Hi-Diddly-Ho…Kaiserino?
It was already getting dark when Flanders arrived at the cemetery. Flanders couldn't stop the grimace that came from his mouth at seeing the lugubrious sight that awaited him.
As Ned walked by the now familiar road to his destination, he looked around, observing all the gravestones—the old ones that were here for some time now and the new ones that came after the Dome Incident. It filled his heart with sadness to see how such a disaster ruined the lives of so many people. As he passed the gravestone of one "Nicholas Riviera", Ned gave a quick prayer in his mind to his Lord, hoping that there was a spot in Heaven for all the deceased.
His weary steps eventually led him to the reason he visited this place. A gravestone, not different from the other ones that filled this place, but still one that had an important place in Ned's heart. There was a name engraved in the stone:
Maude Flanders (1958–2000)
Flanders gently sets down the bouquet of flowers on the tombstone and takes out a bible, but instead of opening it, he just holds it tight against his chest while taking a deep breath. A comforting feeling starts to arise from inside his body, making the uneasiness he felt since he stepped into the place go away.
"Hello Maude it's been… a long time, isn't it? Hehe."
A momentary surge of regret surges in his heart. Good lord, Flanders couldn't actually remember the last time he actually visited her grave, it had been months at this rate, he was sure. Things in Springfield have been just…to difficult for Ned to go visit her. Between taking care of his children and dealing with the Leftorium closing, he had his hands full. Still, that didn't stop him, he was here now, at the very least.
"These last few months have been very rough, dear. The Lord has really been putting everyone's fate to the test. It's really surprising the ways he can test us, you know?"
Ned allows himself to crack a smile.
"Can you really believe that they tried to put a dome over the city? That seemed straight out of one of those cartoons that children like to watch, right?"
He lets the smile remain a few more seconds before it disappears, a sigh taking its place. He grabs the Bible and holds it in front of him. His hand caressed the cover of the book.
"I was able to keep Rod and Todd safe during all of that, I managed to keep them from seeing the worst of things. People…got really desperate at the end of that. Luckily, our neighborino Homer came through for all of us! Amazing right?"
Ned looked to the side, watching the rows of graves that filled the place.
"I wish I could tell you after the dome blew up that things returned to normal, but… not quite yet dear. Things are gonna take a bit more time before they get back to normal, but I think we are on the right track." Ned continued as he noticed clouds starting to appear in the night sky.
"Things do seem to be getting better, after the Leftorium closed I managed to land a new job, that's quite the story to… tell," Ned stopped speaking as he let out another sigh and his face dropped a bit. He gave another glance to see if there was someone else around. After making sure he was alone he continued.
"I still miss you Maude…a lot. During these trying times, I wished so hard that you were here with me." Ned clutched the Bible so hard that it was up to anyone's guess if his fingers would break first, or the book. "When the riots began and people started getting crazy I didn't know what to do. If it wasn't for our children I'm afraid Satan could have managed to tempt me."
And though Ned thought he was alone, there was, in fact, someone else listening, an uninvited guest so to say. Though to be fair, he was here way before Ned arrived.
"Even so, I still keep praying, my faith for our Lord as strong as ever and in the end, he answered all my prayers."
Ned gave a mix of a chuckle and a sob as he remembered how the glass prison cracked that day, showing that those nightmarish days were nearing their end. "It did make me realize how…lonely I've been since your departure though. Even with the kids and the rest of Springfield here for me, it hasn't been the same without you."
So engrossed in his monologue Ned was that he didn't notice one of the nearby graves started to tremble.
"I…I think it's time to move forward. Announce to the world that Ned is on the market once again! After all… love is not only for the young right?" Ned gave a small smile as he knelt in front of the grave. "I hope that you can give your blessing from the Lord's side." He then got up and gave her wife's grave one last look.
"It was great talking to you again Maude, I will do my best to visit more often, but it seems the next weeks are gonna be very busy. Mr. Simpson seems to have big plans for the city." Flanders gave a melancholy look on his face before it was replaced by his usual smile.
Unnoticed to him, the earth around the grave started to shift, menacingly, without him the wiser.
"Man, it is getting late, better head back home fast, I need to make dinner for the kids." Ned comments as he makes his way back to the entrance. By now, the clouds had covered the whole sky, even blocking the light of the full moon.
"Wohin glauben Sie, dass Sie gehen, mein guter Herr?" A voice whispered so low, breaking the silence and early aura of the night.
Ned stopped, surprised, as he looked around the graveyard. "Did I just hear someone mutter in German?" He gave a full 360º but wasn't able to find anyone else. "Eh, it might be just the wind." He continued his walk towards the exit.
Suddenly… Ned heard a loud noise behind him. Looking back, he saw a hole in the ground, from one of the graves. And poking from that hole was a sickly and rotten hand.
"For decadez I've been dorrrmaaaant." A rough, German voice came out from the hole. Ned couldn't contain the fear in his heart, a cold sweat breaking over his entire body. "Vo darez awaken me from my zzzzlumbeeer?" The voice continued, as a body could be seen climbing from the hole.
Ned started to back away, but after a few steps, he stumbled and fell. Frightened, he still kept backing away crawling. "L-L-Lord, pl-please, protect m-m-meeee!" He stuttered as he continued moving back, while grasping a cross he took out of his pocket, aiming it at the being that was slowly getting out of the ground.
"I am afraid zat god iz not here, hehe." The stranger said as he rose out of the hole and stood to his full height. The darkness of the place made it hard for Ned to fully see them "Itz only you and ich." The being said as he started walking forward, towards Ned.
"It iz I, ze one and only, Kaiser Villhelm II!"
Lighting seems to strike out of nowhere, illuminating the area and allowing Ned to have a clear view of the man(?), if only momentarily and what he saw scared the hell out of him. Rotten grayish flesh could be seen, which was wearing an old and deteriorated German Uniform, with several medals attached to it, rusted and damaged. A gray musty mustache accompanied the rotten and grinning face of the being.
"B-Begone evil one! There's no p-place for y-you here!" Ned said, scared and on the ground, while still aiming the cross at the apparent zombie(?). "Go back to Satan, you f-fiend."
"Oh, trust me. Zatan could not hold me zere." The zombie Kaiser said as he approached Ned, every step he took caused all the bones in his body to make harsh creaking sounds. "I zhould zank you, my young man. itz because of you I managed to fully avaken!" The zombie said as he raised both of his arms in the air, one arm shorter than the other.
"ME?! What in the fiery pits of hell are you talking about?" Ned said a bit offended, his fears ignored for a moment.
"Vell, you see my vell moisturized mustached friend. Your deep and emozional speech voke me up from my lethargy. Vor a few months now, my zoul and body been vaiting for someone to disturb it. And zats youuuuuu!" Kaiser says as he points a finger from the larger arm toward him. Ned could do nothing but stare in abject horror.
"And now, iz time for me to accomplish my mission. I vill clear my name, become the Kaiser again and bring glory to meeee. Soon, ze fourth Reich will begin!" The german said with an air of confidence as he stared deep into Ned's eyes.
And the only thing Ned could do as the zombified German proclaimed his intentions to the world was…
"Um… you sure you want to do that?" Ned said, intrigued and questioning the zombie's motives.
"Vhat? Of course! That's ze only reason my zoul iz still posezzing this putrefacted corpse!" The Kaiser said indignant.
"I..I know, it's just…from what I remember from the history books things didn't go your way while you held the crown." Ned said as he rubbed his head a little, still a bit skittish around the literal zombie. "You could…not do that? Also… last time I checked, Germany no longer has royalty, it might be kind of awkward having a zombie as a leader."
"...Of course, I have to do zat!" The Kaiser said, but it could seem he was a little doubtful. "I need to zet zhings right…Ozervise, vhats the point of being here. I…vould have nothing elze!" He said with a sad look on his rotten face.
Ned looked at the Kaiser with a bit of pity and understanding. "Is there really nothing else you want to do?" Ned says catching the Kaiser's attention. "I'm…going to ignore for a moment that you are a zombie, but, there has to be something you didn't get to do while…alive?"
"Mmm.." Kaiser thought as he stroked his mustache, face in full thought. "I did alvays vanted to be a cowboy." The zombie comments while looking at the ground. "But how could I achieve zhat now? Look at me!" He says as he motions to…well, his literal rotten corpse.
"Um…perhaps my boss could help you?." Ned says in a dubious tone. "We would gladly make…the arrangement."
"Vonderwar! Take me to your leader zhen." Kaiser says with a commanding tone.
"Oh of course!" Ned says quickly. "It would be our pleasure! Though…It is kind of late. Also a Saturday." He says sheepishly. "You would have to wait until Monday for Mr. Simpson to be available."
"Scheiße!" Wilhelm II exclaims. "Fery vell. Zhen I should vait until zhen. Let'z go to your abode, I vill stay vith you meanvile." Kaiser says in a definite tone, while walking up to Flanders, still in the ground, and offering a hand.
"I..can't just bring you to my home!" Ned says apprehensive. "I have so many questions! Just how in the Lord's name are you here? Zombies are just a product of Hollywood!" Ned exclaims as he takes the offered hand and manages to get up.
"Magic." Kaiser answers nonchalantly.
"Magic isn't real! Don't bring that Harry Potter nonsense here!" Flanders said annoyed.
"I don't know vat zis "Potter" zhing is, but Magic is fery real," the Kaiser comments as he starts walking towards the exit, "come on, ve don't have all night. Ve need to move before more of ze sleeping souls here avaken."
"Wait what? There can be more of you guys?" Flanders says scared, while looking back at Maude's grave, alarmed.
"Maybe?" Kaiser just shrugs his shoulders, making more creaking sounds. "If the zouls had grudges or unfinizhed business, zhere's a chance. Zhey vould need a stimulli from outside to vake up though."
"Oh no…holly moly." Flanders said as he stared at the bunch of graves around him and with a gulp, started running to catch up to the zombified Kaiser. He would need to inform Mr. Simpson soon!
After a few minutes, they reached the entrance. "I nefer heard your name, Herr…?" Kaiser Willhelm comments as both of them stand in front of the gates.
"Oh…It's Ned. Ned Flanders."
"Herr Flanders then. Let me introduce myself again. I'm Kaiser Villhelm II, a pleasure."
He offers Flanders a handshake.
"Hi diddly ho…Kaiserino?" He says with an unsure tone as he grasps the handshake.
The night didn't go as Ned expected. Not one bit. Still, It wasn't so bad, or so he thinks as both if them got in the car, the Kaiser amazed at the sight of such a thing… Ned didn't have the slightest idea how he was gonna explain any of this to his children… or to his boss.
REWARD:
Ned had a heartfelt talk! He is now more motivated than usual! Ned gets a +5 to next turn's Personal action, as well as whatever National action he is assigned to, if he is assigned to one. New personal actions for Ned unlocked!
You learned that you might have a zombie issue soon… if you don't take precautions.
Ned has met the Kaiser himself! Though a zombie, this man is ready to live some more!
Kaiser Willhelm recruited as a hero unit! (Didn't see that one coming, did you?)
