La Chanson de la Victoire (The Song of Victory): La Petite Arpenteuse (Non, SV, you are a General of France in the Napoleonic War!)

[Magoose]

The Young King (An Alternate Future of France):

(Louis POV)

You hated being King. Perhaps it was the curse of your grandfather, or the sun king haunting your very being, as he discussed matters of state with his advisors, trying to force you out of your disciplined and humble shell, to make you become… the man you did not want to be.

You preferred the soldier's life, to this. You prefer being the young officer, the aide de camp, and potentially a General... that had the stars of France surrounding him, battling for the good of France, and making sure she would never be weak again. From any who dared face her.

You hated the republicans who murdered your mother and father… but you did not hate the idea of the republic. It merely showed you the true problems plaguing France, the corruption, the decadence, the waste that even your parents were apart of.

Therese… she saved you, all those years ago, and she was the idealist that always believed in her fellow man… even when that fellow man was a monster like Robespierre, who nearly killed her before Napoleon swooped in and overthrew the republic. Becoming the first Consul of France… than her emperor.

You were barely a man… a boy who saw a man take your father's crown, and turn France into a greater nation than even your grandfather had seen.

It filled you with regret… and remorse… and relief.

You would be able to serve France… in the way you wanted to, not the way Europe wanted to. You remembered handing him over the crown and swearing your allegiance to the man who saved the woman who was a second mother to you and Marie.

Therese Auclair gave you purpose, a true purpose when the rest of the world saw it as a situation where you were a hostage. A man fighting for your enemies who had killed your parents.

But those who had killed your parents were long dead… something you had taken great joy in being allowed to see their execution. Their whimpering sobs… their voices begging for mercy.

They would see no mercy. Only the basket where tens of thousands of their countrymen and women were executed, begging and pleading… some even said the same words those monsters said.

You had joined in battle after battle, campaign after campaign. Witnessing victory, after victory, as the Star of France rose to the height never seen before.

But Leipzig was the end. Napoleon's ambition had faltered and he was exiled to Elba after he abdicated to you, both to save his children, and to make sure that the Coalition did not place your Uncle onto the throne.

You knew his hatred of the republicans, of the traitors of France, would lead to the deaths of tens of thousands of your people.

Napoleon trusted you, to keep France strong… and you did, to the best of your ability.

You were but Louis Capet… King of France… A hollow title to you. After seeing France rise to such greatness in such a short time, under another.

You were not the man who could make Europe bow.

You were no Napoleon.

But you could do your best, to keep the wishes of Therese alive.

The Parliament would return in time… when you routed out the traitors and those who were not loyal to you…

But one man was without reproach. A man you trusted with your life and that of the life of France.

"Tallyrand." You smiled as you saw the man responsible for France's survival in Vienna. "I trust you have some news for me?"

Tallyrand was an old man yes… but without a doubt, the greatest diplomat in Europe. He was the one who agreed with your plan to restore the parliamentary and representative rule to France itself. With caution as always.

The old man set down a newspaper onto the table where you were eating, and the headline on the front page said it all.

It's words fill you with joy.

L'empereur revient à Paris demain​

You knew that he would return. You read the article and saw that he was returning with many former units of the Grande Armee. Including Therese.

"Talleyrand." You looked at the diplomat with a smile. "Send a servant to gather my uniform, and tell the chronicler and royal lawyer to start drafting articles of abdication."

Talleyrand looked confused. "Are you sure? The rest of Europe will not react well to this action-"

You glared at the old man and smiled warmly to him… Always the man who, besides Therese, who looked out for France, not just himself. "Ride to Vienna Talleyrand… I have a use for you there. Should things go wrong and Napoleon fails… I'd rather have you be able to continue your services for France, rather than be executed by those who would certainly see your head on a pike."

Talleyrand smiled. "I'm glad you trust me so greatly Your Grace."

"It's general now." You replied quietly. "I will not be king when Napoleon arrives… merely his servant."

If there was ever an idea you wished to serve, it was that of France. And Napoleon was the best person to lead her.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Napoleon arrived at the head of a new Grand Armee, and the citizens of Paris cheered.

He marched through the streets like the hero he was, and he did so without a single hesitant loss in his step.

By the time he arrived at Versaille, you were ready to greet him, not as a king, but as the general who served under him.

A smile rose on your face as he saw you again, and he smiled back.

But one thing among all the great unity that France felt, was the weight off your shoulders, and Therese Auclair.

She was the one you had waited so long to see again. Even as you were crowned, you would not bear to look at her without seeing the shame in her eyes, and the guilt in your conscious.

You had become everything you had sworn to never become… a monarch… a man who was chosen by foreigners to lead your nation and follow the rules set by other nations. To be a puppet of those who wanted desperately to never lose the strings that hold the world in their hands.

Even as you fought back against it… you would never be free.

You would either be a slave to the British, to the coalition forces of Europe… or France itself… who needed a leader capable of leading them, no matter the cost.
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"I AM FRANCE AND FRANCE IS ME!" Napoleon shouted to the roaring crowd of tens of thousands of Frenchmen and women and children.

Your burden was off your shoulders.

You believed the people could be wise, and no longer needed a man like your father and Grandfather.

They only needed a man like Napoleon… chosen by the masses to lead them to victory.

That was your hope.

And hope was all you had.


AN: Enjoy.

 

[Magoose]

Frozen Fanfic Idea: The End of the War Part 1efeat and Sorrow

The letter came on the 31st of June, 1815. Barely two weeks have past since Waterloo, and Napoleon was defeated by the British. The Grande Armee, the greatest fighting force Europe had ever known, was defeated by the seventh coalition against France, the coalition that had so long ago, been defeated by the man known as the Master of Europe.

The forces of Sweden had been levied, and trained, and were prepared to cross the Baltic and into Prussian Territory, just as they had been ready seven years prior when your marriage to Elsa was assured after the conspiracy to remove her by British and Prussian coalition members was foiled, both by the freak storm that blocked the entire harbor, and hence the messages getting out, and Prince Hans' confession to Princess Anna, which had cleared her of any wrongdoing that may have befallen her.

But the letter was short and simple.

The Emperor had lost. The Armee crushed. Therese captured by the English, and Napoleon was in retreat. Whether it be to raise an army to fight, or to surrender, you did not know.

Only that the battle was over… and there was no point in continuing to gather forces. Only to stand them down, and prepare for the consequences of Napoleon's actions.

Diplomatically of course. But that was not your strong suit. You preferred to be in the field, either drawing maps of the local countryside or drilling the men so that they may be the very best… so that if any harm were to befall Sweden, they would be able to fight back.

That of course, fell to Elsa, and her ministers and diplomats.

She was certainly a good queen… but she was naive to the outside world, at least to the harsh realities of it. The period of isolation set about by her parents because of her… personal powers should not have been known by the outside world. And while she was taught well… that did not mean she could clearly see every angle.

You prayed to God that she would be wise… and understand that while the ideals she praised from the revolution, and she wished to enact several as part of the reforms for her nation… her powers could only do so much to protect the nation.
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Elsa was playing with the children, teaching them to skate on the small ice pool that she froze very early on in her reign, a few days after that incident at her coronation. It was a place she loved to be around, to relax, and to meditate on her daily routine.

It also turned into a place where the children went to have fun, and make her forget about some of the more questionable actions she may have to partake in.

But now, it was a fun place, with the children skating on the ice as they watched her mother dance like she was born to do it.

"Am I interrupting something?" You asked as you took a seat on the bench beside it.

"No," Elsa replied, taking a glance at your face and understanding immediately what was wrong. "Pauline, Agnarr, could you please give me and your father some alone time." She said.

The two children groaned and they went off the ice, to the two assistants that Elsa had in her retinue, to keep the children entertained and trained while you both attended matters of state. "What is wrong?"

"News from France." You replied. "The Grand Armee has been defeated at Waterloo." Elsa's hand went to cover her face. "Napoleon has disappeared… rumored dead, my sister has been captured by the British."

Elsa paused and allowed herself to take a moment to process. "What shall we do?" She asked.

"Napoleon is finished… The Grand Armee shattered. If we were to fight, it would be against all of Europe, for no reason than to keep the legacy of Napoleon in place… that is impossible, even with your powers." The way you said the words broke your heart. Both for your self and for your family.

Elsa sighed. "And if they come for you… to remove you from my side, as my consort?"

"They will not do that, not to you. Every throne of Europe does not view me as a threat to their power, not alone. Your generals, as talented as they are, are not the marshals of France. They will not make Europe bow." You replied quietly.

No one could make Europe bow… only Napoleon. But you were not Napoleon. You were just a General… an honorable Marshal of France married to the woman you had now grown to love to secure the northern flank of the Russian Empire.

But that was before the disaster in Russia, and you had agreed to a ceasefire that would allow the French army to escape.

You had torn your reputation in the Grande Armee to tatters and were all but exiled to Sweden. Yet you still answered to Napoleon, until the very end.

But now you had no master. Only yourself, and your queen. "But they will certainly send agents to monitor my movements… It might be best if I only command the royal guard for a short period. I want to make sure to route out any traitors amongst the court who may seek to do us harm." You stated.

Elsa gave a small sigh. "Why can't the world be simple?" She said bitterly.

"Well if the world were simple… there would be no need for those who are wise," you replied. You offered an arm. "Your Grace."

She took it, her cold arms wrapping around you. "General."

You escorted her to your quarters, and proceed to plan your next moves.
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It was rather unfortunate that your best-laid plans went awry immediately.

AN: Enjoy and thank you @SzechuanSauce for the idea and some help on this awesomeness... and damn you for making me like the idea!

 

[SzechuanSauce]

Alright, an omake about overprotective dad's try to interrogate their daughter's boyfriend, hope you guys enjoy it!

Intentions with Therese

In the north of France, you would see a camp, inside those camps are tents, inside those tents are men, and in one particular tent, you would find three men in particular sitting down, having a very frank discussion, two old men in full military get-up stood across a handsome young man with thick, wavy hair that reaches the bottom of his neck.

"So," Said one of the old men in uniform, Kellermann, to the young man in front of him and Dumouriez, this was quite a meeting, one he never expected to ever have, especially at his age, "Louis, what are your intentions with Therese?"

Louis Antonine de Saint-Just gave a grin at that, and raised his hands slightly in mock surrender, "Truthfully, sirs, I do not have any special intentions with Therese, our relationship simply goes where the wind blows, and we, to the best of our abilities, try to make it work."

Kellermann gave a sigh of defeat at that, Dumouriez's eyes just narrowed at this boy, what nerve he had to think he was worthy of Therese!

"If that is the case, may you at least tell us how you and Therese met?" Kellermann asked after a few moments of contemplation, a hands on his chin in contemplation. Dumouriez gave a smile at him for that, "Yes!" Dumouriez thought in glee, "Kellermann, you are a genius! We shall tear open this arrogant pretty boy's first meeting with Therese, exposing his filthy intentions, and soon have him out of this camp and this damnable conversation!"

If Saint-Just had any worries of accidentally exposing his filthy intentions with their beloved girl, his face certainly did not indicate it, certainly not the continued look of playfulness and glee on it, "Well, if I may be honest, I was quite lucky to meet her, she is the most extraordinary woman, nay, person I have ever met." He said to them, his joy at having met her evident.

Dumouriez then spoke up, after a few moments of glaring at the boy, trying to see if he could make him explode with nothing but his mind, "Continue." He growled out, his mind now focused in poking as many holes in this boy's story.

"Well, like most of the French citizenry, I was quite enamored with the Hero of Valmy, I heard so many stories about her, how she heroically held of the Prussian menace, how she held her nerve in such a crucial moment, she was a hero of France, and like most heroes, I desired to meet her."

"And when I learned I was to be transferred to Metz, I was truly besides myself with joy at the thought of meeting her, it would be such an honor to meet her, to see a Hero of France."

Dumouriez just gave a silent cheer in his mind, yes! He got this little bastard! He was only with Therese for her status, once they tell her that, they would split up and he would never have to see his face again.

"So" Dumouriez said, leaning in, hiding his glee, but giving out a menacing voice, at least to him anyways, "You like the Hero of Valmy, and not Therese Auclair?"

Saint-Just gave a somewhat horrified gasp at that, "Oh, no, no, no, no, no." He said, seemingly breaking the confident facade he's had, "Aha!" Thought Dumouriez, "I've got you now, you little bastard!"

The young man who's facade has seemingly been broken, began to explain himself, "No, that is not the case for this one." He then went on to elaborate, "You see, when I first met her, I was quite excited to meet the Hero of Valmy, to finally meet our dear hero, yet when I finally did, I realized I loved her more than the hero France made her."

Kellermann was leaning in on his chair in the tent, interested to see what else this boy may further say, all the while Dumouriez's eye was twitching, get to the point, you dandy bastard!

"When I met her, she was the most amazing woman I had ever met, she towered over me, not just in height, but intellectually, she had been reading from a German author named Von Goethe, and our discussion over his novel! I remember every single detail as if it happened yesterday!"

Dumouriez felt like roaring in frustration, damn it! He almost had this little prick! Kellermann just sighed, and turning his head forward to look at Saint-Just, "Look, it is just, we care very deeply about Therese, and we have no wish to see her hurt, especially in such a crucial time."

Dumouriez did not feel like taking Kellermann's subtle and soft approach with this boy, "Listen to this, if you do anything to hurt her, I will skewer you." He said in a loud voice, showing he was fully serious about what he's saying.

Saint-Just just stood up, a serious expression on his face, he drew the saber that was on his hip, Kellermann and Dumouriez were reaching for their weapons, standing, thinking the boy was planning to attack them, instead he threw the sword on the table that separated them, and said, with full seriousness in his voice, "Sirs, if I do anything to hurt Therese, this is the sword to skewer me with."

At that particular moment, as if by fate's hand, she was guided to end this conversation, Therese herself walked into the tent, seeing the three men with a saber on the table, just coughed into her hand, and after a few moments, said, "Well, I hope I am not interrupting anything important, but Louis, I need to discuss a few things with you."

His carefree smile returning, he turned to her and said brightly, "Surely Therese, what is it we need to discuss?" while the both of them walked off outside the tent.

Kellermann just stood there, processing the sequence of events that transpired over the few minutes he had with Saint-Just, "Well, he was certainly an interesting man, I can say that at least." While Dumouriez himself was examining the saber, after a while, he put it down and said, "Interesting, and a fool, I will be carrying this sword around everytime I am near him, to remind him of what I would do. Though he wasn't fazed by my threat, do you think I should have borught my musket?"

 

[SzechuanSauce]

Feeling bored, enjoy my clobbed together, and somewhat decent rendition of Alexander Hamilton but with Bri replacing Alex

[Dupont]
How does a peasant, giant, son of a no-one and a
Frenchman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten
Spot in the provinces by providence, impoverished, in squalor
Grow up to be a king and a scholar?

[Jean-Philippe Laurens]
The one-franc soldier that fought the king
Got a lot farther by working a lot harder
By being a lot smarter
By being a self-starter
By twenty, everyone knew they got a fighter

[Emmanuel Sieyes]
And every day while men were being angered and starved
Away across the provinces, he struggled and kept his guard up
Inside, he was longing for something to be a part of
The brother was ready to fight, kill, steal, or barter

[Maximilien Robespierre]
Then a revolution came, and devastation reigned
Our man saw his future drip, dripping down the drain
Put a pencil to his temple, connected it to his brain
And he wrote his first refrain, a testament to his pain

[Dupont]
Well, the word got around, they said, "This boy is nothing, man"
Took up a musket just to send him to the fightin' land
"Get your spurs, don't forget from whence you came, and
The world's gonna know your name. What's your name, man?"

[BRIAN AUCLAIR]
Brian Auclair
My name is Brian Auclair
And there's a million things I haven't done
But just you wait, just you wait...

[Pierre Auclair]
When he was young his mother expired, full of it, plague-ridden
Two years later, see Bri and his father bed-ridden
Half-dead sittin' in their own sick, the scent thick

[FULL COMPANY EXCEPT Auclair (whispering)]
And Bri got better but his father went quick

[Napoleon Bonaparte & COMPANY, BOTH]
Moved in with the neighbors, the neighbors committed suicide
Left him with nothin' but ruined pride, something new inside
A voice saying
"Bri, you gotta fend for yourself."
He started trainin' and readin' every treatise and book on the shelf

[Dupont & COMPANY, BOTH]
There would have been nothin' left to do
For someone less astute
He woulda been dead or destitute
Without a cent of restitute
Started workin', fightin against his late father's landlord
Fightin' nobles, lords, and everything he was raised to adore
Scammin' for every book he can get his hands on
Plannin' for the future see him now as he stands on (ooh)
The winds of change sendin' you to a new land
In the Republic you can be a new man

[COMPANY & Brian, WOMEN, MEN]
In the Republic you can be a new man (Just you wait)
In the Republic you can be a new man (Just you wait)
In the Republic you can be a new man
In the Republic, the Republic
Just you wait!

[COMPANY]
Brian Auclair (Brian Auclair)
We are waiting in the wings for you (waiting in the wings for you)
You could never back down
You never learned to take your time!
Oh, Brian Auclair (Brian Auclair)
When France and Arendelle sings for you
Will they know what you overcame?
Will they know you rewrote the game?
The world will never be the same, oh

[Dupont, MEN, & COMPANY]
The army is in the town now
See if you can spot him
Just you wait
Another soldier
Comin' up from the bottom
Just you wait
His enemies couldn't destroy him
France still remembers him.


[Severin, Therese & Kellermann and Dumoureiz]
We fought with him

[Laurens]
Me? I died for him

[Bonaparte]
Me? I trusted him

[Elsa]
Me? I loved him

[Dupont]
And me? I'm the damn man that buried him

[COMPANY]
There's a million things I haven't done
But just you wait!

[Dupont]
What's your name, man?

[COMPANY]
Brian Auclair!

 

[SzechuanSauce]

This one was pretty easy, just had to change the names up a bit, game's the same with idealistic revolutionaries.

[Brian]
I may not live to see our glory!

[Napoleon/Adalene/Therese]
I may not live to see our glory!

[Brian]
But I will gladly join the fight!

[Napoleon/Adalene/Therese]
But I will gladly join the fight!

[Briab]
And when our children tell our story…

[Napoleon/Adalene/Therese]
And when our children tell our story…

[Brian]
They'll tell the story of tonight

[Adalene]
Let's have another round tonight

[Napoleon]
Let's have another round tonight

[Brian]
Let's have another round tonight

[Therese]
Raise a glass to freedom
Something they can never take away
No matter what they tell you
Raise a glass to the four of us

[Adalene/Therese]
Tomorrow there'll be more of us

[Therese/Napoleon/Adalene]
Telling the story of tonight

[Brian]
They'll tell the story of tonight

[Therese/Adalene/Napoleon]
Raise a glass to freedom
Something they can never take away

[Brian]
No matter what they tell you

[Adalene/Napoleon]
Let's have another round tonight

[Adalene]
Raise a glass to the four of us

[Brian/Napoleon/Therese/Adalene]
Tomorrow there'll be more of us

[Brian/Therese]
Telling the story of tonight

[Adalene/Napoleon]
Let's have another round tonight

[Brian/Adalene/
ENSEMBLE & Therese/Napoleon/ENSEMBLE]
They'll tell the story of tonight
Raise a glass to freedom
They'll tell the story of tonight
Raise a glass to freedom
They'll tell the story of tonight
They'll tell the story of—

[FULL ENSEMBLE]
Tonight

 

[SzechuanSauce]

Alright, I'll see if I can get dad Brian correctly, his son is very adamant about something, hopefully this is good Frozen fanfiction.

Don't Go Daddy!

Brian Auclair was usually quite good at figuring out problems to solutions, very good at it actually, most people called him a genius for that, but he just chalked that off as flattery. But now, there was one problem he couldn't seem to solve.

"Are you gonna give me back my hat?"

A stubborn toddler with a tricorn hat behind his hands.

Agnarr didn't even think about his answer, he just turned his head up to him, as stubborn as anyone can be, "Nah."

"Why?"

"I don't want you to go."

At hearing this, Brian gave a sigh and rubbed his face, I don't want you to go. Brian didn't want to go himself, he liked his life the way it is, a good home, family, quiet, that's all he ever wanted, and he had it.

Of course, that good home was a giant palace in a foreign land, that family included a wife who had magical ice powers, a talking snowman, an iceman who talked to a reindeer, a hyperactive child in a grown woman's body, and to be fair, there wasn't much quiet with them, but still, he had it.

He knelt down to his son, put a hand to his shoulder and gave him a look, he looked so much like him, same hair, same face, same eyes, yet it seemed like he had inherited his mother's height, never the tallest person around, while also inheriting her love of chocolates, leaving him a bit pudgy.

"I have to go."

"Why?"

"Because..." "Because of complex geopolitical reasons including, but not limited to, the rise of Liberalism in Europe and the pushback against it by conservative forces, blood feuds created by our forefathers, the partition of a nation long opressed by its neighbors, Nationialism, and the humongous egos of the world leaders that prevent them from forgetting slights against their pride."

"Because I have to."

At that remark, Agnarr crossed his little arms together, the hat now visibly near his left arm, and he gave a pout, "I don't like it, me and mommy never see you."

"I don't like it as well, I hate having to go to war and leaving my family behind, I hate the uncertainty, the thought I'll never see them again." Brian thought to himself, at that, he held his son close and hugged him, after a few moments, he could feel him hugging back, and could hear sniffling, it seems his son was crying.

"Please, don't go, I don't want you to." His son said through tears, and at hearing his son cry, he held him even tighter. When he finally seemed to stop crying, he let go of his son and looked at him, "I'm sorry, but I have to, but, do you trust me?" Brian said to Agnarr, while helping to wipe away the remainder of his tears.

At that, Agnarr nodded his head, whatever else, he trusted his daddy, he could do anything.

"Well then, do you trust that I'll be back?"

After a few moments, Agnarr nodded his head, yes, he trusted him, but first, "Do you promise?" He asked his father.

"I promise."

Agnarr then extended a pinky to him, "Pinky promise?"

At this, Brian gave a smile, he extended his pinky across his son's pinky, "Pinky promise."

After they let each other go, Agnarr said, "Okay, I guess you can have your hat." While giving his father his tricorn back.

Brian then put his old hat back on his head, and gave one last look to his son, "Be good, okay?"

"Okay."

After this reassurance, Brian's thought went back to the war, "To Russia, either our soon to be greatest triumph or our soon to be greatest defeat. We shall either be hailed in our capitals, or corpses spread around the Russian countryside."

OOC: Hope you guys like it, sorry if its somewhat to extremely cheesy.

 

[Magoose]

Let France Decide: (A Speech By Thérèse Auclair)

People of France, Men of the Army of the Republic, lend me your ears and listen to me as I speak.

My Name is Thérèse Auclair, General of the Army of the Rhine, The Petite Arpenteuse, The Shield of Valmy, The Liberator of Mayence, And The Firefighter of France. But you know my name.

You stand here at a crossroads, with the Armies of the Ancient Regime trampling through France, our homeland, to install another King who would oppose every idea of Life, of Liberty and Fraternity that we have now, for the first time in History, are graced with.

We fight one another because we are too afraid to take the chance to live for ourselves, in the opportunity that we now have. We would soon rather take a king and a crown, because we know of it and are comforted by the notion of being ruled, instead of going on our own path.

We are at a crossroads in our history, where we can choose to live as one people, with one voice, as citizens of our great republic. Or will we live as subjects to a despot… one who may be wise, but not bound to his people, or subject to their laws, as we are to his will.

I look at you now, staring at me like a madwoman, speaking to you. Some might be calling for my head for daring to speak!

But that is the beauty of revolution, change can now be openly expressed in the streets, and can be openly interpreted in any way.

But I ask you all, to think, what has the Ancient Regime done for me and mine, while they ruled. Have they proven, time and time again, to be extravagant, decadent, weasels who use the coffers of the state to pay for their excesses.

Have any of you seen relief when the grain prices were skyrocketing and food became scarce? Did any of you hear of any plans to relieve us? To help us?

Or did they ignore us, as they always have, focusing on themselves?

I say we no longer bow down to the Ancient Regime! No longer bow to Kings and Despots and let the people decide the future of France!

Let France decide her destiny, as she always should!

AN: Enjoy a little speech.

 

[SzechuanSauce]

Alright, let me try and get an omake out, hope you guys like it.

Who Wrote This?!

"As he gave another powerful thrust into his beloved, he looked down at her and saw, to his immense arousal, the Queen of Arendelle's beautiful face forming an expression that can only come from the highest of pleasures. At that sight, he finally released his-"

"Frans, I've heard enough, you can stop reading it now."

Frans was never more glad to hear anything in his entire life, perhaps now he wouldn't feel like fainting from the utter embarassment of reading the book to him.

When he had told Brian of it, he had never expected him to have such a piqued interest in it, though that was perhaps something he should have, what with Brian's reputation as having read more books than most scholars have. What he never would have expected was Brian asking him to read of the book directly to him, which led to the current situation of Frans, somehow simultaneously growing more pale, and more red at being forced to read through a very descriptive love scene.

For Brian, he just looked thoroughly annoyed at the situation, one eye twitching at the descriptions of him engaging in various sexual acts.

He then placed his hands on his temple, "Truly, I should have read the novel myself to spare you the torture of doing it." He said as he continued to massage his forehead, "Though perhaps the description should have given the both of us a fair warning on its contents."

Frans would agree with that, the description of "A powerful love story between the scruffian soldier from France and the beautiful Snow Queen of Arendelle." probably should have tipped him of about what the book would be like, alongside the book being marked for adults, they felt rather stupid at not realizing those implications.

"S-s-so" Frans stuttered out after a period of awkward silence, "What are you going to do about this? Would you like to ban it, perhaps?" He questioned him, "You are well within your rights to do so."

"No" Brian responded immediately, the implication being that he did not even think for a second of banning this rather steamy story that actively involved him, "I am not so sensitive that I would ban books involving me, and besides." He said to Frans, "It will make me seem a tyrant, I cannot ban every book that offends me, it'll seem like the act of a power drunk megalomaniac, and the ban wouldn't work, somehow, people will somehow find a way to smuggle this book in to read."

The way he spoke of that statement made it seem like he had absolute certainty on the subject, and Frans realized that him speaking in such a tone that he was merely speaking from experience.

After this realization, he spoke to Brian, who still had a contemplative and rather annoyed expression on him, "Well good, you are showing that you're not like the old regime, banning books that displease them, and all that nonsense, good on you for that."

Brian just responded to that with a wave of his hand, still looking quite annoyed at this whole thing, "Yes, well, that doesn't mean I have to actually like it, but still." He was now looking more contemplative than he was annoyed, "Who wrote this book? The novel itself doesn't state the author."

Frans was wondering that too, from the descriptions and detail of the novel, it was clearly written by someone who had quite a bit of knowledge into daily life of the Royal Family, but who could it be? Was it perhaps one of the helpers inside the castle?

Meanwhile, in Arendelle Castle

"And so, after resting for a brief moment, Brian felt Elsa's hand grasp his-"

"Anna" Kristoff interrupted his wife's reading, still rather weirded out by the revelation "Why would you write this?"

Anna herself just sported a mischevious grin at that line of questioning, "Oh, come on Kristoff." She spoke impishly, "People are always saying I should take up a hobby."

"Yeah, but does your hobby have to involve describing the sex lives of your sister and brother in law?"

"Hey, its their fault!" She defended herself, "They're always so noisy, this is just payback!"

 

[SzechuanSauce]

Alright, let's see the story I can give out.

A Princess sneaks into Camp.

"No, Durand, you cannot ride a bear into battle."

"But sir! Just imagine how the Russians would react, they'd piss their breeches the second they see Hercule!"

"I somehow doubt that would be the case." He thought wryly, he had fought the Russians before, and they wouldn't be scared of a mad man riding a giant brown bear into battle.

"No, Durand."

He looked like he was prepared to argue more for it, but a sharp look from Brian dissuaded him from that, with a grumpy "Alright sir." He left the tent to go back to train the soldiers, but the look in his eyes showed he wasn't done arguing about it.

As he left, Brian just placed his head on the table, god his job was a tiring one, especially where he was now. Separated from his home, stuck in a foreign land as an agreement between France and Arendelle, and dealing with bored soldiers getting more restless by the day was truly tiring.

"A short rest wouldn't hurt" He thought to himself, and yeah, he earned his rest, he deserves the chance to lie down and reinvigorate himself.

A while later, a guard entered Brian's tent with a girl in tow, "Sir." He said, and shook Brian awake. "Huh." Brian said as he awoke, still blinking away the sleepiness, he looked toward the guard and spoke in an irritated tone, "What is it you need." Damn it, that was a good rest, there better be a good reason for this.

"I'm sorry for interrupting your rest sir." He said in a respectful tone, "But we caught this one" He gestured over to the girl he dragged into the tent, "Sneaking into the camp, we think she might be a spy, so we brought her to you to decide what to do with her."

"Hey Brian! You never told me you had a bear with you, why didn't you tell me you had one with you?"

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me" Brian thought to himself.

Brian could feel a headache coming on, he had no particular idea how she managed to sneak in, but this was really giving him a migraine.

"Anna" He said with a hand massaging his temple, sitting on his chair, in his tent, trying to rid himself of the pain he felt there, "What are you doing here?"

Princess Anna, the troublesome red headed girl he had grown to know over his stay, and who was currently being held quite tightly by one of the guards of the camp, gave a big smile, and answered cheerfully, "I'm here to help!"

"What exactly do you mean by that?"

"I wanna help you win the war!"

"And how exactly are you gonna do that? You're not exactly 100 thousand men." He thought to himself snarkily, but answered to her, his tone as measured as can be, with "That is nice and all, but its much too risky for you to be here." He was hoping that he could convince her to get out of the camp, and back to the castle.

Obviously, that didn't convince her, "Why would that be risky?" She gave a frown at that, obviously not liking what he was implying, "I can take care of myself!" And it was true, she obviously knew her way out of a scrap, and was resourceful enough in situations, but that's not what Brian meant by that.

"Anna" He tells her in the most diplomatic voice he can muster, "You're a princess." At that revelation, the guard acquired a look of shock on his face, and quickly letting go of the now revealed crown princess, looked like he was about to apologize for being so rough with her, but Anna just said it was okay.

After that revelation, Brian told him he can leave his tent, which he did quite hurredly, looking quite embarassed that he unknowingly roughly handled an actual princess.

After he left, Anna then turned back to Brian, "What does that have to do with anything?" She asked pointedly, "I climbed the North Mountain, fought of wolves, a giant ice monster, and my ex-fiance, I can take care of myself just fine."

While she had a point on that end, Brian still thinks she's not grasping the point of his reluctance, "Its not that I don't think your capable." He told her, and it was no lie, he's seen her handle herself, which amazed Brian at the start, always thinking that most royals didn't know how to handle themselves, but then, the Arendelle Royal family wasn't a normal one, that's for sure. "Its just that, well." He tried to explain to her why she shouldn't be hear, but didn't know how to put it properly, "What if you get hurt?" He said to her, "What if you die? Your sister would be inconsolable." He shuddered at that thought, she'd probably turn the country into an eternal snowstorm, and worse for him, she would blame him and have him executed.

The thought of that gave Anna pause, and she began to look thoughtful, but it soon morphed into a determined expression, "Brian" She said to him, strength and determination in her voice, "I'm not afraid, I know the risks."

Brian just gave a sigh, and leaned back into his chair, it seemed like he can't convince her to leave, "Are you sure?" He asked her, and she responded with a forceful, "Yes." After a few moments, Brian gave a defeated sigh and said "Alright, you can stay."

She gave an excited whoop at that, "Alright!" She looked real excited right now, and leaned into him real closely, "What can I do?! Can I learn how to use a musket? Shoot a cannon? Oh, oh, are you gonna teach me how to swordfight?!"

"No." Brian said deviously, "I have a different job for you."

As the sun was hanging brightly in the sky, Anna gave a grunt as she carried two buckets of urine with her. Brian decided, as punishment for her sneaking into camp, she would now be responsible for carrying the urine buckets that they use to make gunpowder. "Oh, hey Hercule, how are ya?" She said to the bear, who gave a light roar as a greeting and went back to what he was doing.

Brian was just glad that things were running smoothly, hopefully there won't be any more surprises.

"MON DIEU! IT TALKS!"

"THAT SNOWMAN CAN TALK! ITS THE WORK OF THE DEVIL."

"PIERRE, GET THE CRUCIFIX AND HOLY WATER!"

"Oh come on!" Brian thought in annoyance as he saw a cheerful talking snowman near the entrance of the camp, "Looks like this will be a long day."

 

[SzechuanSauce]

One more story from me.

Conversations

"So." Anna said, not really knowing what to say to Brian, "How are you doing?" "How are you doing?! Seriously Anna, that's the best you can come up with?!" She scolded herself incredulously.

For Brian's part, who was seated next to her inside Arendelle's royal castle, also had no idea what to say, for the most part, he kept to himself and was just as lost in interactions as anyone else was. "Okay." Brian said, giving a quick response so that the conversation would hopefully end.

Alright, Anna decided, she's had enough of this subtlety stuff, and she could barely stand the awkwardness more than Brian did. So, she just went up and spoke much more directly, "Listen, you're gonna get married to my sister, the least you can do is talk to her, or at least me."

Brian just gave a sigh at that, my god, why the hell did he have to do this? He'd much rather be stuck in some battle in the open than talk, or god forbid, socialize with anyone he didn't need to. "What do you even want to know?" He spoke in an irritated tone, not used to these types of talks.

"You could talk more about yourself, for one." Anna suggested, and it was true, beyond his name, him being in the army, and being the Emperor of the French's brother-in law, she barely knew a thing about him. "Like, where were you born? What kind of things do you do for fun? Stuff like that."

Alright, Brian decided, might as well just get it over and done with, "I was born in Normandy, around the coast of France." He revealed to her, "And, I guess I like to read for fun? I also like to make maps, if I have the time."

"What kind of stuff do you like to read?" Anna pressed on, hoping to know more about him.

"My god is this woman persistent." Brian thought in annoyance, not really interested in revealing anything about himself.

"Well?" She insisted when he didn't speak up in turn, "What do you read?"

"I really don't feel like telling you anything more than than what's necessary."

"Oh come on!" She complained, "Pretty soon, you'll be living with us."

"I don't see what that has to do with anything. I'm not gonna talk to people if I don't want to."

"Okay, how about this." She had an idea for him to open up, or at least get him to talk more, "If you tell me about yourself, I'll tell you about myself." She hoped that this was gonna work, "You tell me the types of book you read, I'll tell you about the ones I like to read, deal?"

"And why exactly would I accept this deal?" He asked with his eyebrow raised, not knowing why she even proposed this, "I'm not exactly gonna get anything out of this besides some small details about you."

"Yeah, and I'll know small details about you, its an even trade." When he didn't look convinced at that argument, she suddenly had another idea, "Well." She said slyly, "If you accept it, you get to leave this conversation, won't you?"

Well, she had a good point there, Brian decided. At least it'll be an even trade, so he'll at least get something out of it, no matter how small it may have been.

"Alright, fine." He gave in, mostly so he could be allowed to leave, and a small part of him was curious to know more about her, but he would never admit that.

"So, back to the things you read, what are they?" She went back to the question she had before, hoping to get some answers from him.

"I-I mostly read books on philosophy, or history." He somewhat stuttered at the start, not really used to revealing this kind of information, "They help me pass the time, they help keep me occupied."

"Oh, cool." She said in response to the books he read, and to think of it, he really did seem like the type of person who spends most of his time reading books on philosophy or history, his quiet attitude certainly didn't give any hints he enjoyed any swashbuckling adventure books.

"For me, I also read a lot of stuff, I was cooped up in here for so long, and reading was one of the few things to pass the time." She remembered those lonely times, barely being able to speak to anyone, not knowing why, and the only thing to help keep her occupied were the books in the library.

"Oh?" This piqued Brian's interest more than he thought it would. "Why were you cooped up in the castle?" He asked her.

"Ah, ah, ah." She raised a hand at his question, "First, you gotta tell me something about youself."

"Oh, alright." He gave a sigh, he doesn't tell anyone this, mostly because no one actually asked, and even if they did, he probably wouldn't have told him. "When I was younger, I was really sick, I had to be confined to my bed all day." He reminisced about those times, being stuck under a blanket, the fevers, not even being strong enough to walk, "I wasn't allowed to touch anyone, people were scared that if I did, then they'd get sick too, only thing I could do back then was read the books I found lying around the house."

Anna really didn't think that Brian would have been a sickly child, she actually thought he'd be one of the most physically active of them, seeing as he's about one of the tallest people she knew, taller than Kristoff, but smaller than Oaken. Then again, she decided, this probably would explain him being so private.

"So at least I know that about him, he was stuck at home all the time, like me and Elsa." Anna thought to herself

"So, I told you something, you tell me something." He reminded her of their deal, "Why were you cooped up in here for so long?"

"I-I honestly don't know." She confessed to him, and when she saw him look annoyed at that, feeling like he was just ripped off, she explained further, "No really, I don't remember. One day, I was playing with my sister in the snow, next thing I knew, all the gates were being closed, and I wasn't even allowed to see her."

"So." Brian began, making a few deductions of his own "I'm guessing that it might have something to do with your sister's powers?"

"It, it might, I don't know." She said in frustration, "I was so young, and no one would tell me anything."

"Did they ever plan to tell you?"

"Ah, first, you gotta tell me why you like making maps."

Brian gave a small smile at that, unexpectedly enjoying her company, "Well, my father was a surveyor, and he always took me with him when I was healthy enough."

"Oh, that's pretty nice."

"Yeah."

And so, they continued their back and forth with each other, both growing more comfortable with the other, and as Anna talked about the time she snuck down to get some sweets, he thought to himself, "Perhaps life here won't be so bad." He gave a small chuckle at that, which Anna immediately noticed and asked what was so funny, "At least I have good company."