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In fairness, people usually don't mentally narrate sex. In the third person. Especially since it's quite possibly the hardest activity to form coherent thoughts in the middle of.
Really? I'd put sleep as the most difficult by far. Followed by things like drug induced hallucinations, panic attacks, torture, sleep deprivation, and drunkenness. Although I suppose the last one is just a special case of the second.
I was under the impression that april fools episodes take place on april fools by the in-universe date, rather than the real date?
Correct. Although last year I wrote a short omake as an April fool's joke, so maybe they were thinking of that?
 
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The fact that the Retcon involves time-travellers has me half-convinced that it happened in-story too and Zoat is only claiming otherwise so he can catch us with the big twist.
 
Also, if "He's going in now." is how you describe it...then you're either very bored and just throwing just pity-sex...or sadly your partner isn't very...impressive/doing a bad job.
I like to imagine there's a duo of female telepaths who are constantly keeping a snide running commentary of their lives, complete with sarcastic deadpan descriptions of anything that fails to impress them.
 
deploy lure phase out
While your version is grammatically correct, the SI isn't thinking grammatically.
Did the Cherubim actually have
"Cherubim" is plural... Though perhaps Zatanna assumed there might be more than one?
Let's say 'yes'.
and they can't replicate it
thousand years' worth
She eats zhe fruit
With no Kane
Wizh no Kane
The initial numbering when the SI stole the fruit used colons rather than dots
it has been
and follows me
and he follows me
repent of the theft
their understanding of what Jehovah wants is
Thank you, corrected.
taken a decision
Should probably be "taken a direction" or "made a decision"
No, I think that's right.
for a week or so, going on
any risk to Earth to
any risk to Earth from
Since I don't...
the quantity of reports... decreases
then closed it again
then closes it again
the hold out
then hold out
SSeperate
SSeparate
its laughing again as it
it's laughing again as it
Thank you, corrected.
 
Really? I'd put sleep as the most difficult by far. Followed by things like drug induced hallucinations, panic attacks, torture, sleep deprivation, and drunkenness. Although I suppose the last one is just a special case of the second.
Way to bring down the mood.
The fact that the Retcon involves time-travellers has me half-convinced that it happened in-story too and Zoat is only claiming otherwise so he can catch us with the big twist.
No, no, not this time. There will be one, but that wasn't it.

I can write the SI doing stuff all year, but episodes need a focus. And that episode didn't have one. It's still not exactly my best work, but it's better now that it would have been.
 
This story is so long and its been around for so long that i can't remember.remembe, but why hasn't OL used the danner or garrick formulas on himself (or perhaps a combination of the two)? Or has he and I'm just not remembering it?

Oh, I'll give you both: Doylist: Anything the Danner Formula does, he can do better with the tech of the ring, and whatever tech he's built using the ring. Garrick would just be straight up broken. Do you remember when the SI would use Accelerated Perception and do dozens of things almost instantly, before his opponents could react?

Watsonian: He's got a funky soul that isn't exactly right for alchemical enhancement, and the last time he tested to see if he could get a reaction of his blood, there wasn't one.

It should be noted that Grayven used the Garrick Formula after his divine awakening, but it wore off due to his nature reasserting his original body.
 
Really? I'd put sleep as the most difficult by far. Followed by things like drug induced hallucinations, panic attacks, torture, sleep deprivation, and drunkenness. Although I suppose the last one is just a special case of the second.
I suppose it depends on where you draw the line between "activity" and "condition".
 
While your version is grammatically correct, the SI isn't thinking grammatically.
Hmm. I wasn't so much thinking of it as a grammatical thing; he left out "phase", which makes the word "out" a bit confusing for the reader. Justifiable, because he was rushing, but still, slightly confusing.
 
Imagine Impulse's reaction when he travels back in time from his terrible future, if he does travel back in time, and finds out he's one of many travelers who finds out the effects of time travel seem to effective to a varying degree that and meets Paul and wonders if he didn't travel through time but parallel dimensions as well.

Since it's shown in canon that he managed to remove the powers from a dangerous meta-human in the past then showed that the future version didn't have powers as well, but the future was still terrible due to the actions Reach/Light/Apokalypse, and could possibly still be terrible in Season 3.

Imagine Paul and Co. trying to figure what actions in the past had an impact in the future, then what actions in the present caused by those from the future could have now and later on, and whether or not time travel works in a circular or linear pattern or some combination of both. All while someone eventually start making Doctor Who references aimed at Paul; he's British, he introduces himself by his title/rank, he carries a variety of tech and trinkets to help him get by dangerous situations, seems to know an unspecified amount of information, and goes on treks with male/female companions. The only thing he's missing is the Police Box/Tardis, though depending on the mode of travel he may end up commandeering or building his own mode of transportation.

Mr. Zoat did mention how he planned on writing an episode where Paul travels back in time during WWII and helps the Allied Forces/All Star Squad only to wind up in a better future that has his friends being altered that they've never met him or no longer exist, like Kon, and has to travel back in time to undo his actions.

The Time Travel Expansions DLC makes for an entertaining play-through so long as you don't think to hard on how it would affects the main story-line, the variety of possible romance options, and to see how your actions taken as you played would have lasting affects depending on your role as a paragon/renegade/etc. Plus it's makes the experience of level grinding far less tedious.
 
It occurs to me that Demon Jizz is the new cheap way to give your mooks superpowers. Maybe they weren't kill because they were drinking Demon Jizz. Maybe they were drinking it because they were about to be killed. As a last ditch survival method.
What would really concern me is the prospect of mixing it with Venom Buster and Garrick. Which are probably compatible with each other (cell testing worked, animal testing hasn't been done by the SI), and we can be confident that Satanus has access to Venom Buster at least.

Remember the SI's recipe for giving him a bad time, after fighting Sabbac? "Super speed, super toughness, super strength, construct resistance, I can deal with any one. Or two. All four at once was pushing it." Garrick + Block/Venombuster would give three, and we've seen demonic magic provide construct resistance (as well as its own strength and resilience). And unlike the ritual that powered Sabbac, Garrick Buster Jizz would be mass-producible.
 
Mr. Zoat did mention how he planned on writing an episode where Paul travels back in time during WWII and helps the Allied Forces/All Star Squad only to wind up in a better future that has his friends being altered that they've never met him or no longer exist, like Kon, and has to travel back in time to undo his actions.
I did? I don't remember that.
 
I did? I don't remember that.
You did it basically involved the plot you just described with WW and the Spear, that Fate was still around with an order of Monks which take turns wearing him, Alan as the Head of a still active Justice Society, and Wondy is married to a non evil Sally sonic.

Edit: Though I think the idea was that Paul was on Maltus and therefore immune when a tine travel change propagated out. he returns and finds the better world but doesn't care if it's better, goes orange and changes it back.

Edit 2: Chinese monks, an order of Chinese Order Monks that's what I was trying to remember.
 
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What would really concern me is the prospect of mixing it with Venom Buster and Garrick. Which are probably compatible with each other (cell testing worked, animal testing hasn't been done by the SI), and we can be confident that Satanus has access to Venom Buster at least.

Remember the SI's recipe for giving him a bad time, after fighting Sabbac? "Super speed, super toughness, super strength, construct resistance, I can deal with any one. Or two. All four at once was pushing it." Garrick + Block/Venombuster would give three, and we've seen demonic magic provide construct resistance (as well as its own strength and resilience). And unlike the ritual that powered Sabbac, Garrick Buster Jizz would be mass-producible.

It could be worse. When venom was first introduced (in the storyline Batman: Venom), the guy who invented venom created a mental version that ramped up his intelligence but made him an utter sociopath.

The Light could've been producing supersoldiers who include enhanced intelligence and all the empathy of a rabid alley cat in their arsenals.

The fact that the blockbuster formula makes one dumb as a post is probably the only reason the bad guys aren't passing that formula out like party favors.

And while kobra-venom doesn't seem to have that side effect, the results are less impressive. Blockbuster can take on Superboy and Aqualad at the same time, Mammoth lost to Aqualad alone.

So I'd say the reason the Light doesn't produce a Flashbuster is because they don't want a speedster as dumb as a box of rocks.
 
You did it basically involved the plot you just described with WW and the Spear, that Fate was still around with an order of Monks which take turns wearing him, Alan as the Head of a still active Justice Society, and Wondy is married to a non evil Sally sonic.

Edit: Though I think the idea was that Paul was on Maltus and therefore immune when a tine travel change propagated out. he returns and finds the better world but doesn't care if it's better, goes orange and changes it back.

Edit 2: Chinese monks, an order of Chinese Order Monks that's what I was trying to remember.
I think you're conflating two timelines there. Still active Justice Society was the thing I described earlier with Wonder Woman fighting in Greece. The order of Zoroastrian monks was a different timeline altogether.
 
The fact that the blockbuster formula makes one dumb as a post is probably the only reason the bad guys aren't passing that formula out like party favors.

And while kobra-venom doesn't seem to have that side effect, the results are less impressive. Blockbuster can take on Superboy and Aqualad at the same time, Mammoth lost to Aqualad alone.

So I'd say the reason the Light doesn't produce a Flashbuster is because they don't want a speedster as dumb as a box of rocks.
Hmm. I've been assuming that Venom Buster was more effective, but with more side effects, than plain Blockbuster. Though I guess it's possible that things are indeed the other way around. Still, the difference in difficulty could be anything from Dr Desmond's narrativium aura to Kaldur learning a thing or two from that fight and being better prepared when Mammoth appeared.

Whichever one has less mental effects is probably compatible with Garrick, anyway.
 
Really? I'd put sleep as the most difficult by far. Followed by things like drug induced hallucinations, panic attacks, torture, sleep deprivation, and drunkenness. Although I suppose the last one is just a special case of the second.
I'm pretty sure I could narrate in third person while torturing someone, and I've certainly done it while drunk and hallucinating due to drugs.
 
Pursuant (part 8)
19th October
16:49 -5 GMT


The room the genomorphs have Match in has changed a great deal since Kon and I first fought him. The body parts from failed experiments are gone, small amounts taken for tissue samples while the rest were incinerated. Genomorphs certainly aren't sentimental. His pod has been substantially reinforced, at least in part because they're deliberately keeping him a little more awake than they used to in order to let the team of g-gnomes and g-pooka sitting in repose around it try altering his thought processes to something a little less violent.

Last time I asked, Dubbilex told me that he was reasonably sure that this approach couldn't completely work but that it wasn't impossible that it could turn him from 'berserk' to merely 'furious'. Another thing Genomorphs don't do: they don't get despondent. If the g-pooka's emotional manipulation abilities couldn't fix Match, maybe the g-fae's magic would prove more effective. Maybe the g-lusca would craft a virus capable of making Match fully Kryptonian. And if no solution was forthcoming from those, perhaps the next iteration of the malleable genomorph genome would suggest a different solution.

The rest of the room is given over to research stations. Unlike upstairs there are some human researchers down here; too much acquired experience with Kryptonian tissue to dismiss. One or two were lured away from STAR Labs, and I think the other new faces were from LexCorp's 'xenobiological exploration' department. One claimed during my last visit that with the right pharmaceuticals Match would be no worse off than a strongly bipolar human. Neither Kon nor I were convinced that was anything like good enough.

"Hey Mom."

Kon heads towards Diana, who has been watching Match's faintly twitching face through the viewing pane. She turns her head a little his way, just enough to indicate that she heard him. "How was school today?"

"I'm not.. really sure. I was kinda distracted." He comes up alongside her. "You.. getting anything..?"

She gives her head a small shake. "I can think of nothing I could do for him. He was created on Earth. It is quite possible that Gaea's magic would be able to heal his mind, if she could be persuaded to make the attempt. But… It is probably far safer to place our faith in Jor-El."

A door in the side of the room opens, and Dubbilex and an uncomfortable-looking Kara Zor-El walk through. I turn away as Diana and Kon side-hug and head their way. "Medical go alright?"

Dubbilex stops, straightening slightly. "As far as I can tell, Miss Zor-El is in near-perfect health. My only concern is that she is slightly underweight, but considering how long she was in cryogenic suspension it is noteworthy that that is her only difficulty."

"No need to worry about that. Mis-. Ma-. Ah. Kal's foster mother is keeping an eye on what I eat."

"It would be a simple matter to assign you a g-gnome, should you desire it."

"I don't.. think I could really explain why I was carrying a g-gnome around with me."

"Ah, secrecy." Dubbilex blinks. "Am I to understand that you are following Superman's example and concealing your nature?"

"For now. I don't.. really get it either. But it's an Earth custom, so…"

"It also lets you get out of explaining how the Kryptonian Kara Zor-El knows… Well. You know who. I'm not a fan of it either, but-."

"Yeah, I do… Get it." She shrugs. "It's just.. strange. I don't think Krypton ever had anything like 'superheroes'. And… I can't get over Kal being a soldier."

"Kal-El isn't exactly a soldier."

"Volunteer police officer?" She shrugs. A lot of alien languages don't have a good translation for 'superhero' that isn't closer in meaning to 'demigod' than what an English speaker actually means when they say it. "That's not really something Els do. We're.. scientists. The only El I can remember who was a soldier was Van-El, and he only did it because the Reconstruction needed him more than anything else did."

"Not planning on putting on a red and blue costume and fighting evildoers yourself, then?"

"Nnnno. I.. should probably learn how to actually use my strength; I don't want to accidentally hurt anyone. But… My qualifications are in mathematics. I don't think I'm really qualified."

I shrug. "My degree's in philosophy."

"Which makes sense, because you're using a power ring." She turns her head away, watching Match's sarcophagus. "The most useful thing I could do for-. For Krypton would be working here. I'm not a.. doctor or anything, but I'm sure that Uncle Jor would let me use his database. And I probably still know more about how we work than most humans."

"If you are not a specialist, I doubt that you know more than we do." Dubbilex doesn't exactly seem offended, but he does have a point. "Though I would appreciate any further data you could persuade Kal-El to provide."

I frown. "I thought he was helping-."

"I did not mean to imply that he was withholding critical information. But he is reluctant to share anything that is not directly related to Kryptonian neurology. His opinion is that we do not need anything else to help Match, and he does not want to risk further data falling into Lex Luthor's hands."

"What's with that, anyway?" Kara looks from Dubbilex to me. "Lex Luthor's a.. human businessman, isn't he?"

"That's a.. complicated one. And if you don't plan on getting involved in costumed adventuring I'd suggest avoiding both the man and the subject."

She frowns. "O.. kay..?"

"Exactly what sort of mathematics? I'm sure KordTech-."

She laughs politely. "You… It's like what I said back at the mountain… Krypton was just… Ah…"

"I'm not offended. I've been around enough to know that we're a good deal more primitive than a lot of worlds."

"I'm not trying to be mean about it. You're not barbarians or anything. There are a lot of worlds with more technology that aren't anything like as nice. I.. think Krypton might have been like this if the Vrangs hadn't invaded." She sighs, then looks straight at me. "Well… Kon says you're his Jes-Mo… What do you think I should do?"

"How..? Soon do you need to start? Honestly, I wouldn't do anything until you're a good deal more accustomed to Earth society."

"I.. really think I'd rather have something to work on now."

I can understand that. "Did your.. mathematical qualifications include statistics or economics?"

"Statistics, sure. Economics… A bit. It wasn't really my focus."

"Oh. Ah… Have you considered emigrating? Tamaran could really use school teachers?"

"Learn another language? I'm having enough trouble with English."

"Um…" I hear a hiss as the pod disconnects from its housing, Kon and Diana getting into position to push. "I'll have a think about it, but I don't really know much about higher maths. I'm not sure-"

Alert! Connection made to monitored phone line.

"-that I oh great."

Kara frowns. "What?"

"Sorry, someone's-." I raise my left hand and look at my ring.

Is it Truggs again?

Confirmed.

I move my hand to the side of my head. "What?"

"Hey, Paul. Funny story-."

"If the assassins are here for you, don't expect me to help."

"Oh, I think this time around my problems are your problems."
 
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Typos:

Kon heads towards Diana, who has been watching Match's faintly twitching face through the viewing pane. She turns her head a little his way, just enough to indicate that she heard him. "How as school today?"
"was"

"Which makes sense, because you're using a power ring." She turns her head away, watching Match's sarcophagus. "They most useful thing I could do for-. For Krypton would be working here. I'm not a.. doctor or anything, but I'm sure that Uncle Jor would let me use his database. And I probably still know more about how we work that most humans."
"than"
 
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