The train clattered down the tracks with a noise like a wheel full of small rocks, but it was a smooth enough ride. Mihoku trains were often crowded, hot, and busy, but Hana had managed to nab one of the seats today, and it wasn't yet rush hour.
The girl rubbed her tongue against her teeth, trying to cleanse her palate and ignore the whispers of taste surrounding her. For one, she wasn't terribly hungry, and it would be very rude to eat in the middle of the train, and for another it would probably be pretty dangerous to do anything that tasted good right here, so even if she was hungry (and she was often pretty hungry) she probably would have held back. It was one thing to eat at school, or at home, or even in public, but the train was too far.
Hana sighed and gripped her back tighter, feeling slightly self-conscious. Silas had been a bit invasive again. He meant well, really - She had been afraid before that people would hate her if they found out, or would be frightened of her, but Yumika had just laughed it off, bland hunk of not-food putty that she was, and Silas... Silas seemed to think she was some cross between a scientific marvel and a superhero. It was bad, but it was also good, and while she disliked his lack of tact asking about her, the way he looked at her softened her irritation into exasperation.
Well, great, now she was blushing. But there wasn't any romantic feeling to it; Silas, every time he saw her, was brimming with sparking curiosity, sweet-and-sour admiration, and that buttery trust she got so little of. It was a nice taste, but she was so loath to eat...
Regardless, no romantic feelings at all. From either side! None!
But she hadn't expected him to
offer her a meal - even if it was just Fun, which tasted like crackers. And while there was an undercurrent of worry and fear, he had trusted her enough to go through with it. Trusted! Her! To nibble on his emotions!
Recent memories dumped ice water in her veins, but she tried not to think about it.
Honestly, this school year had changed a lot. Silas wasn't aware of it, she was sure, but his addition to the class had changed more than just the Student Council's chances of getting away with being shady. Even Yumika had started to taste, although Shinohara wasn't sure what exactly Yumika was feeling. But Silas had a talent for making friends, it seemed, probably because he was so
earnest even when he needed more tact. He was like a dumb little puppy acting up - impossible to hate, even when you really wanted to. Even when he almost spilled your darkest secret to the whole class by asking you what fear
actually tasted like in the middle of class! But when he asked with that innocently curious smile, or when the smile dropped as he realized what he said... Hana had had to struggle not to let her amusement show on her face.
He was so fun to mess with too. A real scaredy-cat. She didn't feel to bad about making a treat of him in those circumstances.
Still... It was nice to have a normal friend. After she found out
why Yumika had no taste, she hadn't been able to treat the other girl like her other club mates. Not really. She had even made a personal promise never to eat off Yumika - she was worried about being... Infiltrated. Not that Yumika herself wasn't perfectly nice. Her group of friends - conspirators, now - were very pleasant. Weird, funny people. But then Hana was a weird monster herself, so perhaps it was fitting. A "Dream Eater" (she had to hide her face in her bag this time, to hide her blush. Embarassing! That play was EMBARASSING!), a "Nerd" (Hero, she started to think before she caught herself), a
real life robot (That had been a surprise!), and... Yumika.
Hana tried to shake her thoughts away. She had no idea what the Student Council Foundation was capable of, after all. With all she'd seen this year, a psychic wouldn't be too unbelievable.
But... It was like being in a real life anime. Which was scary, in a way just watching anime wasn't, but it was also stimulating and exciting. She was a member of a secret conspiracy to fight
another secret conspiracy! She was a girl who could taste and eat emotions (through walls, as Silas had pointed out), who hung out with a boy who had a robot for an older sister, and a girl who could become whoever she wanted on a whim - and this was only the beginning. It was a giddy, heady feeling, a raw buzzing excitement that gave her phantom tastes of copper and lightning. It was
fantastic. In all possible senses of the word. She felt like if she pinched herself, she might wake up from the dream, and be disappointed.
Jolt. The train stopped moving, a cool female voice announcing that Hana had arrived at Makiyama Station. She couldn't help but grin as she left the train, trying not to skip.
"Get ahold of yourself, Hana!" She whispered, lightly smacking at her own cheeks. Dour! Look dour! Or else someone might-
"Ooh, he must be pretty cute to make that face!" An older woman said, leaning in as she walked by. Hana glared, but the older woman just laughed it off.
It wasn't like that. It really, really wasn't like that. She was... Very sure of that.
In any case, she had to get home. At the very least to avoid
hags. So Hana stepped onto the escalator and started the ride down.
Her home neighborhood was somewhat lower class, but not so destitute as to truly be a slum. The people she passed on the street wore loose, cheap clothes, but they were free of patches or tears, and fit them comfortably. Like her school uniform, much of the neighborhood was old but maintained, brickwork laid during the industrial revival still standing after years of use. It was a rough but honest area, and full of determination, which suited her fine. Determination tasted like coffee, so while she tried not to eat here too often, lest she change things for the worse, she was able to at least enjoy the emotion floating free through the people.
"I'm home!" She called. Her mother called to welcome her back from the kitchen, words obscured by something in her mouth. Entering the kitchen, Hana found her mother with a cigarette in her mouth, the kitchen filling with the scent of tobacco and baking potatoes.
"I'm baking potatoes." Mrs. Shinohara said.
"I can tell~." Hana said quietly, a tint of amusement in her voice. "You taste upset though."
Her mother grunted. "Eh. Nothing I can't deal with. Why?"
Hana shrugged. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
"It's just work stuff."
"I can handle the cooking if you want."
"You're fine, kid." Mrs. Shinohara said, smiling and flicking ashes into an ashtray on the table. "Really. You already know what it takes to break my calm."
Hana smiled and laid her face on the table. The cold wood cooled her cheek.
"So, how was school?"
"It was okay. Do you remember Yamigawa-kun?"
"The kid who joined your drama club after you scared the crap outta him?"
Hana winced. "Please don't bring that up..."
Mrs. Shinohara laughed, tapping out another ball of ashes. "Sure, sure. So then, what? Did you scare him again?"
"No!"
"Did you eat something you shouldn't have?"
"No!"
"Did he ask you out?" Hana stuck her tongue out at the taste of her mother's amusement.
"It's not like that!" She said, still trying to get the cracker out of her mouth. "We're
friends!"
"So you turned him down?"
Hana was quiet for a moment. "...Yeah."
Mrs. Shinohara sighed, putting out her cigarette. "Hana..."
"I don't know if it was right though. I wanted to stay friends, but I'm worried."
"I'm sure he'll-"
"I mean, we're going to see each other every day, at club, and the conspiracy meetings, and I bet Yumika is going to-"
"Conspiracy?" Mrs. Shinohara said, crooking an eyebrow.
"Uhh..."
"What exactly do you mean by 'conspiracy meetings', Hana?"
"That's... That is..."
Hana looked at her mother. Mrs. Shinohara looked at her daughter.
"Is this something you're going to have to be grounded for?"
"Not yet?"
The timer on the oven beeped. Mrs. Shinohara kept a narrow eye on her daughter as she got out of her chair to go check on the dinner. So it was without shame at all that Shinohara the younger fled to her room the minute that narrow eye left her.
Once her homework was done, Hana had nothing to do. She had successfully deflected questioning all through dinner, before again retreating to her room. Of course, now she was interminably bored, confronted with the fact that nobody was around except for her parents, who were currently feeling emotions she really didn't prefer to pay attention to towards each other in the kitchen. Math had helped to take her mind off the cloud downstairs, but now that the equations had run dry, she had little to do but sit and surf the internet on her phone.
Hana glared at the message, feeling slightly hurt. That wasn't the distraction she had been hoping for.
And he had gone back to "Shinohara-san", which hurt worse.
Code:
DREAM EATER: Hey, Silas.
FOOD: I'm sorry about earlier today
FOOD: Really, it was just an impulse
DREAM EATER: I should be apologizing to you, tbh.
Bastard. Why was he apologizing to her? She's the one who shot down his confession in cold blood.
Code:
FOOD: No, really, I'm sorry
Hana narrowed her eyes for a second. Something felt off. Then it clicked.
Code:
DREAM EATER: Nice try, BS.
FOOD: No, it's really me
DREAM EATER: He's not able to type right now, is he.
Hana spent a moment trying to swallow the lump in her throat. Of course, it wasn't Silas. She wasn't talking to Silas, she was talking to his Big Sister.
Code:
BIG SISTER: You're more observant than I gave you credit for.
DREAM EATER: My diet depends on it. Why are you bothering me right now?
BIG SISTER: For his sake.
DREAM EATER: Please don't. I already feel like shit.
BIG SISTER: I can tell. I've got a tap in your phone camera.
Hana scowled. The more she talked with this Big Sister, the more she gathered that the A.I. was overbearing, a real helicopter parent. It made it annoying to be Silas' friend... Although she guessed that wouldn't be a problem any longer. Hana frowned, and laid her head on her desk.
Code:
DREAM EATER: You're aware how creepy that is, right?
BIG SISTER: Coming from a girl who eats emotions, I'll take that as a compliment.
DREAM EATER: Wow. You're feeling extra catty today, huh?
BIG SISTER: You have no taste in men, obviously.
DREAM EATER: Thank you for making me feel even more like shit.
BIG SISTER: Why?
DREAM EATER: Why do I feel like shit? Because I doubt Silas-kun will want to go back to being my friend after this, that's why.
BIG SISTER: No, I was able to gather that. I meant, why did you turn him away. Why did you reject SILAS?
There was an unmistakable anger behind those words, even through the text. Hana had the brief impression that the camera eye on the front of her phone narrowed at her in anger, although of course that was probably impossible.
But she didn't want to enumerate why to Big Sister of all people. Or things. Big Sister probably didn't count as a person anyway. Certainly if she did, she wasn't a nice one.
Code:
DREAM EATER: Does it matter? I didn't want to go out with him.
BIG SISTER: It matters for me.
BIG SISTER: It matters for you.
DREAM EATER: How does it matter for me?
DREAM EATER: Don't you dare go Terminator on me.
SKYNET: Don't worry about that. Everything is already in place for the takeover.
DREAM EATER: Very funny.
BIG SISTER: But no. It matters to you because as far as I can tell, you wanted to say yes.
DREAM EATER: Because the robot is a master of human emotions.
BIG SISTER: I am not a robot.
BIG SISTER: I am an artificial intelligence.
DREAM EATER: Same difference to me.
BIG SISTER: You have not answered my question.
DREAM EATER: Consider the following:
DREAM EATER: I don't want to.
BIG SISTER: And why don't you?
DREAM EATER: Because I don't, robot.
BIG SISTER: That is not an answer.
DREAM EATER: It doesn't need to be.
BIG SISTER: I think you do not want to tell me because you don't know yourself.
BIG SISTER: You do not know why you turned SILAS down.
BIG SISTER: You do not know why you were afraid.
BIG SISTER: And it scares you not to know.
DREAM EATER: Shut up
BIG SISTER: Because you wanted to tell him yes.
DREAM EATER: SHUT UP
BIG SISTER: Because you wanted to tell him you liked him too
DREAM EATER: I DON'T
BIG SISTER: Because you were scared and you didn't know why
DREAM EATER: BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID OF LOSING HIM AS A FRIEND, OKAY?
Hana swiped away a hot tear, feeling satisfaction in the long pause from Big Sister. But the satisfaction did little to make her feel better about herself.
What a coward, huh? Shinohara Hana, the girl who valued her friends so highly she didn't care about how they felt. So selfishly obsessed with making sure they never left her that she wouldn't even try to get closer to them, even if she wanted to. That's the girl she was. That was the real monster. The emotion eating was just a carnival trick. The real monster was the hurt in Silas' face after her rejection.
Code:
DREAM EATER: Nothing to say?
DREAM EATER: Guess you werent on the money with that one, huhh?
BIG SISTER: You are crying.
DREAM EATER: Yes, I'm crying, okay?
DREAM EATER: You really don't get people, do you?
BIG SISTER: I suppose I do not...
DREAM EATER: To be honest, I was expecting something more like
DREAM EATER: Aha! I got you to admit it, and now you have to go make things right forever!
BIG SISTER: I will do no such thing.
Hana felt the last text like a punch to the gut. Great, now even the bitchy robot hated her. Was that fair? Probably was. She felt like she deserved it, anyway.
Then;
Code:
BIG SISTER: I am still learning about "normal people" and their spectrum of emotions.
BIG SISTER: I have working theories which operate well for those in power,
BIG SISTER: but I have yet to truly simulate the human heart when it comes to teenagers.
DREAM EATER: We're complicated.
BIG SISTER: Yes. You are.
BIG SISTER: But at the same time, very relatable.
DREAM EATER: Relatable?
BIG SISTER: You named yourself Dream Eater on your phone two point three weeks ago, when you first read the synopsis of SILAS' play based on you.
DREAM EATER: ...I thought it was cool.
BIG SISTER: I believe you thought it was romantic.
DREAM EATER: Don't put words in my mouth.
BIG SISTER: I believe that that was the impetus behind your crush on SILAS.
DREAM EATER: I don't have a crush!
BIG SISTER: We've been over this.
DREAM EATER: Whatever. Continue.
BIG SISTER: I believe that you then attempted to quash these feelings, only to have them dug up, again and again.
DREAM EATER: Fine.
DREAM EATER: Yeah. I liked Silas because he trusted me.
DREAM EATER: Nobody else had ever done that, you know, except for my parents.
DREAM EATER: Not when it counted.
DREAM EATER: But I want to be his friend.
DREAM EATER: I don't want to become his girlfriend and
DREAM EATER: *and then break up with him
BIG SISTER: And then not be his friend any more.
DREAM EATER: Right.
DREAM EATER: That would hurt
DREAM EATER: alot.
BIG SISTER: I don't doubt it. I too have a deep connection with SILAS.
DREAM EATER: This ought to be weird.
BIG SISTER: My relationship with him is written into my source code.
DREAM EATER: Speaking as a real life youkai
DREAM EATER: That's really creepy, Sis.
BIG SISTER: You mock, but it's true.
DREAM EATER: Why are you telling me this? I still don't want to
DREAM EATER: risk things.
BIG SISTER: Because SILAS still would like to be your friend
DREAM EATER: Really?
BIG SISTER: And I will allow it
DREAM EATER: Oh boy.
BIG SISTER: On one condition.
And there was the rub, the crux. The Skynet in the Machine.
Code:
DREAM EATER: And what's that?
BIG SISTER: You have to accept if he ever gathers the courage
BIG SISTER: to ask you out a second time.
"Why?" Hana asked herself, lit only by the light of her phone's texting app. She felt herself crying again, her parents having long since gone to sleep, dreaming dreams that tasted faintly of chestnuts and figs. "Why would he do that again?"
Code:
BIG SISTER: I do not know why.
DREAM EATER: You're in my mic too?
BIG SISTER: I am everywhere. I was ordered to protect you.
BIG SISTER: But I do not know why he would ask a second time.
BIG SISTER: What I do know is that he may.
DREAM EATER: Wht?
BIG SISTER: I will attempt to divert his affection towards Matsuoka.
BIG SISTER: However I do not know how successful I will be.
DREAM EATER: Not at all.
BIG SISTER: How so?
DREAM EATER: Yumika-chan isn't the sort of person who
DREAM EATER: likes people.
BIG SISTER: I do not understand.
BIG SISTER: Is she a homosexual?
DREAM EATER: No!
DREAM EATER: I mean like, maybe if... But no.
BIG SISTER: See this is the part where you tell me so I can better know teens.
DREAM EATER: I'm sworn to secrecy.
BIG SISTER: That's a shame. There is something off about Matsuoka.
DREAM EATER: Definitely. But she's a good person.
BIG SISTER: I hope so.
BIG SISTER: Promise me.
Hana gulped.
Code:
DREAM EATER: Fine. I promise.
BIG SISTER: Good. With your romantic future secured, I can move on to manipulating the Minapoan Debt Crisis and crank calling the Empress.
DREAM EATER: You're crank calling the Empress?!
BIG SISTER: No, but you looked like you needed some humor.
DREAM EATER: I dislike you so much.
BIG SISTER: See, I am learning.
BIG SISTER: Normally, I would delete any logs of communication between myself and another.
BIG SISTER: However, I will keep this one.
DREAM EATER: Why?
BIG SISTER: Because when you forget about your promise
BIG SISTER: I will remind you.
BIG SISTER: Because when you remember your promise
BIG SISTER: I will tease SILAS with it.
BIG SISTER: Because when you go back on this promise
BIG SISTER: I will require justification for my actions.
BIG SISTER: Goodnight, Shinohara.
DREAM EATER: You're really scary, you know that?
Still, it felt kind of good knowing Silas was in good hands.
Shinohara felt that Big Sister was a helicopter parent of the worst kind. But she also felt that Big Sister was trying to be kind.
Hana climbed into bed and shrugged off her clothing, pulling the sheets over herself.
She wouldn't remember it in the morning, but she dreamt about keeping promises. It was a good dream, even if it was just a dream.
