13th March 2011
22:48 GMT -4
"Recognised, Superboy, B zero four, Orange Lantern, B zero six."
Kon and I trudge out of the cave zeta tube in the general direction of the kitchens. It
was nice to see the chaps and chapesses of the Metropolis Special Crimes Unit again, but it's… It's been kind of a long day.
"Hey." Kon looks at me. "Kitchen?"
Ring? M'gann and Zatanna are there, while the Atlanteans and.. Roy the First are in the hangar.
"Kitchen.
"
We amble along the corridors in a kitchenward direction.
"You gunna be able to cope on your own tomorrow? I can get Mom to write…" He trails off. "I can.. get Missus Candy to write me a sick note and forge Mom's signature?"
"Thank you, but unless there's some sort of major crime wave I should be able to manage. And you can't slack off on your schooling just because Diana isn't here to watch you.
"
"No, I'd have, y'know, caught up…"
We hear the skittering of claws against the smooth floor surface before Wolf careens into view. She dashes up to Kon first, sniffing at his legs with her tail frantically wagging before
rearing up on her hind legs to try and lick his face. She's nearly fully grown now, but since she's only a little heavier than a normal Wolf despite her strength Kon's more than capable of supporting her weight. He smiles, trying to avoid her tongue while he rubs the sides of her face with both hands. "Yeah, I've missed you too, girl."
She gives him another five seconds of licking and nuzzling before leaning over towards me, her paws still supported by Kon's shoulders. I go to rub the top of her head only for her to turn her muzzle in order to sniff and lick my hand.
"Yes, I've missed you as well, you horrible, smelly, ambulatory rug you.
"
She makes a sort of exhale-snort noise, then returns her attention to Kon.
"And I'm sure Teekl will be dashing around the corner to see me any moment now.
" I nod.
"Any moment.
"
"rWuff." Wolf drops down, gives me a quick sniff and then circles around us in what looks like an attempt to herd us towards the kitchen.
Kon smiles down at her. "Okay, we're going."
"Any moment.
"
She pushes between us, trotting about half way back to the kitchen entrance before stopping and looking back to make sure that we're still coming. Another good reason for Kon not to spend all his time in Metropolis with me: they usually do obedience training on Mondays, which is a bit more critical for an animal that will probably be used in combat. I know
I want to be sure that she knows what she's doing before we take her out into the field. Normal police dog training is about thirteen weeks in duration, but that's an intensive course and there flat out
isn't a course for super animals.
"Welcome back, Conner!" M'gann -still haven't quite got used to her in white mode- wafts through the air to greet her boyfriend with a kiss. Kon wraps his arms around her back and leans into her.
…
Okay, they could be there for a while. I continue on into the living room. Zatanna smiles up at me from the settee, her eyes dragging themselves back from Kon and M'gann… Ah. "How was Metropolis?"
"Bright and shiny.
" I drop down next to her.
"We had to deal with some idiot whose evil plan was to lure Superman in and shoot him with a bowel disruptor.
"
Her face is a picture. "A.. bowel..? Disruptor?"
I nod.
"That was it. No ransom, no theft, just: tiny bit of Kryptonite then
right in the gut.
"
"
Why would-?"
"Supervillain.
" She nods in understanding.
"Now, when a
British person tries to do a PG version of the Joker, they do it with
class. With things that are actually
funny, not puerile attempts at scatological humour. I should have dropped the git on his face
twice.
" I shake my head and lean back.
"How was school?
"
"I, um… Yoooou.. remember the cake."
"I remember the cake. The internet remembers the cake. Two hundred years from now, alien civilisations that have never met a Human before will address me as 'The Cake Man'.
"
"I had to write a report on it."
"That's a bit unfair, isn't it? You were actually there.
"
"It's more about the sort of sociological implications of really powerful superhumans. How they can just completely ignore all the rules of society-"
"I settled those lawsuits.
" I
did.
"-and do whatever they want."
"Was I
really the best example of that?
"
"The best example that wasn't actually criminal. We live in a world where someone can merge with a giant snake and make a giant cake in the air."
"But what are you supposed to contrast it to? I mean… Weird stuff like that has been happening since at least the Second World War, right? You'd have to try living on my old homeworld for a while to get a baseline comparison.
"
Kon and M'gann manage to pry themselves apart and take their seats on the opposite settee, Wolf circling around for a moment before taking up station at her father's feet. Kon turns slightly to look at M'gann as she snuggles against his shoulder. "How was Acapulco?"
She shrinks in on herself slightly. "
Horrible. Tula and I spent all morning chasing down drug dealers. Then there was a gang shoot out, and we had to go and help out with
that instead of doing any follow up on their suppliers."
Kon nods. "We had pretty much the same thing in Caracas. Until Canis appeared, anyway."
"Statistically, very little crime actually involves supervillains. I don't know, maybe it would be better if we just picked one city and worked at it until it was more or less functional, rather than doing metaphorical fire fighting in several places. Kaldur, Tula, Garth and I have the time…
" I hear the door on the far side of the kitchen open and turn my head to see the other four residents -and my Cat- enter the room.
"And Roy might as well. Kaldur, what do you think about-?
"
He looks straight at me, his face deadly serious. "Turn on the news."
"Ah, okay? Ring, BBC News Twenty Four.
"
"…story tonight, after a lull in fighting while emergency food aid was provided to Cairo, hopes of a negotiated settlement appear to have been dashed by a sudden and devastating attack on the rebel stronghold of Shiruta." I stare at the screen in shock as I see fires and explosions across the city I was in only a few days ago. The people I... "The rebel leader Teth Adom was attending a peace conference in-."
"Ring, zeta tube.
"
"Compliance."
