Rule #72: Always beware a pleased Shinobi - One Hundred Shinobi Axioms
You're not a big fan of responsibility.
Oh, you keep your promises and you'll do your duty, of course. But taking on extra work? Doing more than anyone asks of you? Only bad things lie down that road.
So when you were asked to teach a Genin team, you answered with a firm, unequivocating no. You're not a fan of kids either, and you have better things to do with your time than herding a pack of brats.
Then, naturally, your father got involved and you had to compromise.
"I get to fail them if they're too much of a pain."
Sarutobi Hiruzen, the once and current Hokage nods in acquiescence. "Naturally, every Jounin-Sensei has that choice." His lips curl down into a frown as he says this. "Don't think you can use that as an excuse though. It's my understanding that this year's Genin are particularly talented."
You sigh, light up a cigarette and take a drag. Your father mirrors you with his pipe.
"Fine."
The Hokage's grim façade transforms as his frown becomes a pleased smile. "Wonderful, I know you will make a very good sensei, Asuma."
"Alright, alright, quit lookin' so damn pleased with yourself old man." You grunt, ruthlessly squashing any feelings of embarrassment. "So… you got what you want, what now?"
"Now, where was it…" Your father shuffles some papers across his desk, "Ah, here it is. You will be meeting with the rest of the prospective Jounin-Sensei in room 136, third floor." He says as he hands you a scroll from across his desk.
Your brow furrows as you accept it. "They're all already in a meeting."
Your father responds with a gallic shrug, "Well, all but one anyway."
"You knew I'd say yes."
The Sandaime puts on a kind, grandfatherly smile. Of course on anyone else, it would be called a smirk. "That is the nature of my job, I'm afraid."
You take a deep breath and exhale. You're a grown-ass man, have been for a while now, but you've found that nothing quite makes you feel as though you're a child playing at ninja like when your old man pulls this shit.
"Fine." You grit out, making your way out of the office.
Your father's call wishing you good luck is cut off as the thick door to his office firmly shuts.
You take your time heading down to the third floor. It's petty, making all of your fellow Jounin wait on you, but the small act of rebellion helps soothe your nerves as you peruse the Jounin-Sensei registration form in your hands.
You shoulder your way into the meeting room, still browsing the scroll, when a voice makes you look up from your reading.
"Asuma!" Yuhi Kurenai is the very picture of pleased, "I wasn't expecting to see you here, are you going to be a sensei too?"
What little is left of your irritation melts away like snow in the spring sun as you adopt a nonchalant pose and your mouth slides into an easy grin. "Guess so. Turns out old monkeys can be pretty wily."
Kurenai huffs, honestly, it's kind of cute, how she gets all prickly when you're so familiar with your old man. "You're doing it again, at least save it for when we're off duty."
"Oh?" You ask, arching your eyebrow. "When we're off duty, huh? You got something you wanna say to me Yuhi?"
"Stop it," your teammate giggles, a light dusting of red coating her cheekbones. "You know what I meant."
You sigh in mock disappointment. "I guess I'll never get you to ask me out. What a shame."
"You know that's supposed to be the man's job, right?" She asks, fighting to keep her face placid even as her lips twitch into a small smile.
You offer back a careless shrug. "I suppose I'll have to get around to it one of these days." You let the silence stretch, observing Yuhi's face turn a distinctly charming shade of pink before moving on. "What are you doing here anyway? Your maternal instinct finally get the better of you?"
Kurenai huffs out a small laugh, her father's words on the night of the Kyuubi attack had become an old inside joke between the two of you. He was never going to live them down. Still, the amusement fades from her face as she turns pensive, "It's been five years, you know. Since my last student."
"Yakumo." You say, acutely feeling the levity drain out of the atmosphere between the two of you.
Kurenai nods, "I just got to thinking, you know, it's been five whole years since that whole mess. Maybe it's time to try again, right?"
"You always were a sore loser, Yuki." You chuckle.
"I am not!" She says, mock scowling up at you. Well, maybe it's a real scowl, but you'll take it over the melancholy look any day.
Before the two of you can devolve into playful bickering, Ebisu primly clears his throat from the other end of the room. "If the two of you are done flirting, perhaps we can proceed with the meeting?"
You both look up at the special Jounin, snapped out of your own little world. Then you scan the rest of the room. Hatake, the smug bastard, waves cheerfully at the pair of you.
"Uh, right, yeah, uhh…" You mutter lamely as the two of you separate with matching blushes.
Ebisu nods in satisfaction, impatience assuaged at long last. "As we all know, there is one month left until the Konoha Ninja Academy graduates its latest class." Wait, really? "Obviously, an essential part of forming a good team is that the instructor should have a high compatibility index with his students." Ebisu lectures the group of jonin in the room. "To wit, I have devised a method by which we can most efficiently ascertain which jonin is most fit for-"
"How about we just pick straws?" Kakashi suggests, pulling a handful of senbon from seemingly nowhere.
Ebisu sputters at the interruption, but before he can get a word in edgewise, there's a resounding round of approval from the entire room.
You'd feel bad for Ebisu, really, you would. But you've sat through far too many of his lectures before to ignore the warning signs.
"Do you mean to randomly assign teams, Hatake!? That's madness!" Ebisu all but shouts at the elite Jounin.
"Of course not, Ebisu-san," Kakashi says, all reassurance and respect, "but surely it would be best if we had some time to observe the students we may one day teach, no?"
Ebisu frowns, sensing a trap. "I suppose… But I'll have you know, this is all highly irreg-"
"Fantastic." Kakashi cuts off a sputtering Ebisu once more, "Well then, everyone pick a straw - well, senbon."
Something about the single eye you can see seems far too pleased with itself. You don't like it. Still, better this than a lecture from Ebisu you suppose.
Kurenai draws her straw "Hyuuga." She says, frowning minutely.
"Ooh, good draw, Yuhi-san, that girl is quite studious." Kakashi smiles beatifically (you assume), "Well, you're next Asuma, come now, don't be shy."
Kakashi is acting… very odd today. Not at all laconic, chipper even, on time (or at least a reasonable estimation thereof), you're starting to sense a trap yourself. Still, better to walk into a trap prepared to dodge than try to avoid it and catch a face full of kunai. You take your pick and feel your brow furrow in confusion as you read it. "Satomura? Can't say I've heard that name before."
"Tsk tsk, Sarutobi-san, you don't know about Daisuke-kun? He and the littlest Uchiha are competing for rookie of the year, you know." Kakashi says, once again looking far too pleased with himself.
Satomura, huh? You don't recognize the name, so he's almost certainly civilian-born. It's not unheard of for students with no ninja parents to end up Rookie of the Year of course, but as far as you understand this year's class was supposed to be packed to the brim with heirs from the Clans. Either this kid's punching way above his paygrade or all of your fellow would-be sensei are about to be thoroughly disappointed.
You're so caught up in the mystery of your new observation target that you largely ignore the rest of the prospective Sensei as they draw their straws and have their various picks be praised by Hatake.
Then, as Hatake takes his own senbon, his eye grinning like the cat who caught the canary, there's a *pop*, a burst of smoke, the sound of a senbon needle falling to the floor, and an outraged going on livid Ebisu right behind where Kakashi used to be.
"HAAAA-TAAAA-KEEEEE!" He roars, prompting the various jonin in the room to scatter. Ebisu is utterly impossible to be around when properly mad - well, unless your name is Anko Mitarashi anyway, apparently she finds his unending, breathless rants hilarious.
At a safe distance from ground zero, you take a look at your senbon once more. "Satomura, huh?" You say to yourself. "Well, maybe today won't be such a waste after all."