La Chanson de la Victoire (The Song of Victory): La Petite Arpenteuse (Non, SV, you are a General of France in the Napoleonic War!)

Parlez-vous français?

  • Oui, je parle très bien français!

    Votes: 162 14.2%
  • Un peu.

    Votes: 189 16.6%
  • What? Francis? Nope.

    Votes: 331 29.1%
  • What? Oh, don't be silly, my dear!

    Votes: 161 14.2%
  • ¿El español es lo suficientemente bueno?

    Votes: 86 7.6%
  • Ich verstehe dich irgendwie.

    Votes: 64 5.6%
  • Я очень хорошо говорю по-русски.

    Votes: 64 5.6%
  • 我听不懂。

    Votes: 35 3.1%
  • 何を言っているのですか?

    Votes: 28 2.5%
  • nuqneH pa'!

    Votes: 10 0.9%
  • فرانسه بلدنستم

    Votes: 7 0.6%

  • Total voters
    1,137
To General Napoleon (CGTM2002)
Oh, small idea I had, since my story with Davout was classified with sidestory, which suggests that it might be canon, here's a small thing Therese might do to help Napoleon out in his possible expedition.

To General Napoleon

Salutations, my old friend, it has been a long time. We both have come a long way since the chaos of the early years of the revolution, I became the hero of Valmy and the liberator of Mayence, quite the accomplishment for a young woman not even in the prime of her life, while you have also risen quite high from what I gathered, from a simple artillery officer, to General Vendemiaire to commander of the army of Italy and now it seems commander of the expedition to Egypt, your star has risen quite high, and may it rise even higher in the years to come.

Much has happened since we first met in the tribunal, much has changed and yet much still stay the same, when once there was chaos and madness within the National Convention, now there is naught but chaos and madness within the Committee of Public Safety, Robespierre has gone mad for all the world to see, he persecutes countless citizens with naught a whiff of pity. Britain pestered us then, now they pester us still, once it was Prussians and Austrians that caused the Republic much grief, it would seem that the Ottomans and Egyptians who will now cause you grief, to offset your inevitable grief, by commander Severin's recommendations, I am transferring a young officer from my army to yours, his name is Louis-Nicolas Davout, may he offer you good services in the wars to come.

May you have good fortune in the coming days, forever yours

Therese Auclair
 
Last edited:
Never say never (Tjakari)
I cannot comment on that, but they are not in any danger of getting beheaded. Even Rob isn't crazy enough to murder children yet.
Small mercy that it is.

Never say never kids.


9 Thermidor
Paris, la République
The nation had been reduced.

That was the harshest truth of the 9th​ of Thermidor.

There were many like it, but that was the worst. When the armies fell, there were always those who would say, "We will raise another." Each time, they had said that. Now, they bite their tongues.

Now the bonds had defaulted. So they had no money.

No nation would receive their diplomats. So they had no friends, had no trade, could make no peace.

Their soldiers were butchered where they stood. Surrender was death for any French man who didn't carry a cross.

So now there were no men to train, no soldiers to drill.

Like the Romans of old, the men of the convention had sat around in their seats of power and spoke of victory. For years, when battles were lost they had called it "assured". When battles were won, they called it "destiny" and now they spoke the word at all only in prayers. It hurt too much to say it any louder. It took too much effort.

Accusations were far more easy. The assembly was den of cannibals in those final days.
"Where is the virtue you called for!"

Even in the twilight of their republic, the air in the conventional hall was rich to the taste. It smelled of fear and malice.

"Président, answer your convention!"

The men of this place were hounds, snapping at each other's shadows for fear they might be bit themselves.

When they did not curse each other, they called out the names of fallen generals, turncoats and failures, and martyrs.

But they were gone, either to the ages, to the enemy or the Americas.

So they named strangers instead. And then they started calling out names from beyond the walls; dukes and traitors and zealots with crosses branded on their skin. They named them all for death. Summoned them to the assembly. To answer for crimes against the people.

The names of their curses were Cathelineau, the leader of the Chrétiens. They called for the head of every Habsburg. Of the Tsar, for the Sultan in Constantinople and all the other generals massed outside the gates.

They cursed all the capitals.

They cursed Washington.

They cursed every throne in Europe.

By the time the armies had massed near the city, the walls of what was left of their fair France, every nation that did not have deputy in their halls was a Carthage. They're countries were kindling to be burned, blighted, sewn in salt with all the spite of their legions.

But alas, there were no legions.

The armies of the republic were a shadow on the wall in St. Petersburg now, a creeping distress in the gentry of His Majesty's London. Vienna knew them well, the Prussians weep at their mention, and no nation could forget the armies that broke their fragile illusions. That taught them fear. That hung their children.

But those legions were gone now.

"They are grass in the field", was how Citoyen Paine put it.

And the grass in the field was trampled by all the Old Men Europe could muster. These were the children of Charlemagne, of feudal ignorance, of the church and every evil on the continent. The masses they raised up knew nothing of what they fought for, yet here they stood. Atop the fallen men of the Republic. The better men.

All the venom of the assembly was as good as silence. All the strength left in the republic could not deliver these barbarians to justice.

And so the deputies despaired, and called out for blood that could be delivered.

Blood to be spilled for blood spilt.

A vote passed the convention.

Hardly anyone alive to see the vote ever told the margin.

The fact of its passage was more than enough.

Whether yay or nay made only a little difference, by noon of the 9th​ every soul in Paris walked the world on borrowed time.
Children were hid away or armed with knives. The women found old arms, blades, and every thing that carved flesh that could be found. All the men that were left did likewise. There was no quarter for the armies, for the marshals and there would be none for the city.

The militia of the Republic gathered in short order to the plaza, to the Place de la Révolution. It was a mighty thing, all those people, but the most pitiful in all the world.

Even then, the streets could fill with the people. Though they were tired, and angry, and ushered on only by the call of that hour. It was the stage for a final act the world awaited without patience and all the haste it could manage.


The children of the Capets cried. The little one was a wild-eyed little thing, that had to be dragged to the blade. He screamed for his mother, the Austrian, he screamed for his sister.
Saint-Just had prepared a speech, but the rain was heavy, and the child could not be calmed.
They took his head with a thunderclap. His sister followed after.
She snarled and wailed when she saw the blade come down, she tried even to run, but she was beaten to silence before another scene could be made.
She was limp when the guillotine took her.



The stage was not taken down this time. The blade was not cleaned. The floor of the platform was soaked through with the blood of the young and none were permitted to disturb the scene.

"Let the rain swallow what the sangsues have taken. I'll have no man wash this blade until every crown in this world is empty." Were the words of Saint-Just. No one would hide what was done here. There was no shame.

This contraption was the pride of the nation, the answer for a millenia of tyranny. And it would last till the end of the republic.

"Let their gods and priests look on it with terror. The revolution yet lives."

The shots upon the walls had been ceased for that day, negotiations had been held between the forces of the coalition and the republic. The Chrétiens had demands for the Dauphin. Though the rest of the coalition did not care to make deals, the royalists forced their hands. They had threatened every army in the Kingdom of France with war should they take the city without securing the King's children.

There was to be a meeting on neutral ground that day, in the morning, but it never came from the Parisiennes. When their tardiness turn to insult, a small troupe of envoys were sent directly to the gates of Paris.

They demanded that the republicans produce the Dauphin and his family.

They would show leniency, they said.

The gates were opened enough to let in the envoy, if he so chose. It was like walking into hell, they'd have been fools to go in, but go in they did.

They had come with no weapons, in good faith.

They were guided to the Place. They were each given a basket and sent back through the gates.

One basket for the heads, a few more for the legs, and the arms, and the rest.

They were called gifts for the coalition.

The envoys wept as they rode into their camp.

Of course, the shots began at once.

"Le Cri de La Croix" was sung into the night as the zealots continued to fire in the dark. Their shots going wild, wasting what was left of their dry powder until their voices grew hoarse, and the rest of the coalition forces had sent envoys to complain.
None in Paris would sleep easy that night.



Following the execution, Robespierre was found atop the walls.

He had requisitioned what was something of a tent, it was hardly more than a tarp on stilts, but it sufficed to hide his shame.

The figure looking over the battlements of the city was a pitiful mess of a man. His spirit was gone from him, and he had obviously drunk himself to sleep. It was the only way anyone could have slept through the night that close to the wall. Beneath the pockmarked face and the dried vomit was a soul at odds with itself. Yearning to die, but too afraid to make the jump; so he idles here at the edge of death and life waiting for fate to make its choice for him.

It was a despicable sight.

Every man and woman in the garrison knew it was.

To stop the news from spreading, the garrison had kept this to itself. They had tried to remove him from his perch multiple times before the fighting began, before he could harm morale further than he already had.

It was bad enough to see your leader in despair. To have him die, drunk and broken was an injury to an insult that couldn't be suffered. Not this late, not with the armies of the continent staring them down and battering them with every piece of artillery from Biscay to Tartary.

Yet, he still would not budge.

"Send for my Antoine…" He had begged the garrison captain before passing out once more. "Please monsieur…" That he was understood through the slurred mess that left his mouth was perhaps the final miracle of the Revolution.

In time, after deciphering what the poor fool had muttered, Saint-Just was produced. He had been organizing the final defense of the city. Erecting barricades, storing powder, making blades.

"Leave us," said the young man, "I will talk sense into him."


L'Incorruptible! Strewn out like a drunkard.

It was almost enough to make Louise Saint-Just shed tears. But by all that was right in this world, it set him alight. The work of all these years, all this blood, and here he was sobbing to himself in a restless sleep.

"Désenivrez!" he sounded off, "Maximilien, wake up!"

Maximilien was shook near to death before his eyes opened. It was hardly better once they did.
At the sight of his friend of all these years, Robespierre was reduced to tears. Inelegant and without a shred of pride, he tried to wrap his arms around Antoine, just for that tiny comfort.

"We're going to die Louise…" he whispered, "They're coming for us."

"You sound like a child, it's disgusting." Unbelievable

"I can't go on like this… I'm mad Louise, did you know that?" he said trying to piece together his thoughts. "Is that why they're here? Because we're mad?" He was manic.

"You're not yourself Maximilien." Louise answered, cold, his image of the man before him broken. "They are here to die, the same as us. And only that."

"Is it really that simple?"

"Everything in this world, outside this tent, is simple." Louise finished. "You are broken, and done. If you are so tired of living you should fall off this wall!"

They locked eyes for a long time, then.

It was deadly quiet outside the tent. All the garrison could hear what they had said. No doubt about it.

"Well I will see to it then."

"Surely you don't mean that."

"I haven't meant anything more truly since I can remember," he said, "And I remember much."


"Well then…. I suppose I will see you outside.
"Yes, give me a moment to clear my head."

"From up here, the Chrétiens look almost French." said the tired man, "Don't they, Antoine?"

"Oui, they could have been, once."

" I agree, maybe they will be, in another time. Surely it doesn't all end here?"

"Not on my life."

"Au revoir, mon frère."

"Au revoir."
 
Last edited:
An Avignon Wedding (Astra Myst)
Is it shit? Yes
Do I care? Not enough to stop me from posting it.
Title it as you will


...Honestly I have nary an idea how I got into this situation, it all seems like the story of a horrible play. The Austrian woman you recognize as Theresa seems to be completely and utterly drunk rambling about to a nearby priest of the chapel about hymns and the arts, at least she seems to be sober enough to still speak french, although her austrian origins are clearly showing. I give the poor clergyman a look of sympathy, it truly must be a test sent to him from The Lord, please, stay strong, brother in faith, even if you are french, and catholic, no one deserves a punishment such as the one you are receiving right now.

But Theresa is only a part of the situation currently at hand, there is also Teresa that is..flirting. With chapel goers. With french chapel goers. French chapel goers attending a wedding. Her slightly sun-kissed face born from days working under the Iberian sun drunkenly laughing and smiling like she has heard the funniest joke in the world and it is reserved for her and her alone. What's worse is how entranced the man she is talking to seems to be, sharing in her amusement. How is she doing this, why are her charms working

Besides me Scharlotte sits cooly observing although her fatigue is clearly shown on her face. I give her a comforting pat on the back. She has been nothing but stalwart as my companion in soberness in the sea of chaos that is our band of ruffians. A paragon of discipline and stoicity, every breath, every little twitch, is controlled, disciplined. Her face as cold and rigid as the mountain peaks of the everest. Although I know that in her heart of hearts I know that she is completely, and utterly disappointed at her long lost sister Theresa. How do I know? A bond forged in shared torment that can bend, but never be broken. For it is one that has already endured the torturous hardship of these damn drunks!

Oh how I wish I can have a nice cup of the finest darjeeling tea right now. Just thinking of it reminds me of the gentle winds of the old manor back at York. Why did I leave on this perilous fool's errand my commanding officer gave me? Ah yes because after joining the army to give these execution happy dastards what for, the realization dawned on me that there is a body of water between England and France and that I may not see combat at all before this mob is dealt with! And so after a bit of pestering my commanding officer gave me the order to..infiltrate France and start a spy network, the paltry amount of funding along with the ambiguous instructions made it clear that they simply wanted me to be rid of me.

And thus after a few hours of wandering around at...the sign said it was Avignon. I decided to rest at a tavern, spotting a gaggle of fellow tall women I joined them and heard their drunken stories although not partaking in the alcohol myself. Theresa and Scharlotte are half-sisters born from the same noble father although Scharlotte herself is a bastard child left in Prussia while Theresa was raised right in the theaters of Vienna. Theresa seems to be left here for misbehaviour while Scharlotte was..abandoned by her comrades although she seems oddly calm about it. Teresa...I honestly can not remember how the girl stumbled her way here but she mentioned that she is also a member of the military? Something of a liaison officer it seems.

And then there is Katarina if we are tall than she is simply gigantic literally standing head and shoulders above us. And honestly the russian giantess is the most enigmatic of our bunch not saying much other than her name. At least I thought she were until she rushed out of the bar. I know not what spell overcame her but she started to rush about in pursuit of...something until she literally crashed through the doors of some chapel, us in tow. Now one might wonder why I, or even the rest of us followed her, why not simply stay at the tavern or run away? Well, I know not how she did it but..she has acquired my funds, along with all of our wallets

And now here we are crashing some poor couple's wedding, speaking of the couple. Those two simply look lovely together, the bride is a fellow tall woman with a simple dress accentuating her features, the bouquet in her hands still held in abject shock. The groom a man a bit shorter than his fiance but nevertheless still quite tall. His stoic and quite handsome face appears to be on the verge of shifting into a snarl of anger or bursting into tears. And he is wearing such a fine silken suit as well, I truly do feel pity for the both of them, this must be a day held with anticipation in their hearts, a day to be remembered as their love are made manifest in the vows and rings exchanged today.

And we ruined it like rats raiding a granary. Sighing in deep, deep mental fatigue I contemplate on simply running away, funds be damned. But no, in some way I am responsible for this as well and I must make amends, after all they cannot possibly be part of the French Army with a following this little no? I approach them with the intent to apologize and introduced myself. "My name is Christine, on the behalf of my companions I sincerely apologize...
 
Jean-Philippe Laurens Character Sheet (CGTM2002)
Alright, let's see if I can write a version of Jean-Philippe Laurens' abilities.

Name: Jean-Philippe Laurens
Gender:
Male
Titles: Marshal of France
Age: 36
Opinion of You: A beautiful woman, shame I did not court her, yet she is a fellow marshal and the emperor's love, so I must respect her.
Nicknames: L'epee de l'empereur
Honors and Decorations: Medal of the Legion of Honor.
Beliefs: Bonapartist

Republican Sentiments: 0 The revolutionaries killed his father and his king, yet he refuses to fight his people.
Monarchist Sentiments: +19 Raised to be loyal to a king, he is instead now loyal to something much greater
Allies: Louis-Nicolas Davout, Thomas-Alexander Dumas, Louis-Alexandre Berthier, Jean-Baptiste Bessieres, Jean Lannes
Enemies: No Notable Enemies.

Commands: The VII Corps
Public Reputation: (Rank 15) A marshal of France, a hero of Egypt and the sword of Napoleon himself, France knows you and celebrates.
Past Offices held: Commandant, Chief of Staff, General of the Cavalry of the French Expeditionary Force in Egypt

Battles Fought: The Battle of Saorgio, The Battle Under The Pyramids, The Battle of Castiglione, The Battle of Tarvis, the First Italian Campaign, the Egyptian Expedition
Battles Commanded: None
Battles Won: All of them
Battles Lost: None (Yet)
Campaigns Led: None

Stats
Military:
15 [+5]
The sword of the emperor is a master of war matched only by a select few.
Charisma: 11 [+1]
A certain amount of charisma is a requirement for Lauren's various "escapades"
Decorum: 10 [+0]
Raised to serve and always admiring the knights of old, Lauren's can hold himself well in royal courts.
Stewardship: 11 [+1]
He, quite oddly for a soldier's son, has a surprising competency with finance.
Intelligence: 7 (-6)
You were never the most intelligent boy, more interested in soldiering and playing knight than studying.
Education: 9 [-2]
He studied in a prestigious military academy in France, yet the revolution unfortunately interrupted his learnings.
Subterfuge: 3 [-14]
He grew up believing in honor and chivalry, lies are an antithesis to this modern knight.
Wealth: 12
A competency with money and a high paying occupation like Marshal of France leaves money as the least of Lauren's worries.

Skills
Combat:
8 [-4]
He is a soldier since birth, yet the rigors of command prevent him from sharpening his combat abilities.
Oratory: 7 [-6]
The military college truthfully did not discuss oratory all that much.
Command: 18 [+12]
From the shades of olive trees to the sands of deserts, Laurens has a history of command matched by few in history
Cavalry Command: 15 [+6]
Under the command of Laurens, the French cavalry broke the last Mamluk charge, in an action that would award Laurens with the Legion of Honor.
Infantry Command: 9 [-2]
His father and the academy taught him much about commanding men, yet it is the cavalry where Lauren's is truly called towards.
Artillery Command: 9 [-2]
Years of training in the academy, plus his father's instruction taught him about artillery, yet he never really excelled at it.
Grand Strategy: 10 [0]
Napoleon trusts his sword to understand his strategies and to act accordingly.
Engineering: 9 [-2]
Again taught in his youth, he knows of it yet is not a master of it.
Logistics: 18 [+12]
His emperor once told him, "An army marches on its stomach.", Laurens, more than any other man, has taken this advice to heart and few understand it better than him.
Manual Labor: 3 [-14]
He is a soft man despite his origins and because of his personality.
Law: 5 [-10]
Has vague memories of lectures about French law in the academy, yet even then he wasn't really paying attention.
Administration: 8 [-4]
Truthfully, you were more interested in laying with women and living a life away from your father's influence that administration never truly came into focus.

OOC: In this, I'm imagining that from his backstory plus his general attitude, that Lauren's was a huge fan of knights when he was young and consciously emulated them throughout his life, hell I have this thought that he requested Napoleon to make him a "Knight of the Empire" so as to fulfill a boyhood fantasy of his.
 
Last edited:
The future Marshals of France (CGTM2002)
Oh, let me try to write an omake of some of the future Marshals of France interacting with each other.

The future Marshals of France

"Massena, do please remember to act properly, we're meeting people we have to work with for the conceivable future."

"I do not understand why I am listening to you about this, if I remember correctly, you are under my command, not the other way around."

Jean-Philippe Laurens just pinched the bridge of his nose at his commanding officer's response, while he had an excellent military mind, his sense of decorum left much to be desired.

It has been nearly an entire month since young Laurens had been assigned to Massena's battalion, and it was proving to be an interesting time. He had quickly made friends with his commanding officer, with Lauren's having great respect for Massena's military capabilities while Massena had grown to consider Lauren's as his most competent subordinate, enough to consult with him on matters surrounding the situation in Italy and their eventual deployment, but he seemingly does not listen to Lauren's suggestion about meeting their fellow Frenchmen.

"Just please Massena, try and act proper, I've seen your manners before and they are not something to be proud of."

Andre Massena narrowed his eyes at Lauren's remark, "Careful Laurens, careful, I like you, but that sounds like disrespect, I can have you kicked out of the army anytime I wish."

Laurens just rolled his eyes at Massena's bluff, "Oh please, if I may be honest with you, you wouldn't dare try that, I'm the most competent officer you have, and our country is in desperate need of competent officers."

"I could if I want to."

"But you won't."

Massena finally gave in to his subordinate's insist on decorum, "Fine, fine, Laurens I'll try and be more presentable, you fucking dandy."

Laurens decided to ignore being called a dandy and just silently celebrated managing to convince his stubborn friend.

It was the next day, and Massena, alongside Laurens of course, was about to meet their fellow comrades for the campaign in Italy

"Now remember what I taught you Massena, don't try and comment about their appearance, don't stare, don't make jokes at their expense, just shake their hand and introduce yourself."

Massena was starting to get well and truly annoyed at Laurens' reminders, "Yes, yes, I've heard you the first hundred times, with that attitude, I'm surprised you're not court royalty."

"Soldier from the Womb sire, I've no trace of noble blood in me."

"Good on that, you would have lost your head if you did."

After that remark, they decided to meet their fellow Frenchmen in arms, they walked towards where they were said to be, and were greeted by a young woman in a fine uniform alongside a young man with a balding head currently reading a map.

The woman introduced herself first, she gave a curtsy and said, "Hello there, my name is Therese Auclair."

Ah, the famous Hero of Valmy, Mainz, and the reincarnation of Joan of Arc if you believe the more outlandish rumors, she was certainly a fine woman, but she was a Hero of France, and must be treated with due respect, she was not the kind of women that frequented Laurens' bed.

Massena whispered to Laurens, "Careful not to bed this one Laurens, as you said, show decorum and respect, that applies to you, try not to sleep with her."

Laurens just rolled his eyes at that and decided to introduce themselves, he gave a bow and said, "Hello, I've heard a lot about you, but none of that for know, I'm Commandant Jean-Philippe Laurens and this is my commanding officer, Andre Massena."

Laurens was also curious about the balding young man next to Therese, and asked, "If I may be so bold, may I ask who your friend is?"

Davout just looked up from his map, looked at him, said, "Davout, Louis-Nicolas Davout." and immediately went back to what he was doing before

Laurens just thought to himself, "Hmph, not a very respectful one, is he? With his manners and way of dress, he is certainly no noble, that's for sure."

After the introductions, they went over the soon to be campaign in Italy, and unbeknownst to them at the time, campaigns across Europe that would catapult them all to legend.

OOC: I'll give a like to anyone who figures out the ironic joke I put in here.
Edit: Feeling bored, let's see how good of a singer Laurens is.
Edit 2: And he's fucking Freddie Mercury, must be how he got all the girls, they swooned everytime he sang to them.
SzechuanSauce threw 1 100-faced dice. Reason: Laurens' singing ability. Total: 94
94 94
SzechuanSauce threw 12 20-faced dice. Total: 129
9 9 15 15 20 20 6 6 6 6 11 11 14 14 2 2 20 20 16 16 3 3 7 7
 
Last edited:
A Manor of Grape Importance (Astra Myst)
More shit brought to you by me
As you can see I kinda got lazy towards the end
@Plausitivity


The soft warm rays of the sun gently enters through the windows of a manor on the french countryside to find its way towards-

"AAACHOOO"

-A man currently having the misfortune of illness set upon him. He simply looked terrible, his face a sickly shade of red and his shivering can be heard all throughout the manor. Yet he is still struggling to rise from his bed towards his desk-

"Non, couche toi"

"But, Therese, ma cheri-"

But his wife is neither listening nor will she listen to the concerns of the man who brought France towards a new golden age of triumph against her enemies, a man unparalleled on the battlefield and redefined the rules of war itself, A truly great man whose name will lie in time immemorial. Because for Therese Auclair she only sees her dearest husband in need of her presence by his side and some god damned rest.

Sighing to herself, she reexamined her memory if her dearest is still in need of anything. The sheets have been changed, and so have the towel on his head. There doesn't seem to be anything else that he needs, and then a realization hits her.

"Would you like a massage, or perhaps another glass of water ma cher?"

"Non, but perhaps some grapes would relieve me somewhat, Ma cherie" The sickly tone of his reply made her worries deepen

Nodding she left the room for the pantry to acquire some and hoped that he wouldn't do anything rash while she was gone. She shook her head thinking of her husband's workaholic tendencies, even though this was supposed to be their honeymoon he still wishes to return to his duties as Emperor. And because of that after too late nights spent on that damn desk he fell ill. Although she could see why he would be so concerned for the republic she can't help but feel that he should trust in his own reforms and the bureaucrats he himself chose in Paris.

On her way returning to their room when she is just outside the door she heard the sound of something hitting the floor with a thud. Needless to say she rushed her way in only to find her dearest lying on the red carpeted floor near the desk holding something in his hands. She hurried her way to his side fearing for the worst. His breathing is still stable and his eyes are still open and at the sight of his wife he weakly grasped his wife's hand to give her a piece of paper.

She cared not for it as she aided her husband back to his bed and helped him get into the sheets once again. The tears in her eyes are prominent as she watched her husband's sickly face. She is afraid, afraid that her husband who which she has just married after all the battles and hardships they went through together, for him to simply perish from a damn fever, at a time like this.

The mere thought is simply agonizing.

All of a sudden a fit of coughs can be heard from her husband as Therese returned to reality and listened intently for the words he would speak.

"The...paper"

After a short amount of time spent in confusion she realized what he meant and unfolded the piece of paper in her hand.

To reveal a...sketch. While she never thought of Napoleon as much of an artist before the sketch in her hands is making her reconsider. It depicted...her peacefully sleeping while seated near their bed, every detail is exquisite, seemingly lifelike even and even the shading is sublimely done.

"But...I never even posed for a portrait before"

"You didn't need to, your beautiful face is one I could never forget" he said in between his coughs

She reasoned that he is saying this because of his illness, her husband would never say something like this under normal circumstances right?

The scarlet tint of her cheeks made his lips form a soft smile. Seeing it brought her a measure of happiness in turn. Her previous expression of worry gave way to a smile

"Do I get a reward? Perhaps some grapes?"

She quickly went for the plate of grapes she placed on the table in her state of worry and returned to his side.

Seeing it he simply opened his mouth like a juvenile bird expecting food from its mother
She gave him a look of disbelief at how he's acting

He cared not for it and continues to open his mouth.

Sighing to herself she plucked out one of the grapes and begins to feed her husband. He ate them all happily and smiled to himself after finishing them all.

"Why the smile?"

"Just thinking on how lucky I am to have you"

Her cheeks blossom once more and he gave him a loving smile.

"Je t'aime ma cher"

"Je t'aime ma chérie"
 
My Rather Weird Frozen Fanfiction (SzechuanSauce)
Oh, thank God, someone posted already, that means I can give you a glimpse into my ElsaxBrian fanfiction

My Rather Weird Frozen Fanfiction

Brian stared at the love of his life, in nothing more than a pair of simple pants, showing off the muscular body honed by years of war, and could not, even for a second, turn away from those blue eyes which he has grown to cherish.

Elsa stared right back at him, wearing a thin nighty of transparent white, giving a glimpse of her slim and pale body, a body that Brian has gotten to know very intimately.

They were at the palace in Arendelle, inside their bedrooms in the dead of night, with nothing but the shine of the moon and the twinkle of the stars illuminating the skies.

Elsa finally said to Brian, with tears in her eyes, "Brian please, you don't have to do this."

Brian, after what seemed like an eternity staring into her eyes, spoke up, "No, my love, I'm sorry, but I have to do this" He shook his head at what he must do, "It is my duty."

Elsa, hearing Brian's words, stood up from their bed, and yelled at him in tears, "Your duty?! Your duty to what?! What of your duty to me? What about your duty to our children."

Yes, their children, their beloved children, young Agnarr, named in honor of Elsa's father, heir to the throne and little Pauline, a spark of joy that could light up a room, a little sparkle of joy just like Anna.

Brian stood up, hurt and angered that the love of his life would even dare think that he did not have their beloved children in mind, "Do you that my thoughts are never on them? That I am never constantly thinking about how they are some of the most important things to me, how I long to be with them and watch them grow into adulthood."

Elsa then tearfully asks, with her hands in her chest, "Then why do you persist in re-entering the battlefield? Do you not know how much I dread thinking that our children will never see their father again."

Brian, feeling the warm tears appearing in his chocolate brown eyes, grabbed Elsa by the shoulders and held her close, feeling her head close to his chest, and told her, "It is like I said, it is my duty, my duty to my people, my duty to protect all that was gained in the revolution.,"

Then he looked at Elsa, never seeing a more beautiful face, said to her, "Most importantly, it is my duty to protect you, and our children, to protect them from the forces that hate and conspire against them."

Elsa, released from his loving grasp, finally seemed to understand, and with resolution and firmness in her voice, said to the person she cherishes the most, "I understand it is your duty, your duty to all you hold dear, but first." She suddenly removed her nighty, her beautiful body fully exposed to Brian, while reaching for Brian's pants, "Do your duty to me, make love to me, so that I will always know of your love."

Brian obliged, and they made love once more, perhaps it was for the last time, perhaps not, all they know at the moment is each other, and how much they want each other.
 
After-Battle Contemplation (SzechuanSauce)
I've been meaning to write this, featuring an appearance from L'epee de l'empereur himself, Jean-Philippe Laurens, and serving as an account of a battle against Prince Hans.

After-Battle Contemplation

Truthfully, Brian would say humbly, that he had not that much of a direct role in the perfect battle against Prince Hans, he merely directed and kept the troops well-fed, Laurens was the man who led them, who encircled the enemy and captured the enemy commander, yet he deserves more credit for the victory than he admits.

Laurens would protest the idea himself, yes he was the one who commanded the cavalry that would encircle the enemy forces, but it was Brian himself who came up with the plot, he may have been the one responsible for making sure the plan came to fruition, but there would never have been a plan without Brian. It was Brian who kept the men fed and quick on the march, and Laurens, more than anyone else, knows the importance of keeping the army fast and well-fed, how do you think it would be possible to encircle the enemy in such a beautiful fashion?

Brian would say, with characteristic humbleness, that his plan was nothing special, it was just a simple encirclement maneuver, a tactic that has existed since the dawn of warfare. Laurens would then chide him in making it seem more simple than it truly was, yes an encirclement was a very simple tactic, but the trick in it was in the execution, the small details of the plan. Who knows what could happen in the middle of your encirclement? The enemy scout could notice you and position men on the flanks or rear to prevent it. You might find yourself encircled by the enemy if you did not make sure their were no reinforcements while you were trying to do the same. Your men might be too weak to truly encircle and defeat them, yet Brian's plan had a provision for that, he made sure the enemy had no scouts fast enough to notice, he made sure their were no reserves to prevent them being surrounded. Simply put, without Brian, Laurens would have been without this glorious victory.

Nevertheless on who was truly responsible for the triumph, it was a triumph by all accounts. It was a military triumph, Lauren's army entered the battle with the enemy in a parity of numbers, he left the battlefield with less than a thousand men lost and more than 10,000 captives, including the Prince of the Southern Isles, Hans himself. It was a diplomatic triumph, this victory all but assures that Arendelle will ally with France in their titanic struggle. Perhaps most of all, at least for Laurens himself, it was a personal triumph, this was his finest moment, to so completely shatter the enemy, to have such a great victory under his belt, nothing else filled him with more pride. To Brian, he also found great joy in it, but for more personal reasons than Laurens did. It was a feeling of joy in revenge, Prince Hans had hurt someone near and dear to Brian, and seeing him as a captive, his hands tied behind him as nothing more than one out of countless captives brought him much much satisfaction.

Laurens, right now was in his command tent, contemplating a good gift for Brian's excellence in the battlefield. Suddenly, he was struck with inspiration and he realizes what to give, what would be a great reward for his actions. Ever since he and Brian was sent to Arendelle, to convince them to ally with France, or at the very least trade with them since almost no one wanted to. He had noticed his friend was getting quite close to the queen, Elsa, the snow queen herself, and he would notice them sneaking glances at each other, both of them disappearing in both the same time, he had noticed they seemed to have have fallen in love with each other. This was something that made him quite happy, seeing as the only woman that his friend was close to was his sister, and that was of a completely different type of love than the one that was brewing with Queen Elsa of Arendelle.

Now, Laurens was pending a letter to his emperor, if you could read it, you would find some rather interesting parts to it, one of the most interesting of all was, "He has performed excellently in this, without him this great victory would not have been possible, and I have noticed that he has gotten quite close to the Queen. I have a proposition that would benefit all of us, France, me, you, and Brian himself."

OOC: This was inspired by @Magoose and his suggestion of how to fit in the Frozen universe into the story, I also twisted a few dynamics in the story, right now, Laurens is older than Brian instead of the other way around, he's currently in his 30s serving as a Marshal of the Empire, and Brian is basically Lauren's number 2, the person he trusts to do his duty and do it well, would be around 25.
I hope you guys won't mind me lowering Brian's age, Elsa would have been 21 during the beginning of the film, and Brian would have been in his 40s during this time, the age gap is a bit too creepy for me.
 
Last edited:
That, Macdonald, is a Talking Snowman (SzechuanSauce)
Alright, time to write one more Frozen fanfiction, let's see how it goes.

That, Macdonald, is a Talking Snowman

"JAYSUS FOOKIN CHRIST, WHAT THE BLOODY 'ELL IS THAT THING!!!"

Laurens winced at his friend's loud reaction to the little thing in front of him, three stacks of snow put together with twigs at the top of his head, rocks on the middle of his body, a carrot that's supposed to be his nose, and little sticks at his sides to represent arms. He had gotten used to the snowman since being posted to Arendelle, after getting over his initial shock of course, but men that were recently posted to Arendelle didn't seem to know about what makes it different. A good case being when the little snowman waddled over to MacDonald and said, "Hi, I'm Olaf, and I like warm hugs." while keeping his little stick arms open, expecting a big old hug from him, all the while MacDonald had an expression of fear and shock at seeing it.

"That, MacDonald, is a talking snowman."

"I bloody well know that its a fookin talking snowman, what I'm askin is, you fucking dandy, how in all that is holy is that aksually possible?"

Laurens just pinched the bridge of his nose at his friend, they were in the royal castle of Arendelle, and Macdonald's screaming causes quite a ruckus, "Macdonald, didn't you read the report about this place?"

"Ay, I read the damned report, thought it was just the messenger boy trying to act clever, I gave him a proper clonk to the head for that, didn't really think he wasn't actually tryin to fook with me."

Laurens just sighed at his reaction and turned to Olaf, he had actually become quite fond of the little creature, enjoying his limitless energy and innocence, and felt a little bad that his friend, Jacques MacDonald has such a bad reaction to him. Quickly kneeling down to his size, he gave Olaf a quick, warm hug, just like the first time they met, and said to him, "Olaf, can you wait in another room, I'll be explaining to my friend here everything."

Olaf just said, with a cheerful tone in his voice, "Sure Jean, I'll be going now, see ya." and before he could waddle away someplace else, Laurens whispered to him, "I'll get him to give you that warm hug when we're done talking to each other." Olaf gave a happy gasp at that and excitedly left the room.

He then got up from his kneeling position, and turned back to MacDonald, who had his arms crossed and an expression on his face that said, "Well, you little choirboy dandy, give me that explanation before I bash the explanation outta ya and use your head for me bagpipes."

Laurens then took a breath and tried to give as best an explanation as he could, from the queen, the way to the magical proponents of Arendelle, and everything else, He actually quite enjoyed a few of MacDonald's reaction to what happened, some of his best reactions were, "Trolls are real? And they're fookin shaped like a bunch a rocks?" "Bloody 'ell man, this place has got an actual ice palace somewhere? Why didn't the messenger boy mention that? I would've clonked him less hard if he put that in the report" and "Prince Hans, eh? Ain't he the poor bastard you gave a giant whoopin to awhile ago?" The last one was his favorite, he always liked hearing about his greatest accomplishment, and hearing about it won't get old anytime soon.

When he was done explaining all the past events and magical things that happened in Arendelle, he had a few more things to say, "You know about the queen right? You know about the queen and her relationship with a certain someone?"

MacDonald just gave a grin at that, "Oh, aye, I know about the lad's relationship with that bonnie lass. She's a real beaut, big bastard's lucky to have her, question is, how'd they end up together? A queen and a surveyor ain't awfy normal couples."

Laurens just waved his hand at the last part, "I'll explain that to you later, but what's important right now is that the surveyor and queen are gonna get married."

Macdonald's grin got even bigger at that, "Aye, I hear ya, its a real story to tell, the peasant from France marrying the Queen of Arendelle, like a fookin Charles Perrault fairytale it is."

Laurens didn't know who Charles Perrault is, or that many fairytales since his father was too preoccupied teaching him how to be a soldier, but he feels like MacDonald got the point, he then patted him on the shoulder, and said, "I think you got it, now, if you find that little snowman again, be sure to give him a hug, I promised him you'd give him a hug when we're done talking."
 
MacDonald's Advice (SzechuanSauce)
Alright, I'll try and see if I can make a Scot give good love advice.

MacDonald's Advice

"What's the matta with ya lad? Ya look like someone just killed ya mum."

Brian was snapped out of his thoughts by the rough voice from in front of him. He moved his head upwards and saw the old general, Jacques MacDonald, standing right in front of him with a questioning look on his face.

It has been a year since the events in Arendelle, a year since Brian had met Elsa and fallen for her, and a year since it was announced that the two were to be wedded. Its been a year since then and Brian had been feeling nervous and unsure the entire time since then, not feeling if he, a peasant from the French provinces, was worthy to marry into royalty. Right now, they were currently sailing to Arendelle for his wedding, and Brian was brooding over it on the side of the ship until MacDonald had interrupted him.

He still had the questioning look on his face, wondering why the soon to be king looked so solemn, "Ay lad, ya worried the damned English are gonna come outta nowhere and blow a hole into the ship? Well don't, ever since their last dandy scheme with that jobby Hans, they've been under a fookin microscope by every ottha nation that's worth a damn, they pull shayt like that and no one's ever gonna trust them sassenaches ever again."

Brian merely shook his head at that, that thought not even entering his head since he boarded the ship, true, those damned Englishmen were the cause of all of last year's events, but his thoughts weren't on them, it was on something else.

MacDonald then just placed a hand on Brian's shoulder, and gripped it, as a means of comfort, though he had to lift his arms a bit since Brian was an unusually tall man, towering over most of the common soldiery and officers in France.

MacDonald just looked at him while he gripped his shoulder, and said, "Aight then laddie, what's the damn problem? Ya look like ya planning to jump overboard and swim back to France."

Brian just gave a chuckle at that, and, seeing as he needs to tell someone about his worries, told the general everything he was worried about.

MacDonald stood there, listening to Brian's worries about the marriage, about his fear he wasn't worthy to be with her, and when he was done spilling every fear he had, MacDonald just chuckled, reached up a hand of his, and smacked the big bastard over the head.

Brian held the back of his head from the impact of MacDonald of hitting it, he winced and looked at the general for why he hit him.

MacDonald know had a serious expression on his face, and said, "Lad, for a brainiac that always has his nose inside a book, ya can be a real fookin idiot."

He then suddenly grabbed Brian by both arms, gripped them tightly and said, "Boy, I need ya to do what ya best at, and think! Think, why did she choose to marry you?"

Brian, though a bit in pain from MacDonald's tight grip, was able to squeak out, "Because, its her duty to her people."

MacDonald didn't light up his grip on Brian's shoulders, he just looked at him and said, "No, ya damned, blithering bimpot! More than her fookin duty, its because she loves you!"

Brian didn't really know what to say, both from the pain of MacDonald's tight grip and shock at his words, while he was still contemplating his words, MacDonald continued his little speech.

"I asked ya ta think about it, so fookin think about it! She coulda married people of much higher standing than you, she coulda gotten a duke, a prince, she coulda married anyone she wanted, but she chose to marry you, now again, why is that?"

Brian just lowered his head, still quite shocked at his words, and said, "Because, she loves me?" The words came out as more of a question than a statement.

MacDonald, seeing he seemed to be getting his point, nodded his head and continued, "Ay, she does, she loves you more than she'd ever love any of those doaty gits, and never forget that, she loves you and she chose you."

He let go of Brian and waited to see his reaction, Brian seemed quite dazed over it, but after a few short moments, got his senses back and said, "Thank you, general, thank you, your words helped me out on this."

He just nodded his head at this and turned to the side of the ship, leaning over it while Arendelle came into view, "Not ta worry, lad, not ta worry, now, ya know about the rumors around this place? Said that the queen has fookin ice powers and all that shayt? When the idiot messenga boy told me that, I gave him a clonk to the head for talking about it! I don't need ta know about some idiot rumors!"

Brian just gave a chuckle at MacDonald, while he was grateful for his advice, he couldn't wait to see MacDonald's reaction when he finds out that those rumors aren't rumors, they're very much true, but enough of that, he has a wedding to attend, and a bride to marry.
 
Last edited:
Back
Top