With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Twelve)

Masked Thespian · Jun 24, 2016

Several spelling corrections here, I'm afraid MrZoat.

Mr Zoat said:
They have no idea at all what it's shooting and the one time I burrowed enough constructs through the walls on either side of the corridor to tag it, I couldn't effect it's epidermis quickly enough to noticeably impair it.

affect its

Mr Zoat said:
Everything around me slows as my beans intersect with his and I manually trigger the crumbler effects

beams

At least, I hope you meant beams. Because if you actually meant beans being slang for testicles then... that's a completely different story.

Mr Zoat said:
It see hits to arms, legs and upper chest as they aren't quite fast enough.

Not sure which one you meant here, but this could either read I see or It sees

Mr Zoat said:
Skeets next shot passes through the first and second barrier layers but the next three trigger as intended and the attack fizzles out.

Skeets's or Skeets' depending on which school of grammar you hold dear to. I recommend Skeets's

Mr Zoat said:
As several start to slip, Rob gestures and it reliquefies, flows upwards and freezing around their joints.

You're mixing tenses here. This should either read flows upwards and freezes or flowing upwards and freezing. The first fits better but either is fine.

Mr Zoat said:
On the other hand, the other aspects of his thought on the matter still seem reasonably sensible.

thoughts

Unless future OL really did only have a singular thought on the matter (and even then it reads awkwardly).

Mr Zoat said:
Doctor Schwab scows… I think.

scowls

Kerrus · Jun 24, 2016

Ambush Bug typically is aware of what type of medium the universe he's in runs on normally. This is a fic, so it's running on text, but it's a fic of a TV show, so he's probably getting mixed signals. He directly references comic events in this update, and I'll point out that he went to great lengths to prevent Batman: Brave and the Bold (animated) from being canceled, not that it helped in the end and- oh god

He's in Young Justice because, from his perspective, he jumped series from Brave and the Bold, which was canceled due to Batmite wanting a more serious show. The two series ran concurrently for about a month...

I mean, from within WtR, he just sort of showed up, but if he's actually a metacanon immigrant from BatB, it'd make sense why he's so pissed at Paul.

u63r · Jun 24, 2016

SparraNova said:
Not his fault he missed the memo about the series getting canned and replaced with insulting chibi dogshit.

1. You're thinking of Teen Titans.
2. Just go watch Nick's TMNT already.

Coda · Jun 24, 2016

Well, ninjaed on corrections, but... The introduction of Impact font was of uncertain significance at first and I didn't realize it was a time jump until much later.

Hampsterpig · Jun 24, 2016

Mr Zoat said:
~~Doctor Schwab scows… I think~~

Other people caught it first.

Early update! Woo!
So how long until Ambush Bug has an existential crisis after realizing he is in a fanfiction?

u63r · Jun 24, 2016

Hampsterpig said:
Other people caught it first.

Early update! Woo!
So how long until Ambush Bug has an existential crisis after realizing he is in a fanfiction?

"There's not any shipping going on, is there?"

Meanwhile, in this universe, the readers start giggling maniacally.

finbikkifin · Jun 25, 2016

Hampsterpig said:
Other people caught it first.

Early update! Woo!
So how long until Ambush Bug has an existential crisis after realizing he is in a fanfiction?

Don't worry, Paul is good at rehabilitating villains with therapy and cake.

Empiricist2 · Jun 25, 2016

u63r said:
"There's not any shipping going on, is there?"

Meanwhile, in this universe, the readers start giggling maniacally.

Actually, there really hasn't been much shipping lately. Like, really, hardly any. I know that upon reading this everyone will go grab their sea-faring hat immediately, but up until now everyone's been focused on other things.

Couch-Gamer · Jun 25, 2016

A thought occurs to me. Could Ambush Bug use his powers to figure out who or what sent paul to the New 52? Can remove whatever is preventing him from saying his name?

Diceart · Jun 25, 2016

Couch-Gamer said:
A thought occurs to me. Could Ambush Bug use his powers to figure out who or what sent paul to the New 52? Can remove whatever is preventing him from saying his name?

This set in the Young Justice universes, New 52 is set in a different universe.

Mr Zoat · Jun 25, 2016

HanEmpire said:
EDIT: "I see hits to..."

AliasBot said:
Should be "ones," and possibly "pirates'."

Empiricist2 said:
Typos:
Affect its
I think 'to' needs to be removed
robots' barriers,
Skeets' next shot
Doctor Schwab scowls

Thank you, corrected.

and freezes around

No, I think that's right.

stsword · Jun 25, 2016

Couch-Gamer said:
A thought occurs to me. Could Ambush Bug use his powers to figure out who or what sent paul to the New 52?

Well the answer to that is obvious. The ROB is.....Mr Zoat!

Authors from Earth Prime being reality manipulators has such examples as the memesmiths of Earth Prime making the tulpa living comic book Ultra Comics, to Grant Morrison being a Suicide Squad member, and goes all the way back to Elliot S Morgan helping the Spectre set things to right when Carey Bates became a supervillain and killed the entire Justice Society in 1974.

What I wonder is if the revelation will end with Paul and Zoat having a nice cup of tea while they talk about it "You made me to make a fix fic for a cancelled cartoon?" or Grayven trying to go stabbity stabbity stabbity with the sword of the fallen.

As for the new 52, Zoat is a classicist when it comes to comics, this is obviously set in the infinite multiverse, which doesn't even contradict DC canon since it was restored in Convergence (Hal Jordan as Parallax and a bunch of others were time traveled to Crisis and with the reinforcements the heroes beat the snot out of the Anti-Monitor before he ate the original multiverse). The 52 still exists, but it's just a cluster amid a sea of infinite universes.

Mr Zoat · Jun 25, 2016

Masked Thespian said:
beams
You're mixing tenses here. This should either read flows upwards and freezes or flowing upwards and freezing. The first fits better but either is fine.
thoughts

Thank you, corrected.

Roadie · Jun 25, 2016

stsword said:
Hal Jordan as Parallax and a bunch of others were time traveled to Crisis and with the reinforcements the heroes beat the snot out of the Anti-Monitor before he ate the original multiverse

The DC cosmology and continues continues to get even more absurdly convoluted. Jesus H. Christ.

Cheap Orange Knofe · Jun 25, 2016

Here it comes. Schwab realizes its all good and apologizes. Everyone ignores the incident until suddenly................

ORANGE NIGHT

Krazyfan1 · Jun 25, 2016

Cheap Orange Knofe said:
Here it comes. Schwab realizes its all good and apologizes. Everyone ignores the incident until suddenly................

ORANGE NIGHT

...would it count as orange night if all the Pauls, instead of taking everything over, just turn the night sky Orange for an entire night?
like, if its an inevitability, but the actual event itself is changeable now, all they know is "there must be an orange night"
they could just get off on a technicality?

finbikkifin · Jun 25, 2016

Orange Night is basically Orange Wednesdays? Paul hijacks the night sky to screen classic films all over the world.

ElvishPresley · Jun 25, 2016

Krazyfan1 said:
...they could just get off on a technicality?

I didn't think Paul had much of a jurisprudence fetish, but hey, to each his own, right?

Krazyfan1 · Jun 25, 2016

ElvishPresley said:
I didn't think Paul had much of a jurisprudence fetish, but hey, to each his own, right?

i think Amanda here basically sums it up

stsword · Jun 25, 2016

Roadie said:
The DC cosmology and continues continues to get even more absurdly convoluted. Jesus H. Christ.

Not that I disagree, I'm mightily annoyed with DC's retcons upon retcons upon retcons, I think the writers over at DC have been wanting to undo Crisis for a while now- Hal Jordan's Parallax wanting to remake the multiverse, the proposed series in which pre-crisis supergirl was going to team up with linda danvers supergirl and power girl, and what not.

Mr Zoat · Jun 25, 2016

Empiricist2 said:
Typos: And looks around

Thank you, corrected.

The previous segment he said he was going to keep the fact that he isn't actually from Apokolips a secret, then says he kept his birthday from Earth Prime. A mistake on his part?

Everyone's got to be born sometime. The Renegade tries not to fill in details about his background because he's painfully aware that it wouldn't bear close examination.

With an Ace of Clubs
Doing some math, that works out to about 100 kilometers a second. Fast, but going by this it wouldn't do all that much, nowhere near the extinction level speeds mentioned previously. Maybe include a line about how it slowed down significantly between then and now?

Thank you, corrected.

Means that

I think that's what I wrote?

Karsta Wor-Ul has one as well, in addition to the Genomorphs. It's mentioned later that he built one for his new Mountain as well, but I assume he's ignoring that one.
Mister Freeman's
Aliens' armour
Firing out a volley of missiles
Behavior, since American.
For an eleven
"Was it prehensile?"
I have is that the
Extraneous space between the end of the sentence and OL's quotation mark.

Thank you, corrected.

May want to make it more clear that Icon is talking about OL being the one from a different universe.

I think I'll leave it. I can't think of a way to reword the sentence that is both clearer and Icony.

For all its surprising
Quotation mark in the middle of her talking shouldn't be there
This relationship meant a lot
Might want to make it more clear that the last sentence is talking about Po, although this isn't totally necessary
The answer's something,
Your head's in exactly

Thank you, corrected.

Empiricist2 · Jun 25, 2016

Mr Zoat said:
I think that's what I wrote?

I think I originally saw an inconsistency between the pluralization in the sentences, but it looks like you fixed it. Meant to put 'means that impacts ... aren't a problem' but I guess I had a brain fart.

Jetsmillion · Jun 25, 2016

Mr Zoat said:
"Now, hold on a moment. How can you be sure I've done any damage at all?"

Now we just need Ambush bug to take a look at the amount of following this thread has. The sheer number of likes, follows, and views should impress him.

daimahou · Jun 25, 2016

Jetsmillion said:
Now we just need Ambush bug to take a look at the amount of following this thread has. The sheer number of likes, follows, and views should impress him.

"They will obviously increase with me at the helm!"

Coda · Jun 25, 2016

Krazyfan1 said:
...would it count as orange night if all the Pauls, instead of taking everything over, just turn the night sky Orange for an entire night?
like, if its an inevitability, but the actual event itself is changeable now, all they know is "there must be an orange night"
they could just get off on a technicality?

Actually the only person who's called it that in-universe is Paul himself. What was ACTUALLY said is that a bunch of lanterns caused a lot of trouble in the future, and Paul was surprised when instead of being black lanterns they were orange.

With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Twelve)

Fractal Insanity

I write stuff.

Let's play doctor!

Dedicated ragequitter

Dedicated ragequitter

A plate full of blins and a cat nearby.

Worrying for the future.

Worrying for the future.

Dedicated ragequitter

Let's play doctor!

Hear... Feel... Think...