Turn 4: Arc 1-1 Family Connections
Ling Qi restrained the urge to sigh as she strolled down the street that lead to her Mother's… no, their family's temporary home. She was still unused to the way visiting the mortal town at the base of the mountain felt now. It did not help that the uncomfortable things about it were only growing more so. The part of the town she walked through now was near the wealthy center of the town. The governor's manor and the main temple were only a turn or two away, she had just passed the town's office of the ministry of law. The homes here were owned by wealthy business owners, noble visitors, Sect Members and the town's highest officials.
A bit over a year ago, she would have received a beating just for walking a street like this, on the assumption that of course she was there with ill intentions. Now patrolmen and house guards alike straightened up at her passage, straining to appear at the peak of attention and dutifulness. People in the streets discreetly made way for her, or offered murmured greetings of respect. Even now it still felt surreal.
Her discomfort was only made worse by how… fragile everything around her felt. She spent almost all of her time with her peers in cultivation, so these trips into town always felt almost disorienting. She had come to rely on the senses afforded by her cultivation, to see the people around her so lifeless and dark, with barely a spark of active qi and aura to differentiate them stones and pots, it felt like she had walked into a world where all the color and sound had drained away.
"It's not like they're not really there though," Sixiang said quietly, avoiding speaking aloud. "If you bother to look closer, you can still see the things that make them people. They're just not as loud as you cultivators."
Ling Qi accepted the light chiding. Sixiang was right of course. If she actually paid attention she could still easily read the little stories told by mortal auras. For all of their low volume, they were actually much clearer than her peers, whose intentions and thoughts were much more well cloaked, presenting only broad themes to casual inspection. There was still an issue however…
"Are you sure I can't walk next to you Big Sister?" Hanyi complained.
She could come out when they reached the house, Ling Qi thought calmly. Being here in public amongst mortals was an exercise in self restraint, of shutting down the passive effects of one's qi as much as possible. It felt like shoving herself into a dress that was three sizes too small. She didn't understand how Elders, who had so very much more to repress could manage it. She wasn't even doing it perfectly. She saw the minute twitches in the postures of passerby as they heard the faint sound of music, and the faint shivers of those who passed nearby. She could probably suppress the feeling entirely if she chose to exercise her stealth skills, but then she would have to deal with people literally not noticing her physical presence, and avoiding the security formations meant to look out for that kind of thing.
Ling Qi let out an internal sigh of relief as the gates of the house came into view. She swept past the sect guard at the gate without a word, a brief press of her hand momentarily disabling the lock on door. She could feel many unfamiliar presences inside, moving about. Usually she visited in the evening, after the household had mostly been dismissed or gone to sleep. This time though, as she stepped inside, she found herself briefly coming face to face with a young mortal woman a few years her elder in drab but clean and well kempt clothing. Ling Qi saw almost in slow motion as the young woman's eyes widened in first surprise, then alarm. She saw the way that the mortals grip on the bamboo broom in her hands grew tight enough to whiten her knuckles, and the way her eyes darted too and fro, noting with alarm the parts of the path which were still unswept.
Of course that all happened in a split second, by the time the gate had clicked shut behind her, the young woman had stepped out of her path and bowed low, murmuring a quite "Lady Ling." Ling Qi was just as glad that the young woman had not gone for a full kowtow. She had seen the consideration pass through her body language.
It still felt bizarre. "You may raise your head," it would probably be less alarming if she just kept to a polite distance. She glanced toward the house, pinpointing the presences of her Mother and Sister as she stepped past the young woman, eager to put the awkwardness behind her.
She ignored the sigh of relief she heard from behind her as she stepped up to the door. The scene repeated itself with another housekeeper, busy with polishing floors in a side hall, but the awkwardness vanished from Ling Qi's thoughts a moment later. She felt her little sister's qi move first, but there was only a difference of moments before the little girl ran around the corner, almost taking a spill on the polished floors. Almost, because Ling Qi had moved without thinking, flickering down the length of the hall to catch her younger sister in her arms before Biyu could faceplant on the floor. "Hey, careful now," she said chidingly, scooping the girl up in her arms as she stood. "You shouldn't run in the house."
Biyu squirmed in her grasp until she could look up at Ling Qi with a bright smile. "Wanted to see Sis-y."
"Oh, how did you know I was coming?" Ling Qi asked absently, feeling another presence coming from around the corner Biyu had come from.
"Heard the song!" her little sister declared enthusiastically.
"Sheesh, she's all little and squishy, are you sure that's she's your sister, Big Sister?" Hanyi asked.
She is, and you need to be nice to her, Ling Qi thought. Out loud she grinned down at her little sister. "That's no excuse, walk next time."
As Biyu agreed in that reluctant way children had, the presence approaching arrived. A woman her mother's age, but a fair bit more stout in build, came puffing around the corner. "Ling Biyu what have your mother and I said about…"
Ling Qi felt the awkwardness return as the woman met Ling Qi's eyes, and her lined face almost went slack. "Lady Ling, my deepest apologies. Young Biyu slipped my grasp for but a moment and…"
Ling Qi held back a grimace as the older woman bowed deeply once and then again as she apologized. "There is nothing to apologize for," she said doing her best to sound calm and soothing. "You can take a break though. I will take care of Biyu for the moment."
She saw the relief in the woman's expression as she straightened up, but also noticed the hesitation in her body language. It occurred to her that she was probably disrupting her Mother's scheduling and orders. She would have to talk about that with her later. For now though, it was best to keep rolling with it. She met the woman's gaze patiently, and the older woman bowed again and backed away, leaving her to keep seeking her mother.
"Nanny was weird," Biyu said, a frown on her little face.
"I'm sure it was nothing," Ling Qi replied absently as she began to mount the stairs.
"You scared her out of her skin," Sixiang said drolly.
Probably, Ling Qi admitted in her head. There was little she could do about that though. "What does Nanny do Biyu?"
"She plays with Biyu when Momma is busy," her little sister replied authoritatively.
She had figured. "Is Mother busy a lot?" Ling Qi asked, wondering whether she had given her Mother too much work.
"Nuh uh," the little girl replied, shaking her head.
"Trust the lady a bit," Sixiang said bluntly.
Ling Qi dipped her head. She really did need to work on that… it was part of why she was here.
They reached the second floor then, and Ling Qi stepped out into the hall. Ling Qingge was in her room at the moment. Letting out a breath, Ling Qi loosened her hold on her qi by just a fraction as she approached the door. Biyu laughed and clapped in her arms, and a moment later, her mother's door opened.
"It looks like your making some progress," she said brightly, smiling as her Mother peered out of the room. The light of her qi was still a wan, near transparent thing, but it had a bit more life than other mortals.
"...Ling Qi," her mother greeted with a sigh, opening the door further. "My apologies. I was not expecting you today."
"It's fine, I didn't send ahead," Ling Qi replied, easily stepping past her mother. The room was much like her own on the mountain, a combination of bedroom and study, though in soft warm colors and wood rather than stark grey stone. "Might I ask what you have been up to?"
Closing the door behind her, Ling Qingge turned to face her. Ling Qi took a moment to study her Mother, the lines on her face were still there, but she had changed, at least a hair. There was some fractional lightening of the burden she always seemed to carry, a touch less meekness in her stance. Having control of something in her life seemed to be agreeing with her.
"I have been studying trends in presentation and dining for the nobility. I know it is unlikely, but I should like the household to be acceptable if you ever entertain guests," Ling Qingge said quietly.
Ling Qi hadn't even really considered that as an option, even though she really should have. Well, maybe she could invite Xiulan as a test sometime? She bent down letting Biyu loose, only for the little girl to clamber up onto their Mother's bed. She shot the older woman an apologetic look. "Well, I've been focused on other things, but it looks like your keeping things in good order."
'Thank you," her mother replied with a slight smile. "I admit, things have been somewhat hectic recently, with the terrible storms up in the Mountain. The Sect kept us all safe of course, but it was very unnerving."
"The wind was really scary," Biyu announced solemnly as this time Ling Qingge scooped her up seating the younger girl on her lap as she sat down next to a small table which still held an open book.
Ling Qi laughed sheepishly, glancing away. "Yeah I guess that would have been pretty rough huh?"
Ling Qingge narrowed her eyes, and just for a second, Ling Qi felt like she was seeing the woman she had known when she was still Biyu's size. "Ling Qi… were you involved with the matter?"
Ling Qi considered deflecting, but that wasn't what she was here for. "...More like I was the cause," she admitted. "That's part of why I came here today… I owe you an apology."
Her mother looked at her in confusion, but quickly shook her head. "Ling Qi you do not owe me any such thing. You…"
"No," Ling Qi said forcefully. "I… Mother, I did something that could have gotten me badly hurt or killed. I did it on purpose, knowing what I was getting into. I should have at least told you first. I do owe you that much."
Her Mother fell silent, and her little sister looked back and forth between them, both worried and not quite comprehending.
"Why?" Her Mother asked after a moment of silence.
Ling Qi looked down. "I was trying to shield you from worry, but… I guess while I was up there, it occured to me how disrespectful that was. Even if you can't always do anything, you deserve to know what is going on."
She had invited her Mother back into her life, she didn't just want to treat her like an obligation. She had to do more to include her family in her life, because things ended, and once they did it was too late for regrets.
--TBC
A bit over a year ago, she would have received a beating just for walking a street like this, on the assumption that of course she was there with ill intentions. Now patrolmen and house guards alike straightened up at her passage, straining to appear at the peak of attention and dutifulness. People in the streets discreetly made way for her, or offered murmured greetings of respect. Even now it still felt surreal.
Her discomfort was only made worse by how… fragile everything around her felt. She spent almost all of her time with her peers in cultivation, so these trips into town always felt almost disorienting. She had come to rely on the senses afforded by her cultivation, to see the people around her so lifeless and dark, with barely a spark of active qi and aura to differentiate them stones and pots, it felt like she had walked into a world where all the color and sound had drained away.
"It's not like they're not really there though," Sixiang said quietly, avoiding speaking aloud. "If you bother to look closer, you can still see the things that make them people. They're just not as loud as you cultivators."
Ling Qi accepted the light chiding. Sixiang was right of course. If she actually paid attention she could still easily read the little stories told by mortal auras. For all of their low volume, they were actually much clearer than her peers, whose intentions and thoughts were much more well cloaked, presenting only broad themes to casual inspection. There was still an issue however…
"Are you sure I can't walk next to you Big Sister?" Hanyi complained.
She could come out when they reached the house, Ling Qi thought calmly. Being here in public amongst mortals was an exercise in self restraint, of shutting down the passive effects of one's qi as much as possible. It felt like shoving herself into a dress that was three sizes too small. She didn't understand how Elders, who had so very much more to repress could manage it. She wasn't even doing it perfectly. She saw the minute twitches in the postures of passerby as they heard the faint sound of music, and the faint shivers of those who passed nearby. She could probably suppress the feeling entirely if she chose to exercise her stealth skills, but then she would have to deal with people literally not noticing her physical presence, and avoiding the security formations meant to look out for that kind of thing.
Ling Qi let out an internal sigh of relief as the gates of the house came into view. She swept past the sect guard at the gate without a word, a brief press of her hand momentarily disabling the lock on door. She could feel many unfamiliar presences inside, moving about. Usually she visited in the evening, after the household had mostly been dismissed or gone to sleep. This time though, as she stepped inside, she found herself briefly coming face to face with a young mortal woman a few years her elder in drab but clean and well kempt clothing. Ling Qi saw almost in slow motion as the young woman's eyes widened in first surprise, then alarm. She saw the way that the mortals grip on the bamboo broom in her hands grew tight enough to whiten her knuckles, and the way her eyes darted too and fro, noting with alarm the parts of the path which were still unswept.
Of course that all happened in a split second, by the time the gate had clicked shut behind her, the young woman had stepped out of her path and bowed low, murmuring a quite "Lady Ling." Ling Qi was just as glad that the young woman had not gone for a full kowtow. She had seen the consideration pass through her body language.
It still felt bizarre. "You may raise your head," it would probably be less alarming if she just kept to a polite distance. She glanced toward the house, pinpointing the presences of her Mother and Sister as she stepped past the young woman, eager to put the awkwardness behind her.
She ignored the sigh of relief she heard from behind her as she stepped up to the door. The scene repeated itself with another housekeeper, busy with polishing floors in a side hall, but the awkwardness vanished from Ling Qi's thoughts a moment later. She felt her little sister's qi move first, but there was only a difference of moments before the little girl ran around the corner, almost taking a spill on the polished floors. Almost, because Ling Qi had moved without thinking, flickering down the length of the hall to catch her younger sister in her arms before Biyu could faceplant on the floor. "Hey, careful now," she said chidingly, scooping the girl up in her arms as she stood. "You shouldn't run in the house."
Biyu squirmed in her grasp until she could look up at Ling Qi with a bright smile. "Wanted to see Sis-y."
"Oh, how did you know I was coming?" Ling Qi asked absently, feeling another presence coming from around the corner Biyu had come from.
"Heard the song!" her little sister declared enthusiastically.
"Sheesh, she's all little and squishy, are you sure that's she's your sister, Big Sister?" Hanyi asked.
She is, and you need to be nice to her, Ling Qi thought. Out loud she grinned down at her little sister. "That's no excuse, walk next time."
As Biyu agreed in that reluctant way children had, the presence approaching arrived. A woman her mother's age, but a fair bit more stout in build, came puffing around the corner. "Ling Biyu what have your mother and I said about…"
Ling Qi felt the awkwardness return as the woman met Ling Qi's eyes, and her lined face almost went slack. "Lady Ling, my deepest apologies. Young Biyu slipped my grasp for but a moment and…"
Ling Qi held back a grimace as the older woman bowed deeply once and then again as she apologized. "There is nothing to apologize for," she said doing her best to sound calm and soothing. "You can take a break though. I will take care of Biyu for the moment."
She saw the relief in the woman's expression as she straightened up, but also noticed the hesitation in her body language. It occurred to her that she was probably disrupting her Mother's scheduling and orders. She would have to talk about that with her later. For now though, it was best to keep rolling with it. She met the woman's gaze patiently, and the older woman bowed again and backed away, leaving her to keep seeking her mother.
"Nanny was weird," Biyu said, a frown on her little face.
"I'm sure it was nothing," Ling Qi replied absently as she began to mount the stairs.
"You scared her out of her skin," Sixiang said drolly.
Probably, Ling Qi admitted in her head. There was little she could do about that though. "What does Nanny do Biyu?"
"She plays with Biyu when Momma is busy," her little sister replied authoritatively.
She had figured. "Is Mother busy a lot?" Ling Qi asked, wondering whether she had given her Mother too much work.
"Nuh uh," the little girl replied, shaking her head.
"Trust the lady a bit," Sixiang said bluntly.
Ling Qi dipped her head. She really did need to work on that… it was part of why she was here.
They reached the second floor then, and Ling Qi stepped out into the hall. Ling Qingge was in her room at the moment. Letting out a breath, Ling Qi loosened her hold on her qi by just a fraction as she approached the door. Biyu laughed and clapped in her arms, and a moment later, her mother's door opened.
"It looks like your making some progress," she said brightly, smiling as her Mother peered out of the room. The light of her qi was still a wan, near transparent thing, but it had a bit more life than other mortals.
"...Ling Qi," her mother greeted with a sigh, opening the door further. "My apologies. I was not expecting you today."
"It's fine, I didn't send ahead," Ling Qi replied, easily stepping past her mother. The room was much like her own on the mountain, a combination of bedroom and study, though in soft warm colors and wood rather than stark grey stone. "Might I ask what you have been up to?"
Closing the door behind her, Ling Qingge turned to face her. Ling Qi took a moment to study her Mother, the lines on her face were still there, but she had changed, at least a hair. There was some fractional lightening of the burden she always seemed to carry, a touch less meekness in her stance. Having control of something in her life seemed to be agreeing with her.
"I have been studying trends in presentation and dining for the nobility. I know it is unlikely, but I should like the household to be acceptable if you ever entertain guests," Ling Qingge said quietly.
Ling Qi hadn't even really considered that as an option, even though she really should have. Well, maybe she could invite Xiulan as a test sometime? She bent down letting Biyu loose, only for the little girl to clamber up onto their Mother's bed. She shot the older woman an apologetic look. "Well, I've been focused on other things, but it looks like your keeping things in good order."
'Thank you," her mother replied with a slight smile. "I admit, things have been somewhat hectic recently, with the terrible storms up in the Mountain. The Sect kept us all safe of course, but it was very unnerving."
"The wind was really scary," Biyu announced solemnly as this time Ling Qingge scooped her up seating the younger girl on her lap as she sat down next to a small table which still held an open book.
Ling Qi laughed sheepishly, glancing away. "Yeah I guess that would have been pretty rough huh?"
Ling Qingge narrowed her eyes, and just for a second, Ling Qi felt like she was seeing the woman she had known when she was still Biyu's size. "Ling Qi… were you involved with the matter?"
Ling Qi considered deflecting, but that wasn't what she was here for. "...More like I was the cause," she admitted. "That's part of why I came here today… I owe you an apology."
Her mother looked at her in confusion, but quickly shook her head. "Ling Qi you do not owe me any such thing. You…"
"No," Ling Qi said forcefully. "I… Mother, I did something that could have gotten me badly hurt or killed. I did it on purpose, knowing what I was getting into. I should have at least told you first. I do owe you that much."
Her Mother fell silent, and her little sister looked back and forth between them, both worried and not quite comprehending.
"Why?" Her Mother asked after a moment of silence.
Ling Qi looked down. "I was trying to shield you from worry, but… I guess while I was up there, it occured to me how disrespectful that was. Even if you can't always do anything, you deserve to know what is going on."
She had invited her Mother back into her life, she didn't just want to treat her like an obligation. She had to do more to include her family in her life, because things ended, and once they did it was too late for regrets.
--TBC
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