Would you Distort or manifest EGO?


  • Total voters
    142
"Oh. So you died too. Damn it. Mami was really happy to have you around, you know?"

Her voice echoes through your mind, choked and weak. It sounds as though she's been crying while trying to swallow shards of broken glass.

"Neither of us are dead. You are pretty badly hurt, though. Should be healed in a bit, so just hold on until then."

"Healed? Why are you wasting time with that? I died. Something stronger than me showed up, and nobody's got any right to complain about it. That's just how it goes."
First thing out of her mouth is bemoaning the thought that we died, and concern for Mami who she went out of her way to save.

For all her talk about being selfish she sure is willing to sacrifice herself for someone else who she had a big fight with and supposedly didn't want to see again.

And that her thing, isn't it?
She talks about how normal people are just food, but worked together with an uncontracted Madoka and even took in Yuma, a literal child who had nothing to offer in return.

She disparages others of their ideals, but once adored stories where love and courage triumph and fought to save people from Witches.

She talks about looking out only for herself, but repeatedly gave assistance and advice to another girl who rejected her help, committed to a plan that had no logical basis for success in order to save her, and when it failed sacrificed herself to not only cover for two people she barely knew but also so Sayaka would not die alone. Even her wish was for someone else's sake.

At her core Kyoko Sakura is someone who wants to protect people.

Distorted, either her desire to protect is wrong and only selfishness and the strong are right, a punishing flame that razes all that are in her path, or her desire to protect is exaggerated into unrestrained matyrdom, a candle that lives only to burn down her life for others, the embodiment of sacrifice. A belief that the weak Kyoko can only have worth by sacrificing herself.

For talking, we should aim at the underlying motives of Kyoko's actions. She is someone who says one thing and does something else. The stuff she says is mostly to protect herself instead of what she truly wants, so undercutting her by pointing out how her actions don't line up with her words and then reinforcing that her actions, and the feelings that motivated them are right. Care must be taken to ensure that she does not see that her perceived weakness is an inherent part of her being and that sacrificing herself is all that she is good for.

To start, Kyoko is asserting that the strong tramples the weak, and the weak do not deserve saving.
Yet Mami could not defeat Nothing There and would have been killed. That makes her weak and deserving of death.
Yet Kyoko went out of her way to save her.
If it was okay to save Mami, someone who was weaker then her opponent, then it is okay to heal Kyoko, who was also weaker than her opponent.
She is alive because someone else saw that she was about to die, and said "no." Someone who stepped in and fought to protect her when she needed it most.
That someone is you.
And you were there to save her because you were alive.

[X] If that is true, then why did you save Mami?
-[X] She fought Nothing There and lost. Therefore as the weaker she is deserving of death.
-[X] But she is alive because you saved her.
-[X] She is alive because someone else saw that she was about to die, and said "no." Someone who stepped in and fought to protect her when she needed it most.
-[X] That someone is you.
-[X] And you were there to save her because you were alive.
-[X] If it was okay to save Mami, someone who was weaker then her opponent, then it is okay to heal Kyoko, who was also weaker than her opponent.

If someone can help workshop this to be more comprehensible, that would be a great help.
I haven't slept in 20 hours and am now going to collapse.

Also, a question. Kyoko's Distortion is Golachab, isn't it? The Burning Ones, the Quiphoth that is opposed by Gebura? The fire imagery and theme of protecting others are a pretty good match.
Good thing that Gebura is here. She might have something to say that can relate to Kyoko.
 
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[X] She knows that her dying wouldn't be that simple, not for anyone that cares about her, and she isn't dead anyway.
-[X] If nothing else, Mami still wants to be her friend, and she care about her happiness. Don't throw away a perfectly good second chance.
-[X] It's important she knows that after this, things won't be the same. She probably won't have a Soul Gem, and thus no need to hunt witches. But she'll still have power.
 
Found an even better vote:

[X] If that is true, then why did you save Mami?
-[X] She fought Nothing There and lost. Therefore as the weaker she is deserving of death.
-[X] But she is alive because you saved her.
-[X] She is alive because someone else saw that she was about to die, and said "no." Someone who stepped in and fought to protect her when she needed it most.
-[X] That someone is you.
-[X] And you were there to save her because you were alive.
-[X] If it was okay to save Mami, someone who was weaker then her opponent, then it is okay to heal Kyoko, who was also weaker than her opponent.

Wording needs refinement but yeah I agree with it.
 
To note: While I disagree with Nottheunmaker on delegation and if it should happen in quests or not, none of the current plans are a problem to me, they all hit different notes in the emotional landscape of Kyouko, but none of them seems like they could lead to a disaster, even discounting the QM saying that intent was more important than phrasing here and that discussion was taken into account.
 
[X] She knows that her dying wouldn't be that simple, not for anyone that cares about her, and she isn't dead anyway.
-[X] If nothing else, Mami still wants to be her friend, and she care about her happiness. Don't throw away a perfectly good second chance.
-[X] It's important she knows that after this, things won't be the same. She probably won't have a Soul Gem, and thus no need to hunt witches. But she'll still have power.
 
[X] She knows that her dying wouldn't be that simple, not for anyone that cares about her, and she isn't dead anyway.
-[X] If nothing else, Mami still wants to be her friend, and she care about her happiness. Don't throw away a perfectly good second chance.
-[X] It's important she knows that after this, things won't be the same. She probably won't have a Soul Gem, and thus no need to hunt witches. But she'll still have power.
 
[X] If that is true, then why did you save Mami?
-[X] She fought Nothing There and lost. Therefore as the weaker she is deserving of death.
-[X] But she is alive because you saved her.
-[X] She is alive because someone else saw that she was about to die, and said "no." Someone who stepped in and fought to protect her when she needed it most.
-[X] That someone is you.
-[X] And you were there to save her because you were alive.
-[X] If it was okay to save Mami, someone who was weaker then her opponent, then it is okay to heal Kyoko, who was also weaker than her opponent.
 
[X] If that is true, then why did you save Mami?
-[X] She fought Nothing There and lost. Therefore as the weaker she is deserving of death.
-[X] But she is alive because you saved her.
-[X] She is alive because someone else saw that she was about to die, and said "no." Someone who stepped in and fought to protect her when she needed it most.
-[X] That someone is you.
-[X] And you were there to save her because you were alive.
-[X] If it was okay to save Mami, someone who was weaker then her opponent, then it is okay to heal Kyoko, who was also weaker than her opponent.
 
I did it! I successfully binged almost 350 pages! Genuinely worth staying up till 1 am to read, this quest rules.

First, two questions. 1: It was asked if there was a repository of previous X appearances; I dont believe it got an answer (if it did, I skipped by accident), but regardless I would like that. I never got to see what she looked like before the full galaxy hair after all.
2: how did argalia get spat out into mitakihara? the distorted reverb ensemble didn't get booked and put into the light - they straight up died. There shouldn't be any of them left. I guess maybe carmen intervened at moment of death for him?

[X] If that is true, then why did you save Mami?
-[X] She fought Nothing There and lost. Therefore as the weaker she is deserving of death.
-[X] But she is alive because you saved her.
-[X] She is alive because someone else saw that she was about to die, and said "no." Someone who stepped in and fought to protect her when she needed it most.
-[X] That someone is you.
-[X] And you were there to save her because you were alive.
-[X] If it was okay to save Mami, someone who was weaker then her opponent, then it is okay to heal Kyoko, who was also weaker than her opponent.

anyway this, I think it is the best path so far for EGO, not just settling for a less destructive form of distortion, but fully working past it, like xiao.


ED:
I don't have any posted at the moment, but there are some comments with it saved. I don't remember exactly where, though.
I guess I could take this opportunity to post galaxy hair then
 
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It was asked if there was a repository of previous X appearances; I dont believe it got an answer (if it did, I skipped by accident), but regardless I would like that. I never got to see what she looked like before the full galaxy hair after all.
I don't have any posted at the moment, but there are some comments with it saved. I don't remember exactly where, though.

2: how did argalia get spat out into mitakihara? the distorted reverb ensemble didn't get booked and put into the light - they straight up died. There shouldn't be any of them left. I guess maybe carmen intervened at moment of death for him?
This will definitely be answered, although not at this moment.
 
Adhoc vote count started by Lepidoptera on Dec 31, 2022 at 1:52 AM, finished with 52 posts and 28 votes.

  • [X] She knows that her dying wouldn't be that simple, not for anyone that cares about her, and she isn't dead anyway.
    -[X] If nothing else, Mami still wants to be her friend, and she care about her happiness. Don't throw away a perfectly good second chance.
    -[X] It's important she knows that after this, things won't be the same. She probably won't have a Soul Gem, and thus no need to hunt witches. But she'll still have power.
    [X] "It's not the strong who survive; it's those who survive that are strong. Empathy and Friendship are the privileges of the strong, you have earned them at the least."
    [X] Let Mami take the lead on this. She knows Kyoko best out of anyone. Support Mami.
    [X] If that is true, then why did you save Mami?
    -[X] She fought Nothing There and lost. Therefore as the weaker she is deserving of death.
    -[X] But she is alive because you saved her.
    -[X] She is alive because someone else saw that she was about to die, and said "no." Someone who stepped in and fought to protect her when she needed it most.
    -[X] That someone is you.
    -[X] And you were there to save her because you were alive.
    -[X] If it was okay to save Mami, someone who was weaker then her opponent, then it is okay to heal Kyoko, who was also weaker than her opponent.
    [X] "It's not the strong who survive; it's those who survive that are strong."
    [X] Let Mami take the lead on this. She knows Kyoko best out of anyone.
    [X] In the end, Nothing There was defeated and Kyoko was a part of it. She saved Mami.
    -[X] Do you really need a reason to help her?
    -[X] Mami would be hurt if Kyoko left, she was really glad for the chance to restore their relationship.
    -[X] The world can be dark, cruel, and unfair, but with enough will, anyone can make it a little better, even if only for a small number of people.
    -[X]Light can give Kyoko the strength to fight injustice for the things she wants to make a reality. And you and Mami will be there for Kyoko to support her.
    -[X]Maybe you can link Mami and Kyoko's minds so they can talk?

Let the therapy commence. Let's hope you didn't screw up a perfectly good child, yeah?
 
Yes. Let's hope so. Though...

Given how everything went in the quest, I wouldn't be surprised if we did.
 
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I dunno, I feel like people are making Kyoko out to be some kind of tsundere, who says one thing but does another.

But that's not entirely true, is it? Those beliefs of hers, they do cash out into actions sometimes. They have consequences. Like her "ignore familiars" policy in canon, remember that?

She's not someone so hypocritical as to completely ignore the implications of her worldview. Which in this case is not a good thing, necessarily.

(By the way, the vote ended up being a huge mixture of good ideas, which is a shame, because it forces the QM to pick and choose without presenting anything like coherent intent on the voters' part. Oh well, hope X can make sense of this in a satisfactory manner.)
 
Damn I caught up in time just for the vote to close. Oh well the vote is generally okay to me.
Let's hope you didn't screw up a perfectly good child, yeah?
Nothing could possibly go wrong, Manager has extensive experience in TherapyTM​. May or may not include agents beating the shit out of the patient.

I dunno, I feel like people are making Kyoko out to be some kind of tsundere, who says one thing but does another.

But that's not entirely true, is it? Those beliefs of hers, they do cash out into actions sometimes. They have consequences. Like her "ignore familiars" policy in canon, remember that?
I think a more accurate definition of her "tsundere" behavior (and often the behavior of nuanced characters from that archetype) is that she struggles to be truly honest about her motivations for doing or saying the things she does.

Her might makes right ideology is sincere, but it is a shield built in response to the belief that her earnest wish to help her family killed them all. It's a mistake to care for others, because it only leads to them getting hurt. Obviously she doesn't confide deep traumas on a whim, so it's easy to present the cynicism and nothing else. And when she antagonizes Sayaka over being an idealistic fool, it takes a while to confess it was because Sayaka was a reminder of her earlier self.

The heart still exists underneath the shield, which is why we see things like taking Yuma in or opening up to Sayaka. So it is not entirely an inconsistency between saying and doing, but more intent and motivation.

Admittedly I didn't think the best way to point that inconsistency out was to state that her worldview implied Mami was deserving of death, but the winning vote did not include that.
 
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Admittedly I didn't think the best way to point that inconsistency out was to state that her worldview implied Mami was deserving of death, but the winning vote did not include that.
Ugh, yeah. That wasn't great.
I wanted to come up with a more nuanced way to convey that but I was running on fumes and just hit enter.
Can't think well going without sleep.

What would be a better way to convey that?
 
Ugh, yeah. That wasn't great.
I wanted to come up with a more nuanced way to convey that but I was running on fumes and just hit enter.
Can't think well going without sleep.
Yeah, sometimes it can be easy to miss things which is why I shy away from drafting votes myself most of the time haha. But since it's closed now it should be safe to put down my hypothetical vote. Coincidentally it is late for me, so I will go to sleep first and post it in the morning.

Edit: Decided to post hypothetical vote separately.
 
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There is such a thing as delegation, nobody can do everything alone and knowing when to ask someone better placed than you to do something is a good thing, protagonist syndrome is a mental disorder for all intent and purpose (a variant of narcissism I'd say), wanting to do everything ourself because *we don't like giving up responsibility, even when it makes sense and is probably the best solution* is not really an attitude I like.

A good leader know that they can ask their subordinates for help, an incompetent one try to do everything themselves.
Why in the world that apply here? X isn't trying to juggle multiple tasks at once. She's here right now, she specifically came here to to help Kyoko not die. There's nothing else she's doing right now.

One could argue instead that Mami knows Kyoko better, and so she's a better choice to handle the conversation. That's an argument with merit. But it fails because Mami and Kyoko had a messy fight over what they should do about familiars and haven't spoken for a very long time, and is further tainted by what Nothing There did while it was pretending to be Kyoko. Mami has to much baggage for something like this.
(By the way, the vote ended up being a huge mixture of good ideas, which is a shame, because it forces the QM to pick and choose without presenting anything like coherent intent on the voters' part. Oh well, hope X can make sense of this in a satisfactory manner.)
The discussion mattered more then any particular vote winning. Kyoko's problems aren't something that can be dealt with during one conversation, and that conversation has so many different directions it could go in. I believe that the general gist of all the votes covers most of what could come up.
 
Why in the world that apply here? X isn't trying to juggle multiple tasks at once. She's here right now, she specifically came here to to help Kyoko not die. There's nothing else she's doing right now.

Because delegation is not just about multitasking, it's about making sure the best person to do a job is the one doing it?

One could argue instead that Mami knows Kyoko better, and so she's a better choice to handle the conversation. That's an argument with merit. But it fails because Mami and Kyoko had a messy fight over what they should do about familiars and haven't spoken for a very long time, and is further tainted by what Nothing There did while it was pretending to be Kyoko. Mami has to much baggage for something like this.

It is precisely because they had a messy fight that Mami was a good idea here, Mami wanted to reconcile with Kyouko and Kyouko wanted to reconcile with Mami, it's just their respective circumstances that made it not happen, and a conversation that began with Kyouko admitting that she do want to keep Mami alive right after she did prove it by saving her is a pretty good framework for them to be able to actually discuss, and such a discussion is probably something Kyouko needs right now what with her feelings of not being good enough, having Mami thank her for what she did and tells her that she was lonely without her ought to get her out of her spiral at the very least.
 
What would be a better way to convey that?
But since it's closed now it should be safe to put down my hypothetical vote. Coincidentally it is late for me, so I will go to sleep first and post it in the morning.
At this time I would have aimed to only challenge certain parts of her worldview rather than do a step by step deconstruction. Hypothetical vote now that the vote is over:

[] Sheer strength is not the end of the story.
-[] Nothing There bested you, but at a key moment your will cried out with your magic and stopped the abnormality from hurting Mami. That gave us the opportunity we needed to finish it off.
-[] It was because you were alive that you could do that.
-[] Wouldn't you like to see Mami again? I'm sure Mami here with me would agree.
-[] [bring Mami into the Lobotomy to speak if possible]
 
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2.1.2 - Cracked, But Not Broken
Chapter 81 - Cracked, But Not Broken

"Like I said, neither of us are dead. So that argument doesn't hold any weight."

A slight glow begins to encompass Kyoko's Soul Gem. Not the Light nor her magic, but simple heat. As the white-hot radiance spreads further, you gently set the gem on the ground. It would take much higher temperatures to start to cause actual damage, but this is almost certainly only the beginning. Mami's breath hitches and she grasps your coat, her composure otherwise unshaken. In contrast to the burning heat, Kyoko herself remains silent.

"You still have a chance. Mami misses you, she-."

"In case you forgot," Kyoko cuts you off suddenly. "I left Mami. And I didn't come back. That was just that thing pretending to be me."

You sigh in spite of yourself. You've dealt with enough distressed people to recognize such an obvious deflection for what it is. Even if you weren't literally hooked up to Kyoko's emotions at the moment, she still gave herself away right at the start of the conversation.

"You can't expect me to believe that any more than you do." you say sternly. "I'd be a lot more willing to believe you don't care about Mami if the first thing you said to me wasn't about her." Waves of heat roll over you as you wait for Kyoko to find a response. You could press further, but that would most certainly do more harm than good. Instead, you rest a hand on Mami's shoulder and remain patient.

The short moments in which Kyoko is silent feel like an eternity. Then, at last, she speaks again. "It doesn't matter what I feel about Mami. I still left, I still didn't come back, and I still died." There's a note of bitterness in her voice, but not directed at you. A fleck of white-hot liquid drips from the Soul Gem still sitting on the floor. At first glance, it looks almost like the gem is melting.

"That's not true." you say once again. "You're alive. You can still come back. Mami wants to see you again."

The rolling heat that had been beating down on you abates, but only for a second. You push yourself in front of Mami as a flash of light signals an eruption of flame that spills forth. Across the room, Angela casually raises a hand before the rising explosion. Something appears in front of her, a shield of some sort, but the fire blocks your view before you can pinpoint exactly what. When the fire fades, Kyoko's Soul Gem has completely vanished beneath the molten glass already cooling on the ground.

Gebura casts a glance towards you, one hand open and extended in a familiar pose. You shake your head slightly, and she steps back and returns to a ready position. You still have this under control.

"She told me, you know? When I was trapped by that… thing." Kyoko mutters. The bite is gone from her voice, leaving only a bitter acceptance. "When it promised that it would stay with her. She was alone for years. I hurt her, I hurt the only person left in the world who gave a damn about me. Everyone else left her, too. Nobody else stood by her side, nobody except the fucking rat." Kyoko spits, anger once more filler her words. "After everything she did for me, I wasn't any better. Do you know why I left? It's 'cause I wasn't good enough. I was dragging her down. I couldn't hunt as well as she could, and with her killing Familiars before they could grow there weren't enough Witches to support both of us. She was going to kill herself for me, and neither of us even knew it. So I left." She lets out a wet, choked laugh that quickly falls into a fit of coughs. The shape of a torso has started to rise from the glassy pool, still a burning white. "Guess I fucked it up again, didn't I? And of course, I wasn't the one to suffer for it. Never am."

"Is that really what you want, then?"

"It's what I deserve. If I were stronger, if I'd made better decisions, then… well, who knows?"

And what about Mami? Does she deserve to lose you again?

She's strong, she'll be alright. Besides, you'll be there for her, won't you? You're strong enough to stand with her.

And yet, in case you forgot, I needed your help to save her.

...

I'm not asking for you to give up on anything you've just told me, not now. But I am asking you to be here for Mami. Can you do that for her?

I…

I can do it.


—————————

Light erupts through the room, and for a second you can feel your skin burning. Just as quickly, the feeling vanishes. The radiance dims, leaving only the scattered motes trailing through the air. You stare in anticipation as the embers fade, revealing Kyoko's new form.

Distortions do not typically look human. You are well aware of this. Homura's appearance was by all accounts a fluke, and even then without the disguise there are many discrepancies that make her nature clear. You had believed your expectations were properly tempered.

It's strange, seeing the ways Kyoko's body is still recognizable as hers even as it breaks away from human. Her "flesh" is a dull red glass, cracks separating different shades across her body. At each joint, the glass has melted to allow for movement while inexplicably retaining its form perfectly. Kyoko's upper body still wears her Magical Girl outfit, or at least some approximation of it. A maroon-red hood has been added, concealing the delicate ruby threads that form Kyoko's hair and hiding the shattered, melted mess of her face in shadow. Several scorched weapons pierce her back, the most notable a long black stake run through the place the girl's heart should be. You can clearly see into Kyoko's body through the tinted glass, revealing a network of pulsing flames within her that resembles something between nerves and veins. Your gaze follows down past her waist, where the humanoid resemblance vanishes. Where a regular person would have legs, an equine body has seamlessly fused from its neck to Kyoko's waist, making her into a creature resembling a centaur. The makeup of her body remains the same in this lower half, the only notable equipment you can see on her being large horseshoes in the shape of candleholders. Kyoko takes an unsteady step forward, the false wood floor scorching under her hooves. She extends her hands out in front of her, testing the limits of her new body.

I guess you weren't kidding when you said you were gonna heal me. Bit of an understatement, though. Despite her casual words, Kyoko's voice is as shaky and unsteady as she is. She paws back and forth, trying to adjust to suddenly having four legs instead of two.

She doesn't get any more time to explore her new form. Content with the process' completion, Angela raises one of the books she brought with her. Rings of crackling golden light flash into being around the newly-formed Distortion before collapsing in on her, vanishing in a burst of sparks that fall away to reveal Kyoko Sakura, completely unchanged.

That's as far as Mami's patience can go. Your daughter rushes forwards, throwing her arms around her sister and nearly sending her to the ground.

"Kyoko! I missed you so much, and I- X said you would be okay, but- you were just- and I was-" Her babbling cuts off all of a sudden, and Mami's embrace tightens for just a moment. "I was afraid I would never see you again."

As if in disbelief as to what's happening, Kyoko slowly puts her arms around Mami in return. Her voice is stammering and unconfident, but that seems unimportant compared to the truth of the matter. "I- I missed you too. Guess I owe it to you to stick around for a while, yeah?"

Last Matters
[] Explanations
[] Long-term plans involving the Library
[] Just leave
[] Write-in


———————————————

Der Freischütz's Sapling - Observation Level 2/3
Porccubus' Sapling - Observation Level 2/3
Well, that could've gone much worse. If there's anything you believe you should tell Mami and Kyoko right now, or anything else you wish to do with Angela, now's the time. Otherwise, we will just continue as we are.
 
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Observation: Mosaic of Prometheus
Mosaic of Prometheus

The Distortion manifested by Kyoko Sakura. A being of fiery passion and enthusiasm protected by a cracked glass shell that tints the world. Fueled by feelings of self-loathing and inferiority, but in turn easily motivated to any action perceived as recompense for a sin they have committed. -ta-—b——-b—-t— Mark of Qliphoth.

Shimmering: A trait universal to Distortions, although its exact degree varies from individual to individual. Distortions do not tire except under specific circumstances, do not age, and can survive injuries that should ordinarily be fatal. Additionally, abilities that would affect a Distortion's biology or psychology almost universally fail due to them being too unnatural and alien to the principles on which such abilities rely.

Glass Flesh: The Mosaic's real body is the network of nerve-like flames that run through her body, with the glass frame around them easily repaired if it is ever damaged. This frame is unnaturally durable and resists physical harm.

Damage to their outer body causes the Mosaic to "bleed" fire, which retains the spark of life that animates the Abnormality and can act independently. This living fire will eventually be reabsorbed, healing the Mosaic's injuries. Similarly, the Mosaic of Prometheus can absorb or otherwise convert any flames or high temperatures around them to produce weapons or other physical constructs.

Saintless Pyre: As a consequence of a deep, burning guilt, the Mosaic of Prometheus is eternally set alight. Because the price for her failures has always been paid by others, the Abnormality's flames do not burn them. Instead, that damage is reflected onto everything around the Mosaic. This burning is not limited by distance, but instead by what is considered the "area" the Mosaic resides in. If they are within a small area, the burning will be restricted to that area, while outdoors the burning effect can reach across entire cities. The more distributed this reflected damage is, the less it impacts each individual thing. The effects of Saintless Pyre can burn even things that do not normally burn, such as water or air.

This ability can be actively suppressed.

Rosso Fantasma: A power birthed from good intentions that wrought destruction, strengthened by burning guilt. The Mosaic can create humanoid or semi-humanoid illusions with perfect detail within a moderate range. These illusions are controlled and adjusted manually, and are actual creations instead of being purely psychological. Each illusion is fragile and can be dispersed by sufficient force, but multiple layered illusions must be destroyed separately.

Mark of Qliphoth - Tagimron: ???
 
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