In Nuclear Fire
- Thread starter Poliamida
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Poliamida
(Verified Heavy Molecule)
- Location
- Beyond the Stars
Thanks for the correction.
That sounds a bit extreme to me. Different cultures I guess.
Handling the drawing was a (poorly) calculated risk to make it look like he was just a muggle artist and nothing else. Right now the school and the PRT don't really know what to make of him.
- Location
- US
I love this story. It's so refreshing compared to the usual SI fic. Can't wait to see more reckless adventures.
Poliamida
(Verified Heavy Molecule)
- Location
- Beyond the Stars
Peter will be building only the Mecha Zergs because he finds the bio-versions gross. The Mecha-zergs are easier to control by default, something that will be a problem once enemy tinkers become a thing, but are also far safer than the bio ones.
That fire was clearly inevitable with all the problems that building had.
I am interested in the server, what you depate there about the powers, which fictional world to choose from e.c.t. please send me invite on pm if it isn't private server where only writers are invited
- Location
- Germany
I feel like you're giving the MC an idiot ball for no reason. Attacking Arcadia is unbelievably stupid. Why not attack the PRT building or the Protectorate Rig?
More realistically, electronics stores don't care at all about Tinkers. In BB right now there are 4 known Tinkers. Kid Win and Armsmaster are heroes, they would never steal. Squealer builds gigantic cars and doesn't need that kind fine electronics and also has a gang to collect electronics from the Trainyard. Leet is established and probably has tons of stuff already since his equipment always breaks down and parts can be reused. And how much technology would one normal Tinker steal anyways? Probably not a lot. BB also has a much higher concentration of capes than similar cities in the US. Only really big ones like New York and Boston have more. So it makes no sense for electronics stores to have that sort of special security whereas Arcadia is the school where the Wards go. If someone sneaks in to install cameras and outs a Ward that would be a disaster.
And I don't get why the MC won't just shut up in school. He can just ignore everyone there and nobody would notice him. Instead he does the most noticeable thing possible and insults the teachers while showing off knowledge far beyond what anyone his age should know.
Aside from the weird stupid things the MC does it's a nice story. Taylor feels in character and so far the tech isn't out of this world so there's no stomping everyone in the ground.
More realistically, electronics stores don't care at all about Tinkers. In BB right now there are 4 known Tinkers. Kid Win and Armsmaster are heroes, they would never steal. Squealer builds gigantic cars and doesn't need that kind fine electronics and also has a gang to collect electronics from the Trainyard. Leet is established and probably has tons of stuff already since his equipment always breaks down and parts can be reused. And how much technology would one normal Tinker steal anyways? Probably not a lot. BB also has a much higher concentration of capes than similar cities in the US. Only really big ones like New York and Boston have more. So it makes no sense for electronics stores to have that sort of special security whereas Arcadia is the school where the Wards go. If someone sneaks in to install cameras and outs a Ward that would be a disaster.
And I don't get why the MC won't just shut up in school. He can just ignore everyone there and nobody would notice him. Instead he does the most noticeable thing possible and insults the teachers while showing off knowledge far beyond what anyone his age should know.
Aside from the weird stupid things the MC does it's a nice story. Taylor feels in character and so far the tech isn't out of this world so there's no stomping everyone in the ground.
Poliamida
(Verified Heavy Molecule)
- Location
- Beyond the Stars
Yeah, I admit that the part of Arcadia is the weakest one by far. I wanted a specific scene to happen and I ended up pushing it in a way that wasn't natural. I'll make a better job from here on.
The issue with the MC is that he has poor long-term planing, no patience for things that he doesn't want to do, and little to no empathy for people he doesn't know. And he doesn't care about improving because he's in Worm, he doesn't care about the setting enough to save it and is just there to enjoy life to the max with his power before his inevitable demise. Of course that's changing thanks to Taylor who he's warming up to.
I enjoyed the chapters. I look forward to where you decide to take this.
On the forcing plot points issue, I don't know. I'm not much of a writer and I can't think of anything that would really help the story along. I can only write after making an outline. Just a basic thing with bullets on what points you need to hit and why.
Maybe there is something he wants from the science fair? Like the Arcadia robotics team showing off their stuff. That could be great salvage for building a drone.
On the forcing plot points issue, I don't know. I'm not much of a writer and I can't think of anything that would really help the story along. I can only write after making an outline. Just a basic thing with bullets on what points you need to hit and why.
Maybe there is something he wants from the science fair? Like the Arcadia robotics team showing off their stuff. That could be great salvage for building a drone.
- Pronouns
- Masculine
Burning down Winslow... yesssss. Well done! Well done! And huh... Missy clearly suspects the kid tinker. And well, shit is going to get interesting if the PRT track things down. And agreed, any story that convinces Taylor to burn Winslow to the ground is a good story.
- Location
- Germany
I mean maybe I'm a bit too uncharitable with the MC here. Getting stuck in middle school or whatever grade he's in must be hell. But I feel like if he hadn't insulted the teachers and gotten extra attention he could have easily spent his time doing more interesting things there. If he finds a fairly small book on engineering or science then he could have read that and simply said he likes the pictures when asked. Or even just read science fiction novels for inspiration on what to build.
Honestly, this story is already above 95% of all Worm stories that I've found. It's just that for 90% of them I just stop reading after the first chapter (sometimes even paragraph). This story has a lot of potential and your writing is already very good so I'm a bit more invested in it than in those stories.
Edit: Just saw that you're the author of Zero Summing! Heard a lot of good stuff about it but never read it myself since I don't know anything about Family of Zero. Do you think that knowledge of FoZ is required to understand and enjoy the story?
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Poliamida
(Verified Heavy Molecule)
- Location
- Beyond the Stars
Maybe there's a bit of personal preference here but I prefer MCs that are impulsive, hot-headed, amd don't measure the long-term consequences of their actions, and that later have to face those consequences. Because yes, he will have to deal with the repercussions of this later.
Sure! I even wrote it thinking on the people who hadn't read FoZ.
I'm really liking where the story is going.
the fact the SI just happened to have ended up with the heberts is a bit cringey.
going from the amount of love the comments are giving, this story will be really good XD. but i just cant get over that BS. good luck though XD. p.s, that title is very interesting, i cant help but wonder if a boom-boom steak room is in BB's future.
going from the amount of love the comments are giving, this story will be really good XD. but i just cant get over that BS. good luck though XD. p.s, that title is very interesting, i cant help but wonder if a boom-boom steak room is in BB's future.
Actually I was more thinking along the lines that if they built a robot Taylor could mind link with using her powers she could hijack it's computer brain to Thinker/Tinker ala Dragon style.
Personally I like that the MC can make well meaning idiot ball decisions like this, avoids making them seem like a Mary sue and it's honestly enjoyable to see them focus on actually having fun and living a life whether then just obsessing over conflict. And seeing them teach Taylor to enjoy herself and seeing her just hang out outside of cape stuff is pretty cool too, I'm always a sucker for slice of life stuff like that.
Poliamida
(Verified Heavy Molecule)
- Location
- Beyond the Stars
Ah. Well, that would be possible by mixing the mecha drone with a Protoss purifier and then giving Taylor a Khala helmet, but that's way beyond what Peter can do right now in terms of time and resources.
But there are other trees that could allow that.
Poliamida
(Verified Heavy Molecule)
- Location
- Beyond the Stars
The way her power works is that it allows her to control arthropods, or creatures with a particular brain chemistry that her power understands as 'arthropods'. Like earthworms, which aren't arthropods but that she can control all the same. For Zerg I'd need to change the way their brains work to allow Taylor to control them, and at first she wouldn't have any problem doing so, but once they start multiplying... yeah, I don't want to imagine what a battle of wills between QA and the Overmind would look like.
But the ones I'm building are the Mecha Zerg, which don't have biological brains and so her power doesn't recognize as creatures she can control:
- Location
- US
What is with the oddly frequent insistence that fanfics be disconnected from the original cast in the Worm fandom? You never see this kind of comment regarding Harry Potter fanfics for example.
i cant STAND the HP fanfic fandom, specifically for that reason lmao XD. its just my personal taste, but i dont like it when characters are either shoe horned into the MC's side, or stories follow canon religously. its why when it comes to the HP fandom i look for the truly original stories otherwise its just the golden trio+1 BS.
and im not insisting the SI be distanced from taylor, she's one of the more interesting characters in WORM. i love it when characters interact with the original cast, its just there is a difference between an original organic meeting between a SI and the OG CAST, and 'oh the SI just happens to be a relative of the MC and is now gonna live with them, aint that a funny coincidence'. do you get what im trying to say? not sure if im getting my point across as well as i want to. im not trying to bash anyone if thats their kind of preferance, sorry if it came across that way. as long as the OP is having fun and the readers are enjoying it XD
Chapter 9
Poliamida
(Verified Heavy Molecule)
- Location
- Beyond the Stars
In Nuclear Fire 9
I remain silently staring at the TV. The images displayed are those of what used to be Winslow, now reduced to smoking rubble. The place is surrounded by police cars and the firefighter trucks that lie in wait in case the fires start again. From what the reporter's saying the causes of the fire are unknown, but soon the investigations will start.
What they will say, well, remains to be seen.
"This is terrible, how could such a thing have happened?" That comment comes from Danny to my right.
To my left, and using me as a shield against her father, is Taylor doing anything in her power to not look at either of us.
"Most fires are caused by electrical problems." I point out. "That's why there's so many during Christmas."
"Because of the lights, right? Every November we receive flyers about it from the firefighters."
Taylor doesn't participate in our conversation, trying only to become as small as she can. Her distress is plainly clear for everyone to see, but thankfully Danny has no idea about its true cause.
"This must be strange for you, Taylor. I don't know what we're going to do now, but I promise you we'll find a solution."
She still doesn't say anything, only curling deeper into herself
Eventually, he has to leave for work, leaving Taylor and me to enjoy our Saturday.
"He never noticed the bullying, did he?" I ask Taylor.
Slowly she unwinds, and as she does so I can see the marks that her jeans left against her face. "No. I never told him." She shakes her head. "God, I can't believe we actually did this."
"We did something productive, Taylor." I lift a finger. "And remember, we don't talk about that thing that we did."
"I know, I know. It's just that… don't take me wrong, one part of me is happy but the other is terrified."
"That's what changes do to people."
"And what a change this is." She chuckles. "I'm still unsure what's expecting me."
"Freedom, Taylor. Freedom's what expecting you." I proclaim with my hands on my waist. "Now, want me to prepare a celebratory breakfast?"
"I'll help you just in case you decided to set the kitchen on fire next."
"I feel offended by that! I'm not a pyromaniac."
"Maybe, but you're a lot of other stuff."
"That, I agree with."
I bite the toast, drink the milk, and tighten the bolts.
I bite the toast, drink the milk, and weld the wires.
I bite the toast, drink the… my cup is empty.
"Want me to bring you something to drink?"
"Thank you, Taylor. I'd appreciate that."
For the last hour, I have seen my drone slowly coming together. And it's a beautiful sight.
Soon enough Taylor returns with a glass of water. "So, how long until it's ready?"
The internal motors are ready and so is a good chunk of the outer carcass, but I'm just starting with the wiring. "A couple more hours."
"And what will exactly do?"
I do have an extensive list on my head, but I suspect that Taylor will appreciate the abridged version. "It will dig tunnels, repair my stuff, help me build new stuff, and process materials into useful forms."
"I can see why you wanted so badly to build it. It sounds extremely useful."
"I know, right?"
The hours roll on, Danny comes, and we enjoy a quick lunch before I return to my room. This time alone as Taylor is tired and seems to have started trusting me on tinkering maters.
It's about four in the afternoon when it's finally ready. I put it inside a bag and rushed to her room.
"Taylor, Taylor!" I knock at her door being careful not to accidentally open it.
"What?"
"It's ready! Want to come with me to see it's first activation?"
"Sure."
In the living room, we find Danny. The TV is on but seems to be there only to provide background sound, as Danny is currently reading a newspaper.
"Where are you kids going?" He asks without lifting his eyes from the pages.
This time it's Taylor the one who takes the initiative. "Do you know if the mini TV is in the basement?"
Mini… is she talking about the one she pulled from her closet and I turned into her visor? So she can lie! At least to her father. Must be the years of hiding the bullying.
"That old thing? I don't know what happened to it. But I think it was no longer working."
"We just want to make sure." She grabs me by the shoulder and forces me in front of her. "It's for Peter, you know? So he doesn't get bored in his room."
"Sure. Tell me if you need anything."
We march on.
The basement is as much of a mess as the last time I was there, maybe even more so considering that I didn't come back to put the boxes back in their place.
I set the bag on the ground and pull the drone out. Now, a fully grown Zerg Drone is the size of a big quad. This one isn't nearly that big, being the size of a dog, but that only means that I won't need that many resources to turn it into a hatchery and start producing more.
Taylor, though, doesn't look that surprised. "Is that it?"
"Yes! Isn't he cute?" I say scratching underneath his chin. "I think I'll name him George."
"And you complain about my 'Ladybug'?"
"Well, what would you name him?"
She pokes the inside of her cheek with her tongue. "Atlas."
I try to hide my surprise. Wasn't that the name that she gave to his flying giant scarab in canon? "Why Atlas?"
"Because he looks like a gigantic beetle."
"Not… that big, is it? I mean-"
"When was the last time you saw a beetle the size of a bulldog?"
I open my mouth but realize I don't have anything to say to that. "You know what? That's an excellent point." From my backpack, I also pull out our visitors. "I already linked our visors to the drone so we can both control it in case of emergency. Now, are you ready?"
She nods, adjusting hers to her face.
"Okay then." I rub my hands in excitement. "Let's do some magic." I press the button on the back of the drone and it expands into its full size. It has four articulated spikes on each side connected by a membrane that, when unfold, give the appearance of wings. They help with mobility by creating a very weak gravitational field to compensate for the tiny legs it has underneath. And in the front, at each side of the head, he has two claws that can turn from pincers to manipulate stuff, to a variety of tools to build and repair, and finally plasma buzz-saws to cut through the strongest of materials.
I can't contain myself and giggle with excitement seeing the little guy do a test run of his servo motors. Reminds me of a puppy stretching out for the first time.
"Can it fight?" Taylor asks, maybe noticing the saws.
"He can cut through metals, so he can defend himself. But lacks mobility and armor, and I'm most definitely not risking him in battle yet." This one drone is worth his weight in gold and losing him would be a disaster. I must ensure he turns into a hatchery ASAP. "Now, let's' put him to work!"
From my visor I run the program -which I immediately rename - and give him his first orders. The buzz saws start spinning and the little guy aims down, cutting through the concrete of the floor. His work is surprisingly silent, and in just a moment we lose sight of him as he tunnels underneath the house.
I could spend hours just tracking his progress but Taylor interrupts. "He's not going to cause any sinkholes, is he?"
"Fear not! The drone is an expert digger and knows how to reinforce the walls of his tunnels. I also added to his sensors functions similar to those of our visors, so he'll make sure not to damage power, gas, or water lines." I also added a function to map Brockton Bay's underground, scanning, and tunneling around man-made structures. If this works as I expect it to, it will help me locate Coil's bases. I know of the main one underneath downtown, but I remember him having several other small bases spread all over the city.
I switch the display in my visor and I can now see a 3D map of our surroundings, with the drone some meters below. The map is small but with time I hope to let it grow until it has encompassed the entirety of the bay.
Leaving the drone to continue his work, we return to our rooms, telling Danny on our way how disappointed we are for not finding the TV.
The rest of the day passes at a crawling speed. The knowledge that my power is about to change keeps me from making any further plans, and so I just wait for the great event.
Dinner comes and goes, and then with Taylor we move to the Attic to prepare for tonight's patrol. Because despite everything we went through, she still insists on going out.
"I don't know what I'd be doing if I knew something would happen to my power." She wonders out loud while she fills her belt bag with zip ties. They are a fast and easy way to keep normals tied up.
For my part, I'm loading my backpack with bottles of water and snacks. "Maybe freaking out in silence while pretending to be okay?"
She gives me a worried look at that. "Are you really that bad?"
I have to think for a moment about that. Honestly, there are times when I no longer know if I'm being sarcastic or not. "No. Well, I am frustrated because of all the things I won't be building." I so much wanted an Odin! "And yes, I'm a bit scared that my next tree won't be as good." I mean, it's Starcraft! It has AIs, lasers, giant robots and more! And what if the next tree doesn't mesh well with my drone? What if I don't like it or have trouble using it? My power can't be that cruel, right? "But I'll keep going and roll with the punches. At least I won't lose it."
"Yeah." Taylor sits cross-legged and plays with her toes. "Losing it would be horrible. After what happened, my power at least makes me feel like all I went through amounted to something, you know?"
Powers are very cruel compensation for indescribable amounts of pain and suffering. "Would you give your powers back if it meant going back and stopping any of that from happening?"
She takes a moment to reply. "I wouldn't even doubt it if it meant bringing mom back. But in exchange for stopping the trio? I don't know. I really don't."
Could I be able to bring Anette back? I know that the Protoss managed to replicate the memories of Fenix into a robot, but I don't know if I could make that work with a person that has been dead for years.
Maybe a future tree will give me a solution.
"Everyone wants to get powers but no one wants to go through the pain of getting them." I tell her, now waiting for the final minutes until midnight.
"Are all capes the same?"
"From what I know, yes. Some had it better, some had it worse, but they all went through terrible stuff."
She releases a sigh. "That means that the most powerful people on the planet are the most traumatized ones."
"And that's why the world is like it is."
"Shit."
"You said it." I give my backpack a last check and- I suddenly find myself in the ground. I feel dizzy. Everything is spinning uncontrollably around me.
"Peter!" Taylor rushes to my side and helps me sit down. "What's wrong?"
I glance at my visor and confirm that, yes, it's midnight.
"It's happening."
Is this what computers feel like when one deletes a file? Images that a moment ago were so clear in my mind are suddenly gone. It's like waking up from a dream, with the memories of the dream clear at first but slowly dissolving into dust as the eyes get into focus.
And like a torrent new information rushes in replacing the previous one.
Electro-active polymers to replace muscles.
Sub-dermal armor strong enough to stop small-caliber bullets.
Nanobots that can fuse into human biology, enhancing all its properties.
My eyes widen as I realize what tree this one is.
Taylor is still next to me, concern written in her face as she waits for me to respond. "Peter? Are you alright?"
I look at her. My attention falls on her shoulder, her neck, her face. How is that I never noticed before? "Your eyes."
She goes very still, her cheeks flaring red. "What."
"They are horrible." Seriously, look at them! They are ill-shaped, and those glasses leave a bad taste in my mouth. There's so much I could do with them! So many enhancements I could give her! "Can I replace them?"
A groan escapes Taylor's lips as she pinches the bridge of her nose. "No, you can't. And do I assume that you know what your new power is?"
I nod. "I have a lot of blueprints in here." I say, tapping the side of my head. "But if I were to give it a general description, it'd be 'human mechanical augmentation'."
It's Deus Ex.