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This Bites! (One Piece SI)

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So I binge-read the entirety of One Piece to date just so I could properly appreciate this masterpiece (having previously drifted away around when Sabaody was new, and with crappy fanscans at the time).

It took me six months. :o

Then I finished the FF.net version of This Bites, and now I'm reading through this one just so I can throw you magnificent maniacs all the likes you deserve. (I may yet tackle Spacebattles as well, because re-reading is fun, reading the comments here has been fun, and MORE likes.)

I'll probably have more to say once I reach this point again properly (just landed in Navarone), but... Thank you, Cross-Brain, for blessing us with probably the best SI in any series I can recall.
 
I have read this story again. Still as awesome as ever. Chapter 61 will blow us out of the water. I think Law and Jewelry Bonney might might also join the Masons. I also think the next SBS will be glorious.
 
Okay then, observations on 60...

Triple paperwork won't help, because that damned fruit, that thing that exists only to cause suffering, the only fruit yet shown to truly deserve the name "Fruit of the Devil..."

...let me calm down a bit...

...its effect isn't one-and-done, it's continuous. Evidence doesn't matter. It'll be ignored. The best you can hope for is to be thought of as an obviously fictional figure.

Damn, the thought of what would... hell, I don't doubt that you will inflict it upon us, what will happen when that little horror converts Cross and Soundbite into action figures is horrifying. The whole world, in one fell swoop, forgetting the SBS and trying to rationalize all the knock-on effects...

...but of course I'm getting probably a decade ahead of myself. :(

Anyway! Closer to publishing... y'know, while memeing video of a World Noble getting creamed is fun? I'm hoping for a suitable prelude.

Just... follow one of the bastards, covertly, broadcasting every single thing he does live to the entire world. It shouldn't even take very long to make the point, because if any one of them who isn't a Donquixote white sheep can go five minutes without demonstrating their vile nature and absolute contempt for human morality I will buy a hat and eat it. (And of course there'll be Marines enforcing the monsters' twisted whims, also live and in color.)

...I may get too invested in things. :oops:
 
So I'm only about halfway in (which still makes this one of the longest fics I have read, certainly the longest SI fic) and while I'll wait with most of my comments and questions until I'm done, there's one thing I've been wondering about for a while and became even more important with Cross' speech about not killing in Water 7:
Did your SI get out of hand, or are you honestly of the opinion that it's less moral to kill someone than to break every bone in someone's body, capture them, and then visit them for daily torture sessions?

Edit: Just to be clear, while I would absolutely disagree, this is only meant as a question, not an accusation.
 
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Unseelie said:
So I'm only about halfway in (which still makes this one of the longest fics I have read, certainly the longest SI fic) and while I'll wait with most of my comments and questions until I'm done, there's one thing I've been wondering about for a while and became even more important with Cross' speech about not killing in Water 7:
Did your SI get out of hand, or are you honestly of the opinion that it's less moral to kill someone than to break every bone in someone's body, capture them, and then visit them for daily torture sessions?

Edit: Just to be clear, while I would absolutely disagree, this is only meant as a question, not an accusation.
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The SI got out of hand, and it's not a mistake that he or we will be making again. Our Watsonian explanation is this: it was Soundbite's idea, not Cross's. Immaturity combined with coming off of a situation where he was the difference between hundreds of people dying or not and someone stopped him from saving them...well, Cross wasn't really in much of a position to object, and wasn't expecting to ever see them again after Alabasta anyway.
 
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CV12Hornet OMAKE: THE THIS BITES! 2018 HALLOWEEN SPECIAL
  • Apocrypha
    • Ladies and gentlemen, I know it has been... quite some time since we last released a chapter. Rest assured, it is being written as we speak. In the meantime, though... it is All Hallow's Eve, is it not? Have a little something to... celebrate the occasion.

    I present to you: THE THIS BITES! 2018 HALLOWEEN SPECIAL

    ~o~
    ​
    I sighed, staring out to the horizon, my thoughts despondent and my mood listless. It wasn't what had happened over the last week that had me in a funk, not even- Nope! Not thinking about that monstrosity. Not even that thing that must not be named.

    No, it was what was waiting ahead of us. First, probably within the next few days, an island heralded by literal sea monkeys, and then… Water Seven. I could only pray that Robin was fully with the program by then, else we were in for the fight of our lives. Yes, we could probably handle that fight if it came to it, but it would be a hard, painful exercise that I'd much rather avoid.

    Then there was Merry, and anxiety over Ace and Blackbeard…

    Look, I'm not one for angst, but sometimes it just weighs on a guy, y'know? It would pass, eventually, but for now it needed to be suffered.

    "SO, do I need to play you A SAD SONG on the world's smallest VIOLIN?"

    Clearly not soon enough for the slimeball riding shotgun on my shoulder, naturally.

    "Ah, shut it," I groused, though the familiar back and forth tugged at my lips.

    "Or maybe SOME LINKIN PARK WOULD BE more your speed," Soundbite continued.

    "I swear to God, if you start blaring 'Crawling' in my ear I'm going to hand you over to Sanji and his deep-fat fryer," I responded without any heat. The tug had won out, though, pulling my face into a smile.

    "THERE WE GO! THAT'S THE Cross I CAN BANTER with! ANYWAY, I HAVE SOME BATTLE TAUNTS I THINK YOU MIGHT-"

    "Hold that thought," I interrupted, shading my eyes to get a better look at the horizon. There was something there, something…

    "LAND HO! … I think."

    That set off a commotion on the deck behind me, everyone dropping what they were doing - often literally - and scrambling to the side railing.

    THUNK!

    Even Zoro, in the middle of his training, joined us, his training weights rocking the whole ship and earning him a glare from several of us.

    "Where, where?!" Luffy eagerly asked from the crow's nest. "I don't see any- whoa!"

    Usopp glared at his captain as Luffy fell onto the deck, having just stood up and chucked him off. "Well, maybe if you could let me actually look instead of-"

    "Yup, island," Nami interrupted with her spyglass pressed to her eye, prompting Usopp to slump over in despair. Further down the line, I could see Conis lean in to Vivi and whisper something in her ear.

    "Does this usually happen?"

    "What, the Luffy thing or the Nami thing?"

    "Yes."

    "Yes."

    Didn't even have to think about it this time!

    "I assume I'll need to prepare some pirate lunches?" Sanji piped up, taking a deep draw of his cigarette.

    "Maybe, maybe not," Nami said vaguely as she stowed her spyglass and pulled up the Log Pose. From my position, I could see the needle pointing… well, nowhere near the island we'd just spotted. "Yeah, Log Pose isn't pointing to it."

    And it definitely wasn't Long Ring Long, not without those Sea Monkeys. I hope.

    "Ohhhh, so it's a mystery island," Luffy stated, before his eyes suddenly lit up. "Yeah! Even better! Let'sgolet'sgolet'sgo!"

    "But why isn't the Log Pose pointing to it?" Nami muttered.

    "Yeah, I've suddenly got 'I-Don't-Want-To-Go-To-This-Island Disease!'" Usopp added, frowning. "Which is weird, 'cause I thought I'd licked that."

    "That's not a real thing, right?" I heard Mikey ask, followed shortly by a thwap of flesh on flesh.

    "Yeah, but we can see it, so we can just sail over there, right?" Luffy pointed out, bouncing in place. "C'mon, I wanna go! Mystery island, mystery island!"

    "Captain's orders, then," Nami sighed indulgently. "If someone could steer us towards that island-"

    "I'm on it," Zoro grunted, only to have his movement arrested by Nami's hand grabbing his collar. "GACK!"

    Letting go and leaving Zoro gagging on the deck, Nami marched towards the whipstaff. "Never mind, I'll do it."

    The minute she was out of sight, Sanji trailing shortly behind her, Luffy turned an eager grin on the rest of the crew. "So? Who wants to go explore the mystery island?!"

    "To set foot on virgin shores, to explore uncharted islands, braving the dangers within…" Boss breathed reverentially. "Truly, that is a Man's Romance!"

    "GO, BOSS, GO!"

    "Sadly, we won't be going."

    You could hear the record needle scratch, even before Soundbite helpfully supplied the sound effect. All four of the TDWS looked like they'd just seen Boss grow a second head. Actually, scratch that, a second head probably wouldn't have gotten such a poleaxed reaction.

    "Someone must stay behind on the ship in case the shore party runs into trouble," Boss explained, puffing out a cloud of smoke that was somehow mournful. "Besides, to come to the aid of your friends in their time of need… that, too, is a Man's Romance!"

    "'Kay…" Leo tepidly responded. Donny sighed, Raphey looked away, grumbling, and Mikey just looked poleaxed, still.

    "We'll work on it," Boss said, waving his flipper. "Sorry, I seem to have taken all the attention. What about everyone else?"

    "I think I'll join," Robin said from right behind me! Jesus, definitely an assassin! "Perhaps there will be nothing, but the mere possibility of undiscovered ruins is fascinating."

    "I'll go too!" Conis added. "It sounds fun!"

    "Ah, this is bringing back memories of Little Garden," Vivi mused. "The good ones, mind you, before we had to start running for our lives."

    "You'd bettah be wight..." Carue muttered, clearly resigned to exploring.

    "Adventure!" Chopper cheered.

    "And you're coming too, right, Usopp?" Luffy asked eagerly.

    Faced with his captain's excitement, Usopp could only sigh and shake his head. "Yeah, fine," he said, a grin quirking onto his lips. "Who knows? It might even be fun."

    "Well, someone needs to babysit you all," I chimed in, to a chorus of snickers from Soundbite and Su.

    And that decided things. Zoro, Sanji, Nami, Lassoo, and the Dugongs would be staying, and the rest of us would be heading ashore. It would be a great time, exploring this unknown island.

    So why did I have this sudden pit in my stomach?

    ~o~​

    For the first hour or so of exploring, after we went ashore, we found nothing particularly interesting. Some colorful species of bird, and there was the hilarious sight of Luffy stumbling over some ripe durians, but otherwise it seemed like a pretty standard tropical island.

    But then we reached the other side of the island.

    Now that was a spectacular sight. From our position on a ridge overlooking a circular, partially-enclosed lagoon, we could see down into what looked like giant caltrops rising from the lagoon bottom, too regular and even to be natural. These spikes radiated out from the island's central mountain, and if you squinted, you could maybe see something like a cave and stairs leading up to it under the sprawling vegetation.

    "Usopp?" I prompted.

    "On it," the sniper said, sliding his goggles into place. "Hmm… yeah, those are stairs leading up the mountain, though they're pretty weathered. And… oh-ho, that's not just a cave! I think those are stone doors there!"

    "Mystery cave!" Luffy whooped, before taking off. "Mystery cave!" Chopper chorused, following after.

    Sighing and grinning indulgently, we all followed. "Y'know, this is pretty tame for a Straw Hat island adventure," I remarked.

    "Teww me ahbout id," Carue grumbled. "Fweakin' Wittle Garden…"

    "Little Garden?" Conis wondered.

    "Don't ask," Vivi, Usopp, and I all grumbled.

    Robin smiled a little wider. "Someday, I am going to get that full story. I'm sure it's spectacular."

    The conversation lapsed after that as we climbed up the stairs, mostly because nobody had anything to say. Though I will admit, Robin, Vivi, and I were flagging just a tad when we got to the cave entrance, the outer doors pried open. And immediately, one detail leapt out at us.

    "Those aren't stone," Usopp observed.

    "No, it's metal," Robin observed, coming up to touch it. "And it's not steel. No steel would have lasted this long in a jungle environment."

    Frowning, I stepped up and gave the doors an experimental swing. They were surprisingly light, swinging with an ease that you couldn't get with just good hinges, and I said as much.

    Robin's smile shifted, becoming that small bit more genuine. "Yes, this is exactly what I was hoping for." And with that, she entered the chamber beyond, the rest of us trailing after her.

    Immediately, we all stopped and gasped. Or we would have, if it was actually impressive. Instead, it was a bare stone hallway, slabs of granite that looked for all the world like message kiosks from back home sprouting from the floor at regular intervals, set just away from each wall. Robin was significantly more impressed, reverently reaching up to touch one of the walls.

    "This is concrete, not carved stone," she breathed. My eyes widened slightly; I hadn't seen a lick of concrete since arriving in the One Piece world! "But how? This whole site is centuries old."

    "And concrete isn't," Vivi finished. So it was a thing, then. Question for later. "Maybe it's pre-Void Century?"

    "Then why hasn't the World Government found it and ground it into dust?"

    We had no answer for that, and thankfully, Chopper provided an excellent distraction by running up to us in reindeer form with a torch in his mouth. Transferring it to a hoof, he swapped to Heavy Point.

    "Hey, Luffy and I found a door further down!" he eagerly reported. "It's shut, but Luffy thinks he can get it open!"

    "That… sounds like a very bad idea," I pointed out, getting an enthusiastic nod from Conis. Clearly, she remembered the journey through Upper Yard.

    "Eh, it should be fine," Robin said, waving off our concerns. "These ancient temple sites aren't dangerous unless someone is maintaining them, as was the case on Skypiea, and this island has been uninhabited for a very long time."

    The pit in my stomach picked that moment to remind me of its existence, and I attempted to argue the point. "But-!"

    "So that means we can open it, right?!" Chopper eagerly interrupted, full of honest enthusiasm I was loathe to quash.

    "Yes, Doctor," Robin replied, smiling sunnily. And there was the other half of why I was reluctant to anything more.

    "Woo!" Chopper cheered, before turning to the rest of us. "You guys coming?"

    "Of course!" Conis chirped, her concerns apparently gone.

    "Eh, what the heck. If Robin says it's safe…"

    "Definitely."

    "But it's so dawk…"

    "Eh, I'll stay, see if Robin finds anything," I replied, forcing some joviality in my tone.

    In reality, I had an urge to hightail it out of here joining the pit in my stomach. I'm not sure why. Maybe the starkly artificial and utilitarian construction of the place. Maybe the juxtaposition of modern building materials and plainly ancient age.

    Or maybe, I mused as I watched Chopper's torch get swallowed by the inky blackness deeper within the cave, there was something more sinister at work.

    "ANYONE ELSE getting the heeby-jeebies?" Soundbite muttered.

    "Yeah…"

    Glancing down at one of the "kiosks", I noted that something had been carved into it. It looked like writing, though nothing I even recognized. A click, and I saw a light bloom out the corner of my eye, which turned out to be Robin holding up a lighter of some kind and examining another "kiosk".

    "Can you read that?" I asked.

    "No, I'm afraid not," Robin replied, frustration leaking into her voice. "And I thought I could at least recognize every language in the world."

    "You keep looking, I WANNA TRY SOMETHING," Soundbite said, closing his eyes.

    After a minute or so of nothing, I walked up to Robin. "So, what do you think it says?" I asked as casually as I could.

    "If I didn't know any better, I'd say it would be one of those generic "Do not disturb or I will curse you!" warnings you often find in ancient tombs and temples," Robin answered, frowning. "And yet… something is telling me that that's not what it says."

    Well, that was distinctly unhelpful. Robin stood and moved on, further down the line, each kiosk just as unintelligible as the last. And there were dozens, no, hundreds of the damn things, each exactly the same. By this time, we were well away from the light from the entrance, so we were relying entirely on torchlight. Where the actual torches had come from was a mystery, but neither of us were willing to question it.

    And then, suddenly, the kiosks went blank. Despite that, they still stretched on deeper in.

    "Oh, that can't be good," I muttered.

    "Indeed."

    Turning, Robin and I crossed the hall to the other side. The kiosks cut off there, too, but there was one more with writing.

    And it was writing we both recognized.

    "The Void Language…" Robin breathed, fingers tracing the carved words. Then, suddenly, her eyes widened. "These carvings… they're younger than the rest!"

    "What?!" I yelped, but I had no time to process that bombshell any further before Soundbite shot his eyes opened and start blaring like a goddamn siren.

    "DANGER! DANGER! Cross, we gotta get out of here, now!"

    "Soundbite, what are you-!"

    "Cross."

    As I got a good look at Robin's expression, the words died in my throat, threatening to choke me. In what was probably the day's scariest thing, Robin looked not just frightened, or despairing, but outright freaked out. Even when I'd name-dropped Ohara she didn't look this close to losing control. And that was incredibly scary.

    "I don't know whether this is a curse, a disease, or outright magic," she breathed. "We need to collect the others, and leave. Now."

    Now, that I could agree with! "Soundbite, call Luffy and-"

    "Too late…" he whimpered.

    And then we saw it. A weak light in the distance, slowly coming towards us, and a quiet shuffling sound. Robin and I glanced at each other, an entire debate passing back and forth, and then we sprinted for the light.

    "Luffy?" I called out. "Luffy, is that-?"

    I nearly tripped over myself. That was how fast I came to a screeching halt. Robin, too, stopped just as fast, her eyes wide and mouth open and breathing shallow.

    After all, it wasn't every day you saw Luffy, visibly sick as a dog, carrying Chopper, Conis, Usopp, Vivi, and Carue on his back, with a torch in his mouth. Well. At least until he spit it out, letting it clatter against the floor.

    "Hey Cross," he rasped weakly. "I think I messed up. Just… promise me you'll close the door, okay?"

    "Luffy, what are you saying?" I breathed.

    "Promise me…"

    "Luffy…"

    "Promise me!"

    I started at the heat in his voice. "I-I promise."

    "Good…" he said, grinning his sunny grin… before collapsing flat on his face.

    For a moment, I could only stare in horror. And then, I veritably screamed at Soundbite.

    "Soundbite, call-!"

    "ALREADY ON IT!"

    ~o~​

    I staggered out of the cabin we'd turned into an impromptu sickbay, and slumped against the wall, exhausted and miserable and well past caring about the vomit stains on my clothes. Instead, I slowly went over the symptoms again. Massive diarrhea. Fever. Complete delirium. It sounded, on first blush, like my bout with Primal Cholera. But Primal Cholera didn't cause vomiting. It didn't cause the weird purple rash spreading across their skin. And it definitely, definitely didn't cause your hair to fall out in clumps.

    The worst part, though? In his moments of lucidity, Chopper had tried his damnedest to diagnose what was wrong with everyone, and had come up blank. Chopper. Came up blank. And if Chopper was coming up blank, that meant Kureha didn't know what this was.

    Needless to say, that scared the spit out of me.

    The one piece of good news was that whatever this was, it wasn't contagious. The healthy members of the crew had gotten covered in enough fluids that, with the ultra-fast incubation period, we should've been right there with them by now. But we weren't. Silver linings.

    The door opened, and glanced up to see Robin stagger out, in much the same condition as me. "Are they…?" I asked.

    "Stable… somewhat," she answered wearily. "But they're weakening at alarming speed. Even Luffy."

    That… no. Luffy would pull through this. He had to. He had to.

    Right?

    "Robin?" I croaked. "What was written on that last… kiosk thing? The one in the void language? Maybe it has a clue."

    "I suppose it couldn't hurt," she sighed. "It said, 'You should not have come here. This is not a place of honor'..."

    Whatever the rest she said, I didn't hear it. I couldn't. I could only just sit there. Staring. Mouth gaping. Repeating two words, over and over.

    'That's impossible. That's impossible, that's impossible, that'simpossiblethat'simpossiblethat'simpossble-'

    And yet it fit. The teeth in the lagoon. The messages, carved on the kiosks. Hair, falling out in clumps, and vomiting. It was the only answer.

    Except it was impossible.

    "Cross?"

    It was impossible. But this was the Grand Line. One Piece. Impossible was just a word small-minded fools used to make themselves feel better about what they couldn't explain.

    "Cross!"

    This was not something I couldn't explain. No matter how much I wished otherwise.

    "CROSS!"

    I blinked. Somehow, Robin had gotten right up in my face, eyes wide and blinking. "You know something," she breathed.

    I did, yeah. But I didn't know what to do with that knowledge. I-I'm not doctor, I couldn't-

    "Robin, go get Nami and Zoro," Soundbite said, voice devoid of his usual clip style. "Cross, I know this is hard, but I need you to lead those two to the entrance so they can close it up."

    I blinked again. And then… and then I stood up. Yeah. Yeah, this was something I could do. Even if it was opened again in a thousand years… that was a thousand years of no one else-

    I cut off that line of thought.

    ~o~

    I still had vomit on my clothes. I was also still well past caring.

    Nami and Zoro had been… difficult to pry away from caring for our crewmates, but the minute I revealed that it was to close up the cave, Sanji practically kicked them out himself. We had then trekked back to the cave, and walked all the way to the closest blank kiosk to the entrance.

    Even in the dark, none of us could resist staring down the darkness that covered the vault deeper within.

    "So, this is the place?" Nami asked, her voice somber. She'd been subdued ever since she came down off the high of helping our sick crewmates.

    "Yeah," I said.

    "Let's get this over with," Zoro grunted.

    Zoro… outwardly, Zoro was his usual gruff, stoic self. But I was familiar enough with all his little microtells that I knew he was flatly itching to chop something, anything up. Preferably whatever was responsible for this situation

    "Alright," I sighed. "Zoro, I'm going to write words on one of those stone kiosks. It's a warning. I need you to actually carve it in."

    "On it."

    "And then, after that… we need to close that door. Nami, you need to make as thick a layer of iron cloud as you can manage. Use that to shut it."

    Nami snapped her Eisen Clima-Tact into place, the iron cloud flowing around her. "So, it's blocked by water, then. Probably lots."

    I opened my mouth, and then closed it, nodding. It was either that, or sounding like a broken squeaky toy.

    "What Zoro said." And with that, the Iron Cloud wrapped her in a cocoon, and she set off down the hall.

    Zoro immediately drew Kitetsu, and in one slash and a muttered "Three-Sword Style Burst: Five Sense Ravager" carved the words I needed.

    "Y'think anyone'll listen?" he wondered.

    "Probably not," I admitted. "But we need to try, even if there's only the slimmest chance."

    So saying, I read over those fateful words Robin had translated, one last time.

    You should not have come here.

    This is not a place of honor. No great deed is commemorated here. Nothing of value is here.

    What is here is dangerous and repulsive.

    We considered ourselves a powerful culture. We harnessed the hidden fire, and used it for our own purposes.

    Then we saw the fire could burn within living things, unnoticed until it destroyed them.

    And we were afraid.

    We built great tombs to hold the fire for one hundred thousand years, after which it would no longer kill.

    If this place is opened, the fire will not be isolated from the world, and we will have failed to protect you.

    Leave this place and never come back.

    Footsteps alerted us to Nami's return. "How are you feeling?" I asked.

    "I think I'm… numb," she said, glancing furtively back at the closed door. "Ask me again in a day or two."

    I nodded. "Then let's get out of here, and off this damn island."
     
  • Apocrypha
    • CV12Hornet said:
    I staggered out of the cabin we'd turned into an impromptu sickbay, and slumped against the wall, exhausted and miserable and well past caring about the vomit stains on my clothes. Instead, I slowly went over the symptoms again. Massive diarrhea. Fever. Complete delirium. It sounded, on first blush, like my bout with Primal Cholera. But Primal Cholera didn't cause vomiting. It didn't cause the weird purple rash spreading across their skin. And it definitely, definitely didn't cause your hair to fall out in clumps.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    Well, that -sounds- like radiation poisoning.
    CV12Hornet said:
    You should not have come here.

    This is not a place of honor. No great deed is commemorated here. Nothing of value is here.

    What is here is dangerous and repulsive.

    We considered ourselves a powerful culture. We harnessed the hidden fire, and used it for our own purposes.

    Then we saw the fire could burn within living things, unnoticed until it destroyed them.

    And we were afraid.

    We built great tombs to hold the fire for one hundred thousand years, after which it would no longer kill.

    If this place is opened, the fire will not be isolated from the world, and we will have failed to protect you.

    Leave this place and never come back.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    I have no idea what this is from.

    *looks it up*

    Oh...Well shit.
     
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    Chapter 61 - Road to Sabaody Pt. 3
  • Threadmarks
    • Chapter 61​

    Cross-Brain AN: We've kept you all waiting for this, we know; real life tends to impede free time and inspiration, and there's only so much we can do on our own. On a related subject, please see the author's note at the end of this chapter.

    "Hmm? Why am I under her care, you ask? I don't mind if I share. Keimi's clams, you see, always go right to me!"

    "So it's for the food."

    "W-Well, that's not entirely—!"

    "Oh, oh! And what about how you can speak? We've never seen an animal do that without Soundbite's help before!"

    "Ah! Well, that's actually quite the tale indeed! Ohhh~—!"

    "Reasoning: hitode = 'starfish', hito desu = 'I am human'. CONCLUSION: HE LEARNED TO TALK PURELY BECAUSE OF A PUN. PUBLISHER'S NOTE: HOW PATHETIC CAN YOU GET?"

    "BITE ME, LAND-SLUG, AT LEAST I CAN SWIM!"

    "YOU WANNA GO!?"

    "What is it with the slimy ones having the biggest mouths…?" I groaned despondently, letting my head thunk back on the barrel I was leaning against, the literally spineless blobs continuing to argue on the counter of the pavilion. Because seriously, I just did not have the energy to deal with him standing upright.

    "I know, right?" Hachi chuckled empathetically; his hands continued their work, prepping his cooking tools. "He's gotten us in quite a bit of trouble with it."

    "QUIET, LIMB-SLAVES!" said invertebrates barked in a rare show of cooperation.

    "And furthermore, NEVER UNDERESTIMATE WILLPOWER!" Pappug pridefully added. "THE WORLD RUNS ON IT!"

    "The starfish does have a point there…" I admitted before slamming my head back against the barrel and clutching the sides of my head. "'The starfish has a point'... This is not how I envisioned adulthood."

    "No, really?" over half the crew demanded from all across the ship.

    Aaanyway… as you can see, the atmosphere on the Thousand Sunny had very quickly returned to its usual casualness once we set off for the Florian Triangle. And while the newly mobile slice of Lovecraft-on-Grand-Blue had apparently relocated itself over the past few weeks so that it was far closer to the Red Line than before, we still were unlikely to arrive before nightfall. Which, of course, gave Soundbite and me plenty of time to plan out things we could do upon meeting the other Supernovas. I'd probably only be able to pull off truly wowing a handful of the ones I didn't already know, but it was still going to be a hell of a good time.

    There… really wasn't much to say beyond that. I mean, there's only so many times that I can describe what we get up to on the Grand Line before it gets tedious. Even the fact that we had five other ships (sort of, given two of them were small enough that we could shove them into a storage area in the Takoyaki 8) beside us didn't change a lot; the Barto Club had been with us for a month already, and everyone else was shut away in their own ships. Especially so for Takoyaki 8, seeing as those two were doing the smart thing and not shown fin or scale of their sorry hides.

    So, a boring, casual (but not normal) day sailing on the Sunny. And… I glanced at the sun; we'd just passed the one hour mark, so that could only mean one thing.

    "Are we there yet?"

    Luffy asking whether or not we were there yet. And any other time, that'd be the end of it. But since this was the fifth time he'd asked that question in as many hours?

    "RAGH!" KER-CHOW!

    That made this the time when Nami's temper went nuclear and she attempted to deep-fry our dumbass of a captain in the clutches of her Eisen Tempo.

    See, I don't get why people call our crew insane, we're really quite regimented.

    "No, we are not there yet, you brainless twerp!" Nami snarled, wringing Luffy's neck with her meteorological halo. Though, unlike usual, her ire didn't stay long on our captain since our navigational tool could actually talk back this time and made for a more sporting target. "And you! You've been saying we were almost there for hours! Either retract the statement or produce an island. Or else I swear—!"

    "Even normal Grand Line geography can't be considered an 'exact science'. And Skelter Bite moves, so forgive me for being a bit off in my estimate this time," Coo said dismissively, utterly ignoring the meteorological ire being aimed at him. "And I'm not that far off, anyway. It should be… just around…" Coo's head shot up, a beak-stretching smile on it. "There! I see it!"

    Coo's cry whatever attention on deck hadn't already been drawn by Nami and Luffy's little 'tiff'. Nami was quick to strain her eyes and senses in the direction Coo indicated, with Usopp and Conis only a breath behind her.

    "Let's see… oh, yes!" Conis said happily. "Dark purple mist on the horizon! We should be there within the hour!"

    "Wait, dark purple?" I said. "I thought that the mists were gold now."

    "For the most part, sure," Coo answered. "But if the Obelisks kept the outside looking that inviting, it wouldn't make a great sanctuary, would it? Outside's as scary as usual, so only anyone brave or stupid enough to go in singing that song get through to the gold. You can't get any deeper inside otherwise, and any attempts to do so…" The bird winced and tipped his cap down. "Well, you sailed in the place first."

    Nami hissed out a sharp breath before glancing back at Coo. "And how deep into those mists is Skelter Bite going to be?"

    "Not too far as long as you know where you're going. Once the vanguard sees us through, it'll only be a few minutes."

    Nami nodded, her shoulders lowering in a release of tension. Sanji practically materialized beside her, offering her a drink that she took and practically chugged down. "Alright. In that case, it's time to double-time it. Franky, Merry, Vivi?"

    "Right!" Franky and Merry cheered, while Vivi began stretching her arms.

    "I'll see what I can do," she said. "Franky, what is the optimal wind force for the rigging systems of the Cannibal and the Sunny, and where on the sails do I need to focus on it to avoid undue stress and any chance of us running into each other?"

    "That's… uh…" Franky paused his enthusiastic preparations, then began to trundle to one of the ladders leading belowdecks, scratching his temple. "Lemme get back to you on that… Yo, Nami, d'you mind if I borrow some of your weather charts?"

    "You damage them and you're paying in parts, shellhead!" was the distracted reply.

    One batch of calculations and compliments directed towards the Sunny later, our negotiator was parked on the quarterdeck, our shipwright and helmsgirl manned the helm, and our friends sailing beside the Sunny had assumed brace positions, complete with Ever, Apis, and Valentine calling out "Brace! Brace! Brace!" in eerie synchronicity. I'm not kidding, it was extremely creepy how in-synch they were.

    Anyway, I turned away from that oddity as Franky called out: "Soldier Dock System, Channel 0: Cola Paddle System!"

    "Breath of Isis!" added Vivi, much of her upper torso fading into the wind as she shoved her arms forwards into double twisters.

    "Double propulsion, Turbo Sunny!" Merry finished with a massive grin, yanking the helm's lever and putting the entire combination into action.

    To use an apt simile, the result of the Coup de Burst is a lot like what happens to a soda bottle cap when you shake the bottle too much. And while a couple of powerful paddlewheels along with a sudden gale in our sails wasn't quite as fast, we were definitely burning foam for the horizon, and the bank of clouds that laid upon it.

    Beside us, Sandersonia urged her mount "Faster, Orchid!", the poor reptile straining to keep up with the sudden increase in our speed. The strain was evident in her grit teeth, though I got the feeling that it was as much the smug smirk Lindy giving her as it swooped above all of us. Seriously, if those two got it into their heads to hate-breed, I swear…

    Thankfully, it was only a few minutes later that the fog of the Florian consumed the horizon. And as we slowed to enter the foreboding mists, which were already curling out towards us in a decidedly unfriendly manner, Brook himself drew his violin and began to play.

    "Yohohoho, yohoho-ho~! Yohohoho, yohoho-ho~!"

    The skeleton's tones echoed eerily back to us, and slowly the purple mists lost their malice, swirling around us in a circular and far kinder manner. The swirling cloud coalesced into a tunnel deep into the fog, large enough for us to pass through unimpeded and revealing the warm and inviting yellow mist hidden behind the menacing purple. Wiping the half-condensed sweat from her brow, Vivi urged our ships forward again, though much more slowly.

    And then our acceleration abruptly halted with an almost cartoonish screech as a very familiar silhouette loomed before us in the mists. And as is stereotypical of such things… it was not a good silhouette.

    "Soundbite?" I grit out. He needed no further direction, and an air horn blasted out from the other side of the Sunny.

    "GAH! What is it, Cross?" Tashigi's voice rang out, very snappishly.

    "Stow the attitude, I need to know if there are any of the Divine currently stationed in the Triangle."

    "Any of…? No, no there aren't. Because A. it really ruins the reputation of a pirate sanctuary if there are Marines hanging around being friendly, and B. if there were, I wouldn't have been so unwilling to come with you."

    "Then why the hell is there a Marine battleship here?!" Zoro demanded, his hand landing heavily on Wado Ichimonji's hilt as he stared down said Marine battleship silhouetted in the mists. I mean, sure, it was a damn rundown battleship, with ragged sails and hanging lines and gouges dotting the hull, but still! Battleship!

    However, he was saved from having to actually exert himself—

    "Sheathe your blades, Pirate Hunter, I'm not your enemy!"

    By, for some reason, Soundbite boosting the officer's voice, a grin suddenly on his face. Granted, the voice sounded slightly familiar, but considering the influx in callers over the last couple of weeks and the fact that all I couldn't see more than a silhouette on the other ship, that didn't help me identify the guy. Then that was all rendered a moot point.

    "Former Warrant Officer Ernest Gheilt," the Marine identified himself, his smile audible. "Current Vanguard of the Skelter Bite Phantom Armada. We're some of the Marines you saved from our hellish twilight, and as we promised you back then, I and mine are at your service, Straw Hats."

    "Oh, yeah, I remember him," Luffy perked up, pounding his fist into his hand. "He was the first guy that called in during the victory party!"

    That finally jogged my memory, and my grin matched Soundbite's when I waved at the ship. "Well, I'll be damned! Good to meet you, Gheilt! Decided to stick it to your old bosses by giving them a bloody nose to match their black eye, I take it?"

    "You know it," the man replied, chuckling fondly. "Took some fast talking to get Lola's trust, but you can't fake the pain of not having your shadow. Plus, my ships already looked like they were halfway to sinking, so we just fixed them up a bit while keeping the aesthetic aaand—!"

    "The fabled pirate heaven of Skelter Bite gets a ghost fleet to act as a border patrol for the mists, and make sure that the more persistent assholes who actually get it in their skulls to keep trying their luck against the Triangle and potentially ruining other pirates' days get thrown out on their asses!" I completed with an ecstatic giggle. "Brilliant!"

    "Yeah, Captain Lola thought so too, both from a strategic standpoint and a thematic one," Gheilt agreed, trailing off into a wistful sigh. "Aaaah, but anyway, you all didn't come here to listen to this old sea dog gush about how good his life is; keep moving forward, you and yours are always free to return to Skelter Bite. The Florian will guide you the rest of the way."

    And no sooner did the ex-Marine give that order than did a few notes whistle out from the silhouette; it was a different melody from Binks' Brew, something… deeper, it sounded like. More… emotional, I suppose? Hard to say, I'd have to ask Brook about it later.

    Either way, the effects were immediate and highly visible: The golden mist parted like the red sea behind the battleship, the sea actually colored red by the twilight shining through the thinned mists on the other side. The mists behind the Sunny reached down and plumped the sails, allowing Vivi to flop to the deck. It was shortly after that we got our first good look at what the New World Masons had accomplished over the past couple of months.

    It was… incredible, I'll be honest. Before the island's renovation, Thriller Bark's looming profile had been a stark monument of terror and oppression, not helped by the fact that the twilit darkness of the Triangle had obscured the true size of the island and the structures that dominated its landscape, making it seem bigger and more threatening.

    Skelter Bite, though? While the light did outline how insanely massive Skelter Bite was, the light coming from the island completely upended the connotations that size conveyed. It was massive, yes, but it was the kind of 'massive' that could only be called 'majestic'.

    The first thing we noticed was actually the most threatening aspect of the island, the gate: the tooth Absalom had crashed into had been either repainted or replaced with a gold tooth, and the rest of the gate had been remodeled into a massive white skull. Menacing as hell, even with straight white teeth, especially since the eye sockets were angled just right to seem to stare into your soul, though I imagine smaller ships wouldn't fully appreciate the effect. But we were pirates; what was a symbol of terror and destruction for most people was… well, okay, as I said it was still pretty threatening, but it was also a symbol of camaraderie and sanctuary!

    Also a good chance to get your teeth knocked out, but hey, some people enjoyed that. Or needed it, considering some of the dental work I'd seen back in Mock Town. Anyway, the symbol was also emblazoned on the sky-shadowing mainsail, which had been altered so that it now featured the usual straight-facing skull. But rather than crossbones behind it, a ring of bones circled around the skull. Actually, looking closer, it wasn't just bones, but a hundred smaller jolly rogers! Nice touch.

    And that was all just the front gate and sail. Beyond it? Beyond it laid what I could only describe as a veritable city of lights. No, seriously! An actual city outlined in the blurred light of the setting sun, the dark silhouette of dozens of buildings of as many shapes outlined by the bright lights within dancing across them, and that loud, low buzz that characterized a thriving metropolis just bursting with life. In every conceivable interpretation of the phrase, the contrast was glorious.

    And while my first instinct was to give credit to Oda—where it was still ultimately due, of course—I remembered that this setting only existed because of what I had brought about. And damn if that just didn't fill me straight to the brim with pride.

    Faced with such a monument to piracy and freedom, I tried to come up with something to say, something to mark just how momentous the occasion was—

    "WELL, FUCK ME RUNNING, THAT'S ONE BIG-ASS MOTHERFUCKER!"

    …aaaaand then Bartolomeo beat me to it and utterly ruined the moment. Because of course.

    "Crude though that was, this… is amazing. The Masons were able to do this in just three months!?" Sandersonia demanded, her serpent angling its head to put her near me.

    "And you think I'm less amazed than you?" I demanded.

    "…Maybe not, but I think we're both less amazed than them," she remarked, gesturing over my shoulder.

    I sighed, not even bothering to look. "Wild guess: Luffy, Usopp, Chopper, Merry, Franky, and Brook all looking at Skelter Bite with starry eyes."

    "And every animal on the ship that isn't our 'beloved' ball of slime," Robin confirmed, chuckling. Her tone grew more sincere as she continued. "And who can blame them? Lola's lofty ambition is going to be seen through if it hasn't already."

    "It's already night and day compared to Mock Town," Vivi breathed in awe.

    "Yesss, this is impressive; it almost makes me happy that you forced me into this," came an aggrieved voice from behind me.

    I could have given Tashigi a bone and not poked her… but naaah. "Oh?" I inquired innocently, turning to grace her with my full, perfectly impish smile. "And what's keeping you from being happy, hm?"

    "Well, I don't know, maybe it's got something to do with how you FORCED ME INTO THIS! AND BY THIS, I MEAN BOTH THIS OUTFIT AND YOUR CREW!" Tashigi finished in a shriek, gesturing indignantly at her new outfit. Said outfit consisted of the age-old pirate classics: a blue-and-white striped shirt, canvas trousers, and a red bandanna tied around her head. Ah, but what really tied the whole ensemble together were the eyepatch tied around her left eye and the cast made of wood strapped over her leg.

    "That is not the appropriate attitude to take if you want a promotion within this organization, CABIN GIRL SHIGI!" Soundbite chided in between blatant sniggers.

    I snorted and jabbed a finger at the snail. "Listen to your superior officer, Cabin Girl."

    Tashigi's entire head jerked at that comment, and she glared at me with an intensity usually reserved between Sanji and Zoro. "You're going to pay dearly for this indignity, sir," she hissed, her every word dripping with Yuda venom. "I don't know how, I don't know when, but before I leave this mortal plane, I will make you regret this."

    …well, there was only one way to reply to that, wasn't there?

    "Neat!" I beamed brightly.

    "FUCK YOU!" And with that final roar, Tashigi wheeled around and started to stomp off.

    "You know he's just doing this because he loves watching you react, right?" Koala casually called after the "ex"-Marine.

    "DON'T CARE, STILL GONNA KILL HIM!"

    "I tried, you're on your own," the Revolutionary shrugged in defeat.

    "I've come to terms with my imminent beatdown. At this point, I interpret half of them as affection. Which, to be frank, is not inaccurate." I hummed happily. "More importantly, no doubt about it now: Skelter Bite is alive and well!"

    "And not just in the way you meant!"

    I turned to the bow, where Merry and Franky were standing, the former sporting a soft smile on her face as she inspected the upcoming haven with a spyglass.

    "Lola's treated her right," the ship-girl clarified. "The damage will still take a long time to heal completely, but the worst is gone. She's going to grow so strong! And the rest of the old timers are enjoying their retirements pretty damn well, too!"

    "Eh?" I raised a questioning eyebrow. "Whaddaya mean?"

    "Here, check it!" Merry handed her spyglass off to me, and I peered through it at the approaching haven.

    A closer look only made me even more admiring of the architecture. Now I could take in the helter-skelter, clearly improvised profusion of architectural styles that didn't seem to follow any… set… hold the phone and the mayo! "Are those… ships?" I asked incredulously.

    Not that I needed an answer, because now that I looked it was blatantly obvious that yes, those were old ships that had been repurposed into buildings. Some were still sitting on their keels, others had been stood up on their sterns with their prows pointing into the air, and others still had been straight-up flipped upside down so that they were keels-up. And as if the buildings themselves weren't crazy enough, the layout itself was positively insane: the ship-buildings were… well, simply put, they were anywhere and everywhere, stacked on top of one another and strewn about like a titanic child's set of building blocks.

    "They fished up the old-timers that sank in the jaws of Thriller Bark, and repurposed them so they can keep supporting us even after they're no longer seaworthy!" Merry sighed blissfully as she all but melted into the Sunny's wheel.

    "It's so SUPER!" Franky capped off, slamming his arms into his signature pose. "Now, this is what I expected to see from the biggest ship in Paradise! Of course, if Ice-For-Brains actually manages to make that plan of his work—"

    "You haven't been keeping up with our news, have you?" Robin chuckled.

    "Giant amateur shipwrights are still amateur shipwrights," Franky clarified, less exuberantly, adjusting his sunglasses far too primly for someone of his stature. "And Ice-For-Brains would have about as much luck teaching them as you're having with your students."

    "Hey, Vivi resents that," Conis sniffed with a dismissive flap of her wing.

    Vivi retaliated with a snort and a hair-mussing gale. "Bite me, miss 'can't tell squall from squid'."

    "They are very similar characters!"

    Their banter continued in much the same vein, but I tuned them out to think over that little revelation. The implications of Vivi being proficient in the Void language and a Logia coupled with the fact that she would soon have the opportunity to return to Alabasta made me a little dizzy; I still didn't have any solid idea of what Pluton was, but depending on how things went, I might find out sooner than I expected…

    But for now, we had a whole different ship to concern ourselves with.

    It seemed like the Rolling Pirates had spared no expense in maintaining the fear factor of the defenses. Just as an example? The moment we came within range of the skull that had replaced the front gate, its eyes lit up into blood red spotlights that swept over us, scanning over our ships and our crews.

    "WHO DARES TO APPROACH THE IMPREGNABLE BUCCANEER BASTION OF SKELTER BITE?" came a double-layered voice. It was actually pretty impressive; whatever rig they were broadcasting from actually managed to ripple the water beneath us.

    Unfortunately for them, however…

    "YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE, FOOLS," a Zuul-possessed Vader rumbled in reply.

    "AAGH!"

    Well, frankly, we were just better than them.

    It was with no small amusement that we watched a pair of very familiar figures leap out of the gate's eye-sockets and plunge into the water below.

    "Huh…" Barto looked over the edge of his ship's prow, rubbing his chin. "I take it those are the Risky Brothers who interrupted the SBS awhile back?"

    "I ASSURE YOU, this instance of divine justice HAS NOTHING TO DO with that lack of respect for their auditory deity," Soundbite lied shamelessly.

    "Okay, seriously!? You two were trying to intimidate us?" Usopp called down, giving the water-treading brothers a disgruntled look. "Us?! We faced way scarier than that last time we were here! Heck, I'm scarier than the two of you!"

    "Personally, on behalf of rodents everywhere, I am deeply ashamed in how unskilled your sorry excuse for trickery was," Su sniffed, flicking her tail primly.

    "FOR THE LAST TIME, JUST BECAUSE OUR SHADOWS WERE IN SQUIRRELS DOESN'T MEAN THAT WE'RE SQUIRRELS!" the black-masked one hollered furiously as he paddled for the island-ship.

    "And come on, we were just having a little fun!" the afro-toter added as he followed his brother's lead, the both of them climbing back up the side of the ring. From the lack of visible footholds, they must have practiced to know how to do it… which really did not help the first one's case. "And it's not like we just did it to you! We put everyone through it! It's tradition!"

    "Besides," the first one added. "We still need to keep records of who comes in and out. Black Bart's flag, we recognize, but who are the other two?"

    "Takoyaki 8 is mine," Hachi said, stepping forward. "Hachi, ex-pirate and current chef. I'm here to serve Takoyaki to the biggest names of this generation!"

    "Ooh, we'll have to stop by when our shift ends!" the other said. "And what about—"

    "Boa Sandersonia of the Kuja Pirates, sister of Boa Hancock," the Zoan declared imperiously from her craft. "I am interested in exploring the luxuries that Skelter Bite offers those of my kind."

    The Riskies froze in their climb, completely silent. One of them damn near slipped off in his shock and I wasn't exactly eager to let them start panicking when they got their wits back about them, so I took the opportunity to jump into the conversation.

    "She has my approval, her sister isn't here, the Government doesn't know she's here, and translation: she wants to get blackout drunk and party with the noobs," I deadpanned, which Sandersonia helpfully backed up by adopting an ear-to-ear grin and flashing a peace sign at the bros.

    The brothers glanced nervously at each other, but to my relief, they pulled themselves together rather than panic.

    "Very well. You may enter," they said together in impressive synchronicity. "Turn to starboard as you enter to reach the main docks."

    The crew dispersed as the gates cranked open, furling the rigging as we pulled into the floating island's makeshift harbor.

    "Oh, and one more thing!" one of the brothers called down as we passed under them. "We're still missing about a half-dozen more Supernovae… Supernovas? Whichever. Point is, you're early!"

    "The Coos have found the rest and are bringing them in now," the other brother nodded. "But still, earliest estimate we've got is that we'll have the meeting tomorrow. 'Til then, enjoy the city, drinks are on the house! Nothin' but the best for the Straw Hat Pirates!"

    "Oh-hoh? Is that so?" Lindy licked his toothy maw eagerly as he regarded the city with a new light in his eyes. "Well, don't mind if I—!"

    "I said Straw Hats, scale-ass! You cheapskates still gotta pay!"

    Instead of throwing out a derisive comment, Lindy's eyes simply narrowed. He sucked in a deep breath and then exhaled explosively. Literally explosively, given the building-sized fireball that shot from his maw. I turned away as it hit the Risky's skull-booth, but the expected explosion didn't come. Instead, when I turned around, metal shutters had slid down over the openings, the bone around it only mildly scorched.

    "Metal shutters!" one of the pirates crowed, rolling it up a little to smack it. "Suck on that, you overgrown lizard!"

    "You two have quite the balls to oppose a dragon. I respect that. And if I ever get my claws on you, I'll rip 'em off!"

    "And it's comments like that that convinced Captain Lola to let us turn this place into a sea prism stone-enforced bunker!" one of the Riskies cackled. "Do your worst!"

    "Oh, he did not just say that…" Usopp groaned, slapping a hand to his face.

    Lindy snarled and spread his wings, obviously prepared to do just that—

    "Apis Rubber Band of Doom!"

    SNAP!

    "GYAGH!"

    —before he suddenly collapsed onto his muzzle, whimpering in agony as he clutched at his… well, let's just say he got a lot of sympathy from most of the pirates present.

    Apis wasn't one of that number, instead spinning her impromptu weapon around her finger with an impressed grin. "Hey, Usopp, you were right, this is an effective weapon. I'll take ten."

    "Twenty for me!" Tashigi tacked on with a far too eager grin.

    "Lemme think about it…" Usopp whimpered miserably.

    In a not at all panicked attempt to take my mind off the rapidly developing situation, I zeroed in on the approaching island. I have to say, now that I could get a closer look at the details it was even more impressive.

    More interesting than the architecture, in my opinion, was how drastically they'd altered the island's geography. The last time we'd approached the landmass known as Thriller Bark, the fact that the only building was a mile inland meant that all that was visible from the cove was the topmost towers of Moria's manor. Now, however? It was almost impossible to see the base of Skelter Bite's sail-tower from the harbor, because of the towering skyline of ships blocking our line of sight. Heck, it almost reminded me of sailing into New York!

    And the docks only emphasized that; they had been impressively large before, but it clearly hadn't been enough for Lola; she had expanded them out into the harbor itself via a series of floating docks, forming a makeshift port with dozens of ships of all sizes within. It looked like a fully functioning port, even including a host of… surprisingly stable-looking cargo cranes, half of which were unloading crates from the larger docked ships. Crates whose origins I really didn't want to dwell too hard on, but still.

    "Mmrgrgh…" Tashigi grumbled to herself, critically eyeing the black-peaked forest of masts, her fingers clenching and unclenching around Shigure's hilt. "On the one hand, this was all built without any actual legitimate government involvement. Impressive. On the other hand, pirates. So… damn… conflicted…"

    "Oi." Thwack.

    "Ow!" Tashigi yelped, rubbing the spot on her temple where she'd just been flicked. "The hell—?"

    "Tashigi," Zoro cut in, frowning sternly. "If you need to look at anything in this rare and fleeting moment you're actually wearing your glasses—"

    "HA!" "All of my hate, slimeball!"

    "—You're the most familiar with pirate flags out of all of us," our first mate continued, stuffing a spyglass into her hand. "Give us a who's who, so we don't reenact Jaya if we don't have to."

    Tashigi blinked in surprise, and after visibly wrestling with herself for a moment, she raised the spyglass and pointed it toward the collection of ships we were sailing toward.

    "Let's see, we already know about Kid and Apoo… hmm, and it looks like there are three other Supernovas too, I can see Law, Bege, and Drake's ships. But it looks like the others haven't—wait a second, is that Foxy!?"

    I snapped my eyes over and my jaw dropped. Unmistakable in size and decor, the still cringe-inducingly named Sexy Foxy was anchored ahead of us with what looked to be a smaller cadet ship anchored next to it. Guess our ersatz 'recruitment officer' had decided to expand a bit.

    "This shouldn't be as much of a surprise as it is," Usopp muttered. "I mean, it's a pirate haven and he's one of our closer allies. OH!" He perked up eagerly, pounding his fist in his palm. "Maybe Dorry or Broggy will be here, too!"

    "Here, lemme…" Merry hummed thoughtfully, tilting her head to the side and cupping her ear for a few seconds before shaking her head with a sad sigh. "Sorry Usopp, nothin' doing. The ladies say there are about a dozen Giants here, yes, but Ogres, no. Still! They're all crewmates of the big guys, so I recommend some padding for all the backslapping you're going to get."

    "That means almost all of the Damned are on the same island," Tashigi muttered, ignoring the byplay. "Any bright ideas for how to keep the alliance discreet?"

    I shrugged and started to tick off my fingers. "It's a pirate island, so shit happens, I've got Soundbite to muddle any possible eavesdroppers, thanks to the ad-hoc, unregulated construction there's probably upwards of a hundred hidden and unrecorded rooms and passages per building—"

    A sound part-way between a grunt and a cough sounded out beside us.

    "—And we have Popora, too. Want me to go on?"

    She continued staring at me for a moment. Then she sighed and turned back. "Really hate when you're right."

    Disembarkment followed soon after, with both cooks staying behind on the Sunny, Hachi to prepare some samplers where Luffy couldn't inhale them and Sanji half to help Hachi prep the food, and half to put the fear of… basically anyone and everyone into those two.

    Coo, for his part, gave us all a sardonic doff of his newsie cap. "Well, folks, I'd say it's been fun, but more than a few of you tried to eat me while I was onboard. If you don't mind, I'll be going back to the saner of the big mouths in Paradise, thank you very much!" And with that, he flapped off to rejoin Apoo and his flock.

    Over on the Cannibal, most of the Barto Club's mooks and officers were staying put themselves… to run damage control when Goldenweek inevitably got another bout of inspiration. There were a few wary assurances that they'd catch up later, but considering Ever was directing an effort to de-paint the sails as we left, none of us were holding our breath. Gin and Barto especially; Soundbite had gotten some new curses to add to his repertoire when they jumped ship right before the paint started flying.

    Anyway, one completely unfairly shot down attempt to ride in on Funkfreed (proooobably shouldn't have tried to take off solo), we set off into the city.

    And before anyone asks, yes, we knew that we'd left Keimi and the Dugongs behind. But c'mon, they were professional martial artists with our crew's knack for the insane and impossible. They'd be back, probably in some impossibly awesome manner, so there were maybe five minutes of worrying before the more level-headed of us got that through everyone's skulls. We wouldn't let it happen again, of course, but this time it wouldn't be a problem.

    Anyway, back to the point: reviewing Skelter Bite's fantastic transformation!

    Though... frankly, 'gruesome' fit the walk to the front gate better. Or, as some would put it…

    "Well, this is inviting!" Robin remarked in an outright chipper tone.

    "Rooobiiin…" Usopp moaned, dragging his hands down his face.

    "Only you, Robin," Vivi lamented, her tired sigh echoing around us. "Only you."

    Yup. Only someone like Robin would find a baker's dozen gallows with skeletons swinging from the arms to be 'inviting'.

    "Meh. 6/10, NEEDS real skeletons."

    "What?" Robin said, head whipping over to Soundbite.

    "Yohohoho! Soundbite is quite correct!" Brook, standing next to one of the gallows and staring at the apparently not-corpse hanging from it, declared. Reaching out, he gave it a hard shove, and we all heard the rattle of wood on wood, not bone on bone (do not ask how we all knew that).

    Ignoring Robin's disappointed groan at that, I gave a closer look at how the bones were arranged and what was on them. The effigies' arms were spread-eagled, which didn't fit a hanging, but it seemed to be to allow them to hold up what appeared to be tattered and torn pirate flags of several designs. Any confusion about that imagery was cleared up by wooden signs hanging around the skeletons' necks, and what was written on said signs.

    "Ash Tooth Pirate Crew. Crime: Arson. Unjustified and Unprovoked—"

    "Oh, come on, they're qualifying crimes now?" Tashigi groaned.

    "According to what I've heard so far," Merry said, scrunching her face in concentration. "They don't care so much about the fire as they do the intention and location. That's the gist for all crime around here: when it comes to 'pirate justice', Motivation and Consequence are king. Burn down an uninhabited building, fine; you'll probably get press-ganged into helping with the repairs, but not kicked out. Burn something down in a fight, same thing. Heck, even if you're doing it to try to kill someone, there's no big deal unless someone ends up dead or they're not actually a legitimate asshole that someone else hasn't gotten to first."

    "What are they punishing, then?" demanded Tashigi, a sentiment that was shared by myself and several others, I am not ashamed to admit.

    "Apparently, it depends on how popular the buildings are; the more people wouldn't want them gone, the more dangerous it is. Wrong idea to try proving your stones like these jackasses apparently did; tried to light the alcohol stores on fire." Merry's expression fell flat as she grabbed our first mate's arm without even looking. "Put 'em away, Zoro, they're not even on the island anymore so you can't cut them."

    "You don't know that."

    "Wait, hang on," Vivi butted in, shoving Zoro aside—

    "GAH!" SPLASH!

    —and clean into the drink with a particularly forceful gust so that she could get a closer look at the skeleton. "You said they're not here anymore? Then where are they?"

    "Uhh…" Merry cocked her head at the skeleton. "I'm getting 'fate worse than death… and then death'."

    Barto perked up at that. "Neat!"

    Gin, however, was a bit more… conservative in his response. Specifically, he yanked Merry up by her hood, glowering. "I'm going to need way more detail before I set one foot in that city, brat!" he demanded.

    Merry gave the other first mate a flat look. "Put me down, dead eyes, before I break your weak little fingers like breadsticks."

    Dead eyes' weak little fingers snapped open, letting the shipgirl drop to the dock and brush herself off.

    "Thank you," she said, nodding primly. "Now, to answer your question, nobody on this here walk of shame was executed. They just got their asses kicked based on the severity of their crimes, and then they got tossed out on their asses with a not subtle warning to get out and stay out, while their flags got pinned up here to warn everyone else who comes after them."

    "No matter the world you're in, there'll always be terms and conditions… though at least I can make sense of these," I snorted.

    "So, what exactly is Lola doing? I mean, blacklisting them wouldn't get them dead, and it hardly strikes me as a fate worse than death, either," Sandersonia wondered, sounding far too interested.

    "Actually, I think I can answer that," Tashigi said thoughtfully, a genuine smile on her face for the first time since we set foot here. "Since the outer guards are former Marines, and since I recognize some of these flags from recent arrest records, it's not hard to put things together."

    "Kick their asses, take and string up their flags, turn them in," Koala summarized, nodding. "Makes sense; it's effective, final, and guilt free because anyone who commits these crimes is then a common criminal instead of a pirate." She let her expression fall flat. "Though I seriously doubt anyone appreciates the beauty of it beyond 'piss us off and we kick your ass and string your flag up'. Besides Robin, of course."

    "Oh, now, that's not true. I'm sure Don Accino feels the same way," Robin said sweetly.

    It took an effort of will, but clamping Soundbite's lips shut let me avoid mouthing off. "Don't respond," Lassoo advised, cutting off any other reactions.

    "Well, anyway…" Franky hummed, rubbing his chin as he examined another effigy. "If we're going in, we might as well read a few of these, see what we can and can't do in this place. I mean, we're going to piss somebody off, might as well not include the local authorities in that list…"

    He paused so that he and about a half-dozen other of the assholes I called my friends turned to give my snail and I looks.

    I stayed silent and contented myself with flipping them a pair of birds, while Soundbite rolled his eyestalks. "In the words of every sitcom character in the early '90s and everyone in the Midwest through the rest of the '90s, 'don't go there'."

    "I don't even know what a sitcom is or where the Midwest is, but I can already tell that was offensive and clichéd beyond all reason," Vivi deadpanned.

    "Anyway," Franky cut in, a little loud. "Let's just read the rules so that we can at least try to avoid ticking our friends off on purpose, alright?"

    "Awww!" Luffy groaned, throwing his head back. "Do we really need to read? That's, like, the worst thing anyone can do ever!"

    I snapped my gauntlet into a fist. "Hold him down, Robin."

    "Gladly, Cross," the assassin-archaeologist sniffed primly as she ran her fingers over her knife's edge.

    "A-Ah, Luffy?" Usopp spoke up hastily, eyes darting between his captain and the two of us. "Give it a chance, would you? Maybe some of these stories will be funny!"

    "Mmm, yeah, that's true," Luffy conceded, before swiftly perking up. "Yeah, yeah, alright! Go ahead!"

    "Aye-aye captain!" Usopp saluted, zipping over to an effigy holding up a flag that had a bloody bear-trap on it. "Let's see, Lockjaw Pirates, Crime…" Usopp's eagerness died a swift and violent death, his expression dropping into a horrified gape. "Guh… A-Attempted Murder - Unjustified/Unprovoked."

    While the rest of us gagged in shock, Luffy's expression merely went blank and he tilted his head to the side. "…well, that's not funny."

    "Aaaand this turned on us right quick," I groused, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Alright, Merry? Elaborate. Now."

    "Um…" Merry tapped her temple and quickly winced. "Seems like they got in thanks to a bard who faked it well enough for the lot of them to slip past the Triangle. And because Gheilt and his hadn't gotten here yet and the sea gate was still under construction, it looks like they were able to come in guns blazing…"

    "Oh, I can explain that, at least," Koala scowled. "Within days of the SBS broadcast, Big Mom promised a king's ransom to whoever could destroy Skelter Bite and bring back the captain's head."

    Everyone matched her scowl, as well as the malicious eagerness that followed when Usopp spoke again.

    "Well, here's some good news: looks like they only managed to get a little way into the island before they were sent packing. The last charge here is 'Failed to make Lola break a sweat.'"

    …I am not ashamed to admit that it took me a minute to grasp that Lola had singlehandedly curb-stomped that crew. I may have made her one of the Damned's leaders but in the face of… let's be brutally honest here, everything about her, it was incredibly easy to forget that she was a skilled swordsman and pirate captain whose shadow had powered one of the General Zombies, not to mention my newer knowledge that she grew up in the New World. Put all those pieces together and…

    "Holy shit, I think the only reason she didn't send them back to her mother in pieces is she didn't want to give Linlin a snack," I mused aloud.

    That earned me a good number of shocked looks.

    "I can't tell what part of that sentence is most disturbing of all…" Lassoo whined, dropping to the ground and covering his eyes with his paws.

    "And that… person is one of the strongest pirates in all of the New World? As in, the ocean we're going to next?!" Conis squawked, her wings twitching.

    "Oh, I'm sure it won't be that bad," Brook said airily.

    "Of course it won't. It'll be so much worse," I agreed just as airily.

    "Right, so much wor—oh, dear."

    "HEY, LOOK AT THIS ONE, THIS ONE LOOKS FUNNY!" Chopper barked from further up the flag line, a hint of hysteria in his voice that was backed by his twitching smile and distinct lack of cyan madness. We obligingly trooped over to the flag and let Carue take a look at it.

    "Wet's see hewe… Kojiwo Piwates… foah some weason…" A sweatdrop beaded on the back of his head, and on mine and others'; why the hell was the Jolly Roger chomping down on a big red 'R'? "And the cwime was…" Carue's sweatdrop doubled in size. "Theft."

    "Wait, what?" Tashigi demanded. "You mean they're actually punishing that one?"

    "Hang on, there's a footnote," Vivi interjected, leaning past her mount's shoulder to squint at the corner of the sign. "It says 'Dumb enough to get caught'."

    The 'ex'-Marine slumped over. "Ah. Now that makes more sense. I honestly don't know what I expected at this point."

    I wanted to repeat that question to Tashigi's face, but that decision was taken away from me by Nami accidentally jabbing a section of her Eisen Cloud into my side. Instead, I looked at Merry in askance.

    By this point, Merry was already tilting her head…

    "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!"

    Aaaand then she fell on her back laughing her little head off, which got Luffy snickering along in turn, even though he had no idea why. No more needed to be said on that front.

    That was the last one we read as a group, though everyone read the remainder in passing, alternating between exasperation, satisfaction, and amusement. That ended the minute we saw the entrance, which had been… thoroughly remodeled.

    See, back when the island was Thriller Bark, the only access to the harbor had been through a break in the seawall that ringed the island. Now, though, the builders of Skelter Bite had used a Marine Battleship to fill that gap. A years-out-of-date, defaced to hell and back battleship, but it still made for a heavily armed, extremely sturdy barbican… and Roger help me there's another word I never thought I'd use in perfect context.

    Once we finished picking our jaws up off the ground, our eyes naturally slid to the entrance, which was less imposing but no less eye-catching. A gold-painted arch glinted in the golden mist wafting through the entire island—yeah, that was a thing, forgot to mention that—and framed a tunnel carved through the bow of the battleship. Oh, yeah, and there was also a miniature graveyard parked directly in front. Though when I say 'miniature', I mean there was exactly one unmarked tombstone set behind a grave that had probably been dug last week, illuminated by a lantern hanging on a post next to it, and framed by a pea-soup wall of regular gray fog. Not the golden fog in the rest of the island, regular old cloud.

    It was a complete visual non-sequitur that left us blinking in confusion for a solid minute before the freshly dug grave began to slowly shift as if something was climbing out. And, to our incredulous shock, something was climbing out, an ancient, decrepit-looking—

    I blinked in surprise. "Wait, haven't I seen this bit before?" I muttered to myself.

    Before I could say more or anyone else could actually react, Luffy walked ahead of us, right up to the 'zombie' that was halfway out of the grave and groaning unintelligibly. Luffy stared down at the 'living dead'… and then I burst out laughing as he put his hands on the man's shoulders and head and tried—no, he actually pushed his torso back into the grave, leaving the 'zombie's arms flailing and twitching frantically in the air.

    The re-earthing only lasted for a few seconds before the 'zombie' popped back out of the earth, visibly pissed off rather than the standard slack-jawed zombie expression.

    "GAH! DON'T PUT ME BACK IN THE GROUND!" the old man howled. "ARE YOU AN IDIOT?"

    "Yes," everyone deadpanned.

    The old man's expression fell, and he grimaced in embarrassment. "Right, forgot about that. My bad."

    "…It's an old man with serious injuries," Luffy finally observed.

    "CAN'T YOU SEE IT'S A ZOMBIE!?" yelled most of the males with us.

    "No, I can confirm that it really is an old man WITH SERIOUS INJURIES. HE STILL HAS A PULSE… I… thiiiiink? It's a bit hard to OH THERE IT IS!" Soundbite nodded triumphantly. "SO YEAH, LIVING OLD GUY pretending to be himself next year. MORE OF THE OMINOUS decor?"

    The old man shook off his grimace and grinned politely. "Exactly! It's fun on our terms, after all. Now, if I may continue my bit…?"

    "Shishishi! Sure thing, old guy!" our captain snickered, hauling the old man the rest of the way out of the grave by his shoulders.

    "Ah, thank you," the old man nodded gratefully, taking up his lamp-bearing staff and coughing into his fist. "Now then, back on task… BEWARE!" He threw his arms out, the fog somehow swirling around him ominously. "Whosoever would cross this cemet'ry must answer me these questions three, ere the city lights you see."

    I turned a leer on Soundbite, who was inches from busting his shell laughing. "Pff… I didn't think sharing some PYTHON BITS during the party WOULD LEAD TO THIS! SURE DON'T REGRET IT, THOUGH!"

    I sighed, half-fondly, half-wishing I could justify punting him off the dock. A glance around showed much muttering and shifting about, and that just wouldn't do, now would it. "Alright, guys, settle down, settle down, I've got this." And so saying, I walked up beside the old man and leaned on his tombstone. "Say! Real quick, just before we start on those questions of yours, what!… is your name?"

    The old man blinked once, then twice before shaking his head and puffing his chest out. "Spoil, leader of the now-disbanded Thriller Bark Victim's Association! Nice to meet you in person, Jeremiah Cross!"

    "Mm-hm, I see, I see…" I mused, examining my metal-clad fingertips oh-so-casually. "Second, what!… is your purpose here?"

    Spoil flung his free arm out, visibly preening. "To judge whether or not those who come here are worthy of passage into the grand pirate haven of Skelter Bite!"

    "I see, I see," I nodded in agreement, glancing down at the senior citi-zombie. "And finally, what!… is the number that comes after two but before four?"

    Spoil scoffed, raising his chin even higher. "Why, three, of course!"

    "Correct!" I proclaimed, spreading my arms grandly. "Congratulations, you have answered the questions three! You may pass!" I declared, gesturing at the docks.

    "Huzzah!" Spoil cheered, running past our crewmates with some impressive speed for a wrinkly old shrimp like him. I turned back to my bemused crew and companions, smirking all the way.

    "We have anywhere from ten minutes to never, and I'm leaning towards the latter. Let's go."

    It took a moment for everyone to get over the fact that that had worked, and the walk through the tunnel nearly sent Tashigi sprawling from her improvised peg leg five times, but the view of the city when we emerged from the tunnel…

    It was incredible. I could still see the rushed, improvised, totally unplanned nature of the city, landed ships poking above the buildings lining the street in front of us, festooned with gangplanks, rope bridges, and suspended walkways stretching between them. But stretching out in front of us was a long street of properly constructed buildings—mixed in with some of the landed ships, naturally—stretching into the distance, reminiscent of the Vegas Strip or some of the longer streets in Manhattan. Shops lined the ground floors, and above that damn near every window was thrown open, a head or laundry line or improvised balcony sticking out, and bright murals and equally colorful signs covered almost every other square inch. Wooden sidewalks bordered the central street, which in turn was paved. With cobblestones. Somehow, I had the feeling we wouldn't be seeing that anywhere else.

    At the end of the street, towering in the distance, was the mainmast, no trace of Moria's mansion left. Instead, about a quarter up the towering wooden pillar, was Oars' skull, pinned to the mast like the world's biggest hunting trophy with the city's Jolly Roger hanging from its tusks. Now that's how you make a statement!

    And the people. Architecture is nice, but a city is made by its people, and this wasn't Mock Town, composed of average Joes who just didn't want to put in an honest day's work. Oh, don't get me wrong, there were plenty of those types, spilling out of the bars and sprawled on the street and most noticeable in the stench of piss and stale rum that underlaid everything. But they were a minority; most of the people I saw walking through the streets were the adventurers, the explorers, the truest of pirates found on the seas, or else the kind of honest and not-so-honest folk that always spring up to service them. The colors were garish, the fashions outlandish, giants lacking Giant Warrior colors leaned on the buildings, happily conversing with each other, and fishmen walked openly in the streets with nary a glance nor a hint of tension.

    Speaking of those the people servicing these true pirates, they'd clearly been busy. An eel Sea King was strung vertically on one side of the street, hanging from the bowsprit of a frigate dumped on its stern. There was what I could only describe as a ship dealership, selling and displaying everything from longboats to galleons. And… hold up, was that a cage being lugged over the rooftops? One big enough for Boss Kabuto, no less. Wonder what that was for.

    Oh, yeah, and cheering crowds and lots of shifting money surrounded no less than three street brawls. Pirates. Gotta love 'em.

    So, yeah. It was a chaotic mess, teeming with innovation and improvisation but also constantly on the verge of exploding into complete anarchy, anarchy that would probably level the place if it wasn't sent to Davy Jones' locker first. It was a true pirates' paradise, in other words. And I was loving every minute of it.

    And it wasn't just me, either.

    "Well, my compliments to the architects!" Sandersonia all but squeed, stars glittering in her eyes.

    "Yeah, it's pretty awesome," agreed Zor—wait, what!? There was only one path, and he didn't pass us, so how was he standing in front of us!?

    "Where the hell did you come from?!" demanded Tashigi, waving her crutch at him.

    "Blame my parents," the first mate deadpanned.

    Immediately, every person present gave me an expecting look. Even Luffy!

    "No, the story never got to that part of Zoro's backstory, and after the last revelation we got, no way in hell am I digging after it," I deadpanned.

    Many sighs of disappointment were had, and I swear I thought I saw Brook discreetly palm a few bills to a grinning Merry.

    "Aaand getting back on the subject of impossible geography, I'd just like to announce that I am… conflicted about this situation," Nami muttered, the corner of her mouth twitching erratically between a smile and a scowl. "On the one hand, I can't wait to map this place because it's a brand new and brilliantly intricate locale… but on the other, it's evolving, meaning that mapping it is going to be nearly, if not utterly, impossible…"

    "Might help to have someone more familiar with the area helping you out?" announced a somewhat familiar voice.

    It took me a minute to locate the speaker: a woman who'd just stepped out of the flow of pirates, bearing a pointed nose, sunglasses, and dark blue hair in dreadlocks dressed in an outfit that I could have sworn I saw Conis wearing the other day. And not two seconds after that, I realized there was only one place I'd seen an icepick like that on someone's face.

    "Porche?" I half-asked, half-demanded.

    "It's Marcedes while I'm undercover like this," the Foxy executive corrected, lowering her shades ever so slightly to shoot me a wink. "Gotta keep up the masquerade that we're still enemies. But good to see you finally made it. You all took your time getting here, didn't you?"

    "Shishishi! Sorry!" Luffy snickered, rubbing his finger under his nose. "We were busy getting takoyaki. We brought enough for everyone, though!"

    "Then in that case, everything's forgiven, captain!" Porche saluted before jabbing her thumb over her shoulder at Oars' looming skull. "Anyway, the boss and Lola have been expecting you guys; I've been familiarizing myself with the city for the last few days so I can give you some direction on where to go."

    "Ohoh? In that case, where's the best bar?"

    Porche stiffened slightly at the sight of Sandersonia, but showed her stones as a Straw Hat, albeit an unofficial branch Straw Hat, by simply pointing the baton she was suddenly holding down main street. "The closer to the front gates you are, the tackier and seedier the booze vendors. I recommend the Esun bar, about three-quarters to the mast and then it's on your right. Look for the crescent moon."

    "Thank you~!" Sonia sang, speeding off without so much as a 'catch you later' but with a very large grin on her face. To this day, I still count it a minor miracle that she didn't immediately leap into her demi-form and start a riot then and there.

    "…So, just to confirm, but that was one of the Kuja Pirates' Gorgon Sisters, yes?" Porche asked weakly, her more casual nature displaying itself as she suddenly looked like… well, no offense to him, but like an earlier Usopp.

    "Remember the mystery caller who said that their 'superior' was being considered for the Snake seat?" I responded with a grin worthy of the now-departed Zoan.

    A full-body shiver wracked Porche.

    A sigh, and a lack of any further reaction from Porche, drew my attention back to the rest of the crew, who seemed to be watching Sandersonia go, and Koala, who had her face in her hands. "I'd better go after her before half the people in this place almost bite it throwing themselves at her," she said between her fingers. "If anything will calm people about a Warlord's top subordinate being here, it's a Revolutionary vouching for them. Try not to level the place until I'm a mile offshore!" And with that parting compli-sult (patent pending) she set off after the serpent.

    "Hmmm… you know, splitting up does sound like a good idea," Nami offered. "After all, until the meeting starts, this is pretty much shore leave, right, Captain?"

    "Sure!" Luffy grinned. "We can worry about getting to Sab… Sab… uh, Cross?"

    "Sabaody," I said. "For once, your tongue-tying is understandable. And yeah, we can save the plan for when we get to planning."

    "For now," Bartolomeo cut in, wringing his hands with a toothy grin. "We're in a city where the primary forms of currency are booze, broken bones and bitchin' levels of badass!" He pumped his fists in the air, cackling. "Let's party!"

    "Just a second," Vivi interrupted, freezing everyone else in place. "Before we scatter, I think we need to decide on a place to meet up when we decide to turn in for the night that's more convenient than the Sunny."

    "Mmph—gah! Damn, that's freaky… a-anyway, I can help with that," Porche offered once her muscles unlocked. "The best inns that Skelter Bite has right now are The Queen's Blessing, Oden's Cottage, and The Lucky Rabbit. Most of our crew has spread out in the first one, but the top brass is at The Lucky Rabbit, and Lola has several suites reserved for you guys."

    "And how do we find said inns?" Tashigi inquired, her expression falling flat as she thumbed Zoro. "Besides this one, who's just going to walk into the sea and then out of the closet."

    "At least I'll be able to see where I'm going, four—oh, wait."

    "I will see you all frogmarched to the gallows."

    Porche blinked slowly at the Marine, and only barely covered snort of laughter with her hand. "Oh, sweet Coyote, Pisces, is that you?! The captain is going to love—!"

    SHING!

    "So getting to the inns, nothing simpler, just follow the signs!" the Foxy squawked. She pointed at the walls, and indeed, there hung three signs featuring a crown, a pagoda and a rabbit, and arrows pointing into the city. "They're the best establishments on the island, so they have the most signs put up, you can't miss them!"

    "Because they can afford to publicize the most?" Conis inquired.

    "Er…" Porche rubbed the back of her head. "More like because they can afford the best materials to nail their signs in place. Trust me, once someone uses Wootz Steel nails to secure something, it's never coming off. I've been seeing competitors try all week."

    "Yeah, well, that's the world of business for you, so cutthroat, a real window into the human—BOOK IT!" Barto suddenly barked, breaking into a mad dash for the nearest passageway, accompanied by the more adventurous pirates among us.

    "WOOHOO! I WANNA FIND WHERE THEY KEEP THE MEAT!"

    "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, PFHAHAHA!"

    Which is to say, Luffy and myself.

    And we almost made it, too, so close to just disappearing into the crowd and making a clean getaway and exploring the island unimpeded…

    "Yeah, no."

    "GWAH!"/ "ERGH!"/ "Nooooo!"

    But tragically, it was not to be, due to Nami's Eisen Tempo snagging me by my ankle and laying me out flat, Gin somehow getting in front of Barto and clotheslining him, and Zoro thwacking Luffy in the stomach with one of his sheathed swords and kneeling on our captain's back, his sea prism stone hilt-cap pressed firmly against Luffy's head.

    "Seeing as you three have somehow managed to forget, allow us to remind you of where you stand in this crew," Nami politely stated as she 'gently' hauled me off the ground by my heel. "For whatever reason, you numbskulls are the highest ranking officers in both our crews. That means that when we officers go to check in at The Lucky Rabbit, you are coming with us. Whether you like it or not."

    "And what if we tell you we're not going anywhere with you jagoffs?" Bartolomeo queried as he slowly picked himself off the ground.

    "Are you an idiot?" Luffy and I asked together.

    Barto took one look at Gin cracking his knuckles and nodded slowly. "Yyyes. Yes, yes I am. Alright!" He clapped his hands and shoved himself to his feet with a Barrier-crutch. "Let's get going and avoid getting our knees broken, aye, boys?"

    "Aye!" we two other idiots concurred.

    "Nay," two other voices droned, and I bit out a sharp curse when a pair of weights disappeared from my body as Lassoo and Funkfreed jumped ship—which is to say, me.

    "No offense, Cross, but we've been in close quarters to you for way too long," Lassoo snorted.

    "And if there's any island in the world where two…" Funkfreed rolled his trunk thoughtfully. "Let's be generous and say individuals, like us can just wander around and see the sights without any questions, well…" The elephant-sword's trunk spun in the air, indicating our surroundings. And considering how the Chinese New Year procession touting a stuffed Sea King eel as a pseudo-dragon float passing by, I couldn't deny the point.

    I let out an irritated hiss and waved my hand dismissively. "Fine, whatever, fuck off wherever you want." I glanced to Porche. "I'm guessing they can bill any purchases they make by the flag?"

    "Aye, though considering your crew's reputation, you're going to get a ton of freebies before your first bill," she confirmed.

    "Then go ahead and get going, you two. Though I swear, if I get even one bill about gold-flaked doggy kibble—!" I descended into a choked gurgle when I saw that they had disappeared without a trace. "Bastards."

    "Eh, deal with it. Meanwhile, just so we're clear, as soon as this is done, I'm going looking for the best bar on this island," Zoro chuckled with a smirk as he hauled Luffy back to his feet, though he kept an iron grip on the collar of our captain's vest.

    "I'll sniff you out and join you later, then," Chopper piped up. "I've been practicing Doctorine's negotiating techniques, and I could try twisting it a little for bets if anyone wants to try out-drinking you…" His expression flattened. "And, of course, I can practice my concussion treatments on said saps when their crewmates inevitably get it into their heads to try and take their money back by force."

    "Sounds like a party!" Nami chirped, beri symbols in place of her eyes. She also let go of me; only the fact that I saw it coming let me avoid a neck-wrecking drop on the head.

    "Well, if that's arranged, I believe I'd like to find some of the giants here," Robin waved offhandedly. "Usopp, would you care to join me?"

    "R-Robin!? I, uh… s-sure!" Usopp agreed. I gave her a somewhat melancholy smile that she returned before the pair walked off.

    And with that, everyone else trickled away from the group, intent on exploring the vast and amazing city of wonders that those of us being frogmarched could only fleetingly appreciate. Despite the tone, I refused to begrudge them a chance to look; no, my ire was reserved for the slave drivers doing the aforementioned frogmarching.

    In short order, Vivi had mounted Carue and set off, the last non-officers aside from my partners (Nami had let a quivering and gun-shy Billy go off with Conis and Su) to depart from our group. But when she passed the nearest street corner...

    "Oh, and Cross? Don't start any fires!" she called out over her shoulder.

    Oh, I couldn't let that go unaddressed, and so I turned and spread my arms wide, walking backwards. "Oh, poor princess, your ignorance is showing! In case you've forgotten, this is a true pirate's city! And so, unlike Mock Town…"

    "IF A QUARTER OF THIS PLACE DON'T GO AFLAME EVERY COUPLE O' DAYS, THEN WE'RE ALL DOIN' IT WRONG! AIN'T THAT RIGHT, BOYS?" Soundbite shouted to the surrounding onlookers.

    It was a true credit to Vivi's heightened sense of tolerance that even as the not-so-innocent bystanders cheered and laughed in agreement, all she did was smack the back of my head with a harsh breeze.

    Still, I was going to make an effort to avoid starting a fire this time, if only because I didn't want to find out the hard way that the Unluckies had somehow found a way inside.

    -o-​

    Not far behind the Straw Hats and their companions was a pirate that could be considered Luffy's equal. Not in the way that the bearer of the Leopard Zoan could, nor in the way that the bearer of the Mochi Paramecia would have one day been and more than likely one day still would. No…

    "WHO DARES TO APPROACH THE IMPREGNABLE—!"

    "A TICKED OFF BITCH WHO'S GOING TO UNLOAD THREE MORTARS-FULL OF WHOOPASS UP YOUR ASSES UNLESS YOU OPEN UP, AND I MEAN RIGHT NOW!" Jewelry 'Big Eater' Bonney shrieked at the top of her lungs, making a credible attempt to set the tacky skull glaring down at her ship on fire with her eyes.

    Equal, in that ordinary pirates would rather jump into a pool full of sharks covered in bloody shreds of meat than risk ticking her off. So immediately following her outburst, the skull's armored eye cover slammed shut to guard their inhabitants.

    "Eesh, we thought you were one of the funner Supernovas. What gives?" someone called out from the skull.

    "We ran into that blockade a week before your dumb birds found us and the bastards managed to hit our pantry!" Bonney spat, even as she gestured for her crew to sail them in. "You try keeping a positive attitude after seven days and nights of hardtack and salt-dried Sea King!"

    "Eesh…" the wince was audible in the other voice. "Well, we'll warn the nearest restaurants you're coming in. Just make sure you bring enough to pay and there'll be no problems."

    "I'm taking a big chance coming here instead of to the closest actual island," Bonney growled, more to herself than anyone else. She paced like a caged Sea King, each crack of her knuckles a gunshot ringing through the air. "There damn well better not be, or so help me I'm going to tear a strip clean out of—!"

    "The main docks are to starboard and the meeting between the Supernovas is tomorrow," the gatekeepers interrupted, the gate opening while they spoke. Bonney promptly waved her crew forward. They responded with impatient gusto, almost as eager to get quality food as their captain. For a few moments, Bonney allowed herself to relax; it was only as long as it would take to reach the city, then they'd be free to gorge.

    Then she noticed some of the ships ahead. One in particular: the Thousand Sunny. Her mood lifted a bit, one corner of her mouth curving upward into a smirk. Well, she wouldn't get a better chance than this to prove that she was superior to Straw Hat in at least one way.

    And then she caught sight of something out of the corner of her eye and turned toward the wall. She blinked several times in surprise… then turned back toward the gatehouse and called a warning:

    "Uh… just so you guys know, there are dragons flying over the walls."

    And indeed, there was a full-blown… flock? Storm? Pack? Whatever of large, green and furry dragons flapping over the island's protective wall and gathering in a circle over the parked ships.

    Now, Bonney had sailed Paradise from start to finish, so she'd come to expect a lot from the madhouse of an ocean…

    "Huh? The scouting party's back already?" One of the voices in the gatehouse called out. "Thanks for letting us know!"

    But that response was most definitely not one of them. And neither was the telltale click of a Tone Dial being activated, followed by the strum of violins and a chorus of horns.

    "Scouting…" Bonney repeated incredulously, turning back toward the feathered creatures. Then she fished out her spyglass to take a closer look, and her expression sank back into a scowl.

    "Dragon-riding dugongs. Are you kidding me?"

    "Any chance that this could just be starvation-induced delirium, Captain?" called one of her crewmates.

    "Nil," she responded. "And Oriol?"

    "I know, I know, I'll scribe everything that I can," the young scholar responded, already heading for his cabin to retrieve his writing materials.

    "Lucca, scan the island. If the Straw Hats are here, then their chef is here; with any luck, we can get him to make us a meal."

    "Ah, Captain?" said lookout called down from the crow's nest. "The good news is I can see him… and the bad news is that those dragon-riding Dugongs seem to be heading straight for—oh, that explains it. That's Boss and his apprentices… I think the Straw Hats might have lost track of them recently."

    Bonney cocked an eyebrow at her crewmate. "The hell makes you say—?"

    "LEAVE US BEHIND LIKE A PILE OF CUT OFF BLUBBER, WILL YOU!?" screamed Hera after finding another one of Zeus' infidelities, punctuated by blasts of flame and shockwaves of razor-sharp air rolling out from the Thousand Sunny. "CHOKE ON MY BLADES YOU PRETENTIOUS SWIRLY BROWED BASTARD!"

    "GO, LEO, GO!" a trio of equally enraged voices shouted in support.

    "...educated guess," Lucca finally said.

    The Big Eater curled and uncurled her fingers, idly wondering if maybe she wouldn't have been better off not coming to what was obviously some sort of madhouse…

    SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!

    And then three impacts strong enough to rock the entire ship struck in rapid succession. Bonney spun to the source, somewhere off the stern quarter—and stiffened at the frog Sea King leering at her. Once it saw that it had her attention, however, it flicked its webbed hands in an impatient manner.

    "Is… Is that thing communicating with us?" asked another Bonney pirate.

    "Yes… and he is saying 'you're holding up the line'," Bonney blandly replied. For a couple of seconds, nobody moved. Then Bonney's smirk returned in full force for the first time in days.

    "Oh, yeah. I am definitely going to like it here."

    -o-​

    "Well, it certainly seems like you and your boys are doing nicely," Captain Dugong stated casually, taking a pull from his flask before passing it off to Boss Dugong.

    Boss took a swig of his own around an appreciative hum. "Ahhh, Brewer's Seaweed Mix, I'd forgotten how hooked I was on the stuff." He then nodded in agreement with his old friend. "And yes, yes we have. What was your first clue?"

    "The fact that we've all made it this far?" Donny offered as he wound a roll of gauze around a newly forming bruise.

    "Followed by the fact that you haven't lost anyone yet?" Raphey added as she cracked her neck and popped her joints.

    "Followed by the fact that we all have bounties while you lot don't?" Mikey needled as he loaded fresh shots into his pistols.

    Before Captain could reply to the snide remark with one of his own, the conversation was interrupted by Leo slamming onto the decking in front of them, massaging his freshly kicked muzzle.

    "Ugghh… aaand then we've got the dragons," he groaned. "What's the story behind them? Also, tag out."

    "I'm on it," Raphey casually stated, drawing her shuriken and spinning it up. "PREPARE TO EAT YOUR OWN SHOE LEATHER, YOU BASTAAAARD!" And with that warcry she shot into the air at the amphibians' current foe.

    Captain stared up at the renewed aerial duel with a slightly cocked brow. "Call it a feeling…" he mused.

    "The dragons… heh, that's quite the story," First Mate chuckled, offhandedly flinging a Blue-Fin Elephant Trout at the pair of dragons roosting on their ship's yardarms. "At the start of that whole Strong World fiasco, we figured out pretty fast that they were after the East Blue. We cut through the Calm Belt to get there in a hurry…" The amphibian unconsciously rubbed a fresh bandage on one flipper. "And we had a couple of close run-ins on the way… but we made it with time to spare. We stole a Visual Snail to keep an eye on the show, but the second we saw you guys come flying in, we knew that we had made that trip for nothing."

    "So we decided to make the most of it," Captain picked up, flashing a smile and a thumbs-up at another dragon flapping by. "Looked around for a bit, and came by an island that had rock formations that looked like battleship sails where a whole ton of dragons like the one that other captain… what was it, Black Bart? The one he was riding. Anyway, we actually have you guys to thank for all this: apparently, every millennium the Dragons spend their first new decade of reincarnation having fun and stretching their wings, and your SBS broadcast convinced the entire flock to give the pirate scene a try."

    "And since we were Grand Line natives who were insane enough to go through the Calm Belt to try to help defend their nesting grounds, they decided we were crazy enough to satisfy their needs," First Mate finished. "And as insane as they can be sometimes? It's been pretty nice having the Millennials around."

    "BWAHAHAHAHEEHEEHEEHOOHOOHOO!"

    All present spared Soundbite's bout of cackling a bare few seconds of attention before shrugging and returning to their business. Said business being briefly interrupted by Raphey careening head-first into Donny's skull, laying them both out flat into a groaning heap on the deck.

    Mikey sighed, stood, and began spinning up his nunchucks. "Alllllright, seeing as you've twisted my flipper, I'll go ahead and handle him for you, okay?"

    "Pray he kills you, or else I will…" Raphey snarled weakly, shaking a flipper at her teammate.

    "Gyeep! Uh, uh… HEY, SANJI!" Mikey hollered up at the cook in a blind panic. "I INTENTIONALLY MADE THE LAST BATCH OF TIRAMISU RUNNY TO FUCK WITH RAPHEY!"

    "You what!?" both the chef and the female dugong snapped.

    "Oh, I immediately regret this decision…" the orange-bandanna'd dugong whimpered.

    "Too late," Boss deadpanned, grabbing the back of his apprentice's shell and throwing him to the crew's third strongest before he could run.

    "AAAGH!"

    Boss casually dusted his flippers off as he returned to his old friend's side. "As you can see, the boys' attitudes haven't changed much."

    "Never doubted it. But what about you, Boss?" First Mate inquired. "You and your boys don't even need dragons to fly, you've taken your strength to a completely different level."

    "Ah, it's easy to achieve," Boss said dismissively, rubbing off his 'knuckles' on his chest-shell. "All it takes is twelve hours of exercise a day, a steady diet of Sea King livers, dodging the crossfire of your crew's cook and mosshead…" He smirked and pulled a scroll from his shell. "And a government assassin stupid enough to leave an annotated guide to their superhuman abilities laying around!"

    That got a laugh from the other two dugongs that Boss joined in on almost immediately. By the end of it Captain Dugong was leaning on the wall and slapping the thick muscles at the base of his tail, and after a bit, he wiped a tear from his eye and heaved a contented sigh. "Ahhh, man have I missed you…" His expression suddenly turned serious, the last of the mirth fleeing. "Missed you enough that I honestly have to ask: this far into the Line, after becoming so strong… any chance you and yours could come back and go the rest of the way with us? You did technically join the Straw Hat crew as a tribute, so there'd be no shame in it."

    Boss hummed, and for a short time he seemed to be actually considering it…

    "OH GOD THE PAIN!"

    CRASH!

    And then Mikey slammed through the wall above him. Or, at least, his head did.

    "Oooh, don't everyone get up at once for my sake…" the chuck-wielder's muffled voice groaned through the water-soaked wood.

    Donny shook his head with a defeated sigh. "Alright, you dolts, seeing as I'm next up to bat, I'm going to do what none of you chumps have been smart enough to do until now."

    "Oh, yeah?" Leo intently side-eyed his brother-in-shell. "And just what would that be?"

    "Simple: say the three words that will actually give us a chance of victory." Donny jabbed his staff at Sanji, a furious scowl knotting his brows. "RUSH HIS ASS!"

    "YEAH!" Leo and Raphey roared, stabbing their weapons in the air.

    "YEAH!" a spontaneously revitalized Mikey roared as he shoved his way out of the wall and joined his squadmates. "WE MAY GO DOWN, BUT WE WILL TAKE HIM DOWN WITH US! CHAAAARGE!"

    And with that, the martial-artist dugongs leaped at the ship's cook…

    THWACK! CRACK! CRUNCH!

    And immediately came to regret it.

    "THE PAIN! OH SWEET SOBEK THE PAIN!"

    "MY SHEEEELL!"

    "WE'RE NOT TAKING HIM WITH US!"

    Boss watched the beatdown in silence before slowly donning a fond smile. "Sorry, Chief. Call me a sentimental old barnacle, but… I think we're gonna stay with these landlubbers for a while longer."

    "NOT THE FACE! NOT THE FAAAACE!" There was a crackling sound. "BACK TO THE FACE! BACK TO THE FAAAACE!"

    A sly grin slowly spread across Boss's muzzle. "Oh yeah," he chuckled. "A long while longer."

    "Heheheh!" Captain Dugong chuckled, shaking his head. "Ahh, I expected nothing less, but as I said, had to ask."

    "Though, if you're not coming back…" First Mate said. "Any chance you could teach us that newfangled Full-Shell Style of yours?"

    Boss scoffed and pounded his fist into his palm. "How's this for a compromise: I wail on you with said style until you figure it out for yourself."

    "Haaaaa…" Captain Dugong sighed wistfully as he slung his flipper around Boss's shoulders. "I've missed you, you old ass."

    "Same here, you second-rate schmuck. Same here."

    -o-​

    "Oooh, kebabs! Hey, can we—?"

    "No," we all chorused.

    Luffy sagged miserably. "Awww…"

    "There, there, Luffy," I said, comfortingly patting his shoulder. "You'll just get the skewers stuck in your throat again anyway."

    "But I'm so close to figuring it out!" he whined, giving me the most watery puppy-dog eyes he could manage… which would have been infinitely more effective if I didn't know exactly what he was capable of.

    "Er… what, exactly, is he 'so close' to?" Porche asked hesitantly, peeking over her sunglasses and shoulder simultaneously.

    "How to only eat the meat but none of the vegetables," Nami deadpanned.

    Porche stared at the navigator wide-eyed for a moment before hastily looking ahead again. "And to think, I was just starting to wonder what it would be like to be on the main crew. And just like that, now I'm not."

    "Huh, wonder why that is?" Luffy questioned innocently.

    "Uh, hey now!" I hastily cut in, latching onto the intriguing sight that greeted us around the latest corner. "P-Marcedes, isn't this one of the other inns you mentioned?" It had to be. In a city of shipwrecks, few things stand out quite like a seven-tiered pagoda tower. Admittedly a pagoda made out of flotsam, but still!

    "Oh, yeah, Oden's Cottage," Porche answered, tilting her head back to admire it properly. "Don't know too much about it; the Boss has had me focusing on the big picture overview of the city and setting things up for you guys. But it looks about as high-class as you can get in a place like this, and the class of clientele that's come through supports it."

    "Mmm… almost certainly themed after Wano," I muttered, though I hastily shook my head at the interested look Zoro sent my way. "But I doubt that the ones I know of from there would be on this side of the Red Line. Though…" I frowned in confusion. "That does beg the question of who did make this place; if it were just some wannabe, they couldn't afford something like this, and the only people with funds who could actually have been to Wano would also have to be from—"

    Once again, the Grand Line displayed its impeccable timing by throwing the doors to the inn open and violently expelling two men. A second later, the person who was presumably responsible for said impromptu flight stepped out right behind them.

    I took in his visage. If I hadn't had my memory refreshed, odds are good that I would have just nodded politely at the transvestite and moved on. But I had, and so I knew exactly who I was looking at.

    "Whoa, hold up!" I hissed, grabbing Luffy and Barto's collars before they could go any further.

    Nobody objected, and judging by the tension in those of us more… informed, they recognized him, too.

    "Alright, I'll give you two a chance to explain now. What was the fight about?" the onnagata demanded, impatiently tapping his geta on the decking.

    "He attacked me without any provocation!" the more dignified-looking of the two said, indignantly indicating his more disheveled companion, who was still picking himself up. "All I did was bring up my profession! I'm a lawyer, you see—"

    WHAM!

    "I am so sorry for jumping to conclusions, sir," the innkeeper apologized humbly to the other patron as he helped the 'innocent' man to his feet, completely ignoring the now-concussed lawyer. "If you want to come back inside, the next round is on the house."

    "Heheh, thanks. Knew there was something I liked about you! Sides' the dress, I mean," the other pirate slurred, limping back into the bar.

    "It's a kimono!" the innkeeper called after the customer, though he was smiling all the while. The innkeeper's smile stayed in place as he turned his attention to us. Not noticed us, mind you, because I would bet hard cash that he knew we were here before he opened the door. Even odds that he knew where we were the second we set foot on the street.

    "Ahhh, the Straw Hat Pirates and the Barto Club Pirates." He smiled and bowed with the utmost Japa—er, Wano politeness. "I've been expecting you."

    Luffy blinked in surprise at the greeting, but then he brightened up and oh that idiot he'd better not—! "Hey, I recognize you! You're like Mister Two! What did he say he was… oh right! An o—!"

    "Shut-him-up-shut-him-up-shut-him-up!" I babbled in a blind panic, blurring my hand across my throat.

    "He's shut up," Soundbite confirmed, snickering as he watched Luffy and Barto mime and flail in silence. "THEY BOTH ARE, EVEN. GEEZE, WHAT GOT STUCK in your craw? Do you just not want your name associated WITH SOMEONE'S LIFESTYLE?"

    "We've been over that, and we've been over this: I don't tick off anyone who can gut me like a pig unless they actively piss me off first!" I snapped, keeping a wary eye on the innkeeper. Thankfully he still looked amused by the ongoing shenanigans rather than upset, and damn if I didn't want to keep it that way!

    "Oh? Is that so?" Nami questioned oh so innocently, her demeanor perfectly laid back, while her Eisen Tempo started to sag towards the decking and—

    "My oh my, lightning from below? You are quite clever, aren't you?" the innkeeper chuckled casually. To her credit, Nami barely flinched, but that was enough that Luffy stopped his flailing and gave Soundbite a look that got the snail to flinch and nod in respect.

    "Who are you?" Straw Hat Luffy asked, not a hint of his usual irreverence.

    "Oh, my manners escape me… though it's a bit disheartening that Ace hasn't told you about me," he replied. None of the annoyance implied by his words showed in his polite expression, and nor when he bowed at around 45 degrees. "I am Izo, manager of Oden's Cottage. It is an honor to meet you, Captain 'Straw Hat' Luffy, and you, Captain 'Black Bart' Bartolomeo."

    "He also left out the part where he's the Sixteenth Division Commander of the Whitebeard Pirates," I stated as blandly as I could manage. Everyone present stiffened and stared at the painted man. "And while I'm more inclined to trust you than not, at this point I've pissed off so many people that it's a bit hard to keep track of who does and doesn't want my head. If you could just guarantee I'm not talking to a New World pirate who's got some reason or other to pop my skull…?"

    Izo chuckled goodnaturedly. "Believe me, Jeremiah Cross, I know how you feel. But worry not, the Whitebeard Pirates have nothing against either you or the Straw Hats."

    I didn't bother to muffle my sigh of relief, and neither did Nami or Porche. Hell, I could even see some of the tension leave Zoro and Gin. Only some mind you, but hey, gotta be realistic.

    "Still," Zoro grunted, crossing his arms and giving the kimono-wearing pirate a once-over. "Whether you want to give Cross what's coming to him or not—"

    "GO CHOKE ON ICHIMONJI!"

    "—what brings a Division Commander out here? I thought that New World pirates didn't bother with Paradise?"

    "That is indeed the case with most New World pirates. Which, in fact, is the entire reason I am here," Izo sagely answered. "We established this inn to act as an embassy for the Whitebeard Pirates here in Paradise. Marco founded it a few weeks ago, and I've been… establishing matters, as it were. I have a couple of weeks left before I trade off with Kingdew." He then stepped up to the inn's entrance and slid the door open, gesturing into the building. "But while I am here, the Captain left specific orders on how to treat your crews if we were to cross paths. Please, come in and we can continue the conversation."

    While Luffy and Barto merely shared a momentary glance before shrugging and entering with grins on their faces, the rest of us were far more uneasy, because we could tell that that 'request' wasn't really a request at all. So it was a tense group that entered behind our beloved dumbasses.

    The inside was about as clean and polished as a construct of repurposed seacraft with a customer base of pirates could be. It was a spacious area with staircases on the ends, rice paper screens for the doors and windows, and numerous lap tables around the area. A raised bar was off to one side, the better to mix and prepare drinks, and the patron that Izo had invited back in was seated at it.

    The center of the room was slightly elevated with another lap table, and a small fountain with a tall bamboo stalk growing out of it was situated in the middle of the table. On top of it all, the clunk of a, what was it… right, the clunk of a shishi-odoshi echoed from the higher levels of the tower, perfectly tying the inn's atmosphere together.

    As we walked through the foyer and the patrons respectfully parted before us, it became clear that Izo was leading us to a more isolated room than the foyer. Specifically, he led us over to the back wall, which was lined with… hm, what were they called agai—?

    "Shōji."

    Right, the shōji-covered wall, and slid it aside to reveal a staircase.

    "The meeting room is on the fifth floor; six and seven are reserved for the management of the inn, while two through four all hold twelve bedrooms each. If you do not have arrangements elsewhere, I could arrange a generous discount for your stay here," Izo explained, moving his sleeve in front of his mouth to hide his oh so innocent smile.

    "Sorry, but The Lucky Rabbit has you beat at 'free'," Nami replied with an equally innocent-looking smile.

    Izo paused between steps, but briefly before chuckling again. "Of course, you would naturally have favor with the owner for making this possible in the first place. Well, you can't blame me for trying."

    "Just watch me~" Nami sang.

    "Heeey, wait a minute," Porche cut in as we started climbing the stairs. "Three floors with twelve rooms each, that's only thirty-six rooms. Isn't that kind of small for a high-class inn?"

    "It's a work in progress," Izo replied with a dismissive wave of his hand. "We've prioritized quality over quantity, so the construction takes longer. Once we've added another few floors, we'll move to expanding outward. Probably buy out a few extra lots and build some new locations. We'll see how it goes. For now, you can enjoy the luxuries of our fine establishment for only—"

    "We've already bought out a full wing of The Queen's Blessing, sorry," Porche chuckled apologetically.

    "…as I was saying, the meeting room is just ahead."

    Thankfully, the aura of pure murder that Izo was emitting by that point was enough to ensure that no one but the biggest idiots (read: Luffy and Barto) even showed any mirth at his second strikeout. About a minute of climbing later found us standing on the fifth floor, a pair of actual, ornate wooden doors greeting us.

    Izo stepped up to the doors and grasped the golden rings that served as doorknobs, but didn't open them. Instead, he just stood there, a slight grimace on his face.

    "I would like to take this moment to reiterate that I hold no ill will towards any of you. The ones waiting inside merely wish to discuss something with you all, and are aware that if they attempt anything…" Izo waved his hand uncomfortably. "Untoward, then I will deal with them personally. Even so, I would advise against provoking them unnecessarily…" He hung his head with both a tired sigh and a wistful smile. "Beyond the inevitable, at any rate."

    I eyed Izo warily, a nasty suspicion sinking into my gut. "And you're reassuring us this much because…?"

    The grimace on Izo's face deepened. Great. "Because I have no doubt that someone as well-informed as you is going to recognize who these people are and, more specifically, who they represent."

    "What are you—?!" Before I could complete my question, Izo gave the doors a firm push, displaying the extensive meeting room within and, more importantly, the occupants, the sight of which forced me to choke a blue streak dead in my throat. "Oh, you painted bitch."

    "Yeah, not inaccurate, I'll accept that." Wincing, Izo cleared his throat to get the attention of the occupants. I took the opportunity to shove down my first reaction—panic—and actually look at the inhabitants.

    Because while I might not have known all of the people in the room, I sure as hell recognized where I had seen all of them. There were four people waiting in the room, and my eyes immediately fell on the two sitting at the central table, currently engaged in arm wrestling. One was a tall man with white hair and a long fur cape, a sword sheathed on his back, horns on his head that I had a sneaking suspicion weren't just decorative, and muscles bulging out from his shirtless frame. The other…

    "Is that Elton John?"

    I opened my mouth to rebut the snail, but on a second look... mane of golden hair, sunglasses, and a plump body wearing a hot pink suit? I might have been willing to concede Soundbite's point, except for one small detail: he was a freaking lion, claws digging into his opponent's hand to try to get some sort of advantage.

    I recognized Pekoms instantly, of course, and though I'd only gotten a few panels of him, it was hard to mistake who Sheepshead was either, as well as the looming implication of who he represented. Of course, the giant belt buckle bearing the horned skull of the Beast Pirates' Jolly Roger also helped.

    "GRAH! You fuzzy little cheating shit, you're using fucking Electro! Fight like a fucking man you unshaved pussy!"

    "CHE! Except that I'm not a man, I'm a lion, and proud of it! Go get shorn, you wannabe ungulate! If a Headliner like you is complaining about a little bit of static like that, from an unranked pirate like me, then maybe your horned freak of a boss should beg Mama for mercy right now!"

    "You are fucking dead you little piece of—!"

    The blatant shitslinging on display was just the exclamation point.

    Meanwhile, the two other figures in the room were a similar case: the long-legged tea-sipper Baron Tamago, and a woman with an hourglass figure, magenta hair with similar horns to the man, and… not much clothing. Just a cape that went halfway down her back, a pair of gloves, and bare minimum coverings for her chest and waist. But given the brutalist tribal design of what she was wearing, it was pretty obvious who she was affiliated with. And that just added another exclamation point to the situation.

    Somehow noticing the way I stiffened up like someone had poured liquid nitrogen down my spine, Porche surreptitiously leaned my way and hissed out the corner of her mouth, "Spill, Cross, who are they?"

    "At this moment, death incarnate," I groaned, glancing skyward. So, this was how I died? Crossfire between four New World Pirates against one? Really?!…Ignominious as all hell, but meh, I suppose that my negative karma had to come calling eventually.

    If you're wondering how we had enough time for this brief exchange, it was because even after Izo cleared his throat, the New Worlders ignored them in favor of the 'casual'—or as casual as wood splintering beneath their elbows could be—contest.

    Frowning in irritation, Izo cleared his throat again, this time more insistently.

    "Gnrgh, and your fucking claws too!? I'm going to turn your rancid pelt into my crotch-warmer!"

    "Get bent, you halfbreed shit, I'll snap your horns off and use them as toothpicks!"

    Again, none of them reacted. Scowling, Izo crossed to the other side of the room and pulled a cord. Now, I may not have had Haki, but that didn't mean I couldn't take a hint that something bad was going to happen. Also, after near to a year with Soundbite on my shoulder, I'd developed more than a few… specific instincts. So when all of my instincts suddenly blared a five-alarm warning all at once, you can bet I slammed my headphones over my ears damn tight.

    As it turned out…

    BWOOOOOOOOONG!

    My instincts were damn right.

    Seriously, Big Ben this pagoda was not, but that gong was definitely trying its best to the get the whole city vibrating. Since my ears were thankfully protected, I can't say how well it succeeded, though did it feel like my teeth were trying to shake themselves loose from my mouth.

    My crewmates, though… well, actually, everyone apparently had enough experience with me to follow my example, even Luffy. Though that wasn't quite as funny as it could have been seeing as he did have his serious face on… geez, I wasn't sure if it was a good thing or not that he recognized the threat those guys represented.

    I slipped off my headphones to hear Izo chuckling. "I love this thing."

    A cry of "WE KNOW!" echoed throughout the tower.

    Soundbite shot Izo a sidelong glare, though the 'threat' was undercut by his smirk. "WHAT EXACTLY IS stopping us from suing you for plagiarism?"

    "Why, the fact that any authorities either of us tried to approach would shoot us on sight on sheer principle, of course," Izo smiled back ever so innocently.

    "TUSHEE."

    "That's 'touché'," Porche corrected.

    "Whatever."

    A sharp clap sounded out, drawing everyone's attention to Izo. "Now then!" he said, the smile he wore while indicating our party to the gathered pirates decidedly brittle. "Men, lady. Allow me to introduce to you the captains of the Straw Hat and Barto Club Pirates, Monkey D. 'Straw Hat' Luffy and 'Black Bart' Bartolomeo, along with their crew's officers. Straw Hats and Bartos… well, I'll let Cross do the honors."

    That put me in the center of attention, attention that I could best describe as 'simmering on the verge of boiling'. In that moment, I silently vowed that before we were done on this island, come hell or high water I would see a Commander of the Whitebeard Pirates brought to his knees!

    But for now, I settled for gritting my teeth and pointing out names and faces one by one, starting with the pair I was most familiar with, and from there starting with the… apparently more threatening of the two, if the lion's earlier ranting was anything to go by. "The Long-Legs Man is Baron Tamago—"

    "Bonjour." The awkwardly half-crouched half-seated man tipped his… 'hat' politely, staring at us over the lip of his eggshell-pants.

    "C'est un peu tard pour ça, mon ami," I blandly replied, and as the Frenchman's eyebrows shot up I pointed at the lion. "And the lion is Pekoms."

    "Hey, you brat! You think just because you're hot stuff you can address us so casually!? Show us some respect!" the lion snarled, taking a step towards us. Despite my bravado, I would have taken a step back if he wasn't… well…

    I could feel the word 'cute' echo throughout the room, though thankfully a sharp glance at Soundbite kept that feeling from becoming real.

    "The two of them are members of the Big Mom Pirates…" I said once the feeling passed. "Which seriously begs the question of 'how in the hell—'?"

    "Après—Repeated assurances that we would act within the frontières of this island's laws, that this would be our crew's one and only visit to cette île, and an acceptance of le fait that while we were here we would not set un pied beyond the threshold of this building and that once our task was completed we would depart from the island within the hour, all to be enforced with the threat of either exécution or a fate worse than—midi," Tamago summarized.

    "Alright then…" I pointed at the horned goliath. "And as for the other two, the quarter-giant is known as Sheepshead—"

    "Hurry it along, you little shit," the white-haired man sneered.

    "And the woman… yeah, I've got jack."

    To her credit, her only outward reaction was a slight twitch in her cheek. "Ginrummy," she said, and that was that.

    "And in case pretty much everything about them didn't make it clear enough for you, they're members of the Beast Pirates. Kaido's crew."

    "…So, what you're saying is that we're in the same room as representatives of three of the Four Emperors of the New World," Gin summarized, sounding calm but his body language matching the general mood of we Paradise rookies: quivering in preparation to bolt.

    "You oughtta be honored," Sheepshead snorted. "Don't think there's ever been a crew that impressed the Captain enough that he sent someone all the way to Paradise to meet them."

    "Bien—Such is the case with maman as well—sûr," Tamago nodded, though if the way his head was angled towards the white-haired brute, said 'agreement' was... begrudging, to say the least. "Pas de—Though, let it be noted that this is just a meeting, and rien de plus. Whatever you give us, we shall give to our superiors and they shall decide what comes next—problème…" He leaned forward. "Dans le Nouveau Monde."

    "So, if you wouldn't mind stepping in so we can talk properly…?" Ginrummy prompted.

    "I'm… sorry that I have to agree with these individuals," Izo grumbled mutinously, ignoring the glares the less restrained 'diplomats' shot at him. "But it would be for the best. As matters stand, I have something I need to discuss as well. Shall we?"

    Izo led the way inside, moving to a side of the table away from the ill-tempered envoys. The rest of our group followed. Porche hesitated a bit before stepping in—

    "Hey, hang on, you're one heavy!" Pekoms snarled, trying (and failing) to look menacing by shoving up his sunglasses. "Who's the broad in the hoodie?"

    Porche flinched and tugged nervously at her collar. "Uhh—"

    "Porche, co-First Mate of the Foxy Pirates. No bounty," Ginrummy listed dismissively, not even giving the Davy Back Fight expert a second glance.

    "W-What!?" Porche yelped. "How did you—?!"

    "Nobody important, then, got it," Sheepshead interrupted with a bored grunt, and before anyone could react he raised his hand—

    SKRANG!

    And everyone and everything came to a screeching halt. The most affected was Porche, whose eyes were crossed to stare at the distended center of Luffy's hand, parked a few… let's be honest, nanometers in front of her forehead. As fast as the bulge was there, it immediately snapped back into Luffy's hand, and he let a roughly spherical lump of metal that had moments before been a simple coin drop to the ground, the clink of copper on wood almost deafening in the silence.

    "Porche. Go back to your boss," Luffy ordered quietly.

    The very pale diva nodded and left so fast I could've sworn she'd learned how to Shave.

    "What was that for?" Luffy growled as soon as she was gone, his tone and expression only slightly less hateful than after he'd seen what Eneru had done to me.

    Meanwhile, Sheepshead, possessing all of Bellamy's arrogance and the strength to get away with it, all while lacking any of his future redeeming qualities, just leaned back in his seat and scoffed. "Parlor trick from the New World: a paid ticket to the afterlife. What do you care? She's a nobody, her life isn't worth—"

    Sheepshead—and everyone else for that matter—shut up and sat up when Luffy's glare crystallized into raw hatred and a hazy, yet somehow world-shaking snarl battered itself against our skulls.

    Unfortunately, while we Paradise pirates were left shivering and on the verge of consciousness, the New Worlders were distinctly un-shaken. Externally, anyway. One and all they were staring at Luffy with renewed intensity, and in Izo's case, genuine respect.

    Sheepshead was especially tense, his jaw and fists clenching and unclenching. Finally, he mastered himself enough to jerk his chin toward the seats. "Just… sit down already," he grit out.

    The mood at this point was distinctly electric, but everyone complied, leaving us arrayed across from the New Worlders. For several seconds, there was merely a barrage of tense glares… and the obvious trepidation of our incognito crewmate. Ultimately, the Beasts' other representative broke the silence.

    "To get straight to the point: Straw Hat, Black Bart, our captain, Kaido of the Four Emperors, has been thoroughly impressed with the tenacity of your crews. You've challenged the entire world, taken on insurmountable odds, and most impressively of all, you've never failed to get away with it. And trust me, if you know nothing about Kaido, then know that earning his respect in anything at all is…" Ginrummy noticeably stiffened, clearly choosing her words very carefully. "A feat. As such, we have been sent here for a… literally unprecedented purpose."

    "Captain Kaido, King of the Beasts and Strongest Creature in the World, has decided to give you worms the honor of a place among the ranks of the Beast Pirates," Sheepshead stated flatly, his tone somehow both dead and hostile simultaneously. "You'll be foot soldiers at first, but given your rate of growth, a few of the other Headliners think you could become one of us in a matter of months with the right training." The horned pirate raised his chin, the better to look imperiously down at us. "This is the biggest honor any Paradiser has ever been given. The fact that you shits aren't already kissing my feet and thanking me for giving you the time of day is insulting enough, but just this once, I'll let it pass."

    The room fell silent for a bit as the Beast Pirate's… well, I hate to say anything positive about the raging bastard, but fine, as his admittedly awe-inspiring words sank in. The silence was only broken when Pekoms coughed into his palm.

    "It's basically the same with us: In impressing Kaidou, you've impressed Mama, too," Pekoms nodded, looking at least somewhat calmer than before. "Your knack for succeeding against all odds was a big part of it, obviously. But the first thing to know about Mama is that she created Totland in hopes of founding a place where everyone could belong, regardless of species. As such, your seamless unity of all kinds of different people and animals on your crew has warmed her heart."

    I subtly shot a questioning look at Izo, who was standing behind the Mom Pirates, and was not surprised when he grimaced and crossed his arms in firm denial.

    Ignorant of the exchange, Tamago uncurled from his crouched position to tower above us, and swept his cane out and bowed toward us in a very polite gesture. "Grand—It is our immense honor to inform you that Captain Charlotte 'Big Maman' Linlin, hereby invites les Straw Hat Pirates et les Barto Club Pirates to become Combatants for the Big Mom Pirates—honneur," he announced. "Brilliant—Indeed, you are all un tout petit peu below the weight class of le Nouveau Monde at the moment, but soon enough, with the care and compassion of the great family that is our crew—"

    This got Izo grimacing and shaking his head with almost fervent disbelief.

    "—you would be counted among the elite of the entire ocean—avenir."

    Again, silence fell, the gravity of two of the Emperors' offers weighing on us, and Izo took the moment to step forward and present his two beris.

    "Needless to say, you've impressed Pops, too. That much you should know already. But none of us believe that you've changed your mind, or that you will, about sailing under our flag. Even so, many crews have sworn their loyalty to us without taking our flag. We would not ask the same of you, of course… without returning the favor." Izo inclined his head politely. "Captain Edward 'Whitebeard' Newgate, The Strongest Man in the World, has instructed me to offer the both of you an alliance between the Straw Hat Pirates, the Barto Club Pirates, and the Whitebeard Pirates. None greater than the other, simply a pledge of… you might call it 'brotherhood'," he finished with a wry smile.

    Almost before Izo finished, all eyes turned expectantly towards our captain. Three envoys of three of the four most powerful pirates in the New World had come to offer us a place amongst them.

    Really, as if it could go any other way. Luffy sat with his head bowed almost pensively for a minute or so. Then he raised one hand… and began picking his nose. "No thanks, we're good," he stated in a perfectly bored tone.

    "What he said, fuck off," Barty echoed, also digging for gold and sounding just as careless about it.

    Nami and Gin both dropped their faces into their hands with tired—but definitely not surprised—sighs, Zoro threw his head and barked out a laugh that was almost arrogant in its victory, and me? I smiled like an idiot and popped a pair of V-signs. "Better luck next time~!" I sang.

    "Or ne~ve~r!" Soundbite auto-chorused.

    As you might expect, that was when things broke into a horrible mess. At least Barty had the foresight to put up a barrier.

    CRACK!

    Correction: Thank Chaos Barty had the foresight to put up a barrier because otherwise, Sheepshead would have probably taken all of our heads clean off with the gleaming-black punch he'd just thrown at us, his face twisted in a rictus of rage.

    "You slavering braindead fuckwits!" he snarled, clawing his Haki-clad fingers into the cracks starting to form in the translucent barrier. "Even if these bastards' offers were ultimately worthless, you just got handed a front-row seat to the Beast Pirates' rise! You were home-fucking-free! But now? Now you're leaving this fucking island in a—!"

    CRACK!

    That was as far as Sheepshead got before Izo's hand lashed out like a whip and slammed into the side of the towering Beast Pirate's neck, sending him down with nary a gurgle. Though, his head did strike the table at a bit of an angle which resulted in a… regretful occurrence.

    "Tch, hotheaded brute's half as impulsive as his captain," Izo tsked to himself, before turning to address Ginrummy with a cocked eyebrow as he held up what had resulted from Sheepshead's fall. "By the way, these grow back, right?"

    The other Beast Pirate eyed the fractured horn the Whitebeard was holding and grimaced. "No. No, they do not."

    "Tch, serves the bastard right," Pekoms snorted, backing up the statement with a swift boot to the one-horned asshole's side. "Seriously, what did he mean, 'worthless'!? It's Mama who's going to be Pirate King, not the rabid thing he follows!"

    Izo snapped a frigid glare over his shoulder. "Am I going to have to put down two dumb animals in a row?"

    Pekoms most likely would have responded with something scathing, were it not for an overly long leg shooting out and slamming the lion-person's face into the floor. "Excusez—let's avoid restarting the age-old argument that's detruit so many islands in the past—nous," Tamago sighed wistfully. "Dieu—let us merely be heureux that he was le seul among us who was so idiot as to believe that this mission was ever intended to succeed, oui—merci?"

    "Huh?" Luffy blinked, his deadpan breaking for surprise. "Wait, you guys knew we'd say no?"

    "You sank Shiki's flying islands when he tried to get you all to bow, you told Whitebeard that you would never follow another captain, and in general you don't tend to take any nonsense from anyone," Izo summed up in a matter-of-fact tone of voice and with a carefree shrug. "It was rather implied that success would be a miracle, but failure was acceptable." He shot a scathing look at the yet-insensate Beast man. "Though clearly, not everyone managed to read between the lines."

    "IIIn our case, Mama did think you'd bend the knee…" Pekoms raised his finger from beneath Tamago's foot. "But we'll just pin it on you guys, we'll be fine. You all, not so much."

    "We wouldn't expect anything less," Gin hissed out irritably, seemingly split between glaring at Pekoms, for obvious reasons, and Barto, for getting him in this situation to begin with.

    "But hey, wait," Luffy whined, tilting his head in confusion. "If you all knew we'd say no, then how come you all asked us anyways?"

    "Eh, politics," Barto, of all people, answered. "Basically, it's a harmless way of telling the new kid on the block who the big fishes are. They say yes, some new muscle comes into the fold and everyone's happy. They say no, then they'll just bust their kneecaps down the line. Or, well..." He smirked as he buffed his nails on his coat. "Try and bust our caps, anyway. It, ah, never really worked that well against me, if ya catch my drift."

    "Oooh…" Luffy nodded sagely… before tilting his head again. "That's really dumb."

    Izo shook his head with a chuckle. "Maybe for these two bands of idiots—"

    "HEY!" the other Emperors' goons—the ones still conscious, at least—indignantly belted out.

    "—but that wasn't Pops' intention in the least. Obviously, we would have loved for you to accept, but we all expected a rejection. After all, if you would go against Shiki, it only makes sense you'd want to go the rest of the way on your own. Still…" Izo smiled politely and gave our captains a deep bow. "In spite of your decision, it is the hope of both myself and the Whitebeard Pirates as a whole that we can remain friends, both now and in the future." He looked up with a vicious grin. "Even after we Whitebeards soundly trounce the both of you so that we can make him the King of the Pirates."

    "Shishishi!" Luffy snickered and swiped his finger under his nose. "Sorry, that's not happening! I mean, from everything I've heard about him, Old Man Whitebeard sounds great and everything, and I'm really grateful to him for everything he's done for Ace, but I'm the one who's going to be King of the Pirates, not him."

    "Hell yeah!" Barto agreed. "I might not be nearly so dedicated, but I'm still the same stubborn son of a bitch I've always been. I ain't steppin' down for nobody nowhen no how. Not that golden asshole, not Luffy, and not that washed up geezer. We're fighting to the bitter end!"

    "We shall see," Izo said, his smirk growing larger. "After all, you would need to go through us to get to him, and last time I checked, you never managed to defeat Ace. What was it again…"

    "Hundred matches a day a person," I piped up, grinning malevolently as I swung back and forth on my heels. "And Luffy lost every one!"

    "HEY, SHUT UP, I WAS TEN!" Luffy's head suddenly shoved itself in my face, his eyes white with outrage. "I'M SEVENTEEN NOW, I COULD TOTALLY KICK BOTH THEIR ASSES!"

    "Except that now, they are both twenty," Nami sighed, the look she was giving him equal parts fond and annoyed. "Did you think about that?"

    Luffy froze for a solid half-minute in that same expression. "…shut up!" he finally snapped, glaring anywhere but at our navigator.

    For her part, Nami shook her head, chuckling fondly, before nodding to Izo. "Well, whatever the future brings, we thank you for your hospitality, Izo, but we should get going now; Lola will be expecting us."

    She then walked to the door and slid it aside so that we could exit. immediately, she let out a panicked gurgle and stumbled back several paces. From what I could see, it was likely because someone was standing in the doorway already. And that someone wasn't alone, either.

    Even the New World veterans were visibly unnerved by the twin masses of dark purple fog flanking the newcomer, pillar-shaped but otherwise unformed, a pair of glowing red eyes staring out from each. It had much the same intimidation effect as Nami's typical aura of clouds whenever she was upset… only Eisen Tempo sure as hell didn't come with a heaping dose of existential dread!

    Also? That newcomer was Lola, visibly pissed off, and it was an open question whether she or the Pillars were the scarier ones. Porche had filled in a few blanks on the way over: the Lockjaw Pirates were not the last to set foot on Skelter Bite, underestimate Lola, and discover the hard way that her shiny new ฿200,000,000 bounty was not something you got collecting bottle caps. The only things that could trigger a starting bounty of more than eight figures were an utterly unprecedented show of chaos, a close relative or ally that was already infamous, or a history in the New World and all the power that that implied. And the newly rechristened 'Mist Maiden' No-Family-Name Lola had ticked all three boxes.

    Lola's outfit had also evolved since last we'd seen her: she'd traded in her red jacket for a larger, more ornate captain's overcoat in navy blue, including a pair of golden epaulettes, and her bowler hat had been upgraded to an authoritative but nonetheless badass tricorne. The yellow jumpsuit had also been ditched for a pair of loose navy pants matching the jacket and…

    I squinted, almost not believing my eyes. Yeah, that was a bright orange Hawaiian shirt, liberally decorated with pineapples. Okaaaay. At least it wasn't Garp's Water 7 outfit.

    My inspection of Lola was hastily aborted when she glared at Baron Tamago, who hastily shot to as tall as the low ceiling would allow and crouched into a somewhat awkward bow. Honestly, all the position really did was emphasize the cold sweat coursing down his nose. "Sacre—a-ah, Lady Lola, so nice of you to grâce nous with your most belle, radieuse—!"

    "You've said your piece," Lola cut him off, her voice positively glacial. "They told you to fuck off, now I'm telling you to do the same. Get off my island."

    "—tout de suite—bleu," Tamago squeaked fearfully.

    "Yes'm," Pekoms squeaked in agreement, his head halfway sunk into his shivering torso.

    Ginrummy was equally swift to shoot to her feet, adjusting her cloak's collar with an uncomfortable cough. "Our, ah, our business is concluded as well. We'll just, uh." Reaching down, she effortlessly hefted Sheepshead's hulking, insensate frame onto her shoulders. "Be going, then. And, we'll, uh… give the Boss your best regards?"

    "Yes," Lola intoned frigidly, turning her unblinking stare on the other woman. "You do that."

    She stepped aside, allowing the Long Leg Man, the Beast and the unaffiliated, bastard-toting Beauty to… let's not sugarcoat it, they fled, the two Obelisks turning to watch them as they left. It spoke volumes that not one of them slowed or turned back.

    Satisfied, Lola turned to Izo. Instantly, her expression and the Obelisks both brightened, Lola bearing a bright smile and the Obelisks looking outright sunny as their bodies shifted to bright yellow and their eyes to a calm blue.

    "Izo, I really can't thank you enough for putting up with those… individuals for me. I honestly don't think there's any other establishment on Skelter Bite that could have been capable of supporting the likes of them. You did Skelter Bite a massive favor, and it's one the Skull Mist Pirates won't soon regret."

    "Not a problem, Lola, I assure you," Izo smiled in agreement, shaking the captain's hand. "Just keep providing a safe location where decent pirates can call home and we'll be even… although if there were any chance of accelerating our growth?"

    "I'll raise the Embassy's priority and cover 20%. That's the most I can offer," Lola said, and from the slight grimace in her expression, she meant it.

    "Fifteen is more than enough," Izo said with a grateful smile, earning one in return.

    Lola then turned her attention to us, her demeanor still perfectly sunny. "It's nice to see you all again, Straw Hats. I'm sorry about the circumstances under which we've met again, but at least that's a problem that's fleeing straight for a ship out. Anyway, I've already gone ahead and reserved the best rooms at the Lucky Rabbit for you guys to stay in."

    "Yeah, we heard. We were just heading there to check in, but these spoilsports here wouldn't let us run off," Bartolomeo groaned. And from the way he was pointedly staring at a ceiling beam, it was a bit hard to tell if he was talking about the spoilsports on our crews or the Emperors'.

    Lola smiled and waved him off. "We can talk later, Black Bart, but now that I've verified your presence, I'll call in ahead and let them know you're here while you go out and enjoy the town. Just don't go too wild unless you've got a fortune and are willing to spend it."

    That warning didn't do much to slow us down. Or at least, not Barty and Luffy, who charged out of the room without more than a rushed 'thanks' for her and a 'freedom!' towards our more responsible crewmates—or at least, Gin.

    The dead-eyed first mate in question rolled his eyes at the eager departure. "Screw it, he doesn't pay me enough for this…" he groused, heading out the door himself. "Mostly because he doesn't pay me at all." He paused in the doorframe and glanced over his shoulder at Lola. "You know someplace a sane guy can get a stiff drink in this place?"

    "Head back to the entrance of the island, take a right, then it's the second floor of the fourth galleon on your right. Shave and a haircut on the door with the skull nailed to it, and then bitch about your captain like you've never bitched before," Lola answered, a knowing smirk on her face.

    Gin cocked an eyebrow at her before shrugging and heading out.

    Lola maintained her positive demeanor as he left. And then the minute he turned the corner Lola's demeanor shifted dramatically. The room's atmosphere suddenly pressed in, the Obelisks reverting to darkened pillars.

    "Izo," the Mist Maiden intoned, her voice kept pointedly even. "I would like to request the room, please."

    The New World Pirate didn't even flinch as he gave Lola a deep bow. "As you wish, Governor-Captain Lola. Enjoy the facilities, try not to ruin them."

    "Hold up for a second, pale-face. You have any sake here?" Zoro cut in.

    "Realms of sake of which you cannot conceive," the onnagata smoothly answered, gesturing out the door. "Right this way, my good sir, and I'll see about getting you nice and sauced."

    Zoro's smirk stretched from ear to ear as he followed the New Worlder. "Finally, someone who speaks my language! Try not to die, you two."

    Before I could even think of cussing the bastard out, the sliding door slammed shut, and the air in the room became almost treacle-like as the Obelisks started gradually growing to loom over us.

    "Ophiuchus. Callie," Lola stated frigidly, her onyx fingertips tapping out a steady beat on her arms. "It's been awhile. Sit down, why don't you? We have…" Her teeth practically clicked from how hard she set her jaw. "Matters to discuss."

    Oh, fuck no.

    "Now Rabbit," I said in a calm and even voice as I slowly started to inch my way towards the window. A path which, incidentally, took me right behind Nami, who was thankfully focused entirely on Lola. "I understand that you have some grievances about recent events, and you are indeed justified in every last one of them. But before we do anything rash, I just want to say…" I stabbed a finger at Nami. "IT WAS ALL HER IDEA, I ADVOCATED WE TIE THE PALE BITCH TO THE PROW AND LET HER DROWN!"

    "WHAT!?" Nami screeched indignantly, whipping around to stare at me in a mix of betrayal and pants-wetting terror.

    "CHEESE IT!" Soundbite belted.

    "So long, sucker!" I declared, shooting her a hasty salute before diving headfirst out of the nearest window… which was five stories above the ground. Thank goodness Izo had hung a few lines of paper lanterns around his tower, or else I might have been in trouble.

    One improvised zipline later and I had a running start away from Oden's Cottage over, across, and through the nearby rooftops. Not that I needed it; between Nami, Lola, and the Pillars, I wouldn't have made it half as far if they'd had any real inclination to stop me.

    "…since when does that ACTUALLY work for us?" Soundbite wondered aloud.

    "Since we actually had no reason at all to actually leave that way, seeing as Nami already accepted the blame," I grunted out, puffing with exertion as I vaulted over an inverted keel.

    "OH YEAH, GOOD POINT… then why did we exfiltrate like that?"

    "Better question: why wouldn't we?"

    "Damn, two good points in a row, you're on a roll."

    "Thank you, thank you…" My acknowledgment was a bit offhand, on account of my thoughts drifting elsewhere, and it didn't take long for Soundbite to notice my pensive expression.

    "'Scuse the indignity, BUT you're not thinking that we should have ACCEPTED THOSE TWO BASTARD AND ONE relatively DECENT OFFERS, ARE YOU?"

    "Linlin and Kaido, hell no, they would quite literally eat us alive given the chance," I replied. "Whitebeard… I'm a little surprised that Luffy turned that down, but not a lot. I might have to think about working out something with Izo later, once I get permission from Luffy, anyway…" I mulled that notion over before shaking my head. "But no, what I'm thinking about right now is that of the Four Emperors, the only one whose representative wasn't there is the one that would want to meet Luffy the most."

    Soundbite blinked in realization. "You're right, that is strange."

    "I mean, sure, Shanks promised that he wouldn't meet Luffy again until he was ready to return his hat. But I refuse to believe that none of his men are here. Shanks could order them not to meet Luffy, but the Red-Haired Pirates love to party…" Out of ideas, I just shrugged. "And besides, if all three of the others were sending envoys, I wouldn't expect him to hold back, even if his crew is the smallest of the four. It's just weird."

    What followed were a few seconds of solemn thoughts. And no more than that.

    "WHO CARES!? WE GOT A WHOOOOLE ISLAND OF ADVENTURE WAITING FOR US, BABY! LET'S GET FREAKY!"

    I tipped my hat in agreement and picked up speed as a massive smile split my face. "Freaky it is! Let's start with a little familiar territory! Oh, Tashigi~!"

    -o-​

    It may or may not come as a surprise to you, dear reader, to learn that about a minute or so after most of the Straw Hats had vacated the area, a round man with a green and white striped shirt and a hunk of ham in one hand flopped out of a bar directly across from Oden's Cottage, staring blearily at the sky.

    "Woof… for wet-nosed Paradisers, these brats can drink…" the tubba-blubba groaned, punctuating the statement with a board-rattling belch. He then frowned, scratching at his gut. "'Cept that now I damn well forgot what I came here for in the first place. What was it, what was it… ergh, come on!"

    He scowled as he sat up and rapped his hunk of meat over his own head. "I should know this, I almost knocked little-bo-bastard's brains out over it on the docks, so what—OH YEAH!" He suddenly smacked his shank of meat in his palm with a massive grin. "Now I remember! I was supposed to—!"

    The man's train of thought was suddenly and harshly derailed when his nose twitched. Then it twitched again, and again, until finally the fatso's head snapped a clean 90 degrees to the side. "Is that Megaton Lobster I smell boiling?" He answered his own question by allowing a river of drool to pour past his massive smile. "Thank Bacchus, I'm starving over here! COME TO PAPA!"

    And so, with that exclamation (and a fresh mouthful of his shank of hog), he set off in search of gluttonous satisfaction.

    -o-​

    "The more I see of this place, the more I know Lola couldn't have built anything half as good as this if Galley-La wasn't helping out," Franky tsked, taking in a particularly precarious-looking arrangement of lifeboats that were acting as gondolas… or moving platforms, depending on how impatient the 'pedestrians' were.

    "You're telling me," Merry groaned, yanking her cap down over one of her eyes and bracing herself against Franky's head. "I'm getting dizzy just imagining how the pulled this all off. Almost makes me miss being 'just' a ship again, at least then I didn't get migraines."

    "Then…" Franky cocked an eyebrow at the tyke riding on his shoulder. "Maybe don't look at the migraine-inducing architecture any more than you have to?"

    "Mrgrgh, not a chance," the ship-girl responded with a firm shake of her head. "If they can do this, I want to learn how. I just need to find one that's getting built and I'll figure it out…" She grimaced again as they passed under a pair of pair of propped up, prow-to-prow cutters that were acting as a makeshift arch. "Assuming my orifices don't start leaking gray matter, anyway…"

    Franky frowned slightly, then snagged a nearby pedestrian. Said pedestrian turned around, clearly on his guard, but went still at the sight of Franky.

    "Yo. Any big buildings around here that are under construction?" he asked.

    The pirate blinked again before looking around and pointing. "I think the biggest project that's going on right now is the comedy club. Five, six buildings that way, you'll know it when you see it."

    "Thanks," Franky nodded.

    "UH! W-Wait, wait, before you go!"

    Franky jerked to a stop, the other pirate now holding his wrist and grinning sheepishly up at him. "You're, uh, you're Cyborg Franky, right? My girl's a huge fan of yours, and I mean, like, huge. Is there any chance you could, ya know…?"

    Merry hopped off Franky's shoulder and slammed her forearms together above her head. "SUPER!" she crowed.

    "SUPER!" the cyborg swiftly repeated, his wrists ringing proudly as he formed his trademark star.

    The surrounding audience for several meters applauded, jeered, mimicked them, or some combination of the three. It was a bit of a surprise that they weren't swarmed a bit more by fans; only a couple minutes' delay later, they were strolling up to a baker's dozen of half-dismantled ships surrounding…

    "…Is that one of Oars's bones?" Franky asked, mouth slightly agape.

    Merry, meanwhile, couldn't help but giggle. "I guess they wanted to go for structure and humor; that's one of his funny bones."

    Franky raised a brow at Merry. "You can tell that just at a glance? I know you soaked up a lot of Chopper's knowledge, but come on."

    "Don't forget, Big Bro: I'm a child. And that means that my brain is stuck in the stage where getting and storing new knowledge is easiest."

    The shipwright paused at that tidbit.

    After a minute, she shrugged. "…plus, again, I am a kid. It stuck in my head 'cause it was funny."

    Letting out a wry chuckle, Franky grabbed the back of Merry's coat and placed her back on his shoulders. "Come on, funny-girl. Let's get a closer look at this mess."

    Painted on a beached sailboat's skull, a masterful mural depicted a grand amphitheater of bone and wood. The half-circle stands were made out of semi-capsized ships, giant heads looming over the sterns. The mighty bone stood as a massive support column, sails painted with the usual masked duo, Comedy and Tragedy. And at the top was painted a very important announcement:

    "'Coming Soon: The Skelter Bite Comedy Club'," Franky read.

    "SHOULDN'T BE MORE THAN ANOTHER MONTH OR TWO BEFORE IT'S UP AND RUNNING!"

    The two snapped their eyes toward the familiar voice and were rewarded with a grinning bodybuilder with nails in hand coming out from one of the shipwrecks.

    "STRAW HATS! GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN!" the titanic man bellowed. He slammed a hand down on Franky's shoulder, crunching the decking beneath Franky but not fazing the cyborg in the least.

    "Same here, Tilestone, you old fart!" Franky laughed, jabbing a harmless punch into the caulker's iron-tough gut. "I thought you'd only leave Water 7 again in a flaming longboat! How's Ice-For-Brains holding up?"

    "DOING WELL! STILL TRYING TO FIND SOMEONE TO REPLACE KALIFA, IT'S TAKING AWHILE!" Tilestone chortled, rubbing the back of his head. "AND HOW COULD I NOT COME OUT HERE? SKELTER BITE IS LIKE A SISTER CITY TO WATER 7, OUR ENDGOAL MADE MANIFEST! PRETTY MUCH EVERY CARPENTER BACK HOME'S DECIDED TO MAKE A PILGRIMAGE TO THIS PLACE AT LEAST ONCE IN THEIR LIVES, SO THEY CAN TAKE NOTES AND BRING BACK THE EXPERIENCE!" He shook his head with a wistful sigh. "IT'S ONLY TOO BAD YOU GUYS SHOWED UP WHEN YOU DID. KIWI AND MOZU WERE DUE TO TAKE ME AND MY BOYS' PLACE AND HELP WITH STRIPPING SHIPS FOR PARTS A WEEK FROM NOW. THEY'RE GONNA BE CRUSHED THAT THEY JUST MISSED YOU."

    "Damn!" Franky tsked, snapping his fingers.

    "Aw, don't jump to conclusions, Big Bro," Merry 'consoled' him, though the fact that she was playing with his pompadour kinda ruined the sentiment. "We don't know how long we'll be waiting here before we can break through that blockade, we might still see them."

    While Franky pondered that, Merry turned back to Tilestone. "Anyway, we're here looking for a tour, hoping to get a better idea of your process. Could we watch as you build it?"

    "SURE! HECK, IF YOU WANT TO HELP OUT, THAT'D BE EVEN BETTER. WE NEED TO GET THE CENTRAL PILLAR BONE UPRIGHT BEFORE WE BUILD THE REST AROUND IT, AND EVERY HAND HELPS," Tilestone boomed, waving the pair into the construction site.

    "Well, alright, then! Let's get to it!" Franky crowed, carrying Merry with him into the field.

    As they walked, Merry glanced at Tilestone. "By the way, gray-hair, I was just wondering: what's with the lame name for this place? I mean, it's a comedy club, right? Shouldn't it be something, ya know, punny?"

    "MEHHH, IT'S A PLACEHOLDER AT THE MOMENT," Tilestone sighed in despair. "I HAD A FUNNIER NAME IN MIND, BUT LOLA VETOED IT! WHAT'S WRONG WITH 'FUNNY BONE CLUB'?"

    "Too generic for one," Franky said dismissively. "That's about as bland as 'comedy club.'"

    "Worse, even, because it's so lame and obvious," Merry sniffed primly.

    "WELL, THEN WHAT WOULD YOU CALL IT, IF YOU'RE SO FUNNY?"

    Merry shrugged indifferently. "The Humorous Humerus, duh."

    Franky and Tilestone both froze mid-step. "Poseidon take you, that's actually funny HEY, LISTEN UP!" the latter suddenly boomed out… louder than usual, anyways, thus grabbing the attention of all the workers. "FROM NOW ON, WE'RE CALLING THIS PLACE THE HUMOROUS HUMERUS! ANYONE GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?!"

    The peals of laughter that erupted from all the listening workers were more than answer enough.

    "TRAITORS…" Tilestone scoffed.

    "Nice one, little sis," Franky snickered.

    "Heheheh!" Merry giggled proudly. "Well, what can I say? We Straw Hats, we—!" She froze midword, blinking thoughtfully before adopting a grin that sent many a worker running. "Ohhh Soundbite~. I know you're listening, so if you please? Tell Cross that I'd like to speak on the SBS, ever so quickly."

    "Why?" Cross queried, dread obvious in his disembodied voice.

    "Just wanna make an observation is all~," Merry sang in a loose swashbuckler drawl. "Ya don't even have ta' introduce me or nothin', just let me say my piece and I'll let ye be."

    A pause, and then… "I hope I don't regret this… You're live, Merry. Say your piece."

    "Real quick, I'd just like to point out the fact that we've been funnier in the course of a year than Buggy the Clown has ever been over the course of his whole life."

    -o-​

    "A year? Merry, we've been funnier on the last two islands than that big-nosed freak has ever managed."

    "HARSH."

    "Tell me I'm wrong."

    "The kid—"

    "HA!"

    "—has a point."

    "POSEIDON'S HAIRY BALLS SHE DOES!" Buggy the Clown roared, drawing his chains just a little tighter around the neck of the blugori he was riding on the back of, causing its attempts to loosen the chains to intensify. Its painted face looked back at Buggy—sorta—which only meant—

    "OH, SO YOU WANNA STARE AT MY NOSE TOO!? I'LL SHOW YOU!"

    THUNK!     "GWOOOOORGH!"

    Buggy stabbed a stolen knife into each of the blugori's hands, forcing it to let go of the chains. The blugori did not take it well.

    Buggy's anger clouded his judgment in most cases, but prison had a tendency to change a person's perspective. He had come into the Government's gaol with his Muggy cannon shoes and with nobody aware of his Devil Fruit powers, and he was waiting for his opportunity to break out. He had enough clarity of mind to know that with the ruckus he'd already raised, his odds were nonexistent at this point, so he kept both of those advantages safely tucked away.

    That was the extent of his rationality, however, since he had still broken out of his cell and was taking out his anger on the nearest victim, and said victim was one of the berserk guards of the prison. Not to mention the fact that whether or not he was trying to escape, he was out of line, meaning that reinforcements were heading his way.

    Not that it seemed to matter for this particular blugori. Its thrashing was slowing, bleeding hands scrabbling uselessly at the chain around its neck and breathing slowing into a rattling wheeze. A fierce grin slowly spread across the clown's face, in spite of his burning rage, and he pulled tighter, channeling every drop of his ire into the strength in his arms.

    Finally, with one last gurgling wheeze, the Blugori slumped forward, pitching Buggy forward. He rolled, hopped to his feet, and gave the sea gorilla a hard kick in the side.

    "And serves you right, you damn monkey!" he spat. "I may not be able to get at that monkey, but you'll do for now. Now—"

    Buggy blinked, suddenly aware of the whispers washing over him. All around him, the prisoners of Level 1 stared in awe, each desperately telling their neighbor what they'd just witnessed.

    "—beat a Blugori—"

    "—beating he'll get! Doesn't he ca—"

    "—bleedin' Straw Hats, mate—"

    "Ahhhhh…" Buggy breathed, each careless whisper a soothing balm to his much abused-ego. "Thank you, thank you!" he called out, bowing to each cell. "You're too ki—!"

    "And you know, it makes me wonder if he can do anything right. The guy never managed to land a single clean hit on Luffy when they fought. This despite being skilled with one of the more effective weapons against rubber. Eh, I guess that's funny, at least: his weakness is a living joke," Cross shrugged.

    "Well, what do you expect? He wasn't even top three in the East Blue since Kuro was alive all along," Merry scoffed. She then paused for a second before her grin was broadcast around the world. "Oooops, did we forget to mention that? Yeeeaaah, total scam, he faked his death and hypnotized ol' Ax-Hand Morgan into taking in an equally hypnotized patsy! Good thing Luffy was able to cover for their incompetence, eh?"

    "Actually, Usopp said that on the second SBS. Didn't you hear him say it in person?" Franky asked dryly.

    "…WELP! I think that's good enough for us to end on. Ciao! KA-LICK!"

    It must be said that the former ruler of Skelter Bite had something in common with Buggy the Clown: he once sailed the New World with a formidable crew, he left the New World, and then he grew weaker, a threat only due to his powers.

    Another thing they had in common: if someone were to call them weak, they would get angry. Very angry indeed.

    The similarity ceased in that everyone knew that Moria had once been a true threat. Buggy may have been a mere cabin boy, but under a taskmaster like the Dark King, he wouldn't have sailed as far as he did on the Oro Jackson without being able to hold his own without relying on his powers.

    It would be a while yet before anyone outside of those who already knew his secret acknowledged this. But the berserk maniac that the Straw Hats' words left standing there, twitching in a very visible warning to 'get the hell away' as eight more blugoris made the very unwise decision to circle him, was about to give Impel Down a taste.

    "STRAAAAAW HAAAAAT!"

    In the end, Buggy the Clown was recaptured. But the fact that he managed to incapacitate two more blugoris and it took the remaining half-dozen to successfully dogpile him made sure that in less than a day, everyone in the Crimson Hell knew his name.

    -o-​

    "Poke… poke-poke… poke-po—"

    Zoro made a grab at the object poking his face with a growl and blinked in confusion when his hand whiffed through thin air. Then he clenched his eyes shut, letting out a miserable groan at the fact that he was conscious again, and as a result, he could now feel the return of the brain-mining dwarf years after he thought he'd banished the little bastard. "What the hell—?"

    "Oh good, you're alive. That means you can still hear me calling you an idiot."

    Zoro flinched again as the voice from before rammed another chunk of rebar through his head, "Whooo the…!?" He blinked heavily, forcing the haze clear of his vision. It only halfway worked, but it was enough for him to see the blur of brown standing above him. Not to mention give him an excuse to clench his eyes shut again. "Hello, Chopper…" he growled out.

    "Hello~, Zoro~," the furry doctor sang far louder than necessary, taking visible delight in the swordsman's renewed grimace. "I take it you've been having fun?"

    "I should have been…" he grimaced, and then he held his tongue. The words 'Cross wasn't kidding about the New World' had nearly slipped out, and he took several seconds to massage his temples, get rid of his migraine, and maybe avoid another slip of the tongue. "Guh… damn it, that guy wasn't kidding… I'm going to need to up my game if that's what they drink in the New World. I only managed to get through three bottles, that's shameful."

    "Clearly…" Chopper drawled, visibly unimpressed with his superior's situation. For a single, glorious minute, the infamous Spark of Genius contemplated leaving the swordsman to ride out his hangover. Zoro surely had experience with this sort of situation and it would be a completely unnecessary load off his furry back…

    Instead, he heaved a weary sigh and shifted to his Heavy Point, grabbing Zoro by his shoulders and heaving him up to his feet. "Alright, come on, you, come on," he huffed, actively working to hold the mosshead upright. "I can smell a marketplace pretty close by, we'll head over there and I'll see if I can't find something to help you detox."

    Zoro grunted and Chopper took that as his sign to go ahead. That or it was an improperly slurred curse, but he could work with either. Shaking his head, the hybrid led the both of them by his nose.

    It was not lost on the human-reindeer as he went that his furry, yeti-like form was nothing out of the ordinary. He couldn't help but reflect on how thoroughly it contrasted from what he grew up with. How easily everyone accepted abnormal for normal. And likewise… how he could accept abnormal along with normal.

    "You've come a long way from that timid, human-hating reindeer we met in Drum."

    It seemed that Zoro was both feeling marginally more coherent and similarly reflective.

    Deciding to humor the swordsman, Chopper nodded. "And I'm glad that I have. It… It didn't take long, back in Alabasta, for me to realize that being as strong as the strongest fighters on my island didn't mean a lot once I left. I tried really hard just to keep up. What could I do for Luffy? I helped against Baroque Works, sure… but Luffy's fight against Crocodile?"

    The doctor shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose with a tired sigh. "There was a reason I plunged straight into research on Cross's advice when I woke up and almost gutted him. I didn't care what anybody said about me anymore. In order to help you guys… I've become a real monster."

    Chopper's muzzle then split in a maddened grin, his eyes flashing cyan. "And I don't regret it. Haven't regretted it even once. I don't need to rely on you guys to save me, so I can focus on saving you when everything's done."

    The silence returned for a few moments before the reindeer glanced down at his companion. "What about you? You were with Luffy before I was, so I don't have any room for comparison. How far have you come since you started off?"

    Zoro let out a scoffing chuckle. "Put it this way: If someone had told me a year ago that I'd be able to do half of the things I can do now, I wouldn't have listened. Mostly because I didn't think the things I can do now were possible, and because I thought I was more than strong enough. I couldn't cut steel. I couldn't let loose flying slashes. I couldn't harden my muscles to guard against attacks. And I couldn't cut battleships in half. When I met Mihawk in the East Blue, he cut a battleship in half without even trying; I bet he didn't even need both hands to do it."

    The swordsman raised his head with a smirk. "But I'm not the man I was then. I'm still nowhere close to Mihawk's level… but at least I'm strong enough to know how strong I am." He paused and then looked Chopper in the eye. "But I'm guessing I've only made it this far thanks to you helping me out every time since Alabasta."

    Chopper stopped, resisting the instinct to do his little dance. His resistance crumbled fast, and he almost started dancing. He managed to restrain himself to a quick pump of his fist, but still—

    "Although—" Zoro continued, but his continuation was discontinued by a contentious commotion coming from closeby in the form of a pained squawk

    The pair fell silent and turned to see a pair of pirates who'd accumulated a small crowd around themselves. The duo was seated around a pair of cups, one rubbing a hand that had a couple of bleeding wounds on it and the other leering at the flinching bleeder.

    "Ya think ya can back out now?" the dagger-wielder scoffed, smirking at his 'opponent's' terror. "Pfheh, no chance. Ya took the bet, now let it ride."

    "C-Come on, man," the bleeder whimpered miserably, glancing around in search of an escape. An escape that didn't seem likely. "I-I can pay you, I swear, j-just—"

    "I'll get everything you have on hand if you die anyway," the man's grin widened malevolently. "Now play."

    That was as far as the Straw Hats would let things progress; at Zoro's gesture, Chopper let him down so that they could walk over together.

    "What's going on?" Zoro asked, hiding his lingering hangover well.

    The threatener cracked a grin at them, either not recognizing them or not caring. "Oh, nothing for you lot to concern yourselves with, just a gentleman's wager. I bet him 1,000,000 that he couldn't figure out which one of these cups was poisoned; he drinks it, he gets the prize. Then he just had to go and get cold feet."

    The two Straw Hats turned to the other man, who was looking a little pale. Zoro scoffed. "Got in over your head and now you can't back out?"

    "The jackass asked me if I wanted to play a game, he said jack shit about life or death!" the would-be drinker wheezed miserably.

    Zoro took one look at the chuckling dagger-holder and rolled his eyes dismissively. The sword-wielder started to walk off…

    "Ahem."

    And was brought to a halt by someone smaller than him grabbing his shirt and stopping him in place. Glancing back and down, Zoro took one look at Chopper staring up at him with a deadpan expression and turned his attention back to the shmuck and the shark.

    "Fine," he sighed, moving over to the cups. As quick as drawing a sword, he took up both cups and drained them. Ignoring (for what little time he could) Chopper's sigh of frustration behind him, as well as the jeers and groans of the onlookers he leered at the dumbstruck men.

    "There, both drunk, you're both even. Happy?" he demanded impatiently.

    Seeing as the would-be drinker immediately took that as a sign to bolt, yes, yes he was. The other man, however… well, a red face and a brandished dagger didn't leave a lot of room for imagination. "You son of a bitch! You really think you can get away with crossing Torino Red?!"

    Zoro frowned, both at the way the newly named 'Torino Red' was holding his dagger (poorly) and at the name itself, pondering it for a second. Then he cocked his eyebrow questioningly. "Torino… I think I've heard of that place before. Isn't it—?"

    "A kingdom in the South Blue that I've never been to, yes, now shut up and pay up," Red growled, turning the pointy end his knife towards Zoro… and then behind him. "Or I'll just use your pet's skin instead."

    "How did someone like you ever get onto this island?" Zoro asked rhetorically. Rhetorically, because before he'd even finished speaking, Red was flat on his back courtesy of a Heavy Point-ed Chopper laying him down with a single strike, seemingly paralyzed from the pressure point struck.

    "I. Am not. A pet," Chopper snarled with a hint of madness. It was gone when he turned back to his smaller form, though annoyance remained. "And as for you, quit making more work for me on your poor liver. Luffy and Cross are enough of a bother as it is."

    "Tch, please," Zoro waved his hand dismissively. "As if there's anything this halfrate halfwit could sling that could even faze you."

    Chopper rolled his eyes impatiently. "Well, obviously not, but it's still the principle of the matter."

    Unfortunately for everyone's sensibilities, however, while the vast majority of Torino Red's body was paralyzed, his mouth was not. "Y-You little—! Once I get my arms working again—" The tirade was suddenly interrupted by a pirates bearing the crest of Skelter Bite grabbing him. "H-hey, HEY! What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

    "Skelter Bite does not accept lives being used as collateral under any circumstances," one of them explained, already dragging him away. "We'll determine your punishment shortly, and until then, you'll be staying in our brig."

    "YOU—!" Red snapped, and then turned back toward the way he came; his would-be victim had run off, and the two pirates that had stopped him were walking away. Feeling one arm suddenly regain feeling, he reached into his pocket and, without withdrawing the pistol, aimed and pulled the trigger.

    The bullet pinged off of a shiny black sword, and he gulped as he saw Zoro looking back at him, not a trace of alcohol-induced fatigue in his glare.

    "You're not helping your case," the other Skull Mist Pirate dryly said, confiscating the pistol and using it to clock the man out cold.

    Zoro, for his part, sheathed his blade before looking back at Chopper. "I saw a lot of scumbags like that back in my bounty hunting days, so I expected something like that… But how come you didn't see that coming?"

    Chopper turned an expression on Zoro that his smallest form's face made unreadable. "Just because I don't need your help doesn't mean I don't like it," he admitted softly.

    Zoro paused briefly, looking back down at Chopper. And when Chopper donned a light smile, he smirked right back. "Anytime."

    "Thanks," Chopper nodded. "Now come on, I heard they're selling cotton candy this way! I want to buy some and see if anyone's passed out anywhere for—uh." The reindeer's glowing eyes darted back and forth. "Reasons."

    Zoro let out a quiet scoff, closer to a laugh, and followed his eager companion.

    "Well, while we're on the subject… for reasons, how hard is it to burn a body?" he asked casually.

    -o-​

    "WOOOOHOO! BARKEEP! ANOTHER CASK! I'M DOWN TO THREE! HISS-SS-SS-SS!"

    Such was the rallying cry that provoked another round of cheers in the Esun bar, where Boa Sandersonia was having the time of her life. Long since shifted into her hybrid form, she was taking up much of the establishment's ground floor. Not that anyone was complaining, seeing as she had raised no objection to the patrons reclining on her lengthy form in place of the seats, nor were any of the patrons or proprietors protesting to her truly hefty—read: titanic—appetite and general good cheer.

    The only detriment had been when the more savvy pirates present had realized that she was not only a lieutenant but an immediate relative to a Warlord, but their concerns had been swiftly and soundly dismissed as soon as an executive of the Revolutionary Army spoke up in her favor. After all, the Revolutionaries were outlaws worse than pirates, so her word was good enough for most of them.

    And the ones for whom it was not swiftly found themselves unconscious. Or, in the case of one particularly headstrong and, above all else, overconfident rookie…

    "WAA-aaa-AAA-aaa-AAAAAGH! LEEE-mmm-EEE GOOO!"

    Making history by attaining the… quite ignoble title of being the first pirate in history to be wrapped in an anaconda-woman's tail and offhandedly spun up and down like a yo-yo.

    As it was, however, said Revolutionary was not indulging in the party atmosphere; rather, she was sipping the bar's signature drink, a pleasantly bitter brew with a refreshing finish, silently lamenting something or another. And as the saying goes, misery loves company, hence the presence of another revolutionary alongside her… albeit of a much different sort.

    "The Divine have done everything in their power to keep out of the way of the Straw Hats, and keeping our cover is practically a bonus for it. But noo~oo!" Tashigi waved her mug about with a despairing groan. "I spend fifteen minutes in that bigmouth's orbit, and now I've been shanghaied and dropped straight into the middle of whatever madness Cross has in mind!"

    "My thoughts exactly," Koala nodded sagely, leaning back on the bar on her elbows. "Honestly, if I thought I could get away with it, I'd call Sabo here instead; he would be overjoyed to be in my position."

    Popora gave no verbal response, simply watching the goings-on with a quizzical look.

    "I mean, it just never ends with that bastard!" Tashigi lamented, hanging her head in sorrow. "The last time I got close to him, I lost all the men under my command, almost drowned in a flood of wax, and I got stabbed in the stomach! And that's not even mentioning what that frigid bitch Nico Robin did to me in Alubarna!"

    "Mmph…" Koala hummed as she picked up a nearby mug, gave it a spin, and contemplated the swirling drink. Making a decision, she glanced back at Tashigi with an impish grin. "And yet, for all that you want to wring his scrawny neck… you don't actually hate him, you're just pissed because it's the principle of the matter. In truth, you want to be here just as much as me and Sandersonia, right?" Koala's grin doubled in size and she let out a bark of laughter as Tashigi's face burned red and she switched from drinking to chugging.

    "PAH!" Naturally, said drink didn't last long, and Tashigi heaved a half-hearty, half-weary sigh as she slammed the mug own on the countertop and wiped away the froth. "W-Well, anyway! At least this plan has to have some order in it; he wouldn't be involving Marine expertise and the Ryugu Royal Family if this was just meant to cause widespread chaos, right?…right?"

    Her heart sank as Koala and Popora both stared at her with flat expressions, but she shook it off and rallied.

    "Well, ex-cuse me for trying to find some kind of sanity in this madness!" she snapped, then turned her attention back to their companion. "And speaking of madness HEY, SONIA! HOW MUCH LONGER ARE YOU GOING TO KEEP PLAYING WITH THE ROOKIES!?"

    "LIKE I'M PUTTING A TIMER ON IT!" Sandersonia hooted in reply. "I HAVEN'T HAD THE CHANCE TO CUT LOOSE LIKE THIS FOR SEVENTEEN YEARS, AND I'M MILKING IT FOR ALL IT'S WORTH!"

    Tashigi dropped her head into her arms, but a quick poke by Koala and a look at the wistful expression on her face had her looking more concerned. "Honestly… between what she's gone through in the past and being by Hancock's side for the past decade… I think she really needs this." Koala's smile then became teasing as she shook a fresh mug at the incognito officer. "Just like I think you really need this!"

    Tashigi stared blankly at the alcohol before snatching it away and holding it high. "I shall drink today!" she proclaimed, eyes swirling madly. "In preparation for Cross killing my sanity evermore tomorrow!"

    "Hear-hear!"/"Kyu-kyu," Koala and Popora mirrored her with a snicker and a deadpan respectively before the trio all knocked their drinks back as one.

    And immediately spat it all back out again.

    "Ugh, what is this, moose urine?!" Koala demanded.

    "Sorry, ladies," the bartender said apologetically. "I meant to give you the Alabasta Preserve, but I grabbed the Roshwan pale lager stock by mistake."

    "THAT'S WORSE THAN MOOSE URINE!" Tashigi snapped before eyeing her old mug. "Give us another round, because I've got to be imagining how bad that was."

    "Kyun." CLONK!

    "ARGH! THAT WASN'T A REQUEST, YOU FURRY BASTARD!"

    -o-​

    "I mean, it's not like I'm even mad he ran and left me! Lola was incredibly pissed off—with good reason, I'll admit— and I'd already said I was willing to take the blame for—! Er…"

    "Whatever it is that Lola was angry at you for that you can't talk about?"

    "Yes, thank you, Conis," Nami nodded in relief. "Anyway, I was willing to take the fall, no question, so I can't be mad about that… but honestly, did he really need to be so, so dramatic about it?! I mean, he leapt out the window of a tower for goodness' sake!"

    "Are we or are we not talking about the biggest show-off in the world?" Su questioned right back, ever so innocently.

    Those on Skelter Bite who knew of the Straw Hat Pirates—which was pretty much everyone, naturally—knew to expect a duck-riding damsel if the crew were in the area. However, they were expecting the one riding it to be blue-haired with hand scythes and riding on a duck capable of running like the wind. They knew of the most recent addition to the Straw Hats from the SBS, of course, but it was still a surprise to see that walking alongside the Straw Hats' angelic gunner and her fox was a duck with a rooster's comb, peacock tail feathers, and a weather witch on his back.

    "Can't argue with that…" the weather witch muttered, shaking her head. "Still, he could have shown a little more… I don't know, class?"

    "You did say that that Lola lady was really scary, right?" Billy asked timidly. "Maybe he was genuinely scared."

    "Mmph…" Nami grunted noncommittally. "Still going to give him grief about it, though."

    "And that is entirely within your rights," Conis said soothingly, patting a comforting hand on Nami's shoulder. She then adopted a concerned frown. "Though, just to be certain, you and Lola—?"

    "Well, I'm definitely never going to be on her Christmas card list, but I'm not banned from the island either," Nami sighed, hanging her head. "And under the circumstances, that's probably the best I can hope for, so I'm counting it as a win."

    "And you're really not on the hunt for Cross so you can wreak your lightning-heavy vengeance on him?" Su asked with far more disappointment than necessary.

    That got the fox an irritated, sidelong glare. "For the last time, no. I freely admit that I had that coming and I probably would have done the same thing in his shoes. Can we change the subject now?"

    "Sure," Conis replied serenely, also clamping her hand over Su's muzzle. "We don't seem to be heading anywhere in particular or looking for any kind of store. Are you just trying to get a better look at the city for your mapmaking?"

    "Mmm," Nami responded. "Half that, yeah. The other half is spending more time with Billy and getting used to riding him with the new saddle."

    "It does take some getting used to," Billy contributed, looking back at the saddle and the one riding it. "It doesn't bother me, but I'm glad I got some advice from Carue. Still worried about the Jet boost, though."

    "One thing at a time, don't worry," Nami patiently said.

    "And here I thought recruiting animals was Cross' job," Su snickered. "I mean, Chopper told me that he as about as responsible as Luffy for bringing him onto the crew."

    "Yeah… and that's part of why I kept him from going back in the first place."

    Fox, duck, and angel all gave the witch questioning looks.

    "I mean, for a while, I honestly wondered how much the 'animal companion' thing was just for show or status," Nami elaborated. "Carue was with Vivi all of her life and trained as a bodyguard, and Su was just a pet before you joined us—no offense."

    "None taken; before Strong World, my primary 'tactic' in a fight was to run and find one of you guys to cover my tail, after all," the fox replied, waving said tail dismissively. "But how does that mean this is Cross's fault?"

    "Because, fundamentally, we fight the same way," Nami said, running one hand along Billy's feathers. "Way back in Alabasta, when I asked Usopp to build my first Clima-Tact, it was because I knew that we were the weaker members on the crew. We couldn't rely on brute force or Devil Fruit powers, so we had to rely on our brains. Cross was the same way, but his partners have brought his abilities to a whole new dimension."

    She smiled ruefully as she rippled her climatological halo. "And even though my weapon has brought me this far, I've realized that it… just isn't enough. Without my Waver and my Clima-Tact, all I've got going for me are agility and a few solid punches. And with my Waver gone… well, I took the same page out of Cross's book he wrote when his baton got wrecked. Not just something I can trust to help me, but someone." The ginger gave her mount's neck a proud pat. "Someone who's already proven himself a bonafide badass on the frontlines, at that."

    Billy blushed and preened at the comments. "Awww, thanks, Nami! I promise I'll do you pro—WACK!"

    With a panicked squawk, Billy suddenly jerked to a dead stop, his wings thrown out to stop Conis, too.

    "WAH!" Nami yelped, flailing and hastily catching herself. "Hey, what the—!? Billy?! What the hell do you think you're—!?"

    SMASH!

    Confusion gave way to shock when the wall of one of the buildings ahead of her suddenly all-but-detonated, a large mass crashing through clean through one side of the street and into the other, leaving a trail of destruction and debris in its wake. A trail Nami and Conis were only a few steps away from being caught in the middle of.

    The very reason why the ladies hadn't been pasted was quaking on his webbed feet, beak chattering in paralyzed terror. "Scary, scary, scary…" he repeated over and over.

    Conis blinked several times in an attempt to get her brain to reboot; eventually, she just settled for boggling at Billy. "Was that… I'm sorry, but the last time I saw something like that, Cross said—was that Haki?"

    Su immediately shook her head. "Nuh-uh, couldn't be. Cross said that it had to be a directed attack to read it, and that was definitely random! So how the heck—?"

    "Scary, scary, sca—" Clonk! "Wack!"

    "Owww, thick skull…" Nami winced, waving her hand. "Billy, how'd you do that?"

    "I-I, ah…" Billy blinked, shaking the last of the cobwebs free. "I… don't really know. I've just always been able to tell when something dangerous was coming at me. It's the only reason my head's stayed connected to my neck for so long."

    Su slapped her paw to her forehead. "Of course! Instincts! You grew up in the Strong World, a hellhole of kill-or-be-killed! Your survival instincts must be honed to a razor-sharp point! Tseeheehee, oh man!" She flicked her tail at the peaduck. "You're just full of surprises, aren't you, zappy?"

    Nami smiled and gave Billy's comb a comforting pat. "Why yes, yes he is."

    "Ah, sorry for interrupting the moment?" Conis piped up, hesitantly pointing at the settling dust cloud. "But could we maybe try and find out what just—?"

    "Oh, come now! Is that really all you have to offer? Surely you have more in you, get up!"

    "—GYEEP!" Conis cut herself off, slapping her hands over her mouth. And she wasn't alone in her reaction either: all of the Straw Hats flinched back and gaped as the cause of the hole stepped through onto the street.

    Their reactions were well-justified: not only was the perpetrator a behemoth of a man who outweighed them all of them combined, but he was a behemoth who they all recognized very well. A smiling, winged, infamous behemoth.

    "Good thing Vivi isn't here," Su muttered weakly.

    "Come on, that couldn't really—hm?" the behemoth paused midway across the street, blinking curiously. After a moment, he let out a laugh of recognition and turned to face the women, his smile widening even further. "Well, I'll be! You two! I recognize you! You're members of the Straw Hat pirates, aren't you? HAHAHA! Greetings! Allow me to introduce myself! I am—!"

    "'Mad Monk' Urouge, of the Fallen Monk Pirates," Nami tersely finished, clenching and unclenching her grip on her reassembled Clima-Tact. "You're very… memorable."

    That     finally served as the hard reset Conis' brain needed. Of course, that still meant she defaulted to age-old instincts by snapping her hand up behind her head, fingers poking up in a familiar gesture. "Heso, mister Urouge!"

    Urouge blinked in surprise at the greeting. Slowly, he mirrored the salute, and then burst into laughter again. "Heso to you as well, young one! Hahahaaa, oh my, it's been years since I've shared such a greeting with anyone but my crew! So you truly are from Skypiea! I had honestly wondered!"

    Conis smiled, somewhat more at ease, while Su raised her head curiously. "So, uh, what are you up to? Not, uh… anything like what you were doing back while we were in Enies Lobby, right?" And at that reminder, the girls all paled and began to inch away.

    "Nothing like that, just enjoying the hospitality of this delightful locale," Urouge chuckled, waving his hand. "It's honestly making me reconsider heading to Sabaody right away, this place has just about everything. What about you? Anyone stupid enough to provoke you yet?"

    "You might say that," Nami muttered, shaking her head. "But really, we're just looking around, seeing the sights, discussing the merits of having animals make up nearly a quarter of our crew. Y'know, the usual."

    "Ha! Well then, we have ourselves a happy coincidence!" the sky-native monk chortled, turning away and rifling through the pile of rubble he'd created. "I've been looking to emulate your crew in that regard for quite some time now, but I've been unable to find anything suitable. Thought I'd get lucky in this most wonderful of locales, but thus far, no such luck! Nothing's been capable of keeping up with me, but I'm pretty sure that this time—awww, no!"

    The massive boar Urouge had just hauled out of the rubble pile was probably the cause of the dismayed groan and lack of smile on the monk. Not surprising, given that its eyes had rolled up in its head, not to mention the foam leaking out of its mouth.

    "Damnation, I could have sworn that he would be the one!" Urouge spat, casually tossing the insensate swine over his shoulder and knocking the facade off a nearby building in the process. He cupped his chin thoughtfully. "This is turning out to be so troublesome… Maybe I should go for a bear, I earnestly think I might do better with a bear… ah!" He pounded a fist into his hand, grin springing back to life. "I know! I heard rumors that someone was showing off a Shaolin Panda somewhere in the north market! Those things are famous for leveling towns when they go on rampages, it should be more than capable of withstanding my might!"

    Summarily ignoring the horrified expressions on the Straw Hats present, the most definitely Mad Monk bowed politely to the girls. "It has been a pleasure to meet you fine women, but I have matters I must attend to! Please, enjoy your stay!"

    And with that, he strolled off in one direction… while everyone else who saw him took one look at his grin and sprinted in the other.

    After she managed to reboot her brain for a third time, Conis stared up at Nami. "Uhhh… w-what are we going to do now, Nami?" she asked.

    "What we do every day, Conis," Nami deadpanned.

    "…prevent overpowered nimrods from completely annihilating us via the fallout of their insane actions?"

    "That's the one. UROUGE, WAIT UP!"

    -o-​

    Pirate city though it was, Skelter Bite was still, at its heart, an island. An island of fertile soil that had previously supported an entire forest. Much of it, along with the manor ruins, had gone into forming the city, but the remainder had been kept to preserve a native timber supply. A handful had even been left within the city itself, large ones with benches built around them in an endeavor to create a few areas of peaceful greenery.

    Much to the relief and pleasure of level-headed first mates who were looking for a break from their captains. Such as Gin, currently contemplating the swirling contents of a liquor bottle: gin, natch. Shrugging, he tilted the bottle to his lips and took a deep gulp.

    The burn of good liquor had just reached his stomach when all conversation—sorry, griping—in the grove came to a dead stop. Gin looked up from his bottle to behold a silhouette of long, angry hair and arm blades and smooth mask, basking in the light filtered through the golden mist. Killer of the Kid Pirates strode into the grove as if he owned it; mates parted like stalks of wheat in the wind, none willing to test what would make the pirate act on his own name.

    Gin, though, had eyes only for the bottle held in Killer's left hand. Even when it became clear that Killer was coming for his spot, and then sat down next to him. For a long moment, the two stared at each other, first mate to first mate, and then Killer's eyes flickered to Gin's gin.

    "Emerald City," he said. "Nice."

    "You too," Gin replied, nodding towards the bottle of QBB Bourbon Killer held.

    By unspoken agreement, the two mates held up their bottles, the clink of glass on glass ringing out in the grove, to be smothered by a collective sigh of relief and the conversation starting up again. The two paid it no mind, instead upending their bottles and chugging until there was only half of each left.

    And with that, they just sat in friendly silence, escaping from the madness of their captains for a few minutes (and bottles) more.

    -o-​

    Even in a place as colorful as Skelter Bite, his hair stood out. That was all she needed to spot him, and from there it was effortless to identify him.

    She had torn through Paradise to find him, to avenge herself on him for what he had done. The promise he had broken, the way he had betrayed her, all that he had stolen from her. She would make him pay. And in a lawless haven for lawless people, the opportunity was before her.

    She stalked after him as he neared the end of the crowd, rod in hand and ready to knock him senseless before he could realize he was being—

    He twisted his head ever so slightly and shot her a shark-toothed smirk over his shoulder. "Long time no see, ginger."

    WHAM!

    Prudently, she waited until after she knocked him senseless and had begun dragging him away before indulging in a breathless stream of curses about the fact that he knew she was there the whole time. Well, that, and his sexual habits, his ancestors ten generations back, and his hair.

    -o-​

    "…and so he had to sit there for three weeks with a giant-sized pair of knitting needles and put together two whole battleships' worth of sail canvas so that he could pay for a new coat, plus interest!" Ronse finished, pantomiming the aforementioned needles.

    "Dereshishishishishi!" Robin laughed, a stiff breeze away from simply collapsing to the ground. "Oh, that's dreadful!"

    "Heh…" Lacroix chuckled. "I really can't get over how you laugh just like him. You were really close to him, weren't you?"

    Robin didn't respond at first, still riding out the gales of laughter. The two giants sitting across from her in another one of Skelter Bite's groves, and Usopp next to her, gave her the time, for when she recovered she gave the giants a smile equal parts warm nostalgia and sadness. "He was the only one I ever called a friend before I met the Straw Hats."

    "Though that title's a little less exclusive than it used to be," Usopp snickered, brushing his finger beneath his nose.

    "Hush, you," Robin chided, shoving his shoulder without any heat. The two ex-Vice Admirals looked on with satisfied smirks. Well, Lacroix did, Ronse's mask made it hard to tell.

    "But anyway, hearing all those stories about Saul, I'm honestly surprised that he wasn't from Elbaf," Usopp said carefully. "I mean, that kind of tenacity, strength, and honor? It seems like just the kind of thing Dorry and Broggy would like."

    "What he did was not typical of Elbaf giants, Usopp," Robin responded with her typical 'I know far more than you do' smile. "What he did, I have come to realize, is typical of Ds."

    The two Vice Admirals nodded sagely, and Usopp looked up at them.

    "Mmm… Moving on, I heard all Vice Admirals have to be powerhouses. Does that come a little easier to you guys?"

    "Heh, we only wish," Ronse scoffed. "The only easy way to get Haki is to be born with it already awake, and even then, there's training so that you don't get overwhelmed by it. Giant, fishman, mink, human, doesn't matter what you are, it's never that easy."

    "And it's not always the way you want it to be, either," Lacroix added. "I still remember when Saul unlocked his Observation Haki, and it turned out to be the empathetic parts that came first."

    One pair of disembodied hands scribbling notes into a journal and all of her mind focusing on thanking Saul for helping her even now, Robin asked, "Would you mind telling us a little more about that? How deeply could Saul understand you, and how did it grow?"

    "Well, I'll tell you this," Ronse grumbled to himself. "The lion-headed bastard robbed us blind for the first couple of weeks until he finally got banned from poker night."

    Their laughter renewed itself, followed by Usopp demanding more details on that story.

    -o-​

    Now as isolated as one could be on an island of pirates, at an uninhabited building several… blocks, for lack of a better term, away from the burgeoning downtown, the redhead watched with a scowl—and a pipe at the ready—as her captive made a show of stirring. He had let her attack him, after all, feigning unconsciousness was the logical next step.

    She had, of course, taken the precaution of tying him to a chair, constricting him with rope until little more than his eyes and mouth were still visible. In retrospect, she should have bound the latter, too.

    Blearily, Bartolomeo looked up, and regained his usual expression—read, an ear-to-ear beartrap of a grin—in infuriatingly short order. "Eesh, Ginger, so this is still how you pick up all your guys? No wonder you're still—" WHACK. "Ow. What the hell?!"

    "That's what I should be saying to you, traitor!"

    "'Traitor'!?" Barto boggled, staring at his captor in abject confusion. "Bitch, what the hell are you on about?"

    "We made a promise to aim for the top together!" Barto's captor roared in his face, grabbing him by his collar and hauling him and his seat off the ground. "We said we'd kick all breeds of ass, side by side, and fucking rule Loguetown! But then all of a sudden, you said you wanted to help Straw Hat become King of the Pirates! And then you fucking left without even saying shit beforehand!? FUCK YOU!"

    His captor half-dropped, half-tossed Barto to the ground, and began to pace back and forth. Like a tiger, except this woman was far more dangerous than a tiger. "That was the whole reason I came out here on these sucking seas in the first place, you know? To do the right thing, to beat the stupid out of your empty skull, and haul your ass home where it belongs!

    "Hey hey HEY! Watch your mouth, skank!" Barto snarled, jerking in his bonds. "Lemme clear one thing up for you! I mighta started sailing with my head up my ass, but I've cleaned the shit out of my ears since then! I still respect the hell out of Luffy, but I'm willing to go beyond him too! I ain't gonna disrespect him by being no scuzzy sycophant! I'm shooting for the throne and the crown, just like he is! I'm gonna give it my all… and in the process, I'll give him the challenge he deserves!"

    Barto leaned back in his seat and let out a cocky chuckle. "Aaaaand if I should just so happen to get my mitts on an assload of gold in the process, weeeell… them's the breaks, y'know?"

    Barto's captor stared at him, before slapping her hand to her face. "And that's the reason I said 'was'," she sighed.

    Black Bart cocked an eyebrow. "Come again?"

    The supernova's kidnapper leaned against a nearby crate. "I was going to kick your ass and haul you back home… until I watched you help kick Shiki's teeth in. Like it or not, and I definitely don't… this sea's done you some damn good. At the least, it's given you a spine worth a damn. So… no. No, I'm not hauling you back to Loguetown, not yet anyways. Maybe once you're all good and ready, but until then?" The captor walked up to Barto and jabbed her finger in his chest. "Until then, I'm sticking to your dumb dumbass ass like glue and making sure you don't get your brain bashed out while you're gloating like the dipshit you are! So until we hit the end of this hellhole, we'll be watching each other's backs again like the good old days. Whether you like it or not!"

    Barto stared blankly at her, one eyebrow cocked. "In case you went deaf earlier and I didn't notice it, let me repeat: I've already got a first mate."

    "Psh, don't try and sell me that shit. Co-captains."

    And that sent Barto's expression paper-flat. "Yeeeaaah… fuck that noise." And before his captor could react, he grunted and tore through the ropes, his fingers already crossed to summon a barrier to block the pipe that swung at his skull. Said pipe did not give up, and continued to beat on the barrier, and only gave up when Barto shoved his barrier forward, knocking his kidnapper flat on her ass.

    "Ugh…" she groaned, voice slurring. "Best… two out of three… asshole?"

    Barto sighed, squatting down to look his childhood friend in the eye. "Ehhh... talk to me again when I can't beat your ass like a drum. But for now…" He looked away, rubbing at the back of his head. "But I guess I do feel kinda bad about leaving you behind in Loguetown, and I wouldn't mind having you watch my ass, so…?"

    His old friend weighed briefly her options before letting out a sharp tsk. "You said something about first mate?" she spat, as though the words physically burned

    Barto shrugged indifferently, apparently more interested in finding whatever had prompted him to dig his pinky up his nostril. "Meh, fine, whatever. You can fight Dead-Eyes for it; whoever has the most teeth left by the end wins. Take it or leave it.

    The old friend ground their teeth murderously. Briefly, before switching to a fond, and above all else, familiar smile. "Well, at least you're just as much of a jackass as ever," she groused, holding out her hand. "Now help me up. And by the way, you owe me a candy bar."

    "Meh," Barto scoffed, grinning as he grabbed said hand. "Take it up with Tina. And by the way?"

    His old friend screeched at the touch of snot on her hand, and Barto grinned.

    "Glad to have you back, Desire."

    -o-​

    "Based on the horror stories I've heard, this is definitely a welcome change from Mock Town," Brook said slowly. "But with such a pirate-heavy population, you can't tell me that you don't have trouble keeping law and order around here."

    "Did you awweady fowget the wiving fog? One wook at an Obewisk and nobody would…" Carue trailed off as what he was saying registered. "OK, so mowons wike that awen't unheawd of, but they can't be that common, wight?"

    "Both more and less than you'd think, actually," answered their companion, a member of the Skull Mist Pirates that had eagerly volunteered to play tour guide.

    "Typically, we get one incident a day or so, generally the really nasty characters who manage to slip their way in. They'll cause some trouble or damages, sure, but just as often they're taken care of pretty quickly. When it's not someone substantially stronger than them getting annoyed at their fun being interrupted, then it's everyone else dog-piling them to squeeze some fun out of the situation."

    "Well, no matter the method through which you maintain order, this place still takes my breath away! Which is quite the feat, seeing as I don't have any lungs! YOHOHOHO! Skull—Hey, wait for me!"

    But neither Carue nor Vivi deigned to wait for Brook to complete his gag, instead continuing down the island's attraction-packed mainstreet, as they'd been doing since the crew had split up. Their attention remained split between their tour guide and the many sights the main drag offered.

    "So basically, honor among thieves isn't out of style, then?" Vivi said in wonder. "Huh, well, I guess that's nice… but you can't tell me that people who set out to define their own law and order are so ready and willing to live under someone else's, even with the leniency only pirates will give."

    "You—hoo!—would be surprised, actually!" Brook huffed as he jogged back up to the group, groaning and creaking as he got back into pace. "Oh, my poor old bones… ah, but to answer your question, Vivi, the honor system is more effective than you might think. Take it from an excessively old hand like myself: we pirates might seek freedom from most laws and restrictions, but even we enjoy our peace and quiet when we can get it. And as such, not many will object to a spot of peacekeeping now and then. So long as no one stops them from having honest fun or touches their treasure, everyone's happy!"

    "What about booze?" Carue asked.

    "…I said 'treasure,' didn't I?" Brook said, tilting his skull in confusion. "Though, now that I think about it, I do suppose that things aren't quite so idyllic as we paint it. After all, with the blockade and the looming threat of the Marines, I can't imagine that everyone's taking things quite so well, hm?"

    The trio's guide rolled his eyes and waved his hands placatingly. "Okay, yeah, things are a little on edge, but it's not that bad. Y'see—"

    Whatever the justification was, it was lost to the sands of time when a gunshot rang out. Traffic on the wooden sidewalk they were on didn't stop, but all the pedestrians, Straw Hats included, did look over to the other side to see what had just happened. Unfortunately, all they got was a man in a white suit and an impressive beard stepping out from between an alleyway, a smoking gun in hand. He then proceeded to shoot said gun twice into the sidewalk. For some reason.

    "Hello?" the man declared in a very British voice. "I just shot somebody, I did it on purpose!"

    Nobody stopped. Though it was a close-run thing.

    Vivi gaped at the scene in clear confusion. "Er, shouldn't we do something?" she asked weakly.

    "Eh, as I said, tensions aren't that high, and Benedict over there is a big reason why," the guide explained with a dismissive wave. "He does that every so often as a sort of litmus test for how close to a blowup we are. I'm 65% certain the guy he shot deserved it, anyway."

    "Oh, well, if he deserved it then that's alright!" Brook nodded sagely.

    "…we're really not going to do anything!?" Vivi incredulously repeated.

    "Aye don't see you puwwing on my weins that hawd," Carue pointed out, giving her a flat look over his shoulder.

    "I—but—that's—! Mrgh…" Vivi slumped over in her saddle. "I never will find a spark of sanity in these seas, will I?"

    "Come now, your highness, surely you're overreacting," the guide protested, though not with much heat. "Not everything here is going tax your grip on reality."

    "Indeed!" Brook proclaimed, waving his arm out with a theatrical air. "If you merely open your mind to the wonderful anarcho-culture of we free buccaneers, you will find that we are truly a most wondrous of oh dear heavens there's a bear in people clothes sitting at a table across the street."

    The group stopped at once to stare in the direction the skeleton was boggling, and while Carue and the guide both joined him in boggling, all Vivi could muster was a flat deadpan.

    "Brook, I'm afraid you're quite mistaken," Vivi sighed ever so tiredly. "That's not a bear in people clothes sitting at a table…" She dropped her face into her hand and pinched the bridge of her nose with a weary sigh. "That's a bear in captain's clothes sitting at a table. And from how the people around him keep acting?"

    The princess raised her head, staring pointedly at the pirates surrounding the ursine entity, all raising a toast in the animal's direction. The massive, tricorn-and-eyepatch-wearing lug of fur and muscle responded with an oblivious snarl as it tore into the array of raw salmon laid out before it.

    "I don't think it's a gag."

    "…okay, full disclosure, I'm drawing a blank," the guide shamelessly admitted.

    "…cooould he jahst be a Zoan oah something?" Carue offered.

    "Seeing as he keeps growling for 'more honey' IN FLAWLESS TEDDY-ESE, SIGNS POINT TO…" a disembodied voice casually commented.

    "Then… why aren't you translating for him?" Brook queried, more curious than anything else.

    "Tried. He told me not to bother, says he's gotten by fine so far."

    "…Alright, my skull's pounding has come as close to 'splitting' as I can bear." Vivi paused, registering her choice of words, and then exacerbated her migraine by slamming her palm into her face. "Soundbite, is Chopper anywhere close by?"

    "'FRAID NOT, and he's occupied with other things BESIDES."

    The princess sucked in a sharp breath—

    "Uh… I know a pharmacist nearby who only tests new drugs on his patients one time out of five?" the tour guide hesitantly offered.

    —and released it just as swiftly, which all present took as a sign to start walking again.

    As they set off again, Brook 'blinked' as a thought occurred to him, and he looked to their guide. "By the by, good sir, it occurs to me that we've yet to ask you your name. Would you care to provide it?"

    "I would! Er, or, no, wait, is that wouldn't…?" the guide puzzled over his statement before shaking his head. "Well, whatever the right answer is, the name's Jagger, of the ex-Rolling Pirates! Happy to help!"

    "HAHAHAHEEHEEHEEhoohoohoooo oh my GOOOOD!"

    The air suddenly erupted into cackles, prompting both male pirates to look skyward in made to question the reason behind Soundbite's amusement—

    "Not. One. Word."

    —and then their jaws both slammed shut, and that was that.

    "…You suwe you awen't ovewweacting a wittle?" Carue asked.

    "…Maybe," Vivi conceded. "But better I get it out of the way now than when the real chaos starts…" Her eye twitched as her hair started waving in a newborn breeze. "Because you know that we haven't even begun yet."

    Everyone winced at that, unable to argue… literally.

    -o-​

    If you asked the visitors and inhabitants of Skelter Bite to describe the place, 'noisy' was a good candidate for the most common descriptor. It was only natural: the entire city was positively thrumming with life and good cheer. Pirate cheer, at that. It was no surprise the default volume for the island was set at 'loud' with the knob ripped off.

    Only two locations on all of Skelter Bite even approached 'quiet'. The first was the sections of the seawall that were between the wall's cardinal points, where the island's security checkpoints were located…

    "WOOHOOOO!"

    And the second used to be the very top of Skelter Bite's sky-scraping pillar of a mast, located almost a hundred meters above the observation post that was halfway up the mast. Used to be, on account of that silence being violently shattered by Luffy rocketing up, cheering and hollering the entire way.

    "HAHA—ah, whoops!"

    At least, until he realized that he'd overshot the top of the mast and grappled himself onto it, grabbing hold of the island's flagpole and holding tight to it.

    "Woo! Wow, I almost shot clean off the island! That was close!" Luffy laughed to himself, re-adjusting his hat as he hauled himself up and onto the flagpole. Then, once his position was properly stabilized (or at least his version of stable: kneeling on the balls of his feet), he gazed down at the shimmering tableau that was Skelter Bite stretched out below him, a breathtaking array of lights and movement, and his smile stretched all the wider.

    "Wooow! This place is even cooler than the last time I was here! And I didn't think that was possible!" the rubber-man breathed in awe.

    "■■■■■…?"

    "Huh?" Luffy looked around for the source of the voice he'd just heard. "What am I doing up here? I just wanted to get a good look at the island. And it's so cool!"

    "■■■■■…"

    "What?! It's really—?!" Luffy started to exclaim eagerly before shaking his head. "Gah, no, wait! Pictionaries!" The rubber-man spun his head around, literally twisting his neck to get a better look around himself. "Who said that? And where are you?"

    "■■■."

    "Whuh?" The rubber-man released the tension in his neck, letting his head whiz back into place. "Whaddaya mean look—wooooaaah…"

    The reason why Monkey D. 'Straw Hat' Luffy, of all pirates in the world, trailed off into stunned silence was the looming presence of the largest, most titanic entities he'd ever seen in the history of… of ever! Sure they were only shadowy silhouettes in the foggy wall that ringed Skelter Bite, but still, they were immense! Massive! They were—! They were—!

    "Wooow…" Luffy breathed. "You're so big I don't think even Grandpa could knock you down…" He then screwed his face up in intense thought. "Or… I don't think he could? He's really strong and stuff, so I don't—"

    "■■■■■?" one of the sky-encompassing silhouettes 'asked', insomuch as an entity like it could articulate at all.

    "Oh, right! We were talking!" Luffy chuckled and blushed, scratching the back of his head. "Sorry, I can be really dumb some… er, most of the time. What were we talking about?"

    "■■■."

    "WHAT!?" Luffy's head shot up and then back down, his mouth stretched wide in a massive grin. "This is only how much of the island done?! But it's already so cool! Oh man oh man, that's so awesome!" The world-infamous pirate started dancing from foot-to-foot on top of the flagpole, laughing all the way. "I wanna see it, I wanna see it!"

    "■■■…"

    And just as fast as he got happy, Luffy slumped over, a sad expression on his face. "Awww, really? That long? Mmph, that sucks…" he sighed, giving his precariously swaying perch a hearty kick. "And I really wanted to see—ah!" Luffy perked up instantly almost instantly, pounding his fist in his palm in realization. "I know! I'll just come back once it's done! Then, you guys can all show me the best places to eat at!"

    "! ■■■■■?"

    Luffy folded his arms behind his head and nodded with a proud grin. "Of course I'll come back! This place is so amazing already, I can't wait to see it when it's finished! I'll come back and see this island at its best no matter what! That's a promise!"

    The Obelisks had no mouths with which to smile, but the way the golden fog swirled around Luffy made it clear that they were as happy as they could be.

    -o-​

    "Well, we didn't find Tashigi, but that's no reason to lose my stride!" I muttered eagerly to myself, wringing my hands as I strolled down a raised walkway made of suspended rowboats, my eyes darting to and fro. "Now, let's see here: I'm young, witty, and I've got an opinion I'm willing to fight to the death for! How can I cause the most trouble in the shortest amount of time?"

    A thought occurred to me, a thought that caused a cackle to spill from my lips. "Oh, of course! Should have realized it sooner!" I jabbed my finger forward. "To the nearest public forum! I have flames to fan!"

    "WOAH, BELAY THAT! TAKE A RIGHT HERE AND GO DOWN THAT LADDER."

    "Huh?" I blinked, glancing at Soundbite in confusion. "What, you have a better idea on how we can start a riot without getting in… too much trouble for it?"

    "Business before pleasure, Guy Fawkes," Soundbite snorted with a distinct lack of sympathy for my desire for mayhem. "Somebody wants to talk to you real bad, SO UNLESS YOU WANT TO HEAR A LITTLE DITTY ABOUT INFINITE BOTTLES OF BEER—!"

    "Yeah yeah, I'm goin', I'm goin'," I sighed, turning to head for the aforementioned ladder. "This better be worth it though, got it?"

    "NO PROMISES, both in regards to how important and/or amusing THIS DETOUR IS, and in regards to whatever state your body will be in afterwards."

    "Wonderful."

    And with that, I followed Soundbite's directions through the convoluted and improvised passages of Skelter Bite (and let's be honest, they were very improvised. Seriously, I had to balance my way over a toppled mast!) to an isolated, lounge-like area on top of a raised mizzen deck that was acting as a makeshift tower. To my surprise, Lassoo and Funkfreed were already there, lounging about and neatly answering the question of where they had gotten off to. With a curious glance that they did not return, I took a seat beside them.

    I didn't need to wait long to learn why I was there, however, as a second later, someone climbed up the other entrance array of rigging.

    Someone that I recognized immediately. After all, it was hard to forget an expression that lazy, a sword that long and EVIL-feeling… or a hat that distinctive.

    "So, you're finally here. What do you want, Jeremi-ya?" Trafalgar Law warily asked me.

    ...wait. He asked—?!

    "M-Me? But I thought—!?" I sputtered, shooting Soundbite an incredulous look.

    "IT'S NOT HIM THAT WANTS TO TALK TO YOU, and it's not me either," Soundbite answered before swivelling his attention to- wait, what. "BLAME THE BIG GUY."

    "Come again?"/"Excuse me!?" Law and I chorused in near synch.

    "Sorry about the skulduggery, but I wanted to say this in as private a setting as possible," Funkfreed stated, eyeing Law with a look in his eyes that I couldn't place. The surgeon stared for a moment before shrugging indifferently, taking a seat on the couch opposite me.

    "All ears, Elephant-ya," he yawned, affecting an air of relaxation.

    Funkfreed closed his eyes. "First… I know about what I'm going to tell you because of my previous wielder. More specifically, because of his father."

    I immediately sat up straighter. Law's expression sharpened, but his posture remained nonchalant.

    "And I'm only telling you this because I heard something on the way over here from Pappug. He mentioned something offhand when he saw your wanted poster, and when I asked him about it, he was completely certain. So, my first question for you, Trafalgar Law…" Funkfreed opened his eyes, and pointed his trunk at Law's head. "Where did you get that hat?"

    Law's grip on Kikoku tightened, causing me to tense up in response. But his tone remained even when he answered. "From my parents. It's a reminder of my hometown."

    "Flevance," Funkfreed exhaled.

    That got a reaction from the both of us, though where I stared at the Zoan in mere surprise, Law sat up straight, his eyes alight with shock and cold, cold anger. He turned his glare on me, and before I could move, he had the butt of his hell-sword's sheath hovering a few inches from my face. "Jeremi-ya. What is the meaning of this?" he demanded.

    "Hey, hey, don't draw that thing on me!" I yelped, throwing my hands up and trying to inch as far back out of dissection range as I could get. "I know as little about where Funkfreed is going with this as you do! Though…" My own eyes narrowed as I connected the dots, and a scowl came over my face that I directed at my largest partner. "On second thought, we've probably reached the same conclusion."

    In seconds, Law was on his feet, his Room deployed, and his sword out of its sheath and reared back to strike. After a moment, however, the blue glow faded, I was still in one piece, and he lowered his blade before turning back to Funkfreed. "Talk," he ordered.

    Funkfreed shook his head miserably, though not fearfully. "I heard Spandine gloating about it one day when he visited his son. He…" The elephant snorted and rolled his eyes. "Approved of his son keeping a blackbook so long as he kept it under lock and key, somewhere that nobody but him would ever have a reason to be. And in the process, he mentioned one mission that his own squad had run in the past…"

    "Spreading the rumor that Amber Lead Syndrome was contagious, along with ensuring that nobody ever researched otherwise, which would inevitably lead to the quarantine of Flevance. And from there, the perfect excuse to massacre the entire country when they tried to fight back against it."

    Law's expression had turned steadily more thunderous as the explanation continued. The instant it was over, his eyes darted between Funkfreed, me, and Soundbite in an attempt to detect any deception. After a full minute of silence, one hoarse word worked out of his throat:

    "…Why?"

    Up until now, I had thought that Funkfreed had called me here just to try to make Law a Mason way sooner than expected because of the World Government conspiracy behind Flevance. But I was wrong. The next sentence out of his mouth was pretty conclusive evidence.

    "Because… the Elder Stars knew that hiding somewhere in the country was a family from the line of D."

    Everyone else in the tower froze. Law, of course, was frozen in complete fury, his eyes trembling in rage, and his grip on Kikoku a vice. My partners and I, however, were frozen in total terror at the aura of sheer death he was emanating. Finally, our eyes all darted to the edge of the tower, and without a second of thought, we leapt over it.

    BOOM!

    A prudent move, as I'm pretty sure Law dissected the tower not two seconds later. I don't know what medical practice uses a technique that could do that, nor do I wish to. Knowing my luck, Chopper would be all too eager to… demonstrate.

    Brushing myself off from the fall, I stared awkwardly up at the smoking remains. Then a blue haze filled my vision—"GRK!"—and I snapped my hands to my neck, flailing at something I couldn't actually feel that was clamped down on my windpipe and holding me clean off my feet.

    "Jeremi-ya…" the Voice of Death growled, and I made sure to keep very still as I was swiveled around in mid-air to face a very angry Trafalgar Law.

    It took me a second to put the pieces together, and when I realized that Law was Vader-lifting me with his Tact, I was split between nerding out because how freaking cool was this and flipping out because holy shit he was going to either crush my trachea or gut me like a fish. And while all of this was happening, Funkfreed and Lassoo were… inching away fearfully, not that I could really blame them considering whatever the hell Law had done to the tower, and Soundbite…

    "H-Hey, Law!" the snail chuckled weakly, poking his eyestalks out of his shell. "If it's not too much trouble, could you, just real quick, SAY 'CROSS, I AM YOUR—GRK!" Soundbite's eyestalks abruptly bulged, which was probably a sign that Law had even less patience for his antics than I did.

    "I trust," Law continued as though he hadn't been interrupted. "That with your rather impressive knowledge, you're aware that the Op-Op Fruit affords me the ability to murder you without leaving a single trace, as well as frame whoever I fancy for it. So with that in mind, be aware that if any of what I just heard was a lie, this is your chance to apologize. Do so, and your death will be painless."

    "For crying out loud, blame the elephant!" I gargled, still clawing at the non-hand holding me up.

    The grip on my throat did not let up, but I did see Funkfreed getting some of his steel back. "I meant what I said and I said what I meant," the elephant intoned.

    "CAN I AURALLY bitchslap him?" Soundbite requested.

    "Only if he makes another reference like that, unknowing or otherwise," I managed to get out.

    Still, despite the wording, it did the trick. After a few moments' thought, Law brought me back and dropped me onto deck-firma.

    "…You've known a hell of a lot about everything you shouldn't so far. How much more do you know about me?" he tersely demanded.

    I had to take a second to massage my throat, but once I got my breath back, I looked around to ensure nobody else was within range yet, and then I locked my eyes with Law's and spoke firmly.

    "Everything… Trafalgar D. Water Law."

    Law's already tense demeanor turned even more guarded. "And you learned that name, how?"

    I searched my mind for a way to answer that, and one sprung to mind. I wished it was a better answer that was less likely to get my still-functioning organs displayed in twenty different jars, but in for a beri…

    "The same way I know that the night he died at the bastard's hands, you were in the chest silenced by the Calm-Calm Fruit."

    The Supernova's eyes widened, and it took a few seconds for the shock to wear off. Then he let out a sigh and looked at me again, this time with a hint of curiosity instead of a heap of animosity.

    "You're definitely an odd one, Jeremi-ya. You know something that's literally impossible for anyone else to know but you didn't know what your sword just said? You didn't know that the Government did what they did because of… because of my family?" he forced out.

    I grimaced, scratching the back of my neck, before heaving a defeated sigh. "…I know about Flevance because I know about you," I admitted. "But I didn't know that the Government's responsibility in that mess ran that deep. I genuinely thought it was simply a tragedy born of paranoia and blind ignorance…" My eyes narrowed. "Though honestly, I really should've seen this particular plot twist coming."

    "As should I," Law bit out bitterly. He turned back to Funkfreed, who had resumed his full elephant form as things de-escalated from 'total murder'. "So, was that just something you thought I needed to know as the last survivor of Flevance?"

    "More or less," Funkfreed nodded. "I didn't know you were a D… but I guessed it based on what I've learned of them thanks to the Straw Hats, as well as how our luck generally turns."

    Law snorted and looked away. "Well, whatever your reason, thanks. So…" He eyed me curiously. "What now?"

    Funkfreed's trunk reached over to nudge me forward, and Law turned back to me, expression unreadable. As the full opportunity before me sunk in, I straightened and met his eyes.

    "It's no secret that I hate the World Government," I stated. "And it's no surprise that I'm trying to tear them down. What's both—or at least the prior, probably not the latter—is that I've been accumulating forces on our way down the Line to work on it from other angles. Law, I'll be blunt: I've wanted you onboard for months, but I didn't think you'd be open to it until we reached the New World. But…" I tilted my head with a smirk. "If you want a better, more effective means to take down Vergo, Doflamingo, all of his wretched Famiglia, and the whole damned Government with them, then I can and want to give it to you."

    I removed my right gauntlet and held out my bandage-wrapped hand. "Our work requires complete secrecy; only the ones we trust in the leadership roster are allowed to know everything, and that's what I'm inviting you into. Now, it won't be fast… but it will be glorious, I can promise you that. And if Doflamingo doesn't die when the time comes… then it will only be because he's worse off."

    Law stared at my hand for a few seconds before staring wryly at me. "And should I refuse?"

    I smirked lightly. "Then this part of the conversation gets excised from your memory, and you'll have less help from us to reach your goals. Though, considering all the pies that bastard has his fingers in, I seriously doubt that you'll be facing Doflamingo alone either way. In case you haven't noticed?" I spread my arms wide, indicating the whole of Skelter Bite. "My captain, and our crew in general, do not have a track record of 'leaving well enough alone', as some might put it."

    Law's eyes closed, and an expression of pain flitted across his visage; it didn't take a genius to figure out who he was thinking about. After a moment, he raised his head.

    "…I must be out of my mind to agree to an alliance with you…" Then his somber expression split into a mad, outright demonic grin. "But then again, I am a pirate of the same league as you and your captain, so what the heck? The rest of the world can burn for all I care, but if it means avenging Cora in the process? I couldn't care less."

    And with that, he grasped my hand.

    "Let's raise some hell, partner."

    I matched his grin tooth for tooth before glancing back at my shoulder. "Knucker? Contact the relevant parties on the island and get them to convene at the Lucky Rabbit ASAP. We just caught us a Tiger by the tail."

    Patient AN: Ever since I came up with that conspiracy theory behind Flevance, this moment has been the new 'saving Merry' for me, one that I've been looking forward to for months on end.

    Cross-Brain AN: With that said, now we move to the part that we wanted to draw your attention to. We don't make a habit of promoting our P-a-t-r-e-o-n page beyond our initial mention because, after all, it's just a bonus for us that comes from writing a story that people love. However, in this instance, we are going to promote it once more due to our circumstances.

    Next spring, Xomniac completes his final semester of college. At that time, the three of us will meet in person for the first time… for a much more permanent arrangement. We have already begun saving up money to buy a house together and are relying heavily on that income to help support the effort. So, if you're interested—and able, of course—to help our cause, look up the Cross-Brain on the aforementioned site. In addition to helping us out, you'll also find a host of interesting rewards depending on how much you pledge. For example, at the ten dollar monthly reward, you'd have known about Law joining way back in August.

    …Saying that really puts it in perspective. We apologize for how long this took, and we'll strive to get the next one out sooner. We can't promise that we'll succeed… but we can promise that if we don't, it will be worth the wait. We have been saving soooo many things for this arc…
     
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    • Still waiting on how the crew is gonna split up for training and if they break up before finding about Ace and them or after they go their separate ways. After would be closer to the original, but before would mean more action.
     
    It is now 2:38 AM. I have been up since 7:30 AM the previous day. I should be going and getting what little sleep I can.

    But fuck that, I have just gotten done reading one of the best chapters of one of the best fanfics I've ever damn read. Tea is a thing that exists, and sleep is for the weak and bored.
     
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