I genuinely don't remember (I may have been drunk) but in case I did, here you go. Battle of Lungqi Plateau, Romance of the Three Kingdoms style.
As news spread to the home of Liang Shu about the uprising of the Yellow Turbans, Cao Xing rushed forward with a dreadful report. "In Lunqi to the south, a man has raised a great host of bandits and ne'er-do-wells," Said he, "They go hither and tither, setting alight the farms of good and honest men. Cattle is seized and crops taken. The people cry out for relief."
"Who is this dastardly fellow?" Liang Shu asked of him.
"They say he is called Zuo Of-The-Fifty-Foot-Moustache." Cao Xing responded to his master, "He commands a body of twenty thousand men, including two thousand cavalry."
"A notorious villain!" Zhu Fang exclaimed, reaching for his mighty war axe, and resting it against his shoulder. "He has brought much calamity to this land."
"Indeed. Such malcontents must be erased so that harmony may be restored." Yu Zhong said. "My lord, would it not be wise to muster your followers and bring justice to these caitiffs, thus performing a great duty to the Han?"
There was mumblings and clicking of tongues, but the young Liang Shu raised his hand. Said he, "My late father was murdered by cowardly bandits, and perished fighting them. I am a useless son who has yet to repay the kindness of my late father, and I cannot hope to match his achievements. However, I will certainly try, and I bid you all to follow me in this endeavour."
Leading a force of a thousand followers, Liang Shu marched south to meet this rebel army. Along the way, they passed cottages torched and fields stripped of grain. Zhu Fang joyfully accepted the endeavour to lead the van, whilst Zhang Liao was placed in command of the left wing, and Yu Zhong lead the centre. Liang Shu himself rode on the right wing among two hundred seasoned horsemen of Xinshen.
Liang Shu flourished his curved halberd at the criminals as the two armies formed up. He looked among their great host, clad in tattered garments and red turbans. Their hair was unkempt, and their sickles stained with the life blood of innocents. "Lo, you malcontents and mischief makers! Dismount now, and allow yourselves to be bound and disarmed!"
Zuo Of-The-Fifty-Foot-Moustache directed his whip towards the young leader. "Such a paltry army of boys and old men!" With a swing of the whip, he sent forth his champion, a chieftain from the hills named Qin Ben. This burly fellow was stout, and wielded a sixty pound mace. He begun to hurl reproaches towards Liang Shu.
"Silence, you villainous rebel!" Shouted Zhu Fang, raising high his ponderous axe. "Stay right there!" He rode forth to meet Qin Ben, and after a mere five bouts, the head of the chieftain was cleaved from his neck. The bandits were greatly alarmed by this, and their numbers began to waver. At that, the drums beat from the side of the Liang soldiers, and they rushed forwards at once. Surprised, many of the bandits were cut down as Liang Shu dashed among them with his riders. Many tossed aside their weapons and fled. Others among them prostrated themselves on the ground to the young lord, and begged him for a merciful judgement. Alas, Zuo-Of-The-Fifty-Foo-Moustache was able to withdraw away some distance, abandoning banner and solider alike. Liang Shu scored a great victory, but was saddened that the leader of the bandits had been able to slip through his grasp.
"Hold! Spare my life, young lord, and I shall reveal to you a method of catching that craven cur!" Came a voice from among the surrendered outlaws.
The identity of the speaker shall be revealed in the next chapter.