Nobody expects the S9 inquisition!!!
In Nuclear Fire
- Thread starter Poliamida
- Start date
Nobody expects the S9 inquisition!!!
pingas plight
-Most cunning scientific fuck-up in all of Mobius
no a dead by daylight survivor
The joke dates from the early 1980's and there's an illustration in the Dungeon Master's Guide from then about "Papers and Paychecks", which is what the name should be.
Let's face it, most of our lives are interesting enough to have stories written about them.
Now that wack-job cheeto-man with a literal golden idol perverting a party claiming to be Christian to the point they worship said idol, that is some Fanfiction shit right there. Even better, let's make sure he get nuclear codes at some point.
Or that heart of gold computer program who turns around and tries to wipe out disease
Or that Ex-Spy that take over his country through the democratic process then rides around on bears with his shirt off while imprisoning and assassinating opposition with poison.
The Truth Hurts
WhoAmEye
Bunker-Dwelling Cryptid
- Location
- Vault Birb
- Pronouns
- She/Her
The Truth Hurts
Has read several thousand words, possibly hundreds of thousands of words.
Great. She really needed to stop thinking about this. Eleven year old kid that wasn't - how would the law even see that? An adult in the body of a child -
Most common premise revolves around power.
Well, fucking duh, it was difficult to be interested in someone when you knew just how far they'd go to do some - really, really gross things. Foot massages? She could see the appeal. Sucking her toes while calling her mommy? No. Thank you. Come to think of it, to be honest, she wasn't even sure if she liked people to begin with. They were fun to mess with and all, but... emotional vulnerability? Hmmm.... nah. She'd rather not -
Most common premise involves power being disabled.
That was ultimately unhelpful as she didn't see the appeal of people. Or of people's bodies. Hell, her own was more of a hassle than anything even when she bothered trying to look good instead of just going through the motions.
Most common premise involved his sister.
Okay, hold the phone. He was from a place where this world was fiction - still... difficult, to wrap her head around it, but okay, assuming he was correct and not just so good at bullshitting he could bluescreen her power -
You don't want to admit he's right because you fear what will happen if he is.
Putting a lid on that now. Right. Where was she? His sister. The 'girl that controlled bugs that saved the world and lost herself along the way'. The protagonist. A, by all rights, incredibly suicidal one. Someone she'd connected with, and perverts from this corner of the... the multiverse? What did you call it when it was one layer up? He wasn't from Aleph, that much was clear (even if he seemingly stole a lot of their pop culture in his work) - anyways, people from Bet had vivid enough imaginations and little enough self-preservation skills to post shipfic of real capes.
... she... she really wasn't going to do this, was she?
Lisa sighed and pulled open her laptop. She had no idea how many tropes her story would play with, but maybe if she refreshed herself on the fiction of amateur writers (because if someone had made up this world, even in a monkeys-with-typewriters scenario, they had to have one hell of a boner for suffering) she'd get some hints on how to proceed.
----
There was a knock at the hideout door, which I answered with no small amount of confusion. The system should have warned me about - "Oh. Tattletale."
She looked... haunted, for lack of a better term. Not the kind of haunted that came with knowing the world was ending in a half-dozen years either - something... worse. Before I could open my mouth, I had a rare moment of clarity, and asked myself 'what would Taylor say or do if she didn't hate her?'.
"You... okay?"
Nailed it.
"I have seen things." She looked up, eyes rising to meet mine but avoiding direct contact, not straightening from her honestly disturbingly low slouch. "Things that cannot be unseen."
"... okay."
"I also figured out your speciality." She returned to gazing at my knees, the shadows accentuating the bags under her eyes. "A world. Of fiction." She began to laugh the laugh of a broken woman. "If you ever get brain-bleach, or amnestics, I -" she swayed as her eyes closed, one hand raised. "I..." several blinks and she focused on me again. "... I demand. Something. First..."
"You look like you need sleep."
All Lisa did was nod, and close her eyes, proceeding to fall forward on top of me.
I heard Taylor's voice from somewhere behind me - "What's going on out there?" - and began to panic.
----
did i take my meds this morning? i cant tell, this omake got away from me somewhere in the middle and i couldnt find the rails again
- Pronouns
- He/Him
This is like a fucking Top-Tier Omake mate! Hahahaha! Great job writing it from Tattletale's perspective!
Raiseth
I Find Your Lack of Memes Disturbing
- Location
- Russia
The most accepted denomination is "one step up the ontological metanarrative"
...
No, I didn't want to comment on anything else, why do you ask?
Poliamida
(Verified Heavy Molecule)
- Location
- Beyond the Stars
Ah, that was fascinating to read.
Threadmarked!
Poliamida
(Verified Heavy Molecule)
- Location
- Beyond the Stars
SV has very strict rules about sexual content, so you wont find that here, but if you search on QuestionableQuesting, FF dot net, or AO3 you will finde those in spades.
I mainly read fanfic on Fanfic . Net. I just never read any Worm fanfic with sexual content. I read a lot of other ones that have sexual content, but at most it is just implied in the Worm fanfic I have read.
I haven't avoided them on purpose or anything. It's just that the ones I was interested in didn't have any sexual content.
So if I was in Peter's shoes, I can confidently say None. Then grin real wide and her power will inform her that there are a LOT of them out there even if I didn't read them, and that she is in a lot of them.
On and I would ask all innocently "BTW I haven't checked, but is 2 girls one cup a thing in earth Bet?". Her reaction to it would be priceless.
=========================
To those who don't know what 2 girls 1 cup is, you can look it up, just make sure you are not eating and have no children around you. And you are 18+ years old.
WhoAmEye
Bunker-Dwelling Cryptid
- Location
- Vault Birb
- Pronouns
- She/Her
You would be surprised and likely disappointed! The rules aren't super clear on what's okay and what's not beyond 'no underage' - like, as long as it has *some* form of relevance to the plot, almost anything goes?
As virtually every major character in Worm is underage, this is a functional ban (rightly or wrongly) on Worm NSFW. It's a distinction without a difference.
TheEmpOfMankind
THE GREAT MANPEROR
- Location
- Golden Toilet On Terra
- Pronouns
- He/Him/His
My reaction to Tattletales question: If it exists, there's porn of it.
JUMPS OUT WINDOW
JUMPS OUT WINDOW
- Location
- Rotting in port
Does it need to be a secure channel, if MP even has one? He could even PM on PHO and it wouldn't matter if Dragon caught wind of it so long as he framed it as having received an anonymous tip.
He's got an armoured skull? Shoot the bastard with an anti-matériel rifle, even if it doesn't go in the blow's energy will liquefy the contents. Alas, shoot him with a HEIAP round just in case the projectile's kinetic energy isn't enough, to ensure that his grey matter gets well scrambled and cooked on top.
What, even that wouldn't be enough? How about an RPG with a HEAT or a thermobaric warhead, or a freaking tinkertech warhead of his own making, or any exotic weapon that Peter's tech might supply, or even a good old fashion mad scientist's death ray or disintegrator gun from Toybox?
There is absolutely no good reason why Jack Slash never got his due, his so-called immunity is pure author fiat disguised as a Cauldron plot.
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Vaolor
The Artificer
There is only so much armor you could hide under human skin so even if Jack has a layer of sub-dermal armor or even more armor mesh covering his organs that armor would still be thin and likely only protect against blunt force trauma and pistol rounds at the most so it really shouldn't be able to protect him from a 50. cal or missiles or rockets or heck even use a 20mm or 30mm autocannon and turn Jack Slash into a chunky Jack Salsa.
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Raiseth
I Find Your Lack of Memes Disturbing
- Location
- Russia
Worse, he's got Joker Immunity.
Well. The extent of modifications performed on him by Bonesaw is unspecified, but he probably could get killed with enough dakka, it's just no one sane usually gets close enough to try. I mean, he hangs out with the Siberian, Crawler, Mannequin, Bonesaw, the sane distance is preferably interstate.
Anyway, I also feel newfound sadness over Peter not trying to save the cheesiest Worm character himself
But hey, Tattletale is on the job, so everything should be just peachy, right?
Right?
- Location
- Rotting in port
The S9 ruined plenty of people, there should be at least a few vengeful widowers willing to take a shot. Even if they didn't, there is a point in the PRT threat scale that calls for missiles from another city as recommended response, and the S9 absolutely qualify.
The S9 tend to go for small isolated towns and wipe most of the population; all it'd take is someone reporting their presence and the PRT would be required to call a missile strike/air raid on them. Hell, drop a MOAB or ten on them, then carpet bomb the town with napalm and WP for good measure, and the innocent collateral victims would still be less than the people they wouldn't kill on just the next couple of attacks.
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Raiseth
I Find Your Lack of Memes Disturbing
- Location
- Russia
Why am I trying to justify Worm canon again?
Look, I know it's stupid this band of murderhobos survived rampaging through the United States for twenty years. I got nothing. Make peace with your gods and find whatever explanation you find palatable, is my advice to you.
- Location
- Zagreb, Croatia
Reality jumped the shark. Mayans saw this coming way back when and that's what the 2012 prophecy was all about. Not "end of the world" but "end of the good writing of the plot of the world".
WhoAmEye
Bunker-Dwelling Cryptid
- Location
- Vault Birb
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Jack has Cauldron as a guardian angel devil, so yeah, he's got plot armour from the walking plot device. Can't remember why they wanted Jack alive, specifically, but...
Edit: and that's canon. if the author here wants to do away with that because I imagine Peter has some level of precog immunity (you'd almost certainly need it just to exist in the worm setting with metaknowledge and not have contessa being the plot device she is and jumping you for that info), then he may be able to work around the plot armour.
Edit: and that's canon. if the author here wants to do away with that because I imagine Peter has some level of precog immunity (you'd almost certainly need it just to exist in the worm setting with metaknowledge and not have contessa being the plot device she is and jumping you for that info), then he may be able to work around the plot armour.
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WhoAmEye
Bunker-Dwelling Cryptid
- Location
- Vault Birb
- Pronouns
- She/Her
We could always feature dirty talk between dragon and armsmaster, or take a close look at battery and assault's marriage, or danny finding love again...
Josnacio
Average Nasuverse Enjoyer
- Location
- You're comin' to Brazil!
On the one hand, I make it a personal policy not to kink shame people. You do whatever makes you happy.
On the other hand, why can't SV have a Vomit Rating like Discord does?
Does Danny take a single proactive action in the entirety of Worm? I'm pretty sure almost every appearance is him being lied to about something or other, mostly by Taylor and when it's not her it's the PRT. A relationship requires effort, and he's clearly not willing to put that in.
Still, Dragon is one of the nicest canon characters, so at least I actually like her, but IIRC chronologically she's seven years old by the time of canon? Maybe 10 if Richter took a while on her creation and we count that time too. Still an argument there, even if she's portrayed as an adult. Arguably Taylor is as well, since she makes every meaningful decision in her life by the time canon starts.
Anyway, this is probably not the place for this overall discussion even if the author doesn't mind.
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- Pronouns
- He
The trick is to say kink shaming is your kink.