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This Bites! (One Piece SI)

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We apologize, loyal fans, but this is not because the chapter is finished. Quite the contrary: in our efforts to shoot for a 40k word chapter, the entire thing was becoming a bit too verbose, too...superfluous. Ergo, we had to come up with an entirely new plan, which involves scrapping the old plan for Chapter 41.
 
The Patient One said:
We apologize, loyal fans, but this is not because the chapter is finished. Quite the contrary: in our efforts to shoot for a 40k word chapter, the entire thing was becoming a bit too verbose, too...superfluous. Ergo, we had to come up with an entirely new plan, which involves scrapping the old plan for Chapter 41.
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Give chapter 41 a miss, and go straight on into 42?
 
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Rewriting chapters is a thing that happens. It's a big part of the writing process. Does that mean we have to wait another 3 weeks?
 
Well.... 40K is a bit much, admittedly. Might cause some people to grab Hammers and make War.

Also, my crappy little thing I'm writing is barely over 60K, and that took me 2 years, and makes me feel inadequate.
 
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Chapter 41 - Enies Lobby Pt 3
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    • Chapter 41​

    Chapter 41

    Patient AN: Aiming for a massive word count is all well and good, but this was just getting silly. Seriously, loyal fans, at the rate we were going, we were likely to hit 50,000 words, and though Ego thought it would be a good reward for your     patience to do that, I pointed out that you may not have the patience to read through such a monster. So, nothing for it but to give you this, and leave you with another trademark of the Cross-Brain.

    Xomniac AN: Our supremely sadistic beyond all reason cliffhangers that leave you salivating for more and more. Plus it gives us an extra payday, of course. :D

    And hey, we're sorry for the scare earlier, but surely you'll forgive us, right? Because… we're brilliant. XD

    Patient AN: Brilliant trolls, that is. Though it seems we may have to step up our game in the future…

    UPDATED Xomniac AN: Blah, no one took the bait. We're off our game XP

    "Tow, tow, tow your boat, gently 'cross the maelstroms—"

    "'Gently' my ass!" I moaned as I held on for dear life to the side of the rowboat. Damn it, I hadn't been seasick once in the past six months, I was not going to break my streak—hurp!—now!

    SPLASH!

    "Ergh…" Even if the damn thing was moving faster than any rowboat was ever meant to go…

    "Aww, what's wrong, Cross, got a weak stomach?" Lassoo chuckled as he leered over my shoulder.

    "I've got some motion-sickness medicine if you want it!" Chopper offered, before lowering his hoof with a hesitant look over his shoulder. "Though… all of this motion might have made it unstable…"

    "NICE CATCH-22, doc!"

    "So there's a design flaw, sue me!"

    "Well, if you're gonna ralph, normally I'd recommend you doing it over the edge." Franky grimaced as he glanced at the waters frothing below us. "But honestly, given how fast these things are moving, that might not be the best of ideas. What goes around comes around and all that, ya know?"

    "If I get puke in my face, then you're all going for a swim!" Boss barked indignantly over his shoulder as he all but dug through the maelstroms' savage waters. "And would the rest of you cram it already!? This is a lot more complicated than just bull-rushing through the water, I need to concentrate to keep us from getting sucked under, damn it!"

    "My sincerest apologies…" I moaned miserably as I clutched at my stomach. "I'll try and stay quiet as my gut crawls out of my mouth…"

    "Much appreciated! Now, hang on, we've got a bit one comin' right at us!"

    I hastily clamped down on the boat's edge as we went over yet another wave. Damn it, it was one thing to go through rough weather on a tub as big and strong as Merry, but in a boat this small, the effect was way—urp!

    Ugh, how the hell did I get in this mess in the first place…

    Oh, right, it was my idea.

    -Flashback-

    "So." Franky cocked an eyebrow as he watched Boss pump the last of the water out of Chopper. "How long do we have until Doc Monster wakes up?"

    "Ah…" I glanced upwards as I tapped my chin in thought. "Well, seeing as his body is exhausted from undergoing a huge amount of stress, normally it would take a while to recover."

    "But…?" Lassoo prompted.

    "But," I nodded in agreement as I shot an uncomfortable glance at the battleships flanking the Bridge. "Right now, it's better that we be hauling conscious dead-weight into a battlefield than unconscious. Sooo… Boss, you might wanna step back a bit."

    I cleared my throat as the Dugong backed off, and once he was a safe distance away…

    "Chopper, if you wake up right now, I promise that when I die I'll donate my body to science!" I barked, already in pre-flinch.

    "I WANT THAT IN WRITING!"

    I wasn't disappointed. Nobody even blinked as Chopper snapped up into a sitting position, a mad glint in his very, very conscious eyes. The next second, however, he blinked the madness away… and promptly flopped onto his back. It took a minute of struggle for him to properly process the situation, and once he sent a fearful glance my way. "Um… how… bad was it?"

    "Nowhere near as bad as we thought," I reassured him. "We'll cover the details later, but for now, you can rest assured that you didn't hurt anyone except our enemies, so don't worry about it."

    Franky coughed something under his breath, but Boss was quick to shut him up with an elbow in his side. Chopper didn't notice as he nodded, clearly mollified, but frowned as he tried to force his body to move. Key word being 'tried', and when he got only a few errant twitches in response, the frown turned into an outright grimace. "How much fighting do we have left?"

    "Mmph…" I grunted as I wavered my hand back and forth. "The worst is over, but we're taking a step down from quality for a massive step up in quantity real fast."

    Chopper glanced upwards, his eyes darting back and forth in thought, and after a moment he attempted to shift onto his side, the inevitable failure drawing an aggravated sigh from his lips. "Alright. Look in my backpack, there should be a metal-plated tool roll in there that has my syringes in it. You're looking for a red-filled one labeled J-52."

    "Let me guess…" I mused as I complied with his instructions and held up the needle in question, tapping out any air bubbles in it. "Adrenal serum? And going by these very clear skull-labels you have on it… experimental?" His silence was answer enough. "How much of a blowback are we talking here?"

    "By my estimates and the current state of my body, I'd say…" Chopper mused. "It'll energize me for twelve hours, then I'm going to sleep like a corpse for twice as long. Sound like a good cost-benefit?"

    "If this works?" I scoffed. "I'll use you as a plushie once we're done, for all I care. Now, how do I get this into you?"

    "You need to find a vein on me somewhere, preferably my arm." The human-Zoan shifted his arm slightly, scowling at it. "It'll be a bit hard because of my fur, but—!"

    Before he could say anything further, Franky snatched the syringe out of my hand, flipped it into a reverse grip, and slammed into Chopper's chest.

    "YEARGH!" Chopper howled as he shot to his hooves—no, feet, he was in Muscle Point—and ripped the syringe out of his chest before snarling in the cyborg's face. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU DAMN ASSHOLE!? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA JUST HOW BONE-DEAD STUPID THAT KIND OF A STUNT IS?! YOU JUST BROKE THE HIPPOCRATIC OATH IN A DOZEN DIFFERENT WAYS, I SHOULD SUE YOU FOR MALPRACTICE!"

    "First off, I never took no hypocritical whatever, and second, it worked, didn't it?" Franky huffed as he crossed his arms, entirely unaffected by my crewmate's fury. "'Sides, it works faster that way anyway; I've got enough experience where ODs are concerned to know that."

    "Yoooouuuu…" Chopper snarled as he strangled the air above Franky's shoulders.

    "UH, 'scuse me? Any other time, I'D JOIN IN THE BANTER, BUT WE HAVE A SITUATION!" Soundbite chimed in. "HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET TO that bridge without passing Luffy's DUEL TO THE DEATH? 'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW about you guys, but I DON'T LIKE OUR ODDS!"

    The reindeer twitched for a moment before huffing and shrinking back down to Brain Point. "To be continued…"

    "Hmph," Boss snorted. "I could get there easily, but I see your point. The rest of you can't Tidal Swim, and there isn't a boat in a hundred miles that can withstand those hell-pools." To punctuate the point, a passing seabird landed on the waters—and was promptly sucked in with nary a squawk.

    I allowed a smirk to come over my expression as I scanned the docks. "Oh, now, I wouldn't quite say that." My smirk widened as I caught sight of my intended target and pointed. "Look, see? There's a rowboat we can use."

    Boss eyed the rinky-dink tub for a second before affixing me with a flat look. "I've said this plenty of times before, usually half-joking, but now I say it with the utmost sincerity: You're mad."

    "Do I need to give your head another check, Cross, because I will!" Chopper concurred.

    "Now, now, hear me out," I said placatingly. "I realize that this must sound insane, but really, all we need to do to make that vessel seaworthy is say four simple words!"

    "Oh, yeah?" Boss cocked a thoroughly unimpressed eyebrow, which was quite a feat, seeing as he didn't actually have brows. "And what would those words be?"

    Upon that prompting, I spun on my heel and pointed. "Franky, do the—!" My words died in my throat when I realized that Franky was, in fact, gone. "Thing… what the—?"

    "Gimme a second, will you?" the voice of the cyborg in question spoke up—from the direction of the boat!?

    Five jaws crashed through the dock as we snapped our heads around and observed the result of taking our eyes off of Franky for ten seconds.

    "I'm not quite satisfied with the veneer on the aft side…" the shipwright-cum-mob-boss groused as he ran his hand over the now deluxe-grade rowboat's hull.

    I gaped for a second longer before forcing my jaw to snap shut. "Franky? You're nitpicking after you just turned a flimsy, common rowboat into the most downright awesome rowboat outside of Mariejois in ten seconds flat!" I pointed out, too awestruck to be exasperated.

    "Nine-point-six-five seconds, actually," Franky snorted in disgust. "That fight with the little guy took it out of me. I mean, you can tell just from looking at my work!"

    We all gave the rowboat—nay, the miniature ship!—a look before Boss coughed uncomfortably. "Alright, I'll bite: what makes this boat so subpar in your eyes?"

    "Well, just for starters, no gun emplacement."

    Boss raised a flipper and opened his mouth before slowly closing it. "…Withdrawn. Because I have no response to that," he muttered.

    "I don't think there is a response to that…" Chopper offered.

    That managed to get my brain into gear. "I can think of one." So saying, I snatched up a nearby coil of rope and tossed it to Boss.

    "Strap up," I grinned eagerly. "It's time for us to go out there and be Big Damn Heroes."

    My grin grew wider in response to the ones everyone was now sporting.

    -Present-

    Another lurch shook me out of my reminiscing, and I looked up to see how much time I had left before I got off this legitimately psychotic ride.

    The bad news on that front was that the World Government clearly didn't want anybody unwelcome getting even close to the Bridge of Hesitation, because these damn whirlpools were massive and we were a hell of a ways away.

    Hell, it looked like we were barely even halfway there!

    In an attempt to distract myself, I began considering exactly what I could and would do to Spandam once we got there, but my thoughts were cut off yet again, only this time, it was on account of the smoke and muzzle flashes that started showing up along the top of the Bridge.

    And that could only mean one thing.

    "Looks like your girls are running into some resistance," Franky said, voicing my own conclusion.

    I nodded in numb agreement as I felt cold sweat run down my neck along with the saltwater spray. "Here's hoping that they're strong enough to either hold the line or break their enemies until we get there."

    'Or else we're screwed,' I didn't add.

    -o-

    "Captain?"

    "Mmm?"

    "You do realize that the only reason I haven't mutinied is the fact that we're currently experiencing a bullshit amount of good luck, worthy of the Straw Hat Pirates, right?"

    "Mmm-hmm…"

    "Just wanted to check." With that, the Barto Club's first mate stood up from the prow and started walking aft, dutifully observing his crewmates as they went about their respective businesses. It was a somewhat dull job, admittedly, given how nobody had much anything to do, but it was a task that had to be done. After all, somebody had to keep the thoroughly undisciplined crew in check somehow. Even if, more often than not, that 'discipline' resulted in distributing a few extra concussions.

    A hand hesitantly tugging on his sleeve broke him out of his patrol, and he looked with no surprise to see Miss Valentine standing there, a vacant look in her eyes.

    "Let me guess: you want to know if this is a dream, right?" he deadpanned.

    "Can you really blame me for asking more than once when we're in a situation like this?" she droned, her voice utterly broken.

    "More than once, maybe not." His already flat expression grew ever flatter. "But once a minute for the past five minutes? That's a little much."

    "We're sailing through the Calm Belt, being towed and guarded by Sea Kings," the chocolatier droned as she lifted an arm up to point at the half-dozen aquatic behemoths flanking the Cannibal.

    Gin warily eyed the titans. Indeed, as Valentine had said, the Cannibal was being towed by a number of Sea Kings. Adolescents, admittedly, going by how they were only about as big as Marine Battleships as opposed to small mountains, but Sea Kings nonetheless. Said Sea Kings were pulling the Cannibal through the unnaturally placid waters of the Calm Belt via a combination of ropes and barrier-harnesses that they were biting into.

    It was an incredible sight, an impossible sight, but it was a real sight nonetheless, no matter how much Gin's much-abused sanity protested.

    "No, Valentine, once again: this is not a dream," Gin emphasized firmly. "Now, if you wouldn't mind doing me a favor and breaking the cycle?"

    Valentine blinked slowly before nodding lethargically. "Alright, then, in that case…" the ex-assassin muttered before turning her focus over to her partner. "Mr. 5," she called out. "I think we may have to try letting go of our grudge against the Straw Hats."

    The bomb-man looked up from the revolver he was cleaning with a surprised blink. "What makes you say that?"

    Valentine returned her gaze to the Sea Kings with a heavy gulp. "Because the only way that we could have ever been even half this lucky is if their stupid good fortune rubbed off on us big time. Or hell," she chuckled in a distinctly unhinged manner. "If even the slightest speck of it brushed off on us, for that matter…"

    Gin's expression became wary, and he took a careful step back. "Oookay," he bit out as he took Valentine's shoulders and gently turned her towards the forecastle. "Why don't you go ahead and lie down for a while? Until the world starts making sense again, yeah?"

    Valentine's head bobbed like… well, a bobblehead as she ambled forwards, her unstable smile still plastered in place. "Sure thing," she breathed as she ambled away. "I'll just go count adolescent Millennial Dragons."

    Gin watched her go with no small amount of pity; at least until he felt a needle jab into his temper in the form of a particular voice.

    "Can I go sleep forever, too?" Miss Goldenweek asked in her usual dead tone. "Not because I'm unhinged, mind you, I'm just bored."

    "No. Get back to work."

    Goldenweek's expression somehow becomes even flatter. "Doing what?" she demanded as she spread her arms.

    Gin steamed for a moment before turning away and marching back up to the prow. Once there, he whistled and called out. "How's it looking, Apis?"

    The Whisper-girl smiled and waved from the head of the Sea King she and her more normal mount were riding. "Fine, thanks! They say we should reach our destination by noon tomorrow!"

    "And… you're sure we can trust your new friends?" Gin questioned with an uncomfortable glance at the monumental entities around them.

    Apis smiled kindly. "Of course! After all—" She leaned forward and patted the cow-like head of the Sea King she was riding. "They're childhood friends with Mohmoo, and Mohmoo's a new friend of mine! Right, Mohmoo?"

    The relatively small Sea King leaned into the girl's hand with a pleased—if excessively loud—'moo'.

    Gin cocked his eyebrow as he observed the odd trio and thought back to the circumstances that had led to the bovine Sea King becoming an acquaintance of the Barto Club.

    A few hours back, when the Cannibal had been surrounded by Sea Kings and about to be made lunch, he and everyone who hadn't been part of Bartolomeo's mafia before forming a pirate crew, along with almost half of those who had, had come very, very close to bashing their captain's face in, barriers or no, for leading them into the deadliest of oceans without any significant plan of survival in mind.

    All but one: though Lindy had seemed murderous, probably out of concern for Apis, the Whisper-girl in question had screamed out, using both her voice and powers to plead with the Sea Kings to leave them alone.

    Remarkably, they had paused in response to the outcry and actually regarded one another with what had appeared to be confusion. Then the cow had piped up on their behalf, apparently saying something about how 'she seems nice' and the next thing they knew, the Barto Club found themselves being questioned about why they were in the Calm Belt, or rather 'the Nest', as they apparently called it. And equally remarkably, while they were rather infuriated upon learning about the pirates' reasons for entering the Grand Line, the focus of their rage wasn't them.

    Apparently, for reasons that they merely described as 'a promise', there was no small amount of bad blood festering between the Sea Kings and the World Government, even if said grudge was only one-sided. As such, the Sea Kings found the idea of sticking one to their apparently age-old foe, however tangentially, to be supremely appealing.

    As such, Mohmoo had quickly gathered up several of his brethren and recruited their aid in towing his new friend and herfriends through the Sea King nest, to a location where the pirates would be able to hunker down until the search for them was over.

    With that in mind, Gin half-smiled and nodded at Apis before turning to look back at the ex-Baroque Works Agents on deck. "And this destination of yours, you sure it'll be safe?"

    "Almost positive," Miss Goldenweek called up as she started on another rice cracker. "The World Government doesn't keep track of Cactus Island; it was an unnamed, uninhabited island until Baroque Works made it a base four years ago. Pirates had a one-in-seven chance of going there, which was good enough to make it a bounty hunter nest, and barely any civilians who passed through it actually lived to tell of it on account of how the next island down that chain is basically a dead-end. You can guess from the fact that we made good money off of it until the Straw Hats interfered that nobody really strong ever showed up there."

    "And now that Baroque Works is finished, the town is either abandoned or, more likely, being used as a refuge by our failed agents," Mr. 5 picked up as he reconstructed his pistol. "Nobody will think to look for us there unless they were part of Baroque Works, and personally?" He finished the procedure by locking the gun's cylinder back into place. "I doubt that anyone who'll be in the Mutt's vicinity will fit that bill."

    Gin nodded in reassurance before turning a smirk on his captain. "Hear that, Captain? It sounds like we might just make it out of this shitfest you dropped us into alive after all! Ain't that grand?"

    "Mmph mu," the pirate captain growled through the bandages he was practically mummified in with a roll of his eyes.

    Gin allowed himself a chuckle, but looking back at the crew, it appeared that there really wasn't anything more for him to do as the de facto quartermaster; no weather or navigation problems, no worry of attack, not even any rambunctiousness to quash. They were currently making ludicrously good time and managing to go around slightly less than half the world in little more than a day. It was… awe-inspiring, really. He was actually preparing himself to take a leaf out of Goldenweek's book and spend the next few hours napping—

    "You know, Valentine forgot something," a very deliberately calm voice spoke up tersely.

    Gin and Bartolomeo snapped their attention over to Mr. 5, who'd joined them on the prow and was staring off the starboard quarter with a spyglass.

    "…And what would that be, dare I ask?" Gin questioned.

    "It's pretty simple, really…"

    Without warning, the Cannibal suddenly lurched to a halt, tossing almost half of the Barto Club on their asses and staggering the rest.

    The resultant confusion sufficed to break Bartolomeo's concentration, and caused the makeshift barrier harnesses the Sea Kings had been biting into to dissipate; and while Mohmoo stayed frozen ahead of the galleon, apparently paralyzed, his friends wasted no time in diving into the water and disappearing from sight.

    Slowly and painfully, the rest of the crew got back on their feet, with Gin groaning and shaking his head as he tried to get his wits back. "What the hell—?"

    "If the Straw Hats' luck really rubbed off on us…" Mr. 5 grit out as he continued to stare into the distance, all but throttling his spyglass in the process. "It means that all their luck rubbed off on us. The good, and the bad. Case in point?" The ex-assassin lowered the tool with a heavy swallow. "The reason that the Sea Kings just ran away is that the Kuja Pirates and their Yuda serpents are heading straight for us."

    The lack of response from most of the crew had a substitute in the form of Miss Goldenweek going pale and her rice cracker falling from her numb fingers. Everyone, Gin included, turned to her for clarification.

    The painter swallowed heavily as she fought to keep her nerve. "That's the crew of Boa Hancock. The Snake Princess of Amazon Lily, the Pirate Empress, the world's most beautiful woman…" She took a fearful step back from the horizon. "…And the only female among the Seven Warlords of the Sea."

    There was a moment of silence as everyone processed the implications of that statement, and then…

    "WHAAAAAAT?!"

    The Cannibal practically jumped into the air from the sheer force of the crew's outcry.

    "AGAIN!? SERIOUSLY!?" Gin roared, his gaze turned towards the heavens. "SCREW THREE TIMES, THIS IS NOTHING SHORT OF ENEMY ACTION ON A DIVINE SCALE, PLAIN AND SIMPLE!"

    "Preach it, brother…" Mr. 5 sighed as he drew his revolver and started repeatedly spinning its cylinder. "This just ain't funny. Once is one thing, but twice? Leave this kind of madness to the Straw Hats, they're the ones who like it."

    "What do we do, what do we do, what do we do!?" Apis repeated to herself as she shook her head frantically, so deep in her panic that she didn't notice Lindy doing her best to calm her as he flew back onto the boat.

    However, as the Barto Club all ran around in varying states of panic, it was their captain's reaction that was by far the most pronounced; without a hint of warning, he suddenly tore off his bandages with an incredulous roar as he stood tall and proud.

    "ALRIGHT, YOU YELLOW-BELLIED BITCHES, ENOUGH WHINING FOR MOMMY! IN CASE YOU ALL HAPPENED TO FORGET, WE'VE GOT A WARLORD COMING DOWN ON OUR ASSES! ALL HANDS TO STATIONS! GRAB YOUR ARMS AND PREPARE FOR BATTLE!" the sharp-toothed pirate bellowed, drawing all attention to him. "THAT MEANS RIGHT NOW, YOU MORONS!"

    "How in the hell are you not even fazed by the death sentence bearing down on us?!" Goldenweek demanded incredulously.

    "Ooooh, trust me, I am scared shitless right now," Bartolomeo chuckled as he pointed at his visibly trembling legs. "But! If I've learned anything from the Straw Hats' exploits, it's that in situations like this, where your death is all but guaranteed no matter what the hell you do? You've only got two options: curl up in a puddle of your own piss, or face it head-on. Now…" Bartolomeo's grin widened tauntingly. "I don't know about the rest of you shit-for-spines…" He rapped his fist on his abdomen. "But I'm clean out of piss from earlier! SO! Who's with me!?"

    For a few seconds, the pirates of the Barto Club were silent as they processed their captain's words, but soon enough they found enough vim and vigor to raise their fists and swords to the air and roar with bloodlust.

    "You realize that we're all going to die, right?" Gin deadpanned as he absent-mindedly spun the ball-tipped tonfas he'd drawn from somewhere.

    Bartolomeo dropped his smirk in favor of a scowl. "Yeah, true enough… but with any luck? We'll be able to do one thing that that coward Krieg never managed with Hawk-Eye."

    "Oh yeah?" The Cold-Hearted Demon cocked an eyebrow out of morbid curiosity. "And what's that?"

    Bartolomeo re-donned his grin, only this time with a feral gleam in his eyes. "We're gonna make that cocky bitch remember our names for the rest of her life even if it's the last damn thing we do."

    Gin stared at his captain in stunned silence before eagerly mirroring his expression. "Aye-aye, sir!"

    Bartolomeo held his grin for a moment as he watched his first mate run off to coordinate the crew before adopting a scowl as he observed the speck approaching on the horizon.

    "Sorry, Straw Hats…" he muttered to himself. "I know you need all the support you can get, and I'd cheer you on if I could, but right now…"

    He bared his teeth as he cracked his knuckles.

    "I've got my own damn problems to worry about."

    -o-

    SLAM! "AGH!"

    CRACK! "GAH!"

    Conis and Vivi grunted in pain as they were flung onto their backs, taking the opportunity to catch their breath and gather their wits.

    "I take it that you're not having an easy time either?" Conis groaned as she sat up and rubbed the back of her head.

    "The damn bastard hits like a tank!" the princess wheezed, clutching her stomach as a thoroughly agitated Carue helped pull her to her feet.

    "You're lucky…" The gunner shook her head as she pushed herself up. "Mine hits like Luffy."

    "Hmph. So, these are the Straw Hat Pirates that have been giving the Navy so much trouble?"

    The pirate women winced and shot glares that were equal parts hateful and fearful at the Marines.

    Captain Gorilla snorted heavily as he tapped his rifle in his palm. "And Akainu was pushing for Onigumo and Doberman to come instead of us. I'm going to have to push for someone to run an investigation into Commodore Smoker, because if he's been having trouble with capturing these people, then he's either incompetent or he's grown soft."

    "BAH! What does it matter, CRASH?" Captain Sharinguru smirked as he slammed his fists together and started grinding them against one another. "So they've managed to make it this far, KA-WHAM, so what? Villains get lucky from time to time, sure, but they will never stand a chance in a straight fight against we heroes of justice, BA-BAM! Today, the angel fallen from grace and the traitorous princess will meet their justified ends here at Enies Lobby, SA-LAM!"

    Conis blinked in confusion before casting a hesitant glance at Vivi. "Dooo you have any idea what's wrong with him?"

    "I caught a mention of the lie of how I got my bounty, but besides that, I think he's just insane," Vivi grit out irritably, before wincing and clutching a road rash that had torn clean through one of her arm warmers. "Doesn't stop him from being strong as heck, though. Every time I try attacking him with my Cutters he manages to parry with his abilities and reel me in, and the friction from his wheels is hellish!"

    Conis swallowed heavily as she eyed her own burly opponent, reaching behind her back and clutching the grip of her shotgun. "I understand where you're coming from. I thought that Franky and our crewmates were tough, but this guy is some sort of unholy cross between Yama and Gedatsu. It doesn't matter how many times I shoot him, he just shrugs it off! It's insane!"

    Carue swallowed heavily as he interposed himself between his friend and the Marines. "Qua—way thish is gonna be ea—Wha?!" the duck jerked back and squawked in shock as he realized that he was actually speaking instead of… well, squawking.

    The sudden dialogue caused everyone, pirate and Marine alike, to pause in shock.

    Su was quick to smirk and flick her tail. "Looks like you guys aren't quite so cocky anymore now that we have reinforcements on the way, huh?" she needled.

    Sharinguru was equally quick to rally, scoffing and jabbing his finger at the Straw Hats. "Foolish villains, PSHOO! It matters not whether you face us with one or one hundred allies, we—!"

    "Less talking, more acting," Gorilla interrupted.

    The Wheel-Man promptly snapped his mouth shut with an aggravated growl and stalked forward, the sleeves of his arms blurring into a spin.

    Vivi took a hesitant step back before steeling her expression and starting to spin her own Cutter in turn. "Alright," she muttered to herself. "We have help coming now, so we don't have to win anymore, but they're still a mile out and we're not making any progress against these two." The princess angled her head so that she could stare down the bridge and grimaced. "Robin's already halfway down the bridge. Unless we get to her fast…" She winced as she came to the obvious conclusion, and glanced to her avian companion. "Carue, you need to run ahead and save Robin!"

    "WHAT!?" Carue screeched in shock. "Are you—!?"

    "Carue!" Vivi snapped firmly. "There are almost a hundred Marines between us and her and you're the only one fast enough to make it past them unmolested!"

    "B-B-But I can't weave you awone!" Carue shook his head desperately. "If Ah've said it once, Ah've said it a dozen times, Ah won't evah weave—!"

    "CARUE!"

    The duck choked off his protests, and everyone on the bridge within earshot flinched, for Vivi had pinned the duck in place with a firm glare. "The reason we're in the middle of all of this in the first place is so that we can rescue Robin from being dragged off to hell. If that…" Vivi trailed off with a murderous scowl. "If that dead-man-walking manages to take her away, then everything we've done in the last few hours will be for nothing." However, as swiftly as her fury appeared, it dissipated in place of pure confidence. "We'll be fine, Carue. We'll do what we can do, you do what you can do, alright?"

    Carue hesitated for a moment more before he gritted his teeth and pawed his talons on the ground. "Awight… one shecond… ten shteps in one shecond…"

    "Stop that duck, HALT!" Sharinguru exclaimed as he swung his fist forward.

    "That one's a stretch, Sharinguru," Gorilla said even as he leveled his gun at the bird.

    However, the Captains barely even made it a step apiece—

    "NOT A CHANCE!"

    "GRGH!"/"DAMN!"

    —before Conis slammed her forearm into Gorilla's rifle, knocking its barrel upward, while Vivi snagged the full length of her Lion Cutter's chains on the Captain's wheels. The sheer jerk nearly wrenched her off her feet, but it did halt the Wheel-man's charge.

    They only managed to stop them for a moment before the Captains managed to shove them back.

    "And SHAVE!" the duck called out before flashing out of sight.

    But it was more than long enough.

    "Damn it!" Gorilla cursed as he watched the oversized fowl tear through the soldiers behind him.

    Vivi smirked as she rewound her Lion Cutters. "You lose."

    -o-

    The world ground to a crawl for Carue as he dashed forward and dodged around the Marines that had just enough awareness to react to him, forcing himself to keep his gaze ahead instead of looking back at his charge and best friend as she faced down two Marine Captains. It hurt like hell, yes, but in the end, it didn't change the fact that she was right; if that wretch got away with Robin, the best result they could hope for was a pyrrhic victory, and that was a stretch.

    As he ran, the Royal Captain of the Supersonic Duck Squadron reflected on the irony of his current situation: risking his neck and potentially Vivi's in order to save a woman that he would have gladly stomped flat into the earth a thousand times over not even half a year ago. That, alongside the sheer degree to which she had grown on him since then, served to hammer home just how much the Straw Hats had changed him.

    He hadn't fully forgiven her, and he knew that Vivi hadn't either, but the fact was that he had at least managed to accept that she wasn't Miss All Sunday anymore, she was just Robin, his crewmate, his… his friend.

    Carue gritted his teeth together even harder as he took stock of the opposition that remained between him and the object of his mission. Apart from about a dozen or so soldiers standing in his way and the shield-carrying entourage surrounding him, Spandam was straight ahead, and, more importantly, so was Robin. A malicious grin split the duck's lips as he spread his wings, preparing himself to cut Robin away from that damn son of a—

    "GET HIM, FUNKFREED!"

    Carue blinked in confusion when Spandam suddenly shouted out. 'Funkfreed? What's a Funk—?'

    "BARAAAAG!"

    "SHIT!" Carue squawked in panic when a mass of white suddenly filled his vision, and he was forced to dig his talons into the stone and flap his wings in order to keep his balance and prevent himself from crashing into whatever the hell had just gotten in his way. The second he came to a halt and reality snapped back into motion, his eyes widened in panic as they processed what was now in front of him, part of his mind flashing back to Cross' words back on the Rocketman:

    'The only weapon he has besides his authority is a sword that ate the Elephant-Elephant Fruit. And an elephant, bladed trunk or not, shouldn't be a problem for any of you.'

    'Not a problem my unsightly feathered ass!' the duck mentally groused as he stared up at the ivory-tusked behemoth that was glaring down at him. Once he recovered, however, he grit his teeth and glared right back. 'Tch! Well, not like I have a choice here.'

    "Outta my way, fatass!" he squawked before sprinting forwards, lashing his talon-armor out and slashing at the elephant's leg.

    He then paled in horror when his blades harmlessly skittered off with a flurry of sparks and a clang of steel-on-steel. The duck staggered back as he watched the area he'd struck shimmer like…

    "…That's actuawwy steew, isn't it?" he whimpered fearfully.

    Funkfreed's only response was to narrow his eyes.

    "Yeah, well… how do ya wike dis?!" Carue squawked as he bolted to the side, intent on dodging around the elephant-sword. After all, it was an elephant, how fast could it possibly—?

    "WACK!" Carue yelped as he ground to yet another halt when Funkfreed suddenly showed up in front of him again, only rather than a whole elephant, he was in what had to be his hybrid form, seeing as his trunk was a full-on blade and his lower half had morphed into a… serpent-like form that ended in a… hilt…

    The duck swallowed heavily as he took a step back. "Yoah twansfomation makes you weawwy fast, doesn't it?"

    A hint of a smirk peeked out from beneath the elephant's trunk.

    Carue whimpered miserably as he reached up and slammed his visor down over his eyes. "Thish ish gonna suck…"

    -o-

    Conis juked left as a rifle bullet ricocheted off the stone of the bridge where she'd been standing before, then rolled to the right as the butt of Gorilla's rifle smashed through where her torso should have been.

    Once she had some breathing room, Conis swung her blunderbuss out and fired it in a single smooth motion. Still, in spite of her lack of aiming, the loaded shell flew true. At least, it did until Gorilla used his gun to smack a loose piece of debris into the projectile's path and force an early detonation.

    "Not again," the gunner groaned as she unslung her Burn Bazooka (so far the only thing her opponent bothered dodging,which he managed with an uncanny degree of agility) and shoved her blunderbuss back in its holster behind her back.

    "Complain less, dodge more! INCOMING!"

    "Wha—GAH!" Conis gasped as she threw herself to the side, only just managing to dodge yet another bullet—only to notice too late that it wasn't a bullet that struck the bricks, but rather the rifle's butt instead. The angel barely had enough time to shield herself with her Burn Bazooka as Gorilla turned on his heel and swung the rifle into her, the sheer impact jarring Conis through her cannon and sending her crashing onto her ass.

    "Ow…" Conis winced as she rubbed the part of her anatomy she'd landed on before casting a glare over her shoulder. "Nice read there, cottontail!"

    "Hey, what do you want from me!?" Su snapped back. "The bastard's a walking brick, there's jack and shit in body language for me to read!"

    "Still—!"

    "So, that's how you're doing it…"

    Conis and Su snapped their attention back to Gorilla , who was looking them over with an annoyed expression. "I was wondering how you were managing to dodge or parry every single attack I threw at you. The fox is reading my movements?"

    Su hesitated for a moment before sniffing proudly. "Of course I am!" she proclaimed. "We foxes are notoriously smart, and I spent most of my life traipsing through a jungle where everything not me wanted to eat me, so I know how to read a swing." She then furrowed her brow irritably. "Your freakish body's just making that difficult, is all!"

    Gorilla dismissed the blatant insult with a snort. "Well, then. If unpredictability is out the window, maybe I should just try the simpler approach."

    Conis sagged miserably. "Oh, this is going to—UGH!"

    The angel grunted as she blocked yet another swing with her cannon. And then another and another and another, the overly-burly captain pounding away at Conis' defense with a barrage that was at once utterly predictable and nigh unstoppable.

    The only thing she could do was keep her Bazooka in the way and backpedal as best she could, and as the dents developing in the barrel demonstrated, that was a stopgap strategy at best.

    Meanwhile, the Straw Hats' negotiator was having only marginally more luck with her own opponent.

    "JUSTICE GAZELLE!"

    That is to say, absolutely no luck at all.

    It was only via swift reflexes and a load of luck that Vivi was barely able to catch the swiftly-spinning, leg-powered uppercut on the chain of her Lion Cutters, gritting her teeth as the sheer force of the revolutions hit her even through her weapon, shaking her bones and threatening to grind through the chain. Luckily, the punch also shoved her back a few feet, giving her just enough space to get some spin on her Lion Cutters and swing one of them at the offending and still-extended limb. And like the last few times she'd attempted it, she was barely able to keep the weapon from being torn out of her hands as what had to be metal plating hiding under the Captain's clothes slapped the blade away at high speeds.

    "JUSTICE SMASH!"

    The princess had only just managed to recover her balance and weapon when she was forced to duck under yet another revolving haymaker that would have plowed straight through her skull. When the Captain's other fist snapped out at her, however, she was forced to swing out her cutters and dig them into the stone before forcefully yanking herself out of the way of the blow, though not without the very edge of the limb managing to score a gash in her cheek.

    Once she rolled to her feet and recovered her balance, Vivi hastily started weighing her options as she eyed her opponent.

    It was a depressingly short list.

    'That armor he's hiding is forcefully deflecting any physical attacks,' she thought grimly, before wincing and snapping a hand to the bleeding scrape on her face. 'And his punches have to be completely dodged or they'll do more than just bruise, and while I might be flexible, he's leagues faster than I am.' She bit out a pained tsk. 'Right, that's it, I'm having Carue teach me Shave after this. And Iron Body from Zoro and Tempest Kick from—!'

    "JUSTICE…"

    Vivi snapped herself out of her thoughts and braced herself as Sharinguru tensed in preparation for… something. 'Right, plan out how to become a better fighter later, survive now! Hopefully whatever he uses won't be anything too—!'

    "SANDSTORM!"

    "Wait, wha—!?"

    Without warning, the heels of the Captain's feet turned spun into blurs themselves, kicking up a dust cloud at Vivi. It was only years of experience dealing with windblown sand that allowed Vivi to maintain her composure and dodge the air-rending haymaker that followed soon afterward, but the familiarity of the attack struck Vivi like a bolt of lightning once she had a second to recover.

    "Hey!" Vivi pointed an accusatory finger at the Marine. "That move was totally a rip-off of Sora's—!" She suddenly choked off as another realization clicked into place. The princess then groaned in weary resignation. "Oh, Horus… the sound effects, the talk of heroes and villains, naming your attacks 'justice' this and 'justice' that… You… You actuallythink that you're Sora, Warrior of the Seas, don't you? You think that you're some kind of-of comicbook superhero!"

    The Wheel-man paused at that, slowly turning around to face her with his head bowed and his shoulders shaking. At first, she thought he was crying, but then she heard the laughter.

    "Hahaha… 'think'? Oh, you foolish, foolish villain…"

    Gorilla paused his onslaught as he slapped a hand to his face and groaned. "Oh, perfect, now you've gone and done it."

    Sharinguru snapped a finger skyward, and planted his fist on his hip as he bellowed at the sky. "I DO NOT THINK I AM A SUPERHERO, I AM A SUPERHERO!" he proclaimed proudly. "I AM CAPTAIN SHARINGURU, HERO OF JUSTICE AND DEFEATER OF EVIL!" He then swung his finger down so that it was pointing at Vivi's face as he gave her a winning smile. Vivi had to fight to keep from barfing as sunlight glinted off his stupidly shiny white teeth. "Let me tell you something, worthless villain! You think I ripped off Sora, that I think that I am him? YOU HAVE IT BACKWARDS!" He swung his thumb at his chest. "Rather, Sora is I! I am the real-life inspiration for the world-renowned adventures of Sora, Warrior of the Seas!"

    Conis blinked at the masked Captain in surprise. "Is… he really that famous?"

    "Only partially…" Gorilla groaned as he kneaded the bridge of his nose. "Sora's a composite of the exploits of several different Marine Captains, but Sharinguru's always been a big fan. After he beat a Germa battalion and had the tale published, he got it into his head that he's legitimately a 'hero of Justice'. It's asinine, but I can't say it doesn't keep him motivated."

    "Personally, I just say that it's sickening!" Spandam's voice piped up, apparently carried by Soundbite. "Honestly, that buffoon is worse than Kumadori!"

    "This may be the only thing that I ever agree with you on," Robin's voice growled out.

    The latter voice managed to snap Vivi out of her stunned state, and she shook her head before refocusing on her opponent and crossing her Cutters defensively. "I don't care if you're a hero or a saint, we're still going to beat you down and take Robin back with us."

    Unfortunately, that only got Sharinguru to throw his head back and roar anew, only this time his laughter had a distinctly mocking overtone to it. "Oh, you poor, foolish, naïve villain! Know you nothing about how the world works? Allow me to explain the facts!" He pointed at her again. "You and your ilk are the villainous pirates, heinous enemies of justice who represent all that is sick and evil in this world!" He then pointed back at himself and at Gorilla. "And we are the mighty and heroic Marines, defenders of justice and paragons of good! No matter what you try to accomplish, we will lay you low, and once anew, JUSTICE will prevail! Why, you ask!?"

    Wheels roared over the Captain's body as he pumped his arms back with his fists turned upwards. "BECAUSE HEROES NEVER LOSE!" he declared for all the world to hear.

    Vivi twitched slightly at the words, a grimace flashing across her mouth. "If only that were true…" she whispered under her breath. As swift as the grimace came, however, she shook off her forlorn expression in favor of properly analyzing her enemy. "But that's neither here nor there. Right now, what's important is that I know that I'm dealing with a total nutjob, and that's a good thing. You know why?"

    The princess allowed a slight smirk to cross her face as she flipped one of her Cutters into a reverse grip and spun up the other. "Because when it comes to dealing with crazy people," she declared proudly. "I have more experience than you can possibly imagine."

    "…I do not envy your crew in the least," Gorilla deadpanned as he returned his full attention back to Conis.

    "Nor should you," Su agreed sagely.

    "After all, they're not for everyone." Conis redoubled her grip on her Burn Bazooka and held it up proudly. "Rather, it's an acquired taste."

    And with that, the battles recommenced in earnest.

    Meanwhile, however, further down the bridge, the mind of the person who was the entire object of the endeavor was awhirl. No longer did she wish the crew—her crew wasn't risking their lives for her, that train of thought had been banished to oblivion when she heard him speak through Soundbite. No, at this point, she was more worried about whether they would actually be able to reach her in time.

    While normally Robin would have been perfectly fine with just being patient and waiting for her friends to rescue her, the fact was that in spite of her protests and struggling she was already over halfway across the bridge, and due to the shield-toting Marines flanking her and her captor, Usopp had been unable to do more than annoy them.

    Robin bit her lip as she weighed her options. Obviously, she couldn't fight back physically, not while her handcuffs were binding her arms and, more pressingly, her powers. True, with Funkfreed absent, her chances with resisting were better than ever, but the fact remained that she was being flanked by a number of actually capable soldiers, which meant that if she tried to attack Spandam in any way then she would be met with fierce retribution, or, in the absolute worst-case scenario, rendered unconscious to remove any chance of fighting back.

    Robin glanced ahead at the far-too-swiftly approaching gate before bowing her head with a shudder of fear. Yes, death was slightly more preferable than waking up in either of the locations beyond, with no hope of ever seeing her crew again.

    As for her other options… well, her 'feminine wiles', to put it politely were one tool she'd liberally exploited in the past, but…

    Robin shot a single glance at Spandam before shuddering heavily. Even if the target in this scenario weren't an entity even lower than most earthworms, the fact still remained that in all likelihood the only sexual attraction Spandam felt was for himself.

    As it stood, the situation seemed to be utterly hopeless… save for one possible option.

    Said option was one that Robin had had hammered home more than she'd ever thought possible in her time with the crew; an option that Cross liberally demonstrated time and time again: that words were capable of shattering barriers that no amount of physical force could ever hope to crack. If she could just distract Spandam long enough from his goal, make him concentrate on something other than moving forward…

    Admittedly, Spandam's short temper and throbbing ego made it a supremely risky option, but if it was the only way she had to fight back, the only way she could buy her crew the time they so desperately needed? Then she would employ it to the best of her, in her not so humble opinion, well-honed abilities.

    'Still, pretty words aside, going by Cross's track record thus far…' Robin glanced upwards with a pained grimace. "This is likely going to hurt.'

    "You know," Robin began. "I find it odd that you don't feel at all threatened by CP9."

    "Huh?" Spandam turned to her with a genuinely puzzled look. "Why in the world should I be, woman!? It's not like they would ever turn against me, I'm their chief!"

    The archaeologist hid a groan at the fact that he hadn't stopped moving before continuing. "I'm simply considering that they're all, in your own words, 'easily superhuman'. Meanwhile, you're someone who literally anyone on this island would be guaranteed to beat in a fight. And as Lucci and his comrades have aptly demonstrated, they are more than capable of directing operations completely independent of you. So the question is…" She tilted her head just so. "What possible reason do they have to refrain from turning on you?"

    If Robin was expecting some grand reaction from her statement, she was disappointed when Spandam merely scoffed and brushed her words off. "Please, as if they would ever even consider it! I'm their beloved chief, I'm far too crucial for them to even so much as consider harming me."

    Robin's eye twitched slightly as she cast her mind back to a mere few minutes ago. 'Oh perfect, his delusions of grandeur are so powerful that they're actively altering his memories.' Nevertheless, she forced a smirk that held more confidence than she actually felt (in reality, it was taking all of her training to maintain her composure in face of the metal horizon she was approaching) and pressed on. "Really, now? What is it that you do, exactly?"

    Spandam tilted his head back with a proud snort. "Why, I'm the one who gives them their missions, of course! I read through the intel collected from the other pols, I decide what's pertinent and what isn't, and then I deploy them! I'm also the one who runs all of the logistics and finances for the missions." He gave a full-body shudder at some unseen memory. "You would not believe the kind of people I've had to brownnose to get the budget I need, especially given the sheer amounts of collateral they tend to leave behind…" As fast as his mood came, it passed. "Furthermore—!"

    "Oh, no need, I understand completely," Robin interrupted with a beatific smile. "You're their glorified secretary. How nice."

    That struck a nerve with the man, his expression instantly contorting into an angered scowl. But it didn't cause him to stop moving. And as Robin took that in along with the approaching gates, her composure crumbled. As such, her next words weren't so much a calculated barb as they were ramblings born of panicked desperation.

    "You're not even capable of denying it, are you? You're nothing but a figurehead for CP9! You're just as worthless without your subordinates as that monster who triggered the Buster Call on Oh—!"

    CLICK!

    Robin's words died when she became aware of two facts: First, that Spandam was looking at her with an expression of pure and utter hatred, and that second, he was holding a pistol taken from a nearby Marine's belt in his hands and had its muzzle less than an inch from her forehead.

    "That… monster… as you called him…" Spandam hissed viciously through clenched teeth. "Was my father."

    Robin sucked in a panicked gasp as she realized… she'd fucked up. 'Oh, shit.'

    "Chief Spandam! Our orders are to take her in—!"

    BLAM! "AGH!"

    Everyone on the bridge froze in mixed shock and horror as Spandam fired a round into the (technically) insubordinate Marine's shoulder before returning the gun to its initial aim, all without even glancing to the side.

    "The heck is this, pow, some kind of anti-hero gambit or something, wham?" Sharinguru mused in confusion.

    "Spandam!" Captain Gorilla shouted. "What the hell do you think you're doing!? The mission—!"

    "The mission," Spandam spat venomously without ever diverting his attention. "Is no longer a priority. I've put up with this filthy demon's insolence up until now for the sake of the World Government. But now? Now I couldn't care if she were the bastard brat of one of the Five Elder Stars. From the day I became the highest authority in Enies Lobby, there is one decree I've made that has stood firm regardless of the circumstances: the penalty for insulting my father in front of me…"

    He pressed the muzzle of his gun between Robin's thoroughly terrified eyes and pulled the hammer back. "Is immediate execution. Goodbye, Devil Child. It's time for you to rejoin your mother and the rest of Ohara's demons in Hell."

    Time seemed to crawl for Vivi as she stared in naked horror at Spandam's finger, which had started the motion that would end Robin's life. Her crewmate was about to die. She was about to witness someone she cared about die. She was about to see someone die because she wasn't strong enough again!

    Without even thinking, Vivi's hands started to move. One went to her throat and fumbled with the bulb of metal hanging there, but even as her fingers slipped around it she knew that she'd never be able to get it open in time. As such, her other hand started to rise, reaching out in spite of the obvious futility of the gesture. But she didn't care. She couldn't even begin to care.

    "…stop…" The word slipped out of her mouth without her own knowledge.

    She had to do something, anything, she couldn't let this happen again, couldn't let it happen ever again!

    "Stop…!" the word came again, only this time with more heat, more will.

    Vivi panted as she observed the nightmare before her, as she witnessed how completely and utterly she was failing to make a damn difference.

    'This isn't fair…' she thought miserably, her mind choking and stalling in despair. 'I-I'm a royal. I'm a princess! I'm a Nefertari! By right and by blood I should be one of the most powerful people in the world…'

    Her face twisted up in a combination of fury and misery as her mind was filled with images: Images of a horizon set ablaze, images of a plaza filled with nothing but death, images of lightning and pain.

    'So why am I always left feeling so POWERLESS?!'

    If time had been crawling before, it completely froze the moment Spandam's finger reached the final millimeter. And as she saw, saw death about to snuff out a person who she'd all but despised twenty-four hours ago, Vivi… quite simply felt something in her mind snap. Something primal, something innate. And before she knew what she was doing—

    "STOOOOOOOP!"

    A voice roared over the bridge. It was only an instant later that she registered that it was, in fact, her voice.

    And though time seemed to resume for the world around her, the same could not be said for the people. Everybody in sight, Marine, Agent, and even her own comrades, were standing completely motionless, some in awkward positions. And one and all, their eyes were wide with fear and confusion.

    "What…" Vivi breathed in confusion. "What just—?"

    KA-BLAM!

    "GAGH!"

    The princess was broken out of her shock by an Exploding Star slamming into the face of a Marine who'd been about to swing his sword through her neck.

    Said explosion was enough to break whatever spell the bridge had fallen under, prompting the soldiers to scramble back into the defensive positions they'd been using to hide from the Straw Hats' sniper. Or, well… most of them did, anyway.

    "W't th' 'ell…?" Spandam ground out through his locked jaw. "Ah 'an't 'ove!"

    "And thank God for that," one of the soldiers guarding him scowled as he worked the pistol out of his fingers, while another dragged Robin out of his line of fire, causing her to sigh in relief—and then blink in confusion, as the soldiers made no attempt to force her closer to the Gates of Justice.

    "…Ah, not that I'm complaining, but why aren't you taking me to the Gates?" she asked warily.

    The nearest soldier rolled his eyes. "Because Spandam gave ironclad orders that nobody is to open the Gates until he's right there in person."

    "And despite the fact that he's clearly unstable," another soldier continued. "The only ones who can remove officials from their positions are those with rank or authority higher than theirs."

    "Much to our chagrin, as of today," said the one who had retrieved his pistol. "So, now we have to wait for whatever the heck that was to wear off." He cocked an eyebrow at the archaeologist. "And speaking of, since when the heck could your crewmates do that, anyway?"

    Robin hesitated slightly before casting a look back at her crewmates that was as much fond as it was bemused. "I was just asking myself that exact same question…"

    While Robin was almost too confused to feel relief at the new development, Vivi was in an even worse state on account of how not only was she just as confused as everyone else on the bridge, but Sharinguru and Gorilla had also gotten enough wherewithal back in their minds to renew their assaults. It was all the princess could do to dodge and parry her opponent's blows—and even that was a stretch—as she worked to puzzle out what in the name of Osiris's rotting blue testicles had just happened.

    'Everyone stopped…' Vivi forced her thoughts to start at the beginning of it all even as she ducked under a rotating lariat. 'I called for… well, for everyone to stop and they did. Maybe… Maybe I can do it again? Should I try to—AGH!' Vivi's train of thought derailed when she felt Sharinguru's elbow shave off a millimeter from the tip of her nose. 'Right, no choice. Here goes everything!'

    "Stop!" she yelled once more, and in response, the Captains… reflexively flinched for a moment before continuing with just as much intensity as before.

    Vivi suppressed a groan as she grit her teeth. 'Well, that sure as hell didn't work!' However, as swiftly as anger flashed through her mind she forced it all out via a calming sigh. 'Alright, alright, calm down… think it through. Think back to that feeling, that instant. When I… did whatever it was I did, I felt something like I'd never—!' Vivi marginally started in shock. 'No, no, th-that's wrong… that's wrong, I actually have felt whatever that was before!'

    In spite of the onslaught she found herself under, Vivi found her mind's eye being cast back. Back to Rainbase and to Smoker and Tashigi, back to Skypiea and to him. She hadn't paid it much mind at those times, her adrenaline and the situations had clouded her memories, but thinking back, her tirades against them, her using the name of her ancestors in spite of how much she loathed them, her speaking with as much force and power as she possibly could…

    At first, she'd thought it to be little more than the desperation of the situation combining with the fury of seeing her friends in danger. But now that she thought about it, actually considered it, she realized that it wasn't just desperation. In fact, rather than being any form of emotion at all, what had powered her words that day was nothing short of instinct. Some fundamental, core drive that she'd managed to pull from… somewhere or other.

    Vivi bit her lip both out of worry and irritation as she avoided a roundhouse kick from Sharinguru. 'Of course whatever the hell I did required instinct!' she thought sarcastically. 'What else would it need, considering how I'm a person of thought and planning who has as much instinct as a piece of damn plank—!' Vivi forced out another calming sigh. 'Alright… alright, let's try again. I need instinct. I just need to dig deep… deep… okay, let's try… THIS!'

    "STOP!" she commanded. This time, Sharinguru legitimately froze instead of flinching, but once again, that moment of pause was just that, a moment, a meager few seconds, before the Captain moved anew. It took Vivi everything she had to keep from spewing out a blue streak worthy of Zoro himself as she parried his ballistic fist.

    'ARGH! Four seconds!? That was only worth FOUR MISERABLE SECONDS!?' she howled in her mind. 'You have got to be kidding me! It actually worked this time, but it wasn't even close to being as effective! Damn it, I have it but I still don't have it! What am I missing, what the hell could I possibly be missing!? Think, damn it, think think thi—!' Vivi shoved yet another exasperated sigh from her grit teeth. 'Alright, alright, enough panic, no more panic. Just think it through in a calm and—!'

    Without any warning, Vivi froze where she was standing, her eyes blinking in honest surprise. "…oh."

    SKRUNCH!

    Her eyes then shot wide in shock as her body shook.

    Time seemed to freeze as she tried to process what had just happened. In that instant, Vivi became aware of a noise.

    'Who… is that?' she thought. 'Who's… screaming?'

    Vivi slowly turned her head to the side and blinked in confusion as she saw that the source was Conis, who was desperately screaming at the top of her lungs with tears coursing down her eyes.

    'Oh… it's Conis…' Vivi realized. 'But she looks fine. So, why is she…?'

    The princess blinked again as she suddenly realized something else: she could feel a slight pinching sensation in her abdomen. Her gaze shifted downwards and slowly she 'ah'd in understanding.

    'Oh, I see,' she mentally nodded. 'The reason she's screaming is that I got hit.'

    And indeed, the princess had most certainly been hit. To be precise, she had been hit by a rather large fist that had literally buried itself halfway through her abdomen.

    As if her noticing her injury were the trigger, time resumed and Vivi was simultaneously spun and flung backward, hitting the stonework of the bridge with a sickening crack and bouncing. She landed again on her side before skidding to a stop. After taking a moment to get some breath back in her lungs, she tried to pull herself to her knees on quivering limbs, only for a shuddering spasm to wrack her body and force her to vomit up a glob of blood and what she desperately hoped was only her last meal onto the stone.

    "—IVI!" Conis' voice screamed. Vivi was barely aware of her friend turning and starting to run towards her. She was then vaguely aware of a bipedal clothes-wearing simian moving to stand in her path, impeding her progress.

    "Have you forgotten?" Gorilla snorted in irritation. "You're still fighting me."

    "Y-You—!" Conis snarled furiously through her tears, but that was all she was able to get out before Gorilla slammed his gun into her Bazooka and forced her into a deadlock.

    "Be quiet and watch your friend's execution. You'll be joining her for the crimes you've committed soon enough."

    "INDEED, WHA-BAM!" Sharinguru cackled as he stalked up to Vivi. "This, right here, right now, is what I truly live for, DAH-DAH-DAH-DAAAAH! The Hero punishing the Villain, KA-BLAM! Sacred Good triumphing over vile Evil, KA-BOOM! THIS!"

    The Captain grinned victoriously as he raised his foot high above Vivi's head and started up a rotation so fast that the very air around it started to ripple.

    "IS THE VERY DEFINITION!" he roared at the top of his lungs. "OF JUSTICE! JUSTICE GUILLOTINE!"

    And with that, he dropped his heel in a blow that would sever Vivi's head from her neck.

    "Stop."

    Or rather, that would have severed her head had a single word not frozen Sharinguru in place and killed his rotation dead. It wasn't yelled. It wasn't a scream, it wasn't a plea, it was just a simple word. Or rather… a single command. A command packed packed with so much power and authority that Sharinguru's body didn't have any other choice but to lock up.

    And it wasn't just Sharinguru who froze either. Gorilla, Conis, Su, Robin… basically, everyone on the entire bridge found themselves paralyzed again.

    "W-What—?" Sharinguru bit out as he tried furiously to get his mouth to work.

    "Sorry about that, Conis."

    All eyes snapped to Vivi as she slowly worked her way to her feet. "But it's hard enough bringing this power up as it is; as near as I can tell, I can either use it on one or everyone, and I thought it would be for the best to stop Gorilla, too."

    Vivi started to move before hissing and casting a pained grimace at her torso. "Ah, damn it. That punch didn't break my skin, thankfully enough, so my insides aren't puréed, but this is still going to be a very nasty scar. It's going to be awhile before I feel confident wearing a bikini again." She shot an exasperated glare over her shoulder at Sharinguru. "You are insanely lucky that Sanji isn't here, you know that?"

    "How—!?" the Wheel-man snarled murderously.

    Vivi maintained her cool stare for a moment before hanging her head with a sigh. "Honestly? I'm not sure. This is all as new to me as it is to you. But I'm fairly certain that its basis revolves around my instinct as a ruler."

    "Ruler's instinct."

    All attention within earshot turned to the cloud fox, who was looking at Vivi in a combination of genuine awe and naked terror. "Instinct… it's something that every living being is born with," the cloud fox whispered, the sheer silence of the bridge letting all hear her. "It leads us to food or water, warns us of danger, all kinds of things. But…"

    Su slowly shook her head. "Not all are created equal. Some beings… when they're born, their instincts are superior. These beings, their instincts aren't just about survival, they're about leadership. The instinct to rule over others. I've only ever heard of it being found in the likes of Alpha Wolves and Sea Kings. But then again, I suppose that when you consider the existence of people like Wiper and Gan Fall, it's only natural to assume that humans would have it, too."

    Vivi nodded in agreement. "All my life, I've known that I would one day rule. It wasn't just from my father telling me, wasn't from my friends or subjects, it was just…" She held her hand up and stared at it as she flexed her fingers. "Something I've known, from the deepest part of my heart. Something basic, something natural. A fact, if you will. The sky is blue, water is wet, and I, Nefertari Vivi, was born to rule. And now…"

    Vivi affixed the Marine Captain with a firm look. "Now I can actually use it. I don't know how, but I'm bringing it out, and even if you refuse it with all your heart and soul, I will make you obey the divine right that I have held within me since I was born."

    She raised her head proudly as she glared down at the Marine. "I am Princess Nefertari Vivi of Alabasta, and you will respect my authority!"

    "…I honestly never expected to ask this question again, but… how does that make sense?" Robin wondered aloud.

    "Tseeheeheeheehee… haven't you been around here for a few years, Robin?"

    Attention returned to the Cloud Fox as an eager grin slowly peeked through her fur.

    "This ocean is the Grand Line," she whispered reverentially. "There is no need for sense here. What is… just simply is."

    "Respect…?"

    Vivi blinked in surprise before turning her attention back to Sharinguru, who was shivering in place.

    "Respect… your… authorityyyy?" he ground out viciously.

    Without any warning, Sharinguru's foot suddenly slammed down and cracked the stone of the Bridge.

    "THE ONLY AUTHORITY THAT I RESPECT!" the Captain roared as he ripped the blade at his side from its sheath. "IS THAT OF JUSTICE!" And with that, he leapt at Vivi, his sword-arm extended and his wrist rotating so rapidly that the blade became a disc of pure steel and death. "JUSTICE MAELSTROM!"

    Vivi tensed in preparation to bl—no, that sword was equivalent to instant death, definitely something to dodge. Before she could get a chance, however, a grenade came whistling in. The Wheel-man just barely noticed and managed to raise his attack between it and him before it detonated.

    Of course, given the suction of the Justice Maelstrom, the resulting blast hit him all at once, knocking him out of the sky and sending him bouncing off the Bridge, scorched medium-rare.

    "I'm very sorry if you wanted him for yourself, Vivi."

    The Princess looked over at Conis, who was smiling lightly as she reloaded her grenade launcher.

    "But you see," the gunner continued pleasantly. "The fact is that he does seem like a pretty tough enemy, and I'd like to inflict some pain on him myself. Would you terribly mind if I took him off your hands?"

    "We'll lay an absolute world of hurt on him, we promise!" Su smirked sadistically.

    Vivi blinked in surprise for a moment before smiling and shrugging indifferently. "Fine by me, that lunatic's ramblings were starting to grate at my ears. Meanwhile…"

    Vivi's expression turned cold as she turned her attention behind Conis. "Freeze," she ordered.

    And so it was that Captain Gorilla froze mid-aim, barely staying on his feet.

    The Princess smiled even as she jerked her Lion Cutters into her hands and started spinning them in preparation. "I'll handle this overgrown ape. Altogether, I think that for the two of us it should only take… what, thirty seconds?"

    "Eh…" Conis wavered her hand side to side. "Personally, I'd prefer to call it a full minute. It's better to finish with time to spare than to be late, you know."

    "Fair, fair. Now, then…" Vivi narrowed her gaze. "Shall we?"

    Conis' expression hardened as she slammed her fist into her palm. "Let's."

    And with that, the pirates began to approach their opponents.

    -o-

    Though it took him a moment to shake off the daze of the attack that had disrupted him, the Wheel-Marine Sharinguru was swift to get his bearings back and take notice of the pirate headed his way. His response to her approach was to snort indignantly. "Fool, SHING!" Sharinguru roared as he jabbed his blade at her. "Do you think that I, a Hero of JUSTICE, would ever allow—"

    BLAM!

    "GAH!" The Marine captain was promptly cut off by another of Conis' explosive shells going off in his face, causing him to reel back and sputter.

    "Allow? Oh, I never thought you'd allow anything," Conis said, smiling sweetly even as she returned her grenade launcher to her back. "That doesn't mean you'll succeed. I am Conis of the Straw Hats, and that injury you inflicted on my friend?" Her expression promptly turned thunderous as she whipped two of her pistols out and held them at the ready. "That was the last hit you'll land today."

    "You wish, pirate, SLAM!" Sharinguru declared, shoving himself to his feet and spinning his legs beneath him. "For you see, TRUE JUSTICE will prevail today!" And with that, the Marine shoved his feet against the ground and took advantage of the spin from his heels to give him an extra-powerful burst of speed.

    Conis kept her stance firm as she followed him with her guns. "Pistol…"

    "BULLETS CANNOT HARM ME!" Sharinguru cackled as he brought his blade before him and started spinning it. "JUSTICE MAEL—!"

    "Lux."

    "—GAGH!" The Captain promptly lost his stance when a flash of utterly blinding light stabbed into his eyes, burning his retinas and causing him to crash into the bridge and roll to a halt as he flailed and clawed at his eyes. "YEARGH, WHAT THE HELL!?"

    "Allow me to clarify something for you," Conis' voice filtered through the void of white that had devoured his eyesight. "Whereas your goggles are purely for show and offer nothing in the way of protection, mine are reinforced and have tinted lenses. Just so you know, up until now I've been using conventional weaponry because, in all honesty, I didn't want to show my full hand until it was absolutely necessary. After what you did to my friend, however…"

    The twin clicks of two pistols being cocked prompted Sharinguru to spin up the armor hiding under his shirt, and he was only just able to deflect the bullets that would have perforated him. With his vision finally clearing, Sharinguru staggered back to his feet and and eyed the pirate warily as she advanced on him.

    "I'm going to go ahead and give you a crash course…" Conis intoned gravely as she drew her rifles from her back and held them at ready. "In Sky Warfare."

    And with that, she whipped her rifles up and thumbed the secondary triggers hidden on them. "Rifle Incendium."

    The Marine prepared to deliver yet another of his tirades, only for his words to die when he noticed a glow building up in the barrels of the guns. He hastily scoured what little knowledge of Latin he had, and his brow twitched at the answer. "Oh, you have got to be—!"

    FWOOSH!

    Twin gouts of flame erupted from the rifles, spiking the temperature on the bridge and charring the stones. Conis felt her heart leap as Sharinguru was engulfed in the blaze.

    "JUSTICE TORNADO!"

    And then felt it plummet when not only was the blaze dispersed, but a whirlwind of steel and death charged out at her.

    "Shit!" the gunner cursed fearfully as she dove to the side, the tornado only just missing her as it swept past her heels. The channel it carved out of the stone in passing did little to inspire confidence. The fact that the whirlwind was slowly adjusting its trajectory and circling back around at an even faster speed did even less.

    Conis swiftly sheathed her rifles, drew and unloaded her secondary set of pistols at the Marine, Flash Dials and all, and bit back a curse as absolutely jack came of it. "Oh, that is not good."

    "Bull shit! He'd have to close his eyes to not be affected, how does he even steer without seeing anything?!" Su spat indignantly.

    Conis growled as she returned her pistols to their holsters. "At a guess? I'd say his rank and powers mean that he has considerable leeway where collateral damage is—GRGH!" Conis cut herself off as she dodged again, and promptly paled when she noticed that she was missing a corner on her jacket. "Damn it, he's getting faster, and from what I've seen of Paramecias, I doubt he has an upper limit." She whipped her shotgun out from behind her back. "Only one option!"

    "Sensible," Su nodded firmly as she analyzed the returning funnel. "Aim for his feet; that blade's at chest height, and with how fast he's going he might actually shred it."

    Conis nodded and took aim before slowly lowering her gun as the whirlwind somehow rose into the air. "You have got to be kidding me…"

    "THE HAMMER OF JUSTICE FALLS FROM ABOVE!" Sharinguru roared before dropping out of the sky.

    Barely keeping her panic in check, Conis whipped her hand-cannon up at her adversary—

    "Shotgun Palus!"

    —and triggered the Swamp Cloud Dial installed within, blasting a thick, syrup-y glob of clouds at her adversary. Conis swore that her heart stopped when Sharinguru's blades shredded the clouds apart—and then a second later, the remnants were sucked back into the whirlwind.

    "Ack! What—GAH!" was all the Marine managed to get out before the Swamp Cloud gummed his works up completely and sent him crashing to the ground, upon which he face-planted in a very painful manner.

    "Tseeheehee! Do 'Hammers of Justice' usually get caught on clouds halfway down and wind up eating pavement?" Su snickered.

    "Be nice, Su," Conis admonished as she stowed her shotgun and took hold of the grip of her bazooka. She was about to pull it out…

    "You…"

    But then paused and raised an eyebrow as Sharinguru jerked in place. She wasn't disappointed.

    "You damn PIRATES!" Sharinguru roared as he snapped his head up, his eyes wide and spittle and more than a little foam flying from his mouth. He struggled fiercely against the dense mass of Swamp Cloud, but all he managed to achieve was to work himself up into a kneeling position. "You think that this changes anything?! You think I've lost!? I'm the Hero,you idiots! Heroes never lose! They are never weak, they are never helpless! They come back from behind, and the villains never ever ever ever EVER WIN!"

    Conis narrowed her eyes at the tirade and slowly strided forwards, coming closer and closer even as the Marine ranted and raved.

    "You'll see, you damn pirate!" Sharinguru howled as he pulled as hard as he could. "Gorilla will free me, or one of the soldiers with us will grow a damn spine and defeat you! IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU DO, THE WORLD WILL ALWAYS REJECT YOU! JUSTICE WILL FOREVER PREVAIL, AND I, THE HERO, WILL NEVER—!"

    KA-CLICK!

    Sharinguru was silenced by Conis heaving her Burn Bazooka over her shoulder rather than under it and pointing the secondary muzzle at him.

    "Hey, Wheely?"

    The Captain's gaze snapped to the Cloud Fox on the gunner's shoulder, who was grinning victoriously as her tail swayed from side to side.

    "Newsflash for you," she sang. "See, the thing about heroes? They don't always win."

    "And everyone," Conis picked up as she cocked her gun. "Is the hero of their own story." She then tilted her head to the side and smiled. "I'm truly sorry, but it would appear that the world preferred our story to yours. Goodbye."

    She then pulled the trigger.

    "Reject Bazooka."

    BANG!

    The Reject Dial within the bazooka roared as it fired, slamming a pillar of compressed air stronger than any Burn Bazooka could ever hope to achieve into Sharinguru and ripping both him and his Swamp Cloud bonds from the Bridge. The Captain arced high into the air and hung for a brief moment before coming back down and crashing into the deck of one of the battleships, his velocity punching him clean through and taking him out of sight.

    Conis took in the sight for a second as she confirmed that she'd won, before slumping to her knees and clutching her shoulder with a pained hiss. "Owowowowwwww that hurts!" she groaned through gritted teeth as she massaged the throbbing joint. "That was through a medium, without physical contact and with barely any charge in it, and it still almost took me clean off my feet! How in the name of the Blue Seas did Wiper fire off that thing three times in one day without losing his arm!?"

    "Beeecause he's a monster worthy of this crew?" Su replied with a cocked eyebrow.

    Conis paused thoughtfully at that before hanging her head with a sigh. "Yeah, that's true…" A second later, however, she managed to give Su a smile. "But still… no matter how much it hurts, I wouldn't trade places with him for the world."

    "Tseeheehee!" Su giggled as she lightly butted her forehead against her friend's. "You know it!"

    -o-

    Gorilla charged towards his new opponent, rearing his rifle back as he prepared to literally knock the princess' block off her neck. He was broadcasting pretty blatantly, but he didn't doubt that any attempt to block it would be insufficient against his strength.

    "STOP!"

    And then, for an instant, he froze. Just an instant. It was only less than a second, but in a fight, a second equalled an eternity, and it was this eternity that allowed Vivi to wrap one of her Lion Cutters around his leg and yank, which, when combined with his off-balance position, resulted in him faceplanting on the pavement.

    The large Marine raised himself on his palms with a snarl as he glared at the princess. "You…"

    "Me," Vivi replied frigidly. "I might not quite have full control of this new ability yet, but I was wrong earlier. Thirty seconds is too much time by half." She grabbed her other cutter and pointed its blade at the Captain. "Four seconds is plenty of time."

    Gorilla didn't deign to reply, instead lifting up his gun to fire.

    "Hit yourself."

    The response was only a twitch, albeit a strong twitch, but it was enough to send the bullet wide. Gorilla grimaced ferociously as he took aim again. "Right. Starting after this mission, I'm going to start carrying ear protectors. Let's try that again."

    "Throw the gun off the bridge."

    Gorilla cursed furiously as his arm snapped out to the side. He was only just able to grab the butt of the weapon with his fingers before it left his reach. "You little—!"

    "There we go, now I just need to hold onto that feeling. Now, hold still."

    Gorilla involuntarily tensed up his form, and Vivi flung her cutter at the arm holding the gun. Her aim was true, it struck his shoulder. And then it bounced off. Vivi's eye twitched in annoyance.

    "Alright, how are you doing that? Explain."

    "Pah! I would never explain to you that I'm using Iron Body, of course," Gorilla scoffed. "CP9 aren't the only ones with access to the Six Powers, they're just the only ones who are required to master them all. Some of us, however, find it useful to add some of the techniques to our own arsenals. It's common sense, really, but of course, I'd never tell you that." A second later, his eyes snapped wide in shock. "Wait, what the hell!?"

    "…Wow, that worked better than I thought it would," Vivi whistled in awe before freezing as a thought struck her. "I am really going to have to be careful around Cross. One wrong word and he'll never shut—!"

    The instant Gorilla regained control of his muscles, he pumped his legs as hard as he could and Shaved at the Princess, hand outstretched in desperation.

    'Just need to shut her up, just need to shut her up—!' he thought desperately.

    "Halt."

    Instead of shutting her up, he started swearing up a blue streak as he was halted once again. He even prepared to say something, but his words died in his mouth when his enemy looked him in the eye and stared.

    "You will not move for ten seconds," she ordered frigidly. "Is. That. Clear?"

    "Yes, ma'am!" the behemoth of a man whimpered fearfully.

    Vivi responded by loosing the breath she'd been holding in a sigh of relief. "Good, because that was a gamble. Now, then." She allowed her Lion Cutters to slip out of her palms so that she was holding them both by their chain. "Let's finish you off, shall we?"

    With that, she surged forward and whipped around the Marine Captain. It wasn't Shave-levels of speed, admittedly, but in the course of eight seconds she'd wrapped her weapon's chain around Gorilla's torso in an X and was standing behind him, arms spread and at the ready.

    Gorilla eyed his chest warily for a moment before casting a glare over his shoulder. "This won't change anything, you know? My Iron Body is impenetrable! And once this fails, I'm going to—!"

    "Oh, why don't you just shut up…" Vivi sighed wearily, followed by a hint of menace in her eyes. "And relax?"

    The second that last word hit Captain Gorilla's ears, his very being, his body and mind had two entirely opposite reactions. While Gorilla's mind was filled with nothing short of pure and utter existential terror, his body completely relaxed itself, every one of his muscles loosening as he adopted a calm, slumped-over stance.

    "If it's any consolation?" Vivi shrugged casually. "I'm fairly certain that you should lose consciousness almost instantly from blood loss. But for now…" Her eyes narrowed menacingly. "For the crimes of driving my country to revolution, threatening the crew who saved me in every conceivable way, and stealing my friend, I sentence you to the mercy of your superiors." She tightened her grip on her chain. "May Osiris have mercy on your soul, because they and I will NOT!" And with that, she ripped her chains forwards. "IMPERIAL EXECUTION!"

    SPURT!     "AAAGH!"

    The curved blades carved a massive X-shaped gash into the Captain's torso, blood spraying into the air. And indeed, the captain's eyes rolled up in his head, showing only the whites.

    Vivi held her pose for a moment even as the Captain slumped to his knees. Then, she turned around and bowed slightly. "Sorry, that was a bit harsh and I let my emotions take control of me. I truly hope that you manage to recover. So… no hard feelings?"

    "Hrghghhhh…"

    "…taking that as a maybe."

    "This… This can't be happening! THIS ISN'T HAPPENING!" Spandam hollered from down the street.

    "You'd better damn well believe that it is, you bastard!" Vivi called after him. "And once we get our hands on you, you're next!"

    "Vivi!" Conis called out as she jogged up to the princess. "Do you need any—ERK!" A shiver ran up the gunner's spine as of her boots came down in the puddle of blood spreading out from Gorilla's prone form. "…Never mind, then."

    "Yeah, I'm…" Vivi heaved a sigh as she nodded in agreement. "It was tough, but I'm alright. Now that that's out of the way, let's head after Carue and—"

    The sound of a hundred flintlocks cocking rang out from the firing line the Marines had set up, three deep and stretching between each side of the bridge. More Marines could be seen aiming rifles at them from the crow's nests of the battleships, others setting up mortars on the decks, and still others fingering their melee weapons behind the firing lines. Rounding out the gathered force was a Marine in a Lieutenant's uniform, slowly clapping with a Su-worthy grin on his face.

    "Congratulations," the Lieutenant stated smugly. "You beat Captain Sharinguru and Captain Gorilla. Very impressive, I'll admit. That still leaves, oh, about two thousand of us." A pause, and then he neatly sidestepped a whistling projectile. "And while that sniper of yours is impressive, I have my doubts that he can stop a mass charge."

    That elicited a bout of mad cackling from Spandam. "WAHAHAHA! Yes, yes! Crush them, crush them like the scum they are! Drive them into the—! Eh? Wait a second… WHY THE HELL CAN YOU ALL MOVE WHILE I'M STILL PARALYZED FROM THE NECK DOWN!?"

    "The grace of God?" Su muttered to herself as she glanced upwards.

    Ignoring the exchange, Vivi and Conis exchanged uneasy glances.

    "This is going to suck, isn't it?" Conis groaned as she reluctantly underslung her bazooka.

    "Oh, big time," Vivi confirmed morosely as she crossed her Lion Cutters before her.

    The Marines chose that moment to begin flooding off of the battleships and cascading towards them, and the brawl commenced with gusto.

    -o-

    White.

    If you had to pick one adjective capable of describing the massive bathroom in which the fight between CP9's only and the Straw Hat Pirates' first female members was occurring, white would be it. Fluffy cloud clashed with equally fluffy suds, occasionally splitting and fracturing on account of blinding lightning bolts and swift Tempest Kicks criss-crossing and clashing through the air.

    It was nothing short of a deadlock due to the two opponents' fighting styles being polar opposites. While Nami's Iron Cloud was perfect in its ineffable durability, standing undaunted against the flood of suds, Kalifa's flood was blindingly fast and practically neverending in the amount of bubbles she could provide. Furthermore, for all that the clouds were impenetrable and relatively swift, they had nothing on Kalifa's Shave and her suds.

    In short, while Kalifa couldn't get close enough to so much as lay a finger on Nami, neither could Nami come close to even brushing Kalifa.

    And considering how the two had been locked in the same stalemate for the last ten minutes, it was something of an understatement to say that the two parties were more than a little aggravated.

    Kalifa growled irritably as yet another wave of suds washed over the Iron Cloud defense to no avail, provoking another lightning bolt that she herself allowed to wash over her own defenses. 'We're going nowhere at the speed of light,' she thought indignantly. 'One pirate is managing to give me this much trouble, and she's not even one of the strong ones! This is embarrassing, just what the hell can I—!' Kalifa blinked thoughtfully as a thought came to her, an eager smile spreading over her lips. 'Ohhh, yes, that will do nicely.'

    And so, the assassin suddenly came to a halt and threw her arm out, dispelling her suds and drawing Nami up short in confusion. "Allow me to make a statement that I'm sure you'll agree with," the blonde killer stated in a professional tone. "This stalemate has prolonged to the point that it's barely even a fight anymore; neither one of us is making any progress, and I can only assume that you are as irritated as I am."

    "You may be a bitch, but I can agree with that," Nami replied testily, drawing her clouds around herself in the process. "But unless you're ready to do the smart thing and hold still so that I can char you into a briquet, I don't see your point in stating the obvious."

    "Oh, my point is quite simple, I assure you," Kalifa sniffed haughtily. "While I was hoping to finish this in an enjoyable manner, simple and clean and all that, the fact that a Buster Call—and an apoplectic Fleet Admiral Sengoku—are apparently heading this way, means that I am pressed for time. As such." She adjusted her glasses so that they caught the light. "I'll just have to pull out my trump card."

    Before Nami could react, Kalifa leaned over and slid her hands up her body. Suds roiled up from the points of contact as she flexed her power, and the bubbles quickly spread first across her arms, then the rest of her body. Soon, she was clad in a full suit of medieval knight-style armor… made entirely out of soap bubbles.

    "Soap Armor," Kalifa proudly declared.

    For a moment, there was silence.

    "…You look ridiculous, Bubbly," Nami finally declared.

    Kalifa ignored the slight with a haughty laugh. "You won't be laughing once you observe the full might of my armor's power!" And with that, the Bubble-woman slammed her visor down and cast her arm out, conjuring a claymore of pure bubbles. "En garde!" And with that, she charged straight for the mass of Iron Cloud.

    Nami, for her part, snorted derisively as she watched the charge. Honestly, she'd expected a lot more than this from the Government agent. With an almost careless flick of her wrist, the Navigator launched several balls of electricity at her opponent. Every ball hit its mark, discharging their voltage into the suds and causing them to dissolve in order to expose—absolutely nothing!?

    "What the hell!?" Nami squawked as the suit of 'armor' collapsed into a puddle of sudsy water, before paling as a thought struck her. "…Oh, don't tell me she's a Logia!"

    "Not quite."

    If Nami had paled before, her blood straight up froze when a pair of iron-hard arms wrapped around her, one clenching her around her windpipe in a chokehold, and one wrapping around the… lower part of the pirate's body.

    "Where the hell do you think you're touching!?" Nami hissed.

    "Wherever I damn well please, pirate," Kalifa smirked in Nami's ear. "And for the record, I lied earlier; that was actually my Soap Doppelgänger. Now…" Nami's breath hitched when Kalifa flexed her arm around her neck. "How about we put an end to this?"

    Even with her air supply obstructed, Nami grit her teeth defiantly and swung her Clima-Tact upwards, sending a wave of Cool Balls at the cloud she'd had floating above the battlefield since the fight had started in earnest. Nami smirked as the heavens burst and a torrential downpour cascaded down upon the pair.

    Said smirk died a swift death when Kalifa's only response was to chuckle confidently.

    "Ah, you poor, poor girl," the assassin lamented in a faux-sympathetic tone. "So, you figured out how to counter my Golden Bubbles before I could even apply them to you, hm? And even went so far as to make it rain indoors in order to counter me. Impressive, really, but ultimately fruitless."

    "W-What are you—grk!" Nami choked painfully as Kalifa squeezed her throat tight and immobilized her.

    "Because you see," Kalifa forged on as though she hadn't been interrupted. "I don't plan on using my Golden Bubbles on you, or even killing you, for that matter. Normally, I would just crush your skull like an egg and be done with you, but in light of your crew's… unprecedented actions and the recent expansion of my own arsenal, I've decided to, shall we say, experiment a bit."

    The Soap-woman drew her free arm up Nami's side, creating a stream of bubbles even in spite of the rain soaking them both. "My Golden Bubbles wash away everything they come in contact with; filth, strength, even friction itself. So, I'm left wondering… what else can they wash away, hm? Just what…" She started trailing her finger around her captive's ear. "Can these powers do?"

    Nami's heart all but stopped in her chest as the full implications of what she was hearing hit her. "No…" Nami angled her head as much as she could so that she could stare back at Kalifa in horror. "N-N-No, y-you can't—!"

    "Ah, but the truth is?" Kalifa spun her hand and evoked a small mass of bubbles in her palm, angled just so that they were shielded from the rain and positioned right over Nami's ear. "I can. Chrome Bubble Cleanse."

    Nami struggled and writhed desperately in the woman's grip, but it was no use. She gasped out a scream as the assassin's hand clamped onto her head and shoved a surge of suds down her ear canals.

    "Nonono, NO!" Nami cried fearfully, fighting to get away as hard as she could. She needed to get out, get away, she couldn't let… let… heeeerrrrrrhghhhrrr…

    Nami's breath caught in her throat and her eyes rolled up in her skull as everything went white. Any thoughts of escape, of struggle or resistance or… anything really, dissolved into aether as the soap flowed through her mind. It was just so… so relaxing, as if the soap was scouring away all of the stress and grime that had been building up in her for her whole life. Her muscles rapidly turned to jelly and she fell slack in Kalifa's arms, her eyes glazed and unfocused and her expression as blank as a newfound slate.

    Kalifa cocked her eyebrow as she observed the pirate's limp form before stepping back and allowing her to drop, adjusting her glasses as she got a better look at her work. "Interesting. I was expecting a bit more of a struggle, but honestly this might be for the best. Speed kills and all that."

    Now, an important fact to note is that most other opponents or enemies would have left some form of parting shot or another to the unmoving vegetable that had moments before been a navigator wielding a weather-manipulating staff. But as it was, Kalifa was a consummate professional. As such, she merely allowed herself a victorious smirk before turning around and walking away.

    As she all but strutted for the door to her room, she amused herself with thoughts of how the pirates would react if they managed to find what was left of their navigator before they were destroyed, while at the same time strategizing how she could further utilize and refine her latest technique in the future. Admittedly, the most difficult part of the endeavor would be finding test subjects, but chances were that—

    "Vortex."

    Kalifa blinked in confusion when she felt a breeze brush against the back of her neck and heard a whisper drift through the air. "Wha—?"

    "Tempo."

    The assassin barely had a moment to feel the wind at her back start to accelerate before her instinct screamed at her, prompting her to drop to the ground and bury an Iron Body-enhanced fist in the floor. The resulting anchor wasn't a moment too soon, because it was all that prevented Kalifa from being sucked into the cyclone that suddenly spun into existence in the center of the room and sucked up all of the remaining suds.

    Kalifa craned her neck over her shoulder and paled in shock as she caught sight of Nami standing tall and proud in the eye of the cyclone, her Clima-Tact spinning above her head and a smug grin on her face.

    "Surprised?" the pirate drawled.

    "You… damn it, you were only pretending!" Kalifa hissed in equal parts fear and fury.

    "Ah… heh, no," Nami chuckled as she shook her head. "No, see, that reaction was real, but the effects weren't nearly as bad as you'd hoped they were. I mean, come on, what did you expect? You've only had your powers for a few hours. You really think that you could master them that fast?" The navigator gave an amused shake of her head. "You altered my mind, sure, but all you really did was wash away parts of it. My stress, my frustration, my anger, almost all of the negativity that's been festering in my mind my whole life is just… gone."

    Nami smiled slightly as she cocked her head to the side. "Honestly, I would thank you for it, I feel calmer and more relaxed then I have in years…"

    Nami's expression darkened with fury as she snapped her arm down and swung her staff out. As a result, the cyclone she was ensconced in came to a halt, but not only did the pillar of cloud not dissipate, but the room began to crackle and reek of ozone.

    "But I did say 'almost'," the pirate explained grimly.

    Kalifa stood up and turned to face her opponent, and promptly froze up as she noticed that, in spite of the suds she'd produced being melted away by the rain, the room was still white. But only mostly, seeing as the walls were rapidly turning black.

    "Because, in the end…" Nami narrowed her eyes menacingly. "Nothing can make me forgive you for hurting my friends."

    As the Iron Clouds her opponent had wrapped herself in molded themselves into a mesh cage, Kalifa could only bring herself to say a single thing.

    "…I should have tried my luck with Lucci."

    "Considering how you chose to face us instead? Yes. You should have. Nimbus Tempo."

    And then the very air itself was lightning.

    -o-

    Blueno slapped his hands over his ears as a thunderclap loud enough to wake the dead sounded out from high above him. Running through the possibilities, he grimaced as he considered what either Kalifa or Fukuro had just had to endure.

    He didn't count Kaku or Kumadori amongst the possible targets of the meteorological assault, as the former was fighting Roronoa Zoro rather than Nami, based on Cross' earlier rant, and the latter… well, he had already caught sight of his comrade's bloody, unconscious form in the midst of his flight from the Straw Hats' chef. A flight which, for the record, was still ongoing and not slowing down at all.

    To his credit, Blueno was taking full advantage of the mobility that Shave and Moonwalk afforded him, as well as his Door-Door Fruit allowing him to ignore any physical barriers in his path. But going by the fact that said barriers were being systematically pulverized behind him, clearly the cook wasn't slowing down either.

    And as if his opponent's sheer persistence wasn't bad enough, the fact was that Blueno's foe was as much of a monster as the two—three Zoans of CP9 were meant that he could use the Tower of Justice itself as a practically inexhaustible store of ammunition. It had taken almost a dozen blows from the pirate before Blueno managed to get it into his head that he didn't even stand a ghost of a chance at taking him on in a straight fight, prompting the switch to his current strategy.

    He couldn't fight back while the pirate was in the Air Door, and if he tried to open the way in, he would be lucky if any of his bones were left intact; forcing the pirate out would require more thought and force than he was capable of at the moment. As such, his only option was to run as fast and as hard as he possibly could.

    After a quick series of turns through a trio of walls in order to gain a lead, however marginal, the bull-haired assassin took the opportunity to hunch over and wheeze as he tried to get his breath back. Strong as he was, even the agents of CP9 had their limits, and he was rapidly approaching his. He needed to end things fast, or else… well, that didn't really bear thinking about.

    Once he got some oxygen back in his lungs, Blueno looked around in an effort to regain his bearings, mentally reviewing the layout of the Tower. Second floor, fifth corridor on the west side, which meant—

    Blueno paused thoughtfully for a moment, and then a brutal grin split his face as a plan came to his mind.

    -o-

    Meanwhile, on the other side of the dimensional axis, Sanji was getting tired, both physically and of the situation in general. His adrenaline and righteous rage were helping him keep pace with the assassin, sure, but not even he could keep going strong after kicking down wall after far more durable than average wall. Not to mention the fact that, to reiterate, he was breathing stale air and the assassin was making no attempt to open the way for a direct fight.

    That was easily the most difficult aspect of the conflict; he needed to somehow exit the Air Door before he knocked the assassin unconscious, or else he'd still be stranded forever, and he had to do it in such a manner that the bull didn't enter it himself, or else he and the whole crew would lose by default.

    'And to make matters even worse,' Sanji reflected sourly, as he levelled yet another wall. 'I've already run through every beef recipe I know to help keep me focused.' He shook his head dismissively as he dashed through the rubble. 'Bah, considering what I'll be starting with, it'd be more appropriate to run through recipes focusing on cows, anyway.'

    Moving on from his supremely cathartic thoughts, Sanji scanned around the room as the dust cleared. Going by the array of weaponry strewn about, easy money said that this was the armory of the Tower, or one of them, more likely, given the sheer size of the facility. The chef shivered slightly as the sight of the military arsenal caused dark memories to stir in the recesses of his mind, but he shook them off in favor of concentrating on the here and now.

    Sanji glanced around the room, searching for any signs of a closing door…

    CLINK!

    When he was brought up short by the sound of metal dropping onto a solid surface. He glanced in the direction of the sound, and raised an eyebrow when he caught sight of a half-dozen familiar objects rolling on the floor, all missing critical safety components.

    "Grenades," Sanji noted calmly.

    Then his mind caught up to him and he all but inhaled his cigarette.

    "Oh, SHI—!"

    He only just managed to throw himself back through the hole in the wall before the grenades detonated.

    -o-

    Blueno smirked victoriously as a blast of flame and smoke shot out of the hand-sized Air Door he'd opened. Going by the curse he'd just heard, if his trick hadn't managed to finish off the pirate, then at minimum, he was injured or off balance. Still, given how tough he'd been up until then…

    "Air Peephole," Blueno stated for his own benefit, pressing against the air and sliding it to the side, opening a line of sight into his dimension. A mass of smoke met his vision, but in the middle of it, he could pick up a very humanoid silhouette… spinning around in place?

    "Hmph," the assassin snorted derisively as he shut the hole and walked over to where Sanji was on the other side. "He must be concussed or something. At this point, I'll be putting him out of his misery."

    Once he was correctly positioned, Blueno shoved an Air Door open, leapt through and made a grab for Sanji's head - and then was forced to switch his leap to a roll when he fell through thin air instead.

    He was just starting to get his breath back when a creaking sound, followed by a voice, came from behind him.

    "Eh?" Blueno swung his head around in confusion. "The hell—!? Where did he—?"

    "Welcome," a dry and downright malevolent voice drawled behind Blueno, freezing his blood in his veins. "To the Crap Café."

    Blueno spun around just in time to catch sight of a flaming foot slamming his only escape route shut.

    The blond cook took a deep drag of cigarette as he regarded the assassin. "My name is Sanji," he continued tonelessly. "And I will be both your waiter and your cook today."

    Blueno remained frozen in place as Sanji started to stalk towards him.

    "Allow me to list," Sanji's next drag lit a proper flame at the end of his cigarette. "The twelve-course meal we have planned for you tonight."

    And with that, he moved.

    -o-

    A few corridors off from the armory where Blueno had pulled his ploy lay the central staircase of the Tower of Justice, a magnificent work of architecture that flowed upwards and downwards without any difficulties or gaps from the many floors that it crossed. While some parts of the structure had been ravaged by the conflict going on within the building, apart from the tower's bisection and a few other areas, the stairwell was largely unmolested by the fight. It was a true credit to the World Government's architects that the area managed to remain pristine-looking in the midst of all the destruction.

    Then a wall imploded and any and all semblance of immaculate perfection shattered in an instant.

    A moment later, another wall was ruined, this time by fractures radiating from a central point of impact. Then another, and another after that. Up and down the staircase at varying intervals, the stonework of the stairwell, from walls to steps to railings, all started to disintegrate.

    From sites of impact to outright shattering, it was as though some invisible wrecking crew were raining down unholy hell upon the stairwell.

    Finally, after about a minute or so, the destruction suddenly halted and the world fell silent.

    And then, all at once, a pair of double doors started to open in midair in the dead center of the stairwell.

    "FLAMBÉ BARRAGE!"

    Said doors were promptly blasted off their hinges by a suit-wearing minotaur slamming through them, his eyes rolled into his head and blood flying from his mouth on account of the blazing volley of flaming arcs of air that were slamming into his chest. Said arcs were being launched from the blazing leg of the blond cook who followed the minotaur through the dimensional gap moments after him, before the hole could fade into nonexistence.

    Satisfied with his assault, Sanji flipped and landed on one of the intact railings in the stairwell, taking the reprieve to draw a cigarette and his lighter from his pockets, his previous cigarette having been ashed over the course of his assault.

    "You damn slippery bull…" he growled to himself, glaring up over his shoulder towards Blueno's falling form as he flicked a flame out of his lighter. "You made me miss out on a chance to covertly check out the room of the beautiful Kalifa."

    In spite of his rage, Sanji looked away as Blueno reached the apex of his arc and started to fall, taking a calming drag from his cigarette before sighing out a cloud of smoke. "But, then again, I suppose it just can't be helped. After all…"

    Blueno's smoking body smashed into the ground floor of the tower in a heap, shattering the stonework into dust. He didn't get back up.

    "This prince is already occupied with saving his fair lady."

    -o-

    On the island of Enies Lobby, there was a tower. Inside the Tower of Justice was a room. That room, which belonged to Jabra of CP9, was decorated in the manner of the great gardens of the country Wano. At its best, it was a serene, beautiful place where Jabra could vent his frustrations when training and missions failed to do so.

    One would be hard pressed to call it beautiful anymore.

    The lovingly maintained grass was torn up and shredded, revealing large patches of bare sod. The rest of the plant life in the room had fared no better, reduced to salad and sawdust by cutting force. At least one rock had a massive square-shaped hole going dead center. And, of course, there was the entire ceiling slowly sliding off like the world's largest Jenga piece.

    And about fifteen feet to the left of center was the culprit of this devastation: a whirlwind of steel, razor air, and one massive square nose. A great swordsman once said, "Without subtlety, a sword is but an iron bar." The duel between Zoro and Kaku held no such subtlety by this point. Three-sword style, Four-sword Giraffe style, both discarded for good old hack and slash. Each blow was a killing blow, each parry attempted to break the sword that landed on it. It was the swordsman equivalent of a back-alley brawl.

    And it was a brawl Kaku was losing.

    Not quickly, mind you. Why, to the eyes of most casual observers, it looked like he wasn't even losing at all. But the eyes of an astute watcher would notice one crucial fact: Zoro was on the offensive, and he was controlling the pace of the fight. The giraffe-man's every action was a reaction, and he was giving ground.

    Still, he had a plan. As he slowly retreated, he drew his neck in, ostensibly to increase the reach of his limbs to better defend against the relentless onslaught he was being subjected to. And that did help, Zoro's slashes falling further away from his soft underbelly. But it was still only a delay; Kaku had a much more offensive move planned.

    Finally, it was enough. His nose shot out like a cannon shot, the shout of "GIRAFFE BLAST!" ringing out, and smashed into Zoro's crossed swords with a massive metallic clang. The pirate grunted, the muscles in his arms bulging, and with a roar he threw Kaku to the side, the giraffe-man rolling.

    "Do you know what the definition of insanity is?" Zoro growled, sheathing Kitetsu and Yubashiri. "Trying the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Two-Sword Style…"

    Before Kaku could pull up his guard again, his opponent was on him, swords ready to flash from their sheathes.

    "—Castle Gate!"

    "Tempest Kick!"

    Sadly, the blast, instead of hitting vulnerable Iron Body, skittered off the roaring winds of Kaku's favorite of the Six Powers.

    "And I could say the same to you," Kaku retorted, landing back on his feet. "As I said before: it's up to me whether I catch an attack with Iron Body or not." And with that, he hopped onto his hand and began spinning his body around, the Sky Slicer starting to form around the arc.

    "Tch," Zoro grunted, re-drawing his swords and pulling them back. "You're wide open like that! 108 Caliber Phoenix!"

    "Sky Slicer!" Kaku called out as he hastily aborted the attack, though the wind already gathered was more than sufficient to cancel out the incoming Phoenix.

    As Kaku flipped back on his feet, the two fighters evaluated their options. The number of attacks available to them capable of punching through Iron Body—'And wasn't that a fine thing to discover mid-battle!' Kaku thought bitterly as his hoof throbbed in memory—had been essentially expended already. And as for trying to remain mobile to deny him the usage of Iron Body… well, that was a doomed tactic for any assassin worth their salt, as proven by the earlier clash.

    True, the agent could try to turn the fight into a battle of escalation, pumping more and more sheer power into his attacks until he overwhelmed the pirate…

    Kaku gave the swordsman a once-over before shivering heavily. But no; young though his abilities might have been, he still had some measure of animal instincts in him, and they were all roaring at full cylinders that trying to go blow for blow with his opponent was a thoroughly bad idea.

    So, if mobility, ability, and strength were out, then all that was left was…

    Zoro blinked in surprise as Kaku shrank back down to his human form, but he didn't let the tension leave his stance.

    Kaku leveled a firm gaze at his opponent. "It's clear that we're not getting anywhere with the pace we're going at, and considering what's on the way to the island right now, I think it would be in our best interests to finish this. I propose that we both drop our Iron Bodies…" He raised his two swords. "And we put our energies into one final sword technique. The winner walks away, and the loser falls."

    Zoro took only a second to process that before smirking. "I accept," he growled eagerly.

    Kaku nodded and brought up his swords, arms held wide and tips pointed inwards. Zoro reciprocated, putting the hilts of his handheld swords together, the blades pointing clockwise, one in a standard grip and the other in a reverse grip. For a tense moment, neither of them moved, and then Kaku surged forward with the fastest Shave he could muster.

    "Three-Sword Style…" Zoro announced, spinning his swords in a circle.

    Mid-Shave, Kaku spread his swords out, blades pointing in, and activated his Iron Body to take whatever attack was coming. And he had a little something extra planned for once he launched his own attack.

    "Secret Technique…"

    Kaku was just launching his attack, swords moving in…

    "Three Thousand Worlds!"

    And then Kitetsu flashed down out of the spin, shattering his swords like spun glass. Yubashiri came around the next second, carving through his Iron Body like so much wax paper and opening him up from hip to collarbone. Wado Ichimonji adding another cut over his chest was just salt in the wound.

    Kaku hit the ground shoulder-first, flipping onto his back and reverting back to his human form before coming to a stop. For a few seconds, he just lay there, gasping and panting in pain. He had lost.

    "You… You knew that I… cheated…" the Giraffe-man wheezed. "You knew that… I'd use my powers… that I'd use… Iron Body… how—?"

    "Because while you definitely have real skills, you're not a swordsman," Zoro calmly replied as he drew his bandanna from his head and sheathed his swords. "Not a swordsman first, at any rate. Above all else, you are an assassin. That means you let neither pride nor honor stand in the way of your victory."

    Kaku was silent for a moment as he stared upward before allowing a smile to part his lips. "Heh…" he chuckled grimly. "Yeah, that's… about the right of it. Fat lot of good—ergh!—it did me this time around…" The assassin lapsed into silence for a moment before turning a bittersweet smile on Zoro. "You didn't even… use your full strength… did you?"

    Zoro regarded him for a second before hanging his head with a sigh as he scratched the back of his head. "Sorry about that, I just wanted the fight to last longer. For what it's worth? You were the best fight I've had in a long time."

    "Heh… heheh…" Kaku coughed up a mouthful of blood as he chuckled. "High praise, coming from you… at least I can say… I still have my pride." He shifted around a bit before frowning in annoyance. "Ah… could you reach into my jacket? Left breast pocket, it's—ugh!—where my key is. I'd get it myself… but my arms, well…"

    Wordlessly, the green-haired swordsman moved over to Kaku, his guard not faltering despite the apparent helplessness of the assassin. But as he withdrew the key from the specified pocket, Zoro's expression lightened somewhat.

    "Looks like you have more honor than I gave you credit for," he said. And with that, he rose and began walking away, out of the ruined garden. But as evidenced by the giraffe-man speaking up, again, his ex-opponent wasn't unconscious yet.

    "I… I have no doubt that I'm only entertaining this… because of how I think that there's more blood… outside of my body than in it. But… I don't suppose… you have an open space on your crew?" Kaku's smile took on a pessimistic overtone. "I… think there's a very good chance that I might be out of a job."

    Zoro paused for a moment before shooting a half-smirk over his shoulder. "While I'm sure that Luffy would let you join if you really wanted to, the fact is that we've already got someone lined up for the position you're most likely thinking of. And this might be a bit unusual for me, but… I'll admit that he's pretty cool. In fact…" His smirk became a full-blown grin. "I'd even go so far as to say he's downright super."

    And with that, Zoro resumed walking towards the exit from the devastated room.

    Kaku stayed quiet for a moment as he processed the parting statement before allowing a bloody chuckle to escape. "Heh… heheheh… I-I guess…" he giggled to nobody in particular. "That today… just really isn't my day, huh? Heheh, heheheh!"

    Whether by chance or by divine intervention, an ordinary, everyday rooster chose that exact moment to flap over and perch itself on the tip of the assassin's nose.

    This twist of fate only made him laugh harder for the last few seconds of consciousness he had left.

    -o-

    Carue clenched his beak together as Funkfreed's razor-edged trunk swept through where his head had been milliseconds before. The tusks, just as sharp, proved just as ineffective. Unfortunately, as good as his dodging was, it was all he could do. His claws had proven themselves to be completely ineffectual against the elephant-sword's thick, steel-hard hide, and after the first time his Shave-charge had bounced off of Funkfreed's skull, he had proceeded to fill the length of the bridge with his serpentine bulk and block every avenue of attack.

    'I guess he's the bodyguard of someone of that much authority for a good reason,' the duck reflected sourly.

    "That's right, Funkfreed! Don't give that overgrown duck even an inch!" Spandam cheered.

    As much as Spandam's voice grated at Carue's ears, it also served to help goad him on, his mind flying at a million miles an hour in an attempt to devise some way around the living sword before it was too late—

    "AH!"

    Only for his thought process to slam to a halt when a pained cry cut through the pandemonium of the bridge.

    'Vivi!'

    Carue didn't even hesitate for a second before turning on his heel and tearing down the Bridge of Hesitation, the world slowing to a halt as he pushed his body to the limit and dashed through the masses of Marines towards his charge.

    'I need to protect Vivi, I need to protect Vivi!' Over and over, the mantra that he'd drilled into his head since he was a chick rang through his skull, pushing the Supersonic Duck even faster. Within less than a minute, he was within eyesight of his friends. His claws bit into the stone of the bridge, tensing for a Shave that would put him right next to her.

    'I need to protect—!…eh?'

    And then, he actually looked at the scene before him, and the mantra fell away. The reason for this was that while Vivi had managed to accrue a small collection of cuts, scrapes, and bruises on her person, every single one of them was minor. Even the major wound in her gut, despite its size and apparent severity, was clearly not hampering her in the least, as the way she was systematically cutting down any Marines that approached her attested to.

    Even as he watched a fireteam of Marines charge her, Carue could already tell what they couldn't and didn't: they were already defeated the instant they decided to stand against her. And as Vivi's Lion Cutters wrapped around them and tore through them, an epiphany happened to strike Carue.

    'I don't need to protect Vivi…' he thought, the realization hitting him like one of Eneru's thunderbolts. 'Vivi's gotten stronger. She's strong enough that she can handle herself. I… I don't need to protect her.' And then another realization hit him, in quick succession. 'I don't need to protect her. The ones I need to protect…'

    His left foot, on the fifth push of the Shave, slammed into the stone in just such a manner that he spun on his other talon, turning a full 180 degrees and glaring daggers at the elephant-sword that was standing in his path.

    "Aye need…" Carue snarled, determination blazing in every fiber of his being. "TO PWOTECT MY FWIENDS!"

    And with that, Carue slammed ten steps into the pavement at once and launched himself forward with a furious squawk. He then repeated the process with his other leg, only that time he put in twelve steps at once. Then thirteen from there. Then fifteen, and then twenty, each successive Shave faster and more powerful than the last.

    And then the duck hit thirty steps at once and the air around him snapped, the pressure wave and noise flinging almost fifty-four, fifty-five Marines off their feet. Vivi and Conis exchanged shocked looks at the development before electing to take full advantage of the subsequent gap to storm further down the bridge after the duck, who was now speeding straight for the opponent he'd abandoned.

    Funkfreed blinked at the display in shock, closing his eyes for a fraction of a second—

    "SUPAHSONIC!"

    And then time froze for the sword as it opened its eyes and Carue was right there, hanging before his face, talons extended and rocketing right at his forehead.

    Funkfreed hastily flexed his forehead, his hide reflecting a flash of eternal sunlight as it hardened into steel.

    "KICK!"

    SKRANG!

    And then all movement on the bridge froze as all eyes were drawn to where Carue's talons were planted in the dead center of Funkfreed's forehead. For a moment, the world stayed perfectly frozen, as if it were all a picture.

    And then Carue fell onto his ass while Funkfreed stayed standing.

    A moment of silence, and then Spandam broke out into a mad cackle. "WAHAHAHAAAAHA! Well done, Funkfreed, well done! You see that, you stupid pirates?! You bastards never had a chance of beating… an…"

    Spandam trailed off in horror as his sword started to keel over with agonizing slowness, the change of angle displaying both the whites of his insensate eyes and the pair of talon-shaped dents in his skull.

    The Zoan-weapon didn't even fall halfway when he suddenly disappeared, a single badly-dented sword with tusks at the hilt and a tail-like tassel clattering to the ground where he once stood.

    Spandam stayed frozen even as Carue pushed himself onto his legs, shaking but still standing. He then flinched in terror as the duck pinned him with a determined glare.

    "You'we next," the Captain of the Supersonic Duck Squadron declared venomously. He took a step forward—and then promptly collapsed beak-first with a cry of pain. "WAGH!"

    "CARUE!" Vivi screamed.

    "W-What the—!?" Carue squawked painfully, agony shooting through his body from his talons up. He tried to push himself up with his wings, but collapsed again when the leg he tried to support himself with gave out with a sickening crack. The duck stared over his shoulder in equal parts agony and naked horror. "OW! My wegs! D-Damn it, m-my wegs just bwoke!"

    "Damn it…" Conis cursed beneath her breath as she took in the Marines who were starting to get their nerve back. "Hang on, Carue, we'll be right there!" So saying, she made to heft her Burn Bazooka, only to drop it with a cry of pain when her arm suddenly fell slack mid-motion. "GAH!"

    "Conis! What's—!?" Su took one look at her friend's arm before stiffening fearfully. "Your shoulder just jumped its socket!"

    "Grrghh…" Conis ground out as she clutched her throbbing shoulder. "Heartwarming gift or not, I'm starting to think that that damn Reject Dial was more trouble than it was worth…"

    Spandam was quick to recover his ego and don a malicious grin as he flung his head back. "Oh, now this is just perfect! WAHAHAHA—Eh?" He blinked in surprise as he realized something. "Huh… looks like I can move again." He stared blankly at his hands for a second before sneering and casting his arm out. "KILL THEM ALL!"

    "No! Leave them alo—ah!" Vivi's command was choked off as she collapsed to the ground, as though her strings had just been snipped out from above her.

    "Vivi!" Carue squawked fearfully.

    "Ah, w-what—!?" Vivi squirmed fruitlessly as she tried to force something, anything at all to move. "M-My body! It won't move, I-I-I can't do anything!"

    "Oh, perfect," Su groaned as she dragged a paw down her face. "The newfound superpower you've been spamming for the past five minutes has an unexpected drawback. Because of course it does. Hands up, who didn't see this coming? AND I WASN'T ASKING YOU!" she snapped at the few Marines who actually raised their hands, though she was quick to recoil when their comrades levelled their weapons at her. "Ah… actually, if I may rephrase that—?"

    "Soldiers!" Spandam barked through a sadistic grin as he raised his arm. "On my mark, kill the Straw Hat Pirates!"

    "NO!" Robin pleaded, jerking desperately against the soldiers holding her.

    Spandam's grin was nothing but pure evil as he turned his attention to his captive. "Nico Robin," he drawled venomously. "Allow me to officially welcome you to Hell."

    And so, in spite of Robin's cries, he started to swing his arm down and the orders were just about to leave his lips—

    "THE ONLY PERSON GOING TO HELL TODAY IS YOU, FUCKFACE!"

    When he was brought up short by a furious voice roaring through the air.

    "What the—!?"

    CRUNCH!

    "—GWARGH!"

    The next moment, a pair high-velocity metal boots collided with Spandam's face.

    Everyone present stared in shock as the Director of CP9 was sent tumbling ass over teakettle, glaring between his legs at the person who'd just landed on the bridge.

    Jeremiah Cross snorted proudly as he readjusted the brim of his cap. "Dynamic. Entry," he enunciated clearly.

    -o-

    Well, that had been a heck of a start to the finale of this little crusade of ours.

    As if hanging off of Franky's back while he and Boss scaled the side of the Bridge wasn't blood-pumping and gut-wrenching enough, we'd arrived at the top to the sight of our friends coming damn close to getting executed.

    Thankfully, Franky and Boss combined were more than strong enough to throw me at a certain piece of human filth before he could give the order. Now that had been a wild and damn cathartic voyage.

    As for my three companions, weeell…

    "BARRACUDA BARRAGE!"

    "WEAPONS LEFT!"

    "CHERRY BLOSSOM BLAST!"

    Suffice to say that they were currently occupied with securing our vanguard's safety.

    "Weeeeell, look at this!" Boss proclaimed, his grin face-splitting as he spun his rope-dart at his side. "Looks like we got here just in the nick of time! What does that make us?"

    "Big Damn Heroes, Boss," Franky laughed, the capitalization clearly audible as he slammed his fists together.

    "Ain't we just?" Soundbite and I said in unison. Soundbite then turned his eyestalks to glare murderously at Spandam. "Cut her loose."

    "'Ou… 'Ou bastards," Spandam slurred through his compacted face as he struggled to get back up into a sitting position. "Do 'ou even 'ow what yer doin'!? Dat woban id a debon!"

    "Yeeeaaah…" Soundbite drawled as he nodded his head side to side before glancing at Robin and grinning. "But she's our demon." He then snapped his teeth at Spandam. "SO CUT HER THE HELL LOOSE."

    I grinned at the display for a moment before shaking my head. "Nah, nah, he doesn't need to bother. I got this." With that, I walked up to Robin and grabbed her cuffs.

    "C-Cross—!" she started shakily.

    "Shhh," I hushed her as I looked her restraints over and confirmed that they were the number 5 pair. "You can say what you want once you're free. For now? This is about to get impressive. Watch this."

    I then stood up, turned around, and shot my hand into the air, five fingers spread and palm facing towards the Tower of Justice.

    -o-

    Usopp adjusted his goggles in order to confirm what he was seeing before leaning over so that he could shout down into the Tower through the hole he'd opened in the roof. "SHE'S WEARING NUMBER FIVE!"

    "GOT IT!" Nami called up before blowing a whistle and waving down the tower's central shaft. "KALIFA HAD NUMBER TWO, WE NEED NUMBER FIVE!"

    "BLUENO HAD THREE, NAMI-SWAN!" Sanji called out from a dozen floors below. "MOSSHEAD, WHERE ARE YOU?"

    "GOT IT RIGHT HERE!" Zoro shouted - from the ground floor.

    "THE HELL!? I THOUGHT THAT THE DAMN GARDEN ROOM WAS ABOVE ME! HOW DID YOU EVEN—!?"

    "OH, SHUT THE HELL UP, THIS DAMN PLACE IS CONFUSING!" Zoro roared indignantly. "ANYWAY…" He clutched the key in his fist and reared his arm back. "CATCH, SHITCOOK!" The swordsman unwound and shot the small sliver of metal at the chef like a certain geezer's cannonballs.

    Sanji bit back a curse as he caught the key a few inches from his face. "Son of a—! Damn crazy mossheaded—!" He was quick to recover and get his mind back on track, balancing the key on his foot. "COMING TO YOU, NAMI-SWAN!" he shouted up before snapping his leg out and passing the key up the tower.

    Nami caught the key with a mitt of Iron Cloud and promptly used her free hand's thumb to aim as the cloud flowed from catch to throw in one smooth motion. "ALL YOURS, USOPP!"

    The sniper held his slingshot in the path of the key, catching it in the pouch and grabbing it as it snapped back before lining his shot up with the Bridge.

    "One more shot from the King of the Snipers…" Usopp grinned to himself as he let his projectile fly.

    -o-

    I snapped my fist shut around the key the second it slapped into my hand. Then, in one fluid motion, I bent down, inserted the key into the cuffs and turned it, clicking the lock open.

    Robin stared in shock as the restraints clanked to the ground. "Ah…" she whispered numbly as she held her wrists up and flexed her fingers.

    "Wha—!? Z-Zad's nod bozzible! Y-You baztards muzt have—!"

    BOOM!

    "—UGWARGH!"

    I shot a grateful thumbs-up at our covering sniper before grinning confidently as I picked the cuffs up and spun them around my finger. "And that," I gloated. "Is how we roll." I then tossed the cuffs up and held my bag open, allowing the seastone (I had to fight to keep myself from cackling gleefully at that little tidbit) to drop into it with a clank. "And don't you ever dare to forget it!"

    Robin jerked as the sound apparently snapped her out of her reverie before shifting uncomfortably, glancing away as she rubbed her arm. "Cross… about Water 7, what I did—!"

    "Before you say anything," I interrupted her as I dug a bundle of leather out of my bag and plopped it on her head. "Here."

    Robin's head flinched under my hand and reached up to feel just what I'd put on her, snapping her gaze up in shock as she grasped her cowboy hat. "T-This is—!"

    "You forgot it before this mess started," I explained with a casual smile. "Don't lose it again, alright?"

    A swirl of emotions swept over Robin's face, tears welling up in her eyes. "Cross—"

    "Hey," I interrupted her as I grasped her shoulders. "No tears right now, alright? There'll be plenty of time to get weepy and sappy and whatever the hell else we can blackmail you with later. But right now, what we need is for you to be the cold as steel, tough as nails badass bitch we've all grown to know, hate, and love in equal measure. You think you can do that?"

    Robin stared at me a moment longer before bowing her head with a wry chuckle. "…You are a real piece of work, Jeremiah Cross…"

    She then glanced over her shoulder and a chorus of snaps, cracks and screams heralded busy days for the Marines' doctors.

    "But," Robin smiled as she stood up, holding her hat in place. "I do believe that I can manage that."

    I nodded proudly as I patted her shoulder. "That's what I hoped you'd say. But for now, if you'll excuse me…" I slammed my fist into my palm with a sadistically eager grin as I turned to address the source of the pained groans starting to waft through the air. "I am about to seamlessly mix business and pleasure, so that your own experience might be all the more enjoyable. You mind?"

    Robin eyed my target for a moment before bowing her head with a smirk. "Oh, no, please, I absolutely insist."

    "As you say," I bowed exaggeratedly before walking towards Spandam's stirring form, Soundbite's powers amplifying the sound of my footsteps. The… individual slowly raised his head in horror as I drew near enough to see the separations on the leather straps of his mask. I grinned cheerily as I snapped up a mock-salute. "Howdy. Remember me?"

    "You…" Spandam's eyes widened in recognition. "J-Jeremiah Cross—! You're—!"

    "The guy who burned Pluton's blueprints in cold blood and who has systematically ruined your life over the past hour?" My smile took on a bloodthirsty overtone as I tilted my head just so. "Yes. Yes, I am."

    Spandam's expression slowly contorted into one of fury. "You… You son of a—!"

    "EVIL suit-wearing LEATHER-ASS STRING BEAN SAY whaaat?!"

    The scumbag in question blinked in confusion. "Wha—"

    CRACK!

    "GAWRGH!" Spandam howled in agony as the toe of my greave slammed into his chin.

    "My turn," I chirped pleasantly as I leaned over and hauled him up by his collar. "Hello, Spandam. What say we chat, hm?"

    "By jaw…" Spandam gurgled painfully. "'Ou bwoge by jaw…"

    "Ooooh, Spandam, Spandam, Spandam," I chuckled as I shook my head. "Trust me when I say that that is going to be the absolute least of your worries."

    -o-

    "See, I've known about you for awhile, Spandam, and I've thought long and hard about what I'd do to you if I ever happened to run into you," Cross stated, his voice devoid of any emotion but a hard, malicious kind of glee. "And as I've thought about you, I've come up with oh so many possibilities, oh so many ways I can punish you for every last second that you have perpetrated the inexcusable crime of existing. Let's read off a few, shall we? We'll start with the basics: I could simply beat you to a pulp that not even your rat-bastard of a father could love. I could have Soundbite practice his Gastro-Blast on you until your whole body is jelly or his voice gives out, whichever comes first. I could have him recite any one of the terrible, utterly horrific sounds he keeps stored in his grey matter on full blast until yours starts dribbling out of your ears. And those are the indiscriminate. What say we move on to specific body parts, hm?"

    A special kind of malevolent evil slowly started to slide into Cross's expression, and his voice fell into a whisper.

    "I could cut off your fingers one joint at a time, and feed them to you knuckle by knuckle. I could use my Flash Dial to burn your eyes out of your head until all you have left are empty sockets. I could use a needle to hollow out every one of your teeth before sticking pins through the cavities and soaking them in vinegar and lemon juice. I could break your jaw, or rather I could re-break it, and then use it to force you to bite off your own tongue. Ah! But, of course, I'd start by pouring molten sand down your throat, in order to muffle that irritating whining you'd be making the entire time that would prevent me from enjoying my work."

    Saldeath whistled in awe as he eyed the Impel Down staff room's snail. "Wow. If he wasn't on the other side of the law, I'd consider scouting him for a job. Chances are that he'd make executive in a year, easy."

    "You're underselling him. Six months, minimum~❤"

    The demon-looking man hummed in agreement as he nodded his head to the side, before pausing and glancing at his fellow executive. "You're taking notes on this? You, of all people?"

    Sadi giggled ecstatically as she continued to transcribe everything that the pirate was saying. "But of course! More than half of these ideas are highly novel, and quite possibly effective at that! Didn't you know, Salsy? Being a professional is all well and good, but amateurs will forever be the most dangerous for a reason, you know~❤"

    -o-

    "—And then I would make you eat the salsa," I concluded bluntly, taking great pleasure in my captive audience's terrified whimpering.

    "…dude," Soundbite gaped in awe.

    "Cross? Color me convinced that you are the scariest person on the crew when you're angry," Lassoo muttered fearfully.

    "Eh," I cocked my head to the side. "That's an unfair metric, seeing as I doubt that I could hate anyone as much as I hate this particular individual right here. Case in point?" I jerked my head back over my shoulder. "I'm sufficiently pissed off that I could hand you over to Chopper with explicit instructions that he do his worst."

    I blocked out the ecstatic squeak our doctor let out at that.

    "But!" I snapped a finger up just as Spandam looked like he was about to faint. "I'm not going to do any of that."

    Hope blossomed on Spandam's face, and I had to resist the urge to imitate the Cheshire Cat, because oh, man, he had no idea what was coming. And that just made it even more delicious.

    "I'm going to do something worse than everything I've said up to this point combined."

    There it was. That glorious dawning moment of comprehension adored by sadists and stuffed tigers the world over. I swiftly drew my Vision Dial and immortalized that expression for all eternity before grabbing Spandam's collar and hauling him around so that he had an unobstructed view of the two comrades who'd come to stand behind me.

    "I believe you've met my friends, Franky and Nico Robin," I drawled. It was very satisfying to watch Spandam become stark white as the pair loomed over him.

    "In case you've forgotten," I hummed indifferently. "You framed Franky and sentenced his mentor to death a few years back, your father destroyed Robin's homeland when she was a child, you've made the past twenty-four hours of their lives a living hell…" I made a show of snapping my fingers in realization. "Oh, yeah, and you personally kicked the shit out of them less than an hour ago."

    "Pupupupupupu!" Soundbite chortled ecstatically in a thoroughly chipper and despair-inducing voice, revelling in the fact that Spandam didn't even have the strength in him to shiver anymore. "LET'S GIVE IT EVERYTHING WE'VE GOT!"

    I shoved my hand out, tossing Spandam to the feet of Robin and Franky. Their expressions were shadowed, but I swear that their eyes were shining murderously, and that I could see the GOGOGOGOGO~ characters floating in the air above them.

    "Have fun, you two," Isang as I waved at them. "And parents back home, fair warning: this is about to become very R-rated."

    "IT'S PUNISHMENT TIME!"

    And with that, I clamped my headphones over my ears just as the screaming started.

    -o-

    "Gahahaha! Yeah, that's right! Give it to him, pound him to pieces!" Genzo cheered exuberantly as he swung his fists through the air. He then made a grab at his side - and blinked in confusion when he only hit air. "Eh? Where the hell'd my sake go?"

    "Right here," Nojiko deadpanned as she swished the bottle in her grip. "And before you even think of protesting, even if this is as cathartic as when Nami sent that rat-bastard flying, if you didn't notice me taking this from you, then you're drunk enough already."

    "Ergh… yeah, alright, maybe you have a—HEY!" Genzo barked indignantly as Nojiko knocked the bottle back.

    "Pwah!" The tangerine farmer blew out a hearty sigh as she put the bottle down. "What? I said that you're drunk enough. I'm just getting started."

    "Tsk…" Genzo scoffed, looking away. "I told Bellemere that she wouldn't make a good—!" CLONK! "OW!"

    "DON'T TRASH TALK THE DEAD!"

    "SHE WAS MY DAMN DRINKING BUDDY, I'LL TALK ABOUT HER HOWEVER I DAMN WELL PLEASE!"

    "YOU OLD—!"

    "HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT SPORK?! AAAAHHH! AAAAHHH! AAAAHHHHH! AAAAAHHHHHHH!"

    The two briefly ceased their argument as Spandam's agonized wails reached new levels, and both wondered what exactly was happening.

    -o-

    Allow me to be perfectly frank: the first several seconds of the unmitigated beatdown were beyond cathartic, true as true can be, but I soon felt a bit of a sweatdrop hang off my temple as I realized that, well… theeey weren't stopping. Like, anytime soon. Which meant that this was getting… let's say awkward.

    "Sooo, ah, guys?" I spoke up with a nervous chuckle as I scratched the back of my neck. "IIII'm gonna just, ah… check on our friends? You know, if that's alright with you?"

    The only response I received was a glass-shatteringly high-pitched falsetto scream.

    "I think that THAT'S ALRIGHT with them," Soundbite chuckled nervously.

    "Aye!" I squawked in agreement as I spun on my heel and dashed over to our friends.

    "Lordy lordy," Boss whistled in awe, watching the morbid spectacle even as he continued to use a Marine Lieutenant's head as a punching bag. "I didn't know human limbs could bend that way!"

    "Eh… seriously?" Su cocked her eyebrow in confusion as she watched from atop an insensate pile of Boss's handiwork. "Shouldn't that be, like, blindingly obvious?"

    "No, I mean, I didn't know it could bend that way and stay attached."

    "Ahhh… yeah, I see your point. Resilient little fucker, isn't he?"

    "The nastiest cockroaches always are," I commented drolly as I walked by them. I then focused on where Chopper was tending to our vanguard. "Ladies, duck… you look like shit."

    "I'd teww you to fawk off, but I feew wike it too…" Carue groaned as he massaged his newly bandaged legs.

    "I'm not surprised, considering you broke every single bone in your legs in three places each, WITH MICROFRACTURES COATING THE REST!" Chopper snapped as he rammed a syringe into the duck's wing, ignoring his pained squawk. "Also, this is temporary until I can get them in proper casts, so for Asclepius' sake, don't use them unless someone's about to die!"

    I gave a light cough, drawing his attention back to me. "Prognosis, doc?"

    "Oh, hey, Cross," he waved his hoof absently as he stood up and walked back to the other two. "You've heard about Carue's injuries, but Conis and Vivi are in better shape. Conis just has a dislocated shoulder and some bruises, and aside from exhaustion, which I fixed with a supplement, Vivi just has a flesh wound. I'm afraid that that will scar, by the way."

    Vivi nodded her head with a groan as she waved him off.

    "Anyway…" Chopper turned his attention to our gunner as he shifted into his Heavy Point. "Conis, just hold your arm in place and I can get you a sling in—"

    "The bone isn't actually broken, right?" Conis confirmed as she reached behind her back. "The joint is still intact, it's just dislocated?"

    "Ah…" Chopper blinked in confusion. "Yeah, the bone looks to be fine, why do you a—?"

    CR-CRACK! "GRGH!"

    Chopper cut himself off and gaped silently for a second before pinching the bridge of his nose with a groan. "Tell me you did not just do that. Tell me that you did not just RESET YOUR OWN DAMN SHOULDER USING A RIFLE AS A LEVER."

    "Sorry, Chopper," Conis apologized with a sheepish grin as she wound a roll of gauze around her shoulder. "But Captain McKinley would have my beret if I let something like a loose shoulder stop me for more than a minute, and I will not disrespect the corps."

    "…If I see one more instance of back-alley quackery performed before me today, I swear to EVERY LAST DIVINITY IN EXISTENCE—!"

    "So, Vivi!" I yelped hastily, hoping to divert Chopper's mind from any thoughts of retribution. "How are you feeling? The heck happened to you, anyway?"

    "Ah…" Vivi started, before wincing as she rubbed her throat. "Ah, bit dry. Do you have anything to—?"

    "Ah…" I spent a second patting myself down, but then I snapped my fingers as a thought struck me. "OH! I know!" I turned towards the melee. "Hey, Franky! You got anything to drink, or—?"

    THWACK!

    "YEOW!" I yelped, clutching my skull where a metal flask had bounced off of it. Impressively enough, it actually landed in Vivi's lap. "Owww… thanks anyway!"

    "MY RIBS ARE IN MY EYES! THEY'RE IN MY EYES!"

    "You don't deserve eyes!" I yelled back. I then eyed Vivi as she took a swig from the flask. "Feeling any better?"

    Vivi coughed a bit in order to clear her airways before nodding thankfully. "Yeah. Cola works wonders on sore throats."

    "Oh, that's cola?" I perked up eagerly and held my hand out. "Give it here, I'm parched!"

    Vivi conceded absentmindedly before giving me a quizzical look. "Ah, Cross… are you at all familiar with a technique that lets someone overpower everyone around them using nothing but their own willpower?"

    I paused as I was about to take a sip and eyed her in confusion. "Er… yeeees? What I'm wondering is how the hell youknow about it. That's not exactly public knowledge there, princess. Or, well…" I shrugged with a grin. "It wasn't until you made it public knowledge, anyway!" I chuckled to myself as I took a swig from the flask. Mm-mmm! Eat your heart out, Coca-Cola, once you go Grand Blue, you never go back!

    "Well, you see, Cross," Vivi said, hesitantly scratching the back of her head. "The reason I know about it and the reason I'm asking is that whatever that power is, I apparently have it."

    "PFFFFFT! GACK! HACK!" I promptly sprayed my drink everywhere and started wheezing desperately, on account of the liquid going down every which pipe save for the right one. "S-SCRAMBLE! SCRAMBLE!" I yelped as I desperately slapped at Soundbite's shell.

    "Ow, OW! WATCH IT, no need to insist! YOU'RE IN THE CLEAR!"

    "There is very much need to—!"

    THWACK!

    "OW!" I yelped as a metal fist bounced off of my skull.

    "STOP WASTING MY DAMN COLA, JACKASS!"

    "FOCUS ON THE SCUMBUCKET, PERVERT!" I roared back before snapping my attention to the half-nervous, half-peeved, all wet princess. "Vivi, what in the blue, wet and utterly insane hell are you talking about!?"

    Vivi blinked before starting to talk. "I… Robin must have provoked Spandam somehow, because he was holding a gun to her head and he was going to blow her brains out. I was thinking about how I shouldn't be powerless to help my friends, powerless to do anything but watch them die… and something just…" Vivi snapped her fingers demonstratively. "Snapped in my mind. I heard myself yell for everything to stop, and… it just happened. Su thought that it had something to do with ruler's instinct."

    "EH!?" I squawked incredulously as I strangled the air. "You've got to be—! Conqueror's Haki? You have Conqueror's Haki?!"

    "Haki? You mentioned that with Satori and Aisa, yes?" Conis asked curiously.

    "Mrghgrgr…" I grumbled as I kneaded the bridge of my nose. "Their ability was just Observation Haki; there are three different forms of the ability, and unlike Observation and Armament, which every living being on the planet is born with and can learn to master, you cannot, I repeat, cannot learn Conqueror's; only one in every one million people is capable of utilizing it, and considering that Luffy is one of them, I think it doesn't bear explaining that I did not expect it to manifest in anyone else on the crew!"

    "It's… It's dat wawe?" Carue squawked incredulously.

    "Considering the fact that the average user is capable of scaring or taming Sea Kings just by looking them in the eye, and decimating an entire army, just by willing it?!" I bit out. "If it wasn't, the World Government wouldn't have survived a day."

    "That's a yes, then," Vivi concluded dryly, before shaking her head with a weary groan. "Is there any particular reason why you didn't consider bringing that up while you were spilling your guts on training techniques?"

    "Because I asked for instructions on them and I got squat in return!" I flung my arms up in exasperation. "Why do you think I was so pissed at Ace when he left, huh? The hothead stiffed me on Haki instructions, which I really hoped we could get because all three kinds are common knowledge in the New World! And unless a miracle happens, we're not going to meet anyone else who knows and is willing to share the instructions before we hit the end of Paradise."

    I shook my head with a weary sigh. "The story never showed the methods in detail, and the only way I've seen people unlock any of the abilities without training, as you experienced yourself, is through massive trauma. Believe me, if I had my way, we'd all be trying to learn it ASAP."

    "Ugh…" Vivi rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. "Well, at least now I can make people listen to me when I really need to, so that's something."

    I was drawn up short by that particular statement. "Eh… run that by me again?"

    Vivi blinked at me in surprise. "Uh… Yeah, I just focus my willpower on someone, and they obey any order I give them, even if they… don't… that's not what you're thinking of, is it?" she concluded lamely as she took in my poleaxed expression.

    "Try 'people keel over foaming at the mouth'!" I moaned in exasperation. I shook my head as I tried to reason things out. "Still, the execution and the basis seem to be the same as Conqueror's, so… maybe this is some kind of branch off of it?" I shook my head helplessly. "I've been gone for a while, who knows what the hell Oda came up with? There's a reason fans call him Goda." I glanced upwards with a weary groan. "For now, however, we have the world knowing that you are apparently one of the chosen few who always manage to achieve greatness, while you yourself are in possession of an absolutely alien ability that even I know nothing about. The day just keeps getting better, don't it?"

    "Yes. Yes. It. Does."

    I looked over my shoulder with a cocked eyebrow as Robin and Franky approached me with far too satisfied expressions on their faces. I glanced at Soundbite as I slashed my hand across my throat before speaking up. "I take it that you two enjoyed yourselves?"

    I made a point of not looking at the twitching pile of meat that was only just not classifiable as a corpse behind them.

    "More than you can possibly imagine, Cross," Robin sighed euphorically as she stretched her arms above her head. "I do believe I've just had more fun in the past ten minutes than I have in the past two decades."

    "HaHA!" Franky cackled as he folded his arms behind his head. "Not quite so long for me, my family's been good for me over the years, but damn if that wasn't enjoyable! Man, meeting you guys has been one of the best things to happen to me in years!"

    "Heheh, glad to hear it!" I nodded contentedly. "Well, now that that's all wrapped up, all that's left is to rendezvous with everyone else and—!"

    "Puru puru puru puru! You planned that," Soundbite accused testily.

    "I hoped that it would work. Nothing wrong with that!" I smirked as I motioned for him to pick up.

    He rolled his eyes before conceding. "KA-LICK! Cross? Usopp here. Nami, Sanji, Zoro and I all won our—OW! Hey, those Marines count, do you know how many headshots and snipers I just took down!? As I was saying, we all won our fights, and we've gotten as many of the the valuables as we can carry from here. We're on the Tower's rear dock now!"

    "Perfect!" I pumped my fist victoriously. "Alright, you guys hang tight, we'll get to commandeering the ship Spandam was going to use, because no way in hell can we pilot a battleship on our own, and come and pick you guys up! Then we wait for Luffy to finish mopping the floor with Lucci, pick up him and our guys back at the train station, and then we're clear! Honestly, barring any major situations, we just might manage to get out of this whole mess scot-free!"

    In retrospect, I would have been better off blasting my Impact Gauntlet in my own face than saying that stupid, stupid, stupid sentence. Honestly, how in the world could I have been so utterly braindead as to willfully say that out loud? Because that was most certainly the catalyst for Vivi tapping me on my shoulder.

    "Cross?" she whimpered fearfully as she stared behind me. "I… think that that counts as a major situation."

    Naïve and optimistic as I was, I followed her gaze with the most innocent of confusion, and was rewarded for my troubles with the sight of hell itself.

    "Ohhh, shitbiscuits," I whispered fearfully.

    Because really…

    What other reaction could a person have to the Gates of Hell themselves starting to open… and the light of an infernal dawn shining through?
     
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    • Xomniac said:
    "Have fun, you two," Isang as I waved at them. "And parents back home, fair warning: this is about to become very R-rated."

    "IT'S PUNISHMENT TIME!"

    And with that, I clamped my headphones over my ears just as the screaming started.
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    I was playing this in the background for everything after that. Great chapter as always!
     
    Well Sengoku is always reasonable. I'm sure he will happily shake Cross's hand and send the strawhats on their way. I mean he's in such a good mood! /s
     
    lets see...i counted a few Overwatch references...
    and "What other reaction could a person have to the Gates of Hell themselves starting to open… and the light of an infernal dawn shining through?"
    "huh....neat"
     
    Is Soundbite still Gastro-Scrambling?, because I'm rereading the last part and I don't think he turned it off.
    This means that the world has no idea what's going on right now until either Cross or Soundbite remembers.
    Considering the Gates of Hell are opening, that's not happening any time soon.
     
    Now, fast, Go into the machine room on the bridge, and close the doors. (Destroy the machinery afterwards)

    Nasty battleship will get stuck into the whirpools of doom.
     
    Xomniac said:
    "STOOOOOOOP!"

    A voice roared over the bridge. It was only an instant later that she registered that it was, in fact, her voice.

    And though time seemed to resume for the world around her, the same could not be said for the people. Everybody in sight, Marine, Agent, and even her own comrades, were standing completely motionless, some in awkward positions. And one and all, their eyes were wide with fear and confusion.
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    I fucking called it!
     
    Backlash177 said:
    Is Soundbite still Gastro-Scrambling?, because I'm rereading the last part and I don't think he turned it off.
    This means that the world has no idea what's going on right now until either Cross or Soundbite remembers.
    Considering the Gates of Hell are opening, that's not happening any time soon.
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    He did. It was after he was done talking with Vivi, once Spandam's "roughing up" ended.

    Xomniac said:
    Honestly, barring any major situations, we just might manage to get out of this whole mess scott free
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    And that was when Murphy started laughing hysterically.
     
    Xomniac said:
    Xomniac AN: Our supremely sadistic beyond all reason cliffhangers that leave you salivating for more and more. Plus it gives us an extra payday, of course. :D

    And hey, we're sorry for the scare earlier, but surely you'll forgive us, right? Because… we're brilliant. XD

    Patient AN: Brilliant trolls, that is. Though it seems we may have to step up our game in the future…

    UPDATED Xomniac AN: Blah, no one took the bait. We're off our game XP
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    It's not that you are off your game so much as.... well, sort of expected from you all now to troll your fans about that sort of thing. The catch 22 for us would be for you to tease about a chapter coming out one day, but instead coming out a week later, or having two chapters one day after another.
     
    Xomniac said:
    Ladies and gentlemen, we of the Cross-Brain have realized that it is possible to bridge one of the key differences between This Bites! and the source material, One Piece. What would that difference be? Why...the fact that Oda gives his chapters titles beyond numbers. Now, we could spend time brainstorming titles for the various chapters we have here, but the fact is that we're busy enough as is, and all of our creative energies go into what we're doing now.

    So, what could we do? Why, we could ask you, our loyal fans, to help us. As such, we are now launching another contest for This Bites!

    The rules are simple:

    1. Only suggestions for titles of already published chapters.
    2. Nothing that would be inappropriate for a T-rated story
    3. You may submit only one title per chapter, but you may submit as many chapters as you like.
    4. To avoid clutter, we will accept submissions only on the other forum we post on, Space Battles.
    5. Submissions must be PM'd to Xomniac, CV12Hornet, and The Patient One in the same convo, so as to avoid clutter. Submissions to the thread itself will not be taken into consideration.
    6. No plagiarism; we will not accept titles from other works, especially ones related in any way to One Piece, unless either the author of that work offers it themselves, or it is a relevant reference in some way, shape, or form.

    We of the Cross-Brain will allow this contest to run until we publish Chapter 43, and we will announce the winners three days after that, to allow sufficient time for voting on that chapter as well. The selection of the winners is as follows: each member of the Cross-Brain may vote for one title per chapter. Whichever entry earns the most votes will become the title of the chapter. We will explain what will happen in case of a three-way tie if it becomes relevant at the end of the contest. Now, for the best part: the prizes.

    For every 1 title: Sneak Preview. A 3000-ish-word preview of the next chapter as soon as that much is written.
    For every 3 titles: Ask the Authors. Three questions about things in the story that haven't yet happened.
    For every 9 titles: Omake Request. Provide a prompt for an omake for us to write forThis Bites! and enjoy seeing it added to the story.
    GRAND PRIZE: For every 15 titles: Backstage Pass. You will win view-only access to the documents on which we of the Cross-Brain write our story, and can watch and comment as we go through the writing process.

    We look forward to seeing what you come up with. Be sure to put forth your best efforts; after all, what you suggest could become a permanent part of This Bites!

    Good luck, and above all else? Have fun!
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    Chapter 1: Intro
    Chapter 2: Duet into Symphony/Impromptu
    Chapter 3: Tuning the Instruments
    Chapter 4: Unison/Harmony
    Chapter 5: Allegro!
    Chapter 6: Deep Blues/Underwater Concert Hall
    Chapter 7: Vibrato
    Chapter 8: Baroque
    Chapter 9: Shuffle/Skipping Tracks
    Chapter 10: Big Sound in Little Garden
    Chapter 11: Little Garden 2: Thrown Voices
    Chapter 12: Auditory Vomit
    Chapter 13: Winter Wonderland
    Chapter 14: Oratorio/Canon
    Chapter 15: Refrain From Pain
    Chapter 16: We didn't Start the Fire
    Chapter 17: Portamento
    Chapter 18: March
    Chapter 19: Grave
    Chapter 20: Lost the Beat
    Chapter 21: Darude Sandstorm
    Chapter 22: A Word from our Sponsors
    Chapter 23: Mad World
    Chapter 24: Secret Agent Man
    Chapter 25: Octave/Surfing Safari
    Chapter 26: Partita
    Chapter 27: Stairway to Heaven
    Chapter 28: Treble
    Chapter 29: Gregorian Chant
    Chapter 30: Hymn/Thunderstruck
    Review Spectacular: Let's Do the Time Warp Again
    Chapter 31: Da Capo
    Chapter 32: You ever wonder why we're here?
    Chapter 33: Candenza
    Chapter 34: Adagio/Major Medly
    Chapter 35: Buffering
    Omatsuri Island: 4′33″/The Sound of Silence
    Chapter 36: Arpeggio/Moonlit Sonata
    Chapter 37: Sforzando
    Chapter 38: Crescendo
    Chapter 39: Demons/Heathens
    Chapter 40: Concert


    Alright, now time to read the latest chapter.
     
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