A Little Vice (Trans Magical Girl fic)

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And even if I did trust it, I still looked almost exactly like Inessa. Were the girls going to buy a strange transfer student who looked like Inessa with an odd hair color when they already had literally seen me transform until I looked strangely like Inessa?
With what we've seen how powerful the identity hiding power is, yes.
Temperance, it turned out, like Chiroptera Dunne, had first period honors European history. Chiroptera Dunne had also been signed up for honors European history under the logic that I wouldn't be taking any of Charlie's classes and the grades didn't count so there was no reason to kill myself with my courseload.

The wonderful extremely nice and thoughtful teacher even had me take the empty seat immediately next to Temperance Atwater and instructed us to share a book until Chiro could get her own.
BWA-HA-HA-HA-HAA!!! :rofl:
A few times she noticed me staring and gazed back, the faintest hint of a smirk appearing on her face. I felt like I would die.

Eventually the bell rang. I gathered my things and moved to dash out of the room, only to find Temperance's fingers wound tightly against my wrist.

"You do look better in a skirt," she said, rising to her own feet. I froze, unable to pry off her hand. One hour, I hadn't even lasted one hour. How, she even noticed? It didn't matter, she had and that meant I'd failed. Now I would have to leave, abandon Chiro entirely and tell Avaritia I'd failed her. Superbia would be upset and—

"They might recognize you from your earrings," Temperance said as she let me go and sauntered out of the classroom with a casual wave. The silly earrings I'd chosen to feel a little bit of confidence and familiarity had outed me to Temperance, of all people.
Oh shit, she actually recognized her.
Besides, it was embarrassing! The weird fanfics and online fiction were even worse. No one would ever be allowed to know my browser history even if I had to die to protect it.
Hey, be proud of your weird fanfic and online fiction tastes!
Ida hesitated for a moment, "I guess bats aren't so bad," she said in the tone of someone pretending to talk about bats while actually ruminating over a gross ex-friend who turned into an evil bat-girl and betrayed her kindness for no good reason besides that they had secretly always been a horrible jealous monster deep down.
You know, there will be a time when every interaction and thought C has is not followed by self-deprecation, and it is going to feel really weird.
I wanted to recoil. An instinctual part of me—the part that was truly primally Invidia, that had no detritus of Charlie or Chiro or anyone else—had very different instincts. They would probably involve turning our teacher into a monster and that would almost certainly get me in a great deal of trouble, so I did my best to ignore them.

I'm not sure if I could have resisted, if my envy would have let me resist its pulls, if Ida wasn't right there being a constant threat. Besides, as far as I must have fallen in all of their eyes, how much worse would it be if they actually saw me take a nice person and turn him into a monster?
It would be a very bad act. And know we see how the Seed really does compel the wielder to act according to their sin.
Obviously. They were heroes. They had all the tools they needed to be nice to people, to stand out and earn all the acclaim, to do the right thing and win and look gorgeous doing it. They were the ones who'd been chosen, who got to do things that mattered.

"Yeah," Inessa said, "it reminds me a lot of a good friend. He was the kind of person who was always there to help, always willing to listen and help you talk through all your problems without ever getting impatient or anything. He acted all quiet and reserved a lot of the time, but really he was so nice you worried he was going to get in trouble some day."

"Oh," I said awkwardly. I was pretty sure I knew all of Inessa's friends and she'd never mentioned anyone like that. "Who's that? He sounds worth meeting."

She understood how not to give her enemies that advantage. I buried that emotion deep down. Invidia would betray nothing here, so neither would I. The dark pulsed within me, but I kept it under my skin instead of letting it run truly free. I did not reveal myself to my former friends in a whirlwind of miasma. This, at least, envy allowed.
But for how long?
I could have gone to my next class. But that wasn't what I needed now. Whatever doubts or hesitation I'd had had been neatly resolved just now. I'd show them that I was well aware of everything I was doing, and I'd show them that Avaritia was right, that people like me needed our vices to sustain ourselves.
Chiro, I'm very disappointed in you.
I expected to see Ida fighting my monster. I definitely did not expect to see my Resinner exiting the room while Ida lay still against a far wall.

She was breathing at least. Still, that wasn't how this was supposed to go at all! The Saints didn't lose! They definitely didn't lose to a monster of the week without even transforming!
Gee, almost like creating monsters that wreak havoc and destruction could be dangerous or something, you numbskull!!!
I allowed myself to fall up into the sky. I'd done it. I'd beaten Inessa. I'd proven that even I could fight just as well as any of them if I had the chance; that I could be as good as any of them when I wasn't even a real girl. So, why wouldn't my hands stop shaking?
Because your "genius idea" of showing your friends that you're strong, which even you don't really believe, and not be worth of any positive emotions was to attack and hurt them, coming dangerously close to killing one of them.
 
Also, maybe this is kind of a hot take, but-

Avaritia is kind of terrible? There's nothing really new ey does in this chapter, but eir pattern of behavior is sort of the worst when it comes to Chiro.

Ey constantly pushes her out of her comfort zone under the justification that it's "good for her", but all that results in seems to be putting Chiro in situations where she hurts herself and others.

It's hard not to get frustrated with Avaritia when ey is the one actually creating these situations and doesn't seem to realize that Chiro is being torn apart by being placed into the middle of this conflict when she doesn't even understand her own feelings.

Avaritia didn't even manage to be the one who was there for her after the incident with Chiro's dad! Ey just took advantage of it to let Chiro hurt herself even more, all under the guise of "knowing what's best".

Eir flirting with Chiro comes across as honestly kind of like… Taking advantage honestly? Under the circumstances. Ey's clearly dealing with eir own issues, but shoving Chiro into this Temperance shaped mold where she has to be the replacement for the partner that left em without considering how Chiro is different from Temperance in a lot of ways is doing a lot of damage.
 
I don't think everything ey's done has directly hurt Invidia, but most of it has, and the positive stuff is often just the tail end of the negative spiral.

That said, no, they really shouldn't date each other right now... or maybe ever, but who knows.
 
This chapter oh my god, every time we think chiro/Invidia has reached the peak of obliviousness and then somehow she surpasses herself and takes it even further… truly, she belongs as a Magical Girl.
 
The thing with Avaritia, and with Inessa, and with Temperance for that matter, is that they've all got different ways they want to help Invidia, all of which they're doing in complete earnestness, and none of which are perfect or really working the way they intend to because there's no silver bullet solution to someone else's self-loathing. They're all making mistakes and all their strategies are flawed because there is no flawless strategy here, which is, if not the entire point of the story, then the crystallization of Invidia as a character.
 
The only strategy that'll really work in the end is Chiro showing kindness to herself, imo. Like everyone else can help, they can encourage or nudge, but if she's still witholding that kindness and forgiveness personally it's not gonna stick very well and she'll keep making excuses for why she's in the wrong and stuff?
 
The only strategy that'll really work in the end is Chiro showing kindness to herself, imo. Like everyone else can help, they can encourage or nudge, but if she's still witholding that kindness and forgiveness personally it's not gonna stick very well and she'll keep making excuses for why she's in the wrong and stuff?
That does seem to be where the story is headed.

Also I thought up a joke summary of my own argument about the three people trying directly to help Invidia through this.

The thing with Avaritia, and with Inessa, and with Temperance for that matter, is that they've all got different ways they want to help Invidia, all of which they're doing in complete earnestness, and none of which are perfect or really working the way they intend to because there's no silver bullet solution to someone else's self-loathing. They're all making mistakes and all their strategies are flawed because there is no flawless strategy here, which is, if not the entire point of the story, then the crystallization of Invidia as a character.

"Our strategy to help Invidia realize she's trans is a three-pronged attack."

Inessa: "Subliminal."

Avaritia: "Liminal."

Temperance: "And superliminal."

Invidia: "Superliminal?"

Temperance: "HEY YOU! YOU'RE TRANS!"
 
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Lupin's enthusiasm and spontaneity had talked me into outfits that were exactly the kind of over the top stuff she could pull off. But actually existing while actually wearing those clothes for more than the three illicit minutes it had taken to try them on and steal glances of myself in a mirror?
Oh look, it's that thread again. The one where Avaritia just kinda assumes whats best for Invidia without considering how her needs might differ from eirs...
"They might recognize you from your earrings," Temperance said as she let me go and sauntered out of the classroom with a casual wave.
Contrasted with the thread where Temperance is supportive of her friends' choices, even when they are technically enemies.

I quietly firmed my resolve to attend all future classes in the baggiest of hoodies and jeans, no matter how seriously Lupin took eir claims about evil having a dress code.
Invidia needs to spend more time on Tumblr. Maybe then she'd realize just how trans she acts.

Speaking of which, I found Avaritia's Tumblr profile the other day.

But no, I was nice safe C. Obviously I couldn't possibly do anything on my own, couldn't even have the agency to fall. I'd told them I was a monster, I was mean and cruel and dark and yet here we were sitting at the same table again and they acted like nothing had changed.
Or, and here's a thought:
Ida, Inessa, and especially Temperance know that joining the Abyssal Beasts isn't a lifetime commitment. (Or at least, it's not one that gets enforced very well.) They know that people can just leave when being Superbia's servant suits them poorly enough, and they know C won't like being evil. (As, indeed, she doesn't.)

"Yep! Chiro! That's definitely my name!"
"No," I shook my head, "Avar-A very good friend insisted on making lunch for my first day."
"Intuitive?" what had, oh right, I'd slipped that I'd reacted to Mr. Brown's sin, "I guess I've always just gotten hunches. Girl power, you know?" I fibbed awkwardly.
I growled at Castitas. "I literally made the monster in the first place! [...] As if! No Castitas, I simply didn't want to give you any excuses about protecting civilians when I crush you like the bug you are! No, today you shall understand the true horror of Invidia Bat!"
"Right! To be clear, Castitas, it's because in the depths of my envy I have copied your pronouns as well as your face! Not, like, any other weird reason or anything!"
Invidia, you suck at lying. Find a job which involves less of it.

And even if I did trust it, I still looked almost exactly like Inessa. Were the girls going to buy a strange transfer student who looked like Inessa with an odd hair color when they already had literally seen me transform until I looked strangely like Inessa?
They were willing to buy a strange transfer students who looked like Gula Shark without the...I dunno...teeth or fins or cat ears or whatever.

A few times Temperance noticed me staring and gazed back, the faintest hint of a smirk appearing on her face. I felt like I would die.
Inscrutable smug looks.
"You do look better in a skirt," she said, rising to her own feet.
Okay, I think I've scruted what they were about.

As it turned out, I had Ida and Inessa in second period english lit.
"AP Chemistry with a, umm, Mr. Brown?" The room wasn't far, otherwise I'd have had a great excuse to run.
Ida grinned. "Oh nice, I'm in the same class, so I can show you where it is."
Chiro just cannot catch a break.

That was a tough one. I obviously couldn't talk about my taste in media; it was mostly osmosed from Inessa, and Ida would absolutely push us closer together if she saw a chance. Besides, it was embarrassing! The weird fanfics and online fiction were even worse. No one would ever be allowed to know my browser history even if I had to die to protect it.
Ha ha, what a weird and unfamiliar feeling. Ha.

It was distinctly possible that I had acquired a small encyclopedia of bat facts in the time I'd spent avoiding Superbia. That was fair, bats were amazing. Honestly, I didn't even really deserve to be one.
Invidia, hon, you could be Invidia Paramecium and you'd come up with reasons you weren't fit to be associated with them.

Ida hesitated, clearly not quite getting it. For all her sympathy, she didn't understand how much being the object of attention could exhaust people like me.
Fuckin' extroverts.

Charleton was gross and unmemorable. If he got attention from anyone, it usually meant they were secretly working for the Abyssal Forest.
Let's see...Mr. Noir and Lupin versus Temperance, Ida, and Inessa. Math doesn't work out in your disfavor, kiddo.

Ida frowned. It was easy to understand why. Avaritia turning out to be an evil wolf was the best I'd seen any of Inessa's pining turn out.
Inessa had crushes that turned out worse?

"Oh," I said awkwardly. I was pretty sure I knew all of Inessa's friends and she'd never mentioned anyone like that. "Who's that? He sounds worth meeting."
Torn between giving this poor bat a hug or shaking her by the shoulders until she realizes that she is not and has never been a worthless piece of human detritus.
Seems like having a stranger do that would be weird, though. I should probably let Temperance handle those duties.

Ida was there. She was talking with Mr. Brown, probably pushed by our conversation to see if he was okay and to see if she could be an obnoxious do-gooder about his feelings.
I see the villain lingo is rubbing off on Invidia.

I shifted Ida to a more comfortable position and followed my creation into the hall. At least the fight wouldn't be happening next to her.
Villainous attitude, not so much.

"Fine, Invidia, do we have to do this?" Castitas slammed one foot against the concrete, sending a wall of flame in front of her that served as a makeshift firebreak. At the same time, she aimed her bow and shot, loosing a barrage of arrows against Beaker Breaker with pinpoint accuracy.

I opened my mouth to say something.

"Also, umm what are your pronouns now?" Inessa followed up.
I like this. It really is an Inessa line, whatever costume she's wearing.

I kicked off the ground and spread my wings, chasing after Inessa, only to quickly drop into a frantic roll as it turned out that spreading my wings to fly down a narrow hallway toward the archer actually made it very easy to accidentally throw yourself into arrows that weren't even aimed at you.
Someone needs to play more Fire Emblem.

I'd won; I'd beaten her in a way I hadn't really believed was possible. And yet, I wasn't sure what to do. The heat of the fight had suddenly left me and I didn't know how to end any of this. Was I supposed to keep pressing, to do that for real?

"GET OFF HER!" Ida's voice—carrying a heat I'd never heard from the stoic Saint—saved me from myself.
Villain of the century. Look at that killer instinct.

To cope with the Abyssal Forest's increase in power, the Saints decide to spend the weekend training. However, when Avaritia's latest Resinner interrupts the girls' training, a shocking development is revealed! Inessa Brandt... can't transform!?
Sounds like some juicy character development that we are probably going to miss because Invidia's juicy character development is blocking it.


Invidia has no idea that those boys had forgotten all about the Monster rampaging through the school and quite possibly just straight up weren't thinking anything other than "Cute Girl in front of me!" Does she?
Give the boys some credit. They were at least thinking "Cute monster girl in front of me!"

Firstly, I think there's something missing from the first sentence because "Biding until Invidia is too much to bear" reads as incomplete.
To me, it reads pretty clearly. Temperance said she was biding her time until Invidia became unbearable.


Shadell said:
I couldn't imagine what Inessa or Ida might say if they realized it was C underneath all these cute clothes.
I imagine they'd be fully supportive.
Yes, that's why Invidia can't imagine it.

That bit at the end was terrifying. Invidia came very close to going too far, and because Ida interrupted we and Inessa will never know if she would have. Self Hatred is a hell of a drug. This sucks.
I mean, we saw Invidia's thought process, including the part where she calls Diligentia's interruption "saving me from myself". We can make an educated guess; Invidia would probably freak out when Castitas passed out.
But Inessa didn't see Invidia's thought process. So she has no idea whether her old friend is actually trying to murder her.

I wonder if that's connected to her transformation problems next episode.


Also, maybe this is kind of a hot take, but-
Avaritia is kind of terrible?
A take hot enough to make ice cubes.

Avaritia just does not have second thoughts.


Also: Considering a fanfic where Temperance and Chiro don't have first period together.
 
You could definitely get omake material out of a variant of the lunch scene where Inessa is awkwardly trying not to bring up that she's recognized the earrings?
Yeah, but do I want to do a silly one-off thing like that, or a whole AU where Inessa recognizing her old friend butterflies into a completely different direction?

I mean, I guess that'd be tricky since I don't know what direction canon is going...
 
She is terrible at this undercover thing. "I've gotten really into bats lately," honestly.

Chiroptera Dunne had also been signed up for honors European history under the logic that I wouldn't be taking any of Charlie's classes and the grades didn't count so there was no reason to kill myself with my courseload.
There's something funny about the lighter courseload involving "Honors European History" and "AP Chemistry". And multiple classes with Ida, notorious tryhard.
 
Another thing I noticed here is Tempe just going for threesome route. I'm sure the fictional shippers are normal about this.

Also, I'm polyamorous myself, so I won't make any jokes about Greed or Gluttony, but inviting Envy into a trio sounds like a recipe for disaster.
 
I kinda wonder how "Cour 1" Chiro was viewed.

...I bet people complained because they assumed that "he" was being set up as a love interest for Innessa, this hapless but seemingly spotless (really nice, good grades, etc) boy who keeps on getting rescued. :V
 
I kinda wonder how "Cour 1" Chiro was viewed.

...I bet people complained because they assumed that "he" was being set up as a love interest for Innessa, this hapless but seemingly spotless (really nice, good grades, etc) boy who keeps on getting rescued. :V

C was the semi-relevant male character in the background of the Shining Virtue Angelic Heart fandom, which has consequently made this newest arc the worst possible thing that could happen to a specific type of fan.
 
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