Mandalorian Women Prefer Armour (Noncanon/+10 Bonus)
Spart117MC
Amateur human
- Location
- Cali
Got inspired to write this by people discussing armoring the Jedi and some of the named clones being female this time around. The clones are notably divergent personality wise thanks to having had more time to interact with one another as biological adults and being more immersed in Mandalorian culture. Final disclaimer, the following was written for maximum comedy over anything else.
— / — / —
"Cody this is completely unnecessary," Obi-Wan Kenobi told his newly appointed second-in-command. The woman had made it her mission to get him to accept a suit of armor and seemingly not take no for an answer. "My robes are more than enough when it comes to the duties of a Jedi."
"My dress uniform is more than enough for peace delegations as well sir," Cody replied diplomatically. "However it has no place on the battlefield."
"I don't need a suit of armor to deal with blaster-fire, I can do it myself."
"Committing to constant vigilance is an easy way to tire oneself out and even Jedi have physical and mental limits." Cody led them into cabin aboard the Acclamator-class cruiser. Personal quarters, possibly the Commander's own, Obi-Wan deduced after spying a picture featuring Cody – he was fairly certain it was her, she had the same short haircut – and another female clone. "Now sir, if you would please strip."
That caused Obi-Wan to break from his quiet examinations with a start. "I beg your pardon?"
"I need to get your measurements General."
Obi-Wan let out and exasperated sigh. 'This is getting ridiculous.' Obi-Wan didn't want to abuse his newly appointed authority, not for something so petty, but he didn't see any other way out of this...
At the very least not one with his dignity still intact.
"Commander, as your General–"
"No sir."
"I didn't even finish what I had to say."
"General." The clone locked eyes with Obi-Wan. "If I were to follow the order I suspect you were about to give me I would be putting not only you at undue risk but also the lives of those men and women under your command. To do so would be to neglect my duty as a sworn officer of the Grand Army of the Republic. I cannot—I will not, follow any order that would have me do that. Sir."
"I see," said Obi-Wan. Put that way, Obi-Wan really did. He had been trained from childhood to uphold the ways of the Order and to defend the Republic. To protect and to serve were two central pillars of who he was. "Very well, Commander. You win. I will contact the Temple. I am certain that they have my measurements written down... somewhere."
"That would be a waste of time and bandwidth sir." Cody showed off a tape measure in her hand. "I can get your measurements done in minutes. If you would please take off your clothes."
It was in that moment that Obi-Wan distinctly remembered that the dear Commander was a woman. "Well I'm not sure that would be..."
"Not to worry, sir. I'm told I'm rather good with my hands."
"That's not helping, Commander." Despite that Obi-Wan got to disrobing.
"I'll get this done quickly so that the armorers can get you your own suit and jetpack before our next deployment."
"A jetpack? Is that really necessary?" Obi-Wan asked. Flying a starfighter was bad enough, but a jetpack? 'How uncivilized.' "I can use the Force to enhance my movements."
"Does the Force allow for sustained flight?"
Obi-Wan frowned. "Not as far as I'm aware."
"Then you're getting a jetpack and you're going to learn how to use it."
"Joy."
— / — / —
"Cody!"
The clone commander in question looked up from her data slate she had been reading on hearing her name and found walking beside her, her closest sister and fellow officer.
"Rex," Cody greeted with no small amount of fondness. "What headaches have you come to give me today?"
"You say that but you're still smiling," said Rex with a smile of her own, her braided hair – in contrast to Cody's own pixie cut – swaying gently behind her.
"Maybe I'm just in a good mood." The comment prompted an eye rolling from Rex which in turn prompted a light chuckle from Cody. "How do you like your general?"
"Skywalker?" Rex crossed her arms and made a show of turning her eyes up in thought. "He's loud and a little brash. He tried to hide it but he's got an ego." Rex flashed her sister a toothy grin. "He's practically a Mandalorian."
"Lucky you. He sounds like the type to lead from the front."
Rex nodded excitedly in agreement, the resultant movement causing her braid to bounce about and attracting Cody's attention.
"I'm still against you keeping that," said Cody.
"Isek pulls it off," Rex answered with a huff, no less defensive of her choice since the last time the topic had come up.
Cody directed a pointed look at her sister. "Isek has a cybernetic arm."
Rex gave what started off as an irreverent shrug though it lost its carefree attitude halfway through. "I'll pin it up if it turns out to be too unruly in combat." Meeting Cody's eyes, she added, "Promise, sis."
Cody shook her head. "Well, there's certainly space enough for it in your helmet with how empty that head of yours is."
"Ouch," said Rex with an over-exaggerated wince. "I guess that's why I'm only a captain and you're a commander."
"I'm sure that has nothing to do with you wanting to be in the field more," Cody deadpanned.
"Yup. No ulterior motives here," said Rex, entirely devoid of her earlier somber aura. "So, how about you? Have any trouble with your general?"
"There were some difficulties." Cody let out an exasperated sigh. "General Kenobi was adamantly refusing to be fitted out for a suit of armor. He was of the opinion his Jedi robes were sufficient."
Rex gave Cody a look of surprise having recognized that particular sigh. "He put up that much of a fight?"
"Indeed. I had to go as far as tell him he was putting the rest of us at risk before he agreed to strip."
Rex blinked. "I'm sorry I think I misheard you. Did you just say you made your general strip?"
"That's correct. I wasn't going to be getting accurate measurements while he was in those loose robes of his."
"And things get even better." Rex was rubbing her face. "Why didn't you get one of the guys to do it?"
"I was there and I already had the measuring tape on me. Calling in someone else would have been an unnecessary waste of manpower and time."
"So you told the General to strip to his skivvies. In front of you?"
"Yes," Cody answered without hesitation.
The hand on Rex's face ceased to rub at it having been reassigned the task of performing a facepalm. "Cody, you cannot possibly be this dense."
Cody's response had her turning to face Rex with a singular raised eyebrow. "I don't see what the issue is. We see each other in our underwear all the time."
"That's because we're–" Rex gestured back and forth between herself and Cody. "–family! The General isn't! He's a chaste monk who's likely never felt the touch of a woman!"
"And he's my commanding officer," Cody casually pointed out.
"And he's you're commanding officer!" Rex repeated. Once more she blinked. "Wait... you–?"
"Rex, you really should know better than to make assumptions." Cody smirked. Rex stared in confusion as the unfamiliar expression graced Cody's familiar face. "The General didn't blush nearly enough when I went over him with the tape measure to have been a virgin."
"What." That one word was all Rex managed to get out before her brain ground to a halt and she stopped in place.
"Heh. That'll teach Kenobi not to stonewall me when it comes to his protection," Cody said quietly all the while still sporting her smirk. She walked on leaving Rex behind.
"Wait," Rex muttered, her mind finally rebooting. "You don't get to drop that on me and walk away like that. Cody, get back here! Cody!"
— / — / —
As an aside it occurred to me while writing this that canon Clone Troopers and Jedi have pretty similar upbringings. Both lack parents, both are trained from childhood to serve, and both grow up sequestered away from the rest of the galaxy. You know I have to wonder if that's part of the reason why we don't see Jedi objecting to clones being used as soldiers. Oh sure the Jedi repeatedly tell clones that they're people but they don't seem all that uncomfortable with clones being created to defend the Republic and I wonder if that's because of their own upbringing making the idea of involuntary service natural to them. They're blinded to the idea that the clones could be slaves because to them being raised to serve the Republic is natural, the Jedi Order doing the same thing with all the galaxy's force sensitives.
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