A Hellfish flys again! ( a Simpsons X DVV CK2 Quest)

AN:

Here we go, guys - the maybe-long-awaited sequel to "Wherefore art thou, Candace" and second installment of what I decided to dub the "Living Dead Girl" cycle centering around Candace Flynns entry into and journey through the hidden world of vampirism.

As you can probably see, while building up the mechanics behind my approach to Vampirism I took a lot of insipiration from how it works over at White Wolf´s TTRPGs Vampire: the Masquerade as well as Vampire: the Requiem to a lesser extent - although I did sanitize some of the more inherently toxic bits to comply with Gridlocked´s RELATIVELY more wholesome verse...hope you guys continue enjoying my writing

GONG!...

After having been greeted so gravely by the goth store´s sepulchral door bell, the three teens glanced at each other in utter bewilderment, until Stacy couldn't help herself any longer but to quip:

"Welp, got that one only a third right, Mr. Death Knell"

This swiftly earned a surprisingly strong dope-slap to the head by her flustered bestie.

"Um, Stacy?," Jeremy interjected with uncharacteristic worry, "Maybe we should `keep a low profile´ about certain things until we know more..just saying, you know?"

"What do you even mean by `a third right´ anyway, normie?"

Startled by the intrusion, both humans seized up (with Candace thankfully being able to prevent herself from hissing instinctively again) before laying eyes on the sole, boring-looking store clerk.

"Um…I am dead inside, you see?," the Asian girl quickly tried covering her verbal flub, only for his face to somehow get even more dead-pan in response.

"Nice try, normie, but I know what your brunette friend truly is - so you wanna know more about her new nature? Alright, follow me, please."

With that, Stacy and Jeremy hesitated a moment before starting to follow the clerk through the store with some distance between them, only to stop again almost immediately after not hearing another set of footsteps following them. Upon turning her head, Stacy saw Candace standing there slightly hunched over with a snarl beginning to form on her face, while glaring daggers at the clerk and keeping her fists clenched.

Quickly and without an ounce of fear, Stacy approached her bestie.

"You okay there, sistah? Something bothering your other side?"

After taking a deep breath, Candace looked at her with fearful-yet-human-again red eyes before nodding, "It's telling me not to trust him, Stace - he smells kinda like I feel right now and I…I don't want you two to get hurt or worse because of me…"

Before either of the two girls knew, Stacy gently took Candace´s hand and started squeezing it while trying to ignore the confusingly pleasant shiver piercing the cold radiating from her bestie and shooting up into her own body.

"It's okay, Candace…nothing bad is gonna happen to us - and even if that guy or anyone else is trying something funny, we got a badass vampire in our corner protecting us now, amirite?"

That did the trick and with a straightening of her posture, Candace Flynn flashed her a thankful smile (the subtle eagerness of which made Stacy feel warm in a not-at-all-unpleasant way for a moment) before replying.

"You betcha I am! Now let's go already!"

With everything said and done, the three teens (with Jeremy silently nodding to Stacy to closely flank her common friend as non-verbal reassurance) resumed following the clerk to an "employees only" door next the counter where he proceeded to press a button next to an intercom.

Duun, duun, du-duun, duun, du-duun du-duun du-duun…

Well, Stacy snarked mentally while rolling her eyes, at least they stick to their guns about the doom and gloom of their business, I guess…

A few moments later, the speaker came to life with some muffled cursing hearable before a low, somewhat "growly" voice could be heard.

"What is it, Trip? I only just started to nod off and your calling made me bang my head against the damn li-I mean ROOF - still hurts despite everything, you know?"

"It's the Fledgling I told you about a few days ago, milord - she just came seeking knowledge about herself with two Normies in tow…looks like they are two Anchors of hers and they seem sturdy enough to calm down a paranoid Beast as well,"

Anchors? I mean, we DO have something of a maritime theme going on, but calling me and Jer "anchors" feels like a bit much…

"How often do I have to tell you to not use those kinda words in the open,Taylor? Next thing we know, someone high up comes rearranging the furniture because they caught wind of `my kind´ being here and decided to dislike that enough to take the heat from stirring up shit on Doofenshmirtz´ turf…anyway, just ask ´em in already, okay?"

"Will do, sire," Taylor drawled before turning to his impromptu audience, "Just get down the stairs immediately to your right and then walk down the floor and knock at the door marked `Outdated Merchandise´ - Lord Ajaba will fill you three in on everything."

Nodding their erstwhile guide adieu, the teens did as they had been told and all too soon stood before the mentioned door which immediately got unlocked noisily and opened deliberately slowly with a stereotypically ominous creeeeaaaaak…

Stacy didn´t know what the three teens expected when they entered the room, but it probably wasn´t the unholy amalgamation of an utterly packed storage room and a somewhat cozy living room they now found themselves in - if anything, the somewhat haphazard arrangement of two couches facing each other with a coffee table in the absolute middle of the room and a computer desk at the other end (being flanked by a fridge on *each side* of all things) while being surrounded by shelves containing all kinds of "goth-y" tchotchkes lining the walls reminded Stacy of something she simply couldn't put her finger on. Luckily for her, Jeremy seemed to have the same basic thought.

"Dang, it looks just like the survivor camps from that one fake "creepy story" about a neverending furniture store, right?"

"You´re not wrong, I admit - though at least I am not one of those freakish `employees´"

Hearing that voice reminded the teens that they weren't alone.

Lounging on the left couch, the gray-furred and red-eyed vampire anthro greeting them (Stacy at least wanted to say "canine", but that sounded wrong for some reason) was clothed in a fittingly "goth-y" attire for the most part.

Wearing black pants, boots and a shirt with purple linings as well as a red belt, his similarly-colored duster that was outfitted with a red sash hung off his shoulders like a cape, because of which his surprisingly toned arms were emphasized as he crossed them in waiting. A black flat cap sitting a bit askew on his blonde-haired head completed the attire despite looking a bit out of place.

"Please," he said jovially while motioning towards the opposite couch (seemingly not realizing that by doing so, his impromptu `coat cape´ fell off his shoulders), "take a seat, you three".

The three teens looked at each other for a moment before Stacy nodded at Jeremy and the two quickly sat down, only to do a collective double-take when they saw that Candace hadn't moved aside from putting herself right between them and their current host without anyone - possibly including herself - noticing until now.

Great, Stacy groused mentally, as her bestie continued fixating the Anthro with obvious guarded hostility, she´s triggered again already? We really need to help her `other side´ to relax somehow before things go out of hand.

Probably thinking the same, Jeremy then gently called out.

"Candace? My love, it's okay - we´re just here to talk with him…no need to get worried."

This seemed to shake their friend out of her stupor-like state and with some repeated rapid blinking, Candace finally sat down between the two humans as well (though not without some evident struggling to take her eyes off the…feline? Stacy found herself utterly stumped trying to categorize the person before them).

Obviously ashamed of herself for slipping up once more, Candace sheepishly offered an apology.

"I´m sorry, Mister - it's just that…"

Surprisingly enough, this only made him chuckle.

"Don't worry, young Neophyte - if anything, you´re doing pretty well for a young vampire who seems to have just kinda stumbled into this existence without your Sire guiding you and now has to face off against some weird quote-unquote `Elder´ with her Anchors in tow. Anyway, just call me `Lord Ajaba´- hella pretentious, I know, but my actual name…let's just say for now that using it would drag up some REALLY BAD memories. So, what can this old, washed-up Spotted Hyena do for you guys as your liaison with the Commune to make things easier?"

"...maybe explain all these weird words to us? Pretty hard for us to make do when everyone just throws a thesaurus at us you know?" Stacy couldn´t stop herself from quipping.

Blinking in confusion of his own, `Lord Ajaba´ then groaned and with a resounding facepalm, he started to explain.

"Great job putting the entire friggin stable before the cart, you halfwit…Yeah, that's kinda on Trip and me, huh? So yeah, let's see…OH!", he suddenly snapped his fingers as some kind of realization seemed to strike him, "before I get to the actual terminology, a word of caution to you three: do NOT run your mouths about that sorta stuff in public like Trip did! I really don't mind him caring for me here, but it wouldn't hurt him to take our situation seriously every now and then…"

While the teens were at first floored at this order, Stacy quickly nodded while glancing at Candace.

"Honestly, it makes sense…Think about it, sistah: None of us ever heard so much as a peep about vampires before you got turned into one, so there's obviously some kind of hush-hush business about them going on. I mean, doesn´t the government keep a lid on the Supes `supering around´ ever again as well? So it´d make sense for the Feds to keep stuff like Vampires under the radar as well and wouldn't like you guys mucking about much - What? It's elementary logic, dear Candace!"

"Woooaaah", she heard her bestie breathe out in amazement at her little stint at sleuthing, "with that kinda brainpower, I wish you'd been Holmes back when we did that gig back in London ages ago, Stace!"

Judging by his eager clapping as well as his slow nods, Lord Ajaba agreed.

"Gotta say, Candace, your friend´s right on the money there as to the `why´ - you two ever thought about being a proper team some time?"

At all this praise from both some guy and especially her life-long friend who was currently patting her shoulder proudly, Stacy suddenly felt very warm and flustered. Luckily, Candace too seemed to be a bit uncomfortable and so prevented her bestie from dying out of embarrassment by stuttering her own reply.

"Wha-um…I mean…we´re just good friends who do some silly impromptu stuff together every now, nothing more - that and I am already in a committed relationship with Jeremy here, you see?"

"It's okay, love", her friend´s beau chuckled gently, yet Stacy could swear there was a strangely knowing look towards them both in his soft eyes,"pretty sure Ajaba didn´t mean anything like that by it."

"God, no - damn, I really suck tail at people-ing right now, do I?" their host replied ashamedly,while pinching his snout/nose in frustration. "But yes, that's basically the reason why you guys should not publicly discuss stuff like vampires or other Magicals - yes, those exist in the shadows as well, but us and them don't associate much for the most part to not make Uncle Sam too twitchy, you know? Anyways, on we go with some terminology."

"Sooo…`Normie´ is just Taylors word for non-magical folks, just like `Lord´ is his way of ribbing me by implying I have any kind of power over Danville on account of having been the one vampire living here until you came along. Now, the Commune is basically just a loose support group of Vampires keeping in touch across the globe via secretish forums, chat rooms and whatnot on the internet who try to codify everything we know about our condition and just generally be there for each other, such as keeping around Anchors - living beings and especially other people like your two friends who know what we really are and who keep us `tethered´ to our better natures. Speaking of `everything we know about us´ though, we don't even know where the hell we as a `species´ come from in the first friggin place although there are some *theories* at least - so there's that. Anyway, we decided to refer to any vampire who created another as their Sire, while the other bloodsucker is called their `Childe´ - and yes," Ajaba stressed upon seeing their confused looks on account of his weird pronunciation, "that´s *childe* with an E at the end - something about `chivalric nomenclature´ or similar crap. So, after those terms had been hammered down, people went to talk about the apparent `stages´of our existence. Basically, a `Fledgeling´ is a newborn vampire who has yet to drink human blood, while a `Neophyte´ got that box ticked off already. After that, there's no real term coined yet for younger vampires until you get to so-called `Elders´ like me who are commonly trusted enough to take over certain duties like tutoring the younglings on account of having lived in this undead state for at least a whole average mortal lifetime…as if that by itself got anything to do with `experience´ and `capabilities´…

"...how old are you, if I may ask?" Candace asked hesitatingly, which made her current tutor sigh.

"Admittedly, it's been getting harder to count the actual years these days, but I got Turned in my mid-to-late twenties during the power struggles between the different political wings in the First Internationale back in the 1870s…so yeah, I´ve been `around the block´ for a while now. Mainly I just drifted around until settling down in Zootopia for a bit, only to having to jump ship again when things started really heating up between Preds and Prey in the wake of Lionheart getting busted for his shady stuff and that dumb bunny spouting some speciesist crap on live TV. So, when Doofenshmirtz started banging the drums about welcoming everyone in `Doofania´, I took my chances and decided to hunker down here for now at least. Anyways, did I forget something? Ah yes, the `Beast´ - so yeah, basically-"

"I know," Candace interrupted him with obvious fear and renewed self-loathing, making Stacy shake her head awake again after admittedly having drifted off a bit from all this information, "it's that evil, demonic thing lurking in the depths of my mind now that's trying to twist me into a soulless fiend hellbent on destroying everything I once held dear if given even half a chance - helping me to prevent that from happening is what `Anchors´ like Jer and Stace are there for, right?"

-SPLAT!-

"NO."

Startled at the force behind Ajabas exclamation, the teens at first did not realize what just happened, until Stacy heard Candace shriek in alarm and saw that her bestie´s face looked as if someone had flung a small blood-filled water balloon at her face.

"..what--?" was all the vampire teen could croak while freezing up, as the blood staining her head rapidly curdled up into flakes and then vanished.

"Among other things, the `vampire magic´ granted to me by my Archetype allows me to fling some blood from my `nourishment pool´ as a projectile - don't worry," the older vampire preempted their next question with a raised hand, "I´ll get to that in due time, but first I have to say one thing: You, dear Candace, got an extremely wrong and self-destructive idea of what the Beast even IS in the first place, nevermind what it NEEDS from you, but thanks to you having to play it by ear without your Sire to guide you, I really shouldn't be surprised. So, let me make it clear for you - yes, the Beast wants you to continue feeding from mortals and yes, there is a real chance of it causing you to devolve into something monstrous if you mess up badly enough, but it's NOT in fact malicious or evil - depending on your definition of the term, the Beast might not even be unnatural, strictly speaking."

Before anyone could take offense at that claim, Ajaba continued.

"First things first - while it just feels great and even potentially `intoxicating´ so to speak, in the end drinking blood is simply a genuine biological need for us vampires and without getting any, we´d starve first to insanity and then death. You'd think that in such moments it´d feel like something that isn't you has `taken you over´ and is `puppeteering you around to slake its horrible desires´, but that's not true - those are simply more primal and instinct-driven parts of you that most people don't even realize that they have them in the first place. Back in his day, that Freud bloke came to collectively call these parts the `id´ of his psychological structure model and determined that they were `in charge´ of your hedonistic, short-sighted desires for pleasure and survival…you get it now?," he smirked as Stacy and her two friends started to realize what the Elder was getting at, "THAT's what the `Beast´ actually is - just your old human survival and pleasure-seeking instincts given a bigger, more direct say in how to conduct yourself. The Commune doesn´t really know why it's that way for us, but there are two leading theories - either it's because the Turning essentially kills, then revives you in short order and so it leaves your id permanently twitchy and desperate to an extent or it's because the ids´ overseeing of both Life and Death Drives simply `gels well´ with our undead nature."

"Nevermind all that `how and why´," Candace blurted out, while Stacy smirked at her bestie since things were no longer looking so unknowably hostile anymore, "are you really telling me that I just need to keep myself `topped off´ with blood and everything will be fine?"

"I wish it were be that easy, Neophyte, but unfortunately that's where the Beast´s tendency to think only about short-term gratification as well to things adhering to the old adage of `too much of a good thing´ for us even more come in to crash the party that is our undying existence. As you know already, feeding feels really, really good for both the Vampire and the…let´s go with `Mortal´, okay? That's because of dopamines getting released from both our bodies to reinforce that mutually beneficial behavior as a way to live together. Problem with that is that people have developed to a point where it's relatively easy to overindulge and kinda lose themselves in the sensation. I am not saying that one little snack on the wayside every now and then is enough to doom you for `life´ or anything that dour - if anything, doing that with your Anchors in a reasonable manner is a very good way to stay tethered to your `humanity´. But as with pretty much everything in this world, you and your friends gotta know your damn limits and STOP while you´re ahead."

Suddenly blanching upon recognizing that particular turn of phrase, Stacy croaked out while silently reevaluating some of her thoughts towards Candace´s state, "...are you implying that Jer and I could get addicted to Candace feeding from us? Seriously, couldn´t you have mentioned that one a bit earlier? Not that I am second-guessing my devotion to her- I MEAN our friendship, but…"

"Woah-woah-woah! Hold your horses! I know this sounds bad right now, but as long as you guys aren't already heading down a seriously toxically co-dependent relationship solely revolving around getting the next high and instead take measures to keep everything nicely balanced out, everything will be fine for the most part - especially since unless you really splurge with your Vampire Powers, simply keeping yourself nourished actually doesn´t take that much blood. Speaking of which," Ajaba spoke out while starting to reach out to the fridge on his side of the arrangement, "while having some Anchors to take care of your Thirst legitimately is pretty solid on its own, since you can't always `go necking around´ with them, you might wanna have a stash of fallback blood stored away just in case - you could either buy it from abattoirs or do it like me and profit from Danville´s super-productive blood-drives after Doofenshmirtz ran that `Doofanian Patriotism Effort´ campaign a while back."

With that, he opened up the fridge´s door, revealing the interior to be absolutely CRAMMED FULL with blood packs of all types, although some of them that were marked with the initials "HC" written on them had been put in there separately from the rest in the top shelf with far more obvious care than the rest, curiously enough.

"...how the hell did you get your hand on that many blood bags?", Candace exclaimed in bafflement, while Stacy could see her struggle internally a bit to not lunge at those tasty treats despite just having had her notably silent boyfriend for a willing meal, "Pretty sure our hospitals are gonna miss those eventually."

"Naah, no chance of that happening any time soon - when I said that the drives were super-productive, I meant it. Seriously, the hospitals have been raking in such an insane `turnover´ in bags over the last few months that those are in danger of going bad and having to be thrown out, so if anything, me and now you as well are doing them a favor by reducing their waste a bit. As for how I got them…", Ajaba hesitated for a second while scratching his neck awkwardly, "that's actually a bit of a long story."

"And what a story it is…", a new voice suddenly breathed out, making everyone already present twitch instinctively and their vampire host gasped on top of everything upon seeing the "intruder" appearing from a door on the far end of the room to the side. Before Stacy could assess their identity past a set of long blonde hair as well as a very feminine figure (even beating out her bestie´s own, recently-upgraded form by a bit) though, Ajaba all but lunged at the woman and squeezed her tightly to his body, which only highlighted how the Elder was towering over all the other assembled people.

""What are you doing here, honey- I mean HOLLY? You shoulda called ahead so that I could set up things properly and all…"

Giggling and completely unafraid at being tackled by the vampire, the now-named Holly replied, "I wanted to surprise you, silly vampire yeen - calling ahead would have ruined that, wouldn´t it? Now, what-"

"Dr. Cahill?!" Candace blurted flabbergasted out upon recognizing the woman ahead of her friends as her own doctor, "you know him and even that he's a vampire? Care to explain?"

Apparently the two remembered that they had company, because they hastily separated and coughed awkwardly.After that, the female doctor started with an embarrassed smile.

"Sorry to pretend otherwise, Candace, but Jabby here probably already told you that the existence of vampires is meant to be a secret, so I had to covertly nudge you towards figuring it out yourself instead. As for how he and I met - long story short, a few months ago, our cars crashed into each other on the road outside town and because I got hurt rather badly, he had to Imbue me to save me…and honestly? I don't really regret it one bit if I got to meet this big floof here…". Closing her brief explanation, she squeezed Ajaba who groaned flusteredly.

"Hollyyyy, I kinda wanted to wait a bit before explaining stuff like Imbuement to her and her two Anchors - oh well, I´ll just get to it now and you can pipe in for the more medical-adjacent stuff like strengths and weaknesses if you want?"

"Sounds good, Jabby"

For a second, the Elder seemed to shudder with a strangely pleasant expression on his face before elucidating. "So, basically Imbuement is just a Mortal drinking a Vampire´s blood instead of the other way around as is customary. That way, for one to two months tops the Mortal gains some limited vampiric boosts to their physical abilities, like getting stronger, faster and of course faster healing. The Vampire on the other hand at the same time gets `more mortal-ish´, meaning stuff like our complexion and eyes getting more lively, the Beast quieting down overall and of course us being able to stomach mortal food again without having to gag at it tasting off. All pretty nifty, especially since normally we would have to expend some of our blood reserves to Mask ourselves - more on that in a bit - but as genuinely nice as it feels, Imbuement still comes with its drawbacks. For one, us feeding Mortal our own Blood of course starves us out a bit, so we have to pace ourselves before doing that. Other than that…well Imbuement just so happens to cause a weird sort of `emotional amplification´ between the two parties, meaning that their true feelings for each other - both good and bad - are pushed to the forefront and amplified. So unless you really have to do it to save someone's life like I did with Holly here, don't just hand out Imbuements like friggin candy to people you aren't sure about, okay?"

"Not planning on it, no" Candace replied with a worried nod, while Stacy had to really force her to not think about how good such an Imbuement from her bel-..bestie might feel, "but speaking of vampiric abilities: I already figured out that I am a bit faster, stronger, more resistant against harm and heal faster than before…anything else I need to know like that `Archetype´business you mentioned? What about weaknesses? Do I need to avoid bible-thumpers even more than before from now on?"

"Not on average, no - most `classical´ vampire weaknesses like mirrors, running water and the like only start being a problem once you really start descending into inhumanity or if you belong to a particular Archetype - only sunlight and fire are an actual nuisance from the start and get worse the more explicitly Beastly you become. As for holy stuff? That's normally a dud at first too, but there are some select people whose belief is so fervent, pure and genuine that they are able to manifest something we call True Faith and hurt you really badly just by making religious gestures at you - so best tread lightly around `men of the cloth´ until you are certain where they fall. But the average rabid tv evangelist? Pfah, those types are friggin phoney, one and all. So yeah, that's the short and skinny about innate physical vampire traits, I think."

"Not quite, Jabby" Dr. Cahill interjected, sighing fondly at `her´ Vampire´s apparent denseness, "haven't you forgotten to give a few more pointers to give to dear Candace about her body?"

At first, Ajaba looked at her with his head tilted in absolute confusion, only to facepalm in frustrated understanding when she started pointedly picking at her own human canines with her long fingernails.

"Damn, I almost forgot about that one - thanks for reminding me, honey….sooooo, moving on, don't even think about something stupid like filing down your fangs and claws to blend in with Mortals, Neophyte - the only thing that´ll achieve is your healing going into overdrive and depleting your blood reserves like crazy, which makes for one CRANKY Beast, lemme tell you. No, for hiding your `feeding implements´ you can just retract them with some simple muscle movements - go on, try it!"

With that, Stacy and Jeremy had to keep themselves from chuckling at how goofy Candace looked while making all sorts of funny faces in trying to get a hang of her new muscles. Ultimately though, she succeeded and her fangs as well as claws slowly drew back into her body before she released them into the open again.

"You see? Neat little trick that doesn´t even drain you, so you can do it whenever you want or need to. Speaking of `cranky Beasts´ though, before I friggin forget again: While we Vampires don't need to sleep anymore in a physical sense, mentally it really helps us calm down if we can just close our eyes and sorta `shut down´ our brains for a bit - I actually was doing that in my `couchsket´ when you arrived, which honestly explains why I am even MORE disorganized than usually…"

"...your what?", Jeremy of all people blinked in confusion.

Instead of answering outright, Ajaba just chuckled as he moved to the couch he´d been sitting on before lifting up the seats on a hinge, revealing an actual casket within the bottom with buttons and a speaker built into the head end.

"Trust me," he continued upon seeing her baffled faces "it might seem creepy and weird at first, but I´ll be damned if it isn´t super comfy and quiet - although admittedly a rather hard-to-get piece of furniture and probably hard to explain people living in the same house while not in the know…So yeah, maybe just get some noise-canceling lining for your bedroom walls for now, youngling" With that, the Elder slowly lowered the seats again before clearing his throat.

"Anyway, while there is still so much more to cover, it's getting rather late-slash-early, so I´ll just give you three cliff notes on the last big topic you NEED to know before we have to part for now, okay?"

Three "okays" uttered were all he needed for the moment.

"So yeah, all us vampires have sort-of `magics´ at our disposal to get things done, casting or maintaining of which will deplete your `pool´ of drunk Blood. That means that you need to husband your reserves well until you are old-slash-experienced enough to either not have those `Spells´ take as much outta you or make your Blood last you longer. As for the spells themselves, first there are two generic ones all Vampires got access to. Since I already mentioned Masking during my covering of Imbuement: it's basically you forcing your vampiric body to fake being mortal again to blend in better. Blood Empowering on the other hand does the exact opposite by doubling down on your vampiric nature and enhancing your physical as well as social abilities. As you can guess, because those two abilities are doing exact opposite things, trying to keep them both up at the same time won't do anything but make you look kinda dumb even without your finger and thumb in the shape of an L on your forehead"

At this turn of phrase, Dr. Cahill chuckled softly, which earned her a half-hearted stink eye from `her´ bloodsucker before he continued.

"It's a nice, catchy song, okay? Anyways, aside from those two more generic powers and probably stemming from our inherently stronger connectedness to our core psyche via the Beast, us Vampires can also be roughly classified into 14 different personality Archetypes with their own set of three different `Schools´ of Magic to start with. There used to be only 13 Archetypes, but a while ago three formerly independent, vaguely death-peddling Facets - minor groups of hanger-ons that either don't fit one of the Archetypes or split off from them to do their own thing - joined forces to form the Mortician Archetype. But anyway, I for example belong to the so-called Scholar Archetype, which gives me innate access to the Schools of Scrying, Hemomancy and…ugh, Authority."

Noticing his distaste at whatever that last School entailed and realizing from Candace´s own worried gaze that her bestie´s mind was already conjuring up the most horrible scenarios for her own powers, Stacy decided to rip off the band-aid herself.

"...that´s a bad one, I take it?"

"Oh-no-no-no," Ajaba retorted mirthlessly while crossing his arms and baring his fangs at himself, "what makes you think that? It only amounts to friggin mind-control, so nothing someone who's on the mend about his previous bouts of absolute rottenness needs to concern himself about, right?"

After that outburst, Dr. Cahill quickly squeezed his comparatively big hands reassuringly.

"We talked about this, Jabby - you aren´t your old self and even those powers don't HAVE to be used in a horrid manner."

"I know we did, Holly, but I just hate that School on principle and would rather have almost any other than that one…doesn´t matter, because the other two Schools are far more up my alley, so to speak. You´ve actually already seen me use Hemomancy - it's basically just good old Blood Magic, where I manipulate blood and even can use it as `weapon´ to make a frantic Neophyte confused enough to get some words in, for example. Now, Scrying on the other hand is all about sharpening your senses and uncovering hidden stuff - comes in handy for someone calling themselves a Scholar, you know? So yeah, that's what my Archetype got me saddled with - as for yours, Candace? Honestly not sure - we'd need to test out which one you are and we DEFINITELY haven't got the time, so…"

"Wait a moment, Jabby - maybe I, as dear Candace´s doctor, can help?", Dr. Cahill interjected before looking at her patient warmly, "Of course only if you are okay with me discussing stuff from our appointments, dear - after all, you are my patient and so, I am bound to adhere to your wishes as well as doctor-patient confidentiality."

"Of course, doc - if you think it can help…I just wanna know what's up with me already, you know?"

"Well, based what Jabby has told me on the different Archetypes and their different characteristics as well as my own experience with being your doctor, Candace, my current hypothesis is thus: Since I´ve come to know you as very socially conscious and eternally obsessed with `not being beautiful enough´ for your boyfriend - which I can assure you your specific Archetype´s approach to vampirification should have more than taken care of, by the way -, I would say that you most likely belong to the Socialites…wouldn´t you agree, Jabby?"

This made the Anthro Hyena scratch his chin scruff in contemplation.

"I mean, she definitely looks the part- if you say that she did change like that compared to before her Turning, her fidgeting and stuff would fit one of those butterflies for sure…it's honestly a good enough guess for now at least. That would mean that you got Scrying just like me - maybe I can give you some tips to make progress there once we can get to proper tutoring. Other than that, you got Speed Demon - which is all about being becoming fast and boosting your reaction time - and friggin Stardom, which has to be Authoritys way cooler and less morally iffy cousin. Basically, with it you can simply tweak how people feel, to make things simple...relaxing them, awing them with your charisma - that sorta thing. To put it bluntly, Stardom is the silken glove of social engineering to Authoritys spiked gauntlet of forced compliance - not without its own issues, but I'd take it over what I got nine times outta ten if I could choose, I am telling you."

"...are you saying that I might be twisting other people´s feelings towards me without realizing? How is that any better than outright brainwashing them?"

All four other people facepalmed as one at this catastrophizing for a moment, before Stacy couldn´t help pre-empting Ajabas surely annoyed retort.

"Before you ask, mister: She´s been like this even before becoming a vampire - always obsessing about how badly she might mess up people's impressions of her, with Jer and me having to calm her down"

"Hm, figures - makes her being a Socialite all the more likely in my eyes. But don't you worry, Candace - while it's theoretically possible for you to do that, at your stage you have to ACTIVELY WILL IT and your worry about doing it subconsciously shows me that you aren´t. Just calm down already, will you? I could do some messed-up stuff with my Hemomancy as well, trust me. But always remember that our vampirism only gives us the tools for our `trade´ - it's our choice what we do with them. And YES," he quickly interjected when Dr. Cahill started smirking knowingly, "I know that´s filthy rich coming from me after me blowing a gasket about how nasty Authority is, Holly…no need to needle me about it."

"You love me for it, you big silly floof, you." she giggled while hugging his arm comfortingly.

The three teens could see the Elder getting very flustered at that. "...it's not like I can help finding your wit attractive, no…Anyway, so yeah, that´s a rough overview of what being a Vampire means in our world - anything else you three need to know tonight?"

"No, thanks" Jeremy replied in obvious amusement at the other vampire´s current predicament "you were a great help to us, sir."

"...You know what? Screw it - just can the whole `Lord Ajaba´ crap and call me Damian Grimshire because honestly? Kinda been getting sick of running from my past. After all, I might as well be a good example for `not being afraid of yourself´, don't you think? But before you guys go home now, one last thing".

The three teens then were handed a slip of paper as well as an USB stick.

"If you need me, my phone number´s on that slip - just call ahead and I will try preparing something better that time. As for the stick, on it is a little homebrew program to access the Commune´s forums and stuff - hella clandestine admittedly, but until the Feds just randomly decide to let us Magicals live in the open, it's our best shot at staying in touch for now."

"That's more than we could hope for, Damian." Candace replied happily, "Thanks for for everything, you two."

The human doctor smiled back, still snuggling `her´ vampire. "That´s what we´re there for, Candace. Stay safe, you three."

With that, the teens waved them goodbye and went to leave, setting off into their new life together.

Don't Mess with this Mustache

You were Ned Flanders, and by diddily, your life was really turning around, wasn't it?

You'd had your personal tragedies here and there, and you were no stranger to the occasional couch crasher who'd stayed just a tad too long (Lena was a good kid beneath the snark and mystic mambo jumbo, you liked to think, but she was... well, a teenager; she was trying even your patience). But life was, overall, great!

You had a wonderful, high-paying new job, Rodd and Todd had made a new friend, and you were getting closer to your new sweetie, Camila. True, you couldn't shake the feeling she wasn't being entirely truthful with you about… something. But you were willing to chalk that up to her juggling the parenting demands of her whole squad of kiddos (the boys mentioned they called themselves the Hexsquad—good name for a group of six friends). There'd been a little spat there between you two, but for the most part, you just seemed to click.

To top it all off today you were meeting with someone far more powerful than any of the celebrities or kooky pharmacists you'd met before, a Senator for Pete's sake! Mayor Quimby had told you that this Senator had been eager to talk to Abe for quite a while. That Abe had been the one to send you to meet the man was flattering, and also a bit nerve-racking. But hey, you'd come a long way from your humble beginnings in Springfield, and now you were here to discuss nuclear fusion and de-radiating metals with a high-ranking official.

The meeting was set to take place in the conference room of the Simpson & Son Nuclear Power Plant. The room was gleaming clean, Apu actually oversaw the cleaning of the room himself and getting on the floor with the janitors with a series of toothbrushes to get every last bit of dirt out. Ned double-checked his clipboard, making sure all the notes Abe had prepped for him were in order. He didn't fully understand all the details of the research himself, but he knew it was all cutting-edge stuff. The kind of work that could give Springfield a new reputation, something a lot better than just the place with a dubious power plant and record-setting accidents.

As he checked the door, he saw Senator Legstrong make his way inside. The man was impossible to miss—tall, broad-shouldered, and radiating an air of no-nonsense grit that made him look right at home in the bare-bones room. With a military-style haircut, square jaw, what appeared to be the least convincing fake mustache you'd ever seen, and intense eyes, he practically exuded power and authority, and his handshake? Firm would be an understatement.

"Well now, Mr. Flanders," the senator's voice boomed, filling the conference room. "I've been hearing quite a lot about this plant. Fascinating work you're doing here."

"Oh, well, thank you, Senator! I can't take credit myself," Ned said, laughing nervously. "I'm just here to help the ol' engine keep chugging along, y'know? The real work is from the smartypants folks in research, though I do help with guidance here and there."

Senator Legstrong's piercing gaze bore into Ned. "Guidance, huh? Good to hear, Mr. Flanders. You see, this project of yours? It's of particular interest to certain… patriotic initiatives we've got going." He crossed his arms, seeming to weigh Ned with a calculating look. "Nuclear fusion and metal purification, especially with those leftover stockpiles from the war? We're talking about a power that could light up every home in America without a drop of foreign fuel, could give us a resource-independent nation. I don't have to tell you what that means, do I?"

Ned's eyes widened, and he tried to maintain a calm exterior, despite the sudden shift in tone. "Well, Senator, that does sound mighty important. And Mr. Simpson—Abe, I mean—he really believes in this plant's future."

"You're a spiritual man, Mr. Flanders. I respect that." The Senator leaned in, one hand on the table, his gaze sharpening further. "This country's only as strong as the values of the people that fuel it. And people like you, who have those strong beliefs? That's the kind of backbone we need, especially in this day and age, where folks seem to forget the importance of loyalty and hard work."

Ned nodded. "Well, I appreciate that, Senator. You know, we try to keep things on the straight and narrow here. But I think I'd be lying if I said I had all the answers about this project." He tapped the clipboard nervously. "It's all so new and, well… scientific."

The Senator's expression softened just slightly. "Ned, I'm not here to quiz you on scientific specifics. What I want to know is if the people at this plant have what it takes to see this project through. Now, I've got a lot of opposition—people who don't see the big picture here, who think we should be focusing on other 'priorities.' But those priorities don't make our nation stronger, they don't help us reclaim what we lost."

"Of course, Senator." Ned swallowed, trying to keep up. "This plant's got some of the hardest-working folks around, and we're all just as interested in seeing it succeed."

Senator Legstrong straightened, a grin breaking his intense expression. "That's good to hear, Flanders." He looked around the room before taking a seat. "Now, why don't you walk me through what Abe had you put together for today?"

Ned fumbled through his notes. "Right, well, Abe—er, Mr. Simpson—had some diagrams drawn up that show the process for nuclear fusion." He slid a few papers across the table, hoping he sounded more confident than he felt. "These are the kind of things that could revolutionize how we power our town, and potentially the nation, like you were saying. The scientists, lead by our own Professor Frink, are working on a way to control the energy release so it's safe and sustainable."

Senator Legstrong's gaze flicked over the notes, occasionally nodding in silent acknowledgment. "Sustainable power is all well and good," he mused, "but I'm more interested in what you're doing with those irradiated metals. Decontaminating post-WWII materials could have enormous applications in military tech, in all kinds of industries. More than half of our reserves are tied up in outdated, radiation-tainted relics." He leaned forward, his eyes flashing with enthusiasm. "You folks find a way to turn those relics into clean resources, and the whole game changes."

"Oh, yes, of course! You're absolutely right, Senator. We've got scientists working with all kinds of gizmos and gadgets to, uh, de-radiate and purify those metals," Ned replied, thinking of the overly complex equipment in the labs he'd seen. He didn't know the specifics, but he'd overheard enough talk in the halls to know that the project was promising.

The Senator gave a single nod of approval. "Good. Very good. Now let me be perfectly clear: I'll be in touch with Abe about how we're planning to move this forward. A project like this deserves full support, and if he's got people like you on board, I think we're in fine shape."

Ned tried to keep his relief from showing too much, but he couldn't help smiling. "Thank you, Senator. That means a lot to us."

Senator Legstrong shook his hand once more, the firm grip returning. "One last thing, Flanders. If this project does what I think it can, there'll be eyes on you lots of 'em. People who might want to undermine what you're building here. You'd do well to remember that and to stay vigilant."

"Oh, absolutely, Senator! Vigilance is one of my specialties," Ned replied, straightening his posture. "You can count on me to stay on the lookout for any… for anything out of the ordinary."

Legstrong's approving smile returned, his mustache slipping slightly.. "Good. You've got the right mindset. Now let's get down to business."

For some reason, those words made it feel like a tiger had just walked over your grave…


RESULT: Senator Legstrtong (and certainly not Armstrong) has made contact with the plant and expressed a real interest in collaborating with you on several actions. Collaboration action unlocked. The following Collaborations, you can choose any of them and can go along with the outlined rewards (Legstrong's proposal) or can choose that action but also choose to do a contested diplo contest (Abe and Flanders vs Legstrong) to see if your counter offer is successful or not! If it fails, you go with the default option with no opinion loss.

Collaboration Actions! (Choose one please)

[ ] Develop Fusion Power: Learning: DC 150
Legstrong: I've got a few guys who know a thing or two about unorthodox power and mechanical systems, if you think you can crack fusion then I can send them over.
Reward: Create the first functional fusion power reactor, actions to upgrade your power plant unlocked, Legstrong will also gain this knowledge.
-[ ] Accept!
-[ ] Counter offer (Pick Between)
--[ ] Ask for another thing (WRITE IN-WILL NEED TO BE ACCEPTED BY THE QMS BEFORE ALLOWED TO BE VOTED FOR)

[ ] Lo! Back-around steel! Learning DC 130
Legstrong: There is too much good metal that we can't use just because it's got a bit of radiation in it. Not to mention how much older equipment suffers the same fate.
Reward: Find a way to de-radiate modern steel, massive income gain from concerned parties, improved detection equipment, a hand in preserving military history, Legstrong will allow you to take the lion share of the credit but keep the majority of the income.
-[ ] Accept!
-[ ] Counter offer (Pick Between)
--[ ] Ask to receive the same amount of Income as the Government(?).
--[ ] Ask to receive more Income than the Government(?)
--[ ] Ask for another thing (WRITE IN-WILL NEED TO BE ACCEPTED BY THE QMS BEFORE ALLOWED TO BE VOTED FOR)

[ ] Buy Weapons for the Senator. Martial DC: 55/90
Legstrong: The cowards up in DC have been a lot more vocal about how the second amendment isn't supposed to cover new weaponry, but I think if anyone can be trusted with a laser rifle, it's a good American man, wouldn't you agree?
Reward: You sell guns to the senator under the table, gaining a moderate amount of income and Legstrong has a positive opinion of you.
-[ ] Accept!
-[ ] Counter offer (Pick Between)
--[ ] Ask for more income.
--[ ] Ask for another thing (WRITE IN-WILL NEED TO BE ACCEPTED BY THE QMS BEFORE ALLOWED TO BE VOTED FOR)

[ ] Infiltrate A King's Organization DC Variable
Legstrong: Too many of these megacorps and petty dictators are setting up on American soil and feeling like they're above the law and the government. It'd be best to keep an eye on them.
Reward: The territory of a King is infiltrated and expanded rival reports are given, how much is learned depends on the level of infiltration. Options to sabotage actions of the king unlocked. Both you and Legstrong will receive these actions and information.
-[ ] Accept!
-[ ] Counter offer
--[ ] Ask for another thing (WRITE IN-WILL NEED TO BE ACCEPTED BY THE QMS BEFORE ALLOWED TO BE VOTED FOR)
Note: Accepted infiltration targets: Xanatos, Syndrome, Glomgold and Shego

[ ] Pass
Flanders: I'm sorry you came all the way out here Senator, but none of these are really what Mr.Simpson is looking to work with the government on right now.
Reward(?): You pass on the collaboration with the senator.

24 Hour Moratorium on the Vote

AN - Whoever would have guessed my first interlude as a QM would involve Legstrong, who is totally a different guy from Armstrong. I have also been assured by the other QMs that it is an actual mustache, it just looks like that.

Votes are open.