Threads Of Destiny(Eastern Fantasy, Sequel to Forge of Destiny)

Voted best in category in the Users' Choice awards.
[X] You will naturally cooperate with the Ministry of law and any others, but you cannot just leave this matter be (Begin Idol Days Political Quest)

For now i will Vote this but tbh i need to think a bit about it.
 
Did we have a QM reply regarding what extent LQ will have when she leaves this all to the MOI?

Is it assumed that she will follow up enough to satisfy what she told that spirit regarding what she will do?
 
[X] You may not like the priestess much, but she is not wrong here. Working within the Ministries bounds is important (Begin Laws Long Hand Political Quest)
 
Future Days: A wild Hunt
Future Days: A Wild Hunt

Shadows stretched like spears through the darkening woods, each one connecting to another creating a vast web. A forest of shadows mimicking a forest of wood. There was something there, Ling Fang thought, something on the edge of his understanding. He twisted the idea in his mind, running his thoughts alongside it. Searching for that blooming flower that would push him to the next level. What would this insight feel like? Would it be the scent of fresh blood staining the trunks of trees? Would it be the feeling of watchful eyes in the dark? Would it be…?

An explosion rocked his grove, shattering Ling Fang's contemplations.

"There you are Shen Wu! I am not unreasonable, this can be solved peacefully!"

Awareness, once a pinprick focused on his thoughts, exploded outward, following shadows and roots. At the edge of his grove, Ling Fang saw them. A posse of five girls, sweating and covered with crumbling pieces of earth, glared murder at a sixth girl who clutched an injured arm. Ling Fang could see slick blood covering the sixth girl's arm, yet she remained standing and defiant. A body manipulation or pain suppression art of some kind, perhaps? Interesting.

"Reasonable? What reasonable person would destroy my house, ruin my camp, and then chase me off the mountain?" The sixth girl, Shen Wu likely, said.

"This will all be over if you just go to the market square and publicly denounce Lang Xinyi. Maybe claim he stole something from you. I don't care. Just go and denounce him." The leader of the other five girls said.

Ling Fang sighed and hosted himself up with his spear. Bones, gnawed to the point of splinters, fell to the ground, scattering about the grove like some ancient diviner's bowl writ large as he pulled his shadow close. This wasn't going to end soon, better go and make sure nothing damaged his grove. Regrowing any destroyed trees and realigning them would be an annoyance he didn't want to deal with.

"Lie about Lang Xinyi? Why would I do that, Hou Zhengkang?" Shen Wu said. "I am not going to abandon him just for your stupid vendetta."

Shadows stretched and blurred around Ling Fang as he walked, his form stuttering through or around trees without rhyme or reason.

"It's politics." The now named Hou said as she buffed her nails. "I need to show that there are consequences for stealing from and embarrassing me. Otherwise, who would respect me?"

Fey creatures boiled out of the shadows around Ling Fang, each made of eyes and teeth, spun together from shadow and want and hunger. Ling Fang pushed them back down along with his annoyance. Really, Hou needed to work on her voice, that shrill tone sounded like a child on the verge of a tantrum. Nothing good came from having a voice like that.

"He earned his spot in the Elder's class!" Shen Wu said. "He stole nothing!"

Hou Zhengkang's face hardened. "He stole my spot like the rat he is. That deserves punishment."

Behind the first line of trees in the grove Ling Fang stopped and tapped his spear against the ground. He could feel the qi in the air, in the ground, in the girls. A fight was going to break out now. If he waited to stop it though, what secrets would he learn? Now he just needed to wait for the best moment to intervene.

"I've been told," Shen Wu said as she brought her remaining good arm up, "that it is unbecoming of a lady to lash out in anger. Are there no ladies in the Peaks?"

Hou paused. "It seems you need to be educated as well." She said, voice dark and slick with the promise of blood.

Everything happened at once. Heavy blades of air roared out from Hou as her posse leapt into action trying to surround Shen Wu. Shen Wu's foot struck the ground and a wall of mud rose to shield her as she used the force to leap backwards. Ling Fang stepped in between both and shattered the attack and defense with spears of roots that erupted from the ground. Spears that then twisted in the air, bending and writhing, before pointing at everyone involved. The four girls who had leaped into action stumbled to a stop, moments before ramming themselves into the spears.

"What exactly is going on?" Ling Fang said, voice airy and light and strong, just as he had run through his head before entering the fray. A strong voice was needed now, to cow his guests into accepting his invitation.

"This is just a simple dispute." Hou said. "No need for you to intervene, Senior Brother."

"Yet, intervene I have." Ling Fang said, unflinching as he bought time. Everything was almost ready.

"Apologies for disturbing you, Senior Brother." Shen Wu said, giving a deep bow. "I have been fleeing my pursuers and didn't realize where I was."

"Senior Brother," Hou said, interrupting Shen Wu. "Truly this matter does not need your involvement."

"These are my woods." Ling Fang said, gesturing backwards to the darkening forest. "As a host I could hardly not intervene when conflict encroaches on them."

"Senior Brother, we are not yet in your woods." Hou said.

And the trap was set.

"Of course you are." Ling Fang said and then he pointed down. "Whatever the shadow touches is mine." Shadows from the forest had stretched from the dimming sky and everyone was now within those shadows.

Hou lifted one foot up, as if trying to figure out a place she could stand and not be in the shadows. There was nowhere left untouched. "You may not know, Honored Senior Brother," she said as she placed her foot back down, "but I am Hou Zhangkang."

"...And?" Ling Fang said. If she wanted something she would have to offer something else. Those were the rules in the deep forests where shadows ruled.

Her face squirmed like she had bit something sour. "I would consider it a favor, if you were to stand aside."

It was tempting, Ling Fang thought. Such a connection would be useful in the coming years. Yet when he looked at Shen Wu through the roots and shadows he saw a desperate girl, a girl filled with want, a hungry girl. Why? Why was she so driven? He sensed nothing like that from Hou, nothing drove the other girl but the boulder of expectations. He could pry secrets from her, but they would be about the Hou, not the girl. The choice was easy.

"It is very rude for a guest to request special treatment from the host." Ling Fang said. "I will have to ask you to leave."

"So you will stand against me, even knowing my name." Hou said, fingers whitening as she clenched them.

"It is as they say," Ling Fang said, "The peaks are high, but the forest is deep. Leave." The voice that issued the command came from the shadows, and the teeth that lurked there.

She left. Her posse trailing behind her like whipped curs.

That went well, Ling Fang thought as he turned towards the remaining girl. The poor girl was shivering in the growing darkness. Perhaps with the fight now over she was feeling just how close her qi was to exhaustion. Perhaps she was just ill suited to dark nights near forests, not everyone was as comfortable as him with such places after all. Whatever the cause, he would try his best to help his guest.

"Would you like some tea?" Ling Fang said, gesturing to his right. There was now a gazebo there, born from root and shadow. Hanging from the middle of the gazebo was a flickering lantern, one that felt like an instant from dying out, but it never seemed too. Crafting such a thing and sneaking the lamp through his shadows had been difficult, but the look on his guests face was worth the effort.

"Ah… Ah… I'll be g… I'm honored by your hospitality, Senior Brother."

"Enough of that Senior Brother business." Ling Fang said, waving his hand as he walked to the gazebo. "I am an outer sect student, just like you. A year older perhaps, but that is all."

Shen Wu looked flummoxed at the admittance. "I see." She said as she sat down. "I didn't even realize that someone of your strength was in the outer sect. The competition for the inner sect must be stringent indeed for someone like you to be out here."

"Ah.." Ling Fang raked his hand through his hair. "I didn't actually participate in last year's tournament."

"Truly?" Shen Wu said, some of the tension in her shoulders visibly vanishing as Ling Fang arranged a tea set.

"Yes." Ling Fang said as he started to pour out the tea. "If you want to avoid my mistake, then don't start your green breakthrough a week before the tournament. You may end up missing the opening day."

"Breaking through to green takes a week?" Shen Wu said, leaning forward.

"Everyone is different. Everyone takes a different amount of time for their breakthrough." Ling Fang said after he enjoyed a sip of his tea. Smooth bitter flavors reminded him of home and drinking tea with his mother. Judging from Shen Wu's grimace as she sat her tea down she didn't enjoy the tea as much. That was a pity. Shadows crept up the edge of the cup like thin roots and switched out the tea. Perhaps she will enjoy a sweeter blend.

"Now." Ling Fang said. "Let's talk about you."

"Me?" Shen Wu said. "What do you mean?"

"There is a want inside you, a hunger. Something driving you to stand up to five other girls, even though wounded." Ling Fang said. "What is it?" He allowed his qi to flow, to give the sincerity of his request, of the exchange, of his voice, more weight.

Shen Wu sat in the silence, face only lit by the flickering lamp. "I want to be great." She said, breaking the peace that had settled. "I want to be one who changes the world."

"Oh?" Ling Fang said.

"It's possible. I know it is." Shen Wu said. "The Duchess was a single person when she seized control. The previous sect head, Yuan He, marshaled together enough might to destroy Ogedai. Ling Qi created and holds the Iron Road in the depths of the Wall. Tsu, Yao, and Zhi each shifted history by themselves. A single spark can make a wildfire, and I want to be that spark."

"I see. What do you want to change?" Ling Fang said.

Shen Wu slumped in her seat, a lost look crossing her face. "I don't know." She said. "All I know is that I want to change the world, but I don't know what I want to change." Her hand brushed against her eyes. "It sounds silly doesn't it."

"It may sound obvious, but we are here at the sect to learn." Ling Fang said. "Ignorance is the natural state of humans and understanding is a lifelong quest. Keep that passion you have, and someday you will learn what you want to change. Everyone does."

The lantern flickered while Ling Fang watched Shen Wu process what he had said. What secrets about herself would she learn, he wondered, here in the darkness of the forest. He was tempted to push a little bit more, but that would be quite rude to his guest.

"Thank you." Shen Wu said eventually. "I didn't expect to hear encouragement here, but I think I really needed it."

"Often the strangest things are found in the deep forests." Ling Fang said.

"I guess so."

Glancing at the starry sky above him, Ling Fang smiled. Time this wrapped up. "Well, it is getting late, and I suppose your friends will be concerned if you linger much longer." He said.

Staring up at the moonless sky Shen Wu started. "Ah. It is late." She said.

"Please enjoy the rest of the night, and do get that arm looked at." Ling Fang said. With that he tapped his spear against the floor. Shadows pulled and twisted, roots writhed and danced, and between blinks the gazebo disappeared as Ling Fang pulled everything back to the tree line of his grove. Only the flickering lantern, resting on the grass, was left. He watched as Shen Wu blinked around in confusion.

"I didn't even get his name." Shen Wu said, her voice carrying to Ling Fang.

Smiles of teeth without flesh bloomed in the dark around Ling Fang and he joined his smile to their number as he watched Shen Wu wander away. He may have lost the flower he was chasing today, but he had guided a confused rabbit and gleaned secrets from her. That more than made up for the time. Perhaps they would see each other at the New Year tournament. For now though, it was time for a change in what techniques he was cultivating. The black moon rode high tonight, perfect for a hunt.

Into the dark forest, led by Ling Fang, the whirlwind of shadows, roots, teeth, and eyes that made up the Wild Hunt rode, searching for prey and secrets. All that was left to mark the evening's conversations was an old iron lantern that flickered in the dark. Then, even that was gone, sinking into growing shadows.

A.N.
Omake for the Omake throne @yrsillar
I really enjoyed writing this piece, so please enjoy!
 
[X] You will naturally cooperate with the Ministry of law and any others, but you cannot just leave this matter be (Begin Idol Days Political Quest)
 
[X] You may not like the priestess much, but she is not wrong here. Working within the Ministries bounds is important (Begin Laws Long Hand Political Quest)
 
[X] You may not like the priestess much, but she is not wrong here. Working within the Ministries bounds is important (Begin Laws Long Hand Political Quest)
 
[X] You will naturally cooperate with the Ministry of law and any others, but you cannot just leave this matter be (Begin Idol Days Political Quest)
 
[X] You may not like the priestess much, but she is not wrong here. Working within the Ministries bounds is important (Begin Laws Long Hand Political Quest)
 
[X] You may not like the priestess much, but she is not wrong here. Working within the Ministries bounds is important (Begin Laws Long Hand Political Quest)
 
[X] You may not like the priestess much, but she is not wrong here. Working within the Ministries bounds is important (Begin Laws Long Hand Political Quest)

Gotta show we aren't dedicated to being a maverick hotshot - the institutions of the Empire are valuable, beause we don't need to do everything personally. We can't be everywhere, and if we don't make SOME concessions it'd not get any easier if they start nitpicking at us.

Poking at the update a bit more because its loaded.
All that remained was to offer some of her own power, the energy she had cultivated to empower herself, and something in her balked at that. To surrendur even a sliver of her hard earned power made the darkness in her veins twist and pulse.

But it was the right choice. If she satisfied the spirit, Hanyi would be able to continue her performances and grow her reputation. Ling Qi could look at the region's nobles and smile, saying that there was no problem not easily resolved.

Cultivation was key, without it, you were nothing in the eyes of the Empire, but it was not the only power. It wasn't enough on its own, not unless she wished to live alone.
You can almost hear Ling Qi's understanding of Power evolving. Reputation too is Power.

Also @yrsillar typo, surrender not surrendur.
Even if it was the reasonable thing to do, that did not cool the coal of anger burning in her chest. She had not been prepared for unseen enemies to interfere already. Not in something as separated as her Junior Sister's performances.

The inky black pupils at the center of the river spirits' luminous eyes expanded and contracted unsettlingly as the river spirit stared her down. Ling Qi did not allow herself to blink or shift her posture by even a millimeter, confidence was key, whether dealing with humans or spirits. She was not here as supplicant, or tyrant, but a peer.

"Vengeance promised in darkness of old winter satisfies, waters run cold and shallow with freezing, a slaking of thirst Seven Hills Stream does accept, from nameless scion of Mists" the river spirits garbled voice echoed in the mist. There was still a note of dissatisfaction in his voice, but she could sense that the rivers temper was cooled for now. No surge of power flowed through his channels which would bring flood and ruin.
1) Qi is angry, she's quite rarely angry, but striking at Zhengui and Hanyi are known ways to get her mad.
2) I don't think the spirit was staring her down exactly. It was assessing whether she'd keep the deal...and it saw a being of Darkness being furious because what was Hers had been infringed upon. It can trust that.

She spent some time among them, mingling with her fellow nobles. After her negotiation with the river spirit, it was almost relaxing to field questions about the 'unique twists' to the ritual and deflect with smile and some words about changing conditions.

Hidden Smile rises to 4

Hidden Smile(G): 4
Even under duress,you maintain your composure in difficult social situations, hiding what needs to be hidden and showing what needs to be shown. In turn, you have some skill at detecting the cracks in your peers' facades.

There was some legitimate unease, but between her confidence and the silence of the clergy it was no more than that. It seemed that, whatever their opinion on her, the priests had no interest in showing weakness either.
Hmm, did they notice, or were they primed to ask the right question?
"Of course I knew that there were ten rivers," Bao Qian seeming a bit offended at her question. "I was assured in our correspondence that the priests were planning a special individual ceremony for the Seven Hills Stream, since it's source was in the snowmelts and might view this as an intrusion."

"I hope that you kept every piece of the correspondence then," Ling Qi said stiffly, her temper had cooled, but she still felt very irritated by all this.

"As do I, since I wrote of no such thing," An older woman's voice reached them, and Ling Qi frowned as she peered through the door to their destination. It was a rest room, filled with tables and benches for the ritual performers to relax in. Right now it held only the older woman and Hanyi. Her junior sister was looking a bit smug, and the two of them seemed to be studiously ignoring each other.

"High Priestess," Ling Qi greeted, entering the room with a bow. "I was able to prevent any immediate issues."

She didn't let her voice waver toward pride too much.

Chao Yanlin narrowed her eyes. "Yes, though we shall see what a river spirit drunk on Darkness might do in the coming year. How did you achieve your negotiations so quickly, baroness?"

"I must keep my methods to myself," Ling Qi replied. "As you see here it is sometimes necessary to have some secrets."
A completely faked letter is probably something that divination could probe successfully.
Though heh, a Qi-flavored Darkness would probably make the spirit a bit more active...maybe adopting someone or taking a pet.

Dreamwalk is really excelling here, I doubt the Plotter expected the problem to be solved so quickly that the spirit never had the chance to act up.

And as success needs no justification, the Priestess moderated her immediate reaction...though Hanyi smugging there isn't helping.

"Lady Ling's privacy is not up for debate, but I do apologize for any trouble. You can be sure the temple will receive a donation to aid in covering any lingering trouble," Bao Qian said diplomatically, stepping in behind her. "Lady Chao, might you want to share the other issue which came up during the procession."

Chao yanlin shook out her sleeve, the tiny bells woven into the fabric ringing, and an iron cage appeared on the table between her and Hanyi, in it were a variety of pulsing lights bobbing and bouncing crazily in the confines. They were dark blue black and shimmering white, winter faeries, if Ling Qi had her guess. "There was further sabotage. An attempt to disrupt the ritual using a bound mortal servant."

"Luckily, my own arts were able to detect something wrong with the man carrying the spirit cages, since Lady Ling informed me that high alert was necessary. Unfortunately there was little to be gained from the poor mortal."
Mental influence? Or just didn't know what he was doing?

"Sloppy," Ling Qi said, squinting at the cage. The faeries shrank back under her gaze, huddling at the bottom of the cage. "What would releasing these have accomplished?"

"Important rituals interact with the flow of the world's energies, the regions meridians, if you must compare it to human cultivation. Introducing foreign qi into the midst of a ritual unplanned would confuse and anger the spirits of the land, and may even cause them to lash out at the performers, perceiving an insult," Chao Yanlin said sourly.
Okay, adding potential injury to the insult.
Thats a lot of powerful spirits lashing out at Hanyi.

And the consequences of all ten spirits rioting would be disastrous.
"Why isn't there more security then?" Ling Qi asked with a frown.

"Because open sabotage like this is not done," the woman shot back. "Not since her grace's reforms to the Ministry."

"It seems really sloppy to me," Hanyi said absently, watching the fairies dart around their cage. "The Duchess is really scary, you'd have to be pretty dumb to break her rules like that."

There was a shared moment of silence among the three of them. Truth from the mouths of children indeed.
And Hanyi hits the nail on the head. This can't be a professional job.
The pros know Shenhua's reforms are not to be fucked with and work around it.

"It does seem very hasty and ill advised," Bao Qian said. "But before we get too far, the letters?"

Ling Qi was silent as the two of them spread letters across the table. It did seem sloppy.

"Might be someone panicked when you ran off. If you were supposed to be here, maybe these little fellas were meant for something else?" Sixiang mused.

She watched as Bao Qian and the priestess spread out their letters, stabbing their fingers down at the suspicious ones and politely bickering over their origin. Someone had altered the mail as well, that was clear. Most importantly it was becoming clear that this was more than idle sabotage. Someone was looking to seriously undermine her and her sister.
As already mentioned, fucking with the mail is a capital crime in ancient China.

Yes, this doesn't apply to the more slapdash civilian mail, but this is correspondence between two nobles and one of the clergy regarding a strategically important(if routine) ceremony.

You'd have to be ignorant or pissed beyond measure.
"Whoever did this was quite a forger," Bao Qian said sourly. There was no trace of his joviality. "Although, I do believe they made a mistake."

"Oh, and what is that?" asked Chao Yanlin, looking as if she had bitten into something sour herself. "By my measure, you were bamboozled completely."

Ling Qi bit her tongue to keep from pointing out that the priestess had been tricked as well. It wasn't helpful.

Bao Qian rubbed a finger across the text of one of the offending letters. "I had no reason to find it suspect before, but the ink used in the altered letters is different. "The soot in it comes from a specific grove of valley pines."

"How do you know that?" Ling Qi asked curiously.

"Family trade secrets," Bao Qian said.

"How convenient," Chao Yanlin said.
Yanlin is still kind of suspecting we might have staged this to boost our own cred?

"Hey, none of you are going to eat those, right?" Hanyi asked, interrupting them to point at the cage of fairies.

"Hanyi," Ling Qi sighed.

"Hey, its not just cause I'm hungry. I bet you I can tell you where they came from if you let me eat a few," Hanyi said defensively. When Momma went wandering with her second soul to visit other ice spirits she'd bring me treats like this from all over the place."
Also neat - Hanyi's born as an offshoot from a genius loci, which are conglomerate spirits. She is quite literally what she eats, and that might actually contribute to how unusual she is.

...we should get her snacks on the next expedition, unless she's already been nibbling on everything along the way.

She has, hadn't she?
Ling Qi gestured, and Hanyi's hand shot out kicking up sparks as it slipped between the bars of the spirit cage to snatch a pale blue fairie. The little thing let out a distressed shriek, it's delicate wings fluttering furiously as Hanyi popped it into her mouth and brought her teeth together with a sharp crunch, like a sugar candy being chewed.

Like a candy, Hanyi spent a few long moments chewing and rolling it around in her mouth before swallowing. She grinned and the rest of the faeries cowered.
Every so often Hanyi reminds you that she's not JUST a cute kid, but the child of a local apex predator.
"Oh this one's easy. It's from the Green Stone Gleaming, its tangy."

Ling Qi frowned in confusion.

"Mount Tong," Chao Yanlin said. "That would be…"

"In the same viscounty as the pine groves. It is the great quantities of copper in the soil which lends the pine soot its properties after all," Bao Qian said triumphantly. "Our letters would have passed through the Ministry of Communication office in Ganjian, would they not?
Copper, which is Tong. Same Tong as Tonghou
...it can't be that they're butthurt enough to keep going even now, are they?

Also hah, we learned which of Bao Qian's techniques ID'ed the ink and why he didn't pay any notice before - its an art that detects and analyzes minerals, possibly from his spirit heritage.

He wouldn't pay any attention to the findings because there's such traces everywhere.
 
Copper, which is Tong. Same Tong as Tonghou
...it can't be that they're butthurt enough to keep going even now, are they?
Mmm, I'd have thought Tonghou and that viscounty would be a bit out of the way for the mail to pass through to the Argent Sect... but the map is rough and yrs was saying he'd probably need to adjust its details to better reflect how he was picturing things...

Easy enough to shift details around the Wang/Diao border region if needed.
 
There may be no direct routes, the empire is mostly wilderness, so the fastest way to actually deliver a message may be the long way around.
And even if there is a faster way, it may just be cheaper to throw a letter into regular mailbag going to Tonghou and from there to Argent Sect.

So the letter went through Imperial Ministry. That would, i think, make it lot more serious than just a random merchant or courier delivering a message.
Not "Shenhua comes and personally murderizes everyone" serious, but i would expect there will be someone coming along quite shortly from the capital who will be wanting some answers.
Now the question is, was someone messing with the ministry, or was it someone in the ministry itself?
Unless someone managed to waylay the letter before it reached ministry, or after it left it, for the switch.
 
[X] You may not like the priestess much, but she is not wrong here. Working within the Ministries bounds is important (Begin Laws Long Hand Political Quest)
 
Man, faeries in this world have it rough, always seeming to be at the bottom of the food chain regardless of what element or environment they're aligned to. The only exception I can think of is Linhuo.

[X] You may not like the priestess much, but she is not wrong here. Working within the Ministries bounds is important (Begin Laws Long Hand Political Quest)
 
[X] You may not like the priestess much, but she is not wrong here. Working within the Ministries bounds is important (Begin Laws Long Hand Political Quest)
 
[X] You may not like the priestess much, but she is not wrong here. Working within the Ministries bounds is important (Begin Laws Long Hand Political Quest)
 
Linhuo's normal lifespan is like...a couple of hours, if she wasn't caught for a gift
I meant more in a power level sense, since she seemed to be naturally stronger than every other faerie we've otherwise seen (she'd have to be for Xiulan to even consider it worth specifically seeking out and binding a Heaven Spark Faerie). Half as long, twice as bright, trading longevity for power barring cultivator intervention so she's not just a floating snack for any spirit beast that passes by like every other type of faerie.
 
[x] You may not like the priestess much, but she is not wrong here. Working within the Ministries bounds is important (Begin Laws Long Hand Political Quest)
 
[X] You will naturally cooperate with the Ministry of law and any others, but you cannot just leave this matter be (Begin Idol Days Political Quest)

I am more concerned on how this might be a choice more of LQ's character. Both options seem to work with the investigation but this SOB attacked Hanyi. This may not be as serious as poison but this could have stopped Hanyi from performing for years.

I do not want LQ to simply hand this matter off and wash her hands. This one is personal.
 
[X] You may not like the priestess much, but she is not wrong here. Working within the Ministries bounds is important (Begin Laws Long Hand Political Quest)
 
[X] You may not like the priestess much, but she is not wrong here. Working within the Ministries bounds is important (Begin Laws Long Hand Political Quest)
 
[X] You will naturally cooperate with the Ministry of law and any others, but you cannot just leave this matter be (Begin Idol Days Political Quest)
 
@Neshuakadal I liked the omake! I found it especially enjoyable thinking about how an older outer sect member might just claim entire tracts of land for personal cultivation projects, warping the environment to suit their needs. Especially if they are not in a rush to advance.

There is something that was really jarring though that I think a bit of work can fix.

"It's possible. I know it is." Shen Wu said. "The Duchess was a single person when she seized control. The previous sect head, Yuan He, marshaled together enough might to destroy Ogedai. Ling Qi created and holds the Iron Road in the depths of the Wall. Tsu, Yao, and Zhi each shifted history by themselves. A single spark can make a wildfire, and I want to be that spark."

The ordering of these names doesn't seem to fit any pattern, flip-flopping around from recent, to older, to even more recent, to ancient. Organizing them by a pattern I think would help the flow of this. Other than that, I'm surprised that Ling Qi is mentioned and not the Sage Emperor, who seems would be the ultimate example of what Shen Wu's ambition is, a single man who forged an empire through his drive.
 
Back
Top