Dmol8
The Undead Unhinged Lunatic of the Web
- Location
- Belgrade,Serbia
- Pronouns
- He/Him/His
The underlined errors in the order of reading them are:
Both underlined errors are doubled up words.
"does not believe that she does know" not "does not believes that she does know" if that was what you were going for. If it's not you need to rewrite this part.
this, all this not this all this
she not who
"Charity, she's not one of them!" Dad tries to interject, but but you are not sure she even hears him either because she isn't listening to anything at this point or because some remnant of the second sight she once had can still sense what you do, the overwhelming bleak darkness that spills out invisibly from from the still entirely serene form of Lash. She had expected no more than this, you realize, she does not see your mother's horror at any harm done to you, nor the fear for your siblings sleeping upstairs, all the Fallen sees is humanity living down to her expectations.
Both underlined errors are doubled up words.
Lash does not address the interruption continuing. "To be a shadow is to know substrate upon which one is cast, be it rotten timbers a stray gust of wind might break or granite which must be struck at just the right angle if there is any hope of cracking it. So for more than two years I bided, watching through his eyes and listening through his ears. It seemed to me then that Nicodemus had for all his faults chosen well. Most of the other Vanguard of the True Host would not have had the patience, driving him to either a quick confession and being destroyed by others—" she gives your father a knowing look, ironically proving she does not know that much about the Knights or does not believes that she does know— "Or simply destroying himself, neither of which were acceptable, both because I did not wish to fail and I did not wish to be extinguished. Looking back I suspect the self-enforced non-interference policy may have been when this all this—" she motions in the general direction of herself—"started."
"does not believe that she does know" not "does not believes that she does know" if that was what you were going for. If it's not you need to rewrite this part.
this, all this not this all this
"Oh I'm sorry I forgot the gingerbread," Mom says in sheer reflex. She is about halfway to the door when who realizes she had turned her back on a self-admired demon, you can see her back stiffen and she considers turning... and doesn't. Odds are good it occurred to her that Dad is there or maybe even that you are there, or so you would like to think.
she not who