1.6.14 - With All My Heart
Lepidoptera
Mother of Monsters, Unverified Impuritas Civitatis
- Location
- Indeterminate Unknown
Chapter 77 - With All My Heart
"You've already put the pieces together, haven't you?" you say with an air of reassurance you don't feel and resignation that you definitely do.
"Yes," Angela sighs, "However I would prefer we just be straightforward instead of speaking empty words to one another."
Well, not much you can say in response to that. Angela's been polite, if a bit awkward so far. She managed to patch you up and reform your old seal. Above all else, she knows what you've been through better than anyone else in the world. She's family. You can trust that she won't react badly to knowing what happened to you.
Or at the very least, you can trust that it won't make things any more awkward and uncomfortable than they already are.
"It happened some time when I was dissolved in the Light. Still not certain about the specifics, but if Mom and Dad are apparently still around then they might know more. But yes, I got turned into an Abnormality."
Angela doesn't say anything for a long time. At least, a long time for the two of you. You can usually react to these sorts of situations quickly enough, and Angela has a bit of an advantage in that regard. Even so, the uncomfortable silence returns and once again fills the room.
"I'm sorry."
You blink. "Sorry? Why? This isn't your fault."
Angela shakes her head. "I interfered with the distribution of the Seed of Light. It is very well possible I am responsible for your loss of your humanity. I cannot-" her voice shakes, but the uncertainty is quickly stilled by a fierce resolution. A cold, steady determination that is so very distant from the detached, uncaring Angela in your memories. "-I cannot turn my eyes from the consequences of my actions. Not anymore."
"While I am very reluctant to argue against that sentiment, this really isn't your fault." you answer. "I accepted becoming a part of the Seed of Light, and nobody could've known what was going to happen afterwards. I expected to just… stop, you know? That would be it, job's done. But for whatever reason, that's not what happened, and I couldn't be happier. If I have to live as an Abnormality, it's still far better than not living at all."
You lapse once more into pause, but this time is not nearly as uncomfortable as before. A contemplative silence while the two of you sort out your feelings. Today really has been exhausting, hasn't it? Unfortunately, you do not have the time to parse your thoughts. There's still more you need to say.
"I expected you to have more of a… reaction to me telling you I'm an Abnormality." you admit. "The few I've told already knew me first, and I don't think they really understand how dangerous Abnormalities really are. Not that I don't appreciate it, but it's a bit surprising to have us still sitting here after."
"As you said, I had already figured out what you are now." Angela reminds you. "This was only a matter of if you were willing to confirm it. I was rather shocked at first, but I have never had anything to fear from Abnormalities. Besides, I certainly knew you long before anyone else, Manager."
"Heh." You laugh. It's a strained, choked noise. You don't laugh very often. Neither did Ayin. Your sister was the first person to greet each of your iterations. "Fair enough. Although there's no reason for you to call me Manager anymore."
Your sister gives you a curious look.
"It's a title for a job that no longer exists. Not explicitly, anyways. Just call me X. It's not really a proper name, but it's already been decided on."
"X, then." Angela tests the name, staring contemplatively into the distance for the barest moment before snapping back to focus. "The Library will always have a place for you, although I'll need to get you a proper uniform at some point in the future."
You glance down at your clothes. You hadn't really noticed, with everything that's happened, but you're no longer wearing your old coat. It's been replaced by a deep purple jacket, faint white flower patterns nearly identical to those on Angela's dress lining the bottom. "Actually, I could get used to this. A little wardrobe variety might be nice."
Angela sighs, but not unhappily. This conversation has been a lot more pleasant than you had expected. It's a shame you're on a timer here. The two of you have a lot to catch up on.
You can feel the clinging flow of time grow thicker around you. That time you have here is running out. Angela notices it as well, from the way she stiffens. It seems your reunion will be cut short.
"Well, it seems I'll be taken back soon. I'd better prepare myself so things go better this time." Your words have two meanings. It's not just the fight with Nothing There you've been given a second chance for. You had hoped long ago that the Seed of Light would make a better world, a world where people wouldn't need you to hold them together and keep them safe. Maybe that was a silly thing to hope for, so far out of reach. But even if things haven't gone perfectly, they have gone better. And better is all you can really ask for sometimes.
"I recall you mentioned that those containers were retrieved from Nothing There." Angela says, gesturing to the tray of Soul Gems. "However, Nothing There has not yet been returned to the Library. Am I correct in assuming you are about to fight one of the most dangerous Abnormalities we have kept after having barely recovered from being grievously injured?"
Her tone is familiar, the same mocking note she so often used in the Corporation when you made a decision she felt was foolish or unprofitable, but somehow now without malice. Admittedly, when phrased like that, it does sound like an absolutely terrible idea.
"Don't worry; I've got a plan. Everything is going to go fine."
"Honestly Ma- X, you do the craziest things sometimes."
———————————————
Big Bird's Sapling - Observation Level 3/3
Punishing Bird's Sapling - Observation Level 2/2
Der Freischütz's Sapling - Observation Level 2/3
Porccubus' Sapling - Observation Level 2/3
Next chapter will be the last one of the Act, with perhaps an epilogue to get an idea of where everyone is before we move into the second Act. As such, there may be a delay between this chapter and the next one.
"You've already put the pieces together, haven't you?" you say with an air of reassurance you don't feel and resignation that you definitely do.
"Yes," Angela sighs, "However I would prefer we just be straightforward instead of speaking empty words to one another."
Well, not much you can say in response to that. Angela's been polite, if a bit awkward so far. She managed to patch you up and reform your old seal. Above all else, she knows what you've been through better than anyone else in the world. She's family. You can trust that she won't react badly to knowing what happened to you.
Or at the very least, you can trust that it won't make things any more awkward and uncomfortable than they already are.
"It happened some time when I was dissolved in the Light. Still not certain about the specifics, but if Mom and Dad are apparently still around then they might know more. But yes, I got turned into an Abnormality."
Angela doesn't say anything for a long time. At least, a long time for the two of you. You can usually react to these sorts of situations quickly enough, and Angela has a bit of an advantage in that regard. Even so, the uncomfortable silence returns and once again fills the room.
"I'm sorry."
You blink. "Sorry? Why? This isn't your fault."
Angela shakes her head. "I interfered with the distribution of the Seed of Light. It is very well possible I am responsible for your loss of your humanity. I cannot-" her voice shakes, but the uncertainty is quickly stilled by a fierce resolution. A cold, steady determination that is so very distant from the detached, uncaring Angela in your memories. "-I cannot turn my eyes from the consequences of my actions. Not anymore."
"While I am very reluctant to argue against that sentiment, this really isn't your fault." you answer. "I accepted becoming a part of the Seed of Light, and nobody could've known what was going to happen afterwards. I expected to just… stop, you know? That would be it, job's done. But for whatever reason, that's not what happened, and I couldn't be happier. If I have to live as an Abnormality, it's still far better than not living at all."
You lapse once more into pause, but this time is not nearly as uncomfortable as before. A contemplative silence while the two of you sort out your feelings. Today really has been exhausting, hasn't it? Unfortunately, you do not have the time to parse your thoughts. There's still more you need to say.
"I expected you to have more of a… reaction to me telling you I'm an Abnormality." you admit. "The few I've told already knew me first, and I don't think they really understand how dangerous Abnormalities really are. Not that I don't appreciate it, but it's a bit surprising to have us still sitting here after."
"As you said, I had already figured out what you are now." Angela reminds you. "This was only a matter of if you were willing to confirm it. I was rather shocked at first, but I have never had anything to fear from Abnormalities. Besides, I certainly knew you long before anyone else, Manager."
"Heh." You laugh. It's a strained, choked noise. You don't laugh very often. Neither did Ayin. Your sister was the first person to greet each of your iterations. "Fair enough. Although there's no reason for you to call me Manager anymore."
Your sister gives you a curious look.
"It's a title for a job that no longer exists. Not explicitly, anyways. Just call me X. It's not really a proper name, but it's already been decided on."
"X, then." Angela tests the name, staring contemplatively into the distance for the barest moment before snapping back to focus. "The Library will always have a place for you, although I'll need to get you a proper uniform at some point in the future."
You glance down at your clothes. You hadn't really noticed, with everything that's happened, but you're no longer wearing your old coat. It's been replaced by a deep purple jacket, faint white flower patterns nearly identical to those on Angela's dress lining the bottom. "Actually, I could get used to this. A little wardrobe variety might be nice."
Angela sighs, but not unhappily. This conversation has been a lot more pleasant than you had expected. It's a shame you're on a timer here. The two of you have a lot to catch up on.
You can feel the clinging flow of time grow thicker around you. That time you have here is running out. Angela notices it as well, from the way she stiffens. It seems your reunion will be cut short.
"Well, it seems I'll be taken back soon. I'd better prepare myself so things go better this time." Your words have two meanings. It's not just the fight with Nothing There you've been given a second chance for. You had hoped long ago that the Seed of Light would make a better world, a world where people wouldn't need you to hold them together and keep them safe. Maybe that was a silly thing to hope for, so far out of reach. But even if things haven't gone perfectly, they have gone better. And better is all you can really ask for sometimes.
"I recall you mentioned that those containers were retrieved from Nothing There." Angela says, gesturing to the tray of Soul Gems. "However, Nothing There has not yet been returned to the Library. Am I correct in assuming you are about to fight one of the most dangerous Abnormalities we have kept after having barely recovered from being grievously injured?"
Her tone is familiar, the same mocking note she so often used in the Corporation when you made a decision she felt was foolish or unprofitable, but somehow now without malice. Admittedly, when phrased like that, it does sound like an absolutely terrible idea.
"Don't worry; I've got a plan. Everything is going to go fine."
"Honestly Ma- X, you do the craziest things sometimes."
———————————————
Big Bird's Sapling - Observation Level 3/3
Punishing Bird's Sapling - Observation Level 2/2
Der Freischütz's Sapling - Observation Level 2/3
Porccubus' Sapling - Observation Level 2/3
Next chapter will be the last one of the Act, with perhaps an epilogue to get an idea of where everyone is before we move into the second Act. As such, there may be a delay between this chapter and the next one.
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