Who's The Boss? (A CN: VV CKII Quest)

"You'll feel the fog as I cloud your mind

You'll get dizzy when I make a sign

You'll wake up in the dead of night, missing me when I'm out of sight

I'M A HEX GIRL-!!"

"-and I'm gonna put a spell on you."

The words, sung softly within the cab of the old van, were drowned out by the sound of the radio but that didn't bother Daphne one bit. Today was the beginning of a new opportunity for her, one free from all the chaos and craziness of everything that's happened these last few years since the Kings took over America.

Truthfully, she didn't know what to expect when putting in an application for this Park. Originally, she came to The City to escape all the other Kings and psychopaths scattered throughout the nation, hearing that their leader was one of the few decent ones left around. And since the others were cut off from her due to the geographical nightmare that was America, she figured she would take her chances here. Still, she did wish that it was farther from Crystal Cove as she hoped for. Being close to home still brought back... memories.

Shaking her head, she focused her attention back on the road. This time of the day, rarely anyone could be found outside, which wasn't surprising. Not many people seem willing to step outside their homes these days, what with the bad guys calling the shots and crime up by a huge metric. She wasn't much of a math girl, but she's 90% sure that the crime rates weren't always that high.

Driving further into the City, she took it nice and slow, wincing as she noticed some very shady areas in the district. Gang graffiti, street urchins, and... yup, that's a group of unicorns bullying some scrawny nerd.

Just keep driving, Daphs. Just keep driving.

Pushing her foot down on the gas pedal a little harder, she urged the van to speed past the crime scene, not wanting to get caught in the commotion. After all, today was her first day and it'd make a bad impression on this Boss to show up late.

He does have a funny look to him, not gonna lie. After all, I never imagined taking orders from a guy that looked like a gumball machine in a suit... but then again, I used to work with a talking dog while solving mysteries, so it can't be helped.

Smiling at the memories, she kept on driving until she reached an area of the City that looked to be where she was supposed to be. Putting her foot on the brake, the van slowed to a halt as she looked up at the sign positioned out front in bold words.


"Well, that narrows things down a bit," she snarked, pulling off to the side and parking the van. Taking a moment to make sure her makeup was intact (oh yes, she definitely pinned down the young, fresh-out-of-college woman look) and her outfit was immaculate (a matching purple jacket and pencil-skirt with a lime-green shirt underneath), she took a step out of the van and looked to the future with a smile.

Around her chest was a small key-shaped locket, one which she gripped tightly with one hand.

"Alright, gang," she murmured to herself. "Watch me, okay? As of today, Daphne Blake isn't taking things lying down anymore!"

With confidence in her chest, she marched past the gates to the Park, ready to take on whatever this place threw at her.

"YO, LADY, WATCH OUT!!"

For a good span of three seconds before something loud, hard, and smelly slammed into her, knocking them both to the ground. With swirls in her eyes, she pushes herself up to stare incredulously at the strange-looking man that ran her over.

"What the heck is wrong with you?! Don't you have any common sense to look before running, jerk?" she yelled at the man, who had the decency to look sheepish for his action.

"Yeaaaah, my bad on that. Only counter I got for that is the giant monster about to squash us flat right now."

...the wha-?

"RRRRRRRAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!!"

She looked up and felt her jaw drop at the sight of a gargantuan Kaiju (she thinks that what they're called, if the ramblings of Shaggy were anything to go by) with a dozen eyeballs, razor-sharp teeth the size of a house, and as tall as the highest buildings within the City.


Looking at this Kaiju, all she could say was, "Jeepers!"

"HANG ON!"

The scar-faced man wrapped one arm around her waist, while swiping his other arm out in front of him, confusing Daphne-

-until she found herself flying in the middle of the air, the man still wrapped around her. She cried out in terror, but another swipe of his hand brought them back down to ground and farther away from that Kaiju. Once her feet hit the ground, she pried the man off of her, giving him a deadly look.

"Who are you?! And what is that?! And- and how did you do that?!"

The man wasn't even looking at Daphne as she interrogated him. His focus was on the Kaiju, still rampaging throughout the Park. "Man, that thing's getting more pissed. Think it's gonna take The Hand a lot of work to bring that sucker down."

"Hey!" She stomps her foot in frustration, finally catching the man's attention. "I'm talking to you, you know! Do you have any idea how rude you're being right now?"

"Oh shit, I'm sorry," the man apologized, putting both hands together apologetically. "I didn't mean to ignore you, lady, I'm just trying to figure out how to kill that thing before it costs me my job."

"Well, perhaps you should be a little more- wait," Daphne blinks, the realization hitting her like a robot-man's punch. "You don't mean... a job here, right?"

"Duh," the man stares at her, incredulous. "Where the hell else do you think I'm talking about? Outer space?"

Another roar from the Kaiju jolts the two of them back to its proximity, watching in stunned awe as it opens its mouth and vaporizes a whole line of trees with a laser blast.

"...you know, not the weirdest thing I've ever seen," the man muses.

"Ditto," Daphne agrees, shaking her head before blinking. "Wait, why are we just standing around here talking? We have to do something!"

Flashing a mean-looking grin, the man cracks his knuckles and starts walking in the direction of the Kaiju.

"Oh, that's easy. All I gotta do is get close enough to it, swipe it a few times, and it'll be taken care of before lunch!"

Daphne winces, watching the Kaiju smash a building in distance to pieces with its foot. "H-how in the world are you going to fight that? What are you, some sort of superhero?"

"Me? Pffh, nah. Never was good at that sorta stuff, plus I like getting paid, so pass. I'm something else."

Daphne watches the man tense his body up, as if preparing to leap across the field when the man suddenly stops, realizing something. Turning back to her, he gives her an earnest smile and says, "Oh, before I forget, the name's Okuyasu! Nijimura Okuyasu from Morioh! Nice to meet you, random lady."

"It's Daphne. Daphne Blake."

"Nice to meet you, Daphne Blake. Hope we get to hang out after this if I don't get eaten by this thing."

And with a swipe of his hand, there he goes, flying off into the distance. Although, upon further inspection, it looked more like he was teleporting than anything else. As he starts fighting that giant Kaiju, all she is left to do is run and pray that her new coworker doesn't get eaten alive on their first day.

---

"What. The. Hell?"

You look outside the window, an angry flush rattling your gumballs as you watch the giant monster lizard... thing rampage through the Park. Your Park! Already, most of the place is on fire or crushed underfoot by the monster's colossus frame. At this rate, once it's done with the Park, it'll no doubt turn its attention towards the City.

"Nikolai!" you roar, running out of the office. "Where are you?! We got a giant killer lizard outside our house and it needs to go ASAP!"

"I'm already on it, Boss," Nikolai replies, appearing from out of nowhere with a very large bazooka. "Rest your worries, this isn't the first time I've had to kill something like this. Although it's a little smaller than the monster I met in New York back in '98. And not popping out as many babies as that one did-"

"FOCUS!" you yell, snapping Nikolai to attention. "DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO KILL IT OR NOT?!"

"Da, Benson. Behold," Nikolai hefts up the bazooka, giving it the type of look you would see a mother give to her newborn child. "The Annihilator 9000. This bad boy packs missile salvos with enough kinetic force to make the Tsar Bomba look like a pie to the face."

"WHAT KINDA ALLEGORY WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!"

"I don't know, but stick around and try not to get swept away by the aftershocks," Nikolai calls out to you, running for the attic with a skip in his step.

You slap a hand to your face, grumbling.

Where's Skips when you need him?

The house shakes from one of the monster's roars, snapping you out of your thoughts.

"Right, first thing's first!" You sprint down the staircase, heading for the front door. "Stop that giant lizard!"

You throw open the door, ready to head outside and confront this overgrown reptile, only to be stopped by a person standing on the other side, ready to knock on it.

You blink, staring at them. They stare back at you with blank, black eyes. Your first thought that comes to mind is that of a homunculus... but with yellow skin and clothes?

"Uhhh..." they say awkwardly overtop the destruction going on behind them. "I-is this the place that was hiring for groundskeeping? I saw your ad online and filed an application the other day. Got an email last night to come in today for an interview, but, uh..."

They turn back to where the monster was firing laser beams from its mouth, trying to hit some faint blue blur flying around its frame. It howls in outrage at its elusive prey.

The homunculus turns back to you. "If this is a bad time, I can come back later."

"O-oh no, it's okay, it's okay-"

"Nah, like I get it, man. Like you got bigger things to worry about, and I'm taking up your time right now-"

"No, it's fine, promise. This sort of thing goes on all the time here."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, it's like a... a weekly thing at this point. Something shows up, it's somehow connected to the park, we gotta stop it and fix the damages-"

"Oh, that's gotta-that's gotta be like hell on your insurance company, man. Like how you guys haven't gone broke or been investigated yet by the IRS just... just sounds really crazy, man."

"Yeah, tell me about it."

You two stand in place for a few moments, the epic monster battle still raging behind the homunculus. Somewhere, you hear a Russian curse and know that Nikolai's made it up to the roof.

"...you wanna come in?" you ask the homunculus, stepping aside and waving them inside.

"Nah, like I said, I don't wanna impose-"

"Trust me, the guy I hired has this covered. He's like a Russian agent. Well, former."

"Wait-wait-wait, are you housing like enemy spies at this place?"

"What, no? He defected!"

"That doesn't make things better, dude, that just means you're holding a fugitive in your house!"

"He's a registered citizen!"

"Yeah, under what alias name?"

"For god's sake, man!"

"Hey man, I don't mind working outdoors in a place like this. Frankly, I actually like working in gardens and landscaping, it-it gives me something to feel comfortable around. But not if there's some sort of ex-KGB agent sleeping in the room next to me!"

Behind the homunculus, the monster's fist swiped at the blue blur and seemed to have caught it, if the shark-like smile on the monster's face was anything to go by.

Alarm bells going off in your head, you turn to the homunculus and say, "Look, if you don't want the job, then fine! But I'm not gonna sit by and watch some bystanders get eaten while some guy is criticizing me for hiring former foreign agents. Things are different now."

"Oh really," the homunculus scoffs. "And how's that?"

"Because I'm the Boss of this place! And I'm not gonna let it get torn apart while I'm still breathing, now get outta the way!"

You shove past the homunculus, ignoring his yell and rushing towards the battle. You've already lost enough people on your watch and you'll be damned if it happens again!

---

As the angry gumball machine runs off, the homunculus called Charlie merely watches him go, a frown on his pudgy yellow face.

"Man, that guy was a real asshole," he muttered to himself, shoving his hands back into his pockets. He walks down the steps to the house and stops at the bottom, observing the battle from afar with a scrutinizing gaze. Truth be told, he reaaaaally didn't want to get involved here for three reasons.

1.) He liked living.
2.) He quit the 'Helping others' gig back when the S.F. company went under thanks to the F.F. pricks.
3.) That was a freaking Kaiju monster in the middle of California.

I don't know what they expect me to do here against a giant lizard mutant. Like literally, I'm probably as big as one of its toenails just looking at it.

Clicking his tongue, he continued watching as the fight raged on. He could faintly make out Benson driving around the feet of the Kaiju, trying to distract the beast while that blue blur is zipping around its torso, seemingly doing some kind of damage based on the anger that can be heard in the Kaiju's voice.

"..."

"C'mon, Charlie, you can't just let those people get hurt while doing the right thing. That's not in your nature!"

His fists tighten as he remembers a small, optimistic, lavender-colored man he once called friend.

"You don't want to be back on the streets again. This is your one shot at finding a decent bed and shower."

He clenches his teeth from reminsicing the nasal tones of a red-skinned man with a blue tie.

"SHABULAGO, TOFIHMU RAZTAFERU LBIDNAG!!"

"God..." The words of a small, green-skinned... thing(?) echoed inside Charlie's brain, urging him to action.

But it was the words of his old boss that finally motivated him into taking action…

"Yeah, I thought Die Hard 2 wasn't as good as the original, but I didn't entirely dislike it. Bruce gave it his all with the script that he had, and I enjoy the, ah... th-the aesthetic of the film. It gave it enough credence to stand on its own from the original, ya know? Still think Die Hard 3 is the better sequel, though."

"Goddammit!" Charlie throws his hand up in the air and begins running towards the Kaiju battle, pissed off for sure... but not ready to let another boss he knows die on his watch.

---

"Hmm, guess we'll be hiring him then," Nikolai idly mused, watching the homunculus run towards the monster brawl. A smile ran across his face, memories of another group of guys that would charge head-first into danger without any hesitation.

"We might just break in this new batch fine after all."

Turning his gaze back to the Kaiju, his resolve hardened and he focused all attention onto the rampaging creature, destroying most of what Benson worked hard to keep intact since his return to Earth. Luckily, the memorial statues had been spared from the monster's wrath, but it wouldn't be long until it too would be shattered.

Like hell I'm going to let that happen.

Unholstering the Annihilator 9000 from his body, Nikolai carefully took aim at the creature, trying to pinpoint an area where he could strike the Kaiju but suddenly cursed in frustration a few minutes later. The Kaiju was moving around too wildly for him to get a good lock on, and if that blue blur didn't keep agitating the beast, he might be able to keep it in one place at a time.

Note to self: if no one dies from this thing, get all new workers earpieces to coordinate events better for future reference. I've seen amateurs in the M.O.M. program work together better with their limbs tied together, and hammered on Devil's Blood whiskey.

Mmm, he could go for a shot of Devil's Blood right now. Get the actual blood flowing- no, stop, bad Nikolai! Focus!

"Now, if only you could stay in place, my mutant fishie friend," he whispered, priming the Annihilator 9000 to fire when-

...

What's this?

It... stopped moving?!

He blinked in surprise and then shrugged. "Eh, beggars can't be choosers."

And with that, he fired.

---

Nijimura Okuyasu was a man who did not live a quiet life, but rather embraced the chaotic nature of the world he lived in.

He was your typical everyman who enjoyed women, video games, money, and Italian food that maaaaaaay have given him a few extra years to live just from eating it. He was a man who stood out in the crowd with his dollar-sign jumpsuit and the twin scars on his face that made it look like a baseball (though if you wanted to save yourself an ass-kicking, you'd keep that to yourself). And above all else, he was a man that was 1 in a 100, or something along those numbers give or take, that could be found in other countries across the world. A secret friend invisible to all but others like him.

Okuyasu was a Stand User. And, if he didn't mind showing off his ego as being one, a pretty damned good one. The Hand has been a steadfast and loyal friend, keeping him focused and on-task as they travelled the world from Japan to America in a small boat, fighting off countless strange, abhorrent, and downright bizarre enemies on their way here.

And yet somehow, ending up fighting a giant Kaiju monster in his new work place wasn't even close to the weirdest thing he'd ever seen. Maybe not even in the top five. That weird monkey that could create a ship just barely won out over this thing.

"GRRRRRRROAAAARGH!!"

"Whoa, shit!!" With a quick swipe, The Hand teleported him away from the monster's sudden barrage of mouth beams. "Gotta stay focused on the job, or else, my ass is cooked. Now, let's see... if I were a fish, where would my weak points be?"

Naturally, the first thought that came to mind was air. Fishes need water to breathe, and they weren't underwater so right now, that thing should be shriveled up and dying right now. Yet upon further thought, it hit Okuyasu to the fact that, oh yeah, this thing's been rampaging for two hours and shows no sign of suffocating in the heat.

"Well, dang," he sighs, landing in one of the few trees still standing in this Park. "There goes Plan A, so for Plan B... well, I'd need some sort of fishing rod for that. Where's the nearest bass store, I wonder?"

"ROOOOAAARRR!!"

"Sonuva–"

Cursing, Okuyasu blitzed away in time as the monster swiped a hand through the treeline he was standing on, turning them into splinters. His brain racked desperately for some kind of idea that he could use to take down this monster.

Thinking's never been my strongest point, I always let Aniki handle that field. It's times like these I wish dad wasn't so casual about lettin' me skip school, might have gotten better smarts than out on the streets.

Shaking his head of those strange ruminations, he focused his attention back on the monster at hand. Landing on the ground, the Kaiju had yet to notice him, which was good. It gave him enough to plan things out.

The screeching of tires hit his ear and he turned to see… a gumball machine driving a golf cart come up next to him?

"You!" the machine shouted.

"What the hell," Okuyasu reeled back in shock. "What kinda enemy Stand are you supposed to be?!"

"Enemy what–?!" the gumball machine's face grew red (he wondered if that meant those gumballs inside were spicy when it did that) and jabbed a finger at Okuyasu. "No! I'm Benson, the Boss for this Park and the City! I'm the guy who also hired you!"

"Ohhhhh, so you're him. Huh. Thought that was some kinda cosplay you did with the get-up, but I guess you really are a gumball machine! Who'da thunk it?"

Benson facepalmed. "Look, just– just get on, okay? We gotta draw its attention long enough for Nikolai to get set up."

"Okay, bet."

Okuyasu leapt onto the top of the golf cart, which took off from its spot, attracting the Kaiju's gaze onto them. It gave a mighty bellow and began stomping after them.

"So, uh-" Okuyasu called out. "Did my references check out alright?"

"FIGHT MONSTER NOW, TALK WORK LATER!!"

"Right-o, bossman."

---

From her spot behind the ruins of a water fountain, Daphne anxiously looked on as her new boss and coworker drove underneath the monster's feet, narrowly avoiding being stomped to death. She managed to identify the driver as Benson, the strange gumball machine man that's taken charge of southern California following old Maellard's death. Okuyasu was an unknown entity to her, but he seemed… decent enough for her not to see him wind up dead today.

If only I were stronger or if I had something I could use to fight against that monster. But… I don't think judo is going to help me out here.

Behind her, a hoarse wheezing sound assaulted her ears, causing her to turn around to see… a homunculus in clothes, bent down on his knees, dry-heaving.

"Fuck… need… to work out… more…"

"Uh, are you okay?" she asked, taking pity on the strange creature.

"Yeah… yeah, don't worry," he lifted himself back up, wiping sweat off his forehead. "Just reminding myself to not skip leg day again. Who are you?"

"Daphne Blake. I came here up from Crystal Cove for a job offer I saw in the news, you?"

"Name's Charlie, and yeah, same here…" Charlie frowned as he watched the fight unfold. "Although I doubt we'll both have a job if that big-ass fish kills our boss before the first shift ends. Got any ideas?"

"Not a one," Daphne cursed, biting her thumb nervously. "That thing's too big and I doubt you have anything that could bring down that thing, right?"

"Dude, I came here to volunteer for a groundskeeping position, not fight friggin' Godzilla!"

"Thought so," she sighed, turning back to stare grimly at the fight. "All we can do is wait this out and pray that–"

"Hey," Charlie interrupted her by pointing a finger at… something in the distance. "Who the hell is that?"

---

It was supposed to be an easy day for her.

Head to the Park, meet up with the interviewer, discuss past relations and job history, and hope that her charming personality and work ethic would be enough to sway this Benson guy into giving her the job. Relatively simple, right?

…

"Well," Gumball drawled out in the back seat. "Least we know things are as weird here as they are back home."

"It kinda reminds me of Tina a bit," Darwin chirped, oblivious to the danger nearby. "But with more… uh-"

"Of a putrid smell that could burn out your sinuses with one sniff?" Gumball supplied his adopted brother.

"I would've said stench, but yeah, that works."

"Boys, hush!" Nicole chastised them, unbuckling herself and opening the door out of the car.

"Uhh… what're you doing?" Gumball asked incredulously.

Turning to look at her son, she pointed a finger at the giant rampaging monster while giving her eldest child a glare. "That thing," she spat out. "Is the only thing keeping me from meeting up with Mr. Benson and getting a job that will put food on the table and keep the lights on in our apartment, and I am not going to let some Godzilla ripoff stop me from getting us that job!"

"Okay, I see your point," Gumball claps his hands together and raises them to his mouth. "Buuuuuut counterpoint: we leave this place, go get a job working from that masked guy up north, hope he doesn't experiment us because we're talking animals and/or thinks we're enemy spies, and live a nice happy life in his borders? Good plan? Good plan, let's go!"

"What Gumball's saying, Mrs. Mom," Darwin said, punching Gumball in the shoulder. The blue cat cried in pain as Darwin ignored him. "Is that you don't have to impress anyone by fighting that thing. Really, we'll be fine. We don't have to stay here and risk our heads for this."

Nicole hesitates, listening to Darwin's words and casting a look back at the Kaiju. It's true, she tells herself. There's no reason to risk her life, let alone the lives of her babies, just to fight something that dangerous. It wouldn't be the first time she'd done something so reckless, but she had to be more careful of what to watch out for here. This place was different from Elmore and unlike back home, there wasn't any support to rely on here outside of her family.

It was just her and her family.

There was no need to risk their lives over this, she could turn around and drive off. Keep on running like they have for so long.

Just keep running…

…

Inside her mind, a small part of her conscience whispered to her ever so softly.

What happened the last time you ran, Nicole?

And when she remembered exactly that, her mind was made up.

…

"Alright, you big eyeballed goldfish" Nicole hissed, sprinting toward the Kaiju. So far, it had yet to notice her, which was excellent. She needed the element of surprise for this move.

"Time for you to get out of my workplace!"

With a mighty roar, she kicked off from the ground and made a lunge for the one part of the Kaiju's tail that she could hold onto: its tail.

As soon as her arms made contact with the slimy scaly flesh, she let gravity take hold and fell to the ground, holding onto it. And once her feet hit the earth, she tightened her grip and pulled.

---

"GWORRGH?!"

The Kaiju made a step forward to crush the golf-cart, only to be yanked back by some unseen force.

And at that time, Nikolai sees the Kaiju halt momentarily and sees his chance.

"Do svidaniya, fishie," he grimly mutters, watching the Annihilator 9000's salvo streak towards the Kaiju.

And as everybody in the Kaiju's vicinity stared, gobsmacked at Nicole holding onto the monster's tail, only one person took notice of Nikolai's incoming missile… and gathered their wits to speak.

"HOLY SHIT, MISSILE INCOMING!!" Charlie bellowed out, catching everyone's attention. "GET DOWN!!"

And as those like Benson, Okuyasu, Daphne, and Charlie himself did so, Nicole noticed the incoming missile… and smiled.

"Oh!" she chirped happily. "That makes this next part easier for me."

And taking another step in direction of the missile, she pulled on the Kaiju's tail and yanked on it with all her might, muscles straining from the action and no doubt tearing a tendon or two… but none of that mattered to her as she watched the Kaiju's feet leave the earth and sent its body straight towards the missile.

The Kaiju let out one last pitiful roar, unable to escape the clutches of death, and let loose its pain in a howl that would shatter glass for miles… just as the missile impacted with its belly.

---

---

"So! Glad to see everyone could make it here, hope the trip wasn't too arduous for any of you guys."

You chuckle weakly, rubbing the back of your head and trying to ignore the smell of cinders and burnt fish in the air. Your new employees all take a spot on the house's staircase outside, each one grumbling and brushing off ash on their clothes or body.

Behind you, Nikolai beams proudly as he hefts up the Annihilator 9000 on his shoulder.

"See? What'd I tell you, Boss? Capable of blowing that overgrown fish to kingdom come, ha! And you doubted my abilities."

You feel your teeth clench through your smile. "I didn't doubt your abilities, Ni-Ko-Lai," you stress out the syllables of his name, while said goat-man looks away whistling. "I was concerned about the damages to MY PARK!"

"Well, look on the bright side," the strange fish-boy commented next to Nicole, the woman who saved your butts from getting squashed earlier. "Since you run this Kingdom, that means you can funnel all the money tax-payers pay to you guys into rebuilding this place."

Charlie raises an eyebrow at the kid. "I'm pretty sure that's illegal, kid. Besides, the Federal government still exists… I think… anyways, we try anything like that, they'll send out the hit squads on us faster than you can hide a single dollar from them."

"Maybe I can use The Hand to hide the money?" Okuyasu mused, scratching his ass and drawing varying looks of disgust from others. "I mean, I've never really learned where things go after I swipe, but if you were to give me some sort of video camera–"

"Annnnyways," Daphne interrupted, clapping her hands together. "I think we're all getting a little off-track here. For starters, you are Benson, right?"

"Correct."

"Ah, good, good," she nods with a placid smile on her face, the frayed hair seemingly not bothering her. "Nice to meet you, I'm Daphne Blake. Former investigator… ish, and a major in communications from Crystal Cove community college. Glad that you invited me onboard your crew."

"Same here, man!" Okuyasu grins, buffing some scuff marks on his dollar sign emblem. "Name's Nijumura Okuyasu, and I came here from Morioh to escape the shit hole that my old home's gotten after some jerk decided to make a name for himself down there. Between the demons, Heylins, ninjas and other creepy things, Stand users claiming turf for themselves was the last straw. So I dipped to America to find a better place to live."

"Huh," Charlie mused. "That's actually really cool to hear, man. Minus all the stuff about demons and ninjas, that shit sounds awful. Worst we had to go through here are the supervillains and aliens."

"Eh, ain't my first tango with an alien, so I'm cool," Okuyasu waved off Charlie's words, earning a concerned look from the homunculus.

"That's… nice?"

"Ah-hem."

The two men cringed and turned sheepishly to Nicole, who was tapping her foot impatiently.

"If you're both done talking about E.T.s," she said, earning two identical head-shakes from the men. "Thank you. My name is Nicole Watterson, and these two boys are my sons. Gumball and Darwin. We came here from up north to escape everything going on and decided to go with the one King in this country who isn't a sociopathic dictator. I'm a mother first, but a hard worker second."

"Aww, your boys are adorable," Daphne cooed, earning blushes from both boys. "They look so cute, I could just eat them up."

"You have a girlfriend, you have a girlfriend," were the hushed whispers coming from both boys.

You watch the introductions unfold, smiling at how everyone seemed to be getting along. At your side, Nikolai nudges you and you turn, raising an eyebrow.

"The housing situation," he mouths at you, causing you to go 'Ohhhhh!' silently.

Nodding your thanks to him, you turn around and clap your hands, getting their attention.

"Alright, people, listen up," you announce. "I know that it's only just the first day here, but there are some things I want to address now. First of all, did anyone here have any questions about the lease on vacancy in the ads?"

All hands went up, including the boys. You groan inwardly. Great.

"Alright, so here's the truth. Thing is, we have one spare guest room in the House for someone to sleep in. As well as two other places where you guys can sleep at; a garage and a trailer. Keep in mind, however, that you will have to clean them out. The last occupants have been… gone for a while, so it's probably a little more than dusty inside of them."

"Well, that doesn't sound too bad–" Okuyasu starts to say before you cut him off.

"However… I can tell that one of you guys is gonna have to bite the bullet and find another place to sleep outside of the Park. I'm sorry to do this, but truthfully, we're a little behind on some projects here involving construction on guest houses. And that giant Kaiju thing didn't help things any better. Soooo…"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Just for the record, anyone here that chooses to put the single mom with two kids out on the streets is a piece of trash," Gumball deadpanned.

"Well, let's not get so hasty, Benson," Nikolai interjects. "I think everyone here could squeeze into one of the places you just offered, although it will be, ah, cramped. But it should still hold them!"

"That's cool and all," Charlie said. "But who the hell is going where? And with whom?"

---

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The Park House Guest Room (Can Hold Up to 2-3 People)

[ ] Daphne
[ ] Okuyasu
[ ] Charlie
[ ] Nicole
[ ] Gumball & Darwin

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Skips' Garage (Can Hold Up to 2-3 People)

[ ] Daphne
[ ] Okuyasu
[ ] Charlie
[ ] Nicole
[ ] Gumball & Darwin

---

Muscle Man's Trailer (Can Hold Up to 1-2 People)

[ ] Daphne
[ ] Okuyasu
[ ] Charlie
[ ] Nicole
[ ] Gumball & Darwin

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MORTARIUM LASTS EIGHT HOURS
VOTING PROCESS LASTS NINE HOURS