Game of the Year: A Naruto Quest

@Vesvius

@Vesvius I made a thing!

The Prank

Naruto was practically vibrating with Anticipation. Today was the day. He hadn't pranked Satomura since that thing with the Fan way back at the start of the Year, and that had only turned out like it did because the fan was a family heirloom. He figured that so long as he didn't mess with Daisuke's Fan or Sword he would be able to prank the Pretty Boy without too many consequences.

Oh, he'd thought long and hard about how to get Satomura back for being such an arrogant Prick. Really, the guy was almost as bad as the Teme, and Satomura didn't even have the excuse of being an Uchiha to cover for his bad attitude! Naruto was struck with a bit of brilliance last night. What did Satomura put the most effort into on a day to day basis? Obviously his looks! The Guy was like the Definition of Bishounen, he could probably be mistaken for a girl if looked at from far enough away!

So Naruto had done the legwork, found out where Satomura lived, what places he frequented, what times he was out and about. He'd been trailing Satomura for about a week now, using his stealth and Henge to best effect. People often looked down on Naruto's Skills because he usually skipped lessons or did things his own way, like with Taijutsu, where he used a combination of improvisation and outlasting his opponents to see him through the day. In actuality, Naruto was highly skilled at Stealth, Trapmaking, and Henge. He had to be to pull off so many pranks and consistently escape ANBU pursuit. He was sure Satomura hadn't noticed him.

That night, while Satomura was out doing evening training and his mom was out doing. . .whatever it was rich ladies do at night to pass the time, Naruto Snuck into Daisuke's House using the spare key he had observed being placed in the bottom of a water feature in his back garden. The hiding place would have fooled a lot of people, but Naruto had been observing Daisuke for about a week and a half now.

Entering the Satomura Household from the back garden, Naruto crept to Daisuke's Bathroom. He had to be quick about this, he wouldn't have much time if Daisuke came back from Evening Training with the weird bushybrows taijutsu sensei he had and his team. Spotting his target, Naruto quickly poured out Daisuke's Shampoo down the drain and filled the Bottle with a concoction of his own design that would remove Daisuke's Hair. It was the beginning of the Marking Period so Daisuke should grow it back in time for the end. It was just a little harmless prank. Satomura couldn't be mad at him for that, right?

When he was done here, he quickly exited the Satomura House the same way he entered, relocking the back door and placing the Key back in the bottom of the Water Feature in the Back Garden. Daisuke should be none the wiser and tomorrow he would be bald in class. Naruto couldn't wait. . .

XXXX

The Next Day however, Daisuke walked into class with his hair still intact and Naruto couldn't believe it. He had a grimace on his face the entire day all the way up until Taijutsu Sparring, where he had been paired up with Daisuke. The pair made the seal of conflict before the Match Started and it looked like Daisuke was glaring Daggers at Naruto.

"I Know you were in my house, you replaced my Shampoo." Intoned Daisuke, dangerously.

Naruto Gulped at the tone and said, "You look fine, it was just a harmless prank."

"Naruto, what is one of the three Ninjutsu we learn at the Academy?" Asked Daisuke, still in that low tone.

"Henge? You're Under Henge?" Asked Naruto.

"My Reserves and Control are good enough that I can keep this up until I go home. You on the other hand. . .Well it's time for you to take your medicine." Intoned Daisuke.

Naruto gulped, "H-hey, can't we talk this out?" He asked.

"This is for your own good Naruto, you need to learn to pick your targets." Replied Daisuke.

Daisuke beat Naruto six ways from Sunday in that spar, using techniques taught to him by Maito Gai. Naruto was so sore for about a day afterwards that he thought he would never recover. Of course, he did eventually, but there was one thing for damn certain.

Naruto would never prank Satomura Daisuke ever again. . .

@Vesvius

Appologies for errors. Composed on cellphone.

Seperate post for threadmark reasons.

You shake off your frustration and stare off in the direction Ino retreated in for a long moment. By all that is holy, you want to go after her. She needs some time to vent and honestly, so do you. The two of you could yell out your frustrations over the lunch break and make things… well, not better. But you'd feel better.

But no. That's not the right thing to do. The right thing to do is to get up, go find your… your team and try and bond with them.

You glance over your shoulder, at your new teammates. At Kiba, who's scratching Akamaru and acting like he doesn't have a care in the world. At Mariko, who's stopped glaring daggers at you long enough to start ignoring you entirely.

...maybe Ino hasn't gotten that far yet?

No, no. That would be the wrong thing to do. Besides, Mother made extra for lunch today just so that you could share it with your new teammates. If they don't eat it, it'll just go to waste. And if you tell Mother that it went to waste, she's be displeased. And if she's displeased, well… best make sure that doesn't happen.

With that thought at the forefront of your mind you finally stand up out of your seat and turn around. After exchanging commiserating looks with Yui, who looks about as happy as you feel, you look over at your two teammates. "Excuse me," you say to them levely. "I have extra food today. Would you like to share it?"

"Aww yeah!" Kiba calls as he moves Akamaru back to his jacket. "What'd Manami-san make today? Is it those little dumplings with the chicken in them? Tell me it's those little dumplings with the chicken in them!"

Mariko, on the other hand, couldn't look less enthused. "Like, how about no?" she replies dismissively. "Some of us actually have the dedication to stick to our diets after all!"

Kiba chuckles condescendingly and shakes his head. "Stupid of ya, but alright. More for me! Daisuke, dumpling me!"

"Stupid?!" Mariko barks in a way that leaves no doubt of her relationship with Ino. "How is dieting stupid?! It keeps you free of the impurities you find in most foods, it helps you keep weight off which increases your speed, and it makes you look good!"

You can't help but laugh. "I apologize, but I have to side with Kiba on this. Dieting may help you keep your weight down, but that does nothing to help your speed. Only increasing muscle development will do that. And as for the rest, you're a kunoichi. You'll look fine without starving yourself, and doing so will cause you to lose stamina and strength quickly. And it decreases-"

"Psh!" Mariko snorts, cutting you off. "Like you know anything about it!"

You fight to keep from rolling your eyes. Of course you know anything about it! Your best friend is Yamanaka fucking Ino! You've heard about three dozen trendy diets in the last year alone! Trendy diets, by the way, that you have poked holes in each and every time. Seriously; the hell is the 'aroma' diet and what kind of sense does it make?!

But you don't point that out to her. This is probably the longest, most pleasant conversation you've had with Mariko in years. Hell, you haven't had to draw your sword on her once! You don't want to kill off any progress you've made. So instead you shrug and hop up the desks, taking an empty one a few seats between Mariko and Kiba before doing as the shaggy ninja asked and tossing him a few dumplings.

Kiba bites down and starts gnawing on your gift with healthy enjoyment. "Oh yeah," he says through a mouthful of dumpling. "That's the good stuff!"

From your other side you can almost hear Mariko's shudder. "Oh good god chew with your mouth closed!" she calls.

"Make me!" Kiba garbles as he splits a dumpling in half. The filling, he scoops out and leaves for Akamaru before tossing the rest in with the slush that used to be another dumpling.

You inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, and do your best to turn your attention away from Kiba. "She's not wrong," you tell her. "Please keep your mouth closed."

"You heard 'em Akamaru! Chew with your mouth closed!"

"Ruff!"

...this is your future. This is your next six months to forever. A team made up of a girl who despises you, a boy who's manners are so disgusting they cause you physical pain, and a dog. And the dog is by far the least of your issues.

"What do you say, Akamaru?" you ask plaintively. "You come join me, we'll leave Kiba behind until eating next to him doesn't cause my stomach to rebel. Does that sound good?"

"Grrrawrl?"

"I'll throw in half a cow. I have a friend who has a friend."

"Bark Bark!"

Kiba reaches up absently and grabs Akamaru before the dog can take more than two steps in your direction. "Traitor!" he growls at the dog. "Abandoning me for meat! What kind of companion are you?"

Akamaru growls back and you turn, looking at Mariko, almost desperate for some normal conversation. Even if that normal conversation is barbs being thrown back and forth. But you find no reprieve there. The blonde is daintily picking at a salad- extra tomatoes- with a heavily ornamented pair of chopsticks and looking everywhere but at you and Kiba.

Well, just because she's not willing to try and talk doesn't mean that you should remain silent. "Interesting salad," you say. "Do you like tomatoes?"

"They're alright."

Fuck. Short answers with no explanations. The death knell of any conversation. But you're still game to keep trying. "I don't think I've seen you have those chopsticks before. Are they new?"

"No."

Yeah, you're going to have to chalk this up as a lost cause. You lapse into silence that grows more and more uncomfortable with each passing moment. Still, uncomfortable silence is worlds better than angry sniping or coming to blows. You're going to count this as a win!

The uncomfortable silence from you and Mariko and the never ending chatter of Kiba and Akamaru goes on for the entire extra long lunch break and well into the time when all the other newly minted Genin return to await their sensei. The reappearance of your classmates at least reassures you that you didn't have the most annoying lunch; Sasuke's covered in scuff marks and has rope burn around his wrists and is glaring daggers at Naruto. And Shikamaru is wearing a weary look on his face that shows that he and Chouji found Ino and she continued to not be happy about her new placement. The girl herself storms back into the room right before the bell rings and gives you a commiserating look before dropping down next to her hereditary team.

It isn't long after the last Genin files in that the Jounin-sensei start to make their appearance. Team Ten is the first to get called out when someone who looks like a younger version of Hokage-sama with a cigarette hanging from his lips calls them. Then it's Team Three, led away by a massive man with a mane of hair down to the small of his back and a Kanebo that makes Jabari's look like a toothpick. Then Team Twelve, whose sensei appears to be the single most peppy Nara you have ever seen.

That's Yui's team, and she passes you as she walks down the stairs. "Good luck," you mutter.

"I have no need," she replies through her trademark mysterious grin. "I have skill." And then she's gone. You hope her skills are enough to compensate for having Ren on her squad. Fucking Ren.

Then it's your turn when a woman with waist-length black hair who looks quite a few years younger than the rest of the Sensei so far comes in the door. "Team Eleven!" she calls, husky voice raised to be heard over the clamor of the students. "Team Eleven!"

That's your cue. You hop up and trot down the stairs, Mariko at your heels and Kiba bounding down the desks themselves. You gather in front of your new sensei and she looks carefully at each of you, as if committing your faces to memory. "It is good to put faces to names," she greets you. "Follow me please."

Kurenai-sensei doesn't wait to see if you'll follow her instruction before turning and walking from the room. You all head after her instantly, dodging through the crowded halls that she barely seems to notice to keep her in sight. It only gets harder once you make it out of the Academy itself. There, Kurenai-sensei doesn't bother walking; she goes straight from walking to sprinting, effortlessly running down the path. The three of you freeze for a second before following suit.

It's impossible to keep up with Kurenai-sensei. She's just faster than you. But either through coincidence or more likely on purpose, she keeps just far enough ahead of you to stay in sight. Not that's he's hard to spot; Kurenai-sensei dresses like no one else you've seen, with long white strips of fabric hanging from what you can only assume is a red dress slash undermesh. It's distinctive to say the least.

You're grateful for the run. Running is something your body can do automatically by this point which leave your mind free to cudgel itself for any and all information you can recall about Yuhi Kurenai. What you've learned since being born as Daisuke could probably fill a thimble. You know she's known for being good at Genjutsu, and that Anko-hime- she insists you call her that- thinks of her as a friend. And what you know from before becoming Daisuke is barely more expansive. Was she dating Team Ten's sensei? You hope you're remembering that right. That might mean you'll at least get to see Ino more often than you usually would.

Kurenai-sensei reaches her destination after five minutes of running when she takes a sharp right turn towards the outskirts of the village. Following her finds her sitting casually on a bench set up near a large pond. Your map says that you're at Training Ground 23 which you make a note of. You've never been quite sure how many Training Grounds Konoha has, but apparently there's at least 23 of them.

Your sensei studies you all for a long moment. After careful consideration she nods once. "That wasn't bad," she greets you. "But improvements can be made. Mariko, your explosiveness is poor. Daisuke, you have trouble handling corners. Kiba, your endurance is atrocious. Work on that."

Beside you, Kiba puffs up. "Yeah, I'm not supposed to be a distance runner! I'm-"

"-not supposed to be talking right now? Agreed." Kurenai-sensei says finally. "But don't worry. You'll have time to tell me how wrong I am later. But for now, please, take a seat."

You shrug and do so, dropping down on the dirt in front of the bench. Kiba takes longer but he does the same. Mariko, however, pauses and perches herself on the edge of the bench Kurenai-sensei has claimed for her own. Your sensei narrows her red eyes almost imperceptibly at the unspoken byplay between the team, but she says nothing about it.

"Before we truly get going, let's introduce ourselves," Kurenai-sensei says. "I'll start. My name is Yuhi Kurenai, I'm 26, and I can only sleep when facing a mirror. Your turn," she says.

Kiba, who she gestured at, looks taken aback. "Huh?"

Kurenai-sensei shakes her head. "Name, age, and an interesting fact. Something that will really stand out about you."

"Oh," Kiba grunts, looking down as he thinks. "Well, um, I'm Inuzuka Kiba, I'm 13, and I… my favorite kind of meat is mutton?" He asks as much as says. At Kurenai-sensei's nod, he breathes a sigh of relief.

Mariko is next. "My name is Yokota Mariko, I'm 12, and I know three Genjutsu." Huh. Obviously angling to impress Sensei, but okay.

Now Sensei's eyes are on you. Thankfully, you're well accustomed to public speaking by this point.

"I am Satomura Daisuke, I am 13, and…."
[] I killed a man at 5 years old.
[] I'm the Rookie of the Year.
[] I can't cook at all.
[] Write-In (Tag @Vesvius for Approval)
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