"I am surprised you take so well to being in the light."
Shu Yue's head tilted, their ear nearly touching their shoulder as they looked down at her. It earned barely a glance as they wandered down a branch boulevard lined with impromptu stalls, hawking festival goods of all kinds. Her eyes wandered across the crowd. They were not walking unnoticed. Eyes were not sliding across them, and though she did see passerby giving her mentor enough of a berth that they were not brushed and jostled like she was…
It was much less than her expectations.
"Here, I am known," Shu Yue said simply. There was a little bit of wistful wonder in their voice, as they stretched out a long arm, and dropped a few glittering stones on a stall counter, plucking a basket full of still steaming jam filled buns.
Ling Qi took on when Shu Yue offered it, inhaling the scent of spice and the fruit jam and the dough, along with the streamers of light airy qi infused into it. It was no pill or elixir, but potent nonetheless.
Shu Yue's jaw stretched strangely as they they tossed a bun into their mouth. They did not chew.
"Do you actually taste things?" Ling Qi asked absently.
"I bet they do," Sixiang said, squinting down at their own bun, before taking a nibbling bite. "Just uses different mechanics eh? I'm still kinda getting the hang of things."
"Mortal foods have little flavor, but this, I enjoy well enough. It is as the muse says," Shu Yue said calmly.
Ling Qi hummed, taking a bite of her own bun. Her eyes widened a fraction as the sweet jam released a burst of sweet qi over her tongue along with the jam. Combined with the airy qi in the dough, it left her with a pleasant buzz on her tongue as she savored chewing it. She hadn't felt her mouth water so since the first days of the Sect, with its unlimited access to a bounty she couldn't have dreamed of in Tonghou.
…When did she decide she couldn't be bothered with such things anymore? She couldn't even remember.
"Want is never a static thing, a single thing. When we are fulfilled we only turn to yearning for what else we do not have. Even as old wants fade into the background," Shu Yue said. "In this there is the bottomless hunger of those who are naught but darkness is not wrong."
"Contentment can be fleeting, but to have so little of it… no those things are incomplete existences. Without the ability to hold anything…"
"A vessel which leaks away all its contents is a useless one indeed. Any potter would be ashamed to sculpt such a thing," Shu Yue chuckled.
Ling Qi ducked her head, falling silent as she took another bite, allowing the moment to pass in silence. "...I did not mean insult."
"I took none. The nameless wraith is not Shu Yue, or rather not all of them. Shu Yue lives here, the mind atop the seething thing beneath," they said, tapping their chin. "But this is not unique, save in its artificiality. You understand?"
…Humans were not only their consciousness, the thoughts and feelings and mind at the fore. Instinct, drive, Want, it bubbled up from beneath those things, the dark soil and roots from which the lotus bloomed.
"Hah, yeah, the same stuff we muses are made of. Its no wonder most of us flit around for awhile and then explode like a firework when whatever got enough bits together to make a go at being person goes away," Sixiang laughed. "And man, I gotta hand it to ya, going 'maskless' is a heck of a lot easier."
She shot her friend an unamused look.
"A face has its benefits," Shu Yue rasped. "You cling to yours tightly indeed, muse."
"I do, yeah," Sixiang said, glancing toward Ling Qi with a winning smile.
She brushed the crumbs of dough off of her fingers as they entered another square, where the paths to other branches converged. This one was far less raucous than the last, rather than a strange device dispensing potent alcohol, there was a great bonfire in the center, burning with some kind of smokeless flame that cycled between the shades of visible color. There were only a thin few motes of fire qi in the whole display, most of it arising from…. Earth qi? How strange. It appeared to be burning some sort of rock for fuel though, so that made sense.
People were making merry around it though, as they would any other bonfire, men and women inf ine robes clapping and dancing just the same as rustic mortals would at a mundane festival.
"I suspect we aren't here to dance," Ling Qi said quietly.
"I would be entertained, but known or no, I would only cast a pall," Shu Yue said amusedly. "You are correct. "I will leave you to enjoy the material when the lesson is done. "Come, our venue is this way."
Ling Qi followed them curiously as they skirted the edfe of the crowd, parting them with little effort, until she saw ahead a spot of darkness in the bright festival lights. It was a building… a concert hall she thought, dark and empty inside, and even she could not feel so much as an echo of song from within it.
"...I am surprised something could remain empty for so long here in the Cloud District. What was it?"
"The concert hall of one of the apprentices of Grandmaster Jiang," Shu Yue said as they stepped from the center of the street onto the tiled path which lead to the shadowed doors. The sounds of the street so bright and loud a moment ago, became muted only a few steps. Down that path.
Ling Qi regarded it curiously. Despite the dust, even the cobwebs clinging to the eaves and faded, peeling walls… She did not believe for one second this place was abandoned.
"What kinda sticky end did he come too?" Sixiang asked casually.
"His Father was the vice minister of the Ministry of Law. I believe the Hui liaison to the Ministry ordered that his Father carry out the execution order personally. The son submitted himself to his father's blade when he heard his Master had already fallen," Shu Yue replied, their fingers brushed the heavy wooden doors, and they creaked open loud and slow.
Ling Qi closed her eyes as the cold interior air washed over them, musty, thick with grief and melancholy. "...This is your house then, teacher?"
Shu Yue's lips curled up, almost to their ears. "Yes. One could say this. I would call it a… studio. I have little need for what most do with a 'house'."
"So you've preserved it in this state for a reason," Ling Qi said, looking into the yawning entry hall. There were shadows within that her eyes could not penetrate, and she could feel the subtle warping of space within, the signs of a place half immersed int the liminal.
"The unquiet spirits have been exercorcised, but I find the ambience useful to my meditations," Shu Yue agreed. They ducked low, their spine crackling like breaking ice as they stepped inside and half turned, beckoning her with a a pale hand. "It is a thin place, as you can feel."
"You got that right," Sixiang said, stepping in ahead of her and peering around. They waved their hand through the air and it rippled like a silk curtain that had been disturbed.
Ling Qi followed after, feeling the atmosphere of the place on her skin like a cold wind as the door drifted shut behind them, closing off all light. "And this is where you feel comfortable giving the lighter lesson?"
"Indeed."
Shu Yue said no more than that, leaving them to follow down the hall, through the ripples of stretched space.
"What is the foundation of Want?"
Ling Qi paused, behind Shu Yue as they came too a larger set of internal doors. Ornate things, painted with peeling red color. The doorframe was lovingly carved into a wreathe of flowers and vines, all of it was dull with dust. Dust that stayed in place even as the portal creaked open with agonizing slowness before her mentor's silhouette.
"Hunger. The foundation of want is hunger, the base needs of the body," Ling Qi said. "In the absence of food, of drink, of warmth, of company, all other things fade."
"Oh? Such a prosaic answer," Shu Yue said neutrally passing into the ill lit hall beyond.
Even with her senses, it was hard to perceive the full details, but she could feel the capacity of it, the high ceiling, the distant walls, the thick but faded carpet and the grooves in the floor where seating benches had once been fixed.
Ling Qi chuckled quietly. "I think anyone who has another one should cease regulating their digestion with qi and go without repast until their limbs are weak and their head spins, until their stomach feels like a desperate animal howling for release, and the idea of digging through a trash heap for a scrap of sustenance is no longer repulsive."
She spoke lightly, but those memories would never leave her. She had bound them up in her domain blade, so that she would never forget isolation and privation, never let her roots become something distant and dreamed of.
"Good. You have your answer, and the will to defend it," Shu Yue said. There was a whisper and rustle of cloth as they turned to face her. In the shadows of the hall their round face and long hands were almost luminous, points of light in the dark. "My answer is this. The foundation of Want is the avoidance of pain, and retribution for what cannot be avoided."
Ling Qi pondered this, she could see the reflection of her own answer in this, but it was not quite the same.
"Man both of ya'll are gloomy. Can't you say Want is the desire for better things?" Sixiang said, they wandered away from her, their own frame a faint glow in the hall as they wandered further in.
"That comes later."
Both she and Shu Yue spoke at the same time, her voice overlapping the elder cultivators raspy whisper.
Sixiang gave a sigh of performative disgust, throwing up their hands helplessly.
Ling Qi chuckled. "It is the pain of lacking that drives hunger. But retribution…? It can drive you strongly, but it seems absurd to call such a luxury foundational."
She recalled her friend Bai Meizhen and the girls frustration with her lacking drive to punish Yan Renshu… at least compared to her own. It was well and to pay back grudges, but that was the privilege of the strong. The foundation of Want lay in weakness.
"Because what harmed you most was negligence and apathy. Malice was only ever a fleeting thing, a raised fist and a shout from a face who would forget you in a matter of hours," Shu Yue said clinically. "Thus your answer."
Ling Qi was silent as her mentor lowered their head thoughtfully, their inky black hair spilling almost to the floor. Her joking smile faded as she looked up into Shu Yue's blank face
"When you are scoured by malice, when it is not the cold world blurring by which harms you, when privation and suffering have a face. That is where my answer grows," Shu Yue's rasp echoed deeply, and the building groaned in response, the walls shuddering. Something sloshed beneath the floorboards, the scent of copper and the bitter scent of terror sweat reached her nose. "Then. Then you may know what it is to Want retribution, even if it should starve you, should freeze you, should burn you, even should it hollow you out and take every meager scrap within. All of that if only the one who hurts you could be made to stop, could be made to suffer."
Children laughing, children sobbing, to mingled together to tell which was which.
"Spite and resentment are intrinsic to the hearts of men. Though you may be on the path to carving them away, I would not suggest it. You will not know the hearts of others without them," Shu Yue said. The skin crawling sounds of children receding back into the depths of the theater. You should know how much one may harm themselves to fulfill a grudge."
"...Yan renshu is the strange one though," Ling Qi said. "Others…"
Shu Yue was silent. "He is not so strange as you think. It was not merely the casting off of shackles for which the cultivators of Xiangmen roar their joy."
"It was the fulfillment of their deepest yearning to see the webs of heaven burn."
*****
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*****
AN: Still wrong about the length till the vote but hopefully folks enjoy this stretch with Shu Yue.