I've been thinking about why this conversation with Kokoro happened now when nothing of the sort happened in canon, and I had a terrible idea. Cross's strategy to protect Usopp and Robin backfired. His insistence that the entire crew undergo intensive training accelerated the strain on the Merry. Any confidence Usopp has built from the training will crumble when he realizes this.
This Bites! (One Piece SI)
- Thread starter Xomniac
- Start date
Not according to canon... Luffy floated just fine on water when he had gotten into his balloon defense form... unless I am misremembering it?
Appletank
Acquire Cheese
Yeah, I remember Luffy bouncing off water in balloon form, though that may be unique to Luffy because he actively lowered his body density with air. It would be like if you tied a balloon to Chopper.
I guess if all else fails you can nail not!Merry wood on the outside.
Then there is effectively no difference between luffy and his balloon form and how a ship would act in the water. It relys on the same principles in effect.
Appletank
Acquire Cheese
Wait, does that mean if you get enough Devil Fruit users, tie them together in the shape of a bowl (and somehow make it water tight) they'll float?
- Location
- Orlando, FL
Seems the Seventh movie and a filler, happened during the few days. wish we knew what happened on mecha island?
- Location
- The Middle of the Howling Wilderness
Only one way to find out!
Inflated balloons float, which presumably overrode the "devil fruit users sink" property imparted by the devil fruit. Unless Merry gets a DF that allows for a similar override, I doubt it would work. DFs aren't bound to real life physics, after all.
Except that it was already determined that air wasn't a deciding factor in flotation. All that is left then is water displacement.
Not air, the idea that inflated balloons float. Magical logic, not physics, same as how Luffy was immune to Enel's lightning.
Edit:
As for my guess as to what might happen with Merry, I wonder if Cross is familiar with Kantai Collection.
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Chapter 36 - Water 7 Pt 1
Xomniac
Clockwork Purveyor of Prose and Originality
Chapter 36
It had been a couple of days since we set off from the last island, and thoughts of our defeat at Aokiji's hands were still on everyone's minds. Let it not be said, however, that the Strawhats were a crew known to mope or brood. Rather than letting things stew, everyone had gotten over it out of necessity to be strong for Robin in face of the trauma Aokiji had unearthed, and then pressed on by submerging themselves in training with my advice. With the extra knowledge and clear goals in mind for how to reach the next level of strength, it wasn't hard for everyone to move past the past and focus on both the present and future.
'Of course,' I thought murderously, curling my torso as I hung from the Merry's mast by my boots, with a well-sized weight hanging from my armored wrists and absolutely murdering my shoulders. 'The issue here is that the greater the gain you desire, the more and more pain that is required.'
Unfortunately (for me at any rate), due to the flesh of my limbs still being in the process of re-solidifying into a form I wasn't guaranteed to ruin just by flexing my biceps, Zoro's focus on my training had been diverted to my core muscles. And by his reasoning, if I couldn't strain all of my muscles, I'd have to compensate with the ones that I could strain, hence my current predicament. Only the fact that it was this hell that had kept me conscious against Eneru and Aokiji kept me from hurling every invective I could think up at the swordsman. And even then, it was a close thing.
So, instead, I turned my thoughts to more pressing matters. Namely, the fact that every second we sailed was a second closer to Water 7, and with the approach of the sinking island also approached a lot of trouble. Sure, I was almost completely positive that I had braced Usopp for the possibility of losing the Merry, but Robin…
I suppressed a grimace as I surreptitiously glanced at where she was relaxing in her folding chair and reading one of her books. I wanted to trust Robin, I really did, but unfortunately, we'd rounded a creek and travelled into a whole new territory of mistrust. Rather than having to worry about her betraying the crew, now I had to worry about her betraying herself for our sake! And somehow? Somehow, watching out for Robin making a self-destructive move was even more nerve-wracking than watching for her trying to betray us wholesale.
And the worst part was that if my mistrust turned out to be well-founded, Robin's skills all but guaranteed that we wouldn't find out until it was too late and she'd already attempted to martyr herself, at which point the only way out would be the hard way. I grimaced as images of a pit in the ocean and a fleet of stupidly massive ships flashed behind my eyes.
The very, very, very hard way.
In the end, there really wasn't much I could do except make sure Chopper and Sanji stuck to her like glue and warn everyone of two things: first, to not fight the Franky Family in case of the remote (hopefully very remote, at that) chance that they hadn't become fans of the SBS, and second, to steer clear of the four undercover agents, though that'd be kept amongst my confidants on account of how they were the only ones who I knew were capable of reliably maintaining poker faces.
Of course, right now, I had little choice but to postpone those particular conversations until after we met Kokoro. After all, aside from Robin's quiet reading and Luffy's casual relaxation on the Merry's figurehead, everyone onboard was training.
Usopp had finally managed to finish Nami's Perfect Clima-Tact, but she had only done a cursory confirmation of the staff's capabilities before she went to Donny to get used to the new shape. There didn't seem to be much change from what I had seen coming, on account of how the Eisen Dial and its mechanisms fit into an extra interchangeable bulb on the butt of the weapon. In any case, if the way she was going against Donny was any indication, it seemed like the new form was even better for bojutsu than a traditional staff.
Conis was taking full advantage of the extra storage space that the clothes she borrowed from my wardrobe provided. Bazookas were obviously her weapons of choice, but she had spared no effort fitting as much other firepower as she could handle on her body. Pistols, Dials, shotguns, burn blades, even a full-sized rifle slung across her back. And Mikey was right alongside her, quickly becoming proficient with a pair of pistols. The way he was spinning them around, quite expertly I might add, I was just waiting for him to ask Robin to borrow one of her cowboy hats to complete the look. And beside both of them was Lassoo, who was test-firing the new Blaze mechanism Conis had installed in his gut. It was still a bit testy and his pillar wasn't as big as what Conis was sporting, but the superheated blasts he was belting out were still quite impressive.
Vivi and Carue were taking turns sparring with Raphey, the Dugong's size and skill proving an even match against Vivi's reach and Carue's speed; the two were improving fast, though like a lot of the crew, being confined to the Merry was limiting how much they could get done. Still, they were leaps and bounds ahead of what they'd been when we left Alabasta. At a guess, I'd say that they were of a level of strength appropriate for the Mr. 3 or Mr. 4 team.
Sanji, spurred on by his rivalry with Zoro, had managed to work out the Tempest Kick technique, though he was having trouble preserving the 'blade's' stability for more than a foot or so, after which the air harmlessly dissolved. He wasn't even content enough to name it. Hence, he was on the edge of the Merry, teeth gritted in concentration as he fired shot after shot. It was slow going, but I could see that every second he worked on it, the fissures in the surface of the ocean grew deeper and longer.
Zoro, meanwhile, said that he had worked on his Asura technique enough to be confident using it in combat, and had diverted his energy to other pursuits instead. Namely, the Iron Body technique. Leo was drafted to help him practice, which seemed to consist of the amphibian slamming his fists into Zoro's torso over and over again. Naturally, Zoro was barely flinching at the impacts, and if the fact that Leo was starting to flex his aching flippers was any indication, he was fast figuring out the secrets of the technique. He'd probably have figured it out sooner if Leo were using the flats of his swords, but the dugong had begged off on account of how he was afraid that the endeavor would damage his blades. Still, as Boss put it, it wasn't as though the endeavor wasn't training Leo's strength as well. Or at least, that was his experience, considering how he had strengthened his own flippers over the years.
Speaking of Boss, he was the only one not suffering at all from reduced space, having decided to try out his new Thermal Dart (which honestly didn't look that different, apart from the hook of his weapon looking a bit sleeker) against the local marine life. Luffy in particular had been happy with Boss tossing skewered fish after scorched fish onto the deck, along with allowing the occasional pummeled and insensate adolescent Sea King to float to the surface. In all honesty, Boss was tough enough already, but if the Heat Dial improved him that much… well, the Monster Quartet may be a thing after all.
Chopper, thankfully enough, had buried himself in the storage room and was working on expanding his chemical arsenal, at the same time studying how he could potentially tune down his Monster Point into something less likely to make Thriller Bark look more inviting than wherever he was turned loose. Unfortunately and unsurprisingly, he wasn't having much luck on that front, which meant we would have to hope that his new arsenal was enough that we wouldn't be dealing with a 36-foot-tall stupidly tough and powerful mad scientist if worst came to worst.
And last but most surprisingly, Usopp was practicing the Shave technique as he moved back and forth across the ship, dodging everyone's training sessions as he did so. However, the training was clearly just a side benefit. The sniper was more concerned with attempting to locate the source of some kind of sound that he swore hadn't been present before. He had tried asking Soundbite, but the snail had blown him off in favor of remaining ensconced in his shell, so as to focus more than ever on thinking about Awakened Devil Fruits. After weighing several pros and cons, Usopp had left him alone. Sadly, while his speed was exhibiting a marked improvement, his feverish movements and muttering, which were only getting worse as his leg pain apparently intensified, were quickly eroding the patience of some of the combatants.
"Where is it, where is it, where is it…" he muttered as Carue and Raphey hastily changed direction to avoid skewering him. "Dammit! It keeps coming and going!"
I cocked an eyebrow as I watched the show for a second longer before deciding to speak up, for his sake if nothing else. "Hey, Usopp! Just a suggestion, but I recommend that you work on your situational awareness next."
"Huh?" The sniper came to a dead stop as he looked up at me. "How come?"
I let my expression fall flat. "Because you're currently standing on Mikey's head."
"Eh?" Usopp glanced down in surprise. "Huh. So I am."
Several people paused in their training long enough to facepalm.
"Dude…" Mikey growled as he started to finger the new flintlocks at his side. "I respect you, but if you don't get off me soon, I'm gonna throw you off! And I mean the Merry!"
Usopp hastily complied, scrambling off of Mikey and zipping to the other end of the ship.
"But seriously, Usopp, what are you muttering about?" Sanji asked in irritation, turning away from the ocean and looking at him.
"Wha—? Oh, right, I only told Cross." Usopp promptly slapped a hand to his forehead. "See, I can hear some kind of a weird sound coming from somewhere on the ship. I don't know what it is, but it's distracting me from finishing my upgrades!"
"And Soundbite isn't helping you with that because?" Nami asked.
"Because he's focusing on training even more than Zoro is," I grit out as I focused on curling myself upwards. It made my gut hurt like hell, but it sure beat letting the blood flow to my head!
"Why not just put in earplugs or something?" Conis asked curiously.
"I tried that, but it's not going away! Just listen!"
Several sighs rang out around the deck, but ultimately, everyone paused their training and listened. For a second there was nothing. Then the sound came, clear as a bell: wood scraping against wood, like two planks rubbing together. It was… very irritating.
"Alright, now that you draw attention to it…" I trailed off with a grimace.
"Great, now it's going to be stuck in my head all day!" Nami griped as she dug a finger through her ear.
"See? So, maybe I could get some help finding—" Usopp began.
"Hey, guys, look! A frog doing the front crawl!"
All attention was promptly diverted from Usopp to Luffy and then to where Luffy was staring and pointing. And sure enough, there was a tan and white frog, heavily scarred with black hair in a sumo hairstyle, performing the front crawl in the water not far from us. There was no mistaking it: we'd just caught sight of Yokozuna.
And there was no chance in hell that I was going to pass up this glorious of an opportunity.
"Huh, that is a frog doing the front crawl," I noted casually.
"I'm actually impressed that a frog can do the front crawl," Donny commented with a slight tilt to his head.
"Anyone else curious about where the frog doing the front crawl is going?" Vivi asked.
"I'm actually more curious about why the frog is doing the front crawl," Lassoo shrugged.
"Maybe the frog is—!"
"Okay, this gag's lived long enough," Su deadpanned.
"What gag, COTTONTAIL?" Soundbite said as he finally decided to rejoin the living.
"The one where everyone's repeating 'the frog do—' OH, NO, YOU DON'T!" she snapped.
"SO CLOSE!"
I chuckled. "Good try, Soundbite," I commented, before raising my voice. "Alright, everyone, joking aside, that frog is the sign that our training time has expired! We've got one short stop coming up, and then we'll be landing at the next island later today! Start getting your shopping lists together, preparing the gold for landing… oh, yeah, and someone cut me down from here!"
"On it!" Leo volunteered as he drew a sword and started to tense his tail—!
"NonononoWAIT!" I yelped, waving my hands in protest, but too late. He leapt above me, swung his sword…
CLUNK! "OW!"
And I promptly found myself nursing what I was certain was a concussion.
"…I should know better than this by now," I grumbled matter-of-factly as I lay on my back. "I've tempted you-know-who enough times with how I word things that I should know better than to give it an opening like that. So, why, why do I keep doing it?"
"Because you're an idiot?" Zoro asked blandly as he looked down at me.
I was silent as I mulled that statement over before shrugging indifferently. "Eh, can't argue with that. Now, then!" I promptly ignored my screaming muscles as I sprang to my feet and snapped a finger forward. "Sorry, Nami, but I need to temporarily shanghai one of your duties, because right now we need to follow that frog!"
"YEAH!" Luffy cheered emphatically.
"Sorry, Captain, he's got a tragic backstory, no grilling tonight."
"Awww…"
"Besides, frogs are terrible eating. Too many little bones," Zoro commented as he walked towards our armory/oar room, most likely to fish out the Dugongs' harnesses so they could tow the Merry.
"You're not supposed to eat them whole, moss-for-brains!" Sanji called after him.
While the Squad got themselves strapped up and prepared to dive into the waves, Usopp took the time to tap me on the shoulder. "Hey, Cross, while I'm sure from what you said that asking too much about that frog would fall under the 'spoilers' category—!"
"Indubitably," I nodded solemnly.
The sniper rolled his eyes at my dramatic tone before continuing. "—can you at least say how the—?"
"Watch it."
Usopp shivered as a vicious growl wafted over from Conis' general direction. "How he can do the front crawl?"
I mulled over my response for a moment before coming to my conclusion and shrugging. "In layman's terms, a long while back, someone showed him the technique and he practiced until he could do it."
"HA! You just defined how everyone's learned everything ever!" Boss barked jubilantly before turning his attention to his squad. "Now, then, enough lollygaggin'! C'mon, boys! Let's get to towin'!" And with that he dove over the edge and into the water.
"BOSS, YES, BOSS!" the four other Dugongs chorused before following their teacher.
A moment later, the Merry jolted forward and started following Yokozuna at a respectable clip, though there was a distinct cost, in the form of an unmistakable groaning sound coming from the deck below our feet. I nervously glanced down before hastily jogging up to Merry's figurehead and rubbing her neck.
"Just a little further, Merry, just a little more…" I muttered reassuringly. "As soon as we reach the next island, you'll be in the hands of the world's best shipwrights, I promise that it won't be long now." I leaned my forehead against the whitewashed wood, eyes closed and a grim smile on my face. "I swear… I'm going to do everything that I can to keep my word."
"…!"
"Wha—?" I jerked my head back in shock. For some reason, rather than the calm that a placated Merry would have produced, I felt a rush of sheer emotion shoot through me like Eneru's lightning. The feelings were many, but not a single one of them was good: fear, sadness, depression, misery, anger… Guilt. Regret.
"W-What the hell—!?" I breathed incredulously.
"Hey, Cross!"
I was snapped out of my confusion by the Merry jerking to a halt—with yet another pained groan at that—and Boss leaping onto the railing near me.
I spared Merry a final glance before focusing on the dugong. "Ah… y-yeah? What is it, Boss?"
The martial-artist jabbed his thumb over his shoulder at the water. "There's a line of buoys floating in the water and something really weird floating beyond that, something the frog's getting on! Should we follow it?"
Before I could answer, Soundbite paled in terror on my shoulder as he craned his eyestalks to stare into the water before us. Specifically, at the silhouette floating below the surface. "You have GOT to be kidding ME…" he breathed numbly.
I processed the development for a moment before allowing myself a smug smirk. "Well, seeing how you've apparently figured out what's going on, shall we harmonize our response?"
The snail hastily recovered with a smirk of his own. "LET'S!"
I slid into a flawless jazzhands as Soundbite and I grinned eagerly. "Nooooo~!" we sang, holding it out for a few seconds before I brought my fingers together in a cut-off sign.
Boss was unamused. "Very nice, you two. Now, why don't you—"
"WHOA!"
"HOLY SHIT!"
"WHAT THE HECK IS THAT!?"
"Eh?" Boss and I started to look towards what the rest of the crew was talking about—
WOOOT WOOOOOOOT!
—And then it was just there.
The Puffing Tom was… it was… wow, it was seriously something. I mean, I'd ridden my fair share of trains in my life, I was thoroughly familiar with the subways of New York and Paris and the TGVs of France, but this… this was a whole different beast.
And by God, there was no other word to describe the Puffing Tom than 'beast'. The size, the speed, the sheer aura of power that the mechanical marvel exuded… it was like looking at the primal epitome of industry and technology!
This… This was no mere train. This was a man-made Wonder of the World!
It also didn't hurt my opinion that I was a particularly avid fan of steampunk.
The moment of awe lasted for just that, a moment, and then time started up again as the engine roared past us and down the tracks, swiftly approaching the giga-toad who was positioned on the rails, palm extended and teeth grit in preparation.
I sent an inquiring glance at Soundbite. "So, I'm guessing Kermit or—?"
"STOP, PUFFING TOM!"
My questions were cut off in a sharp gasp as the frog roared a very familiar line in a relatively familiar voice. Before I could do anything else, however…
THWACK!
"GAH! DAMN IT!"
We were treated to the suddenly very un-funny sight of the large toad getting swatted aside by the unstoppable machine as though he were nothing, followed by the Puffing Tom swiftly chugging off into the distance, becoming nothing more than a pillar of steam in seconds.
I worked my jaw for a second as I processed what I'd just seen and heard before slowly glancing back at Soundbite. "…Schwarzenegger?"
"I may be a cheeky BASTARD, BUT I CAN'T SPEND THIS MUCH TIME WITH THIS CREW and mock conviction LIKE WHAT I JUST heard," Soundbite replied, shaking his head solemnly. He then allowed himself a tentative grin. "'Sides… Going by those SCARS? He'll be back."
That got a slight grin from me as I remembered the few flashbacks we'd gotten to this particular stretch of the sea. "Not if we have anything to say about it, he won't."
Boss finally got his jaw working again, gnawing on his cigar, and he gave me a searching look. "So… tragic backstory, huh? Care to share?"
"As soon as it becomes relevant, don't worry," I said dismissively, waving him off.
"Ah, 'scuse me, question?" Lassoo spoke up, raising a paw. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT THING!?"
I chuckled at the reaction. "Oh, ye of little experience. What you just saw was a steam-powered locomotive, more commonly referred to as a train, or in this case, a sea-train. It's the magnum opus and symbol of the island we're heading to next, Water 7, the greatest hub of shipwrights in the Grand Line. That train, the Puffing Tom, was the brainchild of the greatest of them all, a shipwright known as Tom. Frame of reference for how good he was: he built the Oro Jackson."
Robin, Nami, Vivi and Sanji promptly gaped at me in shock, while everyone else onboard stared blankly at me.
"Roger's ship," I clarified with a sigh.
There were the dropped jaws.
"SO COOL!" the Kiddy Trio and the TDWS exclaimed together, looking after the train—actually, no, not quite. Usopp wasn't staring in awe; he had collapsed to his knees, sighing in sheer relief.
"Thank goodness," he said. "Now I see what you meant by this being the best chance we had for Merry, Cross, if we're heading to a place with shipwrights like that."
Aaaand just like that the atmosphere whiplashed right back around to solemn. And it brought the feeling I had before back to the forefront of my mind. Shaking my head, I looked down at the figurehead again. "There, Merry, you hear that? Is that enough to convince you that I'll be able to—?"
"…!"
"GAH!" I yelped, enough emotional force slamming into me that I actually jumped back—
THUNK!
"WhoawhoawhoawhoaSHIT!"
THWACK!
—bumped into the railing of the forecastle and unfortunately overbalanced, promptly falling ass over teakettle and onto the far far far too solid deck below.
I lay groaning upside down for a moment with my ass hanging over my head before glancing up(?) at my crewmates with a slightly confused look. "I'm… not the only one who felt that, right?"
"No, Cross, you're not," Zoro said quietly, and the distinctly bothered expressions on my crewmates' faces and the fact that Lassoo, Su, Carue, and the TDWS were curled up on themselves were enough to show that that blast of sheer emotion had affected everyone.
"I'm certain that I don't want to know the answer to this…" Robin started in an uncharacteristically shaky voice. "But what in the world was that?"
"That was unpleasant, was what it was!" called an older woman's voice from nearby. All attention turned towards the nearby building rising above the water that we'd somehow missed.
Its owner was a tubby woman with long, frizzy light green hair, a large purple cap, a pink jacket, and a purple suit with khakis. A bottle of something alcoholic was in one hand, and contrary to my expectations, she was not smiling; the grim look on her face gave every implication that 'unpleasant' was an understatement.
Which was made particularly clear by the green-haired girl and blue rabbit lying beside her, white-eyed and foaming from the mouth.
"You felt that too, Granny?" I asked quizzically, to which I received a slap upside the head from Vivi.
"Seriously, Cross, I'd expect that kind of bluntness from Luffy, not you!" she said in astonishment.
"Eh, don't worry about it," Kokoro shrugged and waved her hand with a chuckle. "Lots of people call me Granny, I don't mind. I like it, even! Makes me feel respected."
"Whereas you continue to be far too impulsive without considering all the facts of the matter," I replied to the princess.
"I—but—you—that—!" Vivi started to sputter before settling on thwapping me with another dopeslap and marching back to Carue.
"So, how many times does that make, Soundbite?" Zoro asked.
"Crocodile, Octavio, RATCHET—!"
"HOW THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT THAT BASTARD WAS OUT OF HIS MIND!?"
"Aaaaand RANDOLPH."
Vivi opened her mouth… and shut it with a click and a blush. "I… have no viable excuses…"
"SO this makes FIVE!"
"Well, at least this time didn't result in us all nearly getting killed," Nami muttered.
"Ahem?"
The cough brought our attention back to Kokoro, who lowered her fist from where it was in front of her mouth. "I suppose I should introduce myself better: my name is Kokoro." She nodded her head back at her insensate pet and relative. "And this is my granddaughter Chimney and our cat Gonbe. We're the caretakers of this switch station. The reason why they're both unconscious is that yes, we felt that. It wasn't enough to have that snail of yours bring up some bad memories by giving Yokozuna a voice—" I winced. "—but then… well, I've been in this business for a long time, young man," she said, staring at us with an expression of stone-cold sobriety. "I haven't felt a ship scream in agony for years."
And there went the humor again. Seriously, I knew that this arc was meant to be one of the more depressing ones, possibly the most besides everything between Sabaody and the timeskip, but did that have to start now?
"Before you potentially chastise us about pushing her past her limits, believe us, we know that she's hurting," I hastily replied as we docked Merry beside the station. "We're headed straight for Water 7 to patch her up, no detours and no other objectives."
'Not if I can help it, anyway…' I mentally added.
She stared at me curiously for a moment, and then… then her expression contorted in grim realization. "You don't know yet."
The far too gentle tone of voice all but froze the blood in my veins. Apparently, yes, it did have to start now.
"…What do you mean, we don't know yet?" Usopp asked quietly.
Kokoro sighed tiredly, and then—
Re-re-note to self: age equals badass. I should have been able to reason that considering her stalwart performance at Enies. But if that wasn't enough, the fact that she jumped from the station onto the deck of the Merry with no sign of fatigue or pain whatsoever was a fresh reminder. Unfortunately, she still had that uncharacteristically serious look on her face, which prevented my surprise from lasting more than a second.
"I'm sorry to tell you this," she said grimly. "But the only time a ship could be in that much agony is if the keel was damaged beyond repair."
There was no warning, no preamble, just… it just hit us like cannonfire. Half of the crew bowed their heads, while the rest had looks of devastation on their faces. And me, personally? I felt as if the ground fell out from under me. A thoroughly apt comparison going by how I collapsed to my knees.
Usopp was the first to get his wits back about him, shaking his head in denial. "N-No, no! T-That, that can't be right!" Usopp denied. "W-We talked to her! W-We talked to Merry herself! Her Klabautermann! S-She said that she was hurt, yeah, but that—"
"But that she'd be able to tough it through for all your sakes?" Kokoro asked,
We looked at her in shock, and she sighed. "I told you, I've been in this business for a long time. While I can't say I've ever seen a Klabautermann myself, I've heard enough tales and seen enough ships that had them; it's a foregone conclusion that any ship that could give off that much emotion would be able to manifest him- or herself."
"…This probably isn't the time, but I thought all ships were female," Donny pointed out.
Kokoro shrugged. "It depends on the builder, the crew and the ship itself, though honestly, unless the ship does come alive, it's just aesthetic." She shook her head firmly. "We're getting off topic here. Listen, I know that I might not look it, but I know what I'm talking about here; your ship must have loved you a lot to continue on this far, but every story I've heard went the same way: ships only fix themselves and show themselves when they're already doomed."
"But that's not possible! Look around! She's still in one piece, she's still sailing!" Chopper protested. Kokoro looked at him.
"You're the doctor, right? Let me make an analogy for you: the keel of the ship is its spine. Any other part of the boat can be repaired or replaced, but if the keel cracks, that's a death sentence; it's only a matter of time from there before the ship splits in two."
"B-But how can you know that her keel is injured!?" Conis pleaded. "S-She said that it was hurt, yes, but—!"
"I know because I can hear the same thing that you all have been hearing for awhile now…" Kokoro sighed grimly. "That creaking sound… it's not just any two planks, or some random issue. That's a constant cry of pain that proves that your ship, no matter how much you love her, is already dead in the water. That's the sound of two halves of a keel grinding together."
It felt like time froze for us as we stared at the station-master in stunned silence, the only noises present being the sound of waves lapping against the station and our beloved ship… and the tortured echo of wood rubbing ringing in our ears.
"You can't be serious! There's no way that her keel isn't still in one piece!" Raphey objected at last.
"Yeah! We've dived under this ship more times than we can count, and we've never seen any damage to her keel! Just solid wood and metal plating from repair work!" Mikey said assertively.
Kokoro sighed and glanced at the dugongs. "And… have you ever looked under the plating?"
The implications of that statement sunk in with all the speed and impact of Chopper's syringes: if that plating had covered up her cracks, then that meant that they happened back when…
"Merry… n-no, you-you're wrong! You have to be wrong! Merry—!" I shook my head desperately as I stared at Kokoro. "M-Merry, s-she said that she was fine, t-that she'd hold on! Y-You can't…" I fought to keep the tears out of my eyes. "No… damn it… No! Merry…"
I looked away from Kokoro, struggling to my feet and staring up at the figurehead. "Merry, please, tell her she's wrong, tell her, tell us you're as strong as ever! I-I know it's not fair to ask but… just for a second, just for a second. Tell us she's wrong. Please tell us she's wrong."
For a few moments, there was nothing but absolute silence, stillness…
And then she was just there, standing before us, a translucent spectre that radiated sadness.
Kokoro's bottle fell out of her hand and spilled onto the deck, and everyone else stiffened in shock.
Merry's head was bowed so that even her mouth was hidden from view.
And then… she spoke just two words.
"…I'm sorry."
Cross-Brain AN: Yep! We're just gonna leave it at that for now! Sorry that the chapter was so short, but hey, time constraints and all that, plus losing one's job over bullshit can be a bitch. Still, look at it this way: you just have that much more to look forward to in the next chapter!
Chapter 36 Part 2
Cross-Brain AN: Oh, come on, did any of you actually think that we were going to leave it at that? For shame, for shame. The cliffhanger is par for the course, sure, but the word count? Please, our standards are so much higher than that!
The Klabautermann disappeared as quickly as she had come. And that was the moment where the more sensitive among our crew lost the ability to hold their emotions back.
Consequently, ten minutes after meeting Kokoro found everyone on the crew except Zoro, Sanji and Boss stewing in misery, one way or another. Robin kept some semblance of composure, but even she couldn't hold back from crying. Soundbite had gone into silent sulking, tears trickling down his eyestalks. Everyone else was either sobbing miserably or still stuck deep in shock.
Except for me, given the fact that after a couple of minutes of crying I'd flipped my emotions to the opposite end of the spectrum and slammed myself straight into rage. Rage at Merry for lying to us, rage at the world for how stupidly, stupidly unfair this was… and rage at myself for failing. Sure, I was still clinging to some stupid hope that Franky would be able to find something in the black market that could help us with how much gold we had to spend: a Devil Fruit, a miracle fix-all, something, anything!
But in the end, the revelation that I hadn't been able to keep her keel from cracking… that my efforts to change something, to make things better, were all for nothing?
Magma and hell and evil and war war WAR!
"Damn it damn it damn it damn it!" I cursed viciously as I clutched at my skull.
"G-Granny, come on!"
I glanced over at Usopp as he pulled himself out of his despair and started pleading with the impassive station mistress as she chugged her bottle.
"Isn't there anything we can do to help?!" the sniper begged, tears streaming from his eyes. "A-A Devil Fruit, an ANYTHING—?!"
"There isn't," she replied, though she was noticeably less firm than she had been before; Merry's appearance had definitively shaken her, and going by the way she was swishing the last dregs of her bottle in front of her, she was definitely of the opinion that she needed a fresh one. "Do you think you're the first crew to ask? The first to love their ship so much that they'd do anything to keep sailing with them? Trust me, I know what I'm talking about: There are no Devil Fruit powers either nearby or even in the general waters that can fix it, no methods to permanently mend a keel, no techniques to replace it, nothing. There aren't many afflictions that the world's finest shipwrights can't fix, but a cracked keel is one of them. I'm sorry, I truly am, but your ship, strong and brave as she is… is done for."
Aaand that was officially my fucking breaking point.
SLAM!
The rest of the crew jumped and looked over at me as I ground my knuckles into Merry's neck-brace. "For fucks' sakes, you stupid, stupid, stupid goat…" I spat. "What the fucking hell were you thinking!?"
"She was thinking that she loved you." I shot a halfhearted glare over my shoulder at Kokoro, who was watching me evenly, and with more than a little pity. "She was thinking that she loved you all, and that if you knew when it happened, you would compromise yourselves trying to help her. And, well… the ultimate mission of any ship is to keep their crew safe. She wouldn't want you to sacrifice yourselves for a lost cause."
My arm quaked as I pressed my fist harder and harder into the metal plate. "I…I promised her…" I hissed tearfully.
Kokoro shrugged indifferently as she knocked back what little of her drink she had left. "Sorry, but I can't help you there. Personally, it sounds like a discussion to be had between you and your god. Or, well…" She waved her hand casually. "Your lack thereof, anyways."
I stiffened in response to that, frowning as a thought occurred to me—
CHOMP!
"OW?!" I yelped as I snapped my hand to my neck.
"ARE YOU really willing to risk it?" Soundbite snarled around the chunk of flesh he was gnawing.
I frowned as I considered the situation, and what could possibly go wrong, but the images of Merry burning in the snowfall and her apology that I had just seen stayed in the forefront of my mind.
"Only as a last resort, but considering the alternative?" I shook my head sadly. "I honestly can't rule it out yet."
Soundbite grimaced, but released my neck; there was no doubt which of the two evils was lesser, though I knew it was about as likely that B.R.O.B. would ignore me as it would help me. I then directed my attention back to the deck, where Zoro seemed to be running interference for Kokoro's curiosity.
"So… there's really no choice but to get a new ship?" he asked seriously.
Kokoro shook her head somberly, and with considerable reluctance, I turned towards the crew, moving away from the figurehead and down to the main deck. "Either we let her die with dignity or we run her into the ocean. And I think we all know which one she wants… demands we pick."
"Are you saying we should abandon a member of our crew, Cross?" Luffy growled dangerously.
"Luffy…" Nami softly interjected before I could say anything. "The choice… either we leave her behind and let her go to sleep peacefully or all of us die along with her. And any other day I'd be alright with that, but…" She trailed off helplessly.
"This… This is a choice that a captain has to make, Luffy," Vivi said, sadly but firmly. "I understand better than anyone not wanting to let any of the ones you care about die. But…" She glanced at me meaningfully. "The world… it just doesn't work like that. The only thing we can do is—" Her voice broke, and she bit her knuckle in a clear attempt to keep from breaking down in tears.
"…In the aftermath of Blackbeard's attack…" Chopper spoke up solemnly. "There were just so many wounded. So many injured, so many dying…" The Zoan slowed his breathing in an obvious effort to keep calm. "Doctorine used it to teach me the hardest and most vital lesson a doctor can ever learn." Chopper looked up with a hard glint in his eyes. Only… it wasn't madness. Just cold, clinical finality. "Triage. The practice of sorting patients by severity. Of choosing who you try and save. Of… Of recognizing a lost cause, for the sake of others." He shook his head as he remembered the day. "I've never forgotten what I learned: that no matter how good you are, no matter how skilled or how many resources you have at your disposal, you can never manage to save everyone. Sometimes, the kindest thing you can do is just… make their death as painless and dignified as possible."
Luffy bit his lip, trembling with repressed rage and sadness as he mulled the words over. Slowly but surely, he looked around the deck. His eyes fell on Sanji, whose hair shadowed his eye while he attempted to light a cigarette, the lighter flickering as his hands shook. He looked at Boss, who mimicked the motion with a cigar. He looked at Conis, who snapped her head away, her face pained as she no doubt thought of all the souls who'd made the mistake of landing on Angel Beach.
Finally, he looked at Usopp. The sniper's expression was somewhere in the middle of anger and anguish, but he seemed completely unable to speak. After a minute, he finally opened his mouth, but suddenly paled. He looked as if he'd just seen a—
Luffy and I snapped our heads around to follow his line of sight, but there was nothing. Nothing but the ship and the horizon. We looked back at him, and slowly, some semblance of acceptance came over his face. Sighing, Luffy looked back at Kokoro.
"…Alright. We'll get a new ship," he said, his tone colorless and empty.
The second the words left his mouth, a wave of sheer relief brushed across us all. And I felt it like nothing less than a titanic punch in the gut.
Sanji shuddered heavily as he fumbled for his cigarettes and shakily lit a new one. He took a shaky, calming draw before eyeing the present veteran. "Granny Kokoro… what do you recommend we do?"
The old woman kept an eyebrow up as she watched us before sighing and shaking her head. "In my opinion, if you want to do good by her, the best thing to do is take her to Water 7. Let her see you on to your next ship and watch you set sail. After that… I promise you, I will personally make sure that she's put to rest with all of the honor that she deserves."
"…We'd appreciate that, Granny Kokoro," Usopp said quietly.
"It's no less than she's earned; I've witnessed a lot of bonds of love between ships and crews in the past, but yours is easily the strongest I've ever seen," Kokoro nodded firmly. "But, in the meantime… you're going to need a new ship before you leave the island. There are plenty of good models to go off of, and I'm guessing that you have all of the gold that you need. I can give you a good reference, help you get the best ship money can—"
"Granny," I cut in sharply. I had to fight tooth and nail to keep my voice steady; what I was saying felt like I was accepting defeat, but… if all was said and done, if there really was nothing we could do, then I had to take advantage of this while I could. "We don't need the best. We're sailing this ocean for one purpose above all else: to reach Raftel so that our captain can become King of the Pirates. If… If we need to get a new ship—"
"You do," Kokoro confirmed solemnly.
My hand snapped into a fist, but I forced myself to nod. "Our new ship… it can't be something run-of-the-mill. 'The best' is a plateau shared by a lot of ships worldwide and it's a valid one, a fine one, sure, but for us… 'the best' just isn't good enough. We need…" I forced myself to suck in a deep, calming breath as I tried to get my thoughts straight. "We need something else entirely. Something unprecedented, something…" I shrugged helplessly. "Something on par with the Oro Jackson herself. The pinnacle of shipbuilding, something that rewrites the entire book. Right here, right now, we need to go beyond the best. We need… we need the awe-inspiring, the unique… we need the ultimate."
Kokoro stared at me, then she turned to stare at Luffy. Tears still flooded the rubber man's eyes, but his usual grit was back. Finally, she heaved a sigh as she tilted the brim of her hat down. "This damn company is either blessed or cursed, and I can't tell which…" she muttered to herself before giving us all a serious look. "Wait here." With that, she promptly jumped back to the station and headed inside.
As soon as the door closed, I looked back at the crew, to see several questioning looks. I rolled my eyes before figuring out how to respond. "When Tom was still alive, he was the head of a company known as Tom's Workers. It was a small company, with only three people in it besides him: his two apprentices, and his secretary. Take a wild guess as to who said secretary was and is."
Even Luffy gained a look of understanding.
"At a guess, she'll be directing us to his apprentices in order to make us a new ship?" Robin divined.
"Bingo," I nodded in solemn agreement. "If anyone can make a ship worthy of succeeding Merry, then it's Franky and Iceburg. Of course…" I allowed myself a weak but nonetheless cheeky smile. "The real challenge will be actually getting them to cooperate, considering that they're… well, not as bad as Zoro and Sanji, but not too far off."
Everyone's faces immediately fell at that.
"We're doomed," Usopp sighed morosely.
"Hey, hey, I said they're not as bad as those two dipshits! After all…" I grinned slightly. "At the end of the day, beneath all the bullshit, they consider each other best friends."
"So, basically, not anything like us at all," Sanji deadpanned.
"Not even remotely," Zoro confirmed in an equally flat tone.
"Geeze, Cross, are you an idiot or something?" Luffy asked curiously.
"Now, now, remember, guys: you haven't seen everything I've seen," I said, before allowing my smile to grow dangerously smug as the word 'yaoi' flashed through my mind. "In fact, I've seen a lot of evidence that—MMPH?!"
"I'm sorry, Cross, but considering that you had that look on your face when you were about to insult Whitebeard, I have no doubt that this is for your own good," Robin said sweetly.
"SPOILSPORT!" Soundbite raged as I tried to wrench the flowery limb away from my mouth.
"Nagagagaga! Just like the Straw Hats, bouncing back from tragedy as easily as rubber."
All eyes turned back to the station, where Kokoro had readopted her typical wide smile. She leapt back onto the Merry, and held out her hands. One held not one, but two envelopes, and the other had a few blank pieces of paper.
"These letters are addressed to Iceburg, mayor of Water 7, and Franky, head of Water 7's underworld. The two of them are the best shipwrights you'll ever find, and I go way back with both of them. Give them these messages, and they'll build you a ship worthy of the Pirate King. And bring some money with you when you go to see them too, at least to show that you're good for it! My word will get you in the door, but shipbuilding's still an expensive business, no matter who's in your corner!" She grinned at Luffy. "Between you and me, I met Roger way back when. And you're a lot like him; I wouldn't write up letters like this for just anyone."
That, above all else, managed to alleviate the depression among the crew, as Luffy smiled like the sun. "Shishishi! Thanks a lot, Granny!"
"Nagagagaga, don't mention it," Kokoro said, waving us off before snapping up a finger. "But! Know that my help doesn't come free! I want something in return." She paused for effect, then held out the blank papers with her iconic grin. "Autographs from the world's first radio stars, one copy for Chimney, one for Gonbe, and one for me."
I eyed the rest of the papers she was holding. "And the extras?"
Kokoro's grin widened impishly. "Rainy day fund! My bet's that the future Pirate King's autograph is gonna be worth something one day!"
Nami promptly adopted an aghast expression and slapped a hand to her forehead. "Why didn't I think of that?!"
That particular statement drew a load of unbidden chuckles from us, and that alleviated a lot of the remaining tension.
A few flourishes with ink later—which involved Carue demonstrating that even royal ducks knew calligraphy, Soundbite deciding to make his bite marks his signature, the Dugongs sketching their weapons, and Lassoo and Su leaving pawprints—Kokoro had her stack of sheets.
"Nagagaga! Well, looks like I'm all set for this Christmas!" Kokoro chuckled as she looked over the papers before shooting us a salute. "Thanks a lot, you all! Happy travels and the best of luck! I'll see you again in a couple of days!" And with that, she prepared to jump off.
"Hey, hold on a sec, Granny," I said hastily as a thought occurred to me. "Let me get you a little something extra for all of this. Conis, do you have any of those pictures left?"
A grin instantly stretched over the angel's face as she started rummaging through her pockets. "As a matter of fact, I do," she said, drawing out a familiar piece of paper and flicking it to the stationmaster. "Here, Granny Kokoro. This is a picture of the tyrant Eneru when he fought Luffy."
Kokoro took one look at the picture of Luffy kicking Eneru in the gut and fell onto her back, laughing her head off. We all stole a glance at the picture as well, and the resulting laughter helped to lighten the mood even more.
After that, we set out from the switch station, following the sea-train tracks towards the metropolis waiting for us relatively close by. With the mood somewhat more upbeat, I was content to let myself stare off into the distance without a care in the world. At least, until I was wrenched back into the present.
"So, Cross…" Su said as she leapt up onto the railing, giving me a curious glance. "Anything you want to tell us about what's coming up next, or would you rather we all be taken by surprise?"
"You mean besides the run-of-the-mill madness and craziness?" I said, smirking wryly before shrugging and turning around to look at my friends. "But, ah, seriously, if the Captain's alright with it…?"
Luffy started to say something, only for Nami and Zoro to grab his cheeks and yank. "Ah… How much do you think you need to tell us, Cross?" he asked through his stretched mouth.
"Not much, Luffy, just a warning about one group that could be the difference between us making them our friends or our enemies," I reassured him.
Luffy blinked thoughtfully for a second before shrugging. "Alright, that's fine, then." And with that, our first and second mates let his mouth snap back into place.
"Good boy," Nami deadpanned.
"Great!' I clapped my hands together and rubbed them eagerly. "So! To start, like Kokoro said, Franky is the head of Water 7's underworld, pretty much the quirkiest and most likeable mafia boss you'll ever meet, if you can even call them a proper mafia. Odds are that he and his followers, a group of semi-organized—!" I hesitated slightly as I considered things. "Ah, make that quarter-organized—!" I thought a little harder on the matter. "Ah… anyway, hopefully he and the band of thugs called the Franky Family have a high opinion of us from the SBS. But on the off chance that they don't… well, just try to avoid anyone wearing black with pink stars and strangely designed goggles. The Franky Family makes their living off of hunting bounties and dismantling ships, so if they don't like us? They'll only see beri signs."
"You think we can't handle a bunch of thugs, Cross?" Boss said, sounding offended by the implication.
"Nonono, 'handling them' is the exact problem here!" I waved my hands in a panic. "They may be pushovers compared to us, but Franky isn't, and he's easily as protective of his own as we are. If we harm his family, he's going to want revenge, and considering how we need his help if we want Merry's successor to have even half a chance at surviving the true maritime hell that's coming, having him as our enemy is the last thing we need."
"Alright, pink stars and weird goggles, got it," Sanji nodded in understanding. "And what about Iceburg, anything to worry about on his end?"
"Oh, Horus, no, he's known and beloved by everyone on the island. He can be a bit odd at times, sure, but apart from that, he's a perfect saint," Vivi said.
I looked at her in surprise. "You met him?"
"We stopped by Water 7 on the way to and from the Reverie, and Iceburg always greeted us," Vivi explained with a casual shrug. "It wasn't for long, mind you, just a confirmation that our needs were met, but the impression I got from him and literally anyone on the island that we asked was that it was impossible to dislike the man." She then frowned as a thought struck her. "Unless you know otherwise?"
"Oh, no, no," I denied hastily. "That's pretty much him in a nutshell: one of the best people you'll ever meet, and honestly, I can't be sure if that oddness he shows is real or just obfuscating stupidity."
"Obfuscating? Interesting choice of words, Cross," Robin remarked.
"I didn't come up with the term, Robin. But, yeah, it'll be easy to find him, and odds are that Kokoro's recommendation, however sloppily written, will be all that we'll need," I reassured him, before turning around and heading towards Merry's storage room. "Anyways, that's the only warning the general crew's got to worry about for now. Zoro, Nami, Vivi, I've got a bit more to tell you guys."
"So you mean you're not even trying to be subtle about the fact that you're hiding stuff from us now!?" Usopp sputtered.
"Eeyup!" Soundbite and I chorused as I courteously opened the door for Vivi, who curtsied exaggeratedly in thanks.
"Boss, you and your students try to ease Merry along as much as you can; make sure we stay by the tracks," Nami offhandedly ordered before she and Zoro entered as well.
"I do not agree with this arrangement!" Usopp shouted desperately.
"AGREED!" the TDWS chorused.
"Your concerns are duly noted," I said to them with a cheeky grin before pulling the door shut.
Soundbite needed no prompting to deploy the Gastro-Scramble as the door closed. I was silent for a moment before rapping my fist against my forehead with an angry sigh. "You know, all snark aside, the only reason I'm not telling them this is that I can't trust anyone but you guys to act natural under this sort of pressure."
"That bad, huh?" Zoro asked.
"Worse. Tell me, Vivi… have you ever heard of the Cipher Pols?"
The princess stiffened. "They're… meant to be the World Government's primary intelligence gathering organizations, highly covert and highly deadly." Her face paled as she connected the dots. "T-They're on Water 7?! That's not good, not good at all! Which one is it? Six? Three? One?"
I bowed my head grimly. "If only… it's number Nine."
The blood promptly drained from my female friends' faces, while Zoro merely stiffened.
"The assassins that kill anyone that the World Government deems a threat? That organization actually exists?" Nami demanded.
"You have to be mistaken, please tell me you're mistaken!" Vivi whimpered miserably.
I shook my head in denial. "Sorry to confirm your worst nightmares, but the boogeymen known as CP9 are all too real. Their base of operations is the Government's judicial island, Enies Lobby, and they're the original masters of the Six Powers. These guys aren't just assassins, they're full-blown living weapons. Four of the agents are undercover in the city, and have been for the last five years. And our arrival? It's going to be the trigger for them to break cover and finish their mission."
"And what mission would that be, Cross?" Zoro asked sternly.
I winced. This was not going to go over well. "Water 7 has been the global center of shipwrighting for centuries. Even stretching all the way back to the Blank Century itself. Since then, it has been home to a very, very specific heirloom that has been passed down from master to apprentice for generations. An heirloom which, in the wrong hands, could change the face of the world. This selfsame heirloom is what the agents have been subtly scouring the island for for almost half a decade."
Soundbite swallowed heavily as he eyed me nervously. "W-What is IT?"
I reached up and tipped the brim of my hat down so that it shadowed my eyes. "The blueprints for the most powerful battleship ever conceived, which has devastated innumerable lives over the years without ever seeing the light of day: Pluton."
Soundbite, Nami and even Zoro paled, as I thought they might, but Vivi…
Vivi's expression practically warped, morphing into a twisted combination of both horrified, bloodless apprehension and complete and utter outrage. "That fucking weapon…" she hissed.
"Don't worry, don't worry," I raised my hands placatingly. "The blueprints will be destroyed before we're done and only one key to that thing will be left in existence, and it'll be well out of anyone's reach. Barring any completely unforeseen circumstances, Pluton will never bother us again, alright?"
"And what's the other—?!" Vivi began, before falling silent as she noticed my thumb pointing over my shoulder at the door. "…ah. And you're sure—?"
"Ohara burned because of the damn Weapons. Trust me, she hates having that knowledge in her head as much as you do," I informed her. "But… that's not to say that nothing can make her use it. That's the biggest risk we're going to have on Water 7. CP9 was in charge of destroying Ohara with a Buster Call. And now, their chief has either been granted the authority to activate another one or he's stolen it for himself. In the end, it doesn't really matter: that call goes out, the island it went out on burns. And if Robin finds out about that…"
"She'll run for the hills because she thinks we're not strong enough to stop it…" Nami divined soberly, which got a grimace out of me in return.
"Worse than that: because she thinks we're not strong enough to stop it, she'll turn herself over to certain death in a misguided attempt to try and save the rest of us. And if that happens, there will only be one course of action we can take to save her. And epic though it would be, I think I speak for all of us when I say I'd rather avoid having to storm Enies Lobby." I allowed myself to relax a bit as a grin that was equal parts goofy and eager stretched across my face. "No matter how fun or cathartic it might be…"
Vivi allowed a slight line of drool to slide out of her mouth as she stared at nothing. "Yeah… seeing a whole Government island burn would be pretty awesome…" she mused before hastily shaking her head. "But, ah, no, I think we'd rather avoid that if possible. So, what are we supposed to do?"
"Chopper and Sanji will be assigned to watch Robin like hawks, and the five of us will need to avoid the four agents as much as possible: Kalifa, Iceburg's blonde secretary, which is why Sanji isn't in here; Blueno, a bartender with his hair done up in ox horns, close friend of a lot of people on the island; Kaku, a shipwright with a nose like Usopp's but square instead of round, very well-respected; and above all, Rob Lucci, a stern-faced shipwright who only speaks through ventriloquism with his pigeon, also well-respected." I sharpened my glare. "I cannot stress this enough: even if worst comes to worst, no matter what happens, no matter what… do not, not challenge Rob Lucci unless you want to die."
"Is he really that bad, Cross?" Zoro asked with a hint of eagerness. I responded by leveling a chilling glare at him.
"Don't even think about it, Zoro. Luffy is the only one who has even the remotest of remote chances at beating him, and even then, it was a close thing; he was pushed to and far past his limits, to the point that after he dealt the finishing blow, he barely had enough energy left to speak, much less stand. And Lucci brought him to that point, without weapons, without trickery, without any sort of special abilities to warp the fight. All he has is sheer brute force, backed up by the Six Powers and the Cat-Cat Fruit, Model: Leopard."
Zoro grimaced ferociously, and I had the distinct impression that he was thinking something in the vein of 'I need more training.'
"'Sides, if things do go south, you'll be getting your fill through Kaku. He's a real swordsman; some Devil Fruit bullshittery, but apart from that, a worthy challenge. Satisfied?"
Zoro's feral grin was all that I needed to see.
"So, avoid those four as much as possible if we want to stay alive, easy enough. Anything else that we need to know?" Nami asked.
"Ah, let's see…" I started counting down on my fingers. "Well, Kaku and Kalifa don't have powers yet, their fruits are waiting at Enies Lobby, so that's a bullet dodged. But Blueno ate the Door-Door Fruit, which lets him turn anything he touches into a door. Extremely useful for assassinations. Besides that…"
I did a quick mental review, and then my eyes widened. "Actually, there is one more thing, though more annoying than dangerous. Iceburg's right-hand shipwright, a cigar-smoker with enough ropes up his sleeve to build a house out of them named Paulie, might try to take some of our money to pay off loan sharks that he's indebted to. Again, odds are that the SBS has removed that particular worry, but then again, that much money can make people a bit stupid, so just FYI."
"If he does try that, he'll wish he hadn't," Nami snarled fervently before marching to the door. "Alright, if that's all, I'd better get back to navigating."
"Right, right, go ahead," I said, waving my hand casually before reaching for my bag. "And as for me, I'm going to do my best to fend off depression and kill a few hours the only way I know how. Try tuning in, this is gonna be fun." I glanced at Soundbite. "Ring up Apoo. If ever there was a good time to start things off with him, this would be the one."
-o-
Boa Marigold hissed slightly as she rolled her shoulder, listening attentively as her joints popped in preparation. "Alright, sisters, what do you suggest we improve on today?"
"It better not be tail-lifts again," Sandersonia groused as she stretched her hamstrings. "I swear that we've done it for the past three sessions."
"What's wrong, Sonia?" Hancock chuckled as she bandaged her… assets. "Unable to stand the pain needed to afford the gain?"
The green-haired amazon hissed irritably as she shot her sister a stinkeye. "First, I'm taller than both of you; second, I don't have muscles like cables like Mari; and third, you don't have to deal with phantom pains coming from your nonexistent tail when you're human, so you have no right to criticize me! Got it!?"
Hancock and Marigold exchanged looks before smiling, causing the tallest of the three to break out in a cold sweat.
"Alright, then, that's fair," Marigold smirked, fangs flashing in her mouth as she slowly grew to tower above her. "Then in that case, whatever shall we do instead?"
"Oh, a thought occurs…" Hancock purred as the air started to shimmer around her. "It has been ever so long… perhaps we shall work on our dear sister's resistance to Conqueror's Haki in the middle of live combat instead?"
"Like I was saying, you can never have enough practice with tail-lifts!" Sandersonia yelped as she snapped into her hybrid form and shot into the abandoned stands of Amazon Lily's arena, cowering in terror from the sadists she called sisters.
On a day like any other, between the Kuja Pirates' raids from island to island, the Gorgon Sisters were honing their skills away from the prying eyes of the rest of the tribe. It wasn't so much that they minded others watching—there was nothing Hancock loved more than an adoring audience—as it was that training was easier when they didn't have to pull their punches in order to avoid incurring any clothing damage. As such, whenever the Gorgons trained, the rest of the tribe granted them as much privacy as they did when they were bathing.
Or at least, that was the case, up until that very training session. As Sandersonia straightened from the stands, movement from one of the entrances caught her eyes. In a flash of green, the anaconda-woman dove across the stands, snapped her tail into the corridor—
"GAH!"
And hissed irritably as she withdrew a struggling Kuja warrior from the shadows, wrapped up in her coils. "Looks like we've got a little rat sneaking around, sisters…" she bit out. Marigold and Hancock instantly snapped out of their amusement, and in short order, the squirming amazon found herself looking at the distinctly angry faces of the island's three strongest warriors.
"I do believe I recognize her…" Marigold hummed as she twisted around her sister in order to both get a better look at the interloper and increase the fear factor. "Marguerite, one of my higher-level students. Quite skilled in her Armament."
"Looks like you'll need to start looking for a new favorite," Sandersonia growled as she started flexing her coils.
"Ah, n-no, wait, please, I-I'm sorry!" Marguerite pleaded as she stared at the sister's leering fangs in terror.
"Hold it, Mari, Sonia," Hancock cut in with an impassive tone and expression. "She hasn't done anything wrong yet. Let her go so that she may explain herself."
The snake-hybrids shot shocked looks at their sister. "Who are you and what have you done with Hancock?" they chorused in unison.
The Pirate Empress scowled in annoyance. "Would you mind not acting quite so surprised!? I don't actually only listen to every other word Princess Nefertari says, you know!"
The two serpents, if anything, only looked more incredulous. They then looked panicked when it felt like the weight of the world slammed down on them, a vein on Hancock's forehead prominently displayed. "Proof enough?"
The snake-women promptly snapped back into their human forms and bowed their heads to the ground. "We apologize for our disrespect, dearest sister!"
Hancock sniffed imperiously as she stared down at the two of them. "I shall consider accepting your apologies at a later date. For now, however…" The Snake Princess strode up to the still-shell-shocked Kuja warrior, causing her to flinch back in terror—
And then she blushed, all but melting as the impossibly beautiful woman put a finger beneath her chin and slooowly tilted her head up. "I apologize for my sisters' actions… Marguerite, was it? Clearly, they require more experience with the finer points of leadership," Hancock said gently.
"T-That's alright, I-I understand…" Marguerite only just managed to whisper out.
The two other Gorgon sisters looked halfway between incredulous and outraged; if it wasn't enough that Hancock had the gall to say that she was a better leader than them, it seemed like it was actually true in this case! What was the world coming to?!
"When did we become the bad guys?!" Marigold hissed out of the corner of her mouth.
"Now will you listen to me when I say we need to find the other Snake-Snake Fruit users and unionize!?" Sandersonia shot back.
"I'm certainly considering it now."
"Even so," Hancock continued, her smile fading slightly. "All my sisters and I ask is that you and your comrades stay out of the arena when we train for your own protection. After all…" She turned around and moved her hair to the side, causing Marguerite to shiver in terror as she gazed at the scant few strips of cloth that separated her from being turned to stone. "You know that to gaze upon the eyes is certain death. So, why did you disobey?"
Marguerite had tears in her eyes as she faced the disappointment in the Pirate Empress' eyes. It seemed likely that she would have bowed her head in shame were it not for Hancock's finger holding it up. "I… I w-wanted to talk… to the three of you in p-private. And th-this seemed like the best chance," she stammered.
All three of the sisters seemed curious upon hearing the answer. Slowly, Hancock withdrew from her, looking with an unsmiling but not unkind expression upon the Kuja.
"In the future, the best way to do that would be to put forth a request for a private audience. But as we're already here, what did you want to talk to us about?
"I… well…" Marguerite swallowed heavily as she got her thoughts in order. "E-Ever since the Strawhat Pirates began broadcasting their adventures via the SBS, I have learned… so much about the world of men. The existence of Sky Islands, the extent of power of the World Government—" She allowed herself to quirk up a slight smile. "Their… shall we say, unique ways of thinking and acting…" Her expression hastily sobered up again. "But… one of the most important things I've learned is how they fight. Their… Their unique abilities." Marguerite bit her lip and looked away uncomfortably. "Their... Their unique abilities that allow them to break the laws of physics, that allow them to… to transform into animals…" She swallowed heavily in an effort to steel her nerves. "These… These abilities… Cross explained that they came from… from Devil Fruits…"
Due to being distracted by her emotions, Marguerite was entirely unaware of the tension that had come over the sisters, or of the fact that the Snake-Zoans were slowly rising to tower behind her.
Marguerite bowed her head and kicked meekly at the ground. "H-Honorable sisters, know that I truly respect none moreso than you and that I would never mean any disrespect, b-but…" She shook her head firmly. "I-I'm sorry, but considering what I know, I-I just can't deny what I suspect."
"And what do you suspect, warrior?" Hancock ordered more than asked. Gone was any trace of compassion or mercy, only a frigid coldness appropriate for an iceberg… or an executioner.
The blonde Kuja shivered as she stared into her Princess's eyes, but she forged on anyway. "H-Honorable sisters… do… do you… have… Devil Fruit powers?"
Hancock's expression promptly flashed into a mask of rage as she snapped her fingers.
WHOOSH! CRACK!
"YEARGH!"
The instant the sound rang out, both Sonia and Mari lashed out with their serpentine bodies, coiling around Marguerite and all but crushing her with their tails. As it was, the force of the assault was enough to snap over a dozen bones at once.
The panicked warrior coughed up a mouthful of blood as she tried desperately to draw air. "Y-Your highness, p-please, mer—GRK!"
"Quiet," Hancock snarled as she crushed Marguerite's throat beneath her fingers before relaxing her grip just enough to allow her a minimal flow of oxygen. "How many others know?"
"I… m-my comrade S-Sweet Pea guessed, a-and she started to explain her t-thoughts to my ally Aphelandra… B-BUT!" Marguerite yelped as she noticed Hancock shooting a deadly glance up at her sisters. "W-When I-I realized that she was p-probably right, I d-dissuaded them, convinced them they were wrong. I-I knew that y-you must have a reason that you w-wouldn't tell us, t-that's why I c-came alone! N-Not even my partner Kaa knows!"
The Gorgon Sisters exchanged looks. Hancock in particular looked marginally less upset, and even contemplative. Ultimately, however, she pinned Marguerite with a pitiless stare. "You have my thanks, Marguerite."
The warrior blinked at her in confusion…
SNRK!
"GYAGH!" Marguerite screamed in agony as the serpent-women's coils tightened further, ignoring what little Haki she'd erected.
"Your discretion means that we won't have to harm anyone else in order to maintain our privacy."
"P-Princess…" Marguerite wheezed.
"Such an intelligent warrior…" Marigold growled as she circled around her captive. "Such a shame that her foolishness led to her suffering such an ignoble death."
"Yesss," Sandersonia hissed in agreement as she followed her sister. "If only she hadn't slipped while feeding my dear Bacura. She might have even been a member of the crew one day." She unhinged her jaws and flashed her fangs in a vicious leer. "Oh, well!"
And with that, the sisters lashed down—
"Don don don don!"
—before freezing as the Transponder Snail the Boas had brought with them started ringing.
Sonia snapped her mouth shut and crossed her arms with an irritated hiss. "Why am I even surprised, his sense of timing is always like this," she grumbled.
"It would appear that you get to live a little longer, Marguerite," Marigold muttered, though she only loosened enough to grant the Kuja half a breath. "Considering the Strawhats' typical integrity, I for one find it would be in… bad taste to do something so unsavory during the SBS, regardless of the necessity."
Hancock sniffed as she brought up the snail. "I suppose there's no harm in waiting a few minutes or hours; she's not going anywhere." With nary another thought to their captive, she picked up the snail's microphone, causing it to awaken with a very familiar shit-eating grin.
"Nine Seakings, ten seakings! Aaand that's all we're waiting for! Hello, ladies and gentlemen of this fine and fucked up world we live in, my name is Jeremiah Cross and with me is my co-host—!"
"The unmistakable AND UNFORGETTABLE SOUNDBITE!"
"Indeed, and it is my honor to tell you all that—!"
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!
Cross's proclamation was cut off by a rapping noise coming from his end.
"Eh? The heck?" There came the creaky noise of a door opening. "Leo? What do you want?"
"Oh, nothing in particular, I just wanted to tell you that it's time to start the SBS."
"Oh, well, that's just fine, then, thanks for telling me!" And with that, the door shut. "Now, where was I… oh, right, it's time to start the—HEY, WAIT A SECOND! DAMN IT, LEO, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU BEING ONE OF THE SERIOUS ONES!?"
"TRAITOR!" Soundbite roared in agreement.
"How is it that despite knowing that it's coming every time, that joke never stops being funny?" Sonia snickered.
"Some things are just sacred like that…" Marigold sighed wistfully.
"… grrggh! BAH! Screw it! The universe might be against me, but I'm not going to stop trying! I'm going to manage to start this thing again if it's the last thing I do!"
"AND I'M going to stop you again IF IT'S THE LAST THING THAT I DO!"
"Challenge accepted. Alright, anyways, moving on. People of the world, a while back I promised to speak on the topic I will share with you today, a very important one at that, and considering that I've got a lot more time on my hands now, it is my opinion that I may as well dive on into it. Today's topic? The fishmen. Or rather, both fishmen and merfolk… and tolerance."
The three sisters promptly stiffened in shock as every iota of their attention was locked on to the snail, ignoring even the slight tingles of fire and pain they felt dancing on their backs.
"Now, for those of you who know of this crew's reputation from before we created the SBS, you may find it strange that I would want to speak favorably of fishmen, considering what happened with Arlong. In response to you who wonder that, it's the same standards that I go by with pirates and Marines: one fragment is not necessarily a fair representation of the whole. Which actually brings me around to the central point of this particular discussion: explaining just why we hate one another, when in the end, we're all exactly the same. …Heh, I imagine that I just confused a lot of people, considering how the entire topic is based around our differences, huh? Let me try and explain what I'm talking about."
-o-
"Well, let's start with defining our differences, so that you can understand why defining their species by them is, frankly, ridiculous. Fishmen and Merfolk are, as their names so clearly imply, part fish. Sometimes the traits that define them as such are blatantly obvious, such as tails, fins, gills, extra limbs, and so on and so forth. They've developed martial arts styles that let them manipulate water as they like, they're physically stronger by about ten times than any normal human—though considering the Grand Line, let's be honest, that's not saying much—and, of course, most poignant and definitive of all, they can survive underwater as easily, if not better than, if they were on land. When you put all that together, you get a person who's nothing at all like an average human, don't you? Someone who can do the impossible and who looks completely different, right? Well, see… I can actually name humans just like that: Devil Fruit users."
"What does he mean, Martin? Devil Fruit users can't swim—" asked a young blue tang fishgirl.
"Shh! Quiet, Lori, we'll get in trouble if we get caught!" hissed an older and much more serious clownfish fishboy, who took the time to glance out into the darkened streets of the Fishman District and guarantee that yes, nobody with a very specific tattoo was around to see them. "Why do you think we're listening to this in an alleyway?"
"Yeah, yeah, I know, if Hody's guys find us they'll crack our skulls together, but still—!"
"He'll probably explain, now shush!"
"Allow me to clarify a bit: Devil Fruit users are capable of incredible, impossible feats, things beyond the capabilities of even fishmen, and yet… we still treat them as human. Why? Because they look like every other human? Because intellectually, we know that they were born human? In case you haven't noticed, there's a rather spectacular double-standard going on here: we hate fishmen for being different, but we don't hate Devil Fruit users in spite of them being different. Well, there are admittedly a few people who see people with Abilities as monsters, but I'm fairly certain those are just uneducated hicks, or the user in question has earned that reputation, so I'm counting them as exceptions. Anyway, where was I…"
"Yeah, where was he?"
"Lori, have you been skipping your pills again?"
"They make my head spin!"
"They make your head work!"
"Ah, right, now I remember!" Cross chuckled sheepishly. "Now then, now that I've defined just how we're different let me tell you how we're similar. Let's start from the most simple: we're all made of the same stuff. Same flesh, same bone, same blood. We bleed the same, we breathe the same, half the time anyways, and we eat the same. When it comes to lifestyle, they're still the same: they live, they love… and they even hate. Yes, some fishmen, like Arlong or those like him, hate humans just as much as some humans hate fishmen. But the question is… why do we hate each other? As I've just pointed out, our differences aren't all that pressing, while our similarities are through the roof! Come the final tally… we're all one and the same. So… why? Why do our species hate each other so thoroughly?"
"Hey, he's actually got a good point," the blue tang fishgirl pointed out.
The clownfish glanced out of the alleyway for a second before gesturing for her to go on.
"Well, Hody and his guys always tell us that humans are bad and junk, right? But I've never even really seen a human, and I don't think I've ever heard about humans doing anything to them either, and from what I've been hearing via the SBS they actually sound pretty cool! So…" Lori tilted her head in confusion. "Why do Hody and his guys say we have to hate him?"
Martin opened his mouth to respond, then slowly closed it without a word.
"Now, before I go on, I'll readily admit that a good number of fishmen and merfolk have every reason to hate our race due to what I described the last time I mentioned fishmen: slavery. I won't go into the specifics, but it's a long and bloody history that's justified hatred for the human race among any who went through that hell, or knows someone who did. And I'll readily admit that I have no point of reference for how they feel, so what I'm saying here may not be all that reasonable. But even so, the fact is that for every fishmen that's been enslaved, there are still others who haven't. There's a new generation who haven't ever met the other race, who should have no grudge against them, but are still being told that they must hate them anyway. There are fishmen who've never met humans, and humans who have never met fishmen… and yet, they know with all their hearts that they must hate one another without mercy. Why do they hate each other, if they've never even met each other? If they have no personal grudges? The answer is simple… yet horrifying."
The fish-children leaned in close, listening intently.
"They hate one another… for the sheer sake of hatred itself."
Lori opened her mouth to say something…
"Oi, you two."
And then she and Martin both froze as a pair of hands clamped down on their heads and a sickeningly familiar voice sounded behind them.
"Tell me…"
The children's heads were turned against their will, forcing them to stare down the leering beak of the New Fishman Pirates' primary recruiter.
"What the hell…" Hammond hissed viciously. "Do you think you're doin'?"
Martin swallowed heavily, fighting to keep his bladder under control. "N-N-Nothin'… j-just killing time…"
"Y-Yeah, yeah!" Lori nodded frantically in agreement.
"Oh, really, now?" Hammond slowly cocked his eyebrow. "Because it looks to me…" He turned their heads back to stare at the snail. "Like you two're listening to that human drivel that Captain Hody outlawed from the Fishman District. After all, the last thing any decent fishman needs to waste their time on is listening to a human."
"W-W-We're sorry…" Lori whimpered tearfully.
"Heh…" Hammond's leer widened by several teeth. "Funny thing, that. The last bloke we caught listening to this garbage, he was sorry too. Pleaded and pleaded, but he said he liked listening to the damn thing." The pike conger fishman leaned in close to the kids so that he was hissing in their ears. "Ya know what we did to him?"
Martin's eyes shot wide in panic. "Nonono, please don't, we'll never listen again, we promise, we—!"
"That's right!" Hammond crowed as he forced the clownfish-kid forward so that he was face to face with his borrowed Transponder Snail. "Since he said he liked the human's words so much, we made him eat them. Rather clever play on words, that. Came up with it myself, made the boss laugh, all poetic and junk. And would ya look at that! This here source of words is an adult one! That's good!" He forced Lori forward as well so that she was side by side with Martin. "That means that you two can share."
"Nononono—!"/"Please, I-I'll do anything, just leave her alone, please—!"
"Ah, will you two shaddup already?" Hammond shook his head with an aggravated growl. "You kids don't seem to understand here: either you prove that you're actually sorry about listening to that garbage…" He cracked his neck side to side. "Or we make certain that you never listen to it agai—GRK!"
The New Fishman Pirate's diatribe was suddenly cut off by a massive blue hand encircling his throat and crushing his windpipe shut.
"Let. Them. Go."
Hammond promptly complied, whipping his hands away from the kids' heads in favor of scrabbling at the fingers that were choking the life out of him.
The blue-skinned whale shark fishman glared bloody murder at the conger fishman for a second before sparing the children a concerned glance. "Are you two alright?"
Martin and Lori nodded in confirmation.
"That's good," Jinbe sighed in relief before putting a finger up. "Please be patient for a moment." He then darkened his expression as he lifted Hammond off the ground and twisted his grip so that he could stare him in the eye. "Now, you listen, and you listen good, you two-bit slaving hypocrite. You are going to go back to Hody and you are going to tell him that I am enforcing a new taboo in the Fishman District: anyone who tries to stop anyone else from listening to the SBS will have to deal with me. Do I make myself clear?"
Hammond gurgled in both terror and fury as the grip on his throat loosened just enough for him to speak. "You… traitor… Hody's gonna—!"
Jinbe jerked Hammond close, so that their faces were only a few inches apart, and snarled, emphasizing his size and fangs as much as he possibly could.
Hammond paled and started nodding frantically. "A-Alright, alright, alright! I-I'll tell him, I'll tell him, I sw—!"
"Good."
Without further ado, the fishman Warlord smoothly turned his torso and swung his arm, and one second later, the New-Fishman Pirate slammed into the building across the street from the alleyway.
"Now leave," Jinbei ordered in a barely calm tone. "And if you say anything else—!"
Judging by how fast the slaver shot down the street, the whale-shark fishman had gotten his point across.
Jinbe glared after him for a second longer before taking a moment to soften his expression and look back at the children. "You're both certain you're alright, yes?"
Martin and Lori looked at one another for a second before nodding firmly.
"Yeah, we're fine. It takes more than that to hurt a fishman!" Lori proclaimed proudly.
"We're as tough as Fisher Tiger himself!" Martin concurred.
Jinbei smiled proudly as he leaned down and patted their heads. "Yes. Yes, you most certainly are. Now then, if you'll excuse me," he said as he stood up and turned to exit the alley. "I need to go and make sure the rest of Hody's crew gets the message properly. Please, feel free to keep listening to the SBS, and make sure your friends listen too. It's quite educational."
"Yes, sir!" the clownfish-kid nodded.
Jinbei started walking…
"Ah, sir?"
Before pausing and glancing back as Lori tugged on his pants leg. "Yes?"
"Uh, well…" the blue tang girl kicked the ground shyly. "Mister Cross said that Hody and his guys hate humans… just because, right?
Jinbei's expression saddened slightly before he nodded. "Yes, that's correct."
The girl's face twisted in confusion. "But… But that's just stupid! …Isn't it?"
The Warlord stood stock still for a moment…
And then he slowly turned around, crouched down, and patted the girl's head with a very proud smile.
"Yes. Yes, it is. That is exactly right," he confirmed, tears shimmering in the corners of his eyes.
-o-
"Now, again, I can't speak for those who have true darkness in their pasts. But for the rest, the ones yet unaffected, I believe that it should be plain and self-evident just how utterly asinine this motivation is. To propagate love for the sake of love, fun for the sake of fun, happiness for the sake of happiness? These are all perfectly acceptable motivations. But to propagate hatred for the sheer sake of hatred itself… there is no justification. No acceptable motivation, no righteous enough cause, and definitely no benefit that anyone with a heart or a lick of sense would consider acceptable. In the end, hatred… is utterly pointless."
In a kingdom of pure white, hidden from the rest of the world, a former amnesiac and a brocade perch fishman observed as their female friend listened to the SBS broadcast with an expression of sheer, unrestrained joy on her face.
"I was looking forward to him talking about this from the second he first mentioned fishmen," she whispered more to herself than anyone. "And I… I am not disappointed."
"I know that I must seem preachy or naïve or stupid to so many, I'm sure, but… honestly, the fact of the matter is that somebody has to say it. Somebody has to say this to everyone, all at once, and make them realize… make them realize that this has to end. This cycle of hatred, of revenge… if we keep grinding against each other, then one way or another, it's all gonna end in pain. As a wise man from my homeland once said, 'An eye for an eye shall make the whole world go blind.'"
There was a brief period of silence as Cross seemed to gather his thoughts, followed by him sighing heavily. "Look… my words are nice and all… but the fact is that this cycle, this hatred? It's never gonna end unless somebody does more than speak. It's not gonna end until someone… until a lot of someones extend their hands in friendship. In kindness. And this can't just be from one side, either. I know… I know that there are elements on Fishman Island doing the good work, fighting for the beautiful dream of peace and unity, but that's not enough. If we want peace, if we want the hatred to end on both sides, then we need to meet them halfway. Somebody has to take that first step… and hold out their hand."
Koala hiccuped tearfully as she cradled her own hand. She jumped slightly when a hand landed on her shoulder, but she smiled up at its owner when she recognized whose it was. Hack smiled back kindly as he gave a reassuring squeeze.
"And as much as quite a few people, and myself, if we're being honest, would like for it to be, that somebody is just not me. It can't be me. I've got a big voice, sure, but I can't speak for everyone. I can't speak for the fishman rescued from slavery. I can't speak for the human brutalized by fishman pirates. I don't know their stories, their experiences, not in that unique way only those who have experienced it do. It just doesn't have enough weight coming from me. I… ergh, I'm rambling a bit, but… look, the point is that whoever it is that takes that first step, it has to be someone who has heard both sides… no, not heard both sides. Someone who has heard and listened."
"So, Koala…" Sabo started lightly, slowly allowing his usual grin to slide back into place. "Are you still going to kick his ass when you meet him in person?"
Koala blinked as she mulled the thought over before folding her arms behind her head and adopting a mulish expression. "Most definitely. First I'm gonna give him the mother of all concussions with a palm straight to his skull!"
In spite of being behind her, neither Sabo nor Hack missed the soft grin that had grown on Koala's face, or the lines of water dripping from her eyes.
"And then…" she whispered. "I'm going to break every bone in his body with the mother of all hugs."
-o-
"Well, that's all I have to say on the matter for now. Now, on to more positive matters—!"
CLICK!
Sandersonia and Marigold jumped in shock as they were broken out of the miniature trance they'd been in. They were equally shocked by the sight of Hancock pressing her finger to the Transponder Snail's cradle, forcing it back to sleep.
"S-Sister, what—?" Sandersonia started to stammer.
"Quiet," Hancock ordered, her voice quiet but firm. "I need to think."
The Zoan-users promptly complied and allowed a tense silence to fill the air, interrupted only by Marguerite's labored, raspy breathing.
Hancock's head remained bowed for several minutes, and then she stepped towards her sisters, taking hold of Marguerite's chin and forcing her hanging head up so as to stare her in the eye. "What was your intention coming to ask us about our powers?" she asked, not in a cold voice, but rather a calm and measured one.
Marguerite swallowed, clearing her throat as she mustered the strength needed to speak. "I… I only wanted to understand better. You are the strongest and most beautiful warriors in all of Amazon Lily, and… I wanted to know w-why you would keep the true source of your m-magnificient powers a secret. I…" Marguerite trailed off as tears started to leak from her eyes. "I…In retrospect… it's so obvious… the reason you would lie… despite being so strong and so proud… it's something you're all ashamed of, isn't it? Something… Something horrible. And I…"
Sandersonia and Marigold glanced uncomfortably at each other as the Kuja started crying, and not from the pain either.
Marguerite shook her head with a sob. "I'm sorry… so sorry… I-I shouldn't have—! I should have realized—!"
The Kuja's babbling stopped abruptly as Hancock placed a hand on her cheek. Looking up at the empress, Marguerite saw that she was smiling warmly once again.
"It's alright," the Pirate Empress said softly. "I forgive you."
"ARE YOU—?!" the serpentine giants started to roar before Hancock silenced them with a raised hand. The Snake Princess refocused her attention on Marguerite and gently imposed her will on her. More than her meager—if relatively impressive—willpower could withstand, but not enough to utterly strike her down, instead gently sliding her into the realm of oblivion.
Hancock tossed her hair as she took a step back and looked up at her green-haired sibling. "Sonia," she stated firmly, her voice brooking no argument. "Take Marguerite to the nearest doctor. Inform her that she was caught in our training, that it was an accident and that she is not to be punished."
The anaconda hybrid still looked incredulous and a second away from mutiny, but nevertheless she ultimately transferred Marguerite from her tail to her arms and shot down the stands and into a corridor heading out of the arena.
Once she was gone, Marigold reverted to her human state and turned towards Hancock with just as much incredulity. "Sister, she knows. And it's already a pure miracle that no one else has realized it! What on earth are you thinking?"
Hancock refused to meet her gaze, staring at the ground as she spoke. "Tell me, Mari… Over the years, over the course of our rule over our home…" The Empress's hand strayed unbidden towards her back. "How many of their habits do you think we've adopted?"
"Wha—none, sister! We would never be like them!" Marigold responded fervently.
Hancock's lips quirked into a melancholy smile as she let out a dry chuckle. "Yes… That would once have been my answer, too… but in retrospect?" She slowly turned her gaze to stare at the Transponder Snail snoozing a few feet away. "Hatred for hatred's sake, judging the totality by the actions of the minority, unnecessary cruelty…" Hancock slowly sank onto one of the stadium's benches, a shaky smile spreading across her lips even as she cradled her face in her hand. "I now think that the answer would be 'too many.'"
Marigold opened her mouth to say something, to say anything to refute her sister's thoughts—then opened it even further as she realized that she just couldn't think of anything. "Oh… Oh, God…"
Hancock chuckled again as she nodded in agreement. "Indeed, indeed…" She lapsed into silence for a moment before speaking again. "You know what the worst part of all this is?" she said with a sad smile, tears streaming down her face all the while. "I'm actually going to have to concede to that old witch's demands and get some therapy. How… How pathetic is that?"
Marigold took that in before slowly shaking her head, a bitter smile on her own face. "Less pathetic than we would be if that loud-mouth hadn't started that show and we'd never realized our hypocrisy."
Hancock chuckled at that. Her chuckle slowly evolved into laughter, which evolved to take on a hysterical tone, and then devolved into sobs, at which point Marigold hastily enveloped her in a hug, letting her sister cry herself out as long as she needed.
-o-
"—and throw in a few cups of rubbing alcohol. After that, just let it stew for a few days and voila! You have a bottle of foolproof bugspray that reeks to high heaven! Fair warning, don't use this on covert ops unless you're heading somewhere that smells like hell, because you sure as heck will!"
"Apapapa! Now, that certainly sounds useful!" Apoo whispered as he leaned back into his seat, arms twisted into a comfortable position so that he could finish writing the recipe down. "Good for both pranks and to keep from getting bugbitten! It's a really nice change of subject after that heavy stuff earlier!"
"Hm… what else…" Cross mused before sighing wearily. "Ah, geeze, I shoulda planned things out better, I don't have any material! Hrm… oh, I know! How about I pass things off to Soundbite for some music, hm? To pass the time?"
"Sounds good to me! I GOT A GOOD SONG in mind!"
"Well, alright, then, let's do it! Allons-y!"
Apoo promptly shot out of in his chair and slammed a hand down next to his active Transponder Snail, grinning eagerly as his other hand snatched up the snail's mic, where it had been lying next to the snail proper. "Apapa!" he whispered to himself. "Finally, it's showtime!"
"Livin' on sponge cake,
Watchin' the sun bake;
All of those tourists covered with oil.
Strummin' my six-string on my front porch swing.
Smell those shrimp, hey, they're beginnin' to boi—!"
Apoo chose that point to take ahold of his lower jaw and twist, causing his mandible to spin and his teeth to grind together in such a way that they produced a staticky noise. The static traveled through his mic, across the connection that he'd established a few minutes prior, and then out of the mouths of every Transponder Snail in the world connected to the SBS, cutting Soundbite's music off and causing him to squawk in well-faked panic.
"WHAT THE heck?!"
"Huh?" Cross blinked in surprise. "What was that, Soundbite?"
"Not a clue! ALL OF a sudden it WAS LIKE SOMEONE WAS—!"
The long-arm-man twisted his jaw again, producing a longer and more wavery squawk of static.
"YEOW, THAT stung! WHAT THE HELL'S GOING O—!?"
Apoo twisted his jaw harshly a third and final time. Once he finished producing the electronic squeal, Apoo adopted a wide grin and belted out an eager cackle. "APAPAPA! Finally! After all that time searching, I've cracked your signal! Move over, Cross, the Roar of the Sea is taking over the SBS!"
"Wha—!? Wait, 'Roar of the—'! Hang on, I know you!" Cross barked in shock. "You're Apoo, aren't you!? Apoo, Long-Arm-Tribesman and Captain of the On-Air Pirates!"
"Apapapa! I take it my reputation precedes me, hm?" Apoo preened proudly.
"'Reputation'!?" Cross spat in a voice full of vitriol. "Hardly! You're just a 70 million blowhard who my captain could pick out of his teeth, with bad taste in music to boot! What the hell are you doing on my show!?"
Apoo hastily snapped a hand to his mouth in order to obscure his snicker before adopting a scowl and responding. "First of all, that's seventy-five million! Get it right, you no-bounty big mouth!"
"BIG MOUTH?" Soundbite roared. "YOU HAVE THE GALL TO CALL ANYONE BIG MOUTH?! THAT'S FUCKING RICH!"
"And second!" Apoo pressed on, ignoring Soundbite's taunt save for a withheld chuckle. "Tastes in music are exactly why I'm here! Ever since your dumbass snail started blaring that drivel it has the gall to call 'music', I knew that I had to get on to this show no matter the cost!"
"The hell are you on about, you incompetent excuse for a disc jockey!?"
It took all of Apoo's willpower to contort his mouth so that he was sporting a leer rather than a grin. "I'm saying that you and your slimeball of a snail's music sucks every inch of ass it can! It's absolute junk, total garbage that's an absolute waste of time to listen to! So, for the sake of audio everywhere and forever, I've been dedicating my skills to trying to hack onto your broadcast for one purpose and one purpose only!"
"And what the hell would that be?" Cross growled, his voice utterly dripping with contempt.
Apoo smirked deviously, and that was one emotion that he didn't need to fake. "Why, what else? To educate you on what music really is! Ladies and gentlemen of the world, I am truly happy to welcome you all to Scratchman Apoo's Music Hour!"
"APOO'S WHAT!?" Soundbite roared indignantly. "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR salt-addled mind!? I WOULDN'T VOMIT YOUR garbage if you FED ME A BOTTLE OF IPECAC!"
Apoo had to turn away in order to hide his silently laughing mouth, spending a solid minute pounding on the wall before turning back with a leer. "Yeah, well, you're going to spread it all across the world whether you like it or not, you Subpar Bullshit Spewers! APAPAPAPAPA!"
For a second, less than an instant, a smile flashed across the snail's face; Apoo was certain that he would have missed it if he wasn't already looking for it. The next instant, however, the snail was back to scowling furiously. "You wide-mouthed long-limbed degenerate piece of-!"
"Okay, I think we've all had heard enough of mister blowhard!" Apoo whistled innocently before twisting his jaw again, sending out another flurry of static.
"Hey wha—ZRRRK!—You ca—ZRRRK!—I'm gonna—ZRRRK!—rip your—ZRRRK!—and then—ZRRRRRRRK-CLICK!"
"Oh, dear, ladies and gentlemen! It appears that Jeremiah Cross and Soundbite have been disconnected. What a pity," Apoo drawled. "Now, as I was saying, let's get to Scratchman Apoo's Music Hour! Our first selection, a piece of music very near and dear to my people's hearts! Sit back, relax, and enjoy the sound of music not being pumped from a Sea King's bowels!"
And with that, the living instrument maestro began to play the Long-Arm Tribe's national anthem. And as he smiled and played, said maestro could only hope that his fellow musical friends were having half as much fun as he was.
-o-
"PFFHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAHA!" I alternately roared and wheezed, pounding my fist on the crate I was leaning over. "OH, MY GOD, THAT WAS HILARIOUS! PFFHAHAHAHA!"
"HOOHOOHOOHEEHEEHEEHAHAHA!" Soundbite cackled in agreement. "They actually think we hate each other! NO ONE HAS A CLUE!"
"We are evil bastards, EEEVIIIIIL! PFFHAHAHAHAAAAA!" I crowed ecstatically.
As Soundbite and I revelled in the genius of our ruse, I reran what, exactly, the ruse was in my head.
In essence, back on Skypiea, Soundbite, Apoo and I had collaborated to engineer a form of DJ feud. First, before I started the SBS, I called Apoo on Soundbite so that we had an open line running throughout the broadcast. Then, once I was good and ready, I spoke a predetermined buzzword to get Apoo's attention. Once that happened, he 'took over' my show and proceeded to strike up the mother of all radio-station feuds with me, trading insults and 'shutting down' Soundbite before deploying his own music. And this was just the start; in time, I'd 'learn to disrupt his disruption', and then we'd be giving a different meaning to 'fighting music'!
It was gonna be sooo much fun and I just couldn't wait!
Sadly enough, however, this particular session was coming to a close as I recognized the notes that indicated that the song Apoo was playing was coming to a close.
"A—hoo!—Alright, Soundbite, alright…" I wheezed as I reined my laughter back into control. "Showtime again, let's play it cool. Think you can keep the mirth out of my voice?"
"I'LL—HEEHEEHEE—I'LL NEED TO pull double-duty, but I'll try!" Soundbite snickered.
As we drew in gasps to calm ourselves down, Apoo finally brought his song to an end. "Well, that's my time, people! With any luck, I've fixed the damage those two dipshits have done to your musical palates! For now, I have to go, pirate business to handle, but don't worry! I'll be back whenever those pathetic excuses of 'entertainers' dare insult the good name of music! Apoo out, apapa!"
I had to cough out a few chuckles behind my fist before I managed to get some semblance of anger and indignation into my voice, which I managed with relative ease by thinking of Zoro's exercises. An electric click came over the connection, indicating that I was 'back in control'. "Triple-jointed menace…" I grumbled. "Alright, viewers, the good news is that the SBS is finally back under our righteous control. The bad news is that I am officially too burned out to bother continuing the show, and really, it's worn on enough as is. Well, at least I can satisfy myself knowing that I got the important stuff out of the way—"
"SPEAK FOR yourself!" Soundbite whined, seeming almost ready to cry. "I WANT MY MUSIC CORNER!"
"Mmph… well, we'll just have to make sure that this doesn't happen again," I sighed, trying to force being cut down and dropped hard to the deck to the forefront of my mind to mask my mirth. "Well, viewers, that'll be it for now. So, until next time, when maybe we won't have our introduction and our show stolen, this is Jeremiah Cross—"
"And Soundbite…"
"Of the SBS, signing off."
I hung up the transceiver… and promptly fell back on the ground laughing. It took another minute or so before I could bring myself to speak calmly.
"Hoo… ha… alright. Well, that was fun! So!" I clapped my hands as I sat up. "How long do you think we have left before we get to Water 7?"
"LAND HO!" came Usopp's excited voice from out on the deck.
"I guess not very long," Soundbite drawled in a deep masculine voice.
"Oh, come on, Soundbite, save Andre's voice for someone who deserves it," I scolded goodnaturedly.
"Fine, FINE."
Nodding, I picked him and the transceiver up and walked out the door before turning to climb the stairs. "Now then, let's get a look at our next destinatiooooooooh holy SHIT." I felt my jaw drop as I took in the sight before me.
"Ditto…" Soundbite nodded in awe.
It… It never really sank in until I saw it, you know? It was so… so obvious in retrospect. According to Tom, the shipwrights of Water 7 had had their mitts on the blueprints for Pluton for generations.
They'd had the blueprints for a weapon from the Blank Century for generations.
That meant that Water 7, like Alabasta, had been present since the Century.
Now, granted, the architecture had changed over the years on account of the island sinking and Aqua Laguna, but I only need to glance at the architecture of the island to know that its history was still alive and well.
How else could an entire city essentially be a fountain? A massive, singular love letter to the very element of water, gushing thousands of gallons of liquid - and I was probably seriously lowballing that number - thousands of feet into the air, all day every day without interruption. How else could there be doors built into the very infrastructure of the city big enough to fit two galleons side by side? How else could there be canals of water large enough to be rivers flowing down the slope of the city, sparsely interrupted by smaller offshoots winding through the blocks, like veins pulsing with the metropolis' lifeblood?
Water 7… it wasn't just any old Grand Line city. It was a living, breathing testament of resistance, its very existence a monument of defiance in the face of the World Government, Mother Nature, and their best efforts to bury the truth of what happened so many centuries ago!
It was, in a word, absolutely breathtaking.
I licked my lips as I finally got my mind working again. "Wow…" I breathed.
"You can say that again…" Soundbite whispered.
"Wow…" Conis repeated in my stead.
I blinked as her gasp brought me out of my own stupor, shooting her a grin. "The Grand Line never fails to impress, huh?"
A goofy grin slowly slid across Conis' face as she shook her head eagerly. "No. No, it does not."
"I am currently of the opinion that I love this mad ocean!" Su giggled as she waved her tail.
"I think I'm getting a hint of how Luffy feels about spoilers," Mikey mumbled in awe. "I wouldn't give up this feeling for the world."
"Are you kidding?" Raphey scoffed fervently. "Even if Cross had said that the island was a giant fountain, this wouldn't be any less amazing."
"I know exactly what you're talking about," Vivi giggled euphorically. "I've seen this island almost half a dozen times in my life, but I swear that every time is even more breathtaking than the last."
Sadly, as great as it was to observe the splendor of Water 7, the moment just couldn't last forever. Nami was the first to snap out of it, and she turned to me with a questioning look. "So, Cross, where should we dock?"
"Hmm…" I tapped my chin thoughtfully for a second before shrugging. "Eh, why not kill two birds with one stone? Let's circle around the island, the Franky House is on a peninsula, and we can—"
"That's not a good idea!" called a voice from beside the ship. A quick glance revealed an unremarkable boat inhabited by a middle-aged man with a fishing rod in his hand who'd drifted near us without us noticing.
"What do you mean, it's not a good idea?" Sanji asked curiously.
"I don't know what business you guys have with the Franky Family, but if you're going to approach their house, the only safe way is the front door," the fisherman replied grimly. "They've got booby traps out the wazoo to prevent attacks from the sea, plus those two King Bulls of theirs are monsters if they think you're a threat. I lost one of my better boats when I made the mistake of sailing into a keel-ripper they had submerged."
I grimaced and slapped a hand to my forehead. "Argh, right, that figures. They hunt pirates, they'd want to make sure that nobody with a grudge could just come up and blast their house to pieces with cannonfire." I clicked my tongue dispassionately. "Well, that's annoying. In that case, what's the best place for us to dock our ship so that we can get in contact with Galley-La and not get jumped by Marine or World Government stooges while we're away?"
"There's a cape that pirates always use, over that way!" the fisherman said, gesturing down the coast and away from the city proper. "Try and hide it from plain view if you can, those Government types really like to pry!"
"Don't have to tell us twice…" Vivi bit out acridly as she marched away to grab up a line of Merry's rigging.
"Oh, and one more thing!" the fisherman said quickly. "Do you know about Aqua Laguna?"
I processed that, and then my heart skipped a beat; I thought that the timeline was paused on Long Ring Long Land, but I forgot about that monster of a wave! If we missed it—!… Actually, if we missed it, we'd be better off for it, wouldn't we? "Yeah, what about it?" I called out to him, fighting to keep the hope out of my voice.
"Well, it's just that it's scheduled to come in tomorrow night or thereabouts, and it's predicted that it's going to be the biggest one in living history!"
I snapped my fingers with a curse. "So close!"
"What's Aqua Laguna?" Usopp asked in confusion.
"Oh, it's an annual tsunami that strikes the island like clockwork," Vivi explained casually as she pulled on Merry's lines. "It's common knowledge around here actu…al…ly…" she trailed off as she noticed how quiet things had gotten before spinning around and scowling at our accusatory looks. "Alright, in my defense, I have absolutely no reason to keep track of Water 7's tsunami schedule! Even if I had remembered it before now, how could I have possibly known that we would be arriving at the one time of the year that it would hit?"
"I'm sorry, have you even seen this crew!?" Su scoffed in disbelief.
Vivi opened her mouth to protest, and then shut it with a hiss of frustration.
"Well, either way, I suggest you kids rent a bunker for your ship sometime soon and then get some rooms on the upper level!" The fisherman indicated the higher parts of the city. "Be careful, or else the sea might swallow you whole!"
"We will, thanks!" Luffy waved gratefully as we sailed off.
A few minutes later, we were anchored off the coast of the cape he'd pointed out, and in the process of removing the bags of solid gold from storage, as well as the solid mass that we'd cut up and reforged throughout the ship. Usopp and Boss were in the process of forging the wealth into a rather hefty pile of ingots, while Nami ran calculations and the rest of us relaxed and waited for her final tally. We were all wiling away the time in our own way: Robin was reading, Conis was cleaning the arsenal she was sporting with Su's nimble help, and Chopper was messing around with a chemistry set with only a few mad mutters here and there.
Finally, Nami looked up from her books and glanced at me over the brim of the glasses that I was certain she didn't need. "Alright. Cross, the biggest thing for me to consider right now: how much is the new ship going to cost?"
I grimaced at both the answer I was going to give and the reminder of our circumstances, but my voice was firm. "The thing that set the Oro Jackson apart is that it was built out of the strongest wood in the world, the wood of the immortal Jewel Tree Adam. The stuff is outlawed now because of the fact that ships made from it are all but unkillable, but if you've got enough money, like we do, and the right contacts in the black market—"
"Like I'm guessing Franky does?" Donny guessed.
I snapped my fingers and pointed at the dugong before continuing. "—then you can find some of it for sale. Of course…" I swallowed as I built up my nerve. "As you can imagine, the illicit and valuable nature of the good makes it quite… expensive."
Nami was silent for a moment before folding her hands on the table, her eyes firmly shut. "… How much?"
I flinched back nervously. "… He used ฿200 million originally, but considering the size of our crew and how much gold we have available… I'd say we let him run with 500 and see what he comes back with?"
In an instant, everyone near me jerked away as though they were waiting for me to be struck by a meteor… or lightning. I couldn't blame them, seeing as I myself had thrown my arms up in defense.
However… Nami didn't react. Rather, she just stared at me over the brim of her glasses, not moving, not twitching, maybe not even breathing. Finally, however, she slowly slid her glasses off, clicked them shut, and pinched the bridge of her nose with a weary sigh. "Let me be perfectly clear here, Cross: you are so very lucky that we're far enough beyond any normal definition of rich that that amount of money barely makes a dent in our finances. Or else…"
"Got it, got it, never again without damn good reason, I swear…" I waved my hands placatingly before allowing myself a sigh of relief as she turned her attention back to the books.
"Alright, listen up," Nami ordered casually. "My initial estimate back on Skypiea was at least ฿2 billion. But after becoming more intimately familiar with our hoard—"
"Unhealthily so," Robin muttered with a slight twitch to her eye.
"—I've found that, even if the SBS hasn't increased the value of this particular gold through fame or infamy alone, we have approximately 50% more than I expected. After taking out ฿500 million for the new ship, and another 500 million to prove to Iceburg that we can deal, we're left with ฿2 billion. And as we… agreed on Skypiea, a full billion of that goes to the crew as a whole."
Grins all around.
"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," Nami groused as she shuffled her papers. "Now, while that means we can definitely afford some luxuries, we can't go overboard if we don't want to get back to the point where we barely have enough for Sanji's shopping list. So, the funds appropriated for this island are as follows. Chopper, Boss, you get five and a half million for your requests."
"Thanks, Nami!" Chopper said eagerly, while Boss merely pumped his fist.
"Conis, three million for your wardrobe."
"Thank you very much, Nami!" Conis smiled in glee.
"Sanji, ten million for food. Three million for Luffy, seven million for the rest of us."
"Ah, my thanks my most wonderful Nami-swan! I can finally shop without worrying too much about Luffy's stomach!" Sanji swooned happily, before shooting a glare at our obliviously grinning Captain. "At least until he gets his teeth on our meat, anyway. We're getting a lock on the fridge, right?"
"World-class, don't worry."
"Awww!"/"There is a god, and he is just!"
"And unless there are any more special requests, everyone else gets two million for spending money," Nami concluded, scanning over the group with a look that just dared anyone to speak up. Nobody did, either too cowed or too happy. "Alright. Obviously, most of that will have to wait until we've cashed in this gold, so for now, we split into three groups. Zoro, you stay here to guard the ship for now."
"Can do," Zoro saluted lazily as he leaned back and promptly fell asleep.
Nami rolled her eyes before nodding at me. "Sanji, Chopper, Robin, you'll take the cash that we have onboard now and get started with the necessary shopping. Everyone else is with me to trade in the gold, then we'll split up to meet with Iceburg and Franky."
"I'll be leading the latter group. Boss, I'll need you to come with me, you and Franky will get on like a house on fire the second you meet," I cut in.
"Oh?" The dugong master cocked a curious eyebrow. "How so?"
"You have…" I hesitated as I looked for the right word. "Similar attitudes."
That got a massive grin out of Boss. "Color me… interested."
"Right…" I trailed off uncomfortably as I contemplated what the hell I had set in motion before moving on. "Alright, besides that… Vivi, I may need your negotiating expertise in case he asks for more, and Conis… well." I gestured at the pile of wealth shining on the deck. "We're gonna be carrying around our weight in gold. Any objections to acting as our muscle?"
Our gunner nodded with a determined smile. "I won't let you down, I swear!"
"Alright, then!" Usopp suddenly crowed, leaping to his feet and pumping his fist in the air. "So it's settled! As of this moment, Operation 'Payday' is underway! Yeah!"
"YEAH!" the rest of us, even Nami and Robin—though she didn't cheer—pumped our fists in the air along with him. We revelled in the joy of the moment—!
Pssshhh…
Before a chemical hiss drew attention to the suddenly-bubbling chemical set lying at Chopper's feet.
The human-reindeer's pupils dilated as he took in the way the liquids were swapping color. "Uh-oh."
"'Uh-oh'!?" Soundbite squawked. "What's 'uh—'!?"
KER-SPLAT!
I stood veeery still as I processed what had just happened. Then, veeery slowly, I moved my hand up to my face and wiped off the poly-chromatic ooze that was covering my eyes, along with my… everything. A quick glance around at the rest of my crewmates revealed that they were all in much the same state.
"Before anyone can panic or say anything!" Chopper piped up hastily. "I promise you that this stuff is completely benign. And I'm fairly certain that it doesn't hurt paper either, so Nami, Robin, please don't skin me alive."
"We will take that into consideration, Mister Emergency Supplies," Robin droned frigidly.
"Right…" I trailed off uncomfortably before clearing my throat. "Alright, slight change of plans: first we change and get cleaned up, then we head out and begin the operation. All in favor?"
"Aye."
"Then we are agreed."
As most of the crew began filing inside and the dugongs jumped overboard, I took the opportunity to grab Chopper and pull him to the side, specifically out of Robin's line of sight. "I need to talk to you," I informed the diminutive doctor.
"Come on, Cross, I already said it was an accident and that I was sorry, isn't that enough!?" Chopper whined. "If this is about your clothes—!"
"This isn't even remotely about that," I cut him off, and my tone of voice immediately sobered the Zoan.
"What's wrong?" he asked, even having the good grace to lower his voice.
I glanced again in the direction Robin had gone to confirm she was gone before speaking. "When you go out shopping, I need you to stick to Robin like glue. Don't let her leave your sight, don't let her go anywhere alone, tag her with a scent marker if you have to, I don't care. Just make sure that you are completely aware of her at all times. Got it?"
Chopper frowned uncomfortably as he took in what I was saying. "Somebody's going to try and hurt Robin, aren't they?"
I grimaced and shook my head. "Honestly, that's a secondary priority. Right now, I'm more concerned with stopping Robin from hurting herself."
"What!?" Chopper squawked in disbelief. "B-But Robin said that she trusted us! Don't you trust her!?"
"I do, I do!" I hastily reassured him, only to grimace and wave my hand side to side. "To an extent, anyway. There are only two… three things in the world that are infinite, Chopper." I started counting down on my fingers. "The universe, Luffy's appetite… and human stupidity."
"Robin is one of the smartest people I know!" the Zoan protested incredulously.
"Up here, yes!" I said, tapping the side of my head. "But there are two kinds of stupidity in the world, Chopper. The stupidity up here…" I moved my finger down to tap my chest. "And the stupidity down here. And you know the lengths to which that kind of stupid can push us to, don't you."
Chopper winced as his hoof shot to his banded horn. "Low blow, Cross…" he growled before sighing in defeat. "But… I see your point. I'll be careful."
"Great. Oh, and Chopper!" I stopped him as he started to walk away. "Just… look, Robin's been doing this for years, and the people we're up against are professionals who were trained to do this their whole lives—!"
"What are you trying to say, Cross?"
I was uncomfortably silent for a second before hanging my head with a sigh. "If anything goes wrong… I want you to know that it's not your fault and we don't blame you."
Chopper silently stared at me for a few seconds before turning to face me completely. "I know that I don't really look like it, Cross, but I'm not a little kid. I won't break down over every little mistake I make all the time," he explained in a calm and mature tone. Then he smiled lightly. "But… thanks."
I returned his smile. "Anytime."
-o-
"Ergh…" I groaned as I peeled my shirt off and held it at arm's length. "This stuff might not be chemically toxic, but it sure as heck smells and feels it."
"BLECH!" Soundbite spat, sticking his tongue out in disgust.
"Want me to immolate that for you?" Lassoo requested, whining as he clamped his paws over his nose.
I tsk'ed and shook my head as I tossed the ruined article of clothing away. "Oh, how I wish, but the potential for flammability is too high for me to risk it. Once we're done here, this all goes overboard. For now, though…" I turned and started rummaging through the clothes I'd brought with me into the kitchen. "Let's see what's good for today…"
In the end, I settled fo simplicity: plain blue cargo jeans and a white t-shirt, covered by a white hoodie with the outline of a blue lobster stenciled onto the front, claws pointed upward. Aside from my differently-colored hat and headphones and, well, my armor, of course. And if we're being honest, that was actually nothing special for the Grand Line.
"How do I look?" I said as I spread my arms out and turned around to give them an eyeful.
"Honestly? Compared to what you usually wear, you look pretty bland," Lassoo deadpanned.
"SECONDED! Too plain!" Soundbite concurred.
"That's the point," I retorted, crossing my arms with a huff. "In case you missed it, there are a lot of people in the World Government who want me shut up forever, and this town just so happens to be a hop, step and a train ride away from their doorstep. If I catch the wrong person's eye here, I'll disappear into the shadows."
Soundbite promptly paled, while Lassoo scoffed…
"And seeing as you'll be latched onto my back when they grab me, you'll come along for the ride!"
And then winced and scratched the back of his head. "Point taken, sorry."
"Right. Now—"
I was cut off by a rapping noise coming from the kitchen's door.
"Excuse me, Cross, could I get your opinion on something?"
I blinked in surprise as what was unmistakably Robin's voice emitted from the other side of the door. "Huh? On what?" I called out.
"Oh, just my choice of attire is all," she informed me. "I'd ask the girls, but I'd rather a male's perspective, and you're the most well-adjusted member of the crew. Would you mind?"
I shot a flat look at Soundbite. "Why did that 'well-adjusted' sound more like 'average'?"
"Are ya really gonna protest WHAT YA KNOW TO BE TRUE?" he shot back.
I nodded, silently acknowledging the point, and turned to address Robin through the door. "Yeah, sure thing, come in."
The door swung open… aaaaaand I severely regretted my decision.
An ironic statement to make when the cause is a beautiful woman wearing only a too-thin t-shirt and frilly black panties walking through the door, no?
Soundbite was left speechless for once as his jaw struck the table, while Lassoo snickered into his paw. "Well, I've certainly missed seeing you pull this trick," he guffawed.
My eye twitched slightly as I looked her up and down before finally forcing the words out. "I am… severely conflicted."
Robin's eyebrow cocked in amused curiosity. "Oh? Are you saying that you're disappointed? You don't like what you see?"
I ground my teeth as I dug my nails into my upper arms. "The very opposite is one half of that conflict. On the other hand… I thought that you were done trying to kill me, Robin."
That made the archaeologist blink in surprise. "Oh? And how would this lead to that?"
I gestured flatly at my neck. "Because my flesh and bone is weak, whereas Sanji's feet are capable of denting iron."
Robin chuckled softly. "Be serious, Cross, Sanji wouldn't really… ah…" She trailed off as she caught sight of my paper-flat look. The statement hung unfinished in the air until she coughed in her fist and a hand appeared from the wall to close the door behind her. "Right, my apologies, I didn't quite think that through."
"And you have all of five seconds to explain just what 'that' was before I decide that this little incident is enough to justify doubling the payback that you've already built up," I growled, not taking my eyes off of her. Robin, for her part, only chuckled. "Oh, you don't get to laugh at me. Take a minute to remember exactly what I'm capable of, let alone my partner."
"MUHUHAHAHAHA!" Soundbite provided.
Robin's demeanor faltered slightly before she regained her cool, and her smile became more sincere. "Very well, but if I may rationalize my behavior: my life might have been a bit jilted, but I do believe older siblings embarrassing the life out of their younger ones is typical, no?"
I… honestly kind of froze as I processed that statement, a hurricane of emotions whirling in my head. Still, I was able to recover enough to cover my shock with a careless scoff. "Yeah, well, newsflash: this kind of juvenility is more typical of the younger. Now, you were saying?"
Robin chuckled and held her arm behind herself, accepting a bundle from an autonomous arm that pushed the door open slightly. "I was serious when I said I wanted your opinion on my attire. Here, take a look." She unrolled the bundle, displaying the outfit she was apparently planning to wear on the island.
The very, very form-fitting outfit she was planning on wearing.
I gave the one-piece a once-over before gracing Robin with a flat look. "Well, it certainly says something to me, though considering how the language of leather is one of few words, I don't think you wanna know what that 'something' is."
And it wasn't just the leather that made me say that. Honestly, I couldn't be surprised with what I saw considering how I'd been half expecting it, but still… a white, polka-dotted slip, a black leather dress with long sleeves, and black leather boots that reached to halfway up her thighs, leaving just about nothing to the imagination and sending a very… specific message. No doubt about it, it was definitely the same outfit she wore while she was held prisoner in Enies Lobby and, now that I thought about it, the one that she wore while still on Water 7 proper.
"So, that's your honest opinion, is it?" Robin asked casually.
"And I would lie why?" I scoffed.
"Perfect," Robin purred, several arms sprouting to help her put the outfit o—ah, damn.
I promptly turned to the side and held my hand to my face with a grimace. "You fight dirty, witch. You hear me? Dirty. And don't say—"
"Pi~ra~te," she crooned.
"…that," I grumbled with a roll of my eyes.
Soundbite, meanwhile, had an entirely different opinion to share. "HUBBA HUBBA! NOW THAT'S what I call a nice—ACK!" He was cut off by two hands grabbing his eyestalks and effectively blinding him. "SPOILSPORT! YOU WOULDN'T do this to CROSS and you're NOT DOING IT TO LASSOO!"
"I'm smart enough not to look," the dog-gun huffed as he covered his eyes with his foreleg.
"And Cross wouldn't blare it all out over the ship," Robin added.
"…fair enough."
I grumbled and tapped my foot impatiently as I waited for her to finish up. Come on, that thing was slim, but no way in hell was it that hard to put on! "Seriously, though, I understand why you were wearing clothes like this back when you worked for Baroque Works, but what's your motivation now?"
"Heh. Isn't it obvious, Cross?" I could hear the smirk in her voice. "Not all men are as strong-willed as you are. I predict many a lowered price thanks to this particular outfit."
I glanced upward with a tortured groan. "My kingdom for a few appropriate Bible verses that I could mutter about now…"
"Would you prefer Deuteronomy, LEVITICUS OR GENESIS?"
My eye twitched slightly as the words 'fire', 'brimstone', and 'Sodom and Gomorrah' flashed through my head before casting a glare down at Soundbite. "Learn to recognize sarcasm, slimestain."
"Only SU can call me THAT! You may address me as THE ANNOYING VOICE IN YOUR HEAD. And YOU need to learn to recognize SNARK!"
"Ever hear of a little thing called timing, you—?"
"Break it up before I bite you both," Lassoo ordered in a bored tone.
Soundbite and I gave one last snarl at each other before falling silent.
We were then joined by an airy chuckle coming from my generated blindspot. "Amusing as always you two. And for the record, I'm almost done. Would you mind zipping me up, Cross?"
I stared dead ahead with as I popped up my other hand's middle finger. "You are the last person I want to hear that line from."
"Can't blame a girl for trying." Once again, I could hear the smirk in her voice. I sighed in relief as the sound of a zipper… well, zipping sounded out. "I'm decent now, so hopefully I won't offend your fragile sensibilities. Now, your opinion, if you wouldn't mind?"
Grinding my teeth and fists, I turned back towards her. I thought that I was ready, but honestly, only the fact that she was smiling kept me from immediately flashing to her standing on the Tower of Justice, screaming that she wanted to die. I searched around for something matter-of-fact to remark on, anything to keep me from spilling right here and right now—and suddenly, a perfectly innocuous remark came to mind that, thinking about it, I was genuinely curious about.
"Huh, not bad," I whistled. "Just one question, if you don't mind."
"Oh?" Robin put her hand on her hip and cocked it out slightly. "And what would that be?"
"Well, what happened to your hats?"
…Wow, that made her freeze almost as bad as Ohara. "Ah…"
"You know, your cowboy hats?" I forged on in an effort to break the tension, gesturing at my own cap. "You wore one when we first met you, all through Alabasta, even on most of Skypiea. Why'd you lose them? I actually thought they looked pretty cool on you."
Robin remained stock still for a moment before turning away and coughing into her fist. "I… I wore those hats because I needed them. And now… I don't."
I frowned in confusion as I tried to puzzle out the deeper meaning that was clearly present in her words. "…What, for blocking out the sunlight or something?" My frown deepened as she merely shook her head. Just what was she talking abou—? I froze as I caught sight of the fact that her grip on her upper arms was white-knuckled and shaking vigorously. Was it something from her past? I thought hard about Ohara, but none of the scholars had anything to do with it, and the only other person she was close to was—
Ah. Well, I'm as thick as a dictionary, aren't I?
Moving very carefully, I stepped up behind Robin and landed a hand on her shoulder, wincing in response to her own reaction. "You know…" I started softly. "You don't just have to wear them when you need to be strong, you know? It's… It's alright to wear them because they remind you of him."
Several emotions flashed across Robin's face. She promptly shot her thumb to her mouth and started gnawing on the nail. "I-It's a strategic inconvenience. T-Too much chance of it getting caught o-or obscuring vision or—"
Right, the bullshit train comes to a halt now. I grabbed her shoulders and spun her around so that she was facing me dead on. "Robin," I enunciated, both kindly and firmly. "Jaguar D. Saul would be overjoyed to see you wearing that and we both know it."
I severely regretted my words at first when Robin's entire body promptly locked up, her eyes indicating that she was somewhere far from the Merry.
Seconds later, however, she was back, and after another round of emotions crossed over her face, she finally settled on a calm, almost serene smile.
"Thank you, Cross," she whispered. "It's not often that I act like a fool and… and I appreciate you pointing out this instance of it. Now, if you'll excuse me-" She extricated herself from my grip and started to walk towards the door. "I need to go and see if my wardrobe has anything that doesn't clash with my current selection."
I was prepared to let her go, just like that, when a pang of uncertainty struck me dead on. "Ah, Robin—!" I stepped forward, my hand raised, but I froze when she turned back to me with a curious expression.
"Yes, Cross?" she asked.
My jaw hung open as I searched for something, anything I could say to her… and in the end, I was forced to settle for coughing slightly as I straightened up. "You… You know we'd go to the mats for you…" I eyed her hesitantly. "Right?"
Robin blinked at me in confusion as she processed my statement. And then, then she smiled.
A real smile, an honest smile, a smile of belief and hope that shone throughout her, even in her eyes.
"Of course I do."
I didn't even hesitate to smile back.
-o-
"Demons…" I hissed grimly. "They're demons…"
"In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti!" Soundbite whimpered from within his shell, babbling Latin on and on in a half-demented tone.
The 'they' in question were Vivi and Nami, who were currently preening victoriously as they watched the employees of the Water 7 Gold Exchange bring out tray after tray of freshly liberated bills and stacked them cleanly and professionally in well-armored suitcases.
"Aye," agreed a scruffy, bearded pirate captain who was watching the display next to me. "I been sailin' these seas for well-nigh twenty years, and I've never seen the like."
The 'like' in this case had been the jaw-dropping display of two of our female crewmates positively browbeating the Exchange staff into giving us way more than fair compensation for the gold we'd acquired for them.
"Ta-da!" Nami purred as she hugged one of the filled suitcases. "3 and a half billion beris! Oooh, it's almost a shame that we have to spend it! Good job, Vivi! I think I'd kiss you if you weren't ready to punch me if I tried!"
"Oh, I can't take all the credit," Vivi primly replied as she patted one of the cases. "You were quite terrifying in there, after all, I was mostly just coasting off of the pure rage you were pumping out!"
"Oh, but your negotiating skills are so far above mine; a humble thief like me can't compare to a true royal," Nami shamelessly proclaimed.
"Okay, I'm stopping this before it gets any further and you two actually start making out," I interjected, shaking off the last of my terror. "Let's get this all loaded up and ready to go, guys." There was no answer, and I turned around. "Guys?"
I honestly should have expected this: Boss was staring at the two girls, quivering in either fear or excitement, possibly both, though the rest of the squad were quivering behind him in what was most definitely terror. Conis and Su had scrambled against a wall, trying to get as far away as possible, and the cloud fox had procured a rosary from… somewhere and was holding it out towards them, while Usopp mimicked her with a crucifix. And Carue and Luffy…
"What?" the duck asked, turning around from where he'd been kicking a ball with some kids. "Oh! Awe we done yet?"
"I hope so!" Luffy whined with a pout. "I wanna gooo!"
"Okay, the moron I get, but you're that used to it?" I deadpanned.
"Aftah wiving wit' her foah yeahs? You bettah bewieve i—!"
FWEEEEEET!
"AGH!" We all reeled in agony as Nami somehow managed to produce a hellish whistle worthy of Luffy himself.
"Alright, you idiots, listen up!" Nami barked as she patted one of the briefcases she and Vivi were flanking. "The division is ฿700 million in bills and the rest in validated ingots. The ingots are for wealth and show, and the bills are for spending. For the matter of this endeavor, both teams will be carrying two briefcases with them! The first!" She patted a very large and metal briefcase, three-feet by one-foot by two in area. "Contains ฿400 million in ingots, good to show off just how much wealth we have on us. Luffy, Boss, if you'd pick these up, please?"
The captain and the Dugong promptly walked up and grabbed the briefcases' handles—
CL-CLICK!
"GAH!"/"WHAT THE—!?"
And reeled in shock when Nami slapped cuffs on them.
"Safety measures," the navigator explained as she latched the other sides of the cuffs to the briefcases. "Because like it or not, you two are morons and not to be trusted."
"Ooooh, cool!" Luffy chuckled as he let the metal case swing from his arm like a pendulum.
Boss, meanwhile, rolled his eyes as he heaved the case onto his back with ease. "Whatever lets you sleep at night, missy."
"And the second," Nami continued, patting a much more normal-looking briefcase. "Contains ฿100 million in bills, to be used for immediate payment. Now then, considering your survival instincts… Cross?"
"Yeah, yeah," I said tiredly, extending my own arm. She clicked the cuff around my gauntlet and one of the briefcases, while cuffing the other to herself.
I tested the weight briefly. Heavyish, sure. Not light by any measure, but at least it wasn't too much of an inconvenience.
Nami then proceeded to direct our attention to the other five pairs of cases. "Now, as for the rest of this gold, it goes back to the Merry for now, to be stored and divided up. And considering that the fastest and most secure way back is through the water… GUARDS!"
The TDWS abruptly straightened and saluted. "YES MA'AM!" they barked in unison.
"Take the cases and swim back to the Merry. Load it onboard and then resume your responsibilities guarding the ship. And if you lose any of the gold along the way…"
Within moments, the cases were gone and only trails of bubbles indicated where the dugongs had vanished to as well.
Nami sniffed primly. "You've trained them well, Boss."
"Thank 'ye kindly," the dugong tipped his cigar with a smirk.
"Right. Now, then, let's saddle up and get going!" I declared as I hopped into the boat Lassoo was snoozing in.
"Right," Vivi nodded as she and Carue settled into their own vessel, while Conis took the third. "And remind me again what you call those accents?
"So, ya guys all ready to go?" the bull who was towing me and mine asked eagerly. "Just tell ol' Two-Fin Joey where ya wanna go and we'll getcha before you can say 'Galley-La?"
"Brooklyn," I grit out from behind the hand I had pressed to my face. "It's racist-as-shit Brooklyn."
"BE GLAD THAT THEY'RE amphibious enough that I can do anything AT ALL! 'Sides, they're a species of cabbies, WOULD YOU RATHER I'D USED UNIDENTIFIABLE MIDDLE-EASTERN ETHNICITIES!?"
"Grgrgggghrghhhh…"
"Ey, oh, relax, my friend, relax!" Joey chuckled casually. "As it is, we guys are just happy to be able to talk at all, along with the rest a' da bulls near yah little friend here! It's mighty convenient for business, it is!"
"Heh, I do what I can!"
"Yeah? Well, what you 'can' just got youse and yours some very powerful friends!" The bull's grin widened by several teeth. "Congratulations, you've got friends in the Union!"
I cocked an eyebrow curiously at the comment before shrugging it off, deciding to puzzle it out later. "Sounds great. I'd be a bit chattier usually, but right now, we're a bit pressed for time. Mind stepping on it so as to head for the quickest way to Franky House?"
"Ya mean Big Boss Gom an' Sod's home? No prob!" Joey nodded confidently as he turned his head back around. "Youse'll be there before ya know it!"
"Great!" I nodded thankfully before waving over my shoulder at the rest of our crewmates. "Good luck, guys!"
"You too!" Luffy waved back.
And with that, we were off, our Yagaras tugging us down water-logged street after water-logged street. I took the time to enjoy the truly exquisite scenery as we went, but in the process I noticed the tension present in my crewmates, who were constantly looking around for danger.
"Come on, guys, relax a little, will you?" I prompted with a chuckle. "Sure, we've got a lot of cash on us, but we've also got some damn good firepower on our side too. Currently nothing's gunning for us, so we might as well sit back and enjoy the ride, no? Observe!"
Deciding to lead by example, I leaned back as we approached a rounded a corner and started to approach a bridge, utilizing my briefcase as a makeshift pillow. It was almost like a lazy river, it was so relaxing. Ah, what a beautiful day.
The sun was shining…
Seagulls were cawing…
Clouds were drifting…
Miss Friday was eating water-water meat on the railing of that upcoming bridge…
…
Waaaaaaaaait a second.
I snapped up into a sitting position just as our bulls were entering the bridge's underpass and confirmed that yes, there was a buzzard perched on the structure's railing. She was clad in a pristine three-piece suit, a fedora and sunglasses and was serenely tearing away at a shank of meat she had in her talon. Not once did her reflective gaze leave my own until the bridge broke our line of sight.
"Sooooundbiiiiite?" I began in a very deliberately calm voice as I twisted my neck to watch behind us.
"One bird in a CITY, GOOD LUCK DIFFERENTIATING!" Soundbite squawked fearfully, having noticed the exact same issue.
"Cross, what's wrong?" Vivi asked in concern.
"Miss Friday just saw us into a killbox…" Lassoo growled, grinding his paws into his muzzle.
"It's THE UNLUCKIES THREE, The Revengening!" Soundbite snarled.
Vivi promptly paled in terror. "Shit."
"Precisely," I nodded grimly.
"The 'Unluckies'?" Conis asked in confusion.
"What's that, some kind of a wannabe rock group?" Su snarked.
"I wish," I snarled aggravatedly before snapping my fingers. "Joey, guys, fullstop, stay under the bridge."
The yagara twisted his head around to look at me in confusion as he and his friends complied. "What's up, bub? You'se know dat wrinkly featha'd thing?"
"You could say that," I growled irritably as I eyed the mouths of the bridge uncomfortably. Damn it, I needed to think… "Mr. 13 is an otter and Miss Friday is a vulture, and both are professional assassins. Soundbite and I managed to spark a vendetta a while back, and it appears that they're being more diligent than I thought in their efforts to kill the two of us before they retire. They're trained with guns and knives and they're no pushovers physically either; get in their way, and you're likely to wind up either maimed or dead. Any questions?"
"Yeah, just one," Lassoo raised his paw with a flat look.
"What?"
"We saw Miss Friday waiting for us outside… so where's Mr. 13?"
I tensed as I realized what he was saying. "Ah… that's…"
Soundbite blinked in surprise before whipping his eyestalks around curiously. "Hey, yeah, that's right! WHERE IS THE DAMN WATER—!"
Soundbite choked off in horror, and we slowly turned our gazes to look at each other, before sloooowly looking downwards.
A moment of silence.
Then…
"MERDA!"
I instantly snapped to the front of the boat and slapped my hand on Joey's back. "DEATH FROM BELOW, GOGOGO!"
It was a testament to the bull's experience that he didn't even question me, instead complying without hesitation and snapping from zero to sixty in half a second.
SPLASH!
Considering how Mr. 13, clad in his own somehow-pristine suit and fedora, suddenly exploded out of the water we'd been floating over a moment earlier, a spinning, rabid flurry of blades and violence that would have doubtlessly eviscerated us in seconds? He wasn't a second too slow.
Sadly, seeing as 13 started tearing after us a moment later when he made contact with the water, ripping through the surface as though it were paper? His reflexes weren't rusty either.
"CROSS!" Vivi called after us in concern.
"STICK TO THE PLAN!" I shouted back. "I'LL DRAW THEM OFF, YOU JUST KEEP GOING! I'LL SEE YOU AT FRANKY HOUSE!"
Within moments we were at the mouth of the overpass—
Where Friday suddenly swooped into view, wings flared and underslung machine guns trained on us.
Without missing a beat I jabbed my finger at her with a snarl. "CANI-BLAST!"
Lassoo dropped his jaw open and roared, sending a pillar of blazing air at the bird.
He missed, of course, on account of the vulture flapping her wings and nimbly dodging out of the way of the blast, but he at least managed to give us a long enough reprieve that Joey was able to hang a hard right and tear down a water-filled alleyway.
As we our mount churned up the water in an effort to escape, I took the time to glance back at our pursuers.
Miss Friday above, flapping after us and training her guns on us in hopes of squeezing off a shot, while Mr. 13 pursued below, ripping through the water at speeds equivalent to a cheetah.
Really, there was only one way to define this situation.
"Gentlemen," I announced grimly. "The hunt is on."
Patient AN: May it be that ye are wiser now, lest we surprise you again with something so very… farfetched, as the idea that we would ever make a normal chapter less than ten thousand words.
Xomniac AN: Also, just FYI, CV had to check out before he could run a total final check, so forgive any errors you see, we'll release an updated version once he's had his time.
Cross-Brain AN: And for those of you who are complaining about Omatsuri not being canon, we present a compromise in the form of the following epilogue omake:
Before she held out the papers in her hand, Kokoro paused thoughtfully and then spoke again. "By the way, I've been meaning to ask, and now that you're not all depressed about your ship…" She trailed off, clearly thinking over what she was going to say. "How are you holding up after Omatsuri?"
"What's Omatsuri?"
Kokoro turned to stare at Luffy. "You know, the island you just visited?"
"Wait, really?" Luffy said, tilting his head to the side. "I thought it was called Ling Ling Rong Island or something like that."
"That's Long Ring Long Island, Luffy," Nami reflexively corrected.
"Yeah, that!"
Kokoro blinked, still staring at Luffy. "You're saying you didn't go to Omatsuri Island?"
"Yeah!" Luffy replied, before tilting his head to the side. "Wait, what's Omatsuri Island again?"
"The one you just visited!"
"I don't remember that island," Luffy said. "What did we do on it, again? Because I don't remember that island."
"Yes, you said that already!" Kokoro snapped, her annoyance clearly growing.
"Captain," I interjected. As amusing as it was watching this, we did have a tight appointment to make. "Do you ever get nightmares?"
"What are those?"
"Well, that answers that," I said smugly. "I don't know why we all had the same nightmare a few days ago, but I'm gonna blame it on Grand Line weirdness and call it a day."
Kokoro looked around at the Strawhats as realization swept over her. "You… You're denying that anything happened to you. Do you actually think that that'll work!?"
We all glanced at one another before giving her a confused look. "Do we think what will work?"
Kokoro silently worked her jaw for several seconds. Ultimately, though, she just threw her hands up in exasperation. "Fine! A nightmare! Believe what you want!"
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The power of denial keeps our feet cool and wet.
- Location
- Philippines
Wait... The Unluckies... At Water 7... Wearing three piece suits... Sumbitches joined a certain civic service department didn't they?
Appletank
Acquire Cheese
.......goddammit.
At this point, might as well start calling the pair Terminators F-13 for how hard they're pursuing Cross: cannot be reasoned with, ridiculously durable, and won't stop doing everything in their power to make Cross dead.
SpokenSoftly
(Verified Fruity) (Potassiest Write-Tan)
- Location
- The nearest fruit bowl
You know? Even 5k words was awesome, and a good gut-punchy way to end a chapter. When most of the fanfics I read struggle to put out that much a month, it's more than enough.
But another 20k the day after? Upending my expectations and giving me new This Bites material to read two days in a row? I love you guys more than Nami loves gold right now.
But another 20k the day after? Upending my expectations and giving me new This Bites material to read two days in a row? I love you guys more than Nami loves gold right now.
The Fourth Monado
S U B A R A S H I I
- Location
- Away
Well.
They just don't give up, do they?
They just don't give up, do they?
einargs
Verified Spiller of the Egg Yolk
- Location
- The Egg Yolk, Outer Layer
- Pronouns
- They/Them
!
Huh. I can actually see that happening. Merry gets a devil fruit and joins the crew instead of dying,Course, that just means that Merry will then die after we think that she'll live, but... well.
Authors are assholes. 'Nuf said, really.
More than... more than Nami loves gold?
Given the way that the Cross-Brain's been writing Nami's obsession with gold, that's more than slightly creepy.
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edmantgoog
init high just high
if zoan she can be an animal on their new ship and a shipo with feet when on land
Appletank
Acquire Cheese
Next thing you know Cross starts a Kantai Collection
winkwinknudgenudgechucklechuckle
The Fourth Monado
S U B A R A S H I I
- Location
- Away
SpokenSoftly
(Verified Fruity) (Potassiest Write-Tan)
- Location
- The nearest fruit bowl
Canon Nami, not I've-been-dealing-with-five-times-the-risk-and-lunacy-and-have-gone-a-bit-funny-in-the-head Nami.
einargs
Verified Spiller of the Egg Yolk
- Location
- The Egg Yolk, Outer Layer
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Still... you sure you're all right? Because I'm sure we can stage an intervention if we have to.
Can't be that hard.
*Carefully represses memories of previous attempts*
Yeah. Those didn't happen at all.
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StriderAnarchy9
The KKV Your KKV Could Be Like
- Location
- Louisiana
The Strawhats are pretty good at forgetting things they don't want to remember. Check out Zoro for instance:
Martin the Clownfish boy and Lori the Blue Tang girl....
Really...
Really...
well at least we know now that the eventual sequel to This Bites! will be 20 years in the future and star Martin on his adventures to Find his son Remo.
Really...
Really...
well at least we know now that the eventual sequel to This Bites! will be 20 years in the future and star Martin on his adventures to Find his son Remo.
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