habit. "It has worked to your advantage."
This earns an eyebrow raise on your part.
"Your classmates did spend an inordinate amount of time here compared to elsewhere, as I'm sure you noticed. The amount of travel time you saved and having classmates frequently on hand only did positive things for your advancement and studies."
You blink. "Are you implying that..."
"I usually found time to make a brief appearance while you had classmates over? I was a teenager myself, not long ago."
You shudder slightly.
"I believe that's enough for the formal discussion." She stands. "It's time for a field trip to begin the practical classes."
You honestly have no idea what that would entail. Socializing with random people, maybe? Watching her do so?
"Time to go clothes shopping." She nods decisively, and you bite back the horror that shoots through you. You've spent enough time doing that with Ino, you know where this is going.
"A major part of appearance is knowing how to dress specifically for yourself. Colors, how things are cut, what's appropriate to what kinds of events, weather, and so on. Part of your formal lessons on this topic will be addressed at such things. We will then take lunch, and I will instruct you on how to hold yourself in public, how to draw attention without being obvious about it, and how to play a crowd without seeming like you're even aware of them. Such things will be part of your education over the next few months."
You find yourself very thankful for how little you need to sleep.
"After that, Gai-san has graciously agreed to come and have a chat with you, man to man as your father isn't around."
Gai? What did Gai have to do with this? Oh. Oh no. No no no.
"You said...but you said it wasn't necessary because the academy covered it!"
There's a gleam in her eye. "Unnecessary, yes. It would be unbecoming of me as a mother to allow you to skip out on the lesson one on one with an older male. As the closest thing to a male role model and father figure to you in this village, Gai-san is the optimal choice."
This...this was a special kind of hell, reserved for those that got a disappointing rating in their previous life.