20th March
12:11 GMT +3
I'm.. probably too far away from the throne to bow. I think? I settle for hurrying forwards and dipping my head slightly.
"I apologise, my Lord. There were many stairs.
"
Hades looks puzzled.
"I had been under the impression that you could fly. Was I mistaken?
"
"He
can fly, Father. He just
didn't.
"
He turns his head towards Melinoë.
"Whyever not? Is he injured?
"
"Only in the
head.
"
"Again, my Lord, I apologise-.
"
"Diana flies.
" He makes a vague gesture towards me with his right hand.
"You're an Eris-worshipper, aren't you? Is this some sort of strange Discordian ritual?
" One of the courtiers -
a clean-shaven, young-looking man- makes an amused cough behind me.
"Usually, those are somewhat more
creative, but I suppose an allowance should be made for your youth and inexperience.
"
"It was
strongly implied to me that requesting a meeting with you was a serious, sombre, theological affair and that I should treat it as such. Not as a.. business meeting. If there are steps, presumably they are to be walked, as part of the ritual of attaining entry.
"
"And if you had come in by the Gate of Shades, would you have walked then? And at the Acheron awaited Charon, and paid him for his service? Despite the fact that it was entirely unnecessary?
"
"I'm.. increasingly realising that this is the wrong answer, my Lord, but
yes, I would. I would have observed what I thought to be the ritual to the best of my abilities.
"
He stares at me for a moment, then shakes his head slightly.
"Why?
"
"Because you don't become a Discordian if you can't take a joke, my Lord.
" I hold my arms out slightly to the sides.
"One day you're telling the joke, the next you're the butt of it. Chaos is not merely a thing which happens to other people, and if I've forgotten that then I'm due to have the universe take me down a peg or two.
"
"Hmm.
" Hades' right hand strokes his beard for a moment as he considers my answer.
"A curious philosophy. Would you like to wander around a little more, or are you ready to start?
"
I stop about four metres from the throne and bow from the waist.
"I am quite ready to begin, thank you.
"
"Very well. My court is now in session. What is your petition?
"
Wasn't I supposed to bribe him first? Um. Okay?
"I seek entry to Tartarus, my Lord. And, passage back.
"
"I doubted that you wished to stay there
eternally.
" Hades nods.
"For what reason?
"
"I wish to speak with the
Hekatonkheir Cottus.
"
"Idle curiosity? You wish to keep
him waiting for two hours?
"
"No, my Lord.
"
"Then speak in complete sentences, complete thoughts. Does the land of the living no longer teach rhetoric?
"
"In point of fact, my Lord, no. But I'm acting under a series of
nearly conflicting obligations and I'm trying to make sure that I don't misspeak.
"
"That makes a little more sense. Continue.
"
"I need to confirm Cottus' presence or absence from a particular place at a particular time. An accusation has been made against him and I think it only fair that he be given the opportunity to answer it.
"
"And then?
"
"Once I have as full a picture of events as the surviving evidence allows me to put together, I will most likely present my findings to Queen Hippolyta and leave judgement on the matter in her hands. Assuming that her judgement has not been compromised in some way.
"
Hades frowns slightly.
"It would be no simple matter to compromise the judgement of Queen Hippolyta.
"
"I know, my Lord. But it is
possible, so I cannot dismiss it without information which I currently lack.
"
"You seek to do no violence to Cottus?
"
"Not at this stage. I certainly would not initiate any, and would endeavour to disengage if attacked.
"
Hades nods.
"Aeacus? The mortal falls under your jurisdiction. What say you?
"
"I see little to object to, my Lord." The young-looking man comes forwards to stand beside me. Aeacus, formerly King of Aegina and now Judge of the Dead of Europe. "The Hekatonkheires usually hold station a short way inside the gates, so there is little risk that one of their charges might escape." He looks at me and raises his eyebrows in curiosity. "Though I will admit to some degree of curiosity as to what Cottus is supposed to have done. He has always seemed to me to be a dutiful being, and given his size we could hardly have missed his egress if he had left to perform some mischief."
"I'm sorry, your honour. The precise nature of the accusation gets.. rather to the heart of the matter, and I agreed that I would not speak of it unless absolutely essential.
" If Diana came down here it would hardly be unusual for them to comment on her student's actions to her, after all.
Melinoë rolls her eyes, and Hades glances at her.
"You have some comment you wish to make, Daughter?
"
"Cottus has a
job. If this mortal won't provide a decent reason as to why he should be granted access, why let him?
"
"I did come prepared with what I believe to be a substantial tribute. Ifff.. that helps?
"
"Like what?
"
"Exotic foods, books on modern thaumaturgy, perfumes, musical instruments, recordings of music and… Gold..? I wasn't sure what was appropriate.
"
"Which of those are for me?
"
Um?
"Which do you want most?
"
She looks away from me.
"Objection withdrawn. I'll take him myself.
"
"Any other objections?
" Hades looks around and there's a general shaking of heads.
"Very well. Melinoë, please escort Pavlos to a vault where his tribute may be stored until the assayers can examine it, and then lead him into Tartarus.
"
She curtseys.
"Of course, Father.
"
I bow as well.
"Thank you, my Lord.
"
"It is naught but my duty as God of the Dead. Perhaps when your duties are less pressing you could introduce yourself to my court in full?
"
Not sure where he's going with that, but I suppose there's no reason to refuse.
"Certainly, my Lord. I'll look forward to it.
"
