This reads to me like a misunderstanding of how foreign policy, escalation and nuclear weapons policy actually work. No state sane enough for medium-term survival has a policy of "immediately fire all nuclear weapons as soon as any element of our armed forces are hit". Because nobody actually wants nuclear war, it doesn't bode well for the stock market/5 year plan. Does this mean shooting at each other is actually harmless? Hell no.
To simplify the issue as game theory, in reaction to such an incident there are two basic strategies here: "deescalate" (accept sacrifices for the sake of avoiding open conflict) and brinksmanship (insist on concessions and show willingness to escalate further). If one side is willing to deescalate, things are fine. The worry is never from the initial incident, but the reaction to the incident. If one sides misreads the others stance, plays hardball for something where the other is unwilling to back down, the interaction can take on a life of it's own. If both the SU and France engage in brinkmanship (like your "never back down strategy" would suggest), you could see a very real risk of real war, followed by nuclear war. We've accidentally lit a match in the powder keg, and nothing bad happened so far. That doesn't mean we should make a habit out of lighting matches there. If you make a habit out of risking escalation, the reaction of the americans won't be "offer them concessions because it was clearly an accident" the third or fourth time.
Also, we have very much not escalated as much as we could. This is fairly low on the escalation ladder, we had a naval skirmish and there is already risk present if we try to exact concessions. High escalation would be "prepare forces for a invasion of Europe", followed only by "tactical nuclear strikes" and "nuclear war".