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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Twelve)

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suicidejunkie said:
So, are you also claiming that G-nomes shouldn't list Earth as their homeworld?
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They aren't related to any species there and the genetic material used to create them didn't come from there.

The First was created on the Psion Motherworld and his parents came from Okaara and Erman.
Sebazu said:
How the hell could he have possibly narrated the whole story like that?
It pretty much impossible to actually tell that story in any meaningful way with limited vocabulary.
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I can write the whole episode out in broken English if you want..?
 
Alert: HOLD UP
  • Staff Post
    • GardenerBriareus said:
    So the fuck what? Just because I haven't met any other Americans doesn't mean I don't know that Ted Bundy is a piece of shit when given a record of his crimes. Those other factions of Spider Guilders & Gordanians have no bearing at all on this; what matters is that Paul massacred one group and spared another for each doing the same exact bloody thing.


    Oh, this is some bullshit. They had a homeworld. It was called the Citadel. Paul smashed it into radioactive slag. Do you also define what is and is not a person's home by how it was built? Or do you determine it based on what place they, as a society and as a people, come from and return to?
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    hold up You're breaking out red text and swearing for an argument about an OC in a fanfic. Calm down.
     
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    • In terms of the translator thing, one thing I've noticed in various chapters is Zoat experimenting with a style or gimmick for a section and seeing how it works (I need to reinstall my addon for godspeech detection). Sometimes it does, sometimes not, but it's rare enough and interesting attempts that I don't think the experimentation should be nixxed.

    I'd find the translation annoying in a FULL chapter, but I don't find it unreadable, and it's an interesting idea to play with. With it being present just in the interstitial scenes it's been in seems fine to me.
     
    Huttj said:
    In terms of the translator thing, one thing I've noticed in various chapters is Zoat experimenting with a style or gimmick for a section and seeing how it works (I need to reinstall my addon for godspeech detection). Sometimes it does, sometimes not, but it's rare enough and interesting attempts that I don't think the experimentation should be nixxed.

    I'd find the translation annoying in a FULL chapter, but I don't find it unreadable, and it's an interesting idea to play with. With it being present just in the interstitial scenes it's been in seems fine to me.
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    While I agree that this is certainly what Zoat is doing here and has done repeatedly in the past of this story, I can't think of a single time it's been anything other than a monumental pain in the ass to bear through as a reader and left me feeling angry with him as a writer.
    And yes that includes all of that nonsense with Queen of Fables and as you may have guessed from my subtitle all of the god-damned god-speech.

    I hope it really does all help Zoat grow as a writer, but that doesn't make it any less annoying to me as a reader, or for that matter for all of the "experimenting with the medium" to come off as a bunch of pretentious assholery.
     
    zhuull said:
    While I agree that this is certainly what Zoat is doing here and has done repeatedly in the past of this story, I can't think of a single time it's been anything other than a monumental pain in the ass to bear through as a reader and left me feeling angry with him as a writer.
    And yes that includes all of that nonsense with Queen of Fables and as you may have guessed from my subtitle all of the god-damned god-speech.

    I hope it really does all help Zoat grow as a writer, but that doesn't make it any less annoying to me as a reader, or for that matter for all of the "experimenting with the medium" to come off as a bunch of pretentious assholery.
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    The queen of fables was an excellent arc and godspeech is fine. You might as well complain about the Paragon/renegade interrupts or the colored text at the start of an update that tells you which OL it's from the pov of.
     
    This experiment is just plain dumb, honestly.

    I'm having a hard time justifying why Natu would just sit there and let this obviously insane warmonger (even if justified) that she's never met tell him the story.

    Maybe, I don't know, Zoat could share her emotional state with the audience so that we can understand that she's not afraid, or that she's not angry. Etc. It would go a long way explaining this.... idiocy, quite frankly.
     
    Mr Zoat said:
    I can write the whole episode out in broken English if you want..?
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    People here finding Thog speech annoying, you having to write the whole previous episode in Thog speech...
    Yeah, let's do this. I have a shot glass and bottle of Jack Daniel's available.
    Screw it, what's a little mutually assured destruction between friends?
    ...
    Imma Calling Yerr Bluff Tharr, Zoattie Boy!
    Do Your Worst!
     
    Insane warmonger? The sheer double-standards being employed here are absurd. You don't treat the evil clone empire of enslavement and tyranny with kid gloves.
     
    Sebazu said:
    How the hell could he have possibly narrated the whole story like that?
    It pretty much impossible to actually tell that story in any meaningful way with limited vocabulary.
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    I have a few friends who are Japanese. Their English isn't the greatest, and my Japanese is even worse, but when I went and visited them we basically worked out a broken English style of talking that served just fine for two weeks. Hell, we could talk for hours

    pedanterrific said:
    Why is she still sitting in a cafe talking with what is either a crazy person or a genocidal war leader (but almost certainly a crazy person, since this story is totally unbelievable and he can't offer any proof)? She can't still be interested in the job being offered, can she?

    Considering that he just told her the last people he hired for a job ended up duped into destroying their own civilization, and then he started asking semi-approving rhetorical questions about Sinestro.
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    Why? Because it's a good/interesting story he's telling. She wants to hear the end. Sending him away now means that she'll never know what happened. That sort of thing can bother people for years, especially if she's a naturally curious person.

    I could be wrong. So on the flip side, she's worried that he might be completely nuts, but obviously NOT a person to trifle with, and doesn't want to set him off.

    So with all the negative posts I'll just add my two cents. I'm enjoying all this very much, the broken English thing doesn't bother me (again, I did it for two weeks, and routinely have to adjust my vocabulary when talking to my Armenian Judo coach) and I like it that Paul really took it to the Citadel. Keep up the good work Zoat.
     
    shepsquared said:
    The queen of fables was an excellent arc and godspeech is fine. You might as well complain about the Paragon/renegade interrupts or the colored text at the start of an update that tells you which OL it's from the pov of.
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    One, I read this on my phone so no good speech specifically and invisitext in a more general sense are not fine.
    Namely they were not fine for much the same reason that the Queen of Fables flopped for me, they detract from the story's readability.
    In a quite literally sense for both of them. I have to go out of my way to get those extra bits of story I any scene with a new god, and during the whole play thing it took me a while to even realize what was happening because I tend to skip non story posts unless something happens to randomly catch my attention.

    In writing a story, your main goal and purpose is to convey ideas to your readers. Anything you deliberately do to make it harder for your readers to understand what you are trying to convey is counterproductive at best , and as I said is usually just down to pretentiousness.

    What Zoat is doing with these gimmicks is [no better than those people on fanfiction.net who sprinkle random Japanese throughout their anime stories.

    The only difference is that Zoat is telling a story I feel is good enough to struggle through his moods to actually enjoy.
     
    SaltyWaffles said:
    Insane warmonger? The sheer double-standards being employed here are absurd. You don't treat the evil clone empire of enslavement and tyranny with kid gloves.
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    From her perspective? Absolutely. He's a person who came up to her and started a conversation. Then he casually tells a story (in broken language which would be subconsciously unsettling with a stranger) about how he was responsible for what is essentially the death of an entire species. He then brings up their most feared and hated dictator (whose name is apparently not casually spoken aloud without expecting official reprimand) and speaks somewhat favourably of his actions. At this point she's basically an ordinary person and she gets exposed to this. I'd expect running for the hills, calling the authorities or being too scared of accidentally agitating the warlord to do anything.

    Because that's what he'll look like now, by the way. A warlord. You commit genocide you get that label, regardless of how bad those people were (which, she has no evidence for beyond the word of the man who killed them).
     
    Fandom Flux said:
    From her perspective? Absolutely. He's a person who came up to her and started a conversation. Then he casually tells a story (in broken language which would be subconsciously unsettling with a stranger) about how he was responsible for what is essentially the death of an entire species. He then brings up their most feared and hated dictator (whose name is apparently not casually spoken aloud without expecting official reprimand) and speaks somewhat favourably of his actions. At this point she's basically an ordinary person and she gets exposed to this. I'd expect running for the hills, calling the authorities or being too scared of accidentally agitating the warlord to do anything.

    Because that's what he'll look like now, by the way. A warlord. You commit genocide you get that label, regardless of how bad those people were (which, she has no evidence for beyond the word of the man who killed them).
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    Hmmaster said:
    Generally speaking, if someone walks up to you calmly and says that they murdered a family that owned slaves, what would you do? I think it'd be safe to air on the side of caution.
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    Sucks that he's tied her up and isn't letting her leave since she intrinistically doesn't want to hear this

    Oh wait hang on, she's free to go whenever she wants. He isn't stopping her and they're in a public place. Weird how she's sitting around listening to this if she thinks he's a crazy person.

    zhuull said:
    One, I read this on my phone so no good speech specifically and invisitext in a more general sense are not fine.
    Namely they were not fine for much the same reason that the Queen of Fables flopped for me, they detract from the story's readability.
    In a quite literally sense for both of them. I have to go out of my way to get those extra bits of story I any scene with a new god, and during the whole play thing it took me a while to even realize what was happening because I tend to skip non story posts unless something happens to randomly catch my attention.

    In writing a story, your main goal and purpose is to convey ideas to your readers. Anything you deliberately do to make it harder for your readers to understand what you are trying to convey is counterproductive at best , and as I said is usually just down to pretentiousness.

    What Zoat is doing with these gimmicks is [no better than those people on fanfiction.net who sprinkle random Japanese throughout their anime stories.

    The only difference is that Zoat is telling a story I feel is good enough to struggle through his moods to actually enjoy.
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    If you can't read invisitext on your mobile you either aren't trying hard enough or you're lazy. It's an established thing on SB and SV and you're not going to convince anyone not to use it, especially not Zoat after he's had several chapters rely on it.
    The Queen of Fables was just quote boxes, which really shouldn't be an obstaclee to anyone.

    The other experimental stuff was coloured text (success to the point where the early copycat stories were basically rainbows), Paragon/Renegade (success to the point where people prefer Renegade now), Paragon/Renegade interrupts (success except for that time the hosting went down), the Ambush Bug episode (a good set of chapters, though recruiting Nightmare Moon, Tai Lung and Azula int he future was a bit self indulgent) the Renegade bit of Ambush Bug (pretty good but Sunset Shimmer and Amane feel kinda pointless in the Renegade plot at this point compared to manchester and Lyn), the full Renegade episodes (resounding success), god speech and probably something else I'm forgetting.

    Seriously, all you're doing is complaining.
     
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