[X] Plan: Go Home and Freak Out a Little
"That was miserable."
Eight people sit around the table at the Tomoe apartment, tea and snacks between them. Your servants aren't all in attendance, or else there wouldn't be enough room for everyone. Lancer is - you hope - safely returned to the Mikuni mansion, under control after her bout of battle-mania upon seeing the enemy Saber, with Berserker on watch to make sure nothing happens to her. Assassin is around, but she's wandered off to another part of the apartment so she and her master don't have to be near one another. You hope their initial animosity won't negatively impact Assassin's ability to work with the team as a whole. Saber is also around, you're sure he wouldn't have abandoned Hitomi like that, but you haven't seen him since returning to the Tomoe apartment. Archer, Rider, and Caster are the only servants who are immediately visible.
"Not you," you say to the four of you who were part of the rooftop battle against the enemy Archer and her master. "Out of all of us, you actually managed to get the better of your opponents. But the rest of us all had pretty miserable showings." Or no showing at all, as evidenced by Hitomi and Nurse Ortensia's complete lack of participation outside of being there for their servants.
Kirika crosses her arms, motioning to Hijiri Kanna with her head as she says "Not my fault the shrimp here didn't tell us about the goddamn teddy bear army that crazy sword bitch was packing. Seriously, they kept coming no matter how many times I'd cut'em down!"
"Dearest, don't take the Lord's name in vain." Oriko corrects Kirika's choice of words. "That said, I do agree that perhaps Hijiri-san could have done a better job informing us of our opponents' capabilities."
"I did the best I could," Hijiri Kanna replied. "I wasn't created to serve a combat function. It's lucky I know enough about their abilities as I do."
"Well, what else can you tell us?" Tomoe-san asks. "That way we won't be caught off-guard like this in the future."
"Well, Wakaba Mirai apparently has an army of teddy bear familiars. I didn't know that, but apparently that's a thing she has." Kirika doesn't appear to appreciate Hijiri Kanna's snark. "As for the others, it's fairly spotty what I do and don't know about them, considering I've never had a front-row seat to any of their abilities in combat." You don't miss the subtle change in tone as Hijiri Kanna moves from saying abilities to in combat. "The only other Saints whose ability I know for sure is Misaki Umika. She-" There it is again. "-can alter other people's memories. I don't think I need to say this, but watch out if you're fighting her."
You've had experience fighting opponents who can alter your memories. The first Assassin servant you met was a master-less serial killer with the ability to erase the memories of anyone who encountered her; among other, equally annoying abilities. Fighting her was an uphill battle, and you are not looking forward to fighting Misaki Umika.
"What about their crazy regeneration?" Kyouko asked. "'Cause last night, when I broke that cat-eared bitch's ribs, they stayed broke, but then I fought that sword bitch and I couldn't make a single thing stick, and Mami said she saw the cat-eared bitch's arm grow back after being shot off. So what gives?"
"Kanna Niko can manipulate objects in just about any way she chooses. On top of that, her servant Assassin is a medical professional," Hijiri Kanna reminds Kyouko. "It's not out of the realm of possibility for the two of them to have come up with something after seeing the kind of damage your side is capable of last night."
"Great," Kyouko grouses. "So not only do we gotta worry about them being able ta kick our asses, but we also gotta worry about them not dying even if we kill'em? How the fuck're we supposed ta beat'em now?"
Hijiri Kanna shrugs. "I can't give you the answer to that question." You don't miss the subtle twitching of Hijiri Kanna's fingers, the brief curling into an almost-fist as she says "I can hope you succeed, but I can't give you the answer. I'm willing to help, if I can, but you'll have to figure out how to beat them on your own."
"Well, what do we know?" you ask, laying your cards out on the table. "We know the identity of their Saber and Archer servants; Sigurd and Atalanta, respectively. I know what their Saber is capable of, and Rider should be able to telll us what their Archer is capable of, since he knows her." You turn to Kyouko and Kirika, and say to them "You witnessed Rider and Assassin fighting with the enemy Rider. What were they like?"
"A tall shirtless dude in a cape," Kyouko replies. "Pretty tan, might'a been African, maybe?"
"Maybe North African?" Kirika asks. "I don't think he was dark enough to be, like, African African, but maybe he was some famous dude from, I dunno, Egypt? I mean, he had that gold and blue staff-thingy you always see dead Egyptian dudes holding, didn't he?"
"A crook," Rider corrects Kirika. "That's what it's called, a crook. That definitely narrows him down to being Egyptian. Problem is, he could be any number of famous figures from Egypt, and without seeing a Noble Phantasm I don't have the slightest idea who he could have been." Rider turns his head off towards the side, and calls out "What do you think, Assassin? Do you have any thoughts about our mystery Rider's identity?"
"He'd have to be someone pretty famous, to warrant being that arrogant," Assassin replies. "My guess? Ramesses II. He's got the name recognition to make it as a powerful heroic spirit from Egypt; certainly enough of it for it to have gone to his arrogant little head."
"What does that mean for us?"
Assassin shrugs, and the movement of her shoulders ruffle her mane of feathers, making her appear like a preening peacock. A sudden urge to visit the zoo with Madoka strikes you as you imagine Assassin as an exhibit. "Who knows? Without the knowledge given to me by the Grail I wouldn't even know what an 'Egypt' was. Maybe Golden Boy over there can tell us something?"
"If we assume that our mystery Rider is indeed Ramesses II, then the enemy has drawn a good card," Caster says. He looks at Assassin, while as if to say "Don't look down on me," she tries to burn a hole through his head with lasers that fail to spring from her eyes. "I would imagine a name as powerful as his would have no shortage of Noble Phantasms at his disposal, and if he is of the Rider class then he has the advantage over myself, much as it pains me to say, and my attempts to use my Sight on him have fallen short. I can only advise that we proceed with caution when dealing with the enemy's Rider in the future."
"What about the enemy Archer," you say to Rider. "What can you tell us about her?"
"She's fast," are the first words out of Rider's mouth. He turns to you, asking "You said she ran up the side of a building to avoid Archer's attack, right? That doesn't surprise me. Atalanta was known for her speed back in the day. Uh, she's not that sturdy, though, so I'm not sure how she managed to survive taking a hit from Caster if it was strong enough to knock her through a building. Sheer dumb luck, maybe? She's got a better Luck stat than a lot of other servants do, so..."
"Excuse me," Hitomi interrupts Rider, though she looks ashamed of herself for having done so. "But this isn't the first time I've heard of servants having stats. What do you mean by that?"
"You know how you might be good at something that someone else is bad at?" Archer asks. Hitomi nods, and Archer continues, saying "Well, it's kind of like that, only more codified. Try looking at each of us servants using your master's vision, and that'll give you a pretty good idea of things." After a few unsuccessful attempts, you hear a "Oh!" escape Hitomi's mouth, and Archer says "You get it now?"
"Yes, I believe I do. Thank you, Archer." Hitomi looks around the room. You can only imagine what her thoughts are upon seeing Archer, Rider, Caster, and Assassin revealed to her master's vision. "That's... Quite something. So, I can use this on any servant, and I'll instantly get a little visual about them like this? That must come in handy." Hitomi coughs into her hand, before sheepishly saying to Rider "I'm terribly sorry for interrupting you, Rider. Please, continue."
"Right; where was I? Ah! Aside from her speed, Atalanta's got two Noble Phantasms you need to watch out for. You've already seen Phoebus Catastrophe; that's the big bombardment she used to destroy the church, but she's also got, uh..." Rider swallows the lump in his throat. "I'd really like to not see her use her other Noble Phantasm, but I guess you guys deserve to know anyway. Agrius Metamorphosis... By allowing her body and mind to be taken over by a curse inhabiting the pelt of the Calydonian Boar, Agrius Metamorphosis allows her to turn into a Berserker-like state and gives her a massive boost to her physical parameters. It also causes her body to warp into something resembling the Boar. It's... Just all-around not a good look for a girl like her."
"Hold on-" Saber appears beside his master, wearing a look of concern on his face. "You're saying the enemy Archer has a Noble Phantasm that turns her into a boar?"
"I mean, not exactly, but... Yeah, kinda, if you're willing to get a little loose with your definition. Why? That gonna be a problem?"
"It might," Saber says. "In life, I was cursed to die by a boar, and I don't know if that curse will continue over to this life. On top of that, I'm naturally at a disadvantage against her."
"So we know not to send Saber into battle against the enemy Archer in the future," you say. "That's good to know." Now if only it were that easy to figure out who you could and couldn't send to fight against the rest of the enemy roster. Having Lancer fight the enemy Saber doesn't seem like a very healthy proposition for her, but now that she's seen Sigurd you don't know if she'll give you any choice in the matter.
[ ] Is there anything else you need to discuss?
-[ ] Where should Hijiri Kanna stay from now on?
-[ ] What can you do to protect your most vulnerable masters?
-[ ] What should you do if the Saints attack your muggle friends?
[ ] In the future, what are your thoughts about how to approach combat between masters?
-[ ] What about Hitomi?
-[ ] What about Nurse Ortensia?
[ ] In the future, what are your thoughts about how to approach combat between servants?
-[ ] Are you worried about the enemy servants whose identities you still don't know?
[ ] Other (write-in)
